Castle of Cards
by nyoengland
Summary: Alfred was the heir to the Spades throne. Arthur was part of his Deciding, something he'd never thought possible. Neither of them expected to cross paths, and between all the secrets within the primary suits, will they manage to stay themselves - and possibly find love? Updated weekly. Cardverse!
1. Letters

**here is the official rewrite! i've completely scrapped the old one, and thanks to some lovely critics i've refurbished it. the next few chapters will be following soon, so please enjoy!**

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

Arthur peered out of the door of their small apartment, his eyes seeking out his roommate and giving a relieved sigh as Kiku's dark hair came over the rickety stairs that led to their housing facility.

"Have our recent test results come back yet?" Arthur called.

"Not yet," his best friend said curtly. "But there is something else that I think that you would wish to see."

"Did you use too much water again this month?" he asked in response, shuffling through the white envelopes.

"I will pay more in advance this time," Kiku replied, sounding embarrassed, but handed him a thick bundle of multicoloured envelopes. "But these are the ones that I would like to bring to your attention."

Arthur's mouth twisted into a frown when he took one of each colour, turning them over and over in his hands. The coarse surface was a lot different than the smooth ones that were the norm in Hearts, so that could mean one thing.

"Did the head mention something about them coming _this_ early? They only gave us that lecture last week. Now we have to choose?"

"You may say that I have already made a decision." Kiku said as he beckoned Arthur back into their apartment and locked the door behind him.

"I'm guessing you talked with Heracles?" He put the rest of the letters onto their kitchen table as he turned the dingy living room light back on. "He did mention something about the Signing at lunch last week."

"Who else would I have discussed such a topic with? He recommended that I would stay in Hearts, because even though there is a tiny chance that I will join their Suit, I do not have to marry anyone in the end. Unfortunately, I doubt that would help his predicament, because the farthest I might get is a recommendation," Kiku sighed, his face shifting into a dejected expression.

The atmosphere turned quiet as Arthur shelled the papers out of the envelopes, examining each one with a serious expression. Each one provided a small overview of each of the current Primary Suit members for each kingdom and some basic information and what would be required of them. After a few moments, Kiku followed suit, the other boy deciding to go and prepare breakfast. All these difficult decisions called for a good, strong cup of tea.

"Did the head council mention anything about Diamonds this year? I know they are not hosting this time around, but…they hosted one last year and that certainly was not to gain a new member."

"Monetary problems." Arthur replied over a mouthful of scone. "They've been in a trade deficit recently, and that's why King Francis didn't say anything about it this time."

"Do you really think the king will publicly admit that his country is weak? I am guessing that Clubs are in a similar problem, but of course due to their king they will not talk."

"Is there anything else I need to know about the other kingdoms?"

"Well, Clubs are looking for their Ace and Spades and Hearts are both looking for their Queens. However, if I remember correctly, you will have to marry the crown prince if you are to apply for Spades."

"Oh?" Arthur said, taking another sip of his tea. "His name's…Alfred, if I remember correctly."

They hadn't had much interaction at all with either of the Primary Suits, especially for a group of people whose lives had been prepped up to this point in time to become part of them. Arthur could only remember one time when they were a lot younger and the holding facility was still located in Spades territory. The entire royal family had visited that time, but other from that and occasional television reports, those were the only memories he had.

"Arthur, I am not sure you understand the situation," Kiku pressed with an amused expression. "In order to compete in the Spades Deciding, you will be expected to attempt to romance the prince."

His expression paused for a moment, then he quickly scanned the letter that Kiku had in his hands.

 _…this nature of the Deciding will be romantic, with the expectation of being able to be romantically interested in Prince Alfred. Most interactions will be expected to express romantic attraction, and it is discouraged if a participant's respects towards the prince are anything but a romantic nature…_

"You're not making me do that!" Arthur protested, pushing the paper back onto the table. " _Respects_ anything but _romantic_? I haven't even been involved with someone before!"

Kiku chuckled, putting down his cup. "I did ask whether you really did read the information before brushing it off."

"What, am I supposed to be a blushing teenager completely obsessed with him? I mean, I won't have the basis to hate him, but…!"

"Do you think that he would be so easy to dislike? This is an opportunity for you as well for him."

"Kiku, can't I join Hearts with you?" Arthur pleaded, running his hands through his hair. "Things like these usually don't end well."

His friend suddenly looked uncomfortable, and began to fidget nervously.

"Kiku, what's bothering you?"

"I…I have a big favour to ask of you," he said. "And well…let us just say that is the reason why I must ask you to join the Spades Deciding."

"Is it because of the alliance?" Arthur asked, to which Kiku nodded yes.

The kingdoms of Spades and Hearts had been aligned with each other since their creation and had held one of the longest trade and aid alliances. Only until recently had the two kingdoms resumed their military alliance over the long feud over two lands, and they were taking further steps to improve the status of their agreement.

"I am sure that whatever I will try to do to protect Heracles might not be enough if I apply for Hearts, it will not be much. But since Spades have an influence over Hearts, maybe someone from that kingdom may be able to influence them to at least send him home as soon as possible. It is the least I can do," Kiku said, but his expression was pleading. "It would mean the world to me, Arthur, if you signed up for not only his sake but yours. We _have_ been preparing for this moment since we stepped into this facility, after all."

Arthur's gaze was lost as he nursed his cup, clearly deep in thought.

"But," Kiku sighed, shuffling around the room to get a pen, "If you are really against the idea, then I will sign up for Spades instead."

"That means you'll have to romance the prince instead! Don't you already love Heracles?" Arthur blurted, his gaze shooting up from the floor to his best friend.

"I would rather he be alive than me being content and him gone."

Silence filled the room for a few moments before Arthur exhaled and uncapped the lid of the pen. He didn't quite know what to say; even though he had been a third wheel for the pair for a long time there was such a strong devotion between the two that he couldn't help but admire. Why should he ask Kiku to give up their love, when there was clearly another option?

"Kiku…sign up for the Deciding in Hearts."

"What? Arthur, you know that I cannot sit back and do nothing for his situation-" he began, but Arthur shook his head, making him quiet.

"You're right," he said slowly. "We were trained to enter one, right? And if I don't…well, I won't fall in love with the prince, then I guess I should walk away with the fact that I've at least tried."

A small smile made it's way onto Kiku's mouth, and he nodded tightly.

"We should fill out the forms before we get too caught up."

* * *

"…for every week of your participation, you will be rewarded in a selection of ways-whether that be in monetary means given to you or other social favours…"

Arthur was slowly reading the letter aloud, skimming over the areas that had been already covered in the lecture they had the other day. But Kiku seemed to be reading another, smaller envelope-this time stained yellow. Kiku had taken a walk after their intense conversation, and so he had put off rereading the letter properly until the sun had began to dip underneath the towering tree in their compound.

"Anything interesting?"

"Oh, it is Matthew. He came in with the post," his friend replied. "There seems to be an issue with the new Deciding season."

"…has there been another issue? I thought the two of you were still talking."

"We are," Kiku said, keeping his voice down due to the substance of the conversation. "It's just that there seems to be added pressure for him to take in a companion by his advisership."

Arthur pulled his chair closer, whispering as he spoke.

"Is it about…Gilbert?"

Gilbert-or as everyone else in Cards knew him, the second Joker-had been romantically involved with the Ace of Spades since he turned sixteen.

Arthur wasn't aware of the fact that Kiku and Matthew had kept such close correspondence until last October, when he had come home late with cleaning up a table he had accidentally thrown a pair of scissors with his magic. He'd found the mail on a neat heap after Kiku had taken it in, and Matthew's lettering had not been enough to identify him but the palace issued stationery had been enough. The fact that he had become involved with the _Joker_ , of all people, was baffling to Arthur since from reading the newspaper and occasionally watching the television Matthew seemed like a sensible person.

"It seems so. He is saying that he is expected to find a companionship…'very soon, as Yao fears that I may be lonely while Alfred and his bunch are visiting. Even more so when he chooses his Queen.' He apparently is asking for one of us to-oh, yes, that is correct."

"He's a very nice guy, from what little we know," Arthur said quietly. "Well, I suppose I'll just go on your behalf, then."

"It is more of the Gilbert issue that he seems to require assistance on. He apparently wants to confess the nature of their relationship to the rest of the court? I have advised him to hold back for quite a while now, but it seems like he really does want to do it even more so now. You would be a confidante, I assume."

"It's just a little thing. The only thing I have to do is to not blab and keep my mouth shut, right?" Arthur said, taking the paper from Kiku and reading. "It's definitely not going to be a problem."

"It _is_ if you are refusing to fill our these forms. It is getting late, and we are going to have our goodbye ceremony in a few days, let alone be at the submission area. It is not just going to be us, you know."

Arthur waited for Kiku to reorganise the letters in a neat pile, then they both went upstairs to prepare for bed.

Tomorrow would definitely be a glimpse into the future they had in the kingdoms of Cards.

* * *

reviews would be appreciated.


	2. Delivery

i do not own the selection nor hetalia. they belong to kiera cass and himuraya hidekazu respectively.

* * *

Kiku definitely wasn't exaggerating when he said that the lines were packed.

By the time Arthur groggily pencilled in the last grade he had received for his magic and Kiku had greeted him in the kitchen with a piece of buttered toast, the usually spacious facility was completely packed. The revolving glass doors were wide open, and a pair of guards clad in Hearts' military uniform were standing outside them and keeping control of the crowd, the red stark in contrast against the brightly painted walls.

The line stretched out near the base of the marble steps that lead up to the main compound. Arthur and Kiku waved hello to a few familiar faces from their weekly magic class, but judging from the various parents and teenagers clutching forms, the crowd was not limited to the candidates assigned to the holding facilities.

They were likely part of the upper class, the ones that were fortunate and wealthy enough to live in the Inner Circle. A girl quite a way up above was holding a pale pink shawl and was dressed in an intricate purple skirt, and her mother seemed to be holding a paper and talking to her harshly. Another boy was dressed very smartly, straightening his hat before he strode up the steps and snapped his phone closed, a luxury that was limited to residents of the Inner Circles only.

"Do you think they've separated the lines like they did last time?" Arthur asked as they came near to the end of the line, jogging up the stairs.

"It would probably partition near the beginning," Kiku reasoned, sounding a little breathless. "There seems to be a lot more this time than they had last time around."

"Are we even near the end of the line yet? Why do you think there's more people-" Arthur began, but he crashed straight into a girl right in front of them, who whipped around almost immediately.

Her ice-blue eyes were striking, and she pushed away her platinum blonde hair as she watched him getting up critically.

"We have reached the end of the line," Kiku concluded sheepishly.

"Hi, would you punks like to explain yourselves?" she snapped.

She was pretty in appearance, her hair loosely tied together and secured with a dark ribbon and she was wearing a black dress, but the severe expression took all those thoughts right out of Arthur's head.

"Um, sorry, Miss-"

"Natalya," she replied frostily. "I'm assuming you're one of those kids from the holding facilities."  
"That would be correct," Kiku said, desperately trying to rectify the solution before Arthur started squaring up for a fight as well. "We are sorry that we disturbed you, we were just a little hurried to sign up."  
"Is it because you're signing up for the Spades Deciding, like almost all of the other rich kids in the area? There's this girl up front, calls herself Marianne," she muttered in response as Arthur brushed off some dust from his coat and quickly mumbled an apology. "Thinks she's destined to be the next Queen of Spades."

"I'm applying for Spades, yes, but Kiku here is going for the Hearts Kingdom. I'm Arthur, by the way. Pleasure to meet you." Arthur said, offering his hand so that she could give him hers.

"Oh, the pleasure is all mine," she snarked right back, instead taking his hand in a tight grip and shaking it firmly. "Spades, as well."

As they got closer and closer to the area where the queue split into the people from the holding facilities and the people who had to pay an additional fee to get into the Deciding, Kiku would not stop frantically checking his form.

"What if we have missed something? I am sure that you placed the fact that I speak more than one language on the list of my improved attributes, but still-" he fretted. The two of them had decided to fill out the other's redeeming qualities and attributes in order to get a fair bias. Arthur still worried that his best friend had embellished him to be some sort of magical god.

"Kiku, I definitely do not pour as much time into reading as I did before," Arthur complained as he straightened the paper. "I'm not some sort of scholar! And singing? I never even took any of my classes-"

"Aren't you supposed to be prepared?" Natalya had turned around to face them, perching on her cardboard box as they were waiting for the queue to start partitioning. "And anyway, do you really think they'll look at the application forms at length? There's got to be-I don't know, probably thousands of us and they're supposed to ask only thirty of us to come down to the palace in the end."  
"But still, if it is not neat then it does not suit standards." Kiku said, squinting amidst the awful, lashing sunlight.

"Some people are only just starting to fill in their forms," Arthur remarked, his gaze flicking around to see a boy furiously scribbling on his pale green form for Clubs while simultaneously watching the line beginning to shift.

"Yeah. But a lot of people have definitely put a lot of thought into their appearances, because come on, would you slog through three thousand applications or look at their pictures?"  
"Is that why the people from the Inner Circles have come dressed as fancily as they possibly could have?" Kiku said, taking a quick glance at the people around them. Someone, clearly from a holding facility, was clad in simple jeans and a t-shirt, and a girl next to him was speaking with him, wearing a pretty but plain summer dress. A few spots behind her, a girl was examining her nails with a bored expression on her face, but she was lathered in makeup and her dress was nothing farther from dull. Another boy, presumably her brother with their matching hair colours, was dolled up in a suit from head to toe, with smartly pressed shoes and a pale red tie, probably meant to represent the colours of the kingdom which he was competing from.

They shuffled along in mostly silence as the minutes progressed on, Arthur and Kiku finally agreeing to put away their pens as the line began to split.

As they watched the next five people be escorted into different lines, Natalya faced them again, putting down her cardboard box and her application in one swift movement.

"…who's the one that's going to Spades?" she asked.

"That would be me," Arthur said quickly, raising one thick eyebrow. "Was there something that you would like?"  
"Nothing in particular," she said, the phrase incredibly choppy in itself. "It's just that things can get brutal in there. And I know we've known each other for what-a grand total of six minutes?"  
"Forty seven minutes, to be exact," Kiku said.

"Yeah, that. Anyway…should we make a deal? I promise I won't be bitchy or behave in a shitty way towards you, and you do the same. I already have enough work on my plate trying to charm this guy I don't know, and I really _don't_ need a fight. I have other priorities. _So_ …is that okay with you?" she said, extending her hand for a handshake and an agreement.

 _But I don't know you_ , Arthur reasoned with himself in his mind. _How do I know you won't backstab me later on?_

 _But again, it's not like I really have anything to lose. I just have to try to get Heracles out of the military, help Matthew as best as you can, and then start a life outside the holding facilities. Then I can pursue that bookshop I've always wanted._

"It's a deal," he said, taking her cold hand and shaking it firmly. "Anyway, it's not like there will be anything to fight over. The prince isn't really anything to fight over, right?""Well, you haven't met him yet," Natalya said as the line began to shift and she began to be directed to another section. "Who knows, you could be completely head over heels for the guy in less than a week."

"Well, you haven't met him yet," Natalya said as the line began to shift and she began to be directed to another section. "Who knows, you could be completely head over heels for the guy in less than a week."  
Arthur grimaced at the thought, but wished her good luck as she walked away and did the same.

 _As if. I'm not some lovesick schoolgirl, after all. I'll be lucky if I make it past the first day!_

* * *

"Papers, please," the official said, and Arthur scuffled around in his pocket for the documents as Kiku handed them over in a neat pile.

"Which kingdom?" he asked, and Kiku replied in a swift fashion, resting his hand on the tall contraption that stood in front of the towering glass panels that led into another room.

"Mr Honda," he said, peering at his information before handing it back to him, "You'll be in Aisle Three for Hearts, Window Eight. You will be screened further there. Have a nice day. Next!"

Kiku disappeared past the glass panel that separated the brightly lit concierge into the other room.  
Arthur handed over his slightly creased forms, twiddling his thumbs nervously as the official motioned for him to place the hand on the smooth surface of the device.

It wasn't a new concept since there had been scans ever since he had come to the holding facilities when he was eight. At least it was better than tracker devices directly embedded into the candidates' skins-at least, that were the rumours of the holding facilities in Clubs and Diamonds. As usual, the surface was cold, and he felt a shudder run through his skin as he felt the machine's rays scan the surface of his hand.

"Cleared," the official continued in a gruff voice, lifting his violet gaze to meet his. "Mr Kirkland, which kingdom?"  
"Spades," Arthur replied, before he could switch to some other kingdom, knowing his stupid mind.

The official acknowledged this with a grunt, speaking his mouthpiece while he examined his papers (again). Arthur snuck a quick glance behind his shoulder at the crowd as he awkwardly shifted his weight from side to side.

"Very well, Aisle Thirteen for Spades, window number one. Have a nice day-Next!" he bellowed, handing him back his information before he was ushered away into another corridor.

It was drafty, his footsteps echoing as he made his way down the long and narrow pathway. It opened to another large hall, but it was darker, with only a few small rectangles serving as the windows, letting in minimal light. The room was colder than the hallway, the largest source of light being the multiple booths packed around the wall.

There was a large seating area, filled with velvet chairs that a crowd of people were sitting on, candidates and parents alike. Arthur spotted Kiku after a few moments due to the poor lighting, and took the seat next to him.

"There is still a while yet to your number," Kiku said as Arthur told him about his seating. "I suppose it is because there are so many candidates for Spades this time around. Mine is soon, though.""I wonder why there aren't as many people coming over to Hearts?"

"I wonder why there aren't as many people coming over to Hearts?"

"Maybe they do not want to form an attachment to the King and then find themselves in a bad situation-" he mused as a girl and her father got up from their seats and went to a blue marked counter. He began to speak again, but he was interrupted by a call of his name and noticed out from the corner of his eye that there was a booth lighting up red.

"Mr Honda," came over the intercom. "Please refer to the LED display for your booth number and your clerk."

"There it is," Kiku said quickly, his gaze moving to the large rectangle that was the display. "We might not be able to get out at the same time, so I will go ahead and buy dinner first. Any requests?"

"Um, bagels will do*."

"Mr Kirkland, may I have your papers, please?"

Arthur took off his waist pouch and placed it on the rusty hook, handing the clerk his papers. He pulled his coat around him tighter, trying to keep his body temperature at a normal state.

"The Spades Deciding, hmm?" he asked, tipping his glasses up further. Arthur nodded quickly in response.

"Not going to blame you, kid. Very nice country, with a sick prince and a cute Ace," the clerk continued, leafing through his information. "Would recommend."  
"…excuse me?" Arthur asked, trying not to sputter. This wasn't how a normal businessperson would react. Calling the prince ill? Even if Arthur had never met him, that was rather disrespectful anyway! And calling the Ace cute-that was a bizarre statement in its own!

"Yeah. Cute Ace, what about it? Ha, you fancy kids are so fun to mess around with. I asked Kat to come over with me, too bad she said it didn't feel right. You guys are a hoot!" he laughed.

"Kat?" Arthur questioned, trying to peek through the blinds. Who on Earth was this person and why-

Wait, that name. _Haven't I heard her name somewhere around? I swear I have._

"Yeah, kid, unless you've been living under a rock, you know who Katya is. Super sweet Joker?"

Arthur's mind was reeling as he processed this information. "Do you _know_ her? As in, personally talk to her?"

The man behind the window sighed, placing down Arthur's papers and hesitating for a moment before he pulled a cord and the blinds went up. They did not go up all the way, but they managed to expose a pair of pale red eyes.

"You could say that I _really_ know her," he smirked, seeing recognition fall into Arthur's eyes.

Because who else could those well known eyes belong to, other than the Joker himself, Gilbert Beilschmidt?

"You're, uh, going have to do a lot of explaining," Arthur said in a low tone, whipping his head from side to side in paranoia.

"That's _exactly_ what I'm going to do now, kid."

* * *

*Tongue in cheek reference to the cancer inducing first draft.


	3. Warp

i do not own the selection nor hetalia. they belong to kiera cass and himuraya hidekazu respectively.

* * *

"Your Highness, can I just ask why in Duchess' name are you-" Arthur began, but was cut off by the Joker ducking his head lower, thus revealing the tousled silver-white hair that everyone was most familiar with.

"You don't go spouting that title in front of literally everyone," Gilbert grumbled, but other than that did not seem too angry. "You think it's a good idea to have this gossip in here, or someone that's a little more secluded?"  
"...first of all, what on Earth are you going to talk with me about? And second of all, how are you going to get us out of this packed place without someone suspecting or hearing? I'm only listening if it's anything meaningful, knowing your antics."

The younger Joker's reputation wasn't as nearly as sound as the elder-he had been suspected many a time for his pranks and his jokester antics that had caused mischief around all four Kingdoms.  
"To answer your prissy questions," Gilbert replied with an irritated twitch of his famous feathered ears that he could now see, "The first one is about that cute Ace I was talking about. Second-well, watch and learn."

Before Arthur could even open his mouth to question and protest further, the hall around them fell completely still and silent, like a veil was completely covering it.

Arthur turned to face Gilbert, but his movements were slightly slowed, as if he were moving in water.

Gilbert mouthed…something, and Arthur started following him. Unless his command was _don't follow me and keep your distance_ , following him seemed like the most rational thing to do. In such a place, such a weird surrounding, there really wasn't anything else to do, anyway.

Arthur felt that he was physically moving as fast as he could but the frame definitely didn't make it seem that way as even his movement was distorted. To his shock, the walls started to warp, bending slightly, and the people started to slowly bend over and twist as well. He tried to speak, but no words came out. Gilbert kept on moving, not making a single sound or a single movement other than moving as quickly as he could.

He must have started physically panicking and Gilbert must have sensed or seen this, because as soon as they both made their way into an isolated room, their surroundings started to resume normality.

"Yo," Gilbert panted, his ears dangling loosely and sounding exhausted, "You okay there, punk?"  
"Of course I wasn't!" Arthur said quickly, but his voice shook all the same. "How on Earth did you _do_ that?"  
"Comes with being a Joker," he rasped, shuffling inside his jacket for a pair of thin nylon gloves. "But it's still at the courtesy of the awesome me."

"Are you all right?" Arthur asked. "You seem rather out of breath.

"Nah, it's nothing that difficult. Just takes the wind outta my sails, uh, occasionally." Gilbert said, sinking onto the floor and pulling his gloves on.

He waited until the Joker had regained his breath, and joined him on the floor, waiting for him to speak.

The room that they had both stumbled in was dimly lit but fitted with a porthole near the ceiling, allowing a small ray of light to beam into the room. The walls and floor were completely stripped clean, and the room was completely empty save for two aged chairs.

"Where is this place?"

"Think this is an examining room, but no matter," Gilbert said quickly, shoving his hands behind his back where they weren't visible. "Let's get down to talking. It's about Matthew. Has your little friend been keeping you updated?"  
Assuming that his 'little friend' was Kiku, he nodded in response.

"So, uh, here's the thing," Gilbert said, and Arthur noted that it was one of the first times he had heard the usually confident sounding Joker-his appearances on television included-sound nervous.

"Our relationship isn't the easiest on the planet to manage, and I don't want to get into the good stuff, heh. But it has to be a secret-guessing you know why already?"  
"Um…no," Arthur said quietly. "I was assuming that it was called an affair for a reason."  
The Joker paused for a minute then shook his head quickly, resting his head against the wall.

"Then I gotta say that it's no problem. Just the fact that it's supposed to be secret should stick. Okay?" Gilbert said, to which Arthur nodded his agreement. He suspected that Gilbert had more reasons, but he thought it would be impolite to prod further.

"Did Mattie give you my letters?"

"Letters…?" Arthur trailed off before remembering the small pile of tiny yellow mail that had come in with the postage. "Um, no, my friend Kiku was the one that Matthew kept in touch with."  
Gilbert did a double take, suddenly sitting up straight and giving him a long stare before he burst into loud laughter and ran a hand through his scruffy hair, his tufted ears twitching irritably in response.

"Oh, god, wrong kid!" he spluttered. "Sorry for wastin' your time, but if you don't have the mail, I can't really help you more than that."

"So what you're saying is that you basically froze time for nothing?" Arthur hissed, starting to feel a little irritated. He wasn't even bothering to keep his voice down!

"It's not _as_ simple as just freezing time, but yeah. Tell you what-" Gilbert started to reply, sounding a little embarrassed, but they were interrupted by a sound at the end of the corridor.

His red eyes sharpened for just for a moment as he pulled his wrists up in a flowing motion, and before Arthur knew it they were being magically suspended in their room again.

He opened the door, Arthur following as quickly as the warp would allow him. They passed a person with a handful of papers, presumably the person who made the noise, and a mother and her daughter, both clutching bags and both looking very annoyed. There was no one else in the corridor, and Arthur only got to see the longer effects of the sensation when they made their ways back to their former seats and Gilbert shut his eyes and clenched and unclenched his fists. Only when he removed his gloves did their surroundings begin to shift back to normal. People stopped shaking and fading and continued on with their business, and the seconds hand on the clock began to chirpily tick away again.

"There, wasn't so bad, right?" Gilbert panted, his grip harder on the wood than it had been for a moment. "Should we just get to what you came for?"

"That sounds like a good idea," Arthur said breathlessly, the adrenaline from the warp starting to slow down.

Gilbert yanked down the blinds in the booth once more.

* * *

"You are back a little later than I expected," Kiku said as Arthur turned on the landing lights and locked the door, the bright light in stark contrast compared to the darkening sky.

"Sorry, there were…complications involved in the process, shall I say? I hope you saved me dinner." Arthur said, hurriedly removing off his waist pouch on top of their dresser.

"Of course," Kiku said, lifting a plastic wrapped bagel from the fridge. "I did a little bit of dusting while you were away."

"Thanks a lot, I'll do the vacuuming next week." This was where Arthur knew that Kiku had taken a lot less time for his application; his best friend was terribly precise with their home maintenance and if one checked their house after his spree they would easily pass the white glove test.

"If there will be one. Did you happen to meet Gilbert?"  
Green eyes met brown as Arthur nodded, and Kiku's expression shifted into understanding as he shuffled in a cabinet and pulled out an unmarked envelope.

"I forgot to alert to you that he might be trying to seek out either of us," Kiku said sheepishly, "But he stopped by around twenty minutes ago and I gave him the post. I apologize, however, for not letting you know beforehand-"

"But you took care of him and that's more than enough for my satisfaction," Arthur chided, taking a bite of his bagel. "If you're fine with…this is a little tougher than usual," he cut off before he finished the sentence.

"Well, it is not my fault that you were so delayed whilst you were getting home." Kiku said amusedly. "Of course, if it had not gone stale I would have worried about the quality of the food."

"Mmph," Arthur mumbled through his mouthful, "Don'f be like that."

The two of them chatted lightly before they decided to retire to bed as the digital clock blipped to ten p.m.

Arthur turned off the lights as Kiku brushed his teeth in their small, squeaky clean bathroom, and the boys settled down for bed, the crickets chirping merrily as Kiku yanked down the blinds.

Arthur could hear the other's upbeat music as he reached for his headphones, wanting to push them into the tiny musical chip he-

"Kiku, where is my music chip?"

"Did you not leave it downstairs?" his best friend replied, already sounding sleepy. "You are the self dubbed king of losing things, right?"

"Don't remind me," Arthur sighed. "I'm going to open the lights, okay? In three-"

Kiku yelped as they were flicked on regardless, and he curled into his thick blanket, shivering as Arthur drowsily let his bare feet touch the cold tile and shuffled around for his bag.

He'd forgotten where it was until he stumbled onto the velvety object and got hold of it.

"We need an organizing system," Kiku hissed as Arthur turned off the lights again and plugged in his pods. "I do not want you blinding me with those lights again, please!"  
"I'm doing my best!" Arthur said. "I'll figure out something, sorry."

He fell asleep to the first four bars of his classical music.

* * *

reviews are still appreciated :)


	4. Palace

tis the rewrite oui

as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.

* * *

"It's getting late."

Alfred raised his head to peer around the corner as Yao patted him on his shoulder, making him jump.

"Your Highness, your brother is already preparing to go to sleep," the Jack of Spades chided, tugging on the prince's ear gently. "You have a Deciding to plan, young man, and staring out into the gardens won't get those candidates chosen."

"Hmph, Mattie has it easy-and Yao, didn't we agree to not use the title?" Alfred said, but relented at Yao's words.

The Jack accepted this with a nod, taking one look at the gardens before walking with the prince, placing one hand on his back."Isn't it moving a little too fast?" Alfred asked, not dragging his gaze away to face Yao. "I mean, it's not coming soon, right?"

"Isn't it moving a little too fast?" Alfred asked, not dragging his gaze away to face Yao. "I mean, it's not coming soon, right?"

"I would say it is," Yao said with an expression that told of his many years dealing with the royal twins. "A time span of two weeks seems close in my book."  
Alfred gave a start at this, but he shook his head childishly in reply.

"That's totally not near at all! Have the…things even come in yet?" he gestured awkwardly.

"First batch has already," Yao smiled, stifling a laugh at the teen's horrified expression. "It's _all_ here for you to run your grubby hands through.""My hands are not

"My hands are not _grubby_!" Alfred protested. "And come on, can't this wait until morning?"

"Not if you keep on putting your sleep off, young man. Even your brother's brushing his teeth," Yao said briskly, leading him to his conjoined bedroom with his brother's on the left. "Sometimes I wish you cou-"

Alfred looked up at him, but his mouth shut tightly into a thin line and he shook out his thin ponytail.

"What were you gonna say, Yao?" he asked in a quieter, more subdued tone.

"No matter, Alfred." Yao replied quickly, ushering him into his bedroom. "But ask your maid to come for me before you go to sleep, please."

"Consider it done?" Alfred said in a quizzical tone, but smiled at his maid who quickly bowed and scurried to the bathroom to prepare his bath.

Whatever Yao wanted him to see could wait after his bubbles.

* * *

"I must say, Your Highness," Yao said, stifling a chuckle, "That could easily have been one of the longest baths I've heard you take. Or was it that your maid was slow in getting to me?"

"Of course not!" Alfred said quickly, pulling down his hood, the lumpy bear ears meshing with each other. "My maid hasn't done anything wrong. I was just tired, after all."

"Have the advisers been giving you a difficult time again?" Yao asked, frowning as he took a seat. "You really should tell me if anything like the meeting last Wednesday happens again when I'm not here."

"Yes, Yao," Alfred said quietly. After a few moments, the Jack pulled out a new contraption.

It was coloured a metallic silver, and had a slim, circular shape that was cool to the touch when Alfred held it. It was shaped similarly to the small cell phone that Yao occasionally carried around with him in the palace.

"This is so cool!" Alfred exclaimed, turning it around in his hands in excitement. "Uh, what is it?"

"Since I don't think it's the best time for you to be walking around the palace at such an hour, I decided to bring the handheld port instead of us having to slouch over to the port room. You won't be able to choose until we have all the entries, and I'm sure you'll be wanting to ask Matthew for the help.""So…this is just for me to look at?" Alfred asked as he took the port from Yao's gloved hands.

"So…this is just for me to look at?" Alfred asked as he took the port from Yao's gloved hands.

"Yes, well-it's been around ever since your great grandfather, I'm told. They used to have every single application mailed straight to the palace, but to save resources now they just enter it into a database for you to paw through. And- _don't_ touch that, Alfred," he said exasperatedly as the prince jabbed at the 'select' button on a redhead's profile, "That's not available until Sunday, when the last entries come in. And that button's not something to be taken lightly."

"How many do I get to choose?" Alfred asked, his hands scuttling around to try to get a feel of the new interface.

"Thirty. You can go back to the desktop here," Yao said, Alfred handing him the port and demonstrating, "To see a wider overview of twenty to thirty applicants, you can just go here, but if you want to zoom in, you click the picture. Got the hang of it yet?""Yao, I'm very good with electronics, unlike you," Alfred smiled, not wanting to take a moment off teasing his guardian. "Remember the last time you tried to send a message to Clubs and it ended up with Hearts instead?"

"Yao, I'm very good with electronics, unlike you," Alfred smiled, not wanting to take a moment off teasing his guardian. "Remember the last time you tried to send a message to Clubs and it ended up with Hearts instead?"

"Yes, well…" Yao trailed off, looking slightly embarrassed. "I prefer postage to the new-fangled things everyone seems to be trying to use. There's something much more valuable with a letter than a little message on a port. Besides, the ports are far too big to be of a convenience. Until we can make them do more things and make them smaller, we're going to have to keep going with your penmanship lessons."

Alfred huffed and stuck out his bottom lip in a gesture that the Jack was familiar with since childhood, and then went back to looking at the pictures.

"Is there a number of people for each Kingdom? I mean, do I hafta choose a bunch before the system lets me move on or something?"

"Alfred, these aren't like one of the games you read about when you were supposed to be brushing up on history. You don't have to choose a set number, but it's a good thing to have an even spread. But the thing with Hearts…you know what," Yao said hastily, looking at Alfred's dismayed expression, "Just go with your instinct, I should say. After all, it'll be over quicker if you find a group of people you really like instead of people you really can't stand."

"…that was what the advisers were arguing about last week."

"What?" Yao said, his gaze whipping around to meet Alfred's. His tone was calm, but Alfred could see behind his cool brown gaze to see the fury in his eyes.

"Something about a handful of people that they'd already picked out for me…" Alfred said in a small voice. "They were pretty insistent, but I managed to, um, hold them off until the next meeting."  
Yao huffed angrily, running a hand through his hair before facing Alfred and placing his hands on his shoulders.

"Look, Alfred, if I could make them stop I would have already done so. But only a Queen or a King can put them down, and until you've chosen your queen we can't do anything about that. But you must stay strong, my boy, while I do everything I can. We'll start with attending each Meeting together if my schedule allows me." Yao said, closing his eyes for a moment before patting Alfred on the back and sitting back down on the armchair. "Duchess knows how they even got the list before I had a chance to show you. They've ruined the surprise of the process."

"No, I didn't really remember anything about them," Alfred rushed to reassure his guardian, fumbling with the device. "But I would totally appreciate your help."  
"After the petition I should have excluded them completely, but as a Jack there's not that much that's in my power. I'll have a word with Matthew, since a Jack and an Ace is still slightly better than just one person of the Primary Suit."

"What about the part about queens having to bear a child before…?" Alfred began nervously, but Yao shook his head and waved his hand dismissively.

"That, well, I will try to undo as soon as possible. Since you are interested in both genders, my boy, it'll be a little harder for a male to bear a child. So if that ends up happening, I will arrange for the circumstances as best as I can."

"But doesn't that mean I'll have to try marrying a girl for better chance?" Alfred said, powering the device back on and swiping haphazardly on the screen, past pages of smiling faces. His feet started tapping on his dark blue carpet in nervousness, and his fingers moved more frantically.

"Don't think about the advisers for now." Yao soothed, folding his hands together in his lap. "With the Fates on our side, they can be kept in control for now. Because after all, the only person that can choose the true Queen of Spades is you, Alfred."

Alfred looked up at Yao, who was rising to leave the room. The Jack of Spades looked fondly at his bright blue eyes, and he couldn't but help think of the eight year old that wandered into his office and tugged on his robes and begged him for a bedtime story, the fifteen year old that had squealed in excitement when his dog had been presented to him as a present, and now, well...

"I'd actually thought you'd never grow up to be as mature as you are now." Yao said, half to himself.

"Have I done you proud?" For the first time in the whole night, Alfred's eyes carried a lining of hope, and there was a pang in Yao's heart for the eighteen year old-his posture had been stiffened, his voice not quite a tenor but not the high pitched laughter that the Jack still remembered-that had been forced to grow up far too fast.

"Of course," Yao said sincerely, Alfred getting to his feet and following him to the door. "You're very strong, my boy, and I know that you'll do very well in your Deciding. I have faith."  
Alfred cracked into a childish smile, which made Yao relax as well.

By the Fates would Alfred never truly change, and remain himself against all odds.

"Goodnight, Alfred-no, it's all right, you can keep it for tonight," Yao said quickly, pressing the port into his hands. "Do some research tonight, but don't sleep too late. There are more coming in the next few days, so please be prepared."

"Goodnight, Yao!" Alfred said, and did a quick bow before he closed the door and watched the Jack go back to his office, no doubt.

Drawing his curtains closed and peering worriedly at his dog Hero's empty bed, he leapt onto his bed and powered on the port, letting his breathing relax and his legs stretch out as he scrolled through the names and the faces of his future Chosen.

* * *

The next morning, Alfred bid good morning to his maid, skipped out on his morning bath and started to prepare after he ushered his maid out for some fresh air. He let his fingers trail across his massive wardrobe and went for a loose shirt and deep blue pants for the quiet, summery morning. Putting Yao's port in the back of his pants, he wiggled his feet into a pair of simple canvas shoes before making his way to breakfast.

"Good morning, Your Highness," his butler said, smiling as Alfred sat on the chair right in front of the large dining table. He smiled back awkwardly as he asked for his usual breakfast, then fidgeted with the cloth on the table as he waited.

"Orange or apple juice?" another maid asked, offering him two glasses. He took the one with the apple juice inside, taking a long, hearty sip before he looked up and realized that the maid was still there, patiently waiting for him to finish. Gulping the rest of it down quickly, he asked for another glass, feeling self-conscious.

"Good morning, Alfred," his brother Matthew said, sliding into the chair next to him. That would usually have been reserved for the princess or queen, but since there was neither Matthew-being a full fledged Ace-took the spot for the time being.

"'Morning, Mattie!" he said, just relieved to have a distraction from the luxuries of royal life. "What's up?"

"I just finished talking with Queen Elizabeta," Matthew replied, waving shyly to a maid for his usual morning breakfast of pancakes. "She was thinking about adding a few more exports to try to improve our trading and things. All in a day's work, eh?"

"Yeah, I guess," Alfred said. Quickly turning his attention to his steaming plate of bacon and eggs, trying his best to not snort at his brother's horrified expression as he scarfed them down.

* * *

As the day turned from dull to dreary as rain came upon the palace mid morning, Alfred decided to spend some time with his brother after trying to tend to the horses and being unceremoniously shooed off. Of course, Matthew had his own work to do, but with such a important task at hand he felt like he would swallow his pride for once and ask for assistance.

"Come in." Even before he had finished his sentence, Alfred came charging in the room, noting his brother's sharp inhale and his back suddenly straightening.

"What's wrong, bro?"

"Nothing, I just thought you were Yao," Matthew said, putting down his pen. "He's prepared some documents I need to look over later. What do you need?"

Matthew had started sounding busier than ever since the last Solstice taking place in the sweltering heat of the early summer. He had asked both him and Yao about this, but they had both dismissed him, saying that they had other things to attend to. Of course, Alfred being Alfred, he had snuck into Matthew's small office and searched, but only managed to get away scot free with a tiny bit of time manipulation.

"Uh, you know about the Deciding?" Alfred blurted, making sure to shut the door behind them with a fling of his hand, sending the door flying.

"…can you just stop trying to break my door, first of all? I just managed to bring it back to its normal spot, and I had a pretty bad headache after," Matthew said irritably.

Unfortunately for him-and _very_ fortunately for Alfred-his magic would never measure up to his brother's. Magic was dictated from birth, and due to a bitter six minutes Matthew had been declared the Ace and had been forced to watch his brother leap and bound in front of him as the future King. Of course, that meant lonely days sitting in front of the fire as their parents watched proudly as Alfred started levitating and slamming objects into each other, nights where Alfred smirked at him with his taller height and a series of books that Matthew knew he would chuck out the moment Yao's back was turned.

"Yeah, okay, whatever," Alfred said, pulling up a chair and flashing his brother a bright smile. "So can you help me with this choosing thing? I don't know what to look for in a person."

"That's what you said after you decided to try to romance my maid and caused me lots of embarrassment, eh?" Matthew teased, but pushed away from the desk so he had more space. "Magic word is please, brother."

Alfred grumbled and fidgeted as Matthew watched amusedly, fiddling with his watch as a reminder that Alfred didn't have all day. When Alfred did swallow his ego and asked for help, Matthew thrust his fist into the air in an uncharacteristic declaration of success and whooped loudly.

"Okay, okay, I get it! Here's the stuff," Alfred said, shoving the port into Matthew's chest.

"Isn't this a brand new thing that Yao mentioned?" Matthew questioned, turning the object around in his hands.

"Yeah, it's a handheld port. That's how I'm choosing?"

"They haven't all come in, right?" Matthew said knowledgeably, tapping on his calendar that was adorned with bears. "You should just probably laze off on your fat ass by then."

"Hey, I ain't fat!" Alfred protested. "And how do you know all about my schedule?"

"More like you should know more about me," Matthew retorted, but noted that Alfred had brought his chair around to directly face him and had quickly composed himself, peering closely at the screen. "But anyway, this thing can't take notes. Bring some paper, and we'll see which ones you fancy for now."

The two brothers spent the afternoon going through the applicant system, which had one new batch coming in every other hour. They had sectioned off the candidates into the four kingdoms, although the system did have issues and did not section off the ones that came from the holding facilities and the ones that didn't.

They hardly noticed the Jack's absence from the castle until he joined them for a late dinner, all breathless and flushed as he put down his usual stack of documents and asked for a bowl of soup before Alfred bombarded him with questions and Matthew dug up the piece of paper to show him.

"I'm sorry, boys," Yao said after he asked the maids to leave the trio alone. "There were a few issues with the military drafting. We've just received our military assignment. I trust that you're ready to speak tomorrow night, Matthew? The speech isn't too complicated, I hope."

"N-no, Yao, it's completely fine. I haven't had much time to run through it today specifically, because Alfred needed some help with getting through selecting a few candidates." Matthew said, showing him the paper. "We did a little research into what and who he'd pick."

"Well, nothing wrong with a little head start. Good work, you two." Yao praised, putting down his spoon. "We only have a week between announcing the candidates and the Deciding actually starting, so we have until the Broadcast for you to choose, Alfred. Do you need help with other duties then?"

Alfred, who had been deep in thought and nursing his chicken leg, jumped as Yao's cool gaze fixed onto him. Loosening his tie, he nodded readily.

"It's not like I really have a lot of duties, anyway." he muttered under his breath as he bid goodnight to his brother and guardian. Going up the stairs into his bedroom, he paused before deciding to wander around the vast halls.

Judging from the day, there was so many things going on for the two of them that Alfred could not help feeling excluded. Of course, their work didn't sound fun at all, but at least it gave some _purpose_ to their day. For him, however, he was just stuck as a crown prince before he could find his princess. Then the job, the responsibilities, the _power_ …it would be all his.

Matthew was already an Ace. Yao had been the Jack ever since he and his twin had been born. He still came across articles and books talking about his parents' glorious rule as king and queen before they had both died, and how they had brought Spades to become a more prosperous kingdom than it had been before their joint reign. What kind of legacy would that serve for him to live up to?

With a pang, Alfred touched his cheek, remembering how his mother used to kiss his chubby face goodnight and how his father's beard used to brush against his rosy cheeks as he told him jokes. Now it had mellowed out into a more handsome face and a strong jaw, but what would he not give to have it softer and more rounded like it was in his childhood. Far from the mould of being perfect, like he was always seen, how he was always shown in the media.

Dithering in the first floor south corridor, he paused for a moment before deciding to turn west and go up the large staircase back into the path of his room.

After all, he had a week. A week, to make his life change for the better.

* * *

reviews would be appreciated.


	5. Meetings

thank god more rewrites are coming out

i don't own aph or the selection, that's by hidekaz himaruya and kiera cass to their own.

* * *

"This is still _too_ early in the morning for something like this," A girl complained, and Arthur's head turned around.

The place was completely packed, the square that Kiku and Arthur walked past almost weekly for their checkups. It was usually empty, save for a few couples having partners or tourists from other countries walking around, but today it was packed.

It was the week after the information had been sent in and Arthur's encounter with Gilbert. The two of them had tried to go around their normal business, but all classes had been cancelled for them since they had entered that year. They had thought of going to the housing blocks of the last Holding Facility, the one that housed the twenty year olds, but it was completely abandoned. Kiku had attributed this to the fact that they were in the last year of eligibility and were probably struggling to make ends meet since they usually would not be picked due to their age. If a twenty year old was chosen, many people attributed it to the fact that they usually paid their way in instead of being in the holding facilities.

Interestingly enough, they seemed to be divided this year since they seemed to be held for the position of entering the Deciding, of course. Even in the beginning, it had been no secret that many rich families from the Inner Circles bought the forms so that they could register for the Deciding, passing screening that was included in the holding facilities. Nowadays, it was a legal matter, but it was no longer considered taboo. However, some form of stigma still remained for the parents that paid in excess of three hundred _thousand_ gold to get a fast track form that basically put their children on par with the people that had lived in the holding facilities their whole lives, such as Arthur and Kiku. Arthur's family got fifty thousand gold per year due to his loss as a breadwinner for his family and his services to the crown, and that amount was astronomical in his perspective.

Some of the richer families living in the Inner Circles had set up picnic blankets in their partition, chatting amicably with their son or daughter. Some of them were dressed in extravagant clothes as if they already lived in the palace, and as Arthur and Kiku walked past them he caught a glance of a woman handing her sons some powder and a brush, which they proceeded to dust on their cheeks. The same was happening all over the square while they quietly shuffled off to a seating area that was roped off from the families. As Arthur watched, he noticed that the number of those eligible were a lot less than last year's selection preparing to go into service for the crown.

 _Perhaps it's because the opportunity is just for us who've been selected at birth?_ Arthur questioned, wiggling his toes in his shoes in discomfort. He had been pressed into a suit that was blue to match the country he was opting with, and on his left Kiku was wearing a red one, to represent Hearts.

The girl next to him was wearing blue as well, her dress pulled tightly to the side to accompany her sullen expression. With a hint of surprise, Arthur remembered her face as Natalya, the same girl he had run into the day that they had to apply.

"Er, hello," he said, and she turned herself to face him. Her eyes lost a little of that hostility, but her response was clipped all the same. Arthur felt even more awkward, but as Kiku was currently staring at the wealthy behind them, he decided to try to resume a conversation with her.

…wait, if she hadn't been living in the holding facilities all this time, why was she not down there with the others?

"Well, to answer your question, it's none of your business." she said, and Arthur noticed too late that he had spoken the question out loud.

"I'm sorry, I was just curious," he said quickly, averting his gaze for a moment. "Is our…is our agreement still on?"

Natalya examined him with her cool gaze, her nails resting on her cheek for a moment before she nodded.

"I don't even know if we'll still get in or not," she said, her look not wavering. "Are you _that_ sure about our alliance?"

"I think that was more of a truce, but seeing the people here," he trailed off, doing a quick glance of the people behind them. "I don't exactly want to be unceremoniously kicked out."

"Hmm. Here's what I think - those spoilt brats that actually _do_ get in, they'll be gone in a week. They don't really know how to survive in the palace, after all."

"What do you mean?" Arthur asked confusedly. "As much as I know, the only thing you'll have to do is impress the prince, make him fall in love with you, and so forth…"

" _Tch_ ," she snorted, looking a little bemused. "If it was so simple, there wouldn't need to be a competition in the first place. People have more than one way to get what they want."

At that precise moment, the clock on the stage turned to three pm, the display whirred to life and Arthur was left to ponder at those words.

* * *

T _he Ace of Hearts is a grumpy man,_ Arthur thought as he watched the Ace board the sidewalk that led to the display. His brown hair was a shade darker than his brother's, and his skin held a dark, olive shade that his brother, the Jack of Hearts, did not have. His green eyes narrowed at the crowd, and he got started with a flurry of curses and 'belt up, you brats.' This would have been considered exceptionally rude other than the fact that it was part of Ace Lovino's charm and the audience seemed to soak it up, except for a few parents who covered up their children's ears and glared furiously at him.

"Yeah, yeah. So anyway, I guess you've all seen enough of my ugly face and I'm tired as hell of showing it myself, so let's just get onto the Kingdoms. For this year," he said, taking a break and staring down at a small object clutched tightly in his palm.

"There are three kingdoms - the Clubs, the Hearts and the Spades. All information is in your packet which you should have brought today. So, let's present who has been randomly selected for the Clubs Kingdom!"

Arthur noticed Natalya clench her fists next to him and look away, and he wondered what had gone on between her and the estranged kingdom. He could see a boy from across him grip a green sheet of paper in excitement - no doubt his form - and a light muttering break out amongst the crowd.

"Look at your papers _now_ , please," Lovino continued. "If your number flashes up on the screen in the next, uh ten damn minutes, then that's your cue to go up the stage. Don't be stupid, and get on there as soon as possible. Remember, there's only ten per country this year because Diamonds is not participating at all - Francis, that old piece of _sh_ \- ahem, so don't come running up."

The numbers _91631_ flashed up onto the screen, and behind Arthur he heard a high pitched squeal of a girl. As everyone turned around to look, a green slip of paper was being waved up in the air. As the crowd parted way, she ran up, clad in a bright, emerald dress. She giggled and handed Lovino a piece of paper, which he quickly examined before calling out 'the next number' and pressing a button, causing another number - _17532 -_ to flash up onto the screen.

"What are your numbers?" Kiku hissed under his breath.

" _01310_ ," Arthur hissed in return. "What's yours?"

" _94126_ ," he replied curtly. The two of them turned around and watched slowly as the rest of the Clubs ceremony continued on.

The rest of the table had gone silent after the boy clad in green had been summoned up to the stage, and Arthur noticed very few splotches of green amongst the sea of reds and lots and _lots_ of blues.

"Kiku…I've just realised there's a lot of people wearing blue today. Do you think I'll really be able to get in or will you have to think of a Plan B-" Arthur began to question, but he was interrupted by the Ace again.

"Okay, now that's all sweet 'n dandy. They're off to Clubs. _ANYWHO_ ," he yelled over the annoyed clamours of the parents of the children that had not gotten in (apparently all three of those wanting to go to Clubs had gotten in. Pretty odd.)

"Let's move off to the next most exciting one - the one right at home. Great, no long distance travel needed. Still going to be ten of you."

The two of them watched as the digits on the screen flashed back to _00000_.

Arthur heard Kiku take a long, deep breath next to him. Of course his friend was worried, even though it didn't exactly mean that if he won that he would be married to a guy that he barely knew, but even so. He was entering this whole malarkey just to see if he could help Heracles in any way he could.

And so was he.

"The first number is _61349_ ," Lovino announced, and a girl with a distinctive purple streak in her hair got up from the far right of the table and walked onto the stage, reaching into her pink cardigan and handing him the folded envelope. They shook hands, and she curtsied to him before exiting the stage. Arthur and Kiku politely clapped, as the others did on the table as well.

The second and third numbers belonged to a pair of boys, dressed in smartly pressed suits as they both ran up to give their letters to Lovino. The next two were girls clearly from the Inner Circles judging by their sequinned and jeweled dresses, one of which tucked her black hair behind her ear and giggled before handing it to the Ace, and the other one simply thrust it out to him and twisted her mouth into a scowl to match his own.

"And that's six. We'll be seeing the seventh candidate in just a moment," Lovino continued, casting a glance at the last girl before pushing his thumbs against the strange device. "Ah, damn servers."

"Kiku, do you think you can make a quick switch to Spades?" Arthur hissed hurriedly, taking note of his best friend's urgent expression. "I mean, if you don't get in, I'm not sure if-"

"Goddamn!" Lovino cursed angrily at the stage, and the two boys looked up.

But that was not what held their gaze, as the number _94126_ was flashing up on the screen.

Kiku's hands stilled, and for a moment he seemed to be frozen in his seat in shock until Arthur's initial surprise stopped as well. He reached over and tapped his friend's shoulder, quickly motioning with his green eyes for him to get onto the stage.

"Hurry, you don't want him getting angry," Arthur urged, and with a daze Kiku nodded and quickly got to his feet, amidst clapping on their table. Arthur's gaze followed him as he lifted up the folds of his formal wear, bowed once to Lovino and handed over the neatly folded parcel of his particulars, and then went off left stage, like the others.

Just like that, without a goodbye, they had parted for the first time in years. They even had shared the same classes, let alone the same dorm, and Arthur found himself feeling strangely empty as he watched Kiku's now empty spot.

"I'm just going to guess he's your friend?" Natalya asked next to him, her cool eyes curious, and he could only nod in response, staring back at his thumbs placed squarely on the table.

* * *

The rest of the Hearts selection passed without much incident, other than the connection dipping on the last person which caused another uproar of annoyance – well, mostly from the Ace but some general grumblings – and as the last person, a girl with dark skin and curly hair, curtsied to Lovino and gracefully exited the stage, the square seemed to quiet down. Arthur noticed that a few members, mostly clad in red, were leaving the square, probably disappointed by the result. But he also noticed that at least two thirds of the square were packed by figures clad in blue clothes. There was a _lot_ more competition than he initially thought there was going to be, he thought with a shiver.

"All right, I guess this is the big one tonight. But like everyone else, it's only ten this year. So our first number is _24493_ ," Lovino announced, and there was a quick rush of papers and checking for the five digits.

"Oh," Natalya said next to him, and he quickly turned around to face her. The light blue paper she was holding in her hands had the numbers _24493_ were printed in bold font. "Huh. Guess our deal's on, anyway."

"Wait, but I don't even know if I'll get in-" Arthur began awkwardly, but she had already made her way up to the stage and with an outstretched hand, she handed him her unfolded letter. With a flourish Lovino took it, and she stalked off the stage to the right of the stage when she was gestured, different from the other two kingdoms. Maybe there was something to do with the geographical side of things?

Feeling a little unsettled about Natalya's confidence that he would _indeed_ get into the process, he dug back into his pocket and mulled over the piece of paper. While the next two candidates were called up, one to loud cheers in the sectioned off area, and one to polite claps from his table.

Rereading the _01310_ printed on his page, he turned around to scan his information once more.

 _Okay, my name's correct, they've printed my middle name this time. My age – blimey, am I really that old? Never mind…all right, they've changed my gender from not applicable to male, thank goodness-_

"Please save your little goodbyes for _later_!" Lovino bellowed. His hands were cupped around his mouth and it appeared like he was shouting as normal, but as Arthur looked a little harder it seemed like his cupped hands were almost… _vibrating_?  
Perhaps he was using magic to amplify his voice?

He was so invested in his thoughts that he didn't even catch the seventh number being called out.

"Next – the number of _01310!"_ Lovino called, and Arthur noticed the people sitting next to him pulling out their papers and checking their number. That was a good idea, it…

…Again, neatly inscribed on his paper were the five little numbers. Zero, one, three, one, zero. Arthur's gaze flew open in shock, and he heard Lovino repeat it again, sounding a little more impatient than he had last time. But there was absolutely no mistaking that the number belonged to him.

"Yo, are you deaf or something, dude?" The boy sitting two seats away from him and leaned over his shoulder and was staring at his paper. "That's, uh, your number. You have to go up, man."

…well, with that, all plans of a bluff were immediately called off. Arthur scooped up his sheets and slowly walked up to the podium to clapping from the holding facilities' table and polite clapping from the fenced off area.

"Don't leave me waiting so long, kid," Lovino grumbled, but he thrust out a leather gloved hand anyway. "Papers, you."

Arthur unfurled them, shakily handing them to the Ace as he leafed through them. He removed his glove and placed them on the papers. A few seconds passed, then he tucked it under his arm and slid his glove back on.

"Congrats. Exit's on the…on the right. Carriages will be there to take you off. Now shoo!" he said, and Arthur complied like he had been taught to all his life, bowing quickly before exiting the packed square, still a little dazed and more than overwhelmed.

* * *

"Hey sir, the seventh one's coming!" he heard a call when he went down the steps and came to a stretch of road. Ten extravagant carriages like the Ace had said, laced in rich blue and pulled by idle horses, were waiting. Presumably, six were already filled.

"My lady, please keep it down." A man was standing outside the procession, dressed in blue robes as well. "Sir, what is your given number?"

"Er, _01310_ ," Arthur answered, skipping a beat. The man pulled out a small silver device, one that was the exact same shape and colour to the one that Ace Lovino was holding. With a poised finger, he did a dragging motion on the screen of the device, and after a few moments he snapped it shut and tucked it into his pocket.

"Welcome, Sir Arthur, to the Spades Deciding." he said, his back straightening. "Please alight onto carriage seven, we have an official on call to announce protocol if you need to. Otherwise, there are a section of papers that you may read on the way to the Spades palace to understand what this process requires of you."

Arthur nodded dumbly as he led him to the carriage and helped him get on, even though he tried his best to refuse. The seats were plush and a lighter shade of blue, and he crossed his legs and drew the curtains when the man was gone.

On the seat next to him lay a neat folder, marked with blue and white. Picking it up, he leafed through the contents. There were the standard things such as rules, and a printed copy of some of the basic laws. Most interestingly, there were a section of tips about how to handle the whole process.

 _It is highly advised that you attend to all of the breakfasts, lunches and dinners served instead of taking them in your room. Even though you can eat alone if you wish, most drama and some interactions take place in the dining hall._

"Can't I just hole up in my room and have dinner up there?" Arthur asked himself. Being surrounded in a room of thirty people and the prince while they flirted and giggled instead of actually eating? No _thank you_.

 _If the prince or princess asks for you, at any time and any place, it is highly recommended that you attend to him or her. If they do not know whether they like females or males, it is advised that you ignore this fact and proceed on with the process as normal. As the Deciding goes on, the prince or princess will decide freely, regardless of sexual orientation, as Spades does not discriminate against same sex relationships. If they find out their true orientation they will not restart the Deciding in favour of choosing those exclusive to that gender. This makes the process fairer for all parties involved._

"…good point. I mean, if he turns out to be mysteriously heterosexual*, then that's all my time wasted, then."

"Sir?" he was interrupted by a knocking on his carriage door. "Is there something wrong? Do you need an official on call?"

"A-ah, I'm sorry! There's nothing wrong at all." Arthur yelped, embarrassed. Was he really that loud?

"Talking to himself? Is he crazy or what? Are these the kind of weirdoes I'm going to have to spend the next few months with?" he heard a girl grumble outside, and he heard the carriage creak behind him. She must be number eight…or nine? Given the speed of the process, number ten could be on the carriages by now.

He twisted his mouth into a scowl, and wished he could retaliate. Placing the folder back onto his lap, he was about to put the paper back in until he noticed a sentence, printed smaller at the bottom of the sheet.

 _Do try to not deny the prince or princess of anything they ask of you. It was a bad idea._

A chill ran down his back as he read it. What did they mean? Were they suggesting that they had done it before with the use of the word _was_?

His thoughts were rudely interrupted (again) with the commotion up front. All of a sudden, his carriage was moving, and he was left to wallow in the fact that he, of all people, had managed to enter the Deciding.

 _Oh, bollocks. Oh, bollocks indeed._

* * *

*hahahahahahahaha

 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	6. Hearts

**_20/3/2016 If you are new to this story, please look to Chapter 26 for the latest information about editing._**

This chapter also starts up a very small part of the Hearts arc, there's something I'd like to explore with the backstory but I haven't quite thought of it, so we'll see!

 _Toris-_ Lithuania

 _Feliks_ -Poland

 _Scarlet_ -nyo!China

 _Sophia_ -nyo!Austria

As always, I do not own _Hetalia_ nor _The Selection_. They belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and Kiera Cass respectively.

* * *

Kiku had already zipped on his scarlet jumpsuit for the night, his hands already preoccupied with thumbing through his comic. A cup of steaming green tea was sitting on his bedside table, his glasses rimmed firmly on his nose and his legs crossed elegantly.

Finishing the last page of his book, he folded the book neatly and reached for another one, his fingers catching on the hilt of the camera strap in his duffel bag, placed on the foot of the bedside table. The touch set off a set of embarrassing memories the teenager would have not liked to remember…

The day had started off weirdly enough, Kiku striking up a timid conversation with the brown haired boy, whose name was revealed to be Toris, and his friend, a boy named Feliks. The trio had stuck together through the trip, in which Feliks blabbered on about random topics and Toris pitched in from time to time politely, while Kiku was feverishly taking photos of the brief trip, inspired by the stunning sights, only pausing to answer a question posed directly at him, and apologizing feverishly, to which both boys reassured him that it was fine, and please, to stop apologizing, which naturally, drew out another flustered apology.

They had disbanded when they were allowed to roam the palace grounds for a few hours as a self induced tour, where Kiku had allowed himself to wander from his newly minted acquaintances to find new places to take pictures for his photo album. On the side, he was hoping to catch a glimpse of Heracles, who he was convinced was lurking in the palace walls, waiting to catch him alone.

The latter didn't have any luck, but he found several beautiful spots to take snapshots of, including the regal throne room, draped with luscious red velvet, and the glorious gardens, rows and rows of roses that were particularly red. He'd joined up with one of the girls, her black hair tied up in buns with two ribbons called Scarlet. They both shared a love of photography and history, and they toured the library and the small painting gallery, talking enthusiastically, more on her side, on the way. They discovered a brown haired girl with a fierce plum streak in her hair trailing behind them shyly when they moved to the gardens. Scarlet invited them to join them, and the girl introduced herself as Sophia. They then adjourned to the lavish music room, which Sophia read out from a plaque that the Jack Feliciano Vargas had a love for music he inherited from his mentors the Queen and Jack of Clubs Elizabeta and Roderich Edelstein, and that he had requested this room as a tribute of some sorts.

She proceeded to sit on the chair, Kiku and Scarlet perching precariously on the other sides of her while her pale fingers tickled the shiny white ivories of the piano. Her companions listened, spellbound. Kiku had remarked about how well she played, and Scarlet gushed about how she could teach her quite a few things about music. Sophia accepted the praise, blushing, and they split up after that, Scarlet clamouring for more of her friend's music and Kiku simply wanting to take more pictures and search for Heracles, turning around and taking a few snapshots of the two friends happily playing piano and admiring the ballroom.

* * *

That was where everything went wrong.

Kiku was wandering back and forth the drawing room, waiting half an hour early for their allotted returning time as his habit, before he wandered off to the kitchens, one of the places where he wasn't expected to go, and for a good reason.

He heard a clamouring chant of 'pasta!' and he scooted around the corner quickly to see…

...the Jack of Hearts himself, Feliciano Vargas, twirl around a forkful of spaghetti bolognaise, holding out the forkful to a grumpy looking King of Hearts was holding up a plate of the same food. A fond look was on his face and a few smears of cream were around his mouth while he was feeding his Jack.

He simply couldn't help it, he giggled out loud, his hand covering his mouth out of habit. When the Jack tried to give the King a saucy kiss on the cheek, eliciting a shocked gasp from the royal, it turned it into a full scale laugh.

Unfortunately, the entire kitchen had been alerted, and Kiku found himself being ushered to the royals, his head hanging down with shame and a flurry of apologies streaming from his mouth.

" _Ve_...who is this?" the Jack questioned, his pasta forgotten and his playful expression turned serious.

"Speak! What is your name?" the King demanded.

"K-Kiku Honda, Your Highnesses. I am very sorry…" he stuttered, his hands shaking and his face red.

The Jack paused, his face creasing in thought.

"So _you're_ Kiku Honda! One of our soldiers won't stop speaking about you!"

"Ah! Who...who is he? Is his name Heracles? He-Heracles Karpusi?" Kiku stuttered, his words tripping over themselves in excitement.

" _Ve,_ something along those lines! You know him?"  
"He's my-I mean, y-yes, I do. We're l-friends. Very good friends." he replied, hanging his head in grief.

He knew he couldn't speak of Heracles in that way if he wanted to stand a chance in this dangerous game of affection and royalty. He knew that the royal court would not take kindly to another burden living in their castle-he would have to keep on the down low for now, but his heart still belonged to him…

"I see. I thought it was made clear that the kitchens were not an expected place to be, Sir Kiku?" the King frowned.

"A-Ah, I am sorry, Your Highness, I got carried away when I was taking pictures of your beautiful castle." he apologized, bowing lower.

The Jack's face softened, and he murmured something in the King's ear, to which he nodded, his expression relaxing, but his gaze still stern.

"My Jack here believes that you are full of good intentions, Sir Kiku. I find you in no fault-" he began, but he was cut off by his husband.

" _Ve!_ You don't have to be afraid, little one, don't be scared by Ludwig's big talk! He's just trying to act all scary and intimidating cos that's what kings do, but inside he's a real big softie!" Feliciano cooed, trying to hug the now blushing King.

Kiku tried to interject about the fact that he was only a few years the Jack's younger, but managed to keep his mouth shut.

"I…I do apologize for my husband's behaviour. Feli, please settle down. We are royalty and we are expected to behave that way." King Ludwig complained, flustered.

"No problem, Your Highness. You two are very cute. Oh-do you mind if I take a picture?" Kiku smiled.

"Ooh, yes please! Smile pretty for the camera, Ludwig!" Feliciano cajoled softly to his reluctant King.

"Very well, Feli-just this once!"

"Three, two, one _!_ " Kiku called, the flash on the camera going off.

 _Click!_

"That is a very lovely photo, Sir Kiku. You do have some skills." The King praised him, a light blush tinting his cheeks.

"Wow~ I wish I could take such a nice picture like that! You must send us a copy when they've developed!" Feliciano giggled, his floppy hat falling into his vibrant brown eyes, the back of his palm brushing it off.

"Thank you, Your Highnesses. I will give you two the images-but oh! I am very sorry, but I must adjourn to the Drawing Room for my allotted time-I will look forward to seeing you both again." Kiku smiled, bowing once more, before him and the Jack hurried over to the room, King Ludwig watching behind them.

* * *

After the nerve inducing run through with the royals of Hearts, Kiku found himself sitting in a chair, cushioned next to Toris and Feliks, as he watched the Jack talk enthusiastically about the Deciding, King Ludwig nudging him every so and forth to keep him on track and stop him blabbering about pasta, which they all found very endearing.

"Oh, I wish I had a relationship like King Ludwig and Jack Feliciano! To have someone to love you as unconditionally as them…" Kiku heard someone coo behind him.

Heracles' smiling face, his ruffled brown hair and shining green eyes ran through his mind, a pang shooting through his heart.

He knew he couldn't fall for another, he would never betray him…

Kiku clenched his fists tightly, desperate to stop the emotional pain. Knowing that Heracles was somewhere in this castle and he was not allowed to see him almost drove him mad.

Shaking out his black bangs, he concentrated on the talk. Finding Heracles would have to wait, duties had to come first.

"Sir Kiku?"

A timid voice behind his door broke him of his reverie, and he swivelled around his chair to face an ashen haired girl, her hands behind her back, trembling slightly.

It was just after dinner, and the candidates had retreated to their rooms. Toris and Feliks had asked him to come to the Library together, but he politely declined, saying that he had a letter to complete.

"It is no problem, miss-please come in." he quickly said, but she shook her head.

"One of the soldiers wanted me to deliver a message to you-I'm not supposed to tell you who it is, though…" she trailed off, her feet shifting uneasily.

Kiku's heart soared. Could it possibly be…?

"T…thank you, have a good night." he mumbled, but his hands were already halfway into ripping the envelope open.

She bowed hastily, and took her leave.

As Kiku shelled out the cluster of papers from the envelope, an intricate map fell out, along with a picture and a letter.

Picking up the map gingerly, he smoothed it out, uncramping the creases, making the image clearer. By examining the map closer, he could see it was a very advanced map of the Hearts castle, showcasing the secret entrances and detailing the various patrolling areas and when they would stop. It was a perfect map for planning a secret escape or meeting. His hands trembled with the weight of such knowledge, and he was happy to pick up the picture.

It was a slightly lopsided shot of the garden, the shot trained on the red roses, but Kiku caught a glimpse of a sleepy smile and an orange tabby and he knew at once who had sent it.

Holding the photo close to his chest, he spun around happily, his thought whirling and giddy because he knew what the picture meant.

In the early days of their relationship, Kiku and Heracles would send each other pictures to arrange meeting times between the separate facilities. One day, it would be a grainy shot of the Chinese takeaway near the Clubs border, or it would be a perfectly orchestrated polaroid of the cherry blossoms near the pond behind the mountains, near the heart of Hearts territory, enclosed in an envelope with a kiss.

The phrase flew through his mind as he picked up the letter, his eyes scanning it swiftly.

* * *

 _Dear Kiku,_

 _I know that you have entered the Hearts palace for the Deciding, so I must see you again, for I love you and I miss you._

 _I hope you know where this place is, if not, you can see the guards' map that I've enclosed in this letter, along with my love. It is a rather well known place because that's where King Ludwig courted Jack Feliciano. Please see me at eight on the day you get this letter._

 _-Heracles_

Kiku had already left his room, his heart hammering as he put on his formal jacket on, tassels and all, and he'd slipped on his Japanese slippers and was sprinting to the garden to meet him, his camera swinging back and forth on his chest, which he'd forgotten to take off in his haste. He was still wearing his pyjamas underneath, but that didn't matter now. All that mattered was seeing _him_.

As he got to the garden, he was sitting on a stone-carved bench, his gaze fixated on the moon.

"Heracles?" Kiku murmured, edging past a rose bush.

His gaze lit up, and he leapt up from the bench, calling Kiku's name.

"I am here!" he nearly sobbed with relief, the sweethearts colliding.

They crashed against one of the rose bushes, but Kiku felt like he would get thorns in his back for a week after that, but he didn't _care_.

He was with Heracles, and nothing else in the world mattered in that moment, as they met, Heracles' arms snaking around his waist and pulling him closer, Kiku's hands slowly making their way into his brown hair, trembling with emotion. Piercing green eyes met soulful brown ones, and in that space of time, everything seemed perfect, as they broke apart.

"You got in! I was worrying you didn't, and I couldn't see you before I...never mind, Kiku, you're here now, and that's all that matters." he murmured, his voice husky, sending a chill through the shorter boy's spine, as they linked hands and sat down on the stone bench again.

"I did, I did, Heracles! I have missed you so much. How have you been doing these past few weeks?" he asked.

"It has been pretty hard..." Heracles admitted, twisting his thumbs.

"...but it's been fun. I've made a few new friends-none as good as you or Arthur, of course-but I haven't had quite as much time to sleep or play with Corporal or Larry as much as I wanted to…but I really missed you, Kiku. Lots and lots." he said fervently, his cheeks lightly flushed.

"I have really missed you as well, Heracles-but I have made a few friends here and there."

"Do tell!"

"Well, this morning I met a boy from where it used to be someplace called Lithuania named Toris, and a boy who claims he's 'fabulous'-"

"Oh my god, you're serious?" Heracles laughed.

"Yes! He is called Feliks, and him and Toris are best friends. So this afternoon, I met two girls called Scarlet and Sophia. But that is it for now-and you obviously know Arthur-my second best friend."

"And I'm your best friend, right?" he teased, his smile shining with mirth.

"Oh, shush!" Kiku exclaimed, his face red as a cherry.

Heracles only shook out his hair, smirking, and leaned in, his fingers on Kiku's cheek as he began to close the distance.

Kiku's eyes began to close, and he could feel his breath ghosting over his lips as they leaned in, and-

-his bleary eyes opened to the dark wood of his desk, his fingers clasped around a fountain pen and his glasses askew over his unfinished letter.

 _A dream?_

Looking frantically at the polished, ornate desk, he saw no letter, no picture of the garden, no map…

He hadn't met Heracles in the garden last night. It was all just a fantasy, a perfect dream.

Curling up, his knees pulled up against his chest, he sobbed, his hands covering his face, his hunched figure casting a shadow over the table, the weak morning sun slashing their rays through the windows.

Kiku finally realised that he and Heracles would never have their happy ending.

* * *

reviews would be appreciated. However, I would just like to let you know that this chapter is part of a side plot, and does not make up most of the story.

 ** _EDIT: 20/1/2016 This story is a lot more active than before. I update chapters at least weekly, however, the first few chapters are not very reflective of the current plot. I will try to fix this after I have gotten out more content, so please give this story a chance! Favourites, follows and reviews are very helpful to the improvement of this story._**


	7. Pancakes and Clocks

**_20/3/2016 If you are new to this story, please look to Chapter 26 for the latest information about editing._**

 ** _As always, I do not own _Hetalia_ nor _The Selection_. They belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and Kiera Cass respectively._**

* * *

The bleary morning sun rose in the room, and Arthur's eyes were as well to match them.

Was it really already the sunrise? He wondered how Kiku was doing.

Arthur hoped he was doing well.

He decided to start the day as usual-Kiku was always out and about at least an hour before Arthur, so it was eerily quiet, but he would always go to the toilet uninterrupted, so he did just that.

Taking a quick shower, which was needed after that small romp in the garden, he used his old, homely shampoo, which Kiku always used to complain smelled overwhelmingly of roses. Hurriedly brushing his teeth and even more quickly brushing his hair (it always stayed ruffled and messy, too many people always mistook it for a bedhead whatever he did), he pulled on the outfit he wore to the first day because that was the norm, and added small cufflinks for a small touch, and he was straightening his rather large collar, but he was interrupted by an timid knock on his front door.

"Oh-come in, come in!" he said, giving the collar another impatient tug.

The door creaked open, and a girl with darkened skin and dark hair tied into a bun entered.

"Hello, Sir…Kirkland?" she offered.

"Yes, that's me. And you are?"

"Hi, my name is Anna, and I'm your maid and stuff. You know, a personal maid?" her hands were fidgeting behind her back already.

"I see, that's very convenient. But there's no work for now...it's fine."

"Are you sure there isn't?" she asked, raising an elegant eyebrow. "There's usually a whole bunch of stuff that needs to be unpacked."

"Not sure about you, but my unpacking methods include only taking them out when I need them. No wonder why I lose things all the time." he joked.

She laughed, nodding along. "This is going to be an interesting clash of personalities, huh? I constantly get called a neat freak."

"I could use some of that-I wonder if we spend enough time, that's going to rub off on me?"

"Not hoping for any of your scruffiness to do the same to me, judging from your hair. I'm _totally_ thrilled."

They began to talk again, but she took a glance at the clock above his desk and sighed.

"Hey, sorry I have to cut this short, but I have to go downstairs for prep. Trust you won't mess up the room while you're gone?"

"No, it's fine. I'm going to have to eat dinner anyway."

"That's good, the room took an age to prepare," she snorted. "Please tell me you know where the closet is."

"Yes, I do. Thanks for that, though. Uh, see you tomorrow?" he shrugged, waving to her.

"I'm counting that as relieving me of my duties. Be back tomorrow!" Anna sang, nodding to him before she flounced out of the door.

Arthur watched her go with an amused smile on his face, then started to change.

* * *

As soon as he got there, he spotted Mei and Mark, and he slid into the seat next to them, Natalya awkwardly sandwiched between him and Emma. He noticed most of the girls were wearing more extravagant dresses than the day before, and one of them was arguing with one of the servants, looking more agitated with every second.

"Guess competition's heating up quickly." Mei commented, clasping and unclasping her blossom shaped locket because of nervousness.

"And Prince Alfred isn't even here yet!" Mark sighed, his hands pulling at his tie.

"I wonder what's so special about Prince Alfred that has girls swooning before he's even in the room." Natalya sighed, looking judgementally at a platinum blond with curls piled atop her head, piling it on.

"Hey guys, here he comes!" Emma cried.

Arthur turned to face the entrance, and Jack Yao strode out confidently, his long, blue sleeves billowing. Behind him came Prince Matthew, his figure slightly hunched, and clutching his polar bear, but he was in a more refined outfit than yesterday, a shy smile decorating his face. Leading the rear was Prince Alfred himself.

It was hard for him to even tell that the smiling, handsome prince was the same one that he talked to for hours on end yesterday. Gone was the bomber jacket and playful smirk, he now had a sense of regality surrounding him, only enhanced by the getup he was wearing.

Prince Alfred was wearing a blue suit, tie and all, with a loose trench coat bearing the Spades symbol. On his neck hung the same Spades clock from the previous night, but when it was out in broad daylight, it glimmered, catching the light of the chandelier.

Most of the girls let out a small squeal when they saw him, Mei giggled nervously, Emma was already blushing, and even Natalya let out a dreamy sigh. The boys seemed a little less surprised, but were impressed nonetheless.

"Nice clock Prince Alfred's got there." Mark commented, and Arthur had to agree, but not diverting his glance.

"Hello, everyone! As you may all know, I'm Prince Alfred, and it's very nice to meet you all! But first, please eat your breakfast-I'm looking forward to chatting with you all later!" Alfred began nervously, knowing that everyone's gazes were fixated on him.

As they all sat down, chattering amongst themselves, Alfred started on his cereal, but he couldn't hold his spoon without having his hands tremble.

"Relax, brother, you've got this. You're fine-they all adore you!" Matthew encouraged him, digging into his heap of pancakes with a fountain of maple syrup.

"He's right, you're doing very well, Prince Alfred. I remember my mother told me a story about your father-on his first day, he tripped when he was entering the room!" Yao smiled, his hands deftly spreading some butter on his toast.

"Really? Father tripped?" Alfred asked, now rather interested, Matthew leaning in closer, Kumajiro already scurrying to his bowl.

"Yes. He was too busy going very red at everyone's stares and he spun around and landed on the floor, and all the girls swarmed around him, trying to help him up! He was terrified! Chun-Yan had to help him up, it was so funny!" he laughed, deferring to the late Jack of Spades, his mother.

"I don't know how to act among girls too, Alfie. Heck, I'm not sure if I'm even attracted to them! Who knows, I could turn out to be either!" Matthew joked lightly, patting his brother on the back.

"I feel you, dude. What if all the girls turn their noses up at me just because I don't know if I am?"

"Nonsense, all the girls already love you! Did you see that one with the kimono and black bangs? She was already swooning before you came in!"

"She was really pretty…her name was Sakura, right?" he trailed off.

"You've already memorized her name? I'm shocked, but you're right, she is pretty…"

"Well, there's at least something," Yao said, "but if you really like her, you should make friends with her. Get to know her better!"

"What about the boys, though? We can't rule them out…" Alfred sighed, twiddling his fork, stealing a pancake from Matthew's pile.

"Ohy!'

"That's a very good point, Alfred. We haven't ruled out the possibility that you play for the other team…for both of you. I'm not interested in forcing both of you into something you don't want to do."

* * *

Matthew looked uncomfortable, and nodded, casting his gaze down.

"That's true, Yao…"

Matthew hung his head to carefully avoid Alfred's gaze, staring determinedly on his pancakes, nearly stabbing them with his fork.

At least Alfred was sometimes stupid and he couldn't read the atmosphere at all, or he would definitely be in trouble.

But Yao, however…

He had been the Jack even before Matthew was even born. Sure, he had only been sixteen when he was chosen, but he had wisdom and knowledge superior to Alfred's and his-he was not one to stop unwise decisions, let alone make any.

 _Maybe he already knew about Gilbert?_

Shuddering, Matthew continued to eat his pancakes.

* * *

 _Somewhere else in Cards_ _…the night is already settling in._

The figure sat stoically, facing the Queen.

"I'm sorry, but we can't indulge your whims any more. You were supposed to cut ties with him years ago!" Queen Elizabeta snapped, her husband, Jack Roderich, looking stormy behind her.

"I don't care! He's mine, and I'm his! I promised this to him years ago, and I'm not one to break promises!" the taller, more imposing figure snapped.

"Your Highness, there is no time to start a vicious war against another Kingdom for him. It will not work! Especially now, when the Decidings have taken place, and there is an unspoken rule for peace!"

"You didn't see Diamonds obey that rule last time!" he growled, thumping his jewelled sceptre on the floor.

"And look what happened to them-an angry civil war. It was Diamonds against everyone, and everyone won. You remember the Great Famine, right?" Roderich muttered.

"He's not the young teenager you fell for anymore. That time has passed, and the alliance has been dissolved greatly. He's the Jack and you've got the crown on your head. No more games, my King." Elizabeta murmured, stroking the hilt of her bronze sword.

The King of Clubs seemed to pause for a moment, and shook his head, the fire in his childlike, innocent eyes dying as quickly as they had swallowed them up.

"I'm sorry, Elizabeta, Roderich. I did not mean for that to happen. He takes over me as quickly as I can manage to fend him off. Where is my Ace? I worry about dear Katya, my sister should not be taking such a strenuous position." he sighed, rubbing his temples, his stance relaxing.

"She is the only sibling, my King. She has no choice-" Roderich reasoned, but Ivan shook his head.

"Roderich, please don't use such words when I'm back to normal. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and we're all friends, no?"

"Yes, Ivan. Is he still affecting you?"

"No, he's gone. I hope he never comes back, because it's very strange for me to be insulting my old friends, right?"

"Mhmm. It's been a long week for all of us, my friend, with the preparations and whatnot. In any case, the candidates are outside for their tour-ah, that's where dear Katyusha went."

"I should have remembered, and not sent a bevy of maids to go find her! Ah, he messes with my mind too much. I'll attend to them full heartedly tomorrow. I hope she isn't upset. Raivis can be a scrappy little rascal when he wants to."

"You know your sister better than all of us, Ivan. She doesn't mind little Raivis-he's very tame compared to the some of the other guards in training! At least Eduard went along with them-you know how experienced he is."

The royal trio continued to chat, until a tall, imposing figure dashed into the room, opening the door with a small slam.

"Ah, Eduard! Weren't you with Katya and Raivis?" Elizabeta called.

"No, the tour is nearly finished, I left it up to then. But it's the port. There's an incoming message-to you, King Ivan. It was sent last night, but our servers only detected it just now." he huffed, his chest heaving from his run.

"That's just great. I'll be seeing it-" Roderich began, but Ivan gave him a look, and he sat down, hurriedly leafing through some piano music hidden under paperwork, muttering to himself.

"Thank you. Who might it be-?"

* * *

i really didn't do anna justice here. goddamnit self

 ** _EDIT: 20/1/2016 This story is a lot more active than before. I update chapters at least weekly, however, the first few chapters are not very reflective of the current plot. I will try to fix this after I have gotten out more content, so please give this story a chance! Favourites, follows and reviews are very helpful to the improvement of this story._**


	8. False Fears

previous anon replies:

 _GalacticSpoon,_ good to know you've come over to the USUK camp, and feel free to write me a hundred reviews!

 _Dreams-Wishes-Hopes,_ I'm sorry to hear that you had a terrible day. I hope you'll have a good one today, and for anyone else who's unhappy.

One more thing, _mayazero_ , you'll have to wait and see. Ivan's got a more complicated love story than you think.

* * *

 ** _20/3/2016 If you are new to this story, please look to Chapter 26 for the latest information about editing._**

As always, I do not own _Hetalia_ nor _The Selection_. They belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and Kiera Cass respectively.

* * *

After the hearty breakfast, in which Arthur enjoyed a selection of pastries and tea, they all assembled in the Drawing Room, where they sat chatting lightly. Arthur had made acquaintances with a girl called Sakura, who held a very strong interest in olden cultures, and she held an undying crush on Prince Alfred.

"Sakura, do you like watching old movies?" he asked, his hands folded in his lap.

"Oh, I do! I rike the heroes best." she said enthusiastically, her accent prominent in that short sentence.

"Yes, however, I think the concept of heroism is a little far-fetched."

"Werl, I suppose that there might not be a hero everywhere in life," she sighed, "but I do hope that I wirl find one!"

Behind Sakura, Prince Alfred was talking to Marianne, and she had crossed her legs and fluttering her eyelashes determinedly at him.

"Is there something wrong, Sir Kirkrand?" Sakura asked nervously.

"Er, nothing, there's nothing wrong behind you, Sakura. Please, can you call me just Arthur?"

"Oh…okay then, Just Arthur. I'm sorry, it is only that it is a custom in our househord to address others by their surnames…"

"I suppose it's no problem, Sakura. Old habits are hard to break, after all."

The conversation died out then, Arthur reading a book and Sakura returned to gaze out at the window. His eyes flickered to the direction of Marianne and Alfred every so often, noticing her blatant flirting that he didn't seem to notice (fool). The snide giggle from Marianne broke the two out of their silence, and Sakura craned her neck to the side to see Marianne's hand on Alfred's arm, an apologetic smile on her face. Arthur raised his eyebrow, and Sakura scrunched up her nose in displeasure.

"It was very nice meeting you, Marianne." he said evenly, helping her to her feet and bowing once.

"It was very lovely meeting you as well, Prince Alfred! I hope to see you again-in the very, very near future." she flirted, winking and sitting back down on her chair.

Before long, Alfred had made his way to their corner. Extending his hand to Sakura, he took her hand in his and gave it a kiss, causing the shy girl to blush, a red hue splashed across her cheeks.

"Hello, Lady Sakura. Do you mind if we have a little talk?" he said suavely.

"Oh-oh! I…I wourd rove to, your Highness…sorry for my poor accent…" she stammered, her hands fidgeting, and her brown eyes meeting Arthur's, to which he gave her a reassuring smile.

"That's no problem at all, Sakura. I find it rather interesting." he said, his smile widening as he made eye contact with Arthur.

He watched them walk away, already happily talking about olden cultures.

Maybe there was some good he could do for the Deciding after all.

* * *

By the time the Prince had gotten to Arthur, the day was half gone and the bright sun had dulled to a softer sunset. More than half of the candidates had wandered off to do whatever they wanted in the castle, however, a select few had stayed back to flutter their eyelashes and see if they could get a little more time one on one, including Marianne and to his pleasant surprise, Natalya.

They were in a conversation talking about the common myths in their Inner Circles when Prince Alfred tapped him gently on his shoulder and extended his hand for Arthur to take.

Blushing slightly, he refused it, standing up of his own accord and walking briskly as to get over that mishap.

"You know, you're the only one today as to not have taken my hand." Alfred smiled, his hands behind his back as they both walked down the corridor.

"I do not need any assistance as to get up from a comfortable chair, I am a gentleman after all." Arthur explained pridefully, jutting his chin out.

"Ah, I see. The gentleman doesn't need any help at all. So what happens if you trip?" Alfred teased, playfully pushing him gently on the back, so Arthur stumbled.

"H-Hey! That's not funny, I could have gotten seriously hurt!" he protested, but there was no real anger in his voice as he regained his footing.

"Smooth, was it because of the dancing lessons you took?"

"Shut up! I can't help that I'm naturally nimble!" Arthur huffed, folding his arms and walking a little faster, his cheeks slightly red.

"Hey, hey, sorry! Relax, I was just teasing, dude. Sorry about that." Alfred said hurriedly, catching his arm and wheeling him around.

Unfortunately, Arthur did fall this time, tripping over the long coattails of his suit, collapsing on top of Alfred, both of them landing in a sullied heap on the floor with a yelp.

"Woah, careful there!" Alfred chortled from underneath him, laughing slightly at his antics.

"Sorry! It's just these…bloody coattails…I _said_ they were long…" Arthur grumbled, very flustered now.

"Those are some long coattails. Do you want me to help you hold them up?"

"N-no! It's fine, I can do that myself!"

"Um, dude? You're aware that, uh, you should get off now?" Alfred piped up, after a few very awkward moments.

Arthur didn't notice his face turning from pink to carnation when his tongue suddenly became a far too large presence in his mouth to speak, and taking the cue, he promptly fled.

"Arthur, wait!"

* * *

Arthur decided that it was far too embarrassing to go to dinner, and asked Anne to bring dinner up to his room, leaving Alfred to peer anxiously over the table during dinner.

"What's wrong, brother? Sit down." Matthew sighed, but he was not eating all that diligently, twirling his spaghetti half-heartedly.

"Where's Arthur? He's not having dinner here, is he okay?" he murmured, half to himself.

"Wait, what do you mean? What have you done to him?" Matthew hissed, shooting him a patronizing look.

"Uh, nothing! But he turned redder than the Ace of Hearts-I wonder if that's even possible? -and he ran away as fast as his legs could take him."

"Alfred, you scared that poor boy off! Do go and apologize to him straight after dinner." Yao berated, picking up on their conversation.

Alfred flushed and nodded, seeing at the candidates looking eagerly at him, and offers a sheepish smile.

"Prince Alfred, you're so cute!" one of them exclaims, and he turns redder, muttering a thank you before they turn back to their dinners.

"Well, you'd better go back and see if he's all right later. It does not leave a good impression about you for him."

* * *

And that was he did straight after dinner, bringing a plate of pastries and knocking loudly on the door.

Arthur had been writing a letter to Kiku as he burst in.

"Uh, hey, can I come in?" Alfred asked, although his foot was already in the room.

"Ah, I suppose," Arthur sighed, putting down his pen and standing up to greet him.

"Um, look, I'm sorry about this afternoon. I'm sorry that you got so flustered, even though you looked cute, and I brought these as a peace offering!" he declared, thrusting out the porcelain plate.

"…er, thanks!" Arthur choked, a faint blush splashed on his cheeks, but he took the plate.

"Yeah, I just thought ya would be hungry n' all," Alfred smiled goofily, his cheeks warming at his little slip.

Arthur picked up the one with strawberries and began to munch on it enthusiastically, his lips dusted with caster sugar after he was done.

"Mmf, this is really good!" he mumbled amidst a mouthful of food, and Alfred couldn't help but laugh at the way he was talking.

"Didn't know you were one to talk with your mouth full! You're the one who insisted on peeling an orange with a knife!"

"It's the proper way to do so!" Arthur protested, looking away.

They both sat in silence, Arthur staring determinedly at his food and Alfred sneaking a glance at him, his fingers fiddling with his clock while doing so.

"Um, have you talked to Natalya?" Arthur asked, after a few awkward moments.

"The girl with the platinum blond hair and pretty eyes?"

"…. yes."

"I did, then. She was very entertaining. I found out that we have a mutual interest in archery, although she preferred using smaller knives and jousting. However, I was confused about her love for Clubs, why isn't she there then?"

"Ah, it's because Clubs has a…thing to keep her away. Pardoning order, I've heard?"

"W-What? A par-pardoning order?" Alfred yelped, his expression looking a lot more nervous that it had been previously, causing Arthur to chuckle behind his hand discreetly.

"Yes, I've also heard that she's been an assassin. She nearly tried to kill me when we came here!" Arthur teased, his smile growing wider.

"Are you serious? W-What's she doin' here if she's that bad? I'll…I'll send her away to the prisons!" Alfred shrieked, his face turning ashen in fright.

Arthur laughed then, his green eyes twinkling with mirth, and shook his head, placing a hand on Alfred's shoulder.

"I was just teasing, she's a very sweet girl. You should really ask her to do some archery with her someday."

"Don't do that again! I get _super_ paranoid about those things!" Alfred sighed, his shoulders slumping back down again.

"What of exactly, Your Highness? Of witches, or ghosts, or chainsaw killers in the night?"

"H-Hey! Don't say those things!" Alfred huffed, his cheeks splashed with a blush.

Arthur smiled behind the palm of his hand, and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.

"I guess this is your payback for making me so flustered earlier today. Have a good night, Your Highness."

* * *

"It was so scary, Mattie! Like I didn't know that he was tripping me up 'till he told me himself! Why are they all so confusing?"

"Ah, that's why it's easier to stick with two than thirty," Matthew sighed, patting Kumajiro, who was fast asleep.

"Ugh, why do _I_ have to do this?" Alfred whined, hugging his stuffed whale closer to his chest.

"You're the Crown Prince, it's your fault for pushing out into the world a few minutes before me, thank goodness," Matthew smiled, landing back onto his soft pillows and removing his spectacles.

"Sometimes I wish I hadn't," Alfred muttered, following suit.

The rustling of bed sheets and the snuffling of Kuma in the background only disturbed their silence as the moonlight shone dimly through their window as they enjoyed their rare quiet.

"Brother, how are you going to choose from all of them? They're all so nice; it would take me years to. And you're expected to choose a Queen from them in less than a year!"

Alfred rolled onto his side, still clutching his stuffed whale, and gave a groan that would rival the loudest of grizzlies.

"It's stupid, Mattie. I don't think there's a time limit, but you're still right for once! They're all so nice, even the boy who probably came here for the cash and that one girl who looked like if she moved her eyelids anymore that they'd fall off completely!"

"What do you mean, for _once_? But again, the thing about Arthur? You know, he's scared you today, and you're probably supposed to finish with an elimination tomorrow-"

"Arthur's fine," Alfred cut him off, turning so that his blue eyes met his brother's violet ones.

"Yes, but weren't you panicked by the whole chainsaw gang thing?"

"It's not like that, I wasn't scared because that totally isn't heroic! I guess it was payback, because I did sorta trip him on _purpose_..." Alfred admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

The 'what?!' that shot out of the usually quiet Matthew's mouth was loud enough to awake the entire castle.

* * *

It was an early morning breakfast the next day, and Emma was talking very animatedly before a maid came in, much to Arthur and Mei's amusement.

"Oh no, I hope she doesn't mention this to the prince, I usually don't talk this loudly!" she fretted, and Mei patted her hand.

"It's going to be fine, I think he likes your cheerfulness already,"

"Lady Mei?" another maid had tapped her on the shoulder, and she swivelled around to face her.

"The prince requests your presence in the library now." she said quietly.

Emma and Arthur exchanged looks, and Mei got to her feet, a small blush tinting her cheeks.

Tilting his head just a little bit, he could see three more girls getting to their feet, and a few boys brushing off some invisible dust from their suits. They, along with the black haired girl, quickly exited the dining room.

"Huh. Wonder what that was all about," Leon commented next to them, worrying at a stray thread on his collar.

The three of them had opted for simpler clothes than yesterday, Emma had went for a paler red dress that tapered off near her knees, Arthur had gone for a dark blue trench coat and Leon had put on a simple jacket and a scarf.

"Maybe he wants to give them something? Is it something to do with their holding facility?" Arthur said, his thick eyebrows narrowing slightly.

"No, because Mei was in mine," Emma countered, her green eyes shining with worry.

However, it seemed like the others were more annoyed about the singling out of the group, Arthur could see Marianne murmuring to Kirkland Eyebrows Girl (who was in fact, named Clare after he'd asked Mark about her), and she was nodding to every word she said, her thick eyebrows furrowed over in frustration.

In the middle of the rather quiet breakfast, the three royals took their place. Prince Matthew looked slightly tense, gripping his fork tighter than he had the previous afternoon, but the Jack and Prince Alfred appeared completely calm.

They started to stand up, quickly caught up with the tradition of bowing, but Alfred shot them a comforting smile, shaking his head softly.

"It's all right, please continue eating," he said softly, and the candidates continued, albeit more reluctant that before.

But all around the breakfast table, dubious looks were thrown left, right and centre. Emma continued to look worriedly at Mei's now empty chair.

* * *

 ** _EDIT: 20/1/2016 This story is a lot more active than before. I update chapters at least weekly, however, the first few chapters are not very reflective of the current plot. I will try to fix this after I have gotten out more content, so please give this story a chance! Favourites, follows and reviews are very helpful to the improvement of this story._**


	9. Books and Farewells

**_20/3/2016 If you are new to this story, please look to Chapter 26 for the latest information aboutediting._**

As always, I do not own _Hetalia_ nor _The Selection_. They belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and Kiera Cass respectively.

Clare - Wy

* * *

It wasn't until Emma had gone around for a spot of archery with Prince Alfred, one of the first dates that obviously garnered a few jealous glares, that they knew what had happened.

"Thank you for accompanying me, Lady Emma, I had a very nice time."

"Thank you, Your Majesty, I had a wonderful time as well!" she giggled, slightly flustered as she pelted back to the Drawing Room.

Quickly settling herself into a plush chair, she nudged Arthur's shoulder, her expression shifting into panic.

"What's happened?" Arthur asked, putting down his book. Leon and Mark got up from their chairs, wanting to hear the conversation.

"Mei and the others who got up from this morning-they've been eliminated! That's why they were singled out to go to the library!"

"What? What did she do wrong?" Mark hissed, his gaze darting around the room, noticing the others who had picked up on this.

"I don't know! It was all so sudden-she caught me right after breakfast, she was so upset!" she continued, her voice growing slightly high pitched.

"And nine too, all at once? That's rather drastic," Arthur commented, his gaze nervous.

"I guess he simply wasn't interested into them after what happened yesterday. Do you remember-we talked a lot, but Mei seemed at such ease!" Leon added in.

"Maybe the others was just too shy?" another voice joined in.

"Maybe they were far too plain! That boy with that curly hair-he barely made an effort!" Marianne cut in, her eyes slanting in disapproval.

"I don't think it's to do with their looks. I mean, just look at the one with the thick eyebrows! He's not a good looker, that one!" Clare jutted her chin out as she spoke, and Arthur felt stung.

"That's highly offensive! And it's not like your eyebrows are perfect, uniform lines as well," he shot back, folding his arms.

"That's true, we shourd not be mean to each other," Sakura said softly, but she was shaking in her flats.

That seemed to defuse some of the tension, and they stalked back to their corners. Clare and Marianne stuck together in a windowsill, and she curled her lip at Emma as she walked past. Sakura decided to sit with the small group of four, and the room became slightly quieter, although there was a note of tension still lingering in the room.

* * *

After a few more minutes of terse foot tapping and sniffs, a boy with tousled silver-white hair dressed in palace guard uniform came into the room, looking slightly harried.

He stopped by Leon, and tapped him gently on the shoulder.

"Um, His Highness asks for your presence in the dining room. Uh, I'm guessing you know where it is?"

Leon directed his gaze to the slightly taller guard, and then nodded.

"No, I don't unfortunately. May you take me there?" he asked.

The pale guard seemed to flush even more at this, but he nodded, walking briskly away, Leon almost tripping over his ankle boots.

* * *

After Leon, three more people went, Marianne, which garnered an annoyed murmur from Clare, a redhead who carried herself a little shyly, and a boy with wild, wavy dark brown hair. Arthur kept on reading his book, but his gaze was distracted, flickering to the rapidly dimming light. Mark's foot tapped a little faster, and the silence seemed almost deafening.

When the sun started dimming and there were only a handful of them in the room, Arthur took it as a cue to leave, hastily waving goodbye to Mark before setting off to explore.

He had half a mind to go settle himself in the gardens, but quickly remembering the disastrous meeting two nights before he decided against it, trying to find the library Mei and the others had been dismissed from earlier.

He had been wandering there for approximately an hour before he heard someone familiar call out his name, and he whipped around.

"Y-Your Majesty?" he asked, slightly worried that he was supposed to still be in the drawing room for a while.

"Ah, I finally found you! I thought you would be still in the room but Mark told me you'd gone off. I also thought you'd be in the gardens but you weren't! Where were you thinking of going?"

"Um…I was trying to locate the library," Arthur explained.

"Ahaha, the library's _miles_ from where you are! You should have asked someone! Do you want me to take you there? I _was_ going to ask you to go to the gardens but I can see you've got your heart set somewhere, huh?"

"That would be…wonderful, Your Highness."

"Aw, shucks! You don't have to rattle through that-just call me Alfred!" he smiled, taking Arthur by the hand and leading him down the corridor.

"I-It's completely fine, Your Highness! I can walk perfectly as fast as you can!" Arthur protested, feeling a little embarrassed at being guided through the halls.

Alfred simply ignored his complaints, laughing all the way.

* * *

The library, for lack of words, was huge.

Rows and rows of bookshelves adorned the vast room, stretching and meeting the wall. A few rickety-looking ladders were perched precariously on the wooden shelves, and there were a line of tables strewn over the place, and the musty scent of books drifted in the air.

"I did tell you it was rather large," Alfred commented as they made their way to a pair of plush armchairs.

"…well, blimey, this _is_ massive," Arthur said, his voice slightly muted in awe, his fingers running across the velvet.

"So, tell me about yourself." Alfred began, and Arthur snorted.

"You're really going to start with that? Well, I think you should be more careful with Sakura, she'll start with her time of birth if you're not careful."

"You're my friend, so I'm asking your assistance, but I do try, thank you," Alfred laughed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Well, since we have to start somewhere, I'm seventeen, only two years younger than you, and my birthday is on the 23rd of April. Uh, I used to look after the horses in my holding facility, and I tried my hand at cooking but they kicked me out. Not my best experience."

"You like riding as well?"

"Yes, I do. I had this lovely horse Daring and she was very feisty! She was probably my best friend after Kiku, not like I _had_ that many…"

"That's a real shame. But, you know, I haven't had much friends either, except for Matthew and a few others. Nor family…"

"That's different, because I actually have a huge family. My parents...well. But there's five of them, including me. Allistor, Erin, Christian, Cormac and the wee one, Dylan." Arthur broke off, casting another awkward glance into the bookshelf.

"I sometimes miss them, isn't that weird? Father used to be so supportive, even though he wasn't there much, and Mother spent so much time looking after Matthew and I even though we complained, saying we weren't children anymore. What I wouldn't give to hear her voice again. She was really good at musical stuff as well, you know? She came from Diamonds, and her parents were rather wealthy and well known…she taught me so much." the Crown Prince said softly, his eyes casting to the large portrait of the late King and Queen of Spades.

After that, the two managed to talk the entire afternoon, and it wasn't until a worried maid scurried in that they took their leave for dinner.

* * *

Arthur really didn't know what to keep his eye on at dinner-the food, which was a steamy affair with creamy sauce and some form of fish, or the clearly cheerful prince at the table in the front.

He didn't even realise his gaze was so flighty until Emma shoved him in the ribs.

"Fish skin for your thoughts," she asked, and Arthur ducked his head in embarrassment.

"Er, it's just that, you know, the prince and everything," he stammered, suddenly much more interested in the meal than the people near the front.

"Wait, what? What about him? Did something happen this afternoon? Oh my gosh, spill!" she squealed, shaking his arm excitedly.

"Ah, nothing important, we just talked, and-"

Getting her off his arm proved to be harder than he thought, and soon enough Mark was also clamouring for details, Leon was raising his eyebrows in such a way that could only mean...things, and Arthur's face had turned a vivid scarlet. Eventually, the clamouring got so loud that someone naturally had to react.

"Is there something wrong?" a concerned voice rang out, and the noises dispersed, and a few of the candidates scuttled back to their seats.

At the prince's presence near them, Emma immediately dropped the blonde's right arm and started apologizing, a light blush tinting her cheeks, and Mark patted his left arm back onto the table and directed his gaze to the chandelier.

"Is there something happening here?" he persisted.

"Oh, oh, it's nothing, Your Highness, ah, ahaha, it's nothing, really, heh, we were just kidding around," Emma giggled nervously, her gaze not quite meeting his.

"Ah, I see how it is. Just be a little careful, don't pull him apart. Because that would be a real shame," he smiled, winking at Arthur before sauntering away.

Emma's cheeks glowed peony, and her gaze grew excited again.

"Oh, no," Arthur sighed under his breath, before he was practically bowled over by the squealing brunette.

"Answers! I want answers!"

* * *

After the interesting episode in the dining hall, things started to slowly settle down in the palace, with their daily routines now expanded to include daily lessons on the history of Cards, which Arthur was thrilled for and Mark was very annoyed with.

"Urgh, do we really have to learn why King Marcus of Diamonds decided to attack Hearts on the seventh Deciding?" he grumbled, running his hand through his messy hair.

"Well, it is for our benefit, I suppose. If we are to be the future Queen, we really have to be up to date on old history. You know what they say, knowledge is power," Arthur reasoned, a stash of books tucked under his arm.

"Oh stop it, Arthur, you sound like a scholar! Stop being so hopelessly clever!" Emma teased, nudging him playfully.

"Yeah, being a Queen, like, isn't just all work, it's also play as well!" Leon seconded, patting Emma's shoulder.

"I mean, you get to spend time out with the prince, isn't that worth enough?" Sakura interjected, her arms crossed over a red hardback.

"Uh, obviously! He is the man of my dreams, after all," Emma smiled, her eyes going a little dreamy at the thought of him.

However, the group was interrupted by footsteps tapping on the marble.

"Hello, is Miss Emma here? I was trying-"

"U-uh! Your Highness!" Emma gasped, quickly dipping into a bow. The four of them followed suit, Leon and Mark exchanging knowing looks.

"I must say, I'm very flattered about the things you said about me," Alfred said, a wide smile on his face.

"Oh…thank you, Your Majesty," the flustered brunette said quickly, her hands fiddling with the edge of her short blue dress.

"Would you like to go to the stables with me? You like horses, I recall?"

"Y-Yes, Your Highness!"

The prince extended his arm for her to take, which she did happily as they both walked away.

"Phew! Did you see the look on her face?" Mark commented as the foursome continued.

"I think the only person that's going to have the ability to shut her up is the prince," Arthur agreed, his eyes lingering on the figures for another heartbeat.

Leon nodded slowly, but his gaze flickered over to Sakura's longing expression.

* * *

And after a week, the competition had already heated up even further, with everyone who hadn't gotten a date-namely Clare and Mark-getting very worried.

"I don't know if he's going to kick me out or not," he'd confided in Leon rather quickly.

Sakura had gotten to watch a movie with the prince two days later, and she wouldn't stop smiling for the days afterwards.

"He was very funny, especiarly when he ordered five hot dogs and stuffed them arl in his mouth!"

Arthur shook his head almost fondly.

"He's _very_ smooth, isn't he?"

"Werl…you shourd not be asking me, I do not think I can find a single faurt with him." she admitted, blushing.

All the other candidates were far too happy blabbing about their encounters with the prince, but Arthur felt a little guilty every time Mark looked down dejectedly.

To add on that, he couldn't help but feel a small seed of worry every time he and Matthew talked about Gilbert, at the magnitude of the secret they were keeping, and every letter he wrote to Kiku he was careful not to include anything about his slight interest-it wasn't like he found him attractive, really!-to Alfred, knowing Kiku would be overly distraught at Heracles's current predicament in the Easterns.

But that didn't stop his heart jumping _just a little_ every time Alfred caught his gaze with his bright blue eyes, or when Leon teased him for staring a little too long at his retreating back, or how he found it so easy to start discussing the prince, even though it was usually helping Emma and Sakura with his limited knowledge of the crown prince.

Deep within him, he felt a small twinge in his chest every time the exuberant teenager called out someone else's name, or when they stopped by each other in the library and he made quick conversation, usually accompanied with a beam.

So it was much to his surprise that after one dinner, he was greeted with a knock to the door and Anna's somewhat excited face.

"The prince told me to deliver this to you!" she said, and Arthur gripped the note tightly.

 _Hey, Arthur, are you free tomorrow at night? Can we go for a walk in the gardens after dinner? Thanks a lot, Alfred. P.S. I didn't want to say this out in public because I was scared you might start yelling at me, haha! :P_

The blonde felt his cheeks heat exceptionally, and turned away from Anna's inquiring looks.

Something in Arthur Kirkland's heart was changing, almost softening for his friend-and he was not sure whether he liked it or not.

* * *

 _Facing away from the dimming sunset of Spades, night has already fallen on the sobriety of Clubs..._

"What are you doing, Ivan?"

The King of Clubs was clutching a photo frame, his shape huddled in the dark.

"G-Go away," he said softly, his eyes blotchy from hours of tears.

"No, Vanya, what's wrong? I'm your sister, I should know." Katyusha, the Ace of Clubs said calmly, extending an arm towards his shoulder.

The King allowed himself to be babied, as she gently removed the frame and stared at the photograph.

"Ah, I see you've been reminiscing,"

"We ran away together today eight years ago, don't you remember, sister?"

"How could I forget? We were all worried sick!" Katya sighed, patting his hair.

"I was happier then-it was an easier when I was still the prince and I didn't have an entire kingdom on my shoulders," the platinum blonde said softly, stroking the face of the other person in the frame.

They both looked younger, Ivan remembering his worried face at the meetings before either of them had even had become part of the Primary Suits, his warm breath on his cheek as they snuck around behind everyone else, his soft lips pressing up against his and his smooth palms against his chest, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear, his eyes shining, forbidden and frightened but together.

"Brother, you must let go." she said soothingly, gingerly extracting the frame from his large hands.

"Everyone keeps telling me to let go of him, but whatever I do, I can never truly forget him." he murmured tenderly, his fingers pulling away his silk gloves.

The Ace nodded, a face flashing into her mind, so abruptly that it shocked her.

 _Have I already tied the idea of love to him? And so quickly…_

"We've had a long day, what with orientation and whatnot. Get some rest, Ivan."

* * *

 ** _EDIT: 20/1/2016 This story is a lot more active than before. I update chapters at least weekly, however, the first few chapters are not very reflective of the current plot. I will try to fix this after I have gotten out more content, so please give this story a chance! Favourites, follows and reviews are very helpful to the improvement of this story._**


	10. Asking for Assistance

Hello, my dear readers, this update has been a week overdue. Or it might not be, in case I'm in the UK now and uploading this thanks to wifi. *waves* Hello, future self!

Anyway, I don't really want to upset you guys, but I've got only a handful of words before you're going to have to wait for updates. And I don't want to upload rushed chapters instead of ones where I take my time. And frankly, getting one or two follows/favourites/reviews doesn't really get my fingers tapping away.

I know it's sort of my fault that I live on the other side of the world and my three pm is your three am, but, uh, it wouldn't hurt to get some love!

Because I'm new to this writing stint, I'm not the most confident, so I really rely on your reviews to help shape the story, so thank you for all your support! It would be lovely to receive one for Christmas as a present, and I suppose if you hadn't received any presents this year like me, this new chapter's your gift! Happy belated Christmas to you wonderful people!

As always, I don't own _Hetalia_ nor _The Selection_. They belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and Kiera Cass respectively.

* * *

Anna was teaching him how to play cards when he knocked on the door.

"Oh, god," she hissed, picking up her skirts and doing a quick curtsy as he entered.

"Hello, may I take out Sir Arthur out for a small walk? Am I interrupting something?" he said, a smile plastered on his face.

"Ah, it's, uh, completely fine! We were just resting for a while, Arthur's been waiting for you for a while!" she bluffed, a light blush splashed on her satiny skin.

"It's nothing like that, Anna! I'll bring a jacket outside," Arthur said quickly, but the prince shook his head, gently taking his hand and leading him out.

Once they were out of his room and walking down the gardens, Alfred placed his heavy bomber jacket around his shoulders, and Arthur stared up into his bright eyes.

"I could have brought my own jacket, you know," Arthur huffed, but he wrapped the jacket more securely around his shoulders.

"Meh…you know, I had one on hand and I forgot to put it back before I went to your room. Uh, it's not like I got it just for you, ya know? It…it was just there."  
They both walked in the gardens in short, brief silence, spare for a lone hooting of an owl as they approached the old outhouse where they had their first meeting.

* * *

After they had both settled down into their seats, Alfred wrung his hands nervously and began to speak.

"You know…since you're now my friend, I'm going to have to ask you for help. I mean, it's been three very stressful weeks for me and I really need your assistance…on a bunch of things."  
"Um, what could you possibly ask me for help? You've got the Jack and Prince Matthew, not to mention your handful of advisors. The Chosen basically trip over their feet and try to do everything they can in their power to even catch your gaze. Honestly, I think I could be of little use to you at this point."

"Well, Arthur, you're thinking seriously wrong. I need someone who actually half understands my troubles and me! All I've been doing my entire life is running the kingdom with Yao and Matthew, and my advisors seem constantly fed up with what I do. This is my chance to prove myself to the kingdom and Cards, as well as find love. This is really important to me, Arthur." Alfred retorted, sounding somewhat agitated.  
The blonde fell silent, and ran a slender finger against the leather of the jacket, and nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry to assume so quickly. Very well, let's start-I couldn't help but notice you've had at least one date with almost all the Chosen within the period of time we had. Who struck you the most as, for example, one that would look good sitting in the Queen's throne next to you?"  
"Yes, I have, Yao recommended that I should start speed dating for the Broadcast next Wednesday. In appearance, you mean? Well, the person's that struck me with their looks is Marianne. I don't know, she's very pretty and talented in my eyes. At least three of my advisors thought she'd look good on a postcard." A wry smile replaced the frustrated expression that was present a few moments ago.  
"We've got somewhere, at least. But there's a few potholes in your speed dating tactic-Mark and Clare haven't got dates yet."  
At this, Alfred's face crumpled, and he put his head in his hands, shaking his head despairingly.

"Oh, Duchess, when will I be able to do something correctly? They must be seriously upset-but I can only think and I have quite a bit of work to do every single day! I can't afford a slip up, especially because my heart, amongst everything, is at risk! I can't be truly be the golden boy of Cards at heart; I have to ask for help for so many things! Honestly, I wish I could be as perfect as everyone thinks I am…"

"Your Highness, please calm down, I'm not-please, I'm not good with comforting people in general," Arthur consolidated gently, his hand extending gingerly to comfort him.

"No one is perfect, Prince Alfred, we all have to ask for help every day. But honestly…in my view, you come pretty bloody close to it. You're very nice to the local people, you're very open with yourself, and you're still strong after what happened with the Spades Suit. They adore you, all the other Chosen."

"First of all…I told you to stick with just calling me Alfred. And well…do you really think so? I mean-there's such a small pool of Chosen, and, you know-" the Crown Prince mumbled behind his palms.

"Your Hi-Alfred, I honestly think you're going to find the one who's going to hold your heart dear here."

"You…you really think so?" he began to look up, removing his spectacles and rubbing them on his expensive cloak before shaking out his honey blonde hair.

"Yes, I do. I believe in fate, and an element of magic in the air. I've seen what the past Queens could do with their magic, and I think love is it's own form of very complicated magic. It's very difficult to harness, let alone find and manipulate it to your will, but once you do…it's pretty much worth all that effort."

Alfred's face softened, and his eyes seemed to regain the childish excitement, but his gaze still remained determined.

"I don't know anyone who's really fallen in love that way…do you know anyone? I mean, my parents' love story was pretty much arranged, and I always wondered and admired how they fell in love in the end."

Arthur swallowed, internally debating whether to tell Alfred about Heracles and Kiku.

 _Oh, you know, there's someone running for the position of the Queen in Hearts, and he's already deeply in love with someone! And the only reason I came here was to try to get him out of the draft!_

No, that definitely wouldn't go down very well.

"Well, I _can_ tell you one, but I mustn't give away their names."

"Aww, why not, Artie?" Alfred asked, lolling his tongue playfully.

"First of all, don't call me Artie. Second…well, it's sort of a secret. I really can't tell you their names."  
"That's fine with me, Artie, I just…yes."

"Okay. Well, my friend and I were handled into the holding facilities from a very young age. We were measured, poked and prodded to see if we were remotely attractive. I honestly don't see how I passed the test," Arthur chuckled to himself, but Alfred shook his head and laid his hand on his shoulder.

"Trust me, I bet you passed it with flying colours," he said softly, staring deep into those green eyes before turning away, a small blush dusting his cheeks.

Arthur turned vaguely red, but thanked him all the same.

"And we had even more strenuous tests afterwards, on another language from the neighbouring countries, on general skills. One day…I remember, we had to do some experimenting with a red block. We were supposed to make it levitate or change colour. I managed to lift it a little bit in the air and half of it to a blue, but I looked to the front and he was there, and the block had changed colour to a pastel blue and was nearly halfway to the ceiling. It was amazing, and judging from our teacher's expression, she had never seen such raw ability before."  
"You already get teaching in magic in the facilities? But don't you not know whether you're a Queen or a Jack?"  
"It's very basic, because even the Jack knows one or two things. But anyway, we started rooming together, and he taught me a lot about magic and things outside our facility, because he knew how to sneak out past curfew to go snoop around the town, and I taught him how to improve his English because he had an accent because of his exotic descent, and after a while we became the best of friends."  
"You break curfew regularly, Arthur? It's good to know that someone else does the same."

Arthur laughed, and nodded, his eyes mischievous.

"It was a handful of hours, just me and my best friend, sneaking around the town, free as birds, no longer having to do mathematics or riding because that was basically what we were limited to. But one night, we got caught."  
"Oh, no, what happens next?" Alfred egged him on, inching slightly closer.

"Well, I remember it crystal clear even now, when they first met each other. It might sound very boring, but it was a pretty chilly night in December…"

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, what are you doing here?"_

 _Arthur stopped, his blood turning to ice. He wished he could somehow turn himself invisible, and he could almost feel Kiku shivering behind him, but his expression remained calm._

 _"_ _And what is your business to stop me and my friend? It is not like you are all high and mighty above us," he said icily._

 _"_ _Are you sure ya want to talk all high and mighty in your posh accent, jerk? Because you really don't want to mess with Sadiq!" the figure smirked, removing his white mask._

 _Arthur swallowed, remembering the day in the square and his twisted arm._

 _Abruptly, another voice emerged from the small house._

 _"_ _Hey, Sadiq, what's wrong? I'm trying to nap here," a sleepy, baritone voice grumbled, and another shadow appeared behind him._

 _"_ _Ohy, why are you out of our stupid cat den, you jerk? I told you to stay in there after I messed with these guys! Filthy rich, the lot of them, probably one of the spoiled brats who were deemed pretty enough for royalty! But we have good looks, eh, Herc?"_

 _"_ _Stop with your drunken blathering and go back inside, you've had too many drinks with Gupta," the man finally came into view._

 _And Arthur really, really felt like he had somewhere else to go._

 _Or just wished he'd stayed in his room with Kiku._

 _The guy was awfully burly for someone who resembled their age, with muscles and everything, mussed up brown hair and an unruly hair curl, a scruffy looking brown jacket, olive skin under the dim glow of the lamppost, strangely luminous green eyes and most oddly, a grey cat hanging off his neck._

 _Turning to Kiku for some advice, he was surprised at what he saw. Kiku's blushing face, his brown eyes darting away from the stranger, his teeth worrying at a stray part of loose skin much different from what he assumed would be furious eyes and a slightly paling face._

 _"…_ _Hello," he began slowly, gingerly extending his hand._

 _Arthur took it carefully; shaking it like it was going to detonate._

 _"_ _Oh. Nice to meet you, and nice to meet the person behind you, my name's Heracles," he drawled, his voice still drowsy from his slumber._

 _"_ _I'm Arthur, and he's Kiku."_

 _"_ _Nice to meet you, Mr Heracles." Kiku said, still refusing to look him in the eye, the blush still prominent on his cheeks._

 _"_ _Ah, don't be that way. I'm a lot younger than I look, I'm only around seventeen. It makes me feel very awkward when people compare me to the King of Hearts in age," he commented, absent-mindedly scratching his cat, who consequently let out a yowl in shock._

 _The three of them stood awkwardly for a few moments, then Kiku began to laugh._

 _As in really laugh, doubling over until your sides hurt, which was the kind Kiku never-ever-did._

 _Heracles seemed awfully perplexed, then detached the cat from his neck and held it gently, rubbing its belly._

 _"_ _Um. His name is Corporal Cat. Would you like to stroke him?"_

* * *

"So it was sort of love at first sight?"  
"I suppose. I wasn't quite sure how it worked, with my friend doubling over in laughter; it was somehow attractive to the stranger. But yes, they kept on meeting up in secret, and a few times he came over and nearly got whipped. We were supposed to be just for the royalty, supposed to stay pure and untainted, but I don't think either of them cared, and I think we both knew he wouldn't try anything because they both had a high level of respect for each other. Before I knew it, every single time we were allowed to go outside he would run off to meet him, a letter almost every two weeks from him and my friend would basically cry with joy, and there were scattered nights where I'd wake up and he wasn't there. But anyway, life went on, until…a few weeks before we were chosen."

"He was drafted into the Easterns…and since he had been from a low levelled job, he couldn't pay his way out. When the Hearts changed borders, he was still considered as a citizen. My friend wouldn't speak more than two words when he found out for weeks. And I really shouldn't…but he was chosen for another Deciding, and I'm really worrying about how he's doing. What if the other Royals find out he's committed himself to someone already?"

"This might be out of turn, but I really admire him. I mean, their lives could be in danger because of that, but they kept on going. Are they still…"  
"Yes, they are. He cried so hard when…he was taken. He was only eighteen, you know? I mean, he had his entire life ahead of him, and-"

"Does this happen regularly?" Alfred interjected, his gaze grim.

"Well…I suppose. I've seen people outside the square where we live, young girls and boys holding onto their arms, begging them not to go. Once, I even saw a few with children in their arms, or some of them were pregnant. But I remember…there was a girl who tried to take her brother's place in the draft. She had fashioned her hair into a bob and she begged for days to take his place, but it's not right according to law. They nearly shot her in the head, but her brother didn't make it back. I never saw her out in society again."

The prince's expression was unreadable, and Arthur didn't quite know whether he had upset him or not.

Then he rose, brushing some invisible dust from his pants, and pulled Arthur to his feet.

"It's getting late, I'm sorry to have to cut this short."  
"Oh, no, it's fine, I liked talking to you," Arthur said hurriedly, nervously not quite meeting his gaze.

"And I enjoyed your stories, Arthur. They've really helped me find out what life really is like outside the palace. And the love story you told me…whoever your friend is, I hope they'll be happy, whatever happens. You've given me hope that I might find love this way. One more thing-I'm guessing we'll be talking a bit more regularly than the others, because what we're doing isn't technically considered dating, so…do you want to organize a time or some form of communication when we might want to talk?"  
"Maybe like a gesture? Me and my brothers used to tap our feet in a rhythm or something."  
"That sounds good, but I can't do anything musical to save my life. What about touching our cheeks?"

Arthur considered, and nodded his head.

"That sounds good, Alfred. Uh, I'll see you tomorrow," he said, a light smile on his face as he shrugged off his jacket and handed it back to him.

The bespectacled blonde slung it over his shoulders, grinning, and planted a light kiss on the back of his hand before bidding farewell.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning, Arthur."

* * *

Reviews are what get me writing. Follows and favourites make me smile and have a generally better day. Sorry if my updates are slower from now on.


	11. broadcast

i wrote so much in europe and my notebook's almost full ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

also, merry christmas and a happy new year! what did you guys get as presents?

oh, me? i got nothing

As always, I don't own _Hetalia_ nor _The Selection_. They belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and Kiera Cass respectively.

* * *

As he woke to the sunlight slashing through his tinted windows, the blonde felt a small sense of relief. Partly telling one of his secrets to Alfred felt like a huge load off his chest, and as he got ready for the morning, steadfastly refusing any of Anna's help in attempting to tame his unruly hair, a general wave of relief flooded his chest-

-to be quickly replaced with a sense of panic.

"I completely forgot, we have a Broadcast segment today! Oh, bollocks-"  
"News flash, sir," she said dryly, currently folding his laundry.

"What am I going to do? We were told to wear something more presentable-and now I'm going to go on bloody national television wearing nothing more than a coat! I'll be kicked for sure!"

"Which is why they asked me to cater for you, Arthur," Anna teased, raising an elegant eyebrow as she gestured to the closet and slowly opened the door to a freshly pressed suit, a dark blue suit pressed and ready to go.

"You're a genius," he blurted, before quickly slipping it on.

* * *

Arthur made his way down to the drawing room slowly, a little groggy from the harried morning, hearing the distinct chatter and buzz from the other Chosen, and as soon as he swept into the room, Mark nicked his arm and tugged him to where Emma, Leon and Sakura were waiting.

"You've totally had a nice morning, you," Leon commented, his gaze amused even as he fiddled with his tie, looking somewhat distracted, his gaze darting around the room.

"Cleaned up nicely, eh? Mark finally got his date last night." Emma said cheerfully, tugging at his grey tie almost approvingly.

"Yeah, it was awesome, he took me for a tour of the grounds. We actually made some sort of pastry called a pie. Sorry that we didn't save any for you guys. He even offered to feed me a forkful, but that's just awkward, huh?"  
"No, I find that rearly sweet. I mean, he wourdn't do that if he didn't rike you, right, Mark? He's had a date with every one of us now, he has got to enjoy our company!" Sakura was sounding a lot more optimistic than the other night, her oriental heritage played out to her benefit in her regal looking oversized sleeves and dress.

"Well, that's a lot better than what I was thinking I'd get. I thought, like, he might completely blow me over after what happened last night-I nearly broke a vase while we were playing piano, but he totally took it in his stride," Leon sighed, but Arthur's gaze sharpened.

 _That's odd-he's seen me a few times with Leon, why would he not mention how well it went? He's asking for my advice, anyway_ _…_

"Well, what's the most favourite thing about him? I mean, he's totally adorable and cute and handsome and sweet and-"

"Emma, you are not going to reave us space for anything for us to say about the prince!" Sakura chided gently.

"But he is a very fine gentreman, he obviousry cares for us very werl."

"He has a good sense of humour, for sure."

"He has some good dress sense-what? Stop laughing, Arthur-"

"Yeah, shut up, he has a good point! He likes animals, and he totally treats them well-I mean, that's seriously manly, right?"

"His arms. I don't know, but I wouldn't mind having to grip them every other day. I mean, that part's just not all baby fat, right? It's not like-"

"Arthur, you cannot rearly deny things about the prince anymore, we can arl see through it."

"W-Well, I'm just saying he's in good shape! It's healthy to have a good figure, it's not like I'm saying he's muscular or anything!"

They continued to engage in playful banter, barely pausing to look at the figure now at the front of the room, his expression fond.

 _How am I going to choose from this sweet, ragtag bunch?_

* * *

They were instructed to go down to the set located near the lower levels of the palace for their first Broadcast segment after the sending off fifteen minutes before six thirty, but to some it meant two or ten, so the arrivals were staggered.

Arthur checked the buttons on his suit once more, choosing to sit behind Emma and Sakura, who were wearing lavish dresses. The brunette's was green satin to match her eyes, and Sakura was in the same outfit she had been that morning, save for a few ornaments adorned in her hair.

"Agh, I'm definitely going to make a fool of myself on national television! My hair's a mess! I should have gone for something more fancy that just a hairband, and now Sakura's a lot more prettier than I'll ever be!" Emma pouted, but she had a playful glint in her eyes.

"That is not true! Your dress is so pretty…I won't be surprised if the prince chooses you to be the next queen!" Sakura replied, ever graceful in her compliments.

"Sometimes I totally wish I was a girl…I'd get to wear all those pretty dresses instead! The suit and stuff is too constricting sometimes." Leon lamented, pulling at his bright red tie.

"Are you serious? Being a manly man and getting all the girls is a lot cooler. Hey Emma, do I have anything on my tie? I was eating something before I came down, and I think I might had dripped some sauce down."  
"Well, there's something on your chin which makes you look quite scraggly," Arthur chipped in, smirking as he reached for a napkin.

"I told you not to eat pasta before you left! Arthur, how can you stay so _calm_? It's not fair, I swear after this the Prince's going to kick me out!"

"You wirl be fine! He rikes you very much, I can terl!"

"Oh my god, can you guys just shush? You're not doing anything for my nerves!" Avie, a lanky girl with dark brown hair in a bold orange dress, was sitting behind them. Her expression was rather tense, and looking around the room, most of the others were the same.

Before Arthur could shoot back a scathing retort, Jack Yao appeared, clutching a stack of notes. Behind him, the princes were making light conversation, Matthew and Alfred sharing a joke with Gary, one of the boys Mark had made acquaintances with.

Arthur let his gaze linger for another moment, then took his place at the front of his stage next to Leon where there were a row of chairs now set up, the clomp of shoes and heels under the light murmur of chatter.

"Good evening, all citizens of Cards! The Deciding currently going on in Spades has no doubt attracted all your attention when we saw them three weeks ago as they left their homes for a lavish life-and Prince Alfred's heart. Tonight, we will get more insight into the process and what they have been up to since we left them. No doubt you all are interested in who will become the next Queen of Spades, so we will be talking to each Chosen one by one, and see how they have been doing with our crown prince. So, let's get started with this side," Yao said, peering at his notes before handing the microphone to Dean, a fair-haired boy who was wearing a deep red waistcoat.

Dean seemed rather laid back on stage, his brown hair tied up in a very short ponytail. He opened effortlessly, talking about the horse riding lessons he'd received, and elaborated on the things he liked in the palace, all the while shooting glances at Alfred. Clare was skittish as well, her voice growing quieter as the interview progressed, her fingers constantly fiddling with the hem of her pink dress. Marianne had clearly prepared her angle, with her lush red dress almost transparent across the shoulders and her fluttering lashes and constant winks playing her off as seductive, making sure the camera got a good view of her. Emma and Mark could barely hold in their laughter, and Sakura was silently mortified, elbowing them as forcefully as she would go to try to keep them quiet.

Leon was animated as he talked, his voice rising a few notches, full of enthusiasm as he described the palace and the things he liked to do. Sakura managed to hold her own, even though she got rather flustered halfway when she was asked about her feelings about the prince, and Emma was so bubbly she nearly fell out of her chair as she kicked her legs back and forth, and Mark did not feel shy at all talking about his impression about the prince, cheerfully spilling gossip that had been swirling around the palace.

Practically everyone said he was a nice person. Leon went as far as to compliment his dress sense, Emma said he was hopelessly attractive, blushing slightly as Alfred gave her an flattered smile. Clare said that she admired his power over the country, which Leon and Arthur exchanged creeped out looks, and a few of them were even asked whether they had been kissed. Sakura covered her face for a second before answering with a bright red face that she hadn't but she would have liked to, and after a handful of them, Yao turned to Alfred with an amused glance.

"Not one? Surely you must like a few of them enough to have kissed them!"  
"They've only been here three weeks! I'm not sure whether they're prepared to accept a kiss, what kinda guy do you think I am?" he replied, a cheeky smile on his face, but his hands nervously fiddled with his watch as he said it. In Arthur's opinion, it had looked like he'd never even _been_ kissed.

Then almost too quickly, the microphone was handed to Arthur and he was put on the spot, Leon shooting him a comforting look before he was asked the first question.

"You've come from the Spades inner circle, yes? Care to share a story how you got in the facility?"

"Well, you know how some families choose to give their children to the holding facilities as to try to increase the odds of getting into a Deciding? It wasn't the case for me, my family-well, I say my family but I really mean my siblings. Our parents…aren't here anymore, so naturally they looked after me."  
"Oh, I see. Do you mind to tell us more about them?" the question came tactfully, and Arthur felt himself start to relax.

"We had a big household. Because we're not the richest of people and our jobs weren't that well paying, it's the norm. So I have five brothers and sisters. There's Allistor, Dylan, Christian, Erin and Cormac. Allistor's the oldest, and Erin and Cormac are twins. Unfortunately, I'm the baby of the family, even though I'm seventeen, so I was the only one eligible for a slot when the time came. But naturally, I didn't go down with a fight, but thanks to them I had a rather comfortable life, not worrying about common necessities. And I'm happy they got that as well," he smiled to himself, remembering the nagging that had gone with their family life.  
"Six children? That's amazing how you could manage to fit. And what was it about a fight?"  
"I'm not exactly a pushover, and Erin always tells me I have an impressive temper. I don't like getting help from others, I think I got that from my father, and I'm not the nicest of people when we meet each other."  
"Did you make an exception for our prince, then?"  
Out of the corner of his eye, the blonde could catch a glimpse of the prince. He looked like he was about to burst a vein laughing.

"Uh…not exactly. Quite the opposite, really."

"Oh? Do tell!"

"I mean-our meeting was civil enough, but that night I wasn't feeling very well and I had to get outside the palace. You know, jitters and things. And he managed to get me out, to my complete relief."  
"That's sweet," Yao commented, tipping his head to one side.

"I suppose it was then. But anyway, he calmed me down, but in the process, I, uh, sort of got rather mad and yelled at him. It surprised me that he did not kick me out straight after that."  
The advisors sitting near the prince pursued their lips, a few were clearly not happy but a handful of them seemed amused. Next to him, he could hear Leon sniggering, and he turned slightly red.

"So, now you're on apparent good terms," the Jack made quotation marks in the air and Arthur had to laugh, "what did you do on your date, or your spare time together?"  
"Well, there is this place in the garden where we like to sit. And we just talk. Nothing fancy, just words and us. I know it seems dull compared to the films and things, but I really do enjoy the time spent with him. I-I mean, the simplicity of it all!" he interjected, trying to overlap what he said.

The rush of understanding filled the space, he suddenly understood why he was speed dating for the Broadcast-everyone would have something to say. Petty jealousy and loss of time spent with him was not as important as that.

"So, what do you like the best about the palace so far? I mean, you've talked about the gardens, so is that your favourite place?"  
"Probably. I mean, the other place I visit the most is the library, where there are a lot of books. I quite like to read-and another thing I like are the sweetmeats, especially the tarts."

Yao laughed, amusement glimmering in his gaze.

"The food's succulent, yes? What are your chances of winning this, you think?"

"Well…I'm not sure about that. I guess that's a question Alfred's got to answer himself."

A collective rumble of surprise swept through the crowd, and too late he realised that he shouldn't have said that-it was awfully informal in public to call the prince without his title. In private company, it would have been fine, but in the public it was incredibly informal.

"Well, with that, I must say that you've definitely got to know him! So, what do you really think of _Alfred_?"

Arthur swallowed, preparing to shoot back some teasing comment about his hero complex or his fear of chainsaw killers and his almost insatiable appetite, trying to cover up the embarrassing slip, but as he caught the bespectacled blonde, he could see the yearning for an answer, his opinion.

And to poke fun at him, to hold back his true feelings, the ones that had started to grow in his heart, even if they were never supposed to-

"Prince Alfred's just…there aren't really any words. Nice doesn't even begin to describe his personality. True, he's afraid of the strangest, silliest things and he seems to think he's a hero of some sort, but he's very sweet on everyone. He doesn't seem to think badly of people for too long, and he's an all-around dork." Catching the Jack's amused smile, he didn't dare to look at Alfred's expression.

"And I've told him this before, but I'm honoured to be serving as his subject, no matter how this turns out. Whoever will be marrying him in the end, male or female, I'm sure that they'll be the luckiest person in this country."

"Thank you so much for your honest words, Arthur. We'll be moving on, up next is Sir David." The Jack finished, shaking his damp palm before moving on to the next chair.

Arthur managed to not catch Alfred's gaze for the rest of the Broadcast, feeling the embarrassment rise in his cheeks, barely acknowledging when Leon had nudged him in the shoulder, quietly replaying the conversation he'd had in his head.

* * *

 _Even though the tranquil night has come out to traverse Spades, the sun has only began to sleep in Diamonds' lush lands..._

"Lili, what are you doing?"

The young Queen had settled down onto the marble floor, her chrome yellow skirts fanned around her, an ivory clasp in her hands.

"Ah, Vash! You gave me a shock!" she exclaimed, quickly shoving the clasp between her chiffon folds, but the Jack had noticed anyway, and gripped her soft hands in his calloused ones.

"What's wrong, valley girl? Didn't we say to keep you away from those wretched amplifiers for five years?"

"I've only worn my flower crown for four," she protested, but she did not jerk her hand away from her husband's, her blue orbs mesmeric to him.

Vash held her gaze for another heartbeat, and then looked down, shaking his head swiftly.

"Lili, you know I can't stay mad at you with that look," he said tenderly, brushing a few tendrils of blonde hair from her face.

"And I you, Vash, but…I want to make our second child strong. Strong enough so that she or he can rule Diamonds well."

"And they will, but you must be healthy in time for that. Do you remember what happened with Peter?"

"At least dear Gilbert could fix him, I suspect he's enjoying an amplified magical ability within Spades," she lamented, her smile settling a little.

Outside the peaceful scene, where the blissfully happy couple rested, a dark figure raced outside the courtyard, a blur of a shape.

"Phew, it's not night yet, Franny-boy won't suspect anything," he panted, running a hand through his sweaty, pale locks.

Holding a small, blue envelope, he started to walk back up to the palace, a flask of syrup attached to his hip.

 _Be careful on your way back home, and make sure Gilbird doesn't crash into any trees._

 _I love you._

* * *

reviews, follows and favourites are really appreciated.

never mind it's 5am where i am ffs-


	12. Teenage Kisses

apparently, during the process when i updated chapter fifteen, this section got lost. thank you, _ponpond_ , for alerting me ^^

i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to _kiera cass_ and _hidekaz himaruya_ respectively.

* * *

A lot had happened in the weeks following their first Broadcast. Leila and Thomas had gotten in a fight one Wednesday in the Drawing Room, and both had been dismissed promptly. A lot of the girls had predicted Leila's leaving, due to the fact that she had actually lied about getting her date with the prince and that she did not actually get one until after the Broadcast, which many thought as an action out of pity before she got sent home. Thomas was simply incompatible as an interest and left without much notice. They dropped to twenty, ten gone in a month. The process seemed rather swift in Arthur's mind.

The rogue Jokers that had been encroaching near Hearts the couple of weeks before the first elimination had been getting worriedly close toward the borders. Hearts had been saying that they had apparently been staying near the outskirts, and there had been no rebel attacks or skirmishes near their territory concerning them or the Drift, but they had warned the Primary Suit to be careful. They had been receiving a lesson on basic magic, one that Arthur felt completely at ease with, compared to others who couldn't even get the block to change from blue to red…not like that was the issue that was most important thing on his mind then.

The prince had been avoiding him for the past two weeks, even when Arthur had went to the gardens or the library, he was not there, even though it was his usual hideout. He had considered snooping in one of his dates to try to get his attention, but he thought that would be exceedingly rude and very ungentlemanly. But during mealtimes, he thought that he caught a glimpse of Alfred looking at him, but every time he tried to meet his gaze, the prince darted away to talk to someone. He felt a lurch in his stomach once as he caught the yearning look in his face, but quickly convinced himself that the glance was for someone else.

But it was not like the yearning was only on one side. Arthur felt his thoughts become more occupied with the prince, finding himself one afternoon clutching the note that he'd been sent the day before the Broadcast, stroking the words fondly, being shook out of his daze by an amused Anna, who had just come back from cleaning his clothes, having the handsome nineteen year old haunt his dreams. Not like he did embarrassing things like writing his and Alfred's names together or staring out the window like some lovesick schoolgirl, he tried to keep the attraction and the gazes to a minimum, but it was getting harder with every passing day.

The feeling in Arthur's stomach definitely wasn't nervousness. The week after the Broadcast, Alfred had taken everyone-well, almost everyone, out on another date-except him. So now he was the one to deal with Mark's excited, slightly girlish squeals as he came back to his room for details about the date, Leon's winks and nudges at dinner, Emma's gushing and Sakura's constant blushing and stuttering every time she was within his proximity. For Duchess's sake, it made him want to go back to the reclusive 'I only have one friend' person before they lumped together due to the pressure of the Deciding.

After the Broadcast and the dismissal of Leila and Thomas and the imminent rebel threat, it seemed that the prince was trying to keep his distance. Arthur almost was grateful.

 _I mean_ _…_ _where had those strangely sweet words come from? Those were supposed to have been, at most, a quick letter to the prince before my departure from the palace, not in front of the whole country!_

However, his intense self lamenting was interrupted by Anna nudging him in the shoulder.

* * *

"Hey. The prince told me to deliver this note to you," she said, her other arm currently clutching a garment bag.

"O-oh, thank you, Anna. Is that for me?" he sighed, folding down the corner of the book he was reading.

"No, sir, they're for Leon," she teased, rolling her eyes.

"Wrong room, miss, he's down the hallway, but-what did the prince send to me, again?"

"Oh, _now_ you're interested? Just a small invitation to go on a walk in the gardens with him. One thing-you know why he's been aggressively dating this week, and only know he asks you out? May's been asking me," she asked, referring to Sakura's maid.

Arthur faltered a little at that, and shook his head.

"Your guess is as good as mine. Honestly, compared to everyone else-what do I have to offer? I'm a male, which could possibly mean that I'll have a lesser chance of producing children…and the way his advisors frown on me-and what I said on the Broadcast-"

"-I think what you said on there was pretty sweet. And I don't think the prince exactly wants a baby maker," she interrupted, closing the door of his wardrobe.

"But didn't you think it was a little too much? The advisors-"

"-aren't the people who choose you to be the next Queen. They _advise_ , hence the title. But yes, until Prince Alfred marries one of you, they practically run the country for him. It's no secret, everyone who's been in the palace for a while know. But us maids, the night the Broadcast air, we usually have a small party where we watch it downstairs. I swear, everyone in the room went 'aww' at your little speech. Our opinions may not count as much as other people, but you should know we're-people are rooting for you. Not sure if that really means anything much to ya."  
"Are-are you serious? Of course it does! I think it's a weight off my shoulders, because, well, until you said that-I thought no one really wanted me to win this thing."

"Well, now you know there's a good amount of support. Go get him."

Sunset had began to set on the lush gardens of the palace of Spades, but Arthur was nervously twiddling his thumbs as he sat on the stone bench in his new coat.

If he really wanted the prince to keep on having a positive relationship with him…Anna had said he should go the whole way.

If the new clothes and the smirk on her face said anything-she _knew_.

* * *

And that thought was enough to make him suit up and cross his legs, like a future royal would.

Nervously rearranging the silk bow on his neck, he caught the sight of a figure walking briskly to the garden.

"Your Majesty?" he called out uncertainly into the night.

"Are ya there already? Sorry I'm late, Arthur, I had to go through a bunch of policies with my advisors, and Dean stopped me for a chat on the way here. Apologies, dude!"  
Arthur gave a small sigh of relief, but managed to keep it to himself as he kept a carefully indifferent expression as he did a quick bow, before meeting amused blue eyes.

"It's no problem, your Majesty. I'm…I'm just glad you came here in the end. Tardiness, is, well, expected of a crown prince." he said, still feeling a little frosty.

"Hey…did I miss somethin'? Because I think I told you that you didn't have to speak like that around me!"  
"Well-I'm not sure I fit by your standards after what's happened these past few weeks! I mean-I thought you didn't expect to think of you romantically! I was used to this because-"

"Are you talking about the Broadcast? I don't…what did you do wrong?"  
"Something that made you stay away from me and spend time with everyone else this week!"

"It's the Deciding, Arthur! It's not my fault it's like this, I'm supposed to choose from thirty-well, twenty now, of you to be my future Queen! I don't like this even more than you do!"  
They were practically shouting at each other now, the argument becoming charged with frustration because of all the distance they had kept from each other from the last weeks.

"And didn't you make it clear that you wouldn't ever be attracted to me, at all? Based on that alone, you should be going home! If you don't like me at all, why are you concerned about not spending time with me? I was keeping you because I found you-uh, you were a good friend then!"  
"Oh, so now you want to kick me out?" Arthur spat

"No, it's not like that. It's up to you whether you want to stay or leave. We're at that point, Arthur! If you really hate being my friend…"

"That's _it_! I don't like being just your friend because-" the green eyed teen began, but felt his throat close up.

 _You're cute when you smile. You're the hugest dork I've ever met. You make me laugh. You're adorably silly. You're devilishly handsome. You're too sweet for your own good._

"-Artie, when you shut up when we're arguing, you get super scary, don't get so mad-hey, what's wrong?" Alfred really was concerned now, taking Arthur's clammy hands in his, blue eyes a sea of worry.

 _I think I'm starting to like you in that way. Really, with all my heart, despite what I told you_ _…_

"I…just, do you remember when we fought?" he stuttered, all anger sapped from his body in that one sentence.

Alfred's face softened, and relief came flooding back to his expression.

"Artie…we've been fighting since the day we met. Do you mean the first time I stumbled upon you in the garden?"  
"Yes. That night in the outhouse, I said I was going to be honoured to serve as your subject no matter what happened, how this turned out. All those things on the Broadcast weren't made up or fabricated, I meant every word. Even the meetings afterwards when we agreed to really be friends and we fought over whether you really needed help-I meant that I would be satisfied with just your friendship. But…that was then. Now, I can't say the same now." he said softly, his gaze not quite meeting the prince's.

 _And that scares me, because I've never been in love._

 _I've never felt so strongly about someone in this way-not like this._

"Arthur…what are you trying to say? Just…tell me what it is. I promise, I won't laugh."  
"It's… _because_ of all the time we've spent together as friends that I think I've realised that I can't think of you-of _us_ -as just friends anymore." Arthur finally admitted, turning away from Alfred, his gaze filling up with shame and desperately held back tears.

When he dared to direct his gaze back to the honey blond, the confusion and rejection he was expecting was not what he was greeted with.

"Artie…" he began, a smile creeping onto his handsome features.

"O-Okay, I get it. I'll pack up my stuff and go, I'm sorry this has been quite awkward. I hope we'll part on good terms." Arthur fumbled for words, starting to get up.

"No, what are you talking about? Geez, and Matthew says that I can't read the atmosphere! No way am I letting you go now!" the smile on Alfred's gaze was that to rival a sunbeam.

"But wasn't I staying here to just be your friend, an inside person to help you pick out the next Queen?"  
"Arthur, if it was for just that reason, I would have eliminated you pretty soon, then wrote you letters asking for help. But by that point, the first elimination, I realised that my reasons for keeping you far outweighed the circumstances of letting you go. Either I told you far too much…or I had eyes for you in the beginning. I think I truly saw it after you told me the love story about your friend." he punctuated that sentence (terribly endearingly, Arthur thought) with a playful wink.

"So…you mean that you feel-I wasn't-"

"I think…us defining our relationship as something having the possibility of being more than friends would be accurate. The first time I saw you, I felt attracted to you. My advisors, if they disapproved, it would mean next to nothing for me. I had your opinion, your company, enjoyed your rare smiles, your blushing you do? That's adorable. Not to mention awesomely attractive."  
As if on cue, Arthur's smile turned an immediate scarlet, ducking his head bashfully.

"S-Shut it, git, I do nothing of the sort, you're heavily mistaken," he protested, slowly sitting back down as the prince clasped his hand and pulled the blond to him.

Alfred laughed, removing his glasses and wiping them on his shirt before placing them back on.

"Well, then…do you think that, you know there could be a possibility of us? As in, us being together, involved…romantically?"

Arthur's gaze rose to meet his, jade green meeting blue eyes as vivid as the spring sky, and the look he gave him sparkled with shy happiness.

"Honestly, Alfred, I think there is. Truly, from the bottom of my heart."  
"So…I've been wanting to do this since at _least_ the Broadcast, heh, so that's sorta why I stayed away. But I thought it was gonna be nicer and more manly because I was saving my first for you since then. But…can I kiss you?" Alfred asked shyly, averting his hopeful gaze, a boyish smile on his face.

Arthur was shocked-and flattered-beyond his wildest dreams.

 _Here I was, thinking that you wouldn't like me, and now you're offering-wanting your first kiss to be with me?_

 _I don't_ _quite know what to say. But this is my first time as well_ _…_

"You may," he said softly, and Alfred leaned towards him, lifting a hand to rest on the nape of Arthur's neck, his scruffy blond hair tickling the back of his hand, the shorter blond catching a whiff of his scent, full of leather and apples and cologne as he wrapped his arms slowly around his waist.

And the kiss was definitely not a perfect one either, with awkward forehead bumping and Alfred's glasses nudging into his face, and the sound of his heartbeat going a million miles an hour, but feeling Alfred's slightly damp lips on his gave Arthur an exhilarating feeling, one that made him more giddy and faint than riding his first horse or performing his first incantation or going on his night escapades with Kiku.

When they broke apart, Arthur was breathless, and tingles ran down from the tips of his fingers to his feet.

"D-Did you like it? I mean, it wasn't bad for our first kiss, huh?" Alfred asked bashfully, interlacing his fingers with Arthur's gloved ones.

"You're right. I mean, I wasn't complete rubbish for my first, yes?" Noting the royal's surprised expression, he felt his cheeks colour slightly.

"But I really did like it! But still…we do need the practice after all, if you really want to show me a good time. So why don't we do some more practice now?" Arthur smirked, gripping his hands and yanking him closer.

"-unf, hey, Arthur!" the now flustered prince yelped, but if the determined smile on his face was anything to go by, he was in for it too.

And that was what they told each other, over and over again, meeting in an awkward clash of tongues and teeth and noses as they kissed time after time for the rest of the night.

* * *

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me there!


	13. Jokers

thank you for all the reviews/follows/favourites, i hit around 42,000+ words this weekend, and i've been having a lot more fun, so thank you _so much_! the updates will still be maintained for a while thanks to all of you! _seven_ reviews, oh my goshhh. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

this is just to see whether you guys will find reading the new chapters on fridays/the weekend easier, if it doesn't work out for you guys then it's fine.

and to my Guest reviewer last chapter (the earliest one), i'm assuming you read the Selection series? If you've read the Elite (like ThisIsTheEarth-thanks for the review/fave and follow by the way!), you probably know what's happening to Leon...all I can say is that you should start to sharpen your chainsaw(s). :')

by the way, do you guys think my chapters are too short? i mean, i've got something planned, but i'm not sure whether i should add it in. i'm aiming for around 40-60 chapters, we'll see how it goes.

i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to _kiera cass_ and _hidekaz himaruya_ respectively.

* * *

Arthur was in a state of either complete shock or overwhelming bliss the next morning, not daring to even sneak a glance at the prince sitting on the front of the table in ear of an imminent blush forming on his cheeks.

Still in much of a hazy state, he hardly processed Emma's feverish questions or the several knowing looks exchanged between Mark and Leon, until the shouting started.

A guard was pelting into the Drawing Room, his wild, fair hair flicking from side to side, his sword hilt thumping on his hip.

"Rebels! Your Highness, there's a crow of rogue Jokers approaching the palace outside, get inside the safe rooms!"  
"Where are they, Matthias," Alfred said, quickly moving his chair behind him in one swift movement, the chatter between the Chosen erupting.

"Our sentries saw them and raised the alarms, so I must say around ten metres and gaining? They're going to be upon the castle in minutes! Get yourself and the Chosen down to the safe rooms. The others and me will follow suit after we've got everything sorted and we've subdued as many as we possibly can. We're going to leave only a few soldiers out; we won't have much trouble with Peter. I'll take Berwald and Emil and round our other magic wielders up. Swords won't work on these beasts," he muttered, before pelting back. Leon seemed concerned about something, and broke away from the group as to talk to the elite guard, but he was met with a shake of his head and a pat on his shoulder. Disconcerted, the brunette returned back to Arthur's left.

"What's wrong, Leon?"

"No, it was nothing. Really, I'm fine," he answered hurriedly.

Arthur frowned, but chose to keep silent for his friend.

"Come on, all of you! Pick up the pace," the Jack called, and he turned a swift corner, the panicked cluster of teenagers clumsily following him to a wall, where he murmured a handful of words and placed his hand on a wall, unearthing a latch, which he pulled.

A door opened, made of exceptionally strong material, exposing and the Jack relaxed, removing his hand from the wall, letting out a rush of breath.

"Get to the back, everyone!" he called, Matthew and Alfred running in with a cluster of papers. A guard gave the sign that it was safe, and the door slowly started to clang shut as they herded into the room. However, as Arthur, Emma, Mark and Sakura positioned themselves in a corner furthest away from a window, they realised someone else in their group were missing.

"Hey, where's Leon?" Emma asked, having to raise her voice amidst the screaming.

More panicked calls and frantic gazes were cast, until he heard a yell down the corridor.

"Hold the door!" Leon shouted down the hallway, bursting in the room with a guard, a small bird cupped in his hands.

"Close the doors!" the fair haired guard called, helping him to his seat and quickly bowing to him before the doors slammed shut and they were confined in the darkness.

"What were you _thinking_?" Emma sighed, wrapping her arms around him, and Leon only shook his head, his eyes being filled with an unknown emotion, powerful and simmering in his eyes.

"It doesn't matter, I'm not one to leave an animal for dead. Just…shh. It's violent out there," he said solemnly, and Emma didn't push harder, she just sighed and curled against his back, closing her eyes.

* * *

The others weren't faring as well. Sakura had become a crying wreck, her hands trembling with every sob, Mark's face was set in stone, his fists clenched. Arthur felt his heart pounding in his ears, and Avie had passed out in someone's lap. Most people's faces were white, and some people had even collapsed, on their knees and hands, in prayer or in fear.

Arthur watched as Alfred got up, talking gently to Marianne, holding her arm and making her smile, doing the same to Clare who was curled up in a ball next to her. They both relaxed, and even when he felt a pang of jealousy as Clare whispered something in his ear and he chuckled in reply, he couldn't help but feel a tinge of admiration sear in his heart, broken only when a mishmash of objects landing on the windows made a handful of them scream.

As he got closer, he felt a surge of disappointment at himself. Just because Alfred had kissed him already didn't mean that he should think of himself solely as the candidate who was going to win. And besides, Arthur wanted to take it slow. He didn't know how to take this the right way, and if he messed up, he didn't want their relationship to be tarnished completely. And he knew how in love Sakura and Emma were with him, and how much Mark and Leon liked him, even though he hadn't asked him about his true scope of attraction to the prince. He shouldn't be the one to limit the prince's options.

So when Alfred got closer to their group, he nudged Sakura, shaking her shoulders firmly. She stopped sniffling, rubbing her eyes almost confusedly.

"Arthur-san? Am I bothering you, I am sorry! What is wrong? Are they inside the safe room? Do we have to reave?" she mumbled, broken apologies scattered throughout her distressed words.

"No, listen to me, Sakura. The prince is coming over, and you've got to chin up and smile. You can't let him see you like this; he must have a princess who does not let anything scare her. Now come on, wipe your tears, love, and give me a smile."  
Sakura nodded slowly, and offered him a watery smile. It was not nearly as bright as her usual ones were, but it was a smile and an improvement all the same.

As Alfred approached her and kissed her hand, she smiled amidst her tears, and arranged her skirts, talking happily to him, looking completely smitten. When it was Emma, she quickly got over what little fear she had and easily leaned against his shoulder, chatting happily to him. Leon and Mark both seemed relieved to see him, Mark blushing as Alfred touched his shoulder and gave him a hug, but Arthur was glad to see the colour return back to his face.

"What are they doing here? What do they want?"

"I dunno, Artie. It's just that…these guys are fierce. There's usually two groups, ones that just come in and wreck the place, and the others, more violent, more senior rogues, which come in with the intention to kill. They've succeeded, yes, but the casualties are only around a small handful. Fingers crossed, it's just the first group."

The boys were whispering quietly to each other, common protocol not allowing them to leave the safe room until dawn. Between the drowsy hours, Alfred had shaken him awake. Arthur had a good sense to yell at him, but since he was already awake, he decided not to in case some rogues were outside.

"When do the senior figures attack?"  
"Only a bunch of times per year. Clubs usually intercepts them, but if that doesn't work, Hearts gives us a warning in advance anyway. I'm not sure why they hold back for so long, but it's like that. I'm not sure why they attack so much, but it's probably because of the rule that decrees that there can only be two Jokers at any given time. And we are a target because we have one of those Jokers in the palace."

"What about Diamonds? They have the other Joker, Gilbert. He's in their castle, right?"

 _Not to mention he's here every Saturday night, meeting up in an highly dangerous affair with your brother, and he's told me, not you, and that's why Spades is easily the most powerful Kingdom on a Saturday evening, not because of the auspicious hunky junky I told you the other day. That's completely false._

"Yeah, but they're farther away from their suspected camp than we are. They have this supposed idea, where we exiled them. After the Deciding War, we either punished them by killing or imprisoning them, or exiling them to the Drift. It's an island where the people who have committed the most crimes go. Except for Katya and Roma, of course. Roma was a general that had first worked for the Jokers, but then had sided with us. When he felt that Gilbert had completed his training under him he decided to give the title to him instead, and he retired peacefully."

"I think the Jack mentioned that in a few history lessons. I think he mentioned as well that the Jack and Ace of Hearts are his grandsons."  
"Yes, I think that's right."  
They both kept quiet for a while, the low rasp of breathing and the occasional clang of an object being the only sounds emitted.

"About last night," Arthur ventured after a while.

"What about it?"

"You kissed me," he said chastely, looking away from his gaze for a moment.

"Yeah, and I'm glad I did it. Was it-did I make advances on you too fast for your liking?"  
"It's about that-I'm definitely sure that I liked it, but-I haven't done this before. Like dating, falling in love, whatever you call it. I'm sorry if I'm exceptionally awkward at that, I'm not one to spill out my feelings."  
"So are you just confused? Do you not swing that way or…?" Alfred replied uncertainly, his gaze growing nervous.

"No, it's nothing like that. I'm just…jittery. Uncertain. Whatever. We just need to take it slow, is that all right?"

Alfred seemed at a loss for a moment, and then he nodded.

"It's fine, Arthur. I mean, this is the first time I've done anything like this, so taking it slow is good. I don't know any more than you do. Just…tell me one more thing, all right?"  
"Go on. Just make sure it's not something weird or exceptionally horny."  
Alfred snorted, and shook his head.

"That's not me, that's the King of Diamonds. He tried to grope me once when we had the annual meeting. Never mind. But remember, last night you told me we had the possibility of being more than friends, for both of us to like each other romantically. Do you still think that chance…still stands?"

Arthur took a deep breath, fiddling with his hands, his heart beating in his ear.

"Y-Yes, I think it stands. Quite firmly."

The prince beamed, and placed a kiss on his hand before getting up.

"We're going have to go full steam tomorrow, you should get some sleep."

* * *

sorry that they're not together yet, i didn't want to make arthur too much of a pushover. updating will still be normal for a while. reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me there!


	14. Hero

i'm going to stick with updating on the weekend for the time being, if you guys want me to adapt more to your reading style, i'll consider it. i'm sorry that chapters (for the people on my side of the world) will be released in the middle of the night, I have to pertain to my main viewer circle, whose time difference makes it that way.

i also edited the first three chapters, I will do a formal rewrite after I get out more new content. Which is proving difficult.

but yeah, 50 reviews. Whew. We've gotten so much farther than I could have hoped for, at 15 chapters. Thank you all! Let's make it to 100 and beyond!

Storm, I really do appreciate you recommending my story, and ThisIsTheEarth, the _real_ danger comes from the chainsaw anon. and there's a lot of hate (from reviewers and me) to be expected for that chapter. no spoilers ;)

i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to _kiera cass_ and _hidekaz himaruya_ respectively.

* * *

The next morning, the Chosen had the option of taking breakfast in their rooms. Arthur had considered having it down in the Drawing Room, but when a guard came knocking on his door with an envelope from Kiku, he decided to stay back and devour the words-and the good food. He'd dismissed Anna after his breakfast was delivered, asking about her wellbeing during the rebel attack, which she brushed off his worries and told him she had been fine.

 _Dear Arthur,_

 _How have you been doing? I trust that you have been well. I hope you have been unfettered by the recent rebel attacks. We have been largely unaffected by their passing, we have only been taking drills in case of an attack on the palace. We were all worried when we received news of the attack. Please write back soon to assure your safety._

 _Moving on, how is your Deciding going? Mine has been going extremely well, the King and Jack of Hearts have been exceedingly kind. A few people got stroppy and into a fight, so we've dwindled down to around fifteen. I'm aware it has been probably moving slower for you, but King Ludwig and Jack Feliciano wanted a queen, one that is a wise ruler, not a lover. I know the prince must be very careful with his heart, and so do not be disappointed if he does not spend as much time with as he possibly has in the past. You may deny that you feel a form of attraction to him, but I can tell from your speech at the Broadcast that you have sufficient interest in him to feel for him. Do not worry, my friend, I will not make fun of you. I have fallen in love before you, after all._

 _And it is all right if you cannot provide any more additional aid, I know that you have tried your best to tried to make his dire situation better. Maybe it is fate, after all_ _…_ _never mind. But if you receive any news, please let me know. I-I do worry._

 _But again, I suspect your motives for staying in the competition have changed, and I am happy that you have garnered affection for the prince, and therefore have something to fight for. I wish you happiness and success in your endeavours to win the prince's heart (I must admit, he is partly attractive,), and I'll make an effort to come to your wedding. Please do not feel obliged to make me your bridesmaid!_

 _Best regards,_

 _Kiku_

Arthur bit his lip, feeling a laugh rumble in his stomach from Kiku's amusing letter, even though it was rather formal even for him and his best friend.

Toying with his pen, he tried to garner ideas for a thoughtful letter back, but when he managed to start writing his letter after staring at his paper containing the two words 'Dear Kiku,' a hyper barking sounded outside his door, accompanied with a few giggles.

"Hey, wait up for me, puppy!" a melodic giggle rang out, followed by a cluster of calls.

Gingerly opening the door, a dog pelted in Arthur's room, ears flying and tail wagging, before he leapt up onto his bed and yapped loudly.

"Oi, what are you doing here? I didn't know the palace had pets!" Arthur exclaimed, approaching the dog slowly. He'd raised a cat named Teacup that had died when he was small, being a long-time family pet since his father had married his mother.

The dog just lolled his tongue and yipped happily, taking a running start and leaping onto Arthur's chest, and the lanky teenager jumped back with a yelp, but instinctively wrapped his arms around the pooch, which the dog took as an invitation to lick his face.

"I see, you want cuddles-oi, stop that! You've cleansed my entire face with your slobber! That's enough, I'll just-wait!" the blonde teen spluttered, as the door flung open noisily again.

"Hey, Hero, are ya here? Herooooo!"  
"Your Highness…! Is this _your_ dog?" Arthur yelped, currently having a furry snout and a wet nose pressed against his ear.

"Ah yeah! You managed to find him! That's awesome! Hero, come here!"  
Hero yipped happily in surprise, and started to squirm rather powerfully for a small Jack Russell like him, which prompted Arthur to quickly place him on the floor where he bounded to his owner and nuzzled the back of his hand.

"Aww, he's so cute!" unfortunately, the gaggle of girls and boys had not subsided, and they fawned over the pooch.

Alfred, however, made his way to Arthur and handed him a napkin, which he proceeded to use to wipe the slobber off his cheek.

"You okay? Hero's just a little boisterous sometimes."

"Yes, I'm fine, he's just a little ball of energy, isn't he? When did you get him?"

"Uh, I got him for my fifteenth birthday. He's just turned four this year, but I still see him as a puppy. Talking about puppies, did he slobber all over you? If he did, sorry about that."

"Yes, well…I had a cat and she didn't lick me all over like that, not nearly as badly, after all…"

"If you'd let your cat lick you, it is okay if I lick your cheek? You know…" Alfred grinned, his smile teasing.

Arthur went shockingly scarlet, and swivelled away from him, pressing a hand to his cheek impulsively all the same.

"A-Alfred! Not in front of them!" he protested, and the prince quickly lowered his volume, shooting a gaze back to his dog and the crowd surrounding him.

"Yeah, the secretive thing. Sorry 'bout that." he said dejectedly, letting his hand drop.

Arthur quickly felt guilty, and discreetly wove his fingers through his, giving him a quick squeeze.

"No, it's fine. Just…try to keep the obvious attraction a little more on the- _down low_. It's not like I-I enjoy them, of course!"  
Alfred winked, giving his hand another fond squeeze, before a high pitched squeal made them both jump apart and quickly cast their gazes from each other, the two of them blushing and flustered.

After the eventful morning, the Chosen all were instructed to come down to the board room for some discussion. When they got there, the princes were sitting and talking in hushed, slightly frustrated tones. The Jack looked tense to the point of looking almost upset, tightly clutching a sheaf of papers. A small group of guards were talking with an advisor clothed in green and blue, their faces animated.

They all gracefully took a seat when Yao hissed out a 'let's begin', and he skimmed through his papers again, waving a hasty hand, signalling everyone else as Prince Matthew and Alfred took their seats, Alfred in the King's chair and Matthew, acting as the Ace, settling in the Queen's chair and the Jack settling into his throne.

 _A void that will certainly be filled at the end of this Deciding_ , Arthur thought.

"All right. Most of you, except for the Chosen, know that we have a very important annual meeting that will be taking place in around four days. Unfortunately…we are faced with the task of hosting the other Kingdoms this year, so we must have a part in readying the palace. The Chosen are not obligated to help out with the heaviest tasks, but they are agreed to help out with the little things, such as doing light manual labour."

Natalya raised her hand up, looking incredibly interested.

"Does this mean that all the Kingdoms will be coming to Spades for the Meeting?"  
"Yes, all the Kingdoms. Hearts, Diamonds and Clubs." his voice caught on the last word, but he nodded firmly.

She clasped her hands to her chest and began feverishly whispering to Marianne and Clare, who'd she seemed to be best friends with now. Arthur felt no bitterness, but he felt a small twinge of betrayal, remembering how quickly they had been to form a tentative friendship of some sorts and how easily that had fell apart.

But again, if she decided to lump herself with a bunch of fanciful girls that were probably after the crown more than the prince himself, so be it, really. It was her choice.

Subsequently the palace was a flurry of activity for the next few days. Thankfully, the Jack was very occupied with organizing the event, so the Chosen were let off for their lessons for the week. Unfortunately, this meant more spare time to be coerced into help prepare for the huge Meeting, which meant groaning noises and rolling eyes. But after the day was done and the right wing of the palace was deemed 'presentable' (Arthur thought it looked bloody brilliant to him), although he had to ask why there was a gym of some sort in the smack bang of it.

"You know, Alfred likes to play sport here! He calls his buddies up here and we have a good scrimmage!" the same fair-haired general named Matthias, said good naturedly, arranging his badges merrily. Arthur took the fact that he did not address Alfred with the 'Prince' prefix as a sign that they were very close friends, and moved on, doing a quick bow before going to his and Leon's meeting place.

More free time meant more talks with who Arthur was quickly considering to be one of his more… _closer_ friends, and Leon was there already, apparently just browsing as he was turned towards a bookcase.

"Ah, there you are, Arthur! Like, sit down!" he called, quickly whipping around after seeming to inspect a book for another moment, both of them finding plush chairs, like the ones Alfred and Arthur had sat down on their first date.

"Sorry for being late, Leon! I had just bumped into one of the generals from the Joker attack, and we had a small talk. He's named Matthias, I think?"  
The brunette perked up at the sound of his name, and nodded.

"Yes, one of the head generals! He and Alfred were totally best friends when they were kids."  
"That's interesting, how did you know?"  
Leon blushed a little, and seemed to shoot a glance at one of the bookcases before reply.

"You know, that first day me and the prince had our date? The fair-haired guard who led me there, we had a little chat. His name's Emil, and he's pretty nice. Apparently, he isn't from here. He was from Clubs, and Matthias and his husband, Lukas, adopted him. He worked in Lukas's bar before being drafted here. That's, like, totally sad, the draft, but he says he's happy. He's really nice."  
"I see, you've made a friend inside the palace. That's great!" Arthur exclaimed, and his friend nodded in reply.

"Talking about dates….me and Alfred had another date, three days ago! It was so sweet, he went walking with me and held my hand!"  
The blonde's face immediately fell, and he fought to keep up a happy face, a happy one for his pretty much best friend, but Leon had already noticed, with glee lighting in his face.

"I knew it! I totally called it! You're definitely in love with him! Mark, you owe me your jacket!" Leon cheered, jumping up and doing a victory round around the table.  
"W-What? I'm not! It's not like that at all!" Arthur protested, but if the pink tint on his cheeks were anything to go by, it was just like it.

"Aw YEAH! This is the best week ever! Tell me one more thing-have you kissed him yet?"

"N-No!" the blush intensified, and Leon simply couldn't hold back his triumphant laughter, throwing his fist to the air in celebration.

"You did! You totally did! Now Mark has to give me his _pants_!"

"Don't tell me you're expecting him to run around the palace naked!"  
"Now you mention it…sounds like a good idea! I'll ask him to do that when the prince chooses you to be the next Queen!"  
"Leon, he wouldn't do that!"  
"Why not? You're funny, nice, sassy, smart, sweet…sometimes, and you look nice. Not to mention your singing!"  
"What do you mean, my _singing_?"  
"You forget our rooms are right next to each other's. You sing almost every freaking night in the shower. Even my maid likes to hear you sing. What else do the people want out of their queen? You're so good at magic as well, and I barely managed to switch my block! Who would want _me_ to be their husband, let alone a Queen?" Leon sighed, suddenly looking awfully dejected, snuffling slightly.

A loud coughing of some sorts came from around the bookcase. Startled, Arthur quickly realized that they were probably not alone. He got up from his chair and awkwardly squeezed his friend's shoulder.

"Leon…I think you're worrying over something foolish. You've got so many amazing qualities."  
"Like what?"  
"You're fearless. You say what you _want_ to say, not what other people would like to hear. You can make everyone laugh at your jokes more than I can try. And that's just scratching the surface."

"Do…do you really think so? I mean, even if Prince Alfred doesn't want me, then what happens after the Deciding?"  
"He likes you for sure, the other day we were talking, and he told me that he thinks very highly of you," Arthur interjected, but Leon wasn't even finished.

"And that's another thing! Both of you go on and on about anything, and when we have our dates we end up watching a movie together while we stuff our faces with popcorn, or we play cards, while both of you just go on and on! When he eliminates me, I don't have to return to the holding facilities, I think we're given a stipend as well as the money we received from being part of it. I guess they'll just view me as a rich kid, and nothing more. Who's going to marry me?"  
"You just need time, Leon. He just needs to feel a little more comfortable, that's all. I can imagine that there's going to be a huge queue of suitors ready to sweep you off your feet. But you _don't_ really want a queue, yes?"  
"I only want one person to love me as much as I love them," Leon mumbled, fiddling with his jacket.

"Was there someone in your holding facility? You seem to have someone in mind."

"No one, of course not! I made a handful of friends, yes, but…no one I met I was interested in romantically. Duh." he replied quickly, shaking his head firmly.

"Is it Alfred? I mean, you seem to genuinely like him. Even if you don't feel a real connection, you might just need some time." Arthur pressed.

"Yeah. Ye-yeah, it's probably him. Just a few late jitters from before the huge Meeting and stuff. Anyway, I think that it's going to be totally huge! What did you do? Did you do decorations, or anything like that? Tell me!"  
The abrupt change of subject confused the slightly taller blonde, but he went along with it, noting his friend's awkward discomfort.

* * *

it was a mystery whether mark ran around the palace naked the next day or not

apparently, in the first drafts of _The Selection_ the prince had a dog, so I decided to add Hero to make up for the angst in future chapters

updating will still be normal for a while. reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing!


	15. Secrets and Jealousy

i didn't get much done this week because the weather in hong kong was (still is) _so_ cold! my hands were seriously numb and i couldn't seem to use the caps lock button

5,000 views in total and 57 reviews. thank you _all_ so much, only at sixteen, now seventeen chapters. i've never expected this story to go as far as it has.

fanfiction was a little buggy and it didn't show that i updated and apparently three days later i put up a new chapter? but more people saw it? **_? ? ? ? ? ?_**

queen castle, thank you for asking me to go to sleep earlier. nights when i'm restless are the ones where i usually update so the folks on the other side can see it. auto upload? i'm not sure how that works, sorry. thank you for your criticism! i know my prose is pretty _ew_ , and this story was cheesier than i intended it to be (i was planning for al and art to only _confess_ on chapter twenty, ha) but i agree, so it really helps and improves the story. i'll think of changing the schedule, if you wish.

GalacticSpoon...*hugs back* and pastaaddict probably, but the timing's a little...different. ( ु•⌄• )

i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to _kiera cass_ and _hidekaz himaruya_ respectively.

by the way, this chapter might be easier to understand if you've read chapter eight, or the chapter called _Hearts_. Enjoy!

* * *

And thank goodness everything came together on the day of the Meeting. Crowds and crowds of carriages and men arrived on the palace come Monday, and the boys and girls ran to the window as the last of the flower arrangements were being put up, clamouring excitedly among each other. The chrome-yellow carriage pulled by brown mares from Diamonds rolled in front of the gates first, followed by the scarlet compartment with the jet black horses of Hearts and the jade green carriage with snow white ponies from Clubs hot on their heels.

With several Decidings going on simultaneously, the stampede of people from the palace were a lot louder than usual. Arthur craned his neck over to try to find Kiku in the clusters, but Yao tapped him on the shoulder and told him not to peek until later with an amused expression.

They were called out to the garden, where the sprawling lawns were a perfect venue for the masses of people. Large tented pavilions were strewn around the land, with food and refreshment stands. There were more guards, some wearing pale yellow, blue and red uniforms, the Clubs guards being so used to the cold that they were allowed to wear ankle trousers and t shirts. A podium was set up in front of white folding chairs, and people milled about, getting ready to sit.

"Hey, guys, is there anyone else you're waiting for?" Emma sang, wearing a light dress with a flower burst at one shoulder.

"Werl, there was someone who I had made friends with in my neighbourhood, her name was Scarlet. I think she was in the Hearts Deciding, I am not sure." Sakura said, she had shed her long, excessive sleeves for the day in favour of a strapless pink dress.

She had been one of the few Chosen to not apply for a position in the holding facilities, one of the main reasons being that she was not eligible. She had celebrated her eighteenth birthday when the cut off year for all applicants was sixteen, which meant that she was going to turn twenty this year. It was not abnormal for a Chosen to be a few years older than the monarch, but her appearance misled many people, which meant her demeanour appeared a lot more mature than her looks. How she got into the Deciding was because her family had enough of a reputation and rank as to purloin one of the forms.

"I have a friend whose name is Kiku. He's in the Hearts deciding, I guess I'll go over there and peek. Sakura, would you like to come?"

"I wourd be preased to! Goodbye, Mark, Emma, Leon," she said lightly, waving to them before motioning to her friend.

Emma waved back, and Mark gestured with his fork, his face stained with pasta sauce, and Leon gave a smile underneath a tent, not seeming to want to move from his position.

* * *

"So, who is this Kiku-san?" she asked, tucking her chin into her chest as they walked.

"Well, he is a lot like you appearance wise, and he's of exotic descent. He likes to read a lot of manga, and he likes cats. Kiku's also very clever, and he has a natural gift for magic."  
"He sounds very interesting! I wourd be happy to meet him. Ah, there they are-Scarlet! Scarlet, I'm here!"

Arthur swivelled around to see a girl with brown hair up in buns and a pale red shirt, who was waving frantically.

"Sakura!" she called, and they both hugged each other, as Arthur watched politely.

"I hoped you'd be here! How are you doing?"

"I'm doing great, what about you? I hope you are good as well. Is the prince attractive?"  
"Ah…he is very attractive. We went out for a few dates, and he has been rearly nice every time! I rearly do rike him!" Sakura exclaimed, blushing slightly.

"Humph, he has okay looks I suppose, but he looks really cute! Where's Mei? Are she and David all right? They came here with you, yes?" Scarlet asked, wearing an enthusiastic expression.

Sakura's face fell for a moment, before shaking her black bangs.

"Mei got eriminated the first day, but I know she has been okay! She has written to me! And David's fine, he's gotten a few dates with the prince as werl."

"That must be awful for her. I thought she was gonna do great, and-oh, sorry, I failed to acknowledge your presence. My name's Scarlet, and it's nice to meet you. What's yours?" she said quickly, turning to Arthur and extending her hand, bowing swiftly, instead of a girl's usual curtsy.

"My name's Arthur. It is nice to meet you too. I take it that you met my friend here in her neighbourhood?" he replied, bowing back and kissing her hand lightly.

"Y-Yes, of course!" Scarlet stuttered, taken a little aback by his gesture.

"He did that when he met Emma-chan, one of my other friends. He says that it's because of his gentleman tendencies."  
"That is true! Oh, yes, by the way, do you know someone in your Deciding that's called Kiku?" Arthur pressed politely.

"Kiku…do you mean Honda boy? That's the person, what about him?" Scarlet questioned, tipping her head to one side.

"Yes, that's him. Is he still in your Deciding? Is he here?"

"He's doing very well. I was chatting with him just earlier in the carriage-oh, here he comes. KIKU!" she bellowed, Arthur taking a step back.

"Don't underestimate a girl's shouting just because she is a female," Sakura commented quietly, a small smile on her face.

"I think I've learned that lesson the hard way!"

"Arthur!" came the call, and the two best friends met once again.

"I _said_ that we'd see each other again," Arthur grinned, and Kiku nodded warmly.

They had both now seated on the folding out chairs, waiting for the assorted members of the Primary Suits to address the crowds with an opening speech. They'd decided to sit next to Leon and Toris, who'd Arthur had a nice chat with as they took a few refreshments at the no drip food table.

"Where's Feliks? I remember you wrote to me before about him."  
"Ah…he was sent home," Toris interjected, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Did the King of Hearts not like him? From what I could gather, he seems like a rather good chap."  
"No, it's not like that. The King already has a romantic…interest. You know, the Jack of Hearts. The Hearts Deciding wants a Queen, a supportive monarch, who can rule and have a way with magic."  
"Toris-san has been doing very well in our magic lessons lately,"  
"Yes, but it has only been due to your help. He is the top of the class," the brunette shot back, pulling at his cufflinks in a nervous tick.

"That's what happened in our holding facility, we had a beginner class and he was legendary as well! I was really amazed, and he offered to improve my magic if I managed to fix his English, which I did."  
"That is to be expected of Arthur-san, he is very flattering-" Kiku began, but he was interrupted by a coughing of the microphone.

"We're sorry for the delay, there were a few issues. But the event will now begin, everyone please take your places." The Jack of Spades was now at the podium, a sheaf of papers in his arms.

Next to him, Alfred and Matthew stood, bedecked in their fancy royal repertoire.

Behind them, the other Primary Suits were sitting each as threesomes except for Hearts, who looked rather relaxed as they were missing their Queen, as the Jack was nattering about something and hanging off the slightly embarrassed King. Not that Spades themselves weren't missing their own…

The Diamonds King, King Francis, was talking to Queen Lili, patting her shoulder lightly and gesturing, while the Jack, Vash, was surveying the crowd with a tight expression, but the Queen was squeezing his hand.

The Clubs Suit was looking rather terse, with the Jack and Queen both talking quickly to the King, who seemed to be agreeing with their words, but he was obviously distracted, his gaze flighty.

As Yao continued to speak, he managed to keep his gaze firmly on the common assembled crowd, determinedly not flickering his eyes to any of the other Suits. Arthur took this as a sign of utmost confidence, which meant that he did not have to look to others for confirmation of what he said.

King Ivan's voice was booming, and even though he obviously meant well, his voice had an unfortunate naturally menacing tinge to it that made Toris very uncomfortable and squirm in his seat. The Clubs Queen, Elizabeta, was a lot more soothing, that a voice of a mother, elaborating on policy changes. The Jack, Roderich, did not say much, but added that all decisions made by their Suit were at their discretion only, because he was disturbed halfway by his young daughter, Vienne, whose parents, the Queen and Jack, smiled fondly upon. The trio of them, being Toris, Arthur and Kiku, wondered at the very vague meaning, but did not discuss among themselves as the Diamonds were coming up.

The King of Diamonds, Francis, was still as slimy as Arthur thought him to be. His opening speech was accentuated with a flirtatious remark about the Spades Kingdom, then a small tweak to the pronoun to cater for the men as well. Queen Lili was quiet, although her speech had more substance than the King's (at least, that's what Arthur thought.) The Jack's was probably the most…interactive, elaborating on war-speech, throwing in a few menacing twirls of his baton.

"And now, we'll go to Hearts concerning their recent Deciding. King Ludwig?" Jack Yao motioned, and the young King got up, his slicked back blonde hair looking a little bit more scruffy than usual.

"Everyone that is attending today, I will be here today to elaborate on the Deciding process for Hearts. Since we do not require the romantic interest that could possibly be invested in the candidate, the elimination process has been rather swift. The Jack and I have had both collaborated on this as to find the Queen that best suits our Kingdom's needs. Now it is my pleasure to welcome our newest monarch, crown Prince of Spades Alfred." he smiled warmly.

"Good show, Lud," Alfred muttered under his breath, they had both been best friends when they were still princes, and they still had a history together. It was only due to Hearts legislation that had let him ascend to the throne when he was eighteen, in contrast to Spades' requirement for a Queen.

"Hi, guys! It's me, Prince Alfred! I'm here to report on my Deciding!" he exclaimed, the volume of his voice causing the microphone to squeal, the Jack wincing at the noise and Prince Matthew face palming.

Arthur sighed, shaking his head.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

When the long speeches were finally over and at least 99% of all the people gathered were bored, except for the Jokers, who amused themselves by pulling petals out of flowers telepathically, they were adjourned to the dining hall come early evening. Apparently, they were expected to dance, and that alone was enough for Arthur to run to the hills. But having Kiku and Toris's company as along with his usual group was comforting as they clapped along with the music, that is-

-until Alfred swept into the group and asked Sakura to dance.

Arthur felt slightly gutted, but didn't think much of it as he managed to make conversation with Kiku. He knew that his long time best friend could see his strained expression and guess the meaning behind it, but he just hoped Toris and the rest of his friends wouldn't.

And he realised that they didn't as Alfred pulled Emma out for another dance, dipping her and doing all sorts of fancy tricks with the love struck brunette, who wouldn't stop breaking into a smile afterwards, twirling her bangle on her wrist excitedly. Heck, even Leon got a dance, and he'd just told Arthur the other day that he'd been having some issues. At least those were solved.

Feeling the twinge of jealousy growing a little lump in his throat, he said a quick goodbye to Kiku before charging off, not noticing the faraway dismayed gaze thrown his way.

He ran from the packed ballroom for as long as he could, before he settled, resting on the wall, thumping it as he panted from the short run. Fighting back tears, he pelted for the nearest door, to find Matthew and Gilbert making out.

"Um…guys?" he began awkwardly, and they both broke apart quickly, Matthew quickly fixing his tie and Gilbert's face turning white.

"Oh! Sorry, Arthur, we were…occupied. Uh, should we be getting back to the party, or what? I've never been one for loud, crazy things, I prefer cute, quiet ones," Gilbert said, nudging Matthew's shoulder.

"Gil, don't tease. This could be important," Matthew pouted, but interlaced his fingers with the Joker's gloved hand.

"Have they noticed our leave? Is there any sort of danger out there? You're obviously distressed, Arthur, are you all right?"  
Arthur paused, not quite sure how to answer the barrage of questions aimed at him.

"No, they're pretty occupied. I don't think anyone suspected you two were together, let alone away from the party. Whether I'm all right…it's hard to say."  
"Well, I do have the invisibility effect on some people. Never mind me anymore, eh? What's wrong, Arthur? Did something happen?"  
"Nothing really, it's just that pretty much all my friends got asked to dance, and I haven't. I mean, Emma looked so happy with Al-Prince Alfred, and Sakura was so excited to dance with him. Leon's had his doubts, but I think he's completely fine. So yes, it's-" he began, but stopped when he saw Matthew and Gilbert exchange knowing smiles.

"What's wrong? Have I said something wrong? Oh, dear, I-"

"You're nattering again, Eyebrows. I think dear Birdie here's gotten the message, yeah?"  
"Arthur, you've obviously fallen in love with my brother. I mean, you've obviously not had a chance to dance with him, and that bothers you, eh? That makes complete sense when you're attracted to someone, I remember the first Meeting after Gilbert and I got together, when he danced with the King of Diamonds I got so jealous."  
"But it was all right, Birdie, Franny's just my old friend." Gilbert chuckled, patting Arthur's back. "Good luck with that one, if your relationship gets through the Deciding, then it can go through anything."  
"It's not like that, I…okay, fine, I might be attracted to him just a little bit, but it's nothing like how either of you like each other."  
Almost immediately, they both instinctually gravitated towards each other, the Joker throwing his arm around the Ace as Matthew leaned up to kiss him, and Arthur felt that it was right to avert his eyes as they locked lips, letting out a small _ahem_ when he started to hear some slurping.

"Ah, sorry about that, Arthur. The only time where we can really meet in peace is the annual Meeting."  
"And sorry to push ya around, but, uh, I'd appreciate some privacy? I'm going to spoil my Birdie with what he really needs. Go get golden boy, he's probably got the hots for you as well."

The blonde shot the couple a grateful smile, and turned around, being sure to close the door behind himself.

Keeping this secret was getting to be more difficult than he'd ever thought.

* * *

gilbert and matthew can't keep their hands off each other they're not sorry at _all_.

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them! now before my hands turn into edible popsicles, i'll need my gloves.

i'm sorry i'm so shit with posting consistently i'm sorry orz


	16. Scarlet Heart

the system really hates this story. i'm sorry.

i _want_ to write a side story to complement the star-crossed king and jack, but i'm not sure if you would all think it was pointless babble. please tell me all about it.

sorry if this is short. it's more like a filler chapter. i wrote it earlier, but i ran it over a few times, thanks to _amethystfairy1_ , who suggested i show yao's grief more. the reason that i did not portray it earlier is because i think yao would be far more reserved, but still keeps it in his heart. these two, wow...there are really not enough words to talk about russia x china. their love is unparalleled by simply how _desperate_ they are for each other. i hope the need to stay together won't turn destructive.

also, general winter makes his cameo! he's not a nice person, unfortunately.

 _otto_ -ottoman empire (in this story, ottoman and turkey are two people. what can i say)

i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to _kiera cass_ and _hidekaz himaruya_ respectively.

* * *

The throbbing, burning sensation in his heart wouldn't stop.

He'd been shooting glances at him for the entire day, even with the opening speeches, and now when he was dancing, out of politeness, of course, with the King of Hearts, he could feel his jealous glare boring into his back.

He'd grabbed his arm, tugging him out into the hallway to discuss 'trade relations', but he found himself being pressed into a hungry, open mouthed kiss, which he quickly recoiled from in surprise, stepping a little away from him.

"What are you doing? There could be guards around!" he gasped, but the platinum blonde shook his head.

"They're not here, I checked. This hallway's empty, Yao-Yao."  
The brunette turned left and right, and relaxed after he saw that there was no one there.

"How are you doing? I hope that you have been well these past months, da? Have you told little Alfred?"  
The Jack tensed, and shook his head.

"He's not a little boy anymore, sunflower, it's just…it's been so lonely these months. I mean, Al's been with his bunch, and Matthew's almost always so busy doing goodness knows what. I think they just don't need me anymore. That's why I decided to contact you. I'm so lonely…" the Jack felt his perfect composure, his untethered record, crumple to his feet in the presence of his beloved, gripping his long, excessive jacket and burying his face into it, just like he had eight years ago, when they were frightened and alone, but together.

* * *

 _"_ _And the man of the hour, the new Jack chosen by the Clock, Yao Wang!"  
The sixteen year old worried at his long sleeves behind his back, trying to walk as smoothly as he could, as how his late mother had taught him._

 _Oh, how much he missed her warm smile, her comforting words. He'd just wished he could turn the clock around and just be back at his scholarship at the Clubs studying facility, with his mess of books and papers, his best friend Otto, and the cute soldiers, with their broad chests and even broader smiles, except from an incredibly tall bastard, with childish violet orbs and a wide smile, tinged by incredible sadness that festered in his eyes._

 _The first time he had seen him, Yao had been reading his textbook on Clubs military history absentmindedly, raising his head to peer out the window to stare at him. He heard the slap of the whip, and he instinctively flinched, surveying the crowd of the usual boys, and he wasn't there. Then the pain, the crying out, made Yao want to drop his expensive book and cover his ears, but he had to settle to grip the thick cover and closing his eyes. His schoolmaster was no foe to whipping students, but it was only when it was when they were exceptionally misbehaving, such as the time he'd spilled hot tea all over his scriptures book by accident. He'd gotten ten lashes for that, and he still had a few scars from those. Otto, however, had had received a handful of punishments, and his back had lacerations from his lower back to his nape. He'd cried every time._

 _But the general out there was part of another league, Yao had seen him whip his soldiers for coming last when they ran or if their exercises that they performed were too sloppy. Their world was a lot more dangerous, a lot more cold than the one Yao was used to-a pampered life of being part of a potential Primary Suit, learning all that his mind could hold. He was as safe as possibly could be-except the nights where he'd miss his mother, longed for her even_ _…_ _and allowed himself to cry._

 _And out there, beyond the secure, warm walls of his home, would the soldier be crying, too?_

* * *

"Do not worry, Yao. I will do everything I can to make sure that you are happy."  
"Are you happy that…we stayed together, despite everything?"  
"Yes. I mean, Elizabeta and Roderich know, but they're the only people who know we still talk to each other. They don't know of the heir, yes?"  
"Ivan," Yao's voice had turned strict now, "you mustn't tell anyone. This…this _plan_ of yours is ridiculously dangerous. Don't you already have an heir to the throne, after all? Isn't Vienne due to take the position?"  
"I know! But she's not my daughter; she's Elizabeta and Roderich's. I just want to show you how much I love you, with a child of our own."  
"There are other ways to show love! And what if our child is treated like a child of an Ace and a Joker? We're from other Kingdoms, Ivan. I…even though I'd love to raise our child, they'll be tethered tightly across both Kingdoms. And you know I cannot travel to Clubs that often, my clock is to Spades and Spades only."  
"Wasn't there a time other than that? You act like your entire life was born for this position!"  
"Of course there was! That was the reason I ran to Hearts with you, ten years ago. I love you as much as I loved you then, just please, please, understand that things are harder now than then. Your people chose you, my Clock chose me. I can't belong to you the same way that I did then…! You have a duty now, things have _changed_!"

Tears started to fall from the Jack's eyes as he wrapped his arms around himself, shaking his head almost angrily at himself, shirking away from the larger figure.

"Yao-Yao…you must not cry. You will belong to me and I will belong to you, no matter what we do. Our bond is too strong, if we can get through anything together, including everything the court do to make me fall in love!" the King interjected, wrapping his arms slowly around his forbidden lover, patting his back gently.  
"Do you love any of them? Anyone at all?" Yao insisted, gripping his shirt almost angrily.

"I do not! How could I, I promised myself to you! Since the beginning, I could not get you out of my head. Do remember our first dance?"

"What about it?"  
"I remember very vividly now…you were just chosen as Jack, and it was your first dance. And you gave it to _me_ , in front of the entire Kingdom then!" he giggled, the joy coming back to his violet eyes.

* * *

 _He could see Otto's excited gaze, although he wasn't one to choose a dance partner with. Even though he was his best friend, his footsteps trembled and were uncertain, and he was definitely not the best dancing partner. King Francis was in the corner, but Yao didn't want to dance with him-he had his beautiful wife, Queen Jeanne, to dance with at the same time. Prince Ludwig of Hearts, even though he was only three years younger than the Jack, seemed rather clumsy for a dancer, and as for Prince Alfred_ _…_ _he'd tried to teach the young prince. However_ _…_ _that was a big mistake._

 _Alfred was around ten years of age, and scarfing down loads of food each day, which was expected of a growing boy, but he did eat a lot even for said growing boy._

 _He'd gotten a lot taller-and heavier. Let's just keep it short and to the point._

 _They didn't get through half an hour of dancing before Yao had to be patched up for a few broken bones on both of his feet._

 _Alfred was awfully embarrassed at this point, and decided to express his gratitude by asking Yao to not ever teach him how to dance ever again. He'd happily accepted the offer, so that left-_

 _-his object of his affections for a long time, Prince Ivan, heir to the throne._

 _Yao swallowed tightly, and calmly extended his hand to his, taking his firmly._

 _"_ _In light of the recent up rise in relations with the Clubs Kingdom, I will be requesting Prince Ivan's hand in accompanying me with my first official dance."  
The crown prince's cheeks flowed with red, and Yao gave him a half pleading look._

 _"_ _V-Very well, if you wish to dance with me, I will happily accept," he finished; shooting him a smile, and engulfing Yao's slightly sweaty palm with his large, cool hand. His sister, the Ace of Clubs Katya, smiled fondly, tucking back a lock of her hair._

 _As they took up their place in the middle of the ballroom, his hand on Ivan's waist, (being his first dance, he was expected to take the male's position, which was awful because he was at Ivan's height_ _…_ _the height of his chest, that is), smiling up at him, and feeling the swell of the music and how his hand fit so perfectly into his, it felt impossibly right._

* * *

"It would take me over a thousand years for me to forget," Yao said softly, and finally, _finally_ , after months of missing him and stolen looks separated by a screen, he pressed his mouth to his, and Ivan's hands went inside his oversized sleeves, cupping his elbows and pulling his body flush against his, stealing a deeply needed kiss as Yao's hands carded through his soft hair, the King of Clubs replying by pressing him tightly against a wall.

"T-They'll kill us if they find us doing this," Yao gasped as they broke apart for breath.

"You know that spending more time away from you is going to be my cause of death," he said solemnly, tenderly, and Yao smiled endearingly, his eyes softened with his love, and cupped his face again.

"Wouldn't that be a shame? The most attractive person in the history of Cards…dead because of lack of affection?"  
"That's not true, because it's you-mm!" he yelped, as Yao quickly pressed the corners of his mouth against his to shut him up, but footsteps disturbed the pair, a loud mess of chatter and talk.

"There's someone coming! Quick, Ivan, run!" he gasped, and the taller one pressed his lips tightly against his before fleeing, his green robes flowing out behind him.

The Jack looked from left to right, before pressing his palm against the door and mumbling a quick incantation before stumbling into a safe room, slamming the door quickly behind him, his heart pounding and his cheeks flushed.

"I promise, I _will_ see you again," he gasped, imprinting the words on the small, green band on his finger.

* * *

guys what are you doing you'll die for this

 _oh. wait, you are-_

reviews, favourites and follows are my motivation, so please go ahead and leave them! my writing this week has been slumping this week, urgh. doing all of those things will get me writing for sure


	17. Rain

thank you for all the tips/criticism, i'll probably give the entire 50k words a brief run through before my holidays (find and replace is a GOD). there's so much for me to improve writer-wise, and all your reviews really do help. keep 'em coming! thank you all for seventy reviews. let's get to one hundred and above!

also, nice to see people starting to ship rochu. come be rom-coms with us.

 _queen castle_ (i almost certainly know who you are), thanks for the tips. and _guest_ , the power of **mpreg**! who knows, maybe they might not get together.

 _the author proceeds to laugh like a yandere._

i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to _kiera cass_ and _hidekaz himaruya_ respectively.

* * *

Making his way back to the crowded ballroom, Arthur straightened his tie again, and quickly made his way to Toris and Kiku.

"Oh, hello, Arthur. Where did you go? It's been fifteen minutes," Toris asked, giving him a friendly smile.

"Oh…you know, out and about. Uh, have you gotten a dance yet?"

"Not yet! But maybe because I told them I'm a taken person. You know, something like that. Kiku got asked, though…he said no."

"Really?"

"Yes, the person who asked looked sort of confused. Then Kiku ran off…you know, he's been really upset recently."  
"Since when?" Arthur's tone was laced with concern for his friend, all jealousy and his own problems being washed away in a heartbeat.

"Um…you know, sometime after the draft. I mean, the guys who left. Kiku seemed to always be at the window, watching them run. Don't get me wrong, it's not like they're not attractive, it's just that I've got someone in mind already. But his gaze was listless…is he all right? Has something happened? You must know something, yes?"  
Arthur bit his lip, and shook his head. Heracles was a secret to be kept between them…but Toris was trustworthy enough in a way.

"I can't really tell you-but Kiku really is upset. He…fell for someone taken away by the draft, and it's a sensitive topic. Don't tell him I told you this."  
"Right, I'll keep my mouth closed," Toris assured, before quickly bowing.

Arthur was startled as he followed suit, but as he looked up Alfred's handsome face was in his field of vision.

"Yo, Arthur! How are you tonight? Is this your friend?"  
The brunette shot him a look that said 'did the crown prince of Spades just say the word _yo_?'

Arthur shot Toris an exasperated _yes_ in reply, and turned back to reply.

"First of all, Prince Alfred, it's not very proper to say the word _yo_ when you're the prince. Second of all, I'm doing fine, thank you. Thirdly…yes, he's my friend from Hearts. His name's Toris."

"Pleasure, Your Highness."

"It's nice to meet you too! And does it really matter what I say? I'm just trying to fit in with the crowd!"

"Yes," Arthur said drily.

"Yeah, okay, whatever!" Alfred bluffed, Toris hiding an amused smile behind his gloved palm, "the thing is, I was gonna ask you to dance with me. Like now."

The blonde instantly looked up, and nodded slowly.

"That sounds delightful, Your Highness."

"I hope you've taken dance lessons before you left your facility," Alfred said as he led him away.

* * *

Unfortunately, Arthur had not.

He wasn't the worst dancer compared to Mark's signature 'step on your foot and run away blushing' moves, but he definitely wasn't the smoothest of dancers to ever walk on the earth. After what seemed like the thirty hundredth stumble, Alfred pulled him off the floor. Confused, Arthur quickly ran a list of good and bad things he'd done, then stopped after realizing that the bad far outweighed the good.

"What's wrong?" he questioned when Alfred was tugging him down the hallway.

"You'll see! Just come on, you'll like the surprise!" he chuckled.

"We're going outside? Weren't we going to dance?" Arthur asked.

"I'll teach you one day! I don't want you nearly stepping on my feet again!" he retorted.

"But it's pouring, not to mind that you have to tend to the officials!" Arthur protested, but quickly found that he couldn't give a stuff about the officials.

"It just makes it cooler! Ah, here we are," he said, grabbing hold of the doorknob and wrenching it open, showing a balcony, speckled with the rain.

Alfred ran outside, closing his eyes and raising his face to the sky, giving a dreamy sigh. Arthur's gaze softened, remembering the fact that Alfred probably had spent most of his child confined inside the palace, not having any time to spend with other people outside of the castle.

"Come outside, Artie."

He was instantly greeted with the small raindrops of a light drizzle, and the city lights shining with an array of colours, red, yellow and green among them, but the most prominent were blue. It took his breath away, and he couldn't help but look into Alfred's eyes, quickly realizing what he'd done was what he wouldn't usually do, so he quickly directed his gaze firmly against the city landscape.

"Hey, it's rude to look away. So, don't," Alfred teased, and Arthur blushed, and slowly met his gaze.

"Well, yeah. This is what I wanted to show you. Sorry I didn't ask you earlier, the advisors said I had to do my rounds with the girls and boys before I could have some spare time. So I'm choosing to spend the rest of the night with you, in the rain. What a romantic I am," he smiled boyishly, and Arthur felt a small tug in his heart.

He'd wanted to spend the rest of the night with him.

"I suppose you thought that this was going to make me swoon and go all love struck, yes? Th-there's no chance that's going to ever happen, idiot!" he complained, feeling weak in the knees.

But seeing Alfred's disappointed face made him feel a small seed of guilt. He really was trying, so why not give him a small reward in return?

And with that, he leaned on his tiptoes and gave him a ghost of a kiss on his cheek.

* * *

Feeling his face go completely red-that was uncalled for!-Alfred cleared his throat quickly, and offered a weak smile, which turned into something more as he watched Arthur's teasing emerald eyes, which were reflecting the glimmering lights of the city. He quickly drew away, shaking out his hair as he went. The rain droplets spraying Alfred's face only made his smile wider.

"You're more beautiful than the city," he murmured, and Arthur whipped his gaze to his, his cheeks set alight.

"E-Excuse me?" he hissed indignantly, his voice suddenly going high-pitched.

Alfred realised, too late, that he'd said that aloud.

"Oh my god-dude, I'm so sorry! I did-it's not like I actually _meant_ to say it, it's just-" he bluffed, feeling so flustered that he didn't notice Arthur's shy smile.

"Alfred…I think, if you're willing to give up your entire night and go against everyone's expectations _just_ to impress me…then I suppose it's my social obligation to say that I liked it…idiot."  
Alfred's cheeks were almost as red as his as the shorter boy reached out to card his fingers through his damp honey blonde hair, looking almost shyly into his eyes.

"I mean, I obviously have feelings for you, and I'm not wrong when I say you have a crush on me as well to a point…so I think it's time we both stop denying our feelings. I mean, you're probably the most beautiful thing here tonight. Not my fault I can't keep away from you."

Arthur laughed softly, breathlessly, his hair drenched from the rain, and he gripped Alfred's arm.

"Whether it is a downpour or a light drizzle, I will always be here."

"It's not fair, you're so good with your words while I just trip and stumble over them!" Alfred protested, but his eyes were shining with mirth, and he wrapped his arms around Arthur's waist.

"One cannot help being born in eloquence," the shorter blonde whispered, and this time Alfred cupped his chin and kissed him fervently, holding nothing back as he peppered Arthur's porcelain skin with whispers of affection, feeling Arthur's gasp and tight grip as the kiss deepened.

"No, I don't suppose one can," he murmured, staring deep into those mesmerising green eyes.

"You're crazy," Arthur breathed, pressing his forehead against the prince's, lightly slapping the back of his head for the brash action, but gently brushed his fingers against his wrist.

"If I try to forget my attraction to you, I'll go crazy as well," Alfred retorted, lacing his fingers with his.

"You can go as crazy if you must, see if I care," the shorter blonde teased, and went closer to him, but a crowd of footsteps alerted the pair, and he quickly pushed him back out into the rain, until they had passed.

"Come on, we should be getting back. Yao might get pissed," the crown prince hissed, and they left the balcony.

Arthur quickly pressed his palms against Alfred's mouth, his gaze panicked as he looked feverishly from side to side.

"Shh! We…we can't let anyone suspect us."

"Hey, why not? I mean, the entire point of the Deciding thing is to help me find love! And I have!"

"I know, Alfred. But you really should take it slow. I mean, you told me before that you were attracted to other people in this Deciding. So you shouldn't rush into these things without my help. " Alfred sighed, then nodded slowly, running his hand through his damp hair.

"Arthur…even after now, can you still help me out? I really could use your help."

"Not my fault you can't handle yourself in public, so I will simply try to correct those garish manners of yours…not like I'm doing this for you or anything," he replied, and they both quickly made their way back to the crowded ballroom.

* * *

stop being so cute we're going to get diabetes

as always, review, favourite and follow! that'll make me write and decrease your waiting time for chapters, thank you very much.


	18. Discouraged

hello again! i'll probably be updating from japan, seeing that I'm going on a holiday tomorrow! (hETALIA MERCH HERE I COME-)

 _kingdomkeepers77,_ here's a short guide on _Aces_ in this universe:

1\. They're usually siblings of the to-be King. They're like the spare in heir and spare. And yes, every kingdom has one, except for when there is only one heir.

2\. The magic they have is...unpredictable, to say the least. Most Aces have a weak brand of magic, a few don't have magic, and a handful have very powerful magic.

3\. They're _definitely_ not supposed to have children, just in case they inherit dangerous magic. Especially not with Jokers, with their mischief. Oh, Matthew...

4\. The Aces manage the economy, taxes and trading with other countries. They can also fill another Primary Suit's position for up to five years.

 _QT,_ if you can find a way to, go ahead! _pastaddict,_ hopefully you won't have to arrange an appointment with your doctor. i'm afraid i don't have the money to pay :')

 _David_ -Thailand

 _Avie_ -Czech

 _Sonja_ -Kenya

I know Kenya's not a canon character, but I love the idea of the African countries, like Anna, who is probably Madagascar at this point ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to _kiera cass_ and _hidekaz himaruya_ respectively.

* * *

At least Arthur was good at keeping secrets. He'd not even let a single hint slip to anyone, except Leon, that Alfred had kissed him. Multiple times. Or taken him out during the huge Meeting, even when he was grilled about it in the Broadcast, when everyone seemed just a little tense, even the usually composed Jack. It was probably due to the stress put on the sole kingdom from the others. He'd been reluctant to let Kiku go full heartedly with the knowledge of his looming grief, but settled with a bunch of letters and Toris's promises of help if he really needed to. Everyone except the members of the Primary Suits of the other Kingdoms had left, due to security reasons, which neither of them understood.

Arthur knew he could quickly stir up some sort of superiority if he told everyone else that he'd been kissed, but he preferred to keep the secret to himself, savouring it in spare times when he was slouching through another few boring lessons or a few dull afternoons-thinking about his sweet gestures when the times seemed fit.

Of course, it wasn't like he was in love with him or anything; but even so, his heart wouldn't let him fall completely in love with Alfred just yet. His heart was stubborn, yes, but it kept him from falling into irrational decisions…for now. But it left him in a position that made him run his thoughts over what Kiku had said, that he had something to fight for, not just for a life away from the constricting holding facility. But sometimes, his heart burst with the want to blurt out his secret-

-Especially three days later, when David pelted into the almost full Drawing Room and announced that Alfred had kissed him.

Arthur felt crushed beyond his own expectations of himself, and ran over his details in his mind. He was nice enough, and he had a good sense of humour, but he'd stammered in the Broadcast a handful of times, and he didn't seem that confident in his own right.

However, the others were a lot more enthusiastic, Leon being the most curious of the bunch. With the Deciding going on for a little more than a month, most of the Chosen were now growing more curious on everyone else's progress than they had been previously. No one was really sure what the motives or happenings were between the shift in interest, and no one had really wanted to bring up the question in fear of making them a target.

"Go on! Tell us all the juicy details!" he insisted.

David had already happily launched into the tale, sitting on a separate couch from most of the girls and boys, who had gathered in a cluster near him.

"Well, I'd like to keep the most special details to myself, but if I must say, it was very romantic," he said dreamily, tipping his head to one side. "He sent me a letter asking if he could see me in my room-as if I'd say no!-and when he got there, we didn't really say much, he just squeezed my hand and blushed a little, and then he kissed me!" he let out a small laugh behind his hand.

Arthur raised an eyebrow. Sakura bit her lip. Marianne looked prepared to flip a table on the spot.

Of course, it was important to him-not like he really wanted to make a fuss, because it was the Deciding, after all, and he'd told Alfred to carefully consider his options before running with just one person. To be honest, it was a good thing he seemed to be spending his time with other people-to broaden his choices. It showed that the crown prince was really taking his advice seriously. Besides, he knew Marianne wasn't exactly the friendliest girl in the palace, and he was concerned about what measures she would take to get her paws on the prince, or the crown. There were some people who weren't even romantically interested in Alfred, and seemed to have formed an attachment to the crown and the power. In Arthur's opinion, they wouldn't really get that far for Alfred's hand-he was a person that thrived on love.

"Do you think the prince's only kissed him?" Avie hissed near his ear, and Emma was quick to pick up on her question.

"Well, I don't think Alfred's one to just give kisses away. He must be doing something right-and for a reason."

"Yep! He's a nice guy, but still! What if he's secretly snogged half of the room and they're sucking on their lollies keeping quiet on purpose?" Avie reasoned.

"That would be unwise, now we're at the month mark people might want to show their positions at where they're at with the prince. And what if someone didn't mean it as a strategy? Some people are a lot less open than with others," Arthur countered, hoping that they wouldn't see through his smokescreen.

"You could be right, but what if David's lying? I mean, with what happened with Leila and the time she lied about getting her date, I don't think any of us would dare ask Alfred himself. Now he's got us all worried about our standings." Emma fretted, worrying at a stray strand of hair.

"I don't know him that well. Do you think he did?"

"If he did, then that's a great strategy. I wish I'd thought of it myself first," Avie sighed, casting her brown gaze to the little crowd gathered around the raven-haired boy.

"I guess that's the reason we're all talking, I mean now it's stepped up and there's only twenty of us left, so that's why we're all tense."

"I just don't like fighting. I think you're all really nice, you too, Avie, even though we don't really talk much, you're pretty nice as well. I don't like to fight or feel competitive with you guys, I mean, we're so on edge every time we compare what the prince has done with us, but we really can't control what he does with us, yes?"

"I was talking about this the other day with Ellie as well. We both really don't have a reason to get angry at each other, even if she's gotten one more date than I have. He's pretty cute, even though I do want the crown myself."

Emma and Arthur exchanged a glance, the same thought running through their minds in the moment.

 _She said the crown, not the prince._

But they decided not to push it, the last thing either of them needed were more enemies, but one part of the talk had resonated with both of them.

"Leon and I were discussing the other day. He wasn't feeling very well about his chances, but we talked about the good things about each other. Our worst critics lie within ourselves, after all. Now he's a lot more confident, thank goodness."

The tension had diffused by this point, and now Arthur felt a lot more at ease with the entire situation. He didn't feel so disgruntled with Marianne or so at odds with David anymore. After all, they were going through the Deciding process together, whether it was for the prince himself, like Sakura and Emma, or for the crown, like Avie.

"Staying ourselves is pretty important in this competition as well. I mean, people changing themselves to try to improve their odds of impressing Alfred? That's just worse than a lot of things. We really can't do anything except be ourselves. In the end, it's what Alfred really likes that will get the person to be chosen. I'd rather be sent home for being myself instead of being kept here for someone I'm not. I just hope that I'm enough." Emma reasoned, scratching the back of her neck bashfully.

"That's a good point. I mean, in the end, twenty-nine of us will be going home. I'd want to be at least tolerated by the rest of the people than being horrible to everyone else and be hated by them. So I think being supportive is the better option."

The three of them exchanged glances, knowing that the other's opinions made more sense. The negative feelings drained from the room, Arthur started to relax.

Suddenly, Sonja burst into the room, with Clare taking notice first, standing up quickly to greet her in an exchange of flurried words.

Sonja was usually one of the more tranquil people in the bunch, never one to get in a fight deliberately, but today she turned her gaze excitedly to the entire room, her voice louder than usual.

"Look at these trinkets! Aren't they beautiful? Alfred gave them to me!" she cried, holding up a jewel that sparkled in contrast with the chandeliers.

This sent the room into another excited frenzy, and the newborn positivity disappeared in a blink of an eye.

Arthur tried hard not to hide his disappointment as he watched Sonja spread out her lilac dress, which contrasted well with her dark skin, and crossed her legs demurely, imitating a princess's act. Even as other people banded together and shared the stories of their romantic dates with the prince, the blond felt more and more uncomfortable. Maybe today was a day meant to be spent in the library reading more books.

Unfortunately, as he got up to leave, the Jack entered the room, looking slightly frazzled and very, very relieved as he came to a stop.

"Everyone, you're needed for the closing event of the Meeting. The other members of the other suits are leaving this afternoon," he huffed, and everyone rose to their feet, the elegant stampede of dress shoes and high heels alike becoming a natural sound after his extended stay into the palace.

* * *

The garden was set out with the exact same layout like it had been almost a week ago. Arthur was amused that they had managed to keep all the canopies immaculately white, amidst all the drip foods. It was a lot more quiet, pairs or trios instead of the large groups circling each other. The Primary Suits had a tent separate for their thrones, and almost half of them were huddled there, talking in hushed voices. Yao seemed to be discussing quietly with the King of Hearts, and the King and Jack of Diamonds were conferring, Francis having a flute of wine in his palm.

Princess Vienne, however, was very excited to see the brothers, tugging Alfred's waistcoat and dashing off playfully, hanging on Matthew's arm and babbling on and on, while they watched fondly. The shyer of the twins had a camera slung around his neck, and snapped a photo as Alfred gently fed the younger girl some cake. Nearly all the Chosen were looking at them in adoration.

"Arthur? Come meet the Queen of Clubs," a tone called. There was something about Marianne's haughty tone that made him grimace, but he decided to go anyway for the sake of good relations.

"Hello, Your Majesty," the blond said, doing a quick bow.

"It's very nice to meet you, Sir Arthur," she said warmly. She had a rough edge to her voice, which was reminiscent of an accent, but softened, no doubt from being royalty.

"I've heard she's been from a really special background, how amazing is that?" Clare threw in. Natalya was no doubt missing from this encounter, having been on high alert anywhere near Clubs.

"Well, it's nothing, dear," Queen Elizabeta said, tilting her head bashfully.

"But I'd still like to hear it!" Marianne insisted, her eyes slanted in a pleading expression. Arthur chose to stay quiet, not wanting to offend the queen.

"Nothing most of our men have been through. But yes, it's true, I used to serve in the military under the guise of a man. I preferred the actual combat than just staying at home and waiting for it to be over. I served until I was chosen as Queen. My family disowned me before that, they thought a woman should not be involved in such things. They expected me to change. Being Queen made them run to the castle and bow to my feet, calling me their loving daughter who would give anything to make them happy. They ordered me to pay their debt and give money out of my own accord. I changed then, and I decided to honour the people that really, truly loved me, and I sent them away."

"Wow," Clare gaped in a hushed tone; surprise nestled in that one small word.

"That's very admirable. Thank you for sharing," Arthur said. Thinking about what the queen had shared about her story, he decided to reflect on it as he bowed to her, thanked her once again and began to make his way to one of the tents. What would happen if he really did live the palace at the end of all this? Would he expect his family to change for him? Looking at Vienne and the brothers, as they ran around and talked, catching up, it made Arthur think of his brothers and sister; how much they enjoyed each other's company. Wouldn't…shouldn't he be happy for them to be around at times like these?

And thinking about that, how much would it mean to live at the palace, being caught up in everything feel like? Would it change him, for better or worse? Would _Alfred_ want him to? Was that why he'd been snogging other people this week? Because he was simply not good enough?

It didn't really seem like just following his advice anymore. It just wasn't that simple anymore.

Fortunately, he spotted Leon standing out in the shade, completely no one for company except a lean guard with a bird of some sorts on his shoulder.

"Leon, it's brutally hot outside here. Why don't you get under the shade?"

"No, it's okay, Arthur. The sun's, like, a lot better for me. Seriously, I'm fine."

"Well…if you really want to then go ahead," Arthur said, feeling a little annoyed, and turned away to go, but Leon gripped his shoulder.

"Hey, I just…can I talk to you later? When everyone's gone?" Leon's voice was a lot more hushed now, darting a nervous look at the guard behind them.

"Does Wednesday evening, at nine, sound good in your room?"

"Sounds totally good. Nine in the evening, yes."

* * *

Moving away, he got a few steps away before a playful voice reached his ear, and someone tapped his shoulder. Yelping, he jumped back as Alfred's baby blues flooded into his gaze.

Arthur stepped back a little more, the tension and jealousy of the morning diffusing into his mind, and he gave him a slight shake of the head.

"What's wrong? Did I do something?" Alfred smiled, patting the princess of Clubs' head as she dashed off to Matthew.

"I just…it's nothing," the shorter blond said, trying to dismiss him, his tone clipped.

Not being able to tell the atmosphere, the prince continued with the conversation.

"Hey, you need someone to talk to? I could pinch my cheek anytime," he offered, stepping a little closer.

Arthur sighed, and shook his head.

"No, it's just…I need some time and space to think. That's it. I'm feeling a little frustrated now, so it would be nice of you to give me some space." he said, starting to leave.

"Artie," the honey blond began, and he stopped retreating. "Is it because of something I did?"

He furrowed his thick eyebrows. Arthur wasn't sure whether to tell him, to ask him about the kiss with David or the presents to Sonja. Now things were a lot more complicated, with the circumstances of their relationship becoming a lot more fragile than the brief friendship they had shared, and with the sense that some of the Chosen were changing themselves for his benefit, he knew that sparking off an argument was as easy as snapping his fingers.

"No, it's-" he began, but was cut short by Natalya, who was calling his name, the Queen of Diamonds standing a little shorter than her. No doubt because she was new to her Primary Suit that Natalya wanted to make a good impression on her, to have a good name with at least one of the kingdoms. It would make it all the more special with the prince on her arm.

"Prince Alfred?" she waved, beckoning him over with her palm.

"Why don't we talk later? I'm sure we'll have time to discuss this later." Arthur said, sure that his annoyance was flowing, mingling with his words.

A look from Alfred sent the message across well. This was the Deciding. He'd told the prince himself to spend more time with the other Chosen just in case they were simply not incompatible, which Arthur was starting to believe with all the arguments they'd had. He'd not gone out of his way to keep the peace with him. Alfred wasn't supposed to spend most of his attention on just one person.

They exchanged glances once more, stormy green eyes with light blue ones, then the gaze dropped as Arthur made his way back to the castle and the prince to Natalya.

* * *

Vienne's just an OC, but she is one of two princesses in Clubs. I suppose you'll meet the younger one sometime!

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	19. Confessions and Courtship

reviews were a lil lacking this week, but thank you to everyone who did! we're almost to 100, and we're getting to 8,000 views. Wow...I'd never thought I'd get this far with my first ever real fic. **Thank you all so much.**

GalacticSpoon, ask and you shall receive! ThisIsTheEarth, i don't think alfred really knows how jealous arthur is, he's the clueless dork we all know and love. also...i'm writing that scene, if you know what i mean (spoilers!) cupcakemonkey, deciding between fruk and usuk is difficult! i ship both, but i hope this bit of fluff will tide you over ヽ(｡ゝ∀･) and finally reginefrance, thank you very much for your first time review! i'm so, so happy you have that reaction to my story hehe.

also, i tried to measure out the next chapters, and...there's only _two_ chapters left before you're going have to wait. i've been dreading this day, but your lovely reviews have inspired me to write more! leaving them now will help me writing.

oh yes, (THIS A/N IS SO LONG I'M SORRY), i originally planned to make the story more unique to the selection, but i guess if i stick to the events of the original the writing would be faster, but paragraphs of it might be copied, which would be strange...would you lovely readers prefer me to copy it completely or continue with what i'm doing now?

finally, i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to _kiera cass_ and _hidekaz himaruya_ respectively.

* * *

After dinner on Wednesday, in which everyone babbled about bits of information about the visiting royals and gossiped, Arthur decided to just eat slowly, trying to slowly drain the thought of the afternoon out of his head. I The meal was excellent, as always, and he had to smile when Hero jumped out from the doorway, yipping loudly, and seemed to be demanding a slice of chicken from his owner, even though a maid tried to appease him by leading him to his bowl.

Leon led him to his room, which was out in the corridor next to Arthur's, and shut the door quickly.

His room wasn't as blue as Arthur's; it was more of a muted red, with gold accents. The room was a little messy, a tie thrown over a blue plush chair, and a small violin parked near his bed stand.

"This is my hangout for now, it's totally cute, right?"

"Yes, I suppose so," the blond agreed, fishing out the tie before he sat in the chair.

"The door's closed, right?" Leon hissed, cuddling a pillow from his four-poster.

"Locked, like you said."

"Good." the brunette sighed, brushing away a lock of hair from his forehead before facing Arthur with a serious expression.

Suddenly, as abruptly as this meeting was scheduled, Leon placed his hands on Arthur's shoulders and shook them, with a slightly panicked look now on his face.

"Please, you have to swear to never tell a single soul," he pleaded, and the slightly taller blond nodded quickly, taken aback by the intensity of his expression, so different from who he usually was. There was clearly a reason why he'd taken him aside like this, no one else was allowed to enter his room, not even the prince.

"Of course, Leon. I'll never say a word. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's just…Alfred. You know, what I told you before the Meeting? We just talked yesterday, we went out again…and there's still nothing. I don't think it's going to work out. Like, at all." he looked down.

"What makes you think that? I mean, you said that you were going to try again, so-"

"I have! So hard! But I still can't feel _anything_. No connection, no sparks, my heart doesn't beat faster when I'm near him."

"Alfred's just a little careful with his heart. He's just trying to slowly get to know all of us, you should just give him some time. You told me about the things you liked about him, has that not changed your opinion at all?" Arthur only noticed the slip up after it was too late, but Leon seemed distressed enough not to care.

"No! I know he's attractive, and he's funny and nice, but it's just like I could only think of him as a friend! He just doesn't appeal to me at all! I can't think of romantically, however hard I try to."

Now _that_ was different-and a lot more difficult to talk him through.

"Well-have you tried liking him?"

"Yes! So, so hard! I just keep waiting for the moment that everything clicks, that changes him for me, that makes me feel so much more than 'he's nice', but it never comes! I don't even know what he likes, so I really don't know what to look for. Did he tell you what he was looking for?" Leon seemed to becoming more upset by the minute.

Arthur thought about it for a second, and then shook his head.

"No, he hasn't told me what he's looking for the physical or mental department. Not in words, at least. I don't think he's even sent me subtle messages about it."

"Yes, but he likes _you_ , so you must be doing something right. Did you do something?"

The blond scrunched together his thick eyebrows, reflecting on the past month or so on what he had done. Calling him an idiot half the time they spend together…not very good. Pushed him over and nearly kicked him in the nuts the first night…that's not a plus. Told him creepy stories about someone else just to tease him…even worse.

"No, unless you think threatening to kick someone in the royal jewels is."

Leon snorted, which gave him a sense of relief to know that his friend still had some spirit left in him.

"But seriously…can you tell me this? Truthfully?" his tone had now turned insistent.

"Go on, Leon."

"Has he…kissed you? I just want to know."

"Well, I'd tell you the whole story, if you really want to hear it. But yes, I have. I was actually his first kiss, not David's."

"I knew it," he sighed, sounding more relieved than upset. "Why didn't you tell anyone else? It would have given you much more of an advantage."

"I'm not seeing this as a game," Arthur reasoned, resting his chin on his palm. "We just…had feelings for each other already, and I'm glad I acted on them…n-not for his sake or anything, of course!"

Leon hid an amused giggle, and pretended to nod in understanding.

"I see. So, how did it go down?"

"Nothing as romantic as David's kiss, to be honest. Since the Broadcast…he was trying to avoid me because he really wanted to. But he was scared that I'd reject him, but one night he asked me to the garden, and we had this huge argument, and…it just came out. I was mortified. I was trying to act all angry, I even yelled at him a bunch of times, but-"

"Come on, I want to hear more! How was it?"

"He just…I got flustered, and I started to leave, but he confessed to me as well, and then he asked me if he could kiss me. It was polite, and I knew he was clueless, like the foolish idiot he is. But I let him, and…he kissed me. Just like that. It was pretty messy, because it was the first time with both of us, his glasses kept on poking into my face, but it was still sweet nonetheless."

Leon nodded, and closed his eyes, stretching lazily like a cat as Arthur watched the view outside his vast windows.

"What am I going to do now, Arthur?" he asked, after a few moments had passed.

"If you really don't like him that way, I think you should tell him. I mean, it won't sit well with him or his advisors, I heard Mark tell Sakura that you're one of the more popular candidates. And because of that, he'll be reluctant to let you go because the public is pretty important to him, but he'll let you go. I think you're going to have to figure that out by yourself."

"Wait-leaving? No, I can't leave now, not yet," he shook his head vigorously.

"Why, Leon? What's keeping you here?" _What do you have to fight for?_

"I just…I just don't want to be one of the thirty Chosen married off to wealthy, famous people. We're all like that, Arthur, and even though I don't like him and he probably doesn't like me back, I want someone to love me for _me_ , not my money or my title or my wealth. Even if that means marrying poor, or my life becomes so much more different that I'd thought it would be. I can't leave…not now."

The other boy nodded, having found truth in his words, and squeezed his hand once, then waved goodnight to him.

"Just stay here as long as you need to, all right?"

* * *

After Leon's confession, life at the palace seemed to go back to normal, with the exception of another secret Arthur had to keep. First the one with his original motives to join the Deciding, then Matthew and Gilbert, then his kiss with Alfred, now Leon's lack of romantic attachment. They didn't physically bear a weight on him, but it dragged his heart down.

However, there was no telling of the people whose secrets he had to keep. He trusted almost all of them wholeheartedly, but a small, nagging suspicion was rooted in his mind, that something else, something more _scandalous_ than _everything he knew_ was happening inside the castle. And he would be lying if he told himself that that statement wasn't true.

So it was with a breath of relief when Alfred called for him the next afternoon when he was conversing quietly with Mark. He'd decided to respect Leon's distance for now, after the things he'd been told.

"Alfred?" he called softly as their gazes met.

The other teenager had rolled up his sleeves and loosened his blue tie and left his jacket off, making him so much more…familiar.

It was like Arthur had been opened up to another side of him.

Like he wasn't royal, like he wasn't Cards' most eligible bachelor.

 _Like someone he could truly fall in love with..._

"Hey, Artie! How are you doing today?" he smiled boyishly, although still he was at a distance. No doubt he was a little less relaxed than he was on Saturday, because there had been another elimination. Three girls had become homesick, one had just simply asked to go in a low tone, another had blurted it out and one had burst into tears during breakfast, and Alfred had guided her out of the room, patting her shoulder gently.

The distance was no doubt caused by the closing ceremony, with the frustration and the confusion of the whole thing. Maybe Alfred was just annoyed with him, because he'd really seen how prickly Arthur was. Maybe he was just as confused about his feelings as he was.

Arthur swallowed tightly, and nodded, relaxing his stance.

"I'm doing well, thank you. Aren't you supposed to be working today? I hope you didn't get into any trouble," he teased, and Alfred cracked open a grin, his pearly whites shining.

 _Damn you attractive bastard._

"I sure didn't! One of my advisors was off sick, so we cancelled the meeting, and I'm free as a bird all afternoon!" Alfred had stepped closer now, hesitantly weaving his fingers through Arthur's.

"That sounds lovely. Where do you want to go, then?" he asked, returning the gesture with a squeeze of his own.

"There's so much stuff I've done with the others that I haven't done with you! Remember you mentioned something about the horses? I seriously wanna take you to see mine! She's really cool!" Alfred beamed, pulling him along, not even stopping to listen to his response.

"If you want to," Arthur sighed, just relieved to spend time with him.

* * *

"Here he is! Come out, Butterscotch, Al's here!"

Arthur had already saddled a horse, a beautiful gray gelding, and was stroking her behind the ears, watching the prince closely.

Behind them, a cameraman stood, camera and tripod ready. The shorter blond had asked the prince about it, but he'd been told that it was all part of programming. Arthur hoped that his siblings wouldn't tease too much when he came home.

"You named your horse after a sweetmeat?" he sighed.

"Don't tease!" the prince blushed, leading out a brown mare than he quickly got on, slightly dismantling her saddle. He shook out his blond hair, which shone in the sunlight.

"Well, you'd better hurry up, slowpoke,"

"What do you mean, 'hurry up'? Come on up, you old man!" Alfred laughed, as he ushered his horse to a swift canter.

"Oh, it's on!" Arthur retorted, quickly pulling his horse into a pace that matched his, feeling the wind run through his hair.

"I bet you never had this kind of riding awesomeness in your old facility!"

"Nowhere or nothing like this, your majesty!"

"Hey! I thought I told you to stop calling me that!" Alfred called, but there was no malice in his tone, just unending happiness as they crossed the vast gardens of the palace.

"Go on and make me!" Arthur yelled back, and the honey blond winked, snapping his fingers as they approached a mess of grass, and the horses skidded to a halt, Alfred getting off smoothly while Arthur yelped and flailed, landing on the grass.

The prince skidded to where he fell, his eyes lighting with panic.

"Hey, Artie! Artie, you okay? Artie, answer me!" he yelped, shaking the winded blond's shoulders.

After a few seconds, Arthur's eyes fluttered open and pinned down the shocked teenager's arms, laughing in mirth.

"Gotcha," he laughed breathlessly, and Alfred had the privilege of admiring his face up close, faint freckles on his pink cheeks that wouldn't be visible if one saw him from afar, the lime eyes that shone with mirth and sent his heart thumping like it had never had before.

Knowing the only thing that was left to do was probably going to earn him a sound thrashing, he pulled him down, crushing his body against his own, the wriggle of Arthur's body signifying that he'd won.

"I stopped you," he teased as they broke apart. Arthur reddened at a nearly record pace as he rolled over the flustered blond.

"I-Idiot! Let me go!" he yelped, thrashing harder, but the taller (and heavier) blond only laughed louder.

"Go and make _me_ ," he panted, and Arthur's eyes flashed with a devious glint.

"You're not the only thing that needs taming around here, _Your Highness_ ," he huffed, before they were interrupted by the timely whinny of the horses.

Quickly getting back to their feet, shaking out the grass from their hair, they hurriedly saddled up their horses. Determinedly not looking at each other, both of them blushed furiously, taking their horses by the reins and leading them back to the castle.

"Shh, I'm not as wild as you think, I've had years of strict training as a royal," Alfred hummed as he led his horse to her stable.

"You're wild enough for me," Arthur shot back as he gave his gelding another scratch underneath her chin.

"Enough for your what? Your…" the prince grinned, leaning closer and resting his chin on Arthur's shoulder.

"Do-don't misunderstand! It's not like I meant it that way!" he spluttered, averting his gaze and turning rosy red.

"Hey, your cheeks are red again. Be careful they don't stay that way, they might be permanent if you do it too much." Alfred murmured as he ran his thumbs over the shorter boy's face.

But the true meaning of what he'd been meaning to say had startled Arthur.

 _To feel that so soon…it's only been around two months!_

"I just…Alfred, please, don't get angry," he breathed, pressing his hands to his and pulling them away.

"What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?" All the flirting had morphed into concern.

"I won't be mad. I promise. Just tell me what's wrong."

"You know, with the send off that happened two weeks ago? I…I'm so confused. I've always read about the royal life, but what if I'm forced to change for it? I want to be myself, but what if you don't like me for me? I'm so awkward, Alfred, I don't do well in social situations. I'm a stubborn, cold person, and I just…honestly, with how bluntly you express your affections, I don't think I could ever do it like you. I don't even think I'm fit to be your Queen," Arthur sighed, feeling the lump in his throat getting larger.

"What do you mean? I don't-"

"Alfred, what if the people hate me? What will you do then?" he choked, lifting his green gaze to meet his.

"Arthur…they won't. I think they've fallen for you like I have. You might not think much of yourself, but I can tell you everything that you are, like that night where I gave you my first kiss. And I'm still taking your advice. I don't mind if your feelings are a little slower than mine. I'm prepared to wait."

"Don't forget, it was mine as well. But doesn't it worry you? I mean, here you are with pretty much full confidence that I'm the best of the bunch. There are so many better-"

"I'm a pretty chill guy," the prince admitted, the pair of them slowly making their way back to the palace. "If you really don't feel the same about me, then you can-"

Arthur rapidly cut him off as he pressed his palms against Alfred's cheeks, giving him a light slap.

"C-Can you be ANY more clueless? Of course I like you in that way, idiot! Just because I'm slower to confess doesn't mean I don't!"

The prince's eyes twinkled with mirth, holding the shorter boy's hand securely to his face. He parted his mouth as if he was going to say something, but the pair were interrupted by a loud noise to their left.

* * *

butterscotch is a reference to princess eadlyn's horse.

also, a nordic is coming up soon, do look forward to that!

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	20. Hot and Cold

thanks to all your reviews (90+, i'm still in disbelief we're literally 7 away from 100 (o̿ ̭ o̿)!) i've finished adapting the first book to this plotline. yup, all 80,000 words of it. i cut it down to 55,000 though. -curses bad writer skills-

 _to...practically almost everybody,_ i agree thatthey're both cute when they're flustered, _regine_ , oh my god you amazing person, what a review, thank you! i'm happy CaH makes you happy, (are you okay though?), and you're right, arthur's personality is a bit higher than what i originally wrote. i do hope you didn't have to mop up your blood all by yourself. _thisistheearth_...it's coming. prepare your pitchfork

also, sorry if the 'sound to the left' is a little (understatement) anticlimatic. technically, there are three nordics this chapter, but two are just mentioned.

EVEN MORE APOLOGIES: this chapter is shorter than usual because i wanted to end it where it did. i'm in a phase for both of them thanks to adam *glares*

i still don't, like, own hetalia nor the selection. they totally belong to _kiera cass_ and _hidekaz himaruya_ respectively, you punk!

* * *

A tall, imposing blond-a general of the palace guards by the look of it-approached the pair, fixing them both with a intimidating look, his expression urgent.

"Sir, we've j'st received notice of a Joker attack near Hearts."

"Are they involving the Powers?" Alfred asked, shooting a glance at Arthur before the three of them started to briskly make their way back to the palace.

"Pr'bably. There's been increas'd magical energy in the p'st two days, " came the response as he opened the doors and led the two of them in.

"That's not good. Arthur, you're coming with me. I don't want to risk you getting lost."

"I can handle myself!" he protested, but Alfred had already dragged down the hallway, fixing him with his intense blue gaze.

"I can't have the risk of you getting hurt," he said, which effectively made Arthur shut up as they entered the safe room.

"Alfred, what were you doing? At least you're safe. Aiya, don't get yourself into unnecessary danger, I had to deal with half of your Chosen bawling like children," the Jack sighed, an exasperated expression on his face.

"Sorry, Yao! I was having a date with Arthur here, and Berwald found us. Uh, were they really distressed? Sorry, I'll just go look after them!" Alfred laughed nervously, and then dashed off.

"Are you alright, Sir Arthur? I trust that Berwald saw you to safety?" Yao asked, directing his attention to him.

"Yes. A little startled, but I'm fine, thanks to the general. Thank you, Your Highness."

With that, he made his way to his friends, where Emma nearly bowled him over with a bear hug, letting out a teary laugh.

"We were so worried! Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine, Emma. How are all of you doing?"

"Leon nearly got hurt," Mark said, casting a concerned look at the group.

"It was such a mess! Emma and I were reading in the ribary together, and suddenry a pack of guards ran in! We were startred, of course, but we heard so much _screaming_ and-I got so frightened," Sakura sobbed, her face in her hands.

"I was…there were so many people, Arthur," Leon rasped, edging over so that Arthur could sit next to him.

"I was talking with Mark, so at least I wasn't alone. But when they came over, there was such a commotion-"

A loud sound broke out near the entrance, violent yells shaking the room, causing Sakura to gasp in fear, but Leon had suddenly stood up, his eyes dilating.

"Arthur, can you come with me?" he hissed, already moving.

The other teenager simply followed suit, coming forward to a group of obviously wounded soldiers arguing with the people guarding the door.

* * *

"Why won't you let us in?" a young guard demanded.

"This room is for the royals only! You must go out there and defend the palace!" came the reply.

"Look, Emil's hurt, and he's only a boy! Just let him rest here! We'll go out, just take him in!" Matthias had shouldered his way forward from the crowd, supporting a silver-white haired guard who had slumped on his back, in very obvious pain. Above him, a bird was in obvious distress, squawking loudly.

Arthur took a step back, but Leon had drew forward, gripping the supervisor's shoulder.

"Let him in! What good will he do if he's hurt like that? He'll only die!" he shouted.

"Sir, calm down, get back to your seat," he dismissed him, turning back to the guards.

"If you won't let him in, then I'll leave! Then you'll be neglecting your duty!" Leon's almond eyes were flashing with barely contained anger, taking a step closer to the door.

"You can't do that, sir! It's their duty-"

"My friend is right, he's hurt rather badly," Arthur said, coming to stand next to his friend, who gave him a nod of acknowledgement.

The supervisor seemed at a loss for words, and Leon took that as a cue to slowly help the injured guard off the general's back.

Before they left, Matthias tapped Arthur's shoulder, a worried expression on his face.

"Hey, kid, have you seen someone called Berwald? He was outside today, and-"

"Yes, he escorted me here."

"That's good," he sighed, relaxing and running a hand through his hair.

"Do you know him…as more than a friend? I mean, I won't judge, but-"

The general spluttered, doubling over with laughs before shaking his head.

"Of course not! Berwald's my buddy, yeah, but I'm already married. He's a cutie working in a pub inside the inner circle, as if I'd let him come here! Besides, he's already married to this guy. He calls him his wife. Strange, but Tino's a nice person."

"I see…but what connection do you have with that guard? I mean, you seem to have a great relationship with him…"

"Oh, he's Emil," Matthias smiled, "he's practically my son. Little scrap, he was, when I first saw him. So there was this patrol around Clubs, and there's this gang, you see, and…"

Arthur decided to tune out for a while as the general rambled on.

 _Emil, huh? Is it that person that Leon's become friends with?_

As the last of the commotion died down, he decided to get some sleep, settling himself against the wall, trying his best to tune out the smash of various items against the wall, the barely muffled shouts outside the room, Alfred's deeper than usual voice whispering words to the Chosen, the screams of the other teenagers.

In the end, he quickly drifted off to the sight of Emma and Sakura curled together, Mark cracking his knuckles, and Leon whispering softly to the guard he'd insisted be let in the safe room.

* * *

"What were you thinking? I'm not important to them, Leon, you know I'm not. But you're part of the Deciding-you're one of the favourites to win this thing. You could have been hurt."

Arthur was fast asleep, slumped against the wall. Emma and Sakura were huddled with each other, and Mark was snoring softly, everyone exhausted from the violent night. The safe room was practically silent.

But Leon was awake, a roll of plaster and a bucket filled with cold water at his side, his hands occupied with cleaning his wounds, his puffin nestled in the plaster, looking rather content.

"Shh, you've been hurt badly. Ice, like, what happened?"

"D-don't call me that in public!" Emil exclaimed, "I was near the gardens, at my post, and I was the one who sounded the alarm. The-damn, that hurts!-they always go for the one who alerts everyone else. I had to fend off a pack of them for about…god, Leon, I don't know. It seemed like a lifetime before Matthias pulled them off me. I can't ever live up to his standards. One got me in the leg, and if I was wearing my jacket, my back wouldn't be all messed up," he grunted, and Leon's hands stilled, slowly pulling the last strip of gauze over his scratched wrists. He lifted his brown gaze to the tired guard.

"Well…I know that if I were you, I would have totally ran away. You're brave; Emil, and I know you've, like, come a long way from that starving street urchin in Clubs. You shouldn't really compare yourself to Matthias; he's been here for a while from what you've told me. You're totally perfect as you are."

Emil's gaze softened, and he seemed to relax, shooting Leon a grateful look from behind his shoulder.

"Thanks, Leon. I'm really trying…to mature, you know. But really, I was seriously worried about you in that moment. What if they started to suspect something? You know-what would Matthias say? What would _Lukas_ say? I've told you he's very concerned for me because he's the only person not at the palace because of the draft. They've raised me like their own son. I can never repay what I owe to them, what if they're shunned because-" he was cut off by the shorter teenager placing a finger against his lips.

"Shh. Just…just let me fix you up, okay? We've totally had a long night, especially you. We only have this time together, to ourselves." His tone was slightly affected, and he didn't meet Emil's pale gaze as he got back to work with a small jar of salve, gingerly applying it to his back.

After a few moments of silence, Leon's hands started to tremble, feeling his chest lurch as he accidentally against a rather deep cut, causing Emil to grunt at the pain.

"S-sorry, Emil," he whispered, feeling tears gathering up at the corners of his eyes.

"Hey-Leon, what's wrong? Sh-damn, are you okay?" Emil asked, slowly twisting his head back to look at the other boy.

"It's just…leaving you-the idea of you, of an us-hurts so much more than I thought it would have been. It shouldn't hurt this much, right?"

"No, it definitely shouldn't feel this way," came the quiet confirmation.

The silver-white haired guard slowly swiveled to face him, no longer minding the sting of his numerous wounds or the cold burn of the salve on his back that much. Lifting his bandaged hand to cup Leon's damp cheek, he slowly, hesitantly leaned in. For a moment, Leon was still for a terrifying, heartrending moment, but a hand quickly pressed his own to his face, reciprocating the kiss with fervor.

As they broke apart with a breathless laugh, Leon took a bandaged wrist in his hand.

"I don't think we can really hurt as much now," he smiled, almost wistfully.

"You've changed me, Leon. I don't think I can stay away from you," even though his tone was filled with remorse, the smirk suggested otherwise.

"But Emil, this is going to be dangerous. It's…treason, in a way. I'm supposed to be loyal to the prince, to the Deciding-!"

"Sorry," came the slightly teasing reply, albeit slightly regretful.

But as Emil pressed his lips against his again, softly, tenderly, Leon found that he honestly couldn't care either way.

* * *

rip leon and emil's common sense 2k16

also, hONGICE WAS ANIMATED IN THE LATEST EPISODE OH MY GOD I'M _STILL_ SCREAMING IF YOU KNOW MY TUMBLR I'VE BEEN FREAKING OUT ALL WEEK

 _yo, it would be totally cool if you left this story a review, favourite or follow if you haven't, like, done so already! the author totally needs support when she, like, writes!_


	21. Morning After

gUYS 99 REVIEWS YOU'RE TEASING ME but thank you anyway for your lovely words!

 _Dreams-Wishes-Hopes,_ gosh golly you were fast last time, and thank you! _ThisIsTheEarth_ , I haven't got around to it, but it's building up ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ and finally _amethyst_ , there's a livestream at multiple times of the new episode! i woke up at three am for that just to find out the time was wrong, lol.

but seriously, i'm glad you guys like the hongice. they mean...a lot to me. i actually woke up at three am just to catch the livestream...only to find out it's airing at nine am. _but hongice is more important than sleep._ also the birds chirping in the morning are v nice for writing

also, i promise you guys the next chapter will be around 2,500-3k for these shorter chapters these two weeks! sorry sorry schoolwork is crushing me

finally, i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to _kiera cass_ and _hidekaz himaruya_ respectively.

* * *

Finally, as the rosy streaks of the morning sun slashed through the parts of where the walls were slightly less thick, Arthur awoke to the prince's hand on his shoulder, rousing him gently.

"H-hey, what time is it?" he mumbled, shaking his head and turning around.

"Artie, it's five. But everyone's asleep now, so I'll just tell you now."

He blinked his eyes a few times to get rid of sleep sand, and turned to face Alfred, still feeling slightly drowsy.

"Did you tell anyone that the Powers came here today?"

"No, I didn't. It would cause unnecessary alarm, and some people don't even know what the Power Jokers are. Do you know how freaked out they would be? Everyone's already so scared, it would be disconcerting to most of them."

"Wait…have there been people that scared? Has anyone asked to leave?"

Alfred coughed into his hand, and nodded, shooting a look at to where the Jack of Spades was talking in a low tone with a group of people.

"Three, actually. You're not…planning on leaving, right? I mean-you're not hurt, so-"

"Enough with your silly babbling, idiot. Of course I'm not. I mean, if I leave, it will be like giving up to the rebels. But again…I'd be giving up something else," Arthur sighed, casting a quick gaze around the room.

"Wait…what's your something else? Is there something that I don't know about? Do you have a lover back home? Is there something you're not telling me about?" his tone had suddenly turned panicked, a tinge of jealousy evident with the tight grip of his hand.

The sandy blonde chuckled fondly, and met his intense blue eyes.

"Well…I'll show you," he whispered, and pressed a kiss to Alfred's cheek, drawing back with a smirk.

Alfred flushed, and gave him an embarrassed glare before sighing loudly.

"What's with you messin' with me? You made me so worried then!"

"Well, I wouldn't say you aren't jealous, but…in all honesty, what else could I be worried about here in this palace? What else would I miss when I leave?" He felt a lurch in his stomach as he said it, but managed to keep his tone level.

"Yeah, but that still doesn't justify that!" he pouted, sticking out his bottom lip.

"Well, that's my job from now, love," came the fond response as Arthur leaned against his shoulder, and closed his eyes again.

* * *

As the hours passed on, there were occasional bouts of yelling and clashes, but they became more subdued. A small group of guards went out to do a last sweep, and after a brief period of time, they came back.

"Ladies and gentlemen," one of the generals called, "the rebels have been subdued. You may return to your positions, since we have now done one last security sweep, however, the palace is still a little ragged, so some places will be fenced off. Please do not attempt to access those areas. The Chosen may make their way back to their rooms, the Jack I believe will come for you shortly. Food will be arranged within the hour, and if you need anything please do talk to the maids. Thank you, and have a nice day."

Arthur untangled himself from Alfred, who offered him a wry smile before squeezing his hand in an attempt to reassure him.

"I'll see you again soon, okay?" he smiled, and walked back to Matthew, sharing a few words with his brother as he did so.

Anna was already in his room when he got back, and she was arranging Arthur's closet again, looking a little harried.

"Anna, were you all right? Did the rebels harm you?" he asked as he approached the doorway.

"Uh, Sir Arthur, you might not want to come in just yet…but no, I'm fine. It takes a lot more than a bunch of angry upstarts to take me down."

"What's happened? Is there something wrong?"

"Umm, I'm not sure how to break this to you, but they got in. Your room's been messed up, and I've been trying to clean up the mess for a while, so there's nothing that'll kill you that's here anymore. They didn't take anything, but…just go over any personal items, all right?"

Arthur swallowed, but gave his reassurances, not really knowing how bad it was until he stepped into the room.

* * *

To bluntly put it, his room had been ransacked. He was sure that his room had been a lot more messy before Anna came in, but papers were scattered over the floor, a pile of coats and ties yanked from his wardrobe, the mattress stuffed underneath his bed, his armchair sprawling on it's side. Even the small photos he'd had on his dresser, the ones of his siblings and Kiku and him, had been torn apart. He wasn't afraid; it was just the fact that complete, total strangers had ransacked his things, plus the fact that they were enemies, a threat to society.

However, as he looked at the picture of him, Kiku and Heracles standing outside the local café, he remembered something-his best friend's letters. He put it down on the floor before scrabbling in his suitcase, thankfully untouched because it was stuffed under his bed, sending books flying until he got the assortment of paper in his clammy hands. Anna shot him a inquiring look.

"I've got everything, and as for the rest…suppose there's nothing we can't fix," he sighed, and they both started to resume their work.

Arthur had only scooped up the handful of papers scattered on the floor before a knock on his bedroom door interrupted their progress.

He wouldn't ever admit it, but there was a small twinge of hope that it would be Alfred, wanting to talk to him, but to his disappointment it was the Jack, holding a slightly reflective device in his hand as he walked in.

"Sorry for the delay, someone else's leaving. Don't tell me you are, too…?"

"No, Your Highness, I don't have any intentions to. It would only make the rebels more determined."

"That's good," Yao sighed, "I presume they didn't take anything. If they have, do tell me or ask your maid. Moving on, I've got a phone here for you to call your family. You know their home number, yes? This is the safest line in the palace, so don't hold back."

Arthur held the object in his hand, marveling at the size of it-there was only a cumbersome landline at home, and one for every hallway in his holding facility, but not something so portable. Quickly dialing the familiar number, he eagerly held it to his ear. Knowing Erin, she'd be bounding down the stairs like a hare, but to his surprise, someone else picked up after just two rings.

"Ohy, wee bairn!" came the familiar voice, and he clutched the receiver tighter to his ear, his face flooding with recognition.

* * *

guess who's making an appearance next chapter!

so many things planned for next chapter orz

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	22. Elimination

i'd, uh, like to start this chapter off with a serious note. an anon commented on this story, saying absolute rubbish and awfully rude things about gay people and transgender people 'pretending to be another gender'. first of all, i'm just going to make clear that kind of behaviour here or _anywhere else_ is **not tolerated**. **at _all_.** i have several friends that identify as gay or transgender and more things on the lgbta+ spectrum, and even though i don't identify as either, this does not mean this is okay with me. **i have since removed that comment, but i would like to** **make clear-any review or comment like this will be deleted immediately.**

okay. so on a happier note, _100+ reviews!_ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟthere were so many this week omg, thank you all so much for your support! never in a million years would i think that i would have gotten so far with my first fic, and I really appreciate your continued support ([∂]ω[∂])

 _Russia says hello_ , I'm sorry that last chapter was cut short! I wanted to keep you all in suspense hehe, so I've put out a doubly large chapter today! _regine_ , thank you for your super long review! sometimes some words are deleted during the upload, so thank you for alerting me to that issue! and alfred indeed is a sweetheart, but we'll see later, and i agree, the boy can't take a hint! _Cupcake_ , sorry for the lack of our beloved giripan, but i haven't forgot them at all! they're coming very, very soon ^^ and _toolazytologin_ , it's all right if you don't like the hongice, but thank you for your kind words nonetheless! _queen castle_ , the adj then noun is probably one of my few workarounds the dominantly male cast lolololol. but you're right, i definitely am trying to improve that. (also help me with my french at the top merci beaucoup)

phew phew phew what a long A/N replying to all your lovely reviews (with the glaring exception of the one at the top.) in the next few chapters, i'm going to extend the warning to include language and descriptions of serious injury. a few of you that have read the series might know what i mean...

LONG CHAPTER TO MAKE UP FOR THE SUPERLONG AN. the chapter's the longest so far m(_ _)m 4,000 words!

 _finally, i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively._

* * *

Allistor-Scotland

Dylan-Wales (he's around eight!)

Christian-Australia

Erin-Northern Ireland

Cormac-Southern Ireland (he's Erin's twin, so they share pretty much the same characteristics. he's probably my OC, though.)

Alfonso-Portugal

* * *

"My oh my, Allistor, I certainly didn't expect you to pick up," Arthur teased. "Well, we were worried about you rascal, for once! We got a call earlier today, and someone told us that there was a breach in security. Hah, Erin figured that they meant the bloody rebels, and broke down. I swear, if we hadn't stopped her she would have gone to clutch your old cuddle hanky or something-but don't tell her I told you that," came the amused remark.

"Blast it, Erin, she gets too worried about me. But never mind, I'm fine now. It was just a sleepless night, I didn't even get a scratch. Is there someone else at home right now?"

"You're in the palace now, some people say that it's more dangerous that the Outer Circles of Clubs," Allistor muttered, "so we should be worried sometimes. But, uh, Christian and Erin's gone off to work, and Cormac's gone to the pub for a spot of cheeky bartending, so it's just me and the wean. Dylan, would you like to come talk to your brother?"

There was a loud thumping of some sort.

"Artie?" came the quiet voice, unusually thick with tears.

"Dylan? Dylan, how are you doing?"

"Artie! I was so worried that you would be hurt! Are you okay now?" he wailed, and Arthur could hear the scrape of his shaggy hair against the speaker as he shook his head. He tended to do that when he was throwing a tantrum anyway.

"Nothing happened really. Hey, don't go wailing on me, you tosspot; it'll take quite a bit more then a bunch of rebels. Are you still being good?"

"Of course...but I miss you! Last week you should have come home and visited us!"

He faltered then, remembering the limited time they had had outside the holding facility. There were only a handful of times where they were allowed outside for more than a day, and it was straight after the large Meeting.

"Yeah, well-I can't really come home now-"

"Why not?" Dylan whined.

"Just because...reasons. It's complicated, Dylan-you know what I mean." Arthur dodged, fiddling with the end of his shirt.

"Wait…that thing on the Broadcast-hey, are you in love with the prince?" the usually teasing voice that he was used to came over the intercom.

"Wh-what? It's not like that, I just-" the blond stammered, but it was too late anyway.

"I totally knew it! You're in love with him!" Dylan was laughing triumphantly. There was a faint sound of stomping, then a giggle and Allistor's voice shrieking "What?"

"Dylan, I never even said-"

"I knew it!" the younger boy giggled uncontrollably, and Arthur sighed, realizing that his brother would probably not take a word of his when he was in this mood.

"Well, little man, I'm going to have to go. I'll check in with you as soon as I can. Stay safe, and please tell Erin not to worry. Also, make sure Cormac doesn't get as drunk as he did the last time I came home."

"Sounds good! One more thing-can you send me one of the tarts that you've been writing about in your letters?"

Arthur sighed, noticing Yao's amused expression, and took that as a cue to end the call sooner.

"Yes, yes, I'll see what I can do. Write soon, okay? Goodbye, Dylan."

"Bye, Artie! We will write soon!" came the chirpy voice, and then the line cut off. A small twinge of homesickness struck him, a little larger than his occasional bouts.

"Um, thank you," he said, swiftly handing the phone over to the Jack.

"That's good. Take some rest; you might want to come down for dinner tonight. You can stay up here no problem, but a few are leaving tomorrow. You might want to say goodbye to a few who might be leaving." Yao left the room on that note, taking a moment to kick a stray clothes hanger to the corner of the room before exiting.

Arthur and Anna exchanged a look, then she handed him a mop.

"Go on, this room's not going to magically clean itself. Sorry. It's just this one time round, all right? Fingers crossed this won't happen again."

* * *

The next morning, it seemed like the whole rivalry thing with who got the most dates or who had received presents and gifts had faded away completely with the horror of the rebel attack. Three of them, two boys and a girl who had been sobbing the whole time the attack had taken place, tears staining her black plaits as she clung onto the prince as they left the safe room, were gone straight after breakfast. Maybe it was the Jack's top notch efficiency, or the possible defiance in the face of the rebels to show that life went on normally even after a rather disruptive attack, but the palace had basically gone back to its original state. Any trace of blood or grime had been removed, and all the guards had seemed to be healed already. Except for the guard that Leon had insisted be let into the safe room, they were all standing in their posts like nothing had happened, waving cheerfully to the Chosen as they made their way down to breakfast.

But now they were assembled in the long dining table, chatting casually among themselves. Across the table, Avie and Marianne were conversing about a trivial topic, but both girls' were a lot more friendly and outgoing to each other than they had been before. Arthur was swapping tarts with an olive-skinned boy with a rather stumpy ponytail named Alfonso, and the atmosphere was amicable and friendly.

However, Leon still appeared a little tense, albeit less distressed than he had been over the guard in the safe room, but after he settled down for breakfast next to Arthur and Mark, he seemed to calm down and relaxed quite a bit, and now was staring almost dreamily into his cup of tea, flecked with herbs that quickly settled down on the bottom of the translucent drink.

When Alfred and Matthew came in, the violet-eyed brother quickly whispered an apology into the Jack's ear, while Alfred quickly mumbled out a good morning to everyone in the room and seemed to dig into his pancakes without a moment's hesitation, drowning his pancakes in spoonfuls of strawberry jam. Matthew tapped him on the shoulder and they exchanged a joke before Matthew got back to his own breakfast, but he looked strained all the same. When they had all finished and were all but gossiping, he stood up, a clear tremor in his hands.

"Everyone," he began hesitantly, and Arthur felt a small pang in his heart for him, "Since yesterday's attack, my advisors, the Jack and Ace and I have gotten together and have discussed with a lot more seriousness about how the Deciding process should work better. As you know, three people asked to leave yesterday, and I thought it was the only right and fair thing to do. It's pretty much how the entire process in general works…if they don't want to stay, they may go. But now, with everything that's happened, I don't feel like keeping you in the palace a moment more than you need to be, if I know that we're not compatible or you might not have a possibility being with me or being a successful Queen."

Around the room, the friendly atmosphere had subsided, turning into a dread-filled realization.

"He can't be…" Mark whispered.

"He's going to do it," Arthur sighed.

"Though it makes me upset to have to do this, I've talked to the rest of the Primary Suit and a handful of close advisors, and we've decided to narrow down the Deciding into the Elite. If you're not aware, that means that the entire process will be lowered into ten people. However…presented with the circumstances of the rebels coming in the palace, I've decided to narrow all but eight of you to be staying in the palace."

"Eight?" Dean gasped.

"That's not fair!" Clare hissed, but she was clutching her hanky tightly.

A hum of complaints rose up in the room, fading and mingling with feverish talk. Marianne had pressed her hands together and closed her eyes, as if her desperate look could garner her a spot. Leon, who had admitted to him that he didn't like Alfred in a romantic sense, looked really worried, wringing his hands together.

"I don't want to draw this out for long, so I'll just announce them now. Lady Sakura and Sir Leon."

Sakura gasped and did a little fiddly dance in her chair, and Leon exhaled in relief, rubbing the back of his neck.

Arthur's face faltered, even as he tried to hide it, his thoughts whirled around his head. With all the arguments they had over the two months together, Alfred might have not find him too fitting for the role of a Queen, of his princess. Would he send him back home, possibly to the holding facility if his siblings didn't have space to take him in? Did Alfred care for him at all?

"Lady Marianne and Sir Alfonso." he continued, shooting each of them a warm look in turn. Exchanging a wry smile with Alfonso to his right, Arthur went back to his thoughts. What if Alfred really didn't see a future with him? What if he wasn't eligible or good enough to be a Queen? What would he do if the prince said that he should go? Was there anything past this point?

Did he even want to leave?

"Lady Natalya and Lady Avie." Both of the girls squealed and hugged each other, shooting the people around them excited looks, expecting them to be happy for them, and Arthur felt his stomach sink. There were only two places left.

"Lady Emma," he said, slowly turning the page. The room was deadly silent now, awaiting the last name. Arthur and Mark exchanged a glance, and they motioned to each other and squeezed each other's hands. Arthur felt his heart pound faster in his chest.

"And Sir Arthur." Alfred's gaze met his, and Arthur felt every muscle in his body relax. Mark released his hand, his face paling, and started to sob, most of the people that had been eliminated following suit. The prince's face was incredibly regretful.

"To everyone else, I'm so sorry, but I hope you all believe me that this is a good thing, that it's for your safety more than anything else. I don't want to break your heart or get your hopes up and let you get hurt in the process. If anyone wants to talk to me or get something out of the way before they leave, please come talk to me at the library. Thank you."

Quite a bit before long, Clare and Dean were running after him, no doubt looking for reasons and an explanation, and some people were in tears. Obviously, it fell on the eight remaining to comfort them.

It was terribly awkward. Mark shook his head fiercely as Arthur tried to pat his shoulder, and raced out of the room. He exchanged a dismayed glance with Leon, and in his heart he hoped that his friend would not hold a grudge against him. People poured out of the room, their appetite clearly diminished, and Arthur was happy to follow suit. The torrent of emotions had made him uncomfortable, and the general feeling of the morning along with the stress made him want to hole up in his room for the rest of the week.

Strangely, he found himself out of his room for the entirety of the rest of the morning, as so was everyone else left in the palace. Doors were swung wide open, no one bothering to close them properly, even though Arthur asked Anna to stand by just in case a nosy bugger (namely little Hero) decided to come and sift through his room. Girls and boys alike dashed in and out, exchanging notes and gathering one another's addresses and home numbers. Everyone had a last hurrah in the room smack dab in the middle of the corridor, which happened to be Sonja's. Laughter and tears were shed, and even though Arthur practically didn't know anything about fashion, but was happy to choose a coat or a dress for those leaving that wanted to look slightly more fanciful then they usually did, and after they had left, the palace had gone a lot more quiet and far more serious than it had when all thirty of them had been there. The emptiness was eerie as well, and Arthur wondered if the palace was always this quiet and lonely.

As he was composing his newest letter to Kiku about the snap elimination, a knock came at the door. Anna, who had been commanded to take a break, quickly opened it. The warmth of Alfred's voice rounding out the letters of his name made him jump to his feet.

"Sorry, miss, but I need to speak with Sir Arthur. Would you excuse the pair of us for a moment?"

"Is there anything I can do for either of you two lovebirds?" Anna gave him a knowing smile.

"No, it's all cool," the prince declined politely, his cheeks dusted with a blush as they both started to make their way to the garden.

* * *

Arthur felt like it was starting to be _their_ place-in the beginning, the very first night, then the horse riding, now this.

They both walked around in the soft sunset for a while, then Alfred beamed, turning to face the sandy blond.

"Hey, I know! Dinner's not until a few hours, do you want to go to the outhouse? There's a very nice view up in the turret," he offered, and Arthur nodded in response.

"I've always liked the sunset's colour, you know. It's like honey, and well...it reminds me of something." he admitted slowly, his hands behind his back as they both strolled slowly to their first meeting place.

"Ooh, did it look like your cat's fur? I remember you mentioned something about you having a cat,"

"No, Crumpet was a Scottish Fold, his fur wasn't nearly as nice as your hair," he smiled, and then paused as he realized what he'd just said.

"Well, I'm flattered, but I'd prefer if you'd tell me outright." he grinned, running his hand through his hair then pulling him into the outhouse.

"I don't work like that, you idiot!" Arthur huffed, but did not deny it as he closed the door.

* * *

As they both watched the sunset from the top of the turret, the shorter blonde turned to face Prince Alfred, a slightly hesitant smile on his face.

"I…for a second there, I thought you'd wouldn't keep me here," he admitted after a long pause.

"Wait…why wouldn't I do that?" he asked, sounding rather confused.

"Because we fought over the entire thing with Natalya. Because we were friends for a brief period of time..." _And between all the secrets I have to keep, for your brother of all things as well._

Alfred threw his hands up in mock surrender, and put his arm around Arthur, who squirmed for a moment but seemed content to be in his grip, much to his pleasant surprise. The honey blonde's grin grew larger, and pulled him closer.

"You've seen my choices. Leon and Avie are popular with the public, and I'm trying to prove myself to the people, let alone the rest of Cards. Emma and Natalya are both charming and agreeable, and my advisors like them, and so do Yao and Matthew. Marianne and Sakura come from powerful and influential families around Cards, and it would be a good idea to align the new, complete Primary Suit with. Alfonso just so happens to have family in the Andantinos, which will be helpful if we are to strengthen ties. We've only had an alliance with them for three years, and that will prove very useful."

Arthur knew that he did not have much to give in political expanses, and he didn't know how popular or unpopular he was with the public, but he needed to hear the reasoning for his continued stay firsthand. The few reasons he settled on weren't very comforting, and his stomach sunk.

"Yes, but…why am I still here?" In the back of his mind, Arthur was sure that he was here only because the prince wanted him for just his advice.

"Arthur…I thought I told you clearly," Alfred sighed, tipping up his chin to meet his clear blue gaze.

"If this was a lot more simple than what it is now, everyone else would have probably gone home by now. I know my feelings for you with a sense of certainty. Maybe it's just a gut feeling or me being a lil' selfish, but I'm sure I'll be happy to spend the rest of my days with you." he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully.

Arthur's cheeks instantly coloured, and he wanted to look away in embarrassment, but he wanted to savour every part of Alfred's expression that he was currently making.

"There are moments when I think you want to be with me, and some moments I think you just want to stay friends. If I knew the reason why you're still here, the only reason was because you wanted me…" he hesitated for a moment, then directed his gaze back to the shorter blonde.

"Would I be wrong in saying that in a way…you're not ready? I mean, for the entire package? You've got quite a bit going right for you, but there's plenty of space for improvement. Am I right in saying that?"

"You would be, for sure." Arthur confirmed, "I don't think that I'm quite as powerful in terms of magical potential as I need to be, and there's just…me. What if I'm not what you really want in a lover? It's only been a few months, we could be rushing into something we're not sure of. I'm afraid that you're throwing away your shot."

"Well…in the meantime, we can see what we can do. If you want to leave at any time, please tell me. I'm going to have to find a partner with help from your advice, but...don't, for a heartbeat, doubt that I care for you in that way. Like, a lot." he offered a boyish smile, and Arthur bit his lip before wrapping his arms around him, leaning on his tiptoes and brushing his forehead against his.

"Alfred, I'm not sure that there's a word to describe us yet, but we're definitely more than friends."

The prince beamed, and tilted his head to deepen the unnamable feeling between both of them. Arthur's blush turned redder, and he ducked his head to avoid Alfred's soft gaze, but strong fingers cupped his chin in response.

"Hey, it's still rude to look away. So, don't," he said, and Arthur couldn't help but kiss him this time, feeling the surprised smile on his expression as he closed the tiny gap between them, teetering gingerly on his tiptoes.

It was like they were back in the rain again like they had been that night, foolish, tender, and hopelessly in love.

* * *

And when the next morning arrived and Anna drew back the curtains and a exasperated morning call to a still slightly dazed Arthur, he felt like he was floating as he walked down straight to the room where they had breakfast. The feeling only heightened when Alfred winked at him while he was eating (yet another) pastry, and it didn't lose farce all morning.

At least, until the eight of them gathered in the Drawing Room.

* * *

 _The lights of a studio reflect harshly on deep, brown eyes_ _…  
_

* * *

and i'm just going to stop there, bwahhh.

we're going to play the guessing game of _who's up next_ , go ahead and cast your ballots! next chapter's probably shorter and a filler, so i have to apologize in advance for that. just saying, i've missed writing him. a _lot_.

also my voice is super croaky from screaming at the hongice on the livestream (i was nyoengland on there in case you wanted to know lol)

FINALLY, this story is up on Archive! i'm under _wanderingintrovert ^^_

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	23. Reminiscence

i reached 61,000 words this week. phew. your nice reviews really helped me as i kept on rereading them as i wrote!

it was actually a little surprising to see that you guys actually didn't guess who the brown eyes belong to! all will be revealed in today's filler chapter, which i uploaded a day earlier because...well, it's an extra so it's going to be small. sorry (ㅍ_ㅍ)

 _regine_ , *hugs you back* i hope it wasn't too warm, even though i probably need that warmth ಥ_ಥ _russia says hello_ , huehue. hopefully all your answers will be answered in this chapter! _thisistheearth_ , yes, i love it when that happens as well! yes yes _yes_ the stream was amazing (good luck with converting your brother to the hetalia side lololol), and yes, i did change my name! i found it a bit easier to use and it tied in with the one i used on livestream-and strangely enough, two people said the same thing in a small side pm? more and more people are only getting the second email when i update, so that's probably why it's there. i'll try to fix this soon...

sorry if this chapter is short, it _is_ just a filler chapter though, so that's why it's early. damn it's 11pm-

 _finally, i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively._

* * *

"Sir Kiku, what are your feelings on this very sudden and large elimination?"

Kiku never liked having a microphone pointed at his face and waggled around, but he closed his eyes and complied anyway, taking a deep breath before he spoke.

"I think that the King and Jack made a sensible decision. After all, the Deciding is not an easy process, but I do think that they have handled it with efficiency."

"But the Spades Deciding, in contrast-breaking news, all you folks not living in Spades, this is the latest scoop!-have already narrowed the field of thirty to a mere eight, after the brief Joker attack."

The black-haired boy tried not to let his surprise show at that piece of information, or the audible gasp from the Jack of Hearts sitting at the back of the set (there was a reason the Primary Suit decided to ask Michelle, their charismatic and better controlled presenter, to do the job instead of the Jack, as it was traditionally done).

 _Was Arthur still in the palace?_

"They have different circumstances to ours," he said calmly, trying to hide his concern for his best friend, "the Deciding in Spades is for a romantic interest to Prince Alfred. For this one, however, it is to find a steady and successful royal to complete the Primary Suit. You remember the incident last week, yes? I would not want to disrupt the relationship between the King and the Jack, since romantic attraction is not what we are looking for here. I believe that only serves as a complication."

"But do you think such a complication will ruin the appeal of a Deciding for the Hearts kingdom? I mean, wow, fifteen people in one go! It's been less than three months and you're down to five!" Michelle gushed.

"Well, I do not think I mind with the decreased attention because I do not feel like I have as much stress riding on my back," Kiku admitted, smiling a little at the amused chuckles in the audience, "but I don't think so. We have received quite a bit of coverage anyway, and I think it does allow decisions to be made quickly without fear of public scrutiny."

"Woah, you're on fire tonight, Sir Kiku! But there's one more thing that we've gone over with Toris and Sophia that we haven't talked about with you-the polls according about who would be Queen. You ranked extremely high, you've even made the top spot along with Toris, who you're neck and neck with! A few comments that were published along with the poll results said that the public think that you're very refined and sophisticated, and you have strong magical potential. They've also commented on your reserved and polite tendencies, and your lack of a romantic attraction to any of the Primary Suit. Any comments?"

"Well, first of all thank you for your compliments," he said, feeling the lead ball grow quite a bit lighter in his stomach, "and this is really the first time I have discovered the results. It is an honour to be up there along with my closest friend in the Deciding. About my tendencies, I am descended from a family that honour these traditions of my ancestors as being polite and reserved. I hope these aspects of my personality will help improve me as a person. About my lack of attraction, however…"

"Our King and Jack are both rather attractive, no? Even our Ace is a lovely one when he wants to be!" she laughed, shooting a look at the slightly blushing Ace, who grumbled in response.

"I would say so," he said, brushing away some of his black bangs from his forehead, "but I do not wish to break up their relationship. I suppose maybe later on the line I will find someone I want to be with some day, but even then will I try to work to build a relationship like the one that the King and Jack have. The Ace is a nice person, but I will be more than content to let him discover his own path when the time is right."

 _You still love him_ , a small voice whispered at the back of his head.

Frankly, Kiku wouldn't call that a lie, even if he tried. There was a reason he never looked at Ludwig and Feliciano or even Lovino as a potential romantic partner, and that was thanks to a brown haired soldier with the most beautiful green eyes he'd ever seen.

His heart clenched once without warning, and he closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing. _In, out, in-_

"Thank you for your time, Sir Kiku! Last but not least, we'll have Lady Scarlet!"

Kiku practically forced himself out of that red velvet chair.

* * *

 _"How do you manage to keep so many cats?" I whispered, feeling another spray of whiskers brush across my face._

 _"I just like them, and I don't care what Sadiq says," Heracles shrugged, petting the head of a cream one who purred loudly and rubbed against his leg._

 _"He is a nice person," I reasoned. Their rivalry was awfully difficult to not acknowledge, since Sadiq had been surprisingly welcoming since I had started to sneak out of the holding facility to meet him._

 _"He's only like that with you. You don't know how many times he nags me about not taking overtime. We're drawn over as it is-but is it a bad thing that I like to nap?"_

 _Heracles worked at a small café near the Inner Circle. Apparently, his pay wasn't very good, but it was decent. I wished that I could take some money out of my own accord and help him and Sadiq._

 _"Of course not," I sighed, and the cat on my chest (was it Peaches? Pepper? He had so many cats it was impossible to keep track) took that as a cue to climb up onto my chest, her orange tipped tail waving in the air. Startled by the sudden weight, I stumbled, and before I could really do anything a pair of strong arms snaked around my waist and pulled me flush against a broad chest. I could feel his heart thumping rapidly, and my eyes widened._

 _"H-Heracles-!" I exclaimed, "I'm sorry, please excuse me!"_

 _"I don't mind," Heracles said, "but what if we were cats or we had tails? Then you wouldn't have to fall, Kiku, you could simply use your tail to steady yourself."_

 _"I suppose," I muttered. His dreamy rambling seemed a little confusing for me to understand in the beginning, but now it was…almost soothing. It was calming, even. These little talks spent outside the constricting holding facilities meant a lot to me. Arthur was great company, sure, but Heracles was like a breath of fresh air. He was carefree, laidback, so contrasting from the uptight, constricted life I usually led._

 _So was it a bad thing when I didn't pull away from him? Was it a bad when I knew as I relaxed against him, that there would be so much more to me than a person prepared just for the possibility to be used as a way to help a royal find love like commoners do? When I raised my gaze to meet his, was it foolish for me to imagine a future with him, in the arms of someone I loved?_

 _And what if the answers to those were all no? Was I still crossing a line by falling in love?_

 _My thoughts started to unravel as he leaned in closer, his green eyes meeting mine._

 _If the answer to_ ** _that_** _specific question was no, very, very slowly closing my eyes and pressing my lips to his definitely was._

* * *

"That was a very solid performance there, Sir Kiku." The King's gruff voice wasn't nearly as intimidating as it had been, and he offered him a dip of his head in acknowledgement.

They had just left the set, and Kiku had taken a little detour, excusing himself from Toris with a heap of apologies that the brown haired boy had mildly accepted.

"You were so confident! I only wish I could do that without breaking down in front of the public!" The Jack beamed, patting Kiku's head.

He pinked a little at this contact, but accepted his thanks all the same, his smile growing a little bigger.

"I'm worried that this may be out of protocol, but I would just like to say that your solid performance so far in social events as well as interacting with the media, which can be difficult. Simply put it, you're to be commended." The King said, giving him one of his rare smiles.

Kiku's face flooded with astonishment at this. A few months ago, he would have thought that he was too uptight, too reserved. Now people were clamouring for him to be their Queen, a successor to the throne. He couldn't believe everything was happening so fast-

But his mind was somewhere else as he quickly thanked both of them with rushed bows and ran off to his room.

 _How do I let you go?_

* * *

hey kiku here's the answer you don't

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	24. Elite

aaaaaand i'm back! i'm leaving for japan in the early morning, so next week's chapter might be late or something. sorry, and thank you for understanding!

also, there's an obligatory time skip because we're entering a new arc in the story! i hope you do enjoy it.

 _dreams-wishes-hopes_ , i was wondering whether i'd get time to throw them in, it's my pleasure! _pastaaddict_ , hopefully he finds it in himself to not give up. _fuzzywoolsweater,_ i _love_ writing sad stuff! and the brown eyes detail is almost as common as the number of blondes in hetalia haha, finally _sam_ (soulheart)...whatever i have to say i'll say in the squad chat ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

 _finally, i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for extra aggressive prucan this chapter as well. y'all have been warned-_

* * *

 _Three Weeks Later_

"This seems like a nice place," Arthur commented as Matthew slowly pushed the fortified door open.

"I suppose, it's probably the most hidden place in the palace. It's a very important room, and it holds a lot of history and precious items as well.

"Will we be punished for this, if they find us out?"

"I suppose we will be, more so for the-" Matthew began to say, but a voice from inside the room interrupted him.

"Hey, Birdie! You're here! I nearly decided to send my awesome Gilbird to fetch you, but someone might have found me out," Gilbert was smirking, wearing a finely pressed dark suit instead of his usual Joker attire.

"Gilbert," Matthew sighed, walking up to his lover and giving him a once over with his violet eyes.

"Your tie is untucked," he said fondly, his fingers working around the wine coloured tie.

"Well, it's because I left it out for you to tie it back in!" The Joker teased, giving him a cheesy grin.

"I've been tucking my stupid brother's ties in for years," Matthew muttered, but seemed happy to do it for the albino nevertheless.

"Well, I'm different from brother dearest-" The slightly taller boy started to say, but the sound of the door abruptly closing made them both whip around to face Arthur, who was the one closing the door.

"Um, apologies. Matthew, is it all right if I have a look around?"

"Yes, of course it's fine. You may read anything you want, just don't break or wreck anything. Hopefully, you're not a clumsy person like my brother," he joked in response.

"Aren't these books supposed to be restrictive material?" Arthur asked, running a slender finger against the leather bound spines of the collection of books.

"Well…if the Deciding ends like Gilbert and I think it will, knowing what's in these books will be fine for your position."

Arthur's eyes widened when he realized what the Ace had said.

"T-Thank you for your support," he blushed, his ears going read with the realization.

"Trust me, kid, even I don't see my bro all the time, he's totally smitten for you. Just remember to throw the bouquet to Matthew here, so the awesome me can propose!"

"Gilbert! W-what do you mean by…proposing?" Matthew asked, coolly meeting his gaze.

"Birdie, we can't possibly have a secret affair for much longer. I've-" Gilbert began, flustered by how easily it had slipped out in front of the Ace.

"Gilbert Beilschmidt, that is probably the _worst_ proposal I've ever heard." Matthew's voice held a tone of amusement, and the smirking expression on the Joker's face was quickly replaced by panic as he gripped the blond's hand desperately.

"Matthew, please, wait! I can make it so much more awesome than that! I can be super romantic when I want to, and-"

As an amused Matthew interrupted him by closing the distance between them, bringing up the flustered albino's hands behind his back as Arthur awkwardly looked away, fixing his gaze on his book.

"You can go ahead and make it as cheesy as want, but I want you to do it now. Don't you dare fail me now, eh?" Matthew smiled. Gilbert released a relieved breath, and fished in his jacket's pocket for a small, velvet box.

"Damn, Matthew…this love has been a wild ride for us. I know our lives are gonna be hard as hell like I am for you sometimes, but here's to hoping we'll stay together and be happy for the rest of our awesome existences. I hope the ride we're on will never come to a stop. I just want to stay by your side on that cheap carnival seat forever. Will you marry me?" Gilbert grinned, getting down on one knee.

"M-Maple, that was so cheesy…but I would be the craziest person to turn you down. Did I even tell you anything about marriage? Never mind, you're a mind reader, a smooth bastard, and the best thing that's happened to me. It would be against everything we've ever done together to say no. So…I suppose that means my answer is yes, yes, _yes_!" Matthew smiled tearily, intertwining his hand with his new fiancé's as he pout the ring, a small, violet gem on the top of a gold ring, shimmering dully in the dimming sunset.

Arthur smiled slightly, looking up for a moment from his book before scanning over the next page. It was titled with a large, embellished 'A', and Aces written in a subtitle format. Flicking a quick glance to the happy couple, he quickly turned his gaze firmly on the passage.

* * *

 _Aces have always been crucial to the Primary Suits and Cards as whole. Managing our economies, trade and to a point magic, a good kingdom would collapse without them. But it wasn't until the dramatic entrance of Heart's thirty ninth joker, who was surprising mothered by a Joker and sired by an Ace, that the true brunt of their potential was realized._

 _Even though Aces have mostly weak magic ability, nothing to match of our great Queens, the Ace who had sired him had a remarkable capacity to perform amazing feats of magic to compare with the Queen herself. The Joker had become an ambassador to the Hearts kingdom, coming from Clubs. They had an affair and eventually married, but there was no issue until the Joker gave birth._

 _It was a very difficult birth from the beginning, but the worst incident came with the infant's first cry-the mother's magical properties were cast away from her body, murdering her instantly. It was later revealed that the child had a dangerous aura when he was brought to the father's attention-sucking up magical property as he went through life. The demand grew greater as he matured, and several people were forced to be presented to the court for the reason for his survival, as the sacrifices usually died after he came into contact with them due to their very low concentrations of magical property in their bodies. He also was a very bloodthirsty Joker, waging a war against Clubs for the right to remain within Hearts. When the lust for bloodshed grew too great, his father sacrificed his memories and emotions to forcibly turn himself into a Joker, thus turning himself over to Clubs as an empty shell of a person. This tragedy left Hearts greatly rippled with no Ace and a dangerous Joker at the helm._

 _The last, crippling blow was when the Joker murdered the King and Queen in an attempt to establish an authoritarian government with himself at the top. The Jack was framed as well, and he took the weakness as to murder him as well. Now well and truly crazed with power, he nearly destroyed Cards with his declaration of annexing Hearts and fighting the other kingdoms. It took all three Primary Suits and their kingdoms united as one to defeat him, but Hearts needed a century to recover-thus helping to give birth to the beloved tradition of the Deciding, and a new law-that Jokers and Aces are to never have children together, especially if the Ace is exceptionally powerful. Such offspring of a relationship will be dangerous, and could upset the entire balance of Cards as a whole._

* * *

Arthur's eyes widened in shock, and the book fell to the floor, the sound alerting Matthew and Gilbert.

 _They're an Ace and a Joker…this isn't just_ ** _any_** _affair. Not at_ ** _all_** _._

"Arthur?" Matthew asked, picking up the book and fixing him with a concerned gaze as Gilbert peered over shoulder, skimming his gaze over the page it had been opened to.

"Birdie. He knows," the Joker breathed. "How dangerous we are together."

"Oh, Lady-Arthur, I'm so sorry," Matthew whispered, his face paling.

"You know how…how _dangerous_ this is? If someone finds out what exactly I've been keeping-I'm gone! Both of you…do you realise how mad this secret is?" Arthur gasped, his gaze darting from pale violet eyes to cloudy scarlet.

"I know it's madness what we're asking you to keep!" Matthew gripped his arm, his gaze pleading and helpless. "But please, for all our sakes-"

"You don't know what will happen if anyone finds out about us! Look, I belong to the Kingdom of Diamonds, and you know how disastrous a war would be right now. We're talking at least millions dead. Clubs and Hearts will choose the side where they think the Ace and Joker are with, which is where they usually meet. Even Spades won't be a match for three kingdoms."

"You should have thought of that sooner before you went ahead and put an entire kingdom, let alone Cards at risk!" Arthur bit back, disbelief reflected in his green gaze.

"Arthur…I know you see us as an Ace and a Joker, a threat to society, but, please see us as we really are-a pair of desperate lovers. We would do anything for each other. We've come so far together."

"If you tell anyone now, what differences does it make? We have plans to make this right. We're not like that Hearts Ace and the Joker from Clubs. Our magic isn't nearly as powerful. Matthew's…the only company I have for now, and I don't have much else to hold on to…" Gilbert reasoned, putting a hand on Arthur's shoulder, sounding desperate. The touch seemed to soothe him somewhat, and he met their gazes again.

"I suppose when you put it that way, it makes more sense now…but now you're engaged, what does this mean for the future?"

"We don't really know how exactly we're going to break the news to the general public, but we've decided to tell Alfred after the Deciding. I'm going to contact Francis rather soon. We just don't want a war breaking out."

"Do you even have plans to have children?" Arthur pressed.

They both exchanged a glance, then burst out laughing, Gilbert wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and nudging the now blushing Ace, who muttered 'maple…' under his breath.

"Not anytime soon! I'm only a year older than Alfie-boy, but yeah…kids. They'll certainly be a taboo after what happened. But Matthew's magic is just a little weaker than the Jack's and my magic, unfortunately, isn't nearly as strong as that Joker's was." Gilbert reasoned, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, his slender tail flicking from side to side in thought.

"Definitely not until the next heir to the Spades throne is born," Matthew continued, "but that's quite a while away. We must allow the public to get used to the idea of us being together first. After all, another pair of a Joker and an Ace did have a normal pair of children with no destructive tendencies or sicknesses after they passed the Trials."

"Wait…I haven't heard of that one. How come it's never come up or mentioned in the history we're told?"

"They wanted to suppress the people more than they used to," Gilbert said flatly, his tail now resting on the ground.

"Is that why cross kingdom relationships, especially with the royals, completely forbidden?" Arthur asked, confusion seeping into his tone.

"Yes, that's why," Matthew sighed, sounding completely exhausted in those three words.

"But why would they do that? Is that the same reason why most old holidays we used to have have been eradicated completely?"

"That is true. I expect that you'll find something about them in a few of the slashed books-would you like to keep one for a little while?"

"For real? Well, I saw one, but aren't I supposed to not have such material with me?"

"If you can keep your mouth shut, which you've proved amazingly with us," the Joker interjected, "I think keeping it is just fine. We can trust you, and I don't think another one would be a burden."

 _You're wrong,_ Arthur thought as he clasped the book to his chest.

But as he left the room, he couldn't help but watch behind him as Gilbert slipped off a charm of some sort and put it around Matthew's neck, giving him a tender smile.

Maybe someday, he could find someone who would love him like that, without hesitation, without restraint, without fear.

* * *

"How can you do this? It's, like, so hard!"

Arthur winced at another high note as Leon tried to inhale deeply and hit the high note, but he failed as another skewed note made its presence known.

"Yes, well, I must say you're getting better," came the feeble reassurance.

Arthur had been attempting (key word: _attempting_ ) to teach Leon how to refine his voice to sing, but he wasn't getting that much better. Heck, if he continued to have such a hard time hitting the high notes, the windows would probably smash.

"I guess it's just magical gift? Like your singing is totally crazy!"

"I don't think so," Arthur hummed, "I only do it in my free time. We should probably stop before your voice gets too croaky."

"Maybe rapping would be easier? I guess I could, like, make a sick mixtape sometime soon," Leon joked, going back to the small table where they had placed their papers.

Since the Deciding had been narrowed down to the Elite, the eight remaining people were given daily lessons by an assortment of people. The Jack wasn't their most frequent teacher anymore, it was usually an advisor or someone involved with the Suits. Once a handful of guards came into the room to teach, and the lesson ended with a crowd of laughing boys and girls staggering out of the lesson. It was usually a simple task to do with managing some parts of the country, but Arthur wasn't ever that good with numbers. Their fortnightly lessons on basic magic were a lot more interesting to him, and he'd even started to notice a small sprinkling of fairy dust, even though, oddly enough, no one else saw them…

"When we're, like, parted, be sure to listen to it, yeah?" he said, pouring tea for both of them. "I'm going to miss you when all of this is over."

"Well, it's not going to be anytime soon. The last elimination took out a lot of us, and I just think the prince isn't ready for another one so soon." The tone of the conversation had taken a more serious tone now.

"I'm not sure about that," Leon sighed, "he'd never say it because he's a totally nice guy, but I'm probably here just because the public like me so much. Now the pool's, like, smaller, the people will probably find a new favourite. Then it's bye bye to me."

"Yes, but…are you all right with that? Not getting the crown, or Alfred?"

"I wasn't here for the crown in the first place, and I can't, like, honestly be too bothered about that. Alfred however…I just totally don't feel that he's the one I'm destined to spend the rest of my life with. But that means I don't want to, like, leave just yet," he gave a small shrug, refilling his fancy cup.

"Besides, wouldn't that totally suck if I ended up with a guy who's completely in love with someone else?"

Arthur shot up straight, his eyes widening. "Who is he-"

The smug look on Leon's face was triumphant, and the smirk barely concealed behind his teacup said it all.

 _I totally saw that coming!_

He definitely had.

For a moment, Arthur had been so defeated with the thought of Alfred being so consumed with someone else that his mind was clouded with bitter jealousy. Leon's reassuring words, telling him that the other person was himself…

…the words were oddly reassuring.

It seemed like the façade that he'd been carefully constructing, teasing Alfred at his expense and giving several compliments to make the other people seem more desirable, hadn't managed to fool his best friend here in the palace.

 _Oh, bloody hell._

"Why haven't you finished this yet, Arthur?" he questioned. "You know he totally likes you in that way."

"Yes, but he's never said it out loud," he dodged.

"Well, duh!" Leon sighed, like it was the most obvious thing on the planet. "You guys are always just dodging each other, trying to, like, not say what's on your mind. But even I can see that you're both totally holding back…especially you. Why do you guys do that?"

Arthur hesitated, thinking of whether to tell Leon. He trusted him more than most in the palace, but he guessed that even the secret about the Ace was far too big to share. That even though some people, if told, might think that that would not affect his relationship with the prince, but he was already playing a dangerous enough game.

"I just…it's only been a few months. I can't say whether we're both prepared for the responsibilities that come with a lifelong commitment. We'll be royals soon after the whole thing, I guess."

Leon nodded, as if he understood.

"I know what you mean, especially with the whole Primary Suit thing. But still…don't, like, leave him hanging for too long. Just because he's not the one for me totally doesn't mean he's not an awesome guy. It would suck if you lost him just because both of you were too scared to get hurt."

He was right again. Arthur always kept his heart closer than practically anything, scared that it would be broken like a shard of glass, scared of the responsibilities and things he'd have to go through, scared of being a princess and a queen, scared of giving his heart to a honey blonde haired prince with shining blue eyes and a handsome smile.

"But again, if it does happen, you've got to invite me to your wedding. I'll totally be your bridesmaid, if you'd like me to!"

"I would appreciate the offer, but only if I get to be there and throw petals in your face as you walk down," Arthur chuckled.

"Sure, if we both wear dresses on the day! Anyway, I totally wouldn't miss it for the world." the way he said it made it seem like the event of the century.

Who knew, maybe it would be after all.

* * *

interestingly enough feliciano wears the exact same cross matthew now wears _what a coincidence_

and leon your character songs are sick you're amazing

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	25. Halloween

sorry this is late! i wanted to get to 70,000 words before i got this up, and due to schoolwork (ew) i've only just got to it ;-; and thank you for 130 reviews!

seems that you guys liked the prucan! i'll see what i can do about putting them in more, but they're pretty important to the story after all! And I do think at this point leon's their biggest shipper. _regine_ picked up on matthew's support, though, we'll see how that goes. _matthew knows everything. russia_ , i did have a great time in japan! i bought the entire boxed set of character cd's, and the new artbook. _alfred in just an undershirt_ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ

 _finally, i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for a lot of flirting._

* * *

The windows to his balcony were wide open. Sure, he had been warned to keep his doors shut just in case of some rebel thing or otherwise, but he found he couldn't care less. After all, the new set up for his room that Anna had kindly made for him was a lot more comfortable. He had been writing a letter, like he had been for the past few weeks. Him and Kiku had been feverishly exchanging letters since the snap elimination of fifteen of the Chosen in Hearts, leaving only five, including him and Toris, and of course his own set of eliminations. One day Anna had picked up a sheet of one of his letters and teased him about how formal it was, before returning to tidy up the piles of books he'd forgotten (being the scatterbrain he was).

But seeing tonight that he'd let her go early and he'd just sent off a letter to his best friend the other night and was eagerly awaiting his reply, he reached into his jacket with the trailing coattails and pulled out the book from the library.

Leafing through it, it detailed a handful of unfamiliar terms, describing holidays. Some had illustrations, such as one with a pair of children smiling broadly in front of a large tree decorated with lights and wrapped presents, or one with a rabbit and a bunch of colourfully painted eggs, apparently a holiday named Easter. As he tried to pronounce them, the words sounded strange in his mouth-as if they weren't supposed to be spoken ever again (and anyway, what kind of name was Halloween?) But again, that made some sort of sense-this book probably wasn't ever supposed to be read, let alone read aloud. However, there was a small tinge of interest in his mind.

Sighing, he slipped one of Kiku's old letters in between the pages to act as a bookmark, and slid it back into his suitcase, dusting the top before pushing it under his bed. Quietly singing a soft melody, he returned back to his table, pulling out a sheet of paper and twiddled with the pen in his hand. Yao had announced at breakfast that there would be a new Broadcast the day after tomorrow, so he'd thought that it would be proper to write down a set of topics he would talk about as to not muck up as badly as he had with the whole confession thing.

 _But again, with that kiss he'd gotten at the end of the night…_

Arthur's face fell into a slightly dreamy expression, one that quickly disappeared when a yelp came outside his door.

He whipped around, his cheeks set alight.

Alfred smiled dopily, leaning awkwardly on his doorframe.

"Is it just me, or did you feel like it was proper for you to eavesdrop?" Arthur huffed, quickly shelving his stack of letter paper and replacing his pen.

"Well, I couldn't help it! You're usually yellin' at me, sugar, and I swear you look really cute when you're all peaceful."

"Oh, shut it-and _sugar_ , honestly?" Arthur teased, but still intertwined his hand with his. Since everything else that had happened with the entire elimination and the eight people remaining in the palace, he didn't have to worry about the other teenagers teasing or hissing at him when he openly showed affection towards Alfred.

"Well, you like my pet names! It's what any good boyfriend would do!"

"Yes, well…I suppose I have to say I don't mind them, even though our method of 'dating' is rather unorthodox." Arthur hummed, running his fingers over Alfred's knuckles in a subtle, comforting gesture as they walked down the corridor.

"You do! Anyway, what were you up to before I tripped in?"

"Nothing much really, I just came back from chatting with Leon. I was reading up on a book from a library, which I might ask you to help answer my burning question that you'd hopefully know, if…"

"If what?"

"If your brain matches your overblown ego, Your Royal Smartness," Arthur teased.

Alfred stuck out his tongue in response, and then lifted up his large Spade clock, glaring at it for a moment before directing his attention back to Arthur.

"I am clever, it's just that being a hero all the time needs more strength than cleverness! But what is this answer you seek, _milady_?" he grinned, tilting his glasses playfully.

"Pray tell, do you know what Halloween is?"

Arthur half expected him to know what it meant, but wasn't that surprised when an adorably confused expression made its way to his face.

"Sorry, I don't think I've heard of that! But," he grinned, starting to pull him in another direction, "I know somewhere where we can find out."

"Hey, wait-!" Arthur began, but the prince had already started to drag him down the corridor, his speed making it hard for the blonde to catch up.

"Come _on_ , we don't have all day!"

"O-Ohy, what's with your bloody running? I can't keep up in these shoes-"

"Don't be such a prissy princess, they're just boots! You'll be fine in them!" Alfred pulled him to a staircase, and then ducked abruptly underneath, leading him into a slightly narrower corridor that seemed slightly familiar. As they reached the door, he extended his hand to the messy blonde, which Arthur cast one glance at and shook his head playfully, clambering the narrow stairs easily.

"I can get up some stairs by myself, thank you," he said, and the honey blonde's smile only grew larger.

"Still the same Artie, huh? It's good you're not changing any time soon-but here we are!" he smiled, pulling him into the room that he instantly recognized as the one which Matthew had led him to a few days ago.

But as Arthur directed his gaze to Alfred's beaming, excited face, he couldn't find it in his heart to tell him that he knew of the place already.

* * *

"This is…amazing," he whispered, trying to cover up the fact as well as he could.

Fortunately, Alfred couldn't read his atmosphere, and nodded, making his way to a slightly small television-like screen with a flattened typewriter.

"Here we go! I usually go on this thing to mess around with the entries and stuff, but we can search the room for books with the words 'Halloween' on them!"

His fingers fit comfortably on the small typewriter and within a few seconds, three small titles flashed on the screen followed by a handful of numbers.

"Nice, give me a sec!" he exclaimed, and ran his fingers over the bindings, humming lightly before giving another noise of triumph and fishing through the shelf of slashed books, before bringing out a heavy looking one with slightly dog eared corners.

He lifted the hardcover with ease, planting it on the nearest table before hurriedly flicking through the pages, accidentally ripping a little section of one page.

"Careful with that! You really do underestimate your own strength," Arthur sighed, gently taking the book from him.

The first described the holiday and the origin of it, being a Celtic festival (after a bit of digging, they found out that the Celtics were an old civilisation with 'pretty cool designs an' stuff!', and the second and third talking about how one celebrated Halloween. The entries were about how children dressed up in wonderful looking costumes, went door-to-door, saying 'trick or treat!' and being rewarded with candy or sweets, save for the few accounts of covering some poor victim's house with toilet paper. The last one touched on the date, where it documented that the holiday fell on October 31st.

"Hey, that reminds me! It's pretty much the last week of October now, why don't we have a party?"

Arthur's eyes lit up. "Actually, may we?"

Alfred's face was already scrunched in thought, his nose stoppered cutely in the sandy blond's opinion.

"We could have costumes made for each of us, and it would be cool if the guards can do some dancing and stuff-but again, you might need dancing lessons," (Arthur stuck out his bottom lip at that) "instead of poor Yao trying to do three thousand lessons for you guys. And also-the food's gonna be awesome, I promise ya! We could fly in food from the best places of Cards! Man, we're going to be stuffed at the end of the night!"

"What if we include the entire country? I mean, my siblings would probably love the idea of going door to door and doing tricks. They'd probably like to dress up as well…"

"That sounds super cool…but do you want to take it a step further? Why don't we let your siblings come over to the palace to celebrate instead?"

Arthur paused, his eyes wide with surprise. "Wait, what you're saying-"

"I'm being serious, Artie! Sometime in the Deciding, I have to meet the family of the Elite. I guess it would be cooler to have them come along and meet me now at a really cool time before we've elim-"

He was cut off by a tentative hug, and Arthur's smiling face, his eyes shining with excitement.

"You're serious, right? They're really coming, aren't they?"

"Why not? I mean, it's part of the whole thing, and based on the stories you've told me, they seem like an awesome bunch. And I'm guessing you guys do miss your family, anyway."

He bit his lip before giving the prince another hug.

"Thank you so much…they really mean a lot to me."

"So…sorry, I should go to make the plans for the party! Because again, a poorly planned party is almost as good as none, right?" Alfred beamed, pulling Arthur's hands and gently leading him out of the room.

For once, Arthur really, really didn't want to let go of his hand.

* * *

"No, it's fine, you may carry on," the photographer quickly dismissed, waving her hand with a reassuring smile.

It was now Friday, and the rest of the Chosen had been gratefully excused from their daily boredom of sitting in the Drawing Room and simply chatting around themselves when Alfred wasn't calling around. The announcement of the Halloween party had flown around the castle in relatively quick time, and that afternoon the maids had shown up to collaborate with the Elite, including a bunch of photographers collecting footage to show in the weekly Broadcast.

Arthur tried to act natural as he leafed through the various designs and scraps of material that Anna had prepared for him while she was rearranging a few strips of silk, peering over his shoulder occasionally before getting another armful of sequins and other fancy things. The camera flashed as they discussed in low tones about the plans for the outfit, and just when he was holding up a piece of finely cut leather, the door opened.

"Hello, Sir Arthur!" Alfred greeted, edging into the doorway.

Arthur instinctively straightened, and his smile grew a little more relaxed. The cameras snapped again and the photographer turned to the prince, doing a quick bow in her jeans.

"Your Highness, it's always a pleasure. Um, would you mind posing for a few pictures with this gentleman?"

"It would be my pleasure," the prince smiled, quickly falling to the other boy's side and peering over the sketches, the other hand falling against his waist. The touch seemed to drain all of the worry that had been resting in his system for a second, and he relaxed in his grip. He was thankful for Alfred's confidence in their relationship and the easy, uncomplicated way he showed and declared his affection for him.

He couldn't dismiss the warmth that his touch flooded throughout his entire body as the photographer left the room for the next person on her list, and Anna had inconspicuously dismissed herself, another knowing smile on her face as she carried a basket full of scraps out of the room.

"Your maid really does have a lot of skill, these are really cool outfits!" Alfred commented, admiring one involving a mass of feathers.

Arthur couldn't help his chest grow warm at such a compliment, so he simply nodded.

"But again, I thought you were so busy, your All Knowing Highness. What brings you here, anyway?"

"I'm sorry I can't stay long, I just wanted to pop in to see you. The advisors thought that this might be a little troublesome, but I managed to convince them otherwise. And the little meeting family argument that I used probably made them agree more."

"Hmm, I wonder why?"

"Well, I think they want to narrow the playing field as soon as possible. They're eager for another elimination, and I'm probably going to have to do it when I meet their parents. It's what usually happens after all. Apparently the public would like one as well? And it's very important to me-personally-to make a good impression on the public."

"That's completely fine…I just didn't know about the elimination side. But again, I'm just guessing it's a little insight. You'll be fine, for sure, Alfred." Arthur smiled, catching sight of his mussed tie as he fiddled with it nervously.

"Well…your support really helps me an' all! I really appreciate it."

"Please don't tell me that you still rely on your brother to tie your ties," came the reply as he worked his slender fingers into the tie embroidered with spades, straightening it and hesitating before kissing him on the cheek.

Alfred instantly blushed, and seemed like he wanted to say something, but he noticed his clock and examined it closer before a slightly panicked expression settled on his face.

"Artie, I'm sorry, but I have to finish my rounds. I'll see you at dinner, okay?"

The sandy blonde's face faltered for a second, but he nodded steadily, and gave him a small wave as he left as quickly as he came.

* * *

Arthur spent the rest of the week worrying if he'd gone too fast with that kiss on the cheek. The palace was still a hive of activity, preparing for the party, but the thought was still nagging at the back of his mind. On the weekend, the Elite spent time taste testing the menu along with the Jack (who turned out to be a surprisingly amazing cook) and then looking at the décor on the day with Prince Matthew, who seemed very experienced with the whole thing. However, on Monday morning, Marianne disappeared for half the day, coming back with a slightly smug expression and when asked, simply told the rest of the group that 'Prince Alfred sends his thoughts'.

For Tuesday and Wednesday, the boys and girls and the rest of the Primary Suit went out to greet people who were coming closer into the nearby town for the party that the princes had organized. Arthur caught sight of Matthias and Emil (whose broken gait seemed to have improved) greeting a blonde sporting a cross barrette in his hair and an odd curl, and Officer Oxenstierna (as he later found out) talking happily to a cheery blonde who had brought a small dog and a rather round stomach. But the evening after they watched Alfonso and Alfred do an archery lesson together in the gardens, near the outhouse, both of them seemingly more than happy to put their arms around each other.

Meals went on as usual, but the number of people actually attending wavered every day. The prince often was missing, and so were Avie and Leon. The atmosphere between the groups awkwardly grew tense, and Arthur was almost desperate to yank it out of his mind on the Thursday in the Drawing Room for their final dance lesson, which Arthur had been stumbling through for the entirety of the week. His dancing skills were nowhere as good as Sakura's, who elegantly swept her way through the lesson, but at least he could stay on his two feet.

As they left the last lesson and Arthur had bid goodbye to Leon after that, he'd thought about the worst case scenarios-knocking out some poor visiting guest with his leg, flooring an entire table filled with food, sprawling on the floor and embarrassing his dance partner completely. After even more considering, he'd realized that it wasn't surprising to know that the prince was having second thoughts about his eligibility for the role as a princess, let alone a queen. He'd be a straight off embarrassment to take control of greeting another Primary Suit, let alone to any person coming into the castle.

Anna was pouring a cup of tea for both of them, and beckoned him over with a calming smile.

"So," she started, "I have to assume that it's not the dance lesson you're worried about. With that expression, I know it's obviously this little nit-pick about the prince."

Arthur offered her a half smile, slightly relieved at how well she could read him.

"Well, my mother used to say if stupid boys can't realize how good one is and how much potential they have, they're not up to scratch as well. Worked for me, I don't have to tell you how many snotty boys I've had to decline over the months I've been working here!" she huffed, sitting down to enjoy the tea. "Seriously, can't a girl get a breather around here?"

He laughed, still staring at the table in embarrassment.

"But seriously, even if you don't win the crown, that doesn't mean you're useless. I'm sick of people who think if you don't win something specific, it makes you less worthy." Her expression betrayed a deeper meaning, but Arthur decided not to push her.

"That really means a lot to me, Anna. I mean…this whole thing is completely messing with me. Would it be slightly awkward to give you a hug?"

"Nah, that would be great," she commented, shrugging her shoulders.

* * *

we're actually super close to 150 reviews! i treasure all of them so thank you 3

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	26. Clan

i'm not sure whether i want to go with updating on wednesday or saturday. please tell me what you guys think, i really appreciate your feedback ^^

ok this is the point where i answer your lovely reviews (144? **? _?_** oh my god thank you) **_blue_ ,** i'm so happy to hear that you're enjoying the story! i realise that some of the ships featured in the story aren't what people like, and that's fine with me. thank you so much for saying that you don't ship prucan in a civil way! **_regine_** , to clarify, arthur was worried about the possibility of him leaving. al has been pretty open so far, huh? we'll see if he'll regret it or not, huhu. **_fuzzywoolsweater_** , i actually have been prewriting the last few chapters, and i only just read your review after i finished it...i probably should write an omake involving their tradition of scaring each other! i managed to sneak in a line, but it's not enough _ _||

also, heads up that there's going to be a lot of fluff in these next few chapters...be prepared!

 _finally, i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for fancy dress, the kirkland clan and abuse of the phrase what if._

heads up, there's going to be a reupload tomorrow morning. i'm going to delete this after i've done it, thank you very much!

* * *

Tim-the Netherlands

Louis-Luxembourg

Austen-Macau

* * *

"I can't believe you actually went with it," Alfonso laughed, pulling on the sleeves of his chef costume.

"You've already, like, lost a bet," Leon retorted, seeming not at all embarrassed wearing Emma's bright red dress.

"Well, he looks really pretty anyway!" Emma said cheerfully, striking a pose next to her friend, her red tie marking them as matching.

"I think everyone rooks rovely tonight," Sakura smiled. Her dress faded from dark blue to jet black, small sequins studded into her dress. She seemed to be masquerading as the night sky.

"But seriously, how long _did_ Anna take on that costume?" Emma asked, tentatively touching the brim of Arthur's hat.

To his great satisfaction, Arthur was dressed as a pirate with all the furnishings; a white shirt and reused dark dress pants tucked under a fancy scarlet jacket with a flourishing hat and smirk.

"We just got bits and bobs from the other places, she really just put the jacket together. But yes, it's surprisingly comfortable," he added, pulling on his cravat, straightening it out again.

"The prince will be totally all over you," Leon teased, winking at him.

"Oh, shut it!" Arthur protested, rapidly growing red, stifling a smile. However, a small lump of doubt began to grow in his throat.

The others probably outshone him, even though he did have a more flamboyant outfit on. What would he think then?

"Guys, shh! There's a bunch of people at the door!"

The entire ballroom went silent as a crowd of guards went to the front, announcing the arrival of the Elite's families.

The carefully orchestrated order that had fallen over the eight of them shattered the moment Emma and Leon's families burst through the door. They both pelted forward, squealing and laughing as they ran to their respective families, hugging them. The Jack shook his head fondly, and beckoned the rest forward, but Arthur managed to stay put until he saw a mess of red hair, then went forward, waving his hand as he did so.

* * *

"Allistor! Erin!" he called, and the chorus of his name filled his veins with relief as the Kirkland clan burst in the room.

"Look at you, wee bairn, you've cleaned up nicely," Erin said, patting his shoulder fondly.

"At least, nicely enough for a rascal like you," Allistor teased, ruffling his hair, Christian slapping him on the back in a brotherly gesture, his thick eyebrows slanted in amusement. Dylan clutched onto his jacket and quickly started playing with one of the sequins.

"Where's Cormac, by the way?"

"He's away at work, bless. I've locked away the alcohol for the week, and he sends his love," Erin smirked, flipping her mousy brown hair in an exaggerated gesture.

" _So,_ Artiekins, how's the prince? Is he cute? Erin's totally got the hots for him, so whatever you'll say will make her jealous as nuts-"

"Christian, shh! Artie's definitely got something going for him-oh my goodness gravy, he's coming _here_!"

Arthur watched in astonishment as his entire family fell silent in record time as the prince entered the group's field of vision, his trademark beam on his face.

"Hey, Arthur's family! Um, this might sound a lil informal, but is it okay if I know the people who are like the adult figures here? "

"It's fine, Your Highness," Erin said flatly, "I think Allistor and I, being the oldest, technically count. After all, we've looked after him since he was five."

"Oh. I'm sorry about that, that was exceedingly rude of me. It's a pleasure to meet you all. Sir Arthur here has spoken very fondly of you."

"It's no problem. It's a pleasure to know Artie's taken a shine to you, mate," Christian replied, casting a knowing look to his younger brother, who blushed and looked away.

"Christian, shh! Not now, _please_ ," Arthur retorted, shooting an apologetic look at Alfred, who only winked at him.

"Actually, I'd love to get to know you all better. You all seem to have a good relationship with your entire family!"

"Oh, we get along smashing, although Artiekins is sort of the black sheep of family. He's a lot more refined than the rest of us. We're not cut out for his fancy tastes," Allistor smirked, ruffling his baby brother's already scruffy hair.

"Their favourite pastime through the years is to embarrass me and it hasn't changed a jot," Arthur said dryly, "Why don't you all go greet the other families? I mean, we have dinner in a bit, so you can wander around…right?"

At the mention of food, all four of them perked up. Dylan gave him a big hug before allowing Christian to give him a piggyback ride, and waved goodbye. Erin bent down and gave him a sisterly kiss on his cheek, which caused Arthur to sputter in surprise, yelping her name. She bashfully smiled at the prince before going to talk to Emma's family, an imposing man with tall, fair hair to match, and a smaller boy who pranced around the pair as they eagerly talked.

"So…nice family ya got there," Alfred said quietly, a goofy smile on his face.

"You don't know the brunt of it. In fact, not even my parents managed to get them to all shut up at one given time. You're probably the only person so far to accomplish that."

"I wonder how it's going to be. I mean, when I choose my princess-well, my Queen-will she or he want only the heir and the spare, or a rowdy family like yours? Will our family be loud and lively like yours, or quiet and secluded like mine? Honestly, I'd like one like yours, but I hope yo-they'll want a family like yours."

Arthur realized the small slip up, but managed not to tease him about it. But he felt the colour in his cheeks nonetheless-Alfred could really imagine a future with _him_. Even with all his reluctant tendencies on the definition of their relationship and how far they were both prepared to go, he was still his endearing idiot.

"Well, whoever it is, they're standing awfully near you anyway," he said, gesturing slowly to the crowd of the Elite and their families, "and I guess you should be making your rounds. If you want your intended to want to have plenty of children, you should seek their families' approval when you can-right here, right now."

"That is a good idea. I promise…I'll see you for the dance, all right? I'll try to outshine your outfit-although I don't think that's possible, due to the person wearing it," Alfred smiled, pressing a kiss to Arthur's cheek before edging off.

The meaning of his sentence didn't settle in until a little later-and left him sputtering and with bright red cheeks.

"Your Highness, come back here _-!_ "

* * *

"Ooh, tell me more! Is he like a really nice person?"

"Well…not to sugarcoat it or anything, but he can be quite a bit oblivious," Arthur smiled, and Dylan laughed, bouncing on his brother's knee.

"Your brother's not telling the whole story," Erin teased, ruffling the boy's hair as she nibbled on a biscuit. She seemed very comfortable in the palace, handling the expensive items with a certain daintiness Arthur was sure that hadn't made a visit when she was in the house. "Apparently, Miss Anna told me that these two were flirting the second the prince came into his room the other night."

"Erin!" Arthur protested, his cheeks turning scarlet.

"I'm not exaggerating, that's what your maid says!" she shrugged gleefully.

"Have you two kissed yet?" Allistor demanded. He had certainly dressed up for the occasion, wearing a fancy suit with a tie.

Arthur hesitated, pulling nervously at his costume before Christian patted him on the shoulder.

"By the looks of it, they've definitely shared a smoochie multiple times," he beamed, his thick eyebrows narrowed in a teasing expression.

"Christian!" Arthur yelped, batting at his arm and blushing madly.

Dylan giggled loudly, and hung onto his arm like a little koala would.

"Honestly, though…are you in love with him?" Erin asked, brushing back a stray lock of brown hair.

"Well…if you put it that way, I don't think I'm ready to admit to the whole world just yet. It's a little private detail I don't want to share, but there are people like Emma and Alfonso who probably would be happy to say so," he mused. "But I would say that…I care for him. Deeply. I don't know whether he'll feel the same."

The three older Kirkland siblings exchanged a glance and sighed in unison.

"Artiekins, we're not concerned about the prince as much as you. But if you stop feeling anything for him at any time in this competition, we'd be all too happy to let you come home if you wished. But I don't think that you have to hold back. He seems like a nice boy, after all. I think he'll do a lot for you."

"I won't be surprised if he held this whole party thing just to get your attention~!" Dylan nodded eagerly in response.

The sandy blonde's eyes widened, and Allistor clapped his hands together.

"Okay, that's it. Erin, you owe me five dollars."

"W-What? He didn't even confirm anything!" she hissed, but still looked smug as she turned to face Arthur.

"Did he really throw this thing for you? Come on, wee bairn, be honest-"

"N-Not exactly, I just was confused about what Halloween was, and he found this book for me-well, books, that told us about what it was and what people did on that holiday. So I guess we planned it out, but he did ask to invite the families after…I don't even know, but it was terribly kind of him."

'That's so cute!" Erin laughed, ruffling his hair fondly. "He's _totally_ head over heels in love with you, and I probably won't be pushing it if I said that you are, too!"

The lump of doubt grew a little more in Arthur's throat, but he tried to push it away. He didn't want to spoil his sister's fun, for once.

"For once, I'm agreeing with you,"

"What do you mean, for _once_? I'd have you know that I'm the love expert in this family!"

"Yeah, go tell that to your pitiful boyfriends that ran away after I threatened a knee jerk to the balls, and I didn't even do anything!"

"I did the same thing the first night we met," Arthur chimed in awkwardly, and the entire family paused for a second before exploding into howls of laughter.

"You're not serious, are you? God, Artiekins, you have _guts_!"

"I'm sobbing," Erin gasped, and Dylan beamed. "She's not!"

"If he still likes you after that, he's a keeper!" Christian assured him, wheezing in amusement.

"For sure he is!" Dylan piped up, and Arthur had to bury his hands in his face to hide his blush.

* * *

As they reassembled in the Drawing Room, everyone was in an especially cheery mood. Emma's older brother, Tim, was talking in a low tone with her, a stylish scarf wound around his neck. Her little brother Louis seemed to resemble Tim more than Emma, with his light brown hair. However, his personality was more like his older sister, as he talked animatedly to Dylan in a corner. Alfred was enthusiastic as ever in the beginning, him and Matthew going around the families and greeting them and asking questions, no doubt trying to get a grip on more important information about them. He wasn't in the room anymore, but Matthew was still talking cheerfully to Marianne's family. The Jack had seemed to abandon his flowing sleeves for a more constricting garment and was talking quietly and making his rounds in place of the prince. Leon had tugged Arthur away to talk with his brother Austen when Dylan pulled on his jacket, an eager expression on his face.

"Dylan! It's not good manners to leave now, especially since when the Ace and Jack are here!" Arthur admonished.

"But Artie, come take a look at this!" he insisted, pulling him quickly to one of the large and arching windows in a hallway illuminated with moonlight.

Tilting his head, he managed to get a good view of the gardens and two figures amongst the lavish plants. One was Allistor, his distinct red mop of hair unmistakeable even in the darkened sky, and Alfred with his hands swinging around.

They walked slowly for a while, Allistor stopping occasionally to use his hands to emphasise a point, and the prince slowly nodding on.

Arthur chanced a quick glance around the room; no one seemed to have noticed their absence. Leon had called his brother over and was introducing them to Alfonso, apparently having grown a soft spot for Dylan's habits already.

Abruptly, Allistor stopped in front of Alfred, and spoke slowly with a fierce look on his face. His heart lurched for a second, but he calmed down after he saw him place his hands firmly on his shoulders without any aggression. After a moment, Alfred nodded eagerly and patted his shoulder slowly, a smile on his face. They both seemed to relax for a while before Allistor laughed and patted his back, before wrapping his arm around the prince's shoulder. He seemed slightly confused, but his expression was pleased all the same.

"Hmm, I wonder what that was all about! Artie, do you know?" Dylan clamoured, waving his hands as his gesture for wanting to be picked up.

"I have no idea," Arthur obliged, picking up the little tyke carefully. He hadn't done this for a while, and it would be a bad idea to drop his youngest brother on the floor.

"Well, I think it looks important, because Allistor wouldn't budge from the food table even after I asked him to go walk with me!" the redhead laughed as they made their way back to the Drawing Room.

"That is true-but next time, just pull him away regardless. If he doesn't watch it he'll get fat. Don't tell him I said that, though."

Arthur kept an eye out for any more of a one on one conversation, but saw nothing.

However, that feeling of doubt only intensified as he walked back into the chatty room.

 _What if he wanted to explain something? Was Allistor just curious about something, or someone?_

 _What if Alfred wanted to tell him first before he did something?_

 _…what if Alfred's preparing to kick me out?_

* * *

ok ok ok i promised fluff it's _coming_

finally, six more reviews until 150! i'm probably going to write an omake then to thank all of you lovely readers 3

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	27. Sugar

**150 reviews! ahhh *throws hamburgers and teacups in celebration* thank you so much for all your support! here's to 200 and more (=ヮ= )৩**

i just realized i made a huge mess on the floor. i've gotten expensive china and lettuce over the floor-don't do this kids ^^||

okok i'm planning to do an omake at 200 reviews (or maybe whenever i want to lmao) about their little tradition of scaring each other because i've been writing too much ang-oh, _never mind_

 _russia_ , i know that feeling (especially with angst fics ಥ_ಥ) _pastaaddict,_ most likely than not he is! _regine,_ i actually found this list of nicknames for arthur that were seriously underused and well artiekins caught my eye. And _Guest_ , thank you for your input! if more people ask, i'll see what i can do to change the update to saturday. and _fuzzywoolsweater,_ (thanks for your omake suggestion btw!) arthur's really doutbful haha-i love the kirkland clan as well ^^ and finally _GalacticSpoon_ (welcome back to the party!) it _is_ sailing! we're going full steam here...

 _finally, i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for fluff, tomatoes, accents, carefully hidden spoilers, references to character CDs and the Halloween episode, tiny tiny bits of spabel, siblings, fancy dress part two and **fluff**._

 **reupload's going to be on sunday hk time. thank you for understanding 3**

* * *

Antonio-Spain (a reminder even though you all probably know who he is)

Amber-nyo!Hong Kong

* * *

The party was as lavish as it had been described. As Arthur walked in, still carrying Dylan piggyback even after the small break when they were changing for the party, (his arms were starting to ache), he couldn't tear his eyes from the stunning room. The room was transformed from a golden area to a darkened place, dusky like a sunset. The walls were draped with orange and purple decorations, and even the bowls and chalices were fashioned using the same scheme, however being covered with very bright sweets. It was nothing but breathtaking.

Upbeat and quirky music was playing in the background, but a small quartet was sitting around, no doubt ready to play music for their dance later. He shuddered as he thought about it, but managed to push the thought to the back of his head as he admired the scenery.

Cameras were obviously dotted around the place. They were obviously going to air this event and put them on television sets all over Cards, and he definitely wasn't looking forwards to that-but again, it was just all part of the process. There wasn't a celebration so far that quite compared to one like this, even during the Meeting, so this was bound to be the highlight of the Deciding programming so far.

"I wish I had that idea as well! Your brother looks so cute, I should have asked Louis to get into a dress as well!" Emma laughed, patting Dylan's head.

Anna had made his little brother up into a parrot to match his pirate outfit, and he waved his arms in response, making little bird noises to match.

"You're already matching with Leon, he'd be slightly hurt if you'd had another one. He looks good with Tim anyways," Arthur countered, shrugging his shoulders. He seemed relieved to finally have the weight of his brother gone.

"Amber refuses to dress up with me, I'm jearous of you two!" Sakura huffed. She was dressed up as a white fox of some kind, two cute ears poking out of her black hair.

"Her outfit was super flashy though! I mean, who would have thought of a puffin to dress up as?"

"Toucan," Leon interjected, sliding into the group as smoothly as his dress would allow him. "Puffins' beaks aren't nearly as colourful."

"This rittle one is keeping up with the bird theme, I see?"

"I totally wish I had a younger sibling, though. Right, Sakura?"

"O-of course," she smiled, "but I do think Amber is enough work for me."

"Yeah, even though I totally appreciate Austen, he nags too much. Arthur, you've, like, lucked out." Leon sniffed, fluffing out his dress.

"Four siblings constantly teasing you about everything isn't what I would call 'lucked out'," came the retort.

"But have you seen Alfonso's cousin? Oh Duchess, isn't he gorgeous?" Emma swooned.

"Touché, Ems-and anyway, what happened with the prince?"

"Nothing, Leon, nothing! But _still_ , Antonio's such a sweetheart! And have you seen his-"

"Emma, I do not want to hear more gushing about his butt from you," Sakura fidgeted, and the group burst into laughter.

"He's a general in Hearts, even so. But please, no forbidden affairs," There had been enough to last anyone a lifetime.

"Yeah, that's, like, a good point. Who knows, he could be taken," Leon seemed uncomfortable for a second, but quickly reverted back to his cheery mood.

"Aaaww, you guys ruin all the fun!" she whined playfully, but before either of them could speak, the DJ stepped up to the podium, strangely resembling Sakura.

"I thought she was onry joking!" Sakura protested.

"Wait, what?" Leon shouted over the music, which had suddenly grown louder and more upbeat.

"That is my sister, Amber!" came the answer.

* * *

"Let's give it up for the Primary Suit of Spades, Their Majesties Prince Alfred and Prince Matthew, and His Highness Jack Yao!" she announced, pulling down her earmuff-like accessory from her ears.

The Jack was dressed up in flamboyant robes of red and gold, seemingly representing a mythical creature. Compared to the rest, he seemed like the most regal person in the room tonight.

Prince Matthew had gotten into a simple white tunic complete with bear ears, dressed as a polar bear. Kumajiro was right next to him with glasses and a fake curl, amusingly dressed up to look vaguely like his owner.

And Prince Alfred made his grand entrance as a cowboy, going the whole way with a hat, leather boots and vest. Humourously enough, he had a small hobbyhorse to match, casually holding the pole with his hand.

Due to a lack of partners in general for the three men, people just piled onto the dance floor and began to dance. Leon and Emma jumped in, waving to their group before doing some sort of fast paced foxtrot involving plenty of hand movement. Arthur secretly hoped he'd be asked to dance, but kept quiet, content to stand next to Alfonso as he watched Avie and Alfred sweep around the dance floor.

* * *

"Hey, Arthur, have I introduced you to my cousin?" he said, after a while.

"Actually, no. I'd love to meet him, though."

"Uh…that's the thing, he's right here! ANTONIO!" he hollered, causing Arthur to nearly drop his tart.

"If he's near us anyway, then-" he began to retort, but caught sight of a near perfect lookalike of Alfonso beaming next to him.

"Hello! I'm Antonio, nice to meet you!" he sang, shaking his hand a little too enthusiastically for his taste.

"Uh…have you cloned yourself?"

"Nope! I'm a completely different person, trust me-"

"I do have my reservations for a fellow I just met," Arthur retorted, "but you seem nice enough. It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Arthur."

"What a cool name!" Antonio exclaimed, slapping him on the back cheerfully. "Say, what's your favourite food?"

"Toni, don't overwhelm him, please…he's my new friend, I don't want to chase him away just yet!" Alfonso begged, but wrapped his arm around his cousin all the same.

"Ah-no, it's fine, Alfonso…and to answer your question, I like tarts and things-"

"Alfonso's a really cool guy! He's good at pretty much everything, and he's super chill! Also, just in case you didn't know, my favourite food is tomatoes!"

"Sorry, he's obsessed with them. He's famed for eating them raw in my family while we watch him!"

Arthur laughed, imagining Antonio stuffing handfuls of tomatoes in his cheeks while the rest of his family watched in horror.

"That's the spirit, _mi amigo_! Tomatoes definitely bring you joy!"

"Toni!"

Okay, maybe the whole tomato thing was a little strange.

 _Just_ a little.

* * *

It wasn't until the DJ had changed the music to a song that had a steadier beat that Arthur got asked to dance. Honestly, he felt a little tired of watching Sakura expertly dance with Alfred on the floor, dreamy expressions on both of their faces, and was slightly relieved when Officer Steillson appeared next to him, extending his hand.

"Hello, Sir Arthur…is it all right if I get a dance?"

He quickly recognized him as the guard Leon and him had seen in the safe room, and nodded, quickly taking his hand.

"Just a word of warning though, I'm not the best dancer here."

"No problem at all, I'm not very good myself," he laughed nervously, leading him onto the dance floor. "Let's take it slowly, shall we?"

Arthur managed to keep up, but seeing as he had recently healed from the rebel attack, he was definitely taking it a little slow, and they were both happy to stay at the pace they were at.

"I'd, um, also like to thank you for what you did for me the other day in the safe room," he said, "I honestly don't think I would have made it without you and Sir Leon's help."

"It's good to see that you've recovered. I mean, your wounds seemed awful, and you were just doing your part. Thank you."

"I'm relieved you're as understanding as some people say. Apparently words has been floating around saying that you're a favourite of Prince Alfred? You two are close…right?"

"I…honestly, I'm not quite sure," Arthur sighed. With everything that had been happening these past few weeks, he thought that Alfred was starting to lose interest in him.

 _But again, it isn't like I'm anything to be interested over in the first place…_

"Sounds like you've made fast friends with Leon as well. He talks fondly of you, and I guessed his motives as soon as he ran to the door. He's fiercely protective of all his friends, anyway, so it was more of his idea than mine."

Officer Steillson flushed slightly at this, and nodded slowly.

"Well…Sir Leon has been very kind to me, for sure. He does the same for you as well, and I'm glad to have a friend like him."

"I wonder if he calls you by your full name when you're greeting each other?" Arthur wondered out loud.

"Ah…no, actually. He just calls me Emil-and I'm more than happy for you to call me that as well. Formalities aren't my favourite part of the job," he joked, both of them awkwardly sidestepping Marianne and a guard dressed as an nautical animal.

Both of them left the floor after a while, seeing that Emil was starting to tire a little. They both sat on a couch swapping chocolates and stories about his puffin when Alfred swept in front of him and asked him to dance.

"Sir Arthur, may I have this dance?" he smiled, but Arthur could catch a small flash of jealousy in his eyes.

"Of course, Your Highness," he replied, waving a cheery goodbye to Emil before he was walked to the dance floor.

The DJ had given up the music selection to the small quartet, and they were opening up with a slow song, which suited Arthur's clumsy pace as they began to waltz.

* * *

"Is there anything I'm missin' between you and that guard?" Alfred's tone was slightly playful, but he could sense the envy behind his words.

"It's nothing, I promise. He's just a nice fellow. I was making good conversation while I was watching _someone_ dance." he teased right back.

"You wanted to dance with me?" All the negativity in his expression was replaced with childish surprise. "Aaaww, Artie, you should have told me! I would've taken ya out a lot sooner!"

"T-That's not what I meant, idiot!" Unfortunately for the sandy blond, his blush and averted gaze gave it all away.

"You look awesome tonight, Arthur. Jus' maybe wild enough to be in the arms of a super hot cowboy!"

"Don't get too full of yourself," Arthur smiled, "you're wild enough for me, cowboy."

"Of course, darlin'," he purred in _that_ accent, the one that made his face heat and goosebumps appear on his skin.

"But again, how could have you have improved? Dress as something completely silly, like a flower?"

"We'll see about next year," he promised.

Arthur's confused gaze met his.

 _Next year? How will there even be a next year for this?_

 _...For both of us to still be together?_

"Wouldn't that be nice, sugar? We'd throw another party next October, an' we'll get everyone to dress up again!"

"I would definitely like that…but will I even be here next October?" Arthur asked, half to himself.

Alfred paused, tilting up his cowboy hat. "Wait…what'cha sayin'?"

"We…haven't been spending any time together these two weeks," he mumbled, staring down. "And…you and my brother, I saw you two were talking. I thought you might be reasoning with him, explaining something…explaining why you would kick me out." The lump finally choked in his throat, and he fought back his tears.

"Arthur?"

"It's all right. I've been here long enough for your taste, and you said that we needed to eliminate someone after tonight's party. I'm not even-"

"Hey, Artie, you can stop now," he said, a fond expression on his face. "I guess you're right for once. I am an idiot. I had no idea that you'd see like that, but…I thought you knew what you meant to me."

His eyes shot up from his chest to his face.

"Well, you've been honest with me before, and I guess it's my job to be honest back! You know how you helped me before, to really find someone that I could love in this whole thing?"

Arthur, still very confused, nodded slowly as they started to sway again.

"I've tried so hard, and I have found it in a few of them, but…it's nothing like yours. I mean, what I feel for you is so much more than what I feel for the others."

Arthur felt slightly lightheaded, and he knew it definitely wasn't the small flute of champagne he had consumed earlier.

"When you confessed to me that night, I could barely believe it. Here you were, telling me how you felt, and I realized that I couldn't keep away from you any longer. I _wanted_ you, Artie, but I was so scared in that moment. I mean, what if you ran away? What if you changed your mind and left me? I've been trying to find someone that matters as much to me like you, but…" he shrugged almost sheepishly. "I haven't found anything quite as much. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough, or we just don't click as well with the others as I hoped we would…but never mind. But knowing that I want you so badly, that it would shatter me if you were to leave…that's super scary for me. What if you had someone else, or you actually don't like me in that way?"

He felt his chest thumping harder than it had before, and in a heartbeat, he understood so much more. Alfred wasn't as foolish with his affections as he thought he was. He was simply as shy as he was, but had an odd way of expressing it. But the way that he said it, the way that he made him feel…it was almost too good to not have a catch in any way.

 _And in that way…I understand him._

"B-but, it's still sort of early to say that nothing will happen though. I mean, do you want to ruin your one chance with me-"

"It's not called ruining, sugar," he purred against his ear.

"It's just me making the best mistake of my entire life."

And when Alfred pulled him so close than Arthur could smell his musky scent and feel his heartbeat against his own, he didn't want to pull away anymore.

* * *

i _promised-_ a late present haha

there were a few lines mentioned here that were mentioned in previous chapters-shoutout if you could spot them haha

also, the crossdressing-ish might be a usual occurance. not a _usual_ one per se, but it's going to be mentioned from time to time ;0

finally, about next chapter-i think you guys might want to bring out your pitchforks...

 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	28. Impend

mixed chapter to match my grieving emotions ＜(。_。)＞

also i watched civil war today and it was _amazing_ -other than the fact that i had to watch my otp being torn apart :) _i'm going down with RMS steggy_

 _blue_ (welcome back to the party!), thank you for recing my fics to other people! it really means a lot to me that you think my fic is good enough for others to read! _ameythst,_ wowow you read up to here! ah yes, i'll definitely do more of the hongice if people think it's good! i hope i'm writing them well-and the pole horse probably was swung around his back like cap's shield. im sorry im being consumed by cacw right now but he probably bumped into three advisors with that stick! _thisistheearth_ , he whips out that accent like a sword-and amber definitely changed it to some kind of dubstep, knowing her taste! everyone who mentioned al's accent-i'm a sucker for his southern accent i'm sorry haha

about the pitchforks...you'll see.

 _finally, i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for disgusting fluff, pet names, love expert leon, bashful alfred, blushy arthur and cliffhangers._

* * *

"If there was a way that we could speak privately without you getting tired, I would have already done it."

"Is it a bad thing that I'm finally dancing with you, and you just blow me away with this? I'm mad, Your Highness," Arthur whispered breathlessly, a teasing smile on his face.

"I do what I can, sugar. But again, I want us to take as much time as we need. Of course, after all, I have to make an elimination after this. But again, I don't want you to feel afraid of anything. I want you to be confident in yourself, and be prepared for anything that crosses ya. After all, it means that I get to spoil you more."

"W-what? As if you don't already spoil me enough…" he stammered, so overwhelmed by him.

In a good way…if there _was_ such a thing.

"When the time's right, when…I ask you, of course, I want you to say yes in a space of a heartbeat. I'll do pretty much everything that has to happen before we can get there. I'll make you my princess, my queen, and no one will even try to stop me." he winked, and Arthur pressed into him, making them physically closer than they had ever been before.

"You idiot," he mumbled, his cheeks on fire. "What else can I offer you now? Of course, you have the world at your fingertips, but you've already done so much for me. How can I ever pay you back?"

He smiled bashfully, spinning him around as a couple whizzed past them, and Arthur barely registered them as Leon and Officer Steillson before he tucked him securely in his arms.

"Honestly, that's nothing if I can't have you. I'm being seriously selfish here, but I'd love to spend the rest of my days with you. So please, promise that you'll stick with me."

"…When you say things like _that,_ I don't have any choice but to say yes!" the sandy blonde huffed, but seemed awfully content to dance with him through song after song. He didn't care that this was probably the most public they had gone with their relationship so far, or that his family were probably losing their nuts over this. (Like screaming, or freaking out nuts. He didn't think they would drop actual nuts. But again…) It was just like they were the only two people in the room at that moment.

"How could ya ever think I'd be that so willing to let you go?"

"Then why were you talking with Allistor in the first place?"

"Of course, being a hero, I had to tell your brother what I felt about you in the first place," he grinned. "And I guess he was happy just as long as I didn't, punch, kick, threaten, yell or hurt you in any way. He prescribed a very thorough list of stuff he's gonna put me through. S'good that I'm not going to hurt you any time soon, if at all."

"My brother actually means business, funnily enough. If you even try, I'll do it myself. And anyway, what's with all your pet names?"

"It's only right for me to give ya a pet name. What would you like, then? Darlin'? Sugar? Princess? Babe?"

"Are you serious right now?" Arthur groaned, watching Alfred's goofy smile. "Fine, then what would _you_ be okay with? Love? Poppet? Sweetheart? Dearest?"

"I-I'd be happy to let you call me anything, just as long as it's you!" he suddenly seemed flustered at the influx of names, clearly not expecting that from him.

"Then I'll stick with complete idiot," Arthur teased.

For once, he was sure. So sure that the golden boy of Cards actually liked him in the same way like he did.

And maybe, it was time to own up to his feelings and give a little bit of himself as well.

For once in this whole Deciding process, Arthur wasn't afraid anymore.

* * *

And as the party dispersed and people started to head back into their rooms, Arthur and Leon both collapsed on a couch, both of them exhausted by the lively party.

"That was a totally sweet party! Though the dancing…I'll never do it quite as much."

"You were being swept up left and right! Not much of a surprise though, I must say that you managed to pull of the dress really well."

"Well, duh!" Leon laughed, turning a wobbly circle. "Actually, next huge party we have, let's, like, get _you_ in a dress!"

"No!" Arthur sighed, but couldn't help laughing. "I only wear them on weekends-and I wonder how you managed to stay on your feet with all the distracting material around your legs."

"It's actually not that different from wearing pants. It's a lot less constricting, for one. Anyway, what were you doing with the prince? It seemed totally different then _just_ dancing!"

He shoved his best friend in response, blushing wildly.

"W-what are you talking about? We were just dancing-"

"The way he was looking at you _definitely_ wasn't just, like, dancing."

"Shut up! Of course it was, we just…I just…"

"Come on, Arthur, fess up," Leon said firmly. "What both of you feel for each other is totally more than friends."

"I'm not so sure about that! I mean, I…I guess I do, a little bit, but I don't know if he really likes me as I like him."

"Aargh! Can both of you, like, _stop_ holding back? You guys already want to get into each other's pants already!" he said, miming fainting.

"Leon!" he was doubling over with laughter now. "I haven't really seen his legs, but his arms-"

"I swear, you're totally obsessed with them like Emma is with his butt! What is, like, with you two weirdos?"

"Shut _up_! He just…he means a lot to me, all right? But this whole thing's not over. You're right, Emma and Sakura both mean a lot to him as well. I'm guessing Alfonso likes him a lot as well. It's only been three months, right?"

"True. Honestly, I'm happy with either of you winning, but I just hope neither of you will be upset. But again, judging from your expression…"

"Am I interrupting something?" Alfred peeked in from the corner of the door, his smile like the sun. Hero was in his arms, yapping away like there was no tomorrow.

"Oh, of course not. Me and Arthur were, like, finishing up," Leon said smoothly, pushing him closer to the exit. "Have a nice night, both of you."

Hero scampered out of his arms, choosing to stay close to his owner, and he extended his arm to Arthur, who seemed content to take it.

Leon watched them go, a knowing look in his brown eyes.

 _Of course, they're both smitten with each other-who knew that I would turn into such a love expert?_

Consuming himself with his own thoughts for a moment, it wasn't until a noise came from outside that he got up.

* * *

"You're blushing again," Alfred chuckled.

They had stopped outside Arthur's room after a mess of trick or treating and pranking each other (which the sandy blond won by a mile). Anna was strangely nowhere to be seen, but knowing his crafty maid she obviously expected something like this.

"Leon's been teasing me again," he said, but carefully avoided that blue gaze.

"I'm not sure whether to tease him or thank him," Alfred murmured in response, running his thumbs over Arthur's warm cheeks. He grew redder in response, but didn't make any move to stop him.

"Just because we've confessed to each other it doesn't mean that you can act all mushy with me. N-not like I like it or anything-"

The prince laughed-it was a low, breathy one instead of the high pitched one that it usually was.

"Don't ever change, princess. Don't try to act different to impress me. What you are is perfect enough!"

"Don't say things like that, idiot!" he blushed, overcome by his words. "If only you could speak like this all the time!"

"Ah, but it wouldn't make it special, wouldn't it?"

"…well, that is true," he said slowly, and the slightly taller blond laughed again, leaning in so close that their noses brushed against each other.

"Lemme kiss you," he mumbled. Arthur tilted his head in surprise, and decided to take the move by slowly pressing his lips to his. He felt Alfred fumble before pulling him close, and his eyelashes fluttered closed.

"I'll keep on surprising you, love," he smiled, and he was sure that the other teen could feel the vibration of his chest as he laughed.

"If all of the surprises are like this, I'd love to see more." came the response, and he quickly spun Arthur around, digging his fingers into his hair before they met again.

When they broke apart, breathless, Arthur clung to him for a moment more, feeling his hand reluctantly detangle from his hair.

"I should be going," he groaned, "prince duties call. I probably have to make the last rounds before I get to sleep."

"I'll be thinking of you." Arthur admitted, looking to the side.

"You're not leaving my thoughts any time soon, princess," he grinned sheepishly, and escorted him inside his room, preparing to close the door.

"Goodnight, Alfred," he whispered, giving his hand another squeeze before letting go.

"Goodnight, Arthur."

* * *

When Anna did come back, she came with a small human being that was tugging at her dress happily.

"Artie! Miss Anna said I could stay with you two tonight!"

"Is it all right? I mean, he was pretty persisten-Sir Arthur?"

Arthur, who had been staring dazedly out the window, gave a jolt in recognition.

"Oh, Anna! Sorry, I was a little distracted. If we have any space, I won't be annoyed…"

"It sounds like you've had a good night, sir." she laughed, ruffling Dylan's reddish hair before he ran off, exploring the room.

"I suppose," he shrugged, not wanting to spoil his maid's fun for once.

"This little one's been running around the palace for a while. The rest of your siblings have gone to sleep, I think-but this one's been refusing to admit he's tuckered out."

"I just hope he didn't stuff himself with pudding."

"Got a sweet tooth, huh? I know that feeling."

They quietly conversed for a little longer, but when a tuckered Dylan mumbled to go to sleep, they decided to do the same.

The sight of the night sky sprinkled with stars and his little brother's warmth against his back combined with the dazed, fuzzy feeling that only came with spending time with Alfred made him drowsy faster than he had ever been. Shifting around once more, watching the dim light from outside the curtains, he murmured a goodnight to Dylan, then nodded off.

* * *

The next morning, he woke up to a strange sight.

Anna's usual expression with a hint of sass was gone, just to be replaced with a face full of concern and worry. Dylan, who had been awoken by his movement, clutched onto his side. Arthur drowsily shook him off, patting his bedhead before turning to his maid, who held a garment bag in her hands.

 _Wait…is that a new suit?_

"Good morning, Anna," he said, "Is there something wrong? Has something happened?"

"There's a piece of important business you have to attend. Dylan, dear, you have to go back to Erin and Allistor right away.

"B-but I want to stay with Artie!" the eight year old insisted, but Arthur bent down and gave his younger brother a big hug.

"Look, I'll be fine. Go tell everyone that I'm fine, and that I'll probably be joining them later." he smiled, before Dylan nodded slowly and made his way to their siblings' room.

Once he was gone, Arthur directed his attention back to Anna.

"Is it all right if you tell me now?" he asked, but she shook her head.

"Sir, the orders are from…quite a bit higher up. I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait. I myself haven't been told much…but I'll fetch you some food while you change." And with that she quickly left, and Arthur was left alone with the garment bag.

Carefully slipping off the plastic and pushing it to one side, he noticed that the folds of his collar were a lot more stiff than usual. The entire suit was simple…and jet black.

His eyes widened as he took on the meaning of the outfit, but slowly slipped it on, feeling the dread and fear grow as he sat on his bed waiting for Anna to come back with food, fiddling with his black tie.

He jumped at the sound of the door opening, but it was only Anna coming back with a small basket full of breads. He picked at a croissant, and it only took one of those to know that his appetite was completely non-existent. He offered it to his maid, who shook her head as well.

"I'm not awfully hungry today as well," she sighed.

"Anna…I'm scared," he quietly admitted, and she fixed him with a steady gaze.

"I know you're not a pansy," she said, "and I know you're brave after what happened during the Joker attack. You've got to act like a gentleman now, because you are one. Okay, I used to do this all time with my siblings, but do you want a hug?"

Arthur nodded slowly, and gave her a tentative hug in response.

But it barely did anything to stop the pounding in his heart.

* * *

The palace was bustling with activity as Arthur made his way downstairs, but he could see the Jack and the rest of the Chosen milling about in a small cluster.

"Arthur, you're here," Emma exclaimed, pulling him into a hug. He would have usually awkwardly accepted it, but today he found himself almost grateful for the gesture. Especially judging from his friend's expression, she was too.

"We've got the seventh," a guard called. "Lead on, Your Highness."

Yao acknowledged this with a curt nod of his head, but Arthur was hurriedly doing a quick head count of the rest of the Elite. Marianne and Avie were both worrying at parts of their hair, Emma and Sakura were whispering in harried tones, and Avie was rubbing her eyes. Where was-

-oh. Alfonso was here, looking fast asleep.

 _Leon isn't here._

The first thought that popped into his head that his best friend had been sent home, but then again, Leon would have definitely come to see him to say goodbye for the last time. And if not him, he would have at least done so to the rest of their small friendship group. And judging from Emma's worrying face, he hadn't been to see her as well.

Turning around to ask Sakura, he caught a gaze of Leon's older brother.

He was whispering tightly into a phone, but what really scared him was his facial expression. Tight and strained, he looked like he had either seen a ghost or aged a thousand years in the small space of a night.

 _Wait…if Leon isn't here, and he's gone home, why is Austen still in the palace?_

The blonde simply couldn't draw a line between all these bits of information, from the somber mood to Leon's obvious absence.

The Jack even lacked his usual papers, and seemed wearier as he led the rest of the Chosen to a broad platform flecked with light.

* * *

A crowd was gathered in front of it, and when the seven of them walked in front of it, cheers and calls rang out across the audience. Cameras were positioned near the side, and a small team of cameramen were handling them. Arthur had gotten used to the sight, and simply paid them no mind. However, from his position, he knew that he should be should be waving and acting up like a crowd pleaser, like Alfonso who was smiling and waving slowly. At that moment, though, he was preoccupied with looking for his family.

He knew they were here somewhere-but that didn't do any good for his predicament.

He would have just brushed the whole thing off as just an orchestrated event that were frequently becoming regulated occurrences in the Deciding program-except when he spotted that mop of red hair quicker than he'd expected. Erin had Dylan perched on her shoulders, and the little tyke looked happy enough. Christian seemed to be in a considerable mood, but nonetheless he was talking urgently with Allistor, a sober expression on both of their faces. And that only served to make Arthur's stomach turn in worry.

He tried to appreciate the flowers and good wishes and things that the well-wishers were tossing to him, even managing to lift a smile when a small girl waved to him excitedly past a barrier. But two odd shapes caught his eye as he sat down next to Alfonso and Emma, who seemed uneasy as well.

They looked like that they were made out of wood-nothing that special to the normal eye-but the A shape of the first contraption and the large, rectangular shape of them other slightly unnerved him.

 _Not to mention the metal cuffs on either side of those structures…what are those doing there?_

Another roar came from the crowd, and Arthur directed his confused gaze to the corner of the stage-the Jack was briskly walking out, his head lifted high. Prince Alfred and Matthew quickly followed behind him, strangely somber expressions on their faces. As they settled down, Arthur tried to catch Alfred's gaze, the cheerful expression that would reassure him, but it simply wasn't there.

The cheering went on for a little while, then sharply turned into cries of disdain as two figures staggered out into the open.

And when he caught sight of their face, his world shattered.

* * *

 **i'm sorry. but i've actually thought of this since i wrote the fifth draft.**

there might be some of you who know what's coming next because you've read the books _ **, can i please ask you to not spoil anything directly in your reviews? threatening me is fine though. i deserve it**_

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	29. Twisted Every Way

short chapter. sorry for the wait.

 **emphasis on the T rating for descriptions of torture.**

 _i don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively._

* * *

The guards were walking ahead of them, their expressions stoic, but Officer Steillson-no, Emil's face,of utter and complete pain was seared into his mind. Strangely enough, he was stalling, but threw gazes behind him.

Just as if he was trying to catch sight of someone in particular.

A loud shout came from the other corner of the crowd, but the sandy blond barely registered it when he saw the other person emerging right behind him.

Leon, his sparkly red dress torn and tattered, was slowly walking forward, his gaze pained.

 _No. No, no-_

They were both roughly shoved in front of the strange contraptions, a man with a mask that was covering his face standing behind them.

The crowd gave a loud cheer, and Arthur's heart dropped into his stomach.

 _What in Duchess's name are they cheering for?_

Leon was struggling valiantly against his guards, writing and shaking, but his gaze was firmly fixed on Emil, whose eyes were downcast and his body slumped with defeat.

He seemed like he was trying to call out to him, but the guard next to him fastened his wrists, palms up against the metal cuffs of the wood slab and backed away quickly. It was almost as if he wanted to get away from the scene as fast as possible.

And honestly, Arthur couldn't blame him.

The silver haired guard, however, was pulled roughly to the A shaped contraption, fastening his hands and legs to a specific branch per limb. It already looked uncomfortable from where he was looking, and Arthur couldn't imagine the discomfort he was experiencing.

A man now began speaking, the crowd well and truly subdued. Emma's face was brimming over with terror and emotion as she screamed out for Leon, her eyes glazing over. Sakura gripped her arm and tried to pull her back in response. She resisted for a heartbeat longer before sobbing into her shoulder, the black haired girl gripping onto her for some comfort.

"Emil Steillson," the man shouted, "one of the trusted members of the Royal Guardsmanship, was found committing a treacherous act with one of the Chosen, Sir Leon."

An unknown, strong feeling steeled itself into the pit of Arthur's stomach. He whispered Leon's name under his breath, hoping that somehow it could reach his best friend.

"This is one of the most deceitful acts to ever be performed during such a prized custom such as the Deciding! They both have essentially disrupted such a beloved tradition with their forbidden relationship together. And in turn, Sir Leon has broken his precious vow of loyalty to Prince Alfred!" the statements grew louder and more dramatic with every word, willing the crowd to grow more heated.

And of course they did, their chants growing more intense with each passing sentence.

"This unforgivable crime is punishable by death according to our laws! But in their mercy, Prince Alfred and the Primary Suit have decided to spare them in their mercy! Long live the Monarchy of Spades! Long live Prince Alfred!"

The cries grew more raucous now. If Arthur were still in his right mind, he would have joined the rest of the Elite in their slow applause, with the exception of Emma who stood stark still, her hands tightening into fists.

Having such close seats now made so much more sense-to set an example for the others if they even tried making such a stupid, foolish mistake-but even so, the sick feeling in his body was only amplified by the fact that he could see everything.

Leon was staring desperately at Emil, but he still had that destroyed expression on his face. The brown haired boy, however, shook his head.

"Emil! I promise y-you…it's going to be okay. _We'll_ …be okay,"

"Leon…I'm so sorry. P-Please, forgive me-I love you, I swear." he begged.

It was barely audible over the roar of the crowd, but it was still there.

"And to bring back upon the grief and disgrace that you have brought upon the prince and the monarchy, you will be publicly caned! May your scars eternally remind you of your undeniable sins!"

Arthur's blood turned into ice.

 _What does caning even…mean?_

The answer came in the worst way possible.

* * *

The two guards who had bound Emil and Leon pulled long rods from a steel rack nearby, and each gave them a test swing, the whistling a frightening glimpse of what was the come. The crowd cheered and clamoured for this as much as they had for the Primary Suit.

It didn't take long enough for him to connect the dots.

Emil's already injured back, freshly healed from the rebel attack would be painfully struck, and Leon's vulnerable hands would be beaten to a pulp.

Arthur felt another lurch in his system, and he fought to keep it down.

Alfonso let out a cry of dismay, and Natalya moaned into Marianne's shoulder-Avie let out a scream, and Sakura started to weep.

Emma, however, lunged towards where the Primary Suit were sitting.

"Alfred! Alfred, please, for our sakes, stop it!"

Painfully, Arthur turned his face, desperate not to do anything rash.

Emma gave a determined shout, and called out to Alfred once again.

The pain on his radiant face was too much to bear, and he closed his eyes and swallowed once, as if he were trying to hide his distress. Worry for him pulsed in Arthur's heart for a second.

"One!" came the sudden proclamation, and he whipped around at the worst possible moment to see the cane fall down.

Leon made a pained gasp, and Emil inhaled sharply once but made no noise.

"Alfred, _please_!" Emma cried. "Stop it! Don't do this!"

"Two!"

Leon gave a cry now, and Emil emitted an agonized whimper, like some tortured animal. Arthur didn't know how he managed to not retch. The unknown sensation had grown stronger, and he felt a jolt to his core.

Leon's brother was hunched over in grief, but Emil's adoptive family-

-General Matthias was protecting his partner, who was visibly crying, trying to shield him from the sight. General Oxenstierna had buried his face in his hands, and his husband was visibly shaking.

"Four!" In the pain, he had missed the third stroke. Leon's sobs were becoming more pained, but as he kept on hearing Emil's anguished screams, it was probably not simply because of the searing pain.

He couldn't even imagine the young guard's agony. His back had only recently healed, and judging from the beat up state he was in before, this was nothing short of torture.

"Seven!" came the cry, and the crowd accompanied it with hearty cheers.

" _Emil_!" Leon screamed, as he gave a pained howl, something that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He gave a lurch-

"Let me go! Alfred, _please_!" Emma was thrashing at her guard now.

"L-Leon, please st-stay strong…it'll be over…" the weak whispers were the only thing left of Emil made Arthur realize he could not handle this. He staggered, his vision blurring.

"Leon! Leon!" From his hooded vision, he could see Emma going up to the stage, clumsy in her gown and shoes, running as fast she could.

"Nine!" Emil was already slumped forward, and Leon was sobbing, gasping his name over and over in pain.

Finally, it all blurred together.

Arthur felt something burst inside his chest. It hurt, burning and searing, and for five seconds the world seemed to stop completely, strangely suspended.

Then that moment passed, and the pain grew so great that he crumpled to the ground, feeling his vision blur and twist more.

"Leon…I'm sorry," he heaved, before everything dissolved into black.

* * *

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them.

i'll reply to your reviews next chapter.

...sorry.


	30. Verity

**EDIT: 5/5/2016** edited for spelling mistakes and a whole chunk missing in the fighting scene. 

to everyone who cried last chapter, i'll hand out free hankies. and maybe give everyone a hug. sorry sorry i don't want to die a painful death ಥ_ಥ but i understand if you want to kill me. i wonder how bad you planned my death in your reviews-going to build my coffin now... (_ _|| also 5,000 words! woo

 _angeldemonprankster (thanks for your first time review by the way!)_ , hmm, now you mention it, you **may** be onto something. _hearthorse11 (welcome to the party, sorry for the awful timing DX)_ i thought for a second when i was writing this scene that i was crying. then i realized i actually was... _thisistheearth_ -im gonna give you a box of tissues let's just cry in the corner together, _russia says hello_ i understand if you want to strangle me because i deserve it. and finally _pastaaddict_...well, you'll see.

 _finally, i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for fluff, sad sad sad, imminent death threats by reviewers, flashbacks, lots of crying,_ _i've got the magic, magic, maaagic_ _and amebelg. im so sorry_

* * *

"…is he waking up yet, Yao?"  
"Alfred, do be quiet. I can't hear his pulse just yet, or sense anything-" "Artie? Please, you have to wake up!"  
" _Alfred_. I'm going to ban you from his bedside if you don't be quiet."  
"…sorry, Yao."  
The surface Arthur was lying on was strange and foreign compared to his comfortable bed in his room, and he blinked dizzily, slowly coming to his sights. He seemed to be in the palace infirmary, adorned with soft curtains and metal-framed beds. He felt a small headache come on, and a small choke came from his throat. Alfred's reaction was instantaneous. "Artie!" he gasped, jumping closer and dislodging his chair. "Artie, are you all right?"  
"I…I, of course I am!" he mumbled, and started to stand up but swayed uncertainly on his feet for a moment. Alfred was there in a heartbeat, a mess of warm muscle, and he leaned into his touch, grateful that it was there. "Sir Arthur, you do remember what happened, of course?" the Jack spoke, a carefully neutral expression on his face. "Well, I don't know. It just started to really hurt in my chest for a moment, when the-" he stopped short, then felt his legs weaken again. _Leon…was he all right? Was he alive?_ He didn't realize that he was leaning against Alfred until he felt Yao's hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry about your friend. We…we tried everything we could, but as you know, cameras were all over the palace that night. They aired it before we could stop them."  
"B…but, if you couldn't, who did?"  
The prince and the Jack exchanged a glance, but said nothing. "I wish we could tell you, but…it's a touchy topic."  
"I see…but what _really_ happened there?" he stuttered, feeling the small clench come back. "Leon…is he all right? Did he come through here? Are he and Emil alive? Is-" "We…do you need some time?" "I…would appreciate that," he whispered. The Jack nodded, and slowly started to make his way out of the room. Alfred paused for a second, shooting him a concerned look before slowly walking out of the room, dragging his feet.

* * *

Once he closed the door, he lay on his bed, feeling the tears fall, and realizing that a thousand small moments finally made sense. That small sound in the library when they were talking…Leon must have meant him all along, not Alfred. That day during the Meeting that he had insisted not standing in the shade-Emil must have been there, waiting for him. His reluctance to leave, his confessions about what kind of love he wanted, the whole thing in the safe room…all for Emil. If he had left the palace, he wouldn't hate it just because he couldn't have the prince, it was because he would be separated from him. How fondly they spoke of each other when Emil mentioned him in the Halloween dance...they must have been sneaking around just to see each other. How desperate must both of them have been? How much was Leon prepared to risk for someone that he'd known for a few months? The answer almost wanted to make Arthur believe in love in first sight. Both of them must have been prepared to fight to the death for each other. He could barely comprehend how people could fall in love so sweetly and simply, he and Alfred had been fighting with each other since the first time they had met. He knew what a strong spirit Leon had; he must have loved Emil more than words could express. A small beat, filled with jealousy, rang in his heart. How could they fall in love so confidently, knowing each other so well? He knew Alfred, no doubt, but the number of secrets that they held between each other-he could sense Alfred had things he couldn't tell him-were a minefield between them. One wrong step and they would fall into a wound neither of them could heal. And…he was so scared of that. There seemed to be more mines than safe spots now-with the whole responsibility of being royal, the whole magical aspect, no idea of what had happened to Leon… _Where is he? Is he all right?_

* * *

  
"…Alfred, it's really up to you. Do you want to tell him, or would to be too much of a shock?" the Jack chided gently. They had both come to see him in his hospital bed after he had asked to see both of them. He wasn't sure about the entire thing, but he knew that he wasn't doing himself any favours by shutting himself in with his thoughts. He nodded steadily, and took Arthur's hand in his own, fixing him with one of the most intense expressions on his face he had seen. "Artie….I remember you said something about your magic being one of the best in your holding facility?"  
Bewildered, he nodded, wondering what on earth did that have to do with anything. "I'm not sure what happened last night, but Yao detected a trace of magic that didn't belong to any of us, and then Matthew picked up on it as well after it happened. I…I'm not sure how you did it, but we think you've manipulated time."  
"W-what? Is that even possible? I'm not…and we haven't been taught anything like that in our lessons. Is there something wrong with me?"  
"Of course not!" Alfred said hurriedly, "It's just that it's unexpected for you to have not learned it and already have manipulated time."  
"It's just that time magic is very…temperamental. No doubt you were feeling very strong emotions at that time." Yao explained. "Yes, but how did that affect me? My feelings don't necessarily mean I have the magical potential…"  
"Prince Alfred was correct, you did have one of the highest magic capabilities in your holding facility. That, combined with your emotions at the time, could have possibly been enough to generate enough magical energy to produce a time blip, however short."  
"But how did you detect that? If it was time manipulation, then I think I have been told before that you only can remember."  
"Yes, but if someone has sufficient power to overpower the person who wielded the magic, they can sense it, even if it is only for a moment during the process. Those who have a slightly weaker or equal sense of magic can sense it afterwards."  
"…but, does that mean that my magical potential is equivalent to the Ace?"

"…it would appear so, yes." the Jack hesitated for a moment, but his tone was confident.  
"But because I have this ability,does it mean that I'm a direct threat?"

"Well, it depends. I mean, it's unusual for someone outside the Primary Suit to have such potent magical ability, but as long as it is used responsibly it does not serve as a threat. But that," the Jack sighed, "is up to you alone."

"I'm not planning to wreak havoc on Cards, but…you said that it was controlled by emotions. What kind of emotions is it normally controlled by?"

"It really does differ with each case, but there's a few. It's not controlled by it, but it gives significant power to the one performing the time warp. It's mostly extreme feelings, like significant hatred, fear or affection."

Arthur and Alfred exchanged a glance, he could see a flash of dismay in the golden blond's eyes.

"Like love?" he said quietly.

"Well…yes." Yao said steadily. "Affection, whether it is platonic or romantic. However…the magic induced seems to be more powerful when the affection is of a romantic nature."

Arthur's eyes widened, and he felt his chest lurch.

If he was really that dangerous, wouldn't it be a threat to allow Alfred to love him? If his emotions got too great, and he didn't know how to rein them in…the entire Deciding would be for nothing.

It would be kinder for them to kick him out now.

"Artie? Artie, you've gone really pale, what's wrong?"

"I…please excuse me," he said quickly, and fled down the hallway, feeling the tears choking up.

Whatever he and Alfred did now, it was his fault that they could not be together.

* * *

"Hey, Artie, wait up!" Alfred gasped, sounding a little winded. "Don't just run away like that! You could be hurt, because you're still recovering from what happened."

"What do you mean? Are you going to provide me with medical aid before I leave?"  
"Of course-wait, leaving? Did I even say anything about you leaving?"  
"Well, at the point it is, I could be a _monster_! If I spend more time with you, the more I fall in love with you, the more powerful my magical potential may become! I…I could possibly even have as much as the Ace, and I'm not even part of the Primary Suit! What am I going to do in this situation?" Arthur pleaded, tears brimming in his eyes.

They both stopped, breathless for a second before Alfred hugged him.

He knew at this specific moment there was no need for any grand romantic gesture. Arthur simply needed comfort in that moment, and he wanted to provide it to him.

"It's not fair," Arthur whispered, burrowing his face into his neck. "Why do I have to have this power? I've never even asked for it or received any serious training…"  
"Think of it as a gift. I said, I was gonna help you in whatever you needed. Anyway, I didn't develop time manipulating powers until I was sixteen. You've got them already, and that's super cool!"  
"But…but what if I hurt someone?"  
"You really can't do a lot of damage. I mean, if you do accidentally do a time travel, it only will affect the environment for a small period of time. You'll need lessons specifically on keeping it longer. But let's just try to keep it down, yeah?"  
"Okay," he began slowly, "but the time travel power is enhanced as I go along, right? What happens when they seriously fly out of control?"  
His expression turned serious, then he looked away for a heartbeat.

"Then we're going to have to talk to Yao. I'm sure he won't hurt you, but he'll give you more focused lessons. I promise…I promise I won't let you get hurt. Anyway...he won't do it. He's a good person, I swear. I'll be your hero and protect you from everyone else, if you need it, though."

"I don't need to be protected," Arthur said unhappily. "I just…I just need some time and distance, all right? So much has happened, and I don't think I'm up for this. The thing with Leon-I definitely couldn't do that."

"Arthur, you-"

"If you would allow that to happen, if these things happen all the time, how do you treat traitors? Would you subject them to a public humiliation? Leon was my _best friend_ here, Alfred! If you would willingly hurt him just because he was in love at the wrong time, at the wrong place, what else would you be willing to do!"  
"Artie, sugar," Alfred began. The pet name made Arthur's stomach turn.  
"What is there to explain? You hurt him, fully knowing you'd hurt me! I know I can't handle the crown, if the person who holds it has to be transformed into a person who's become a _tyrant_!"  
A moment passed, then Arthur realized what had just come out of his mouth. Alfred's blue eyes, the pair that had been worried for a moment, had now hardened.

"..."

"Alfred, I…wait, I didn't-" he began, but Alfred took a step away from him, his eyes darkening with anger.

"Don't you dare, Arthur."  
"Alfr-"

" _Don't_. There are things I want to tell you, but you run away from me every time I try to get closer to you. You won't let me close, Arthur, so why should I trust you with everything I have? There are so many things I can deny about you, but your reluctance to let me close is not one of them. Every so often," he laughed bitterly, "I'm not even sure if you love me or not, if you're here for me at all."

"You…if you keep on expecting me to give you my heart, the crown, if you're not ready? Pushing me away, clamming up every time you can't handle something, assuming I'm so many things that I'm not. If you keep on thinking about the version of me that I'm _not_ , then you may as well not want me at all."  
Arthur's eyes widened in surprise, and his mouth opened slowly, but Alfred gave him a look that was half frustration, half upset that made him stop.

"Okay. Okay. We're both miserable, and I seriously can't think straight at this point. Let's just…let's just talk this out later." he paused as if he wanted to touch him, but shook his head and left.

* * *

Once the first tear fell, he found himself sobbing and clutching himself as if he had been retching. Curling up into a small ball, he felt the sounds burst out, a wave of emotion following one after another like waves arriving at a beach over and over again.

What on earth had happened between the Halloween party and now? Leon had gone missing, decimated after his caning, he had somehow managed to work the most dangerous of magic he had ever heard of in Spades, and he and Alfred had blown up.

What did he mean about not having any idea how his life worked? Was Leon alive? Was he murdered to finish the job? How was Emil, and did his back hold up? Surely he couldn't walk as steadily as before. What things could Alfred not tell him? Did he know how unhappy Arthur was at this moment?  
It was as he had dreaded. It had finally blown up in both of their faces, and they had probably dug themselves into an emotional hole so deep that their relationship couldn't possibly recover. Was Alfred just putting on his confident face just to mask his insecurity? Why did he not feel all the time like Arthur loved him? Wasn't it clear from last night that he was devoted as well?

So many questions, definitely no answers in sight.

Arthur would have been so embarrassed if his emotions weren't aflame when Anna came into the room, looking troubled as well.

"Oh, Sir Arthur," she exclaimed briskly, putting down her basket and sitting next to him as she watched him mourn.

"Let's just…take a break, all right? I'll get your things out for a bath."  
"What have I done wrong? We've…we've never fought so bitterly yet, Anna, but he seemed genuinely angry. I don't-I don't know what to do."  
"Every couple has their misadventures," she sighed, patting his leg. "You two go up and down like a rollercoaster. Just a few nights ago you were staring dreamily out into the balcony, and now you're bawling. I honestly don't think I can do much for you two. Both of you just have to sort it out for yourselves. Also…I'm sorry you didn't get to see your siblings go."  
"Are they all right?" he asked, a sting of guilt for not asking after his siblings.

"They're fine. Disturbed by that awful caning, but intact. Dylan, bless the little one, told me to look after you. Gave me this to give to you," she remarked, pulling around in her uniform for a slightly tattered drawing of him, signed in crayon.

The sight almost made him smile.

"He gave me one as well. I'll expect them to write soon, given the circumstances. But for now, I think we all need a break," Anna said wryly, fishing out a crayoned drawing of her and his little brother, smiling wearily. He smiled a little at that, but he felt a little weary to laugh out loud.

"Thank you for your help, Anna. I…I do appreciate it."

"...and one more things, if you're trying to spend time away with the prince…I understand. I'm not going to ask, but I can tell."  
Arthur was grateful for her silence as they both settled down for the night.

* * *

 _If it does decide to repeat itself in this way, then-  
_

* * *

 _"You're crazy! Do you think we could even reach Hearts before they catch us?"_

 _"But it's our only chance! Can't you see? My father is dying fast, and Katya and Natalya wants me to claim the throne instead!" the taller of the two pleaded, dressed in lavish green robes._

 _The figure with raven black hair shifted the books in his arms uncomfortably, his oversized blue sleeves rippling in the breeze that came with the winter solstice._

 _The longest Meeting of the year._

 _"Of course, you're expected to inherit the throne like I am expected to inherit mine. You're only three years younger than her. And you know that Clubs prefers their male monarchs," he said softly, placing the books to one side._

 _"But that's not the most important part-I'm going to have to find someone eventually-that be by a dreadful Deciding or a betrothal! I can't do that, you know-doesn't that even worry you in the least?" he pleaded, his stance desperate._

 _"...well, of course. There's no denying that I would be rather distressed. But I've already finished my scholarship, and there's something else-"_

 _"What? What else, Yao, could possibly make all this," he gestured to the pair of them, "worse?"  
Yao didn't reply, but simply revealed the inside of his wrist. The dimming sunlight caught the design on an intricate Spade, the swirls fanning out._

 _Both platinum blond and black were silent for a moment, before the Prince of Clubs turned away, his eyes tearing up._

 _"N-no, Yao-Yao, this isn't true, you can't even do magic!" he insisted, shaking his head in denial._

 _"Ivan, you don't know that. I can't help this! All of this is Fate's design! Even though the Deciding exists, especially here, that is to mostly appease the public and find someone within that has the potential to wield such magic. Even then, the Fates might decide! But look-I was taught as a scholar. My mother is the current Jack of Spades. I've learned more magic than most Jacks used to in their lifetime, and Spades has the most powerful magical potential out of all the country!"  
"…wait. You're a Jack? Not a Queen?" Ivan's gaze was now slowly lightening up._

 _"The King and Queen of Spades have just had twins, remember? Prince Alfred and Matthew. Either of them will be King, and the other will be Ace. In Spades, the Queen is almost always chosen via the Deciding then confirmed by the Clocks. Besides, they're only ten. How disgusting would it be for me to be wed to a person eight years my junior?" Yao confided, his gaze shifting. "Besides, my mother is still the Jack, and will be until she dies. Nothing changes until then."_

 _"It's not-Yao, you do not want this, yes? I mean-"_

 _"What makes you think that? I'd rather have a life with you, cold and hungry, instead of a lavish life without!" he shot back, a fire rekindling in his eyes._

 _"So why in Duchess's name are you refusing to run away?" Ivan shouted, a hint of rage in his stance._

 _"We'd be dead before sundown! We'd practically be throwing our lives away, and I know I can't bear to see you die! Do you think I care for you so little?" Yao shouted, defensive tears appearing from the corners of his eyes._

 _He was shocked into silence for a while, then he wrapped his thick arms around the lithe body of his lover, patting his back in an awkward yet comforting gesture as the secret Jack cried into his broad chest, shivering all the same._

 _"…if you really don't want to, this is the last Meeting for the year. I guess we must part ways now." the prince sighed, dejected._

 _"Wait. I…you're right, we can't bear this," he said, gripping his arm tightly._

 _"Do you remember the beginning, when we were children, and you'd promised me you'd be mine? We'd never part, if I remember correctly…I'm not going to let you go so easily right now. This isn't what the Fates intended."  
"But it's all or nothing, Yao! This can't be changed, we can't go to each others' Kingdoms. Unless-"_

 _"-I'm not losing you," Yao said firmly, folding his arms._

 _"…and if we have to be together using any means possible…so be it."_

 _And he leaned forward, tipping the very much taller Ivan's chin to meet his with slender fingers._

* * *

Closing his eyes, Yao finished signing the last of the proposals, snapping the cap on his fountain pen.

"Would they just stop blasting me with proposals? I'm not a supernatural being," he muttered, covering a yawn with the back of his hand.

"Your Majesty, would you like anything?" his slightly skittish maid said, fiddling with a piece of her dress.

"It's fine for now. I'm retiring off to bed, please see to the boys before you go off as well."  
"Yes, Your Highness," she bowed quickly. "I've gotten your clothes out for you, see you in the morning."  
Pulling up the silk covers up to his chin, he turned on his side as she turned off the lights and closed the door.

 _Why had that specific memory surfaced now?_

It had been so long, he was no doubt surprised that one had managed to stay in there for so long.

Especially since there had been such forbidden magic that he'd used…

Shutting his eyes tightly and fanning out his hair, he quickly fell into a deep sleep.

There was no time to dwell on the things of the past.

* * *

 _"Ivan? Ivan, answer me!"  
Yao's throat was scorched from crying, days after days of dragging his sick body from the outskirts of Hearts._

 _"Yao…" he rasped, raising his hand weakly to cup his face. Droplets fell upon them, coming thick and fast._

 _"Are you all right? It's only a little further to the dock, we can catch a ferry to the Andantinos from here if you want…we'll be safe-"_

 _"N-no, Yao-Yao, listen to me," he whispered, "You were right from the beginning. This was stupid. Why did I ever think that I would be all right abandoning our duty?"  
"No, Ivan, what are you-"_

 _"I had a crown to return to, and you said yourself that you can detect that your mother is weak. You must go back, for both of us."  
"W-what about you, Ivan? I'm not leaving you out here!" _

_"I…maybe the Fates have bestowed this upon me to punish us. But if you aren't punished, I'm happy…" he smiled softly, his violet eyes drooping underneath his eyelids._

 _"Don't do this! You're-" Yao screamed, shaking his shoulders desperately, but he had already stilled in his lap._

 _"Sunflower? Ivan, answer me!"_

 _Pressing his ear to his chest, he tried to detect any magical aura around him._

 _No pulse, no magic._

 _He was gone._

* * *

He jolted awake, feeling his hands go clammy and his heart pounding quickly in his chest.

His hair was mussed, alerting himself that he had turned and tossed around during the night.

 _No surprise there_ , he thought as he laid back and closed his eyes.

Why that horrifying memory now? It had been so long since he had that flashback anyway. And now with the whole Deciding, the thing that both he and Ivan had feared so badly…

Clenching his jaw in frustration, he got up and threw the blankets over his pillows, being less thorough with his cleaning than usual.

Alfred seemed like he already had multiple choices set out for him, and Yao would always hear snatches of gushing when he was working in his office, but judging from the last few days, he had been troubled.

Perhaps it was to do with Arthur, the sandy blond that he seemed very affectionate towards. That boy was interesting enough, and even though he was a good candidate to be the princess and the queen, he was worried about the magical potential that he had possessed.

At this point in time, Yao, armed with his scholarship and his mother's tutoring, probably had the same capacity, if not more at his age.

But this boy obviously had no connections, no way to learn such complicated magic. He wasn't particularly special in the sense of abrupt magic, due to the multiple cases he'd found when he was scraping around their archives, but this worried him all the same. The way he'd turned time to a halt in the caning so suddenly was the root of the problem, along with the boys' feelings.

And the way the two of them interacted…he knew if Alfred did choose him, both of them would have a long and troublesome journey if that did happen.

But again, judging from the last few days, his final choice might not be as simple as they had both hoped.

Pulling back on his silk gloves and getting ready for the day, he poured water into a small cup of tea and tipped it into his vase full of sunflowers.

 _One more month until the Winter Solstice…how can I talk to you?_

* * *

"Are you sure we won't get caught? I mean, it's pretty late n the night!"  
"Nah, it's fine," Alfred smiled sheepishly, pulling Emma into the room.

"I've missed spending time with you, sneaking around the palace like this," she hummed, leaning against him. "I'm sorry about the whole caning thing as well…I think it's sort of my fault that we didn't spend time."  
"No, no," he interjected, "I actually want to thank you about that. You know…when you called out for me, I felt…relieved. Honestly, if I were you, I would have done the same."  
"The protocol's different for you, right?" she smiled shyly, leaning into him further.

"I wish it wasn't," he sighed wistfully, "Trust me, if I could, I would have been right there up with you."  
Emma laughed, resting her head against his shoulder. Alfred nudged her playfully with his chin, nosing her brown hair fondly.

"I've missed you," she breathed, "I was wondering whether you were even interested in me."  
"Why would you even think that? Em, my dear, you do know how I feel about you, I just need a little more time."

"Just…I know how you feel about Alfonso and Arthur. There's probably more that I don't know about. And honestly, I can't be as confident as I would like to be."

"But we have something of our own," Alfred said gently, taking her hand in his own. "Do you remember all the things we did? You know, like the waffle contest?"

"You had maple syrup dripping down your chin!"  
"Well, _you_ had whipped cream all over your nose!" she laughed, leaning closer.  
"I won," he breathed, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close.

"You did not," she laughed, and leaned in, feeling him run his hands through her hair and pressing his lips tightly against hers.

When they broke apart, they both had rosy cheeks and were laughing, Emma pulling out her green dress and sweeping it out.

"Would it be weird to say that I'm in love with you?"  
"Of course not, my dear," he laughed, "Trust me, I've been wanting for someone to say it that bluntly for a while."  
"Oh? No one's said that to you yet?"  
Alfred grew quiet, and he seemed to be thinking of something else, but he quickly shook it away, squeezing her hand.

 _C-Can you be ANY more clueless? Of course I like you in that way, idiot!_

"Never you mind, my dear. It _is_ getting late, and I'll escort you back to your room, okay? By the way, you look really pretty tonight."

She smiled in return, and then proceeded to yank him out of the empty room, laughing along the way.

* * *

fun fact that rochu scene was the first scene i'd ever written in my now-full notebook. i've been meaning to put it in for a long time

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!

also pls don't show up to my flat at two am wielding pitchforks and swords this story will get cuter i swear ＜(。_。)＞

...ok i lied


	31. Distresser

first of all this chapter is dedicated to my amazing head of arms samuel jackson-im so sorry i'll do a better job next year with your gift so basically she is to thank for this update, send her love soulheart2011

just to clarify, the part concerning russia and china was a flashback, hence why it was in all italics. i'll _italicise_ all scenes like that and letters. so don't worry, he's not dead ＜(。_。)＞

 _angeldemonprankster_ , this is a question alfred will be attempting to answer. blame him. _russia says hello_ , the (pity) party's getting started indeed, and _galacticspoon,_ the party's just started so... _lovexoxoluna,_ well, i hope this'll answer your questions. _thisistheearth_ -i didn't even notice there was a frozen theme there. hoh gosh, but alfred, well... _fuzzywoolsweater,_ i really do think it's up to the two of them. and, uh, i think you might have to hold onto the pitchfork for now...

 _finally, i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for kiku, why-are-they-fighting-again matthew, reconciliation, and sadness and angst and anger and im disconnecting theres so many emotions-_

* * *

Arthur looked up from where he was writing yet another letter to Kiku, hearing the commotion from his room.

They had been avoiding each other for days now, Arthur only occasionally coming to eat dinner in the dining room, requesting to take his dinner in his room. He'd carefully avoided the prince's gaze, trying to fight back the tears every time he walked past with someone else on his arm.

He could hear his low laughter; hear the soft noise of him kissing someone else. It was probably Emma (again). He didn't hold a grudge against her, simply because after all it was how the whole process worked.

But still…

Closing his eyes, he pulled up a fresh piece of paper and began to write to Kiku. He couldn't contact his brother about this unless it escalated quicker than he was prepared to handle, and his friend could possibly understand better than he had.

 _Dear Kiku,_

 _It's been a while since I had to write with you with such urgency. I…it's been a tough few days, at least for me. The other candidates seem to be managing the situation all right, but after what happened to Leon-you do have coverage when you're in Hearts, right? But I'm definitely shaken after what happened. Alfred and I…we're not talking. At all. I don't know what to do at this point, but we've had a huge fight. I'm pretty lost at this point. I would appreciate your help, but…I wonder if you ever fought with Heracles? You don't have to answer me if you don't have to._

 _But how are things going in Hearts? I hope you are well, and I hope that the King and Jack are treating well. You mentioned something about not seeing the Ace very much, but I suppose he's a very busy man as well. The Ace of Spades doesn't have much free time as well._

 _Don't forget little old me when you become Queen!_

 _Best regards, Arthur._

* * *

No doubt Kiku was tense.

They'd eliminated Scarlet two weeks ago, leaving just him, Toris and Sophia to vie for the crown.

He had felt the expectations of the rest of the Hearts public bear down on the trio harshly, with Broadcasts growing more and more to military tactics and duties of a Queen more than anything now. He'd barely managed to keep on his toes anyway, with the Jack and King assigning them more work than ever.

And today he'd received a letter from Arthur, full of worry and sadness and a shaky attempt at making humour. He and the prince obviously had a dramatic falling out, and he was clearly hurt by the caning.

They had gathered into the room, forced to watch the awful event as the Jack sobbed into the King's sleeve and the King had determinedly turned his gaze away. Kiku had leaned forward, capturing their every painful emotion in the worst way possible. If he'd been in Arthur's Deciding and they had found out what he had with Heracles…that could have been him.

Living with such scars could have been more damning than being forced into a war.

Closing his eyes tighter, he clasped his hands together and murmured another incantation, this time for Arthur instead of Hearts or-

Blinking furiously, he got up again, brushing his kimono back down to his ankles and gathering his papers.

Leaving the prayer room and the small statue of a pious child draped in scarlet robes, he did another customary bow before shutting the doors to the dim space.

"Three new couples asking for a child today!" Feliciano sang, a pen tucked between his ear. "Your Highness, what do you think?"  
"Should we go through their records? Surely we can't grant them a blessing before checking?"  
"You _are_ right," the Jack said slowly, "but again, who are we to deny the joy of having a child! We _are_ going to have one ourselves soon, right?"  
The three of the Chosen exchanged glances and tried to ignore the lively exchange between the King and the Jack.

"W-well…if you do want one, of course," came the flustered reply, and the three of them exchanged smiles at how simple and uncomplicated the Jack and King's relationship was. No forbidden romance, no social hierarchy, no feuds, no long distance and no war.

"Oh-is that the time? Very well, can all members of the Elite retire to their rooms for the obligatory check? We'll have dinner straight afterwards," the King said quickly, catching sight of the time, with the Jack waving cheerfully to them before Ludwig offered his arm to Feliciano and they left the room together.

Ever since the field had narrowed to three, it was traditional for the Fates to anoint the mark of the Heart on the candidate that they thought would be most beneficial to the Kingdom. At this point, it wasn't up to the members of the Primary Suit to choose the Queen; it was all up to the Fates now. The embarrassment was palpable as he slowly removed his buttons, his cheeks on fire. Even if he asked his maid to stare firmly at the corner (he did a marvelous job of that), he still felt self-conscious every time the doctors came around and stared at the space between his shoulder blades for any signs of a heart and a red colour…

"Thank you very much, sir," the doctor smiled, handing him his coat which he grabbed and quickly put on. "Unfortunately, there's no sign yet from either of you, so we will see what happens tomorrow, all right?"  
"Yes, sir, thank you," he said. With every passing day, the impatience factor grew a little greater and Kiku was sure that either the three of them were completely relaxed, or on edge and managing to hold it in extremely well.

"Are you ready for dinner, sir? I'll prepare a less constricting outfit for you if you wish," he said cheerfully, and Kiku was thankful for his enthusiasm. He really needed more of that, after all.

"Something simple would be good," he replied, proceeding to the bathroom to change.

 _Dear Arthur,_ _I am sorry to hear that you and the prince have had some issues. I assure you, it will get better with time. You know what they say; a relationship isn't deep enough if you don't fight! Give it some time, I think he's just like you and both of you are trying to take it slow. I don't believe in love at first sight as well, so if you do need some time then it's not a problem. There is a problem with having a romantic oriented Deciding, after all, and so that is why I was more geared towards Hearts before...you know._ _I've been praying for you recently. We have a large shrine-well, I say large but I mean the largest in the kingdom-and I have been going there every day for you, for the kingdom, for this Deciding to be over as soon as possible, and for…well, you know. So may the Fates be with you._ _I should be getting back to the military statistics. The King and Jack have been piling work on us more and more recently. I'll write soon, I promise._ _Good luck with you and the prince. And whether I'll be Queen or not will be decided by the Fates-quickly, I hope._ _Write soon,_ _Kiku._

* * *

After lunch, which Arthur proceeded to go into the Drawing Room and eat there instead of hiding in his room and refusing to catch his eye, he decided to hole out in the library. He'd felt Alfred's gaze on his back as he left, not knowing what emotion that had been behind those blue eyes, and a pang of guilt twisted his throat.

Sighing in frustration, he put down the book, fishing around for a torn piece of paper to stick in as a bookmark.

"Sir Arthur?" A timid voice, quieter than the laughing, loud voice of the boy he thought of more than he should have been doing, came around the corner.

"Prince Matthew?" he replied slowly, and the Ace nodded, pelting into the room.

"I was hoping we'd be somewhere quieter, eh?" he smiled softly, and he nodded in response, placing the book onto a side table.

"Yes…I am quite fond of the library."

They continued to make rather awkward small talk, until the inevitable question came.

"Arthur…we have to talk about my brother."

"…I suppose. What about him?" he ventured cautiously.

"He's…been distracted a lot these two weeks. He definitely hasn't been doing a lot of work, and I think we both know the reason why."

"No, I-well, he's been spending a lot of time with the others these weeks-so I'm guessing he's trying to speed date? Or…or-"

"Arthur," Matthew said gently, touching his hand. "Don't deny yourself. You know he's pining for you."

He bit his lip, taking in the information with a shuddered exhale.

"I…it might seem selfish, but I just didn't know. He-right after the caning, we had a huge fight. I think we both said things that night. That we didn't mean to say."

"Um…if you do want to know, he's been mopey a lot. Over lunch and dinner-didn't you see?"

"No," Arthur said, remembering the half hours he'd spent staring furiously at his plate.

"…well, never mind. He doesn't hog the sink and try to out squirt me with my toothpaste, and Hero's been sticking around him a lot recently. Like, he was allowed to run free for most of the day, but Alfred keeps him on a small leash or carries him around when he's not with any other people. That dog's been pretty appreciative of the attention."

"…does he cry? A-at all?"

"Well…" Matthew fidgeted, pulling at his waistcoat, "He told me not to tell a soul, but I know you're good with secrets. This one night-it was right after the caning and your big fight, I guess-I was starting to feel a little drowsy but then I heard him sniffling into his pillow."

Arthur swallowed, his face falling. He'd never even considered Alfred to be _this_ hurt…

But again, if all the tears he'd tried so hard to fight back meant anything at all, the pining wasn't as one sided as he thought.

"He misses you, Arthur," Matthew said, patting his hand in an attempt to comfort him. "I think both of you have to start talking again, eh? It's not healthy for both of you to be separated just because of your pride."

"The other night…when we were fighting, he confessed to me that he wasn't always sure that I loved him," Arthur began slowly, feeling the words choke up in his throat. "I'm scared that because of that, because of my magic on the night of the caning, of the way that we're so much more different than each other…one more fight and we'll end up hating each other."

"Yes, well…my brother has very powerful magic as well. Some Kings in Spades receive a special power-and Al has superior strength. It's awful when not contained, and the other day he split the table in half. Just because one of his advisors were being exceedingly rude…don't tell them I said that. They're…not the best of people. His emotions mess with his magic as well, of course, and it hasn't been a good week for him."

Arthur covered his mouth in shock.

"If I…what if we fight again? Will something like that happen to the both of us?

"If you two really do…I don't think it'll be on this scale. Anyway, my brother loves you," came the gentle reassurance. "Al just isn't the kind to leave someone after a spat. He just needs some time, that's all. I don't think falling in love within a handful of months is too fast, but I think you two like to take it slow. He…he's also a huge teddy bear, all right? He's the kind of guy who likes love and affection, which is why he definitely won't choose someone for the political advantage or for appearances."

Arthur's eyes softened at this, but Matthew wasn't done.

"You also have to do some work on your part as well. You have to be honest as much as you can in a relationship, and holding back every single one of your emotions won't do anything. So you have to be honest. He's also a stupid romantic, which…he gets all mushy and disgusting and spouts stuff on love at first sight."

"I threatened to knee him," he mumbled, and Matthew laughed, clapping slowly.

"If he still loves you after that, he's definitely someone to fight for. It's an ugly situation when you see your friend and your idiot brother refusing to talk to each other where in reality, the both of you just want to fly into each other's arms and be stupidly affectionate."

"It's not like that!" Arthur's cheeks were starting to heat up. "T-that's not like anything we do in our free time! W-we don't make out, or stare into each other's eyes like some silly romantic film!"

Matthew raised his eyebrows, and nodded slowly.

"Of _course_ , Arthur. But seriously, for Duchess's sake, you two have to get talking to each other. Soon. I'm not used to Al not gushing about you at night."

The sandy blond turned bright red at this.

* * *

Luckily enough, Arthur didn't have to approach the prince himself. He was returning back from dinner when he felt something catch on his wrist, then he was being pulled into a small room.

Alfred's face was strangely exhausted, and he closed the door and pulled Arthur onto the small couch backed tightly against the wall, still gripping onto his wrist.

"Before you start shouting at me, Arthur," he sighed. "Please, hear me out."

"Let's both be honest-we've been unhappy over the past few days. And I'm not expecting you to forgive me so soon," he said, letting go of his wrist. "But…I miss you."

Arthur's eyes widened, and he backed off a little, but stayed where he was.

"What are you talking about? You've been staying with Emma and the others these past few days, not to mention last week! I thought you were upset!"

"I've been following your advice," he said in a low tone, "remember what you said about trying to find someone that wasn't you? I've been trying to do that so much these past few days, and…I don't know if I can do this without you."

He paused at that, noting Alfred's downcast expression and how differently he carried himself compared to the Halloween ball.

"Arthur," he said slowly, and their gazes met for the first time in what seemed like days.

"I still meant what I said that night. Even though I've been spending all my time with the others, I still can't get you out of my head. You…I know you've been trying to avoid me these past few weeks. And of course I've been upset…haven't you, as well?"

He swallowed, thinking about denying the longing, but Matthew's words flitted into his mind.

 _So you have to be honest._

"I…I did," he mumbled, fiddling with a button on his shirt. "Of course I did, Alfred…you haven't left my mind since that awful day."

He let out an exhale of what seemed like relief, and ran a hand through his blond hair.

"I'm sorry, Artie. I'm sorry I lashed out at you like that. I…I understand if you want to leave." he looked so dejected that Arthur had to entwine his fingers with his. It had been one fight, and there was definitely time and space for both of them to make up and continue where they had left off.

"I'm not leaving," he whispered softly, leaning closer to him. "I know we both made a mistake and it's probably going to take a while before everything's back to where we want it to be, but I'm not giving up on you."

"…the others. Is that a huge problem with you? I said I'd make you happy when you were here when I could."

"No," Arthur admitted slowly. "At least, I think the main problem here is that we were avoiding each other. But…I can't say I'm thrilled about them. How are you and Emma doing, by the way?"

Alfred paused, looking at him with a surprised expression.

"I didn't…I thought you would be angry-"

"Alfred, just answer me. Are you and Emma physically at the same point like we are now?"

The prince fell quiet, avoiding his gaze for a few, drawn out moments. Then he turned around, a strange expression on his face.

"Do I have to tell you? It's how it works, after all."

Arthur felt his face sag, but he nodded all the same.

"It's the way this competition works, after all." he felt more resigned than anything, and when Alfred wrapped an arm around him he didn't even try to resist. He'd missed that touch…but somehow knowing that other people had this made it less special than it had before.

It stung, and Arthur couldn't summon up the heart to kiss him back as Alfred nuzzled into his hair, murmuring words that he could barely register. After a while, to his dismay, he felt tears building up in the corners of his eyes.

"Hey, sugar, you okay? Arthur," he whispered, curling his fingers over his face. Arthur tried to resist his warm hands, the soft touch he'd missed for so long, but it only made the tears come faster.

"S-stop," Arthur whispered, but Alfred only pulled him closer, nestling him against his cheek.

"I'm sorry, sugar. I should have known you would be upset. Can you please give me another chance?"

The sandy blond fidgeted, and wanted to push him away, but he could feel Alfred's lips nudging softly against his before he even had the chance to resist.

Feeling the slightly taller teen cup his chin and pull him closer, his heartbeat raced as they kissed again, but it was full of uncertainty. After a few moments, Arthur pushed him away, fear shining in his green eyes.As they broke apart, he could feel the tears flow down his face, and then the rough surface of Alfred's thumb brush across the faint freckles that dotted his cheeks.

" _Please_ ," he breathed, his blue eyes wide and pleading.

 _My brother loves you._

"…I don't want to leave, but I'm scared!" Arthur cried, clinging onto his bomber jacket. "All these other people are so much more special than I am, and I'm honestly nothing to be excited over. What if you string me along, and choose someone else in the end? How will I handle it?"

"What are you talking about? Nothing to be excited over?" Alfred gave him a watery smile. "What's gotten into your mind, princess? Of course you are. I could just go on and on about what's special about you."

"…idiot," he snuffled in response. "You don't have to do that."

"But you're not confident in yourself. Being a hero, I have to do that! I don't know about you, but when someone really gets behind your sharp-tongued, prickly, sarcastic side-which is still super cute by the way!-I don't think you show your softer side to a lot of people, which is why I feel really lucky. I love that you really care, even when you insist that you don't. And when you try to act distant, I'm…relieved that I can see past that. Sometimes. And I've missed this," Alfred said abruptly. "I've missed _you_. You insisting that I'm an idiot, and my constant teasing to go with it."

"…I have as well," Arthur replied. "All those nights when I tried to avoid you in my room, and I heard you and Emma or someone else outside…I didn't know what to do."

"Wait…what exactly did you hear, again?"

"Not much. Just a lot of kissing. And-"

"What? Did you…really hear us?"

"Not just the two of you," came the quiet response. "If I knew better, I'd be able to confidently say that you've been kissing other people behind my back."

Alfred opened his mouth to say something, but everything that Arthur had been bottling up in his chest seemed to explode from his mouth.

"You…you get jealous of the smallest things when it's to do with me, but you're going around with the others like nothing happened! I'm not sure I even understand what you want to do here! You said that I didn't know anything about how your life works, so how could you automatically assume that you know everything about me? That you'd think I'd be _fine_ with you snogging the rest of the castle up? It makes me feel dirty when we touch to know that those lips have been on someone else's!"

"Arthur, I-"

"I'm not even sure I want to _hear_ your pitiful excuses anymore!" Arthur spat, feeling all the anger bubble up behind his throat. All feelings of sadness or desperation were being shoved down by this unquenchable fury.

"I might have been tolerating you kissing someone else and being as physically close with them as you have been with me, but outside my _door_? That's a whole new low, Your Highness! And that's the only thing I've heard! You could be doing _goodness knows what else_ with people who I think of as friends!"

"Art-"

"Maybe you've given up on me already! Going off to flirt with the others when I'm obviously upset about our fight? You sure are having a lot of fun with someone who's been 'upset'!"

"But, A-"

"Oh, so _now_ you're going to grovel now? That's a little too late for that! I…you've been tricking me this whole time, haven't you? W-what kind of wicked game have you been playing this whole time?" Feeling the burst of initial anger die away, it gave away to a sting of defeat.

"I'm _done_ with your sweet words, Your Highness. I can't believe I ever thought you cared!" Arthur spat, raising his arm to slap him, but something made him stop.

Something that wasn't a hand clutching his wrist, something that came from himself, something made his hand stop and his eyes water.

He couldn't do this. After everything that had happened, he couldn't raise a hand to slap the boy that he'd allowed himself to love.

He just couldn't let himself be broken by Alfred again.

"Arthur?" That voice, one that had told him unfulfilled promises and whispers of affection, pierced through his thoughts.

Fear, not hatred, made his hand move.

* * *

Arthur curled up in his bed, feeling the tears leak out onto his pillow. He had been so angry, it had just flown out and last thing he knew, Alfred was clutching his gut and he had this throbbing pain in his fist. How were they supposed to continue now if they fought so bitterly? Slowly crying himself to sleep, it was only right before he drifted off that he felt a warm, large jacket wrapped around his shoulders and a kiss on his forehead.

* * *

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	32. Listen

before you guys get into the new chapter, there are a few things that i want to explain, and multiple plot changes i have in the story.

so you know how swissliech was a thing before? well, i'm sorry to all swissliech shippers, but **swissliech will not feature in this story as a romantic relationship any more**. the reason for this is because i really only did swissliech as a last minute option, and i was not very enthusiastic about the ship because i view their canon tendencies as siblings. therefore, the content i wrote portraying them was lacking in comparison to other ships. if i did try to write them again-which i did yesterday, which is why i am making this change now-i simply wouldn't be doing them justice. however, vash and lili are still _not_ related, but they will not be involved romantically.

okay, point two. due to swissliech not being a couple, i have decided that they **are not** married or any sort of variant. this also means that **peter is no longer their son _,_ which means that he can't be a joker because he doesn't exist yet. **so for now, i have substituted **ukraine/katya** as the joker in peter's place. other than that, though, **nothing has changed about katya's character**. she is still the older sister of ivan, but she still is spades' joker and that naturally involves conflict. however, this **means she cannot be the ace of clubs. so for now, there won't be an ace of clubs.** i'll think about a workaround soon enough.

finally, well, there is still the mystery of peter and his parentage, his role in cards, etc. unfortunately, quite a bit about him will be determined as time goes on. i did mention something about tino and berwald having a child, but whether that is him or not will come to me soon enough. however, if i **do** write a sequel (very very tentatively, i am _considering_ one), i will be sure to involve peter, and tie up the knots i haven't finished up at the end of this story.

from my year's worth of fics that i've read, only a handful have done sequels and only a handful of _those_ have been successfully written and tied up to their readers' satisfaction. i don't want there to be a sequel just for the _sake_ of a sequel, i want it to seem necessary and for my readers to enjoy it. _Cards_ is my first large scale project, and even though it (it being the concept) was derived from another series, i have fleshed it out a lot and it does mean a lot to me and it has been on my mind since...well, it's actually been a year since i uploaded the first chapter of the terribly awful (and weeby if i do say so myself) original. i think my writing has substantially improved since then, but of course there are still so many things I still must improve on. i hope all of you will continue to support me, whether i do a sequel or not. i still have to finish this fic, after all! we have quite a bit to go, and i've got some interesting stuff planned out, huhu.

also...holy _crap_. 15,000 reads, and 201 reviews? never in my wildest dreams did i ever think my fic would get this far. i've written almost 100k now, but i still thought this story would go quietly unnoticed, especially because it's my first fic. but you wonderful readers never fail to amaze me. from the bottom of my heart, **thank you.** here's to 500! (lol, i can dream)

...yanno what, you guys have been slouching through this _monster_ of an A/N. i'll combine review replies next week so i'll try to cover as much as i can!

 _finally,i still don't own hetalia nor the selection (IT'S OVER OH MY GOD). they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for gifts, the whole Elite coming back together, everyone comparing Alfred's fuckboying, and Matthew being so done with both of them._

* * *

It smelled of him.

Every single inch of the bomber jacket was doused in his scent-mingling fragrances overlapping each other as the sleepless nights progressed.

Anna wasn't here. Since he'd fled to his room the other night, he'd begged her to leave him alone. She'd complied with an understanding expression, leaving a small basket of food and chocolates just in case he was hungry when she wasn't around. He knew that he'd grown to depend on her so much, and grown to value her more than most people.

Closing his eyes, he pressed his nose deeper into the furry cuff that was a cushion for his neck. His smell resonated the strongest there, the sweet tang of apples, the earthly smell of the leather, and the muskiness of a forest.

It was hard to hold back the tears then.

The next few days and weeks were difficult. It seemed to Arthur that their relationship was already shattered beyond repair and that he was leaving any day now, but someone clearly didn't feel the same as the small presents started appearing.

They were tiny, almost unnoticeable to the eye if one didn't understand their relationship.

A single blue flower in place of the usual red rose of courtship. A note attached to it, talking about the gardens in the palace.

 _We haven't walked there in a while. I…I would like to see you there again, sometime, someday._

A lone sugar cube, sitting inside an empty teacup when he came back from lessons about conducting magic.

 _Remember that time we went horse riding? I know you like your sweets. You might feed this to the horses in the stables, but I want you to know that this sugar cube reminds me of you._

The tiniest pocket watch he'd ever seen.

 _You know, I think your magic is the only one that really works. I mean, I haven't been able to detect much more, but…Yao came to my room complaining about how much I've been using. I can't help it…_

After he'd been getting these for a week, a pot filled to the brim with blue roses was sitting on the desk after his bath, along with a small envelope.

 _I know you love these. So do I…but honestly, they're not as beautiful as you._

Arthur couldn't bring himself to throw them away.

* * *

In the midst of these small gifts, a larger than expected one came to light after a spontaneous conversation with the rest of the Elite in one of the rare days he spent in the Drawing Room.

"Hey, Alfonso…has Alfred asked to do anything with you this week?" Emma asked mildly, worrying at a strand of her hair.

"No, he hasn't! We've all been expecting he'd be with you!"

"Well, she hasn't won this thing yet, hasn't she?" Marianne snapped. "He hasn't asked me to do anything since last Wednesday," she sighed, "That was five days ago!"

"Same here," Sakura chipped in. "He did ask me on Thursday to go watch a movie with him, but after that…werl, he hasn't said anything."

"…Arthur?" Emma's tone was more sympathetic than questioning, and he wasn't sure how to respond. They had all been sympathetic when he told them about their fight, but he knew if anything it benefitted them.

"You do know the last person he'd ever want to see is me? He won't do, unless he's kicking me out."

"Arthur…all couples fight. There's no way it's that bad-"

"No, it _is_! He…he hates me, I'm sure of it. I couldn't ever face him again."

"It can't be that bad," Emma said slowly. "He just-"

They were cut off by footsteps coming from the left wing, and Arthur tensed, ready to run if it was the prince, but it was just Natalya.

"Um, guys?" She usually didn't come to the Drawing Room much, preferring to keep to her room. "I'd, uh, like to ask you something?"

"What do you need?" they all said, the words jumbling into mishmash as they came out.

"Ugh…okay, fine, has the prince asked any of you guys out in the past week?"

"No," Emma, Alfonso and Sakura chorused. Arthur shook his head despairingly, staring at his knees.

"That's odd. Do you think he's not taking us on that many dates for a particular reason?"

"Maybe he's going to kick us out in the masses. I mean, Arthur and I haven't had a date with Alfred for a long while, for example… " Avie trailed off.

"Do you think _he's_ going?" Marianne's eyes glittered, "Or you? Maybe he wants to hold on to all of us so that his final choice won't be too surprising."

"Shut up," Avie snapped, "For all we know, you could be going home tomorrow.

"And anyway, if it's not you, it's obvious that Arthur's not his _favourite_ anymore. When was the last time you saw them together? Not since Leon's caning, that's for sure."

"You're lying!" Emma snapped. Whipping around to face Arthur, she fixated him with a fierce expression. "He has been to see you, right?"

The sandy blond didn't say anything.

 _I'm done with your sweet words, Your Highness. I can't believe I ever thought you cared!_

Her expression had changed to a concerned one. "Arthur? He…he definitely has, right? The both of you still care about each other-right?"

 _I'm not even sure if you love me or not._

"I…I…"

"He's leaving by the end of this week," Marianne sneered, "Just look at his face! The prince must have set his sights on a more attractive girl instead."

"…he has been spending more time with Emma recently," Natalya chipped in.

Emma stood up, her hand not leaving Arthur's shoulder. Marianne sputtered at this, but she stood her ground.

"So what? Is it bad that I love him?"

"Of course not," the platinum blonde said quickly. "I just think…if he _is_ going to end this Deciding anytime soon, it's pretty much going to be you. Last week we were talking and he said something about trying to prove to someone that he still loved them. Alfred almost certainly meant you, Ems."

"How do _you_ know that?"

"I don't," Natalya confessed. "I'm not even sure if he's still interested me. We've kissed, sure, but I don't really know."

"Well, he's kissed me loads of times," Marianne boasted, jutting out her chin.

"Twice. I didn't want to let him overstep our boundaries when we were both not ready," Alfonso said steadily. "But we enjoyed them."

"I don't keep count. What's the point? The point is that we wanted the kisses. They weren't forced or planned. They just happened. And I guess we wanted it like that." Emma shrugged, a dreamy expression on her face.

"Three times. I made it clear that I would tell him when I wanted more."

"He…he has not kissed me yet," Sakura stammered. "But he tord me he wourd if I ret him."

"Wait, really?"

"W-well, it is not too proper for unmarried coupres to do it rike this, according to my family…"

"I simply don't care how many kisses we've shared. But he has kissed me."

Six pairs of eyes turned to Arthur.

"Come on, Arthur, it's your turn! How many times have you two…you know?"

"D-does it really matter?" He was staring hard at the floor now, blinking furiously. "Marianne's right. I'll be leaving any day now. He obviously cares so much more about all of you than he does for me. Now…now, I don't-" he trembled for a second, then ran out of the room.

"Arthur!" Alfonso shouted, running after him, but Avie pulled on his jacket with a sad expression.

"He…he obviously needs to be left alone now. I think he'd appreciate you giving him some space."

"But…but, he was so upset," he trailed off, remembering the anguish in his expression.

"Things happen." she said quietly. "And I think they need some sorting out to do."

They didn't notice the boy with blond hair standing outside the room that followed Arthur's fleeing figure with dismayed blue eyes.

* * *

"Matthew?"

The younger twin was finishing up his review of the palace's monthly budget before his more obnoxious twin knocked.

 _Knocked._

Alfred never, ever knocked, preferring to hurl into the room and dislodging poor Kuma from his sleep.

"Ahem, uh, come in," he said, his polar bear tumbling over to his legs.

"Can we…talk for a bit? I sort of need another opinion on some stuff."

He surveyed his brother's stance-he looked more subdued than he had before he'd gone to talk to Arthur. By the looks of things, that definitely didn't go well at all.

"I suppose. Do you want to take a seat…?"

"More proposals? They're asking to cut down funds on the Deciding, right?" Alfred commented as he slunk into a chair.

"I guess they want it to end soon," Matthew sighed, "Papa's one took around three to four months. Didn't take him too long, eh?"

"Well, Pops has definitely got it easy compared to me."

"What's happened now? I thought you were getting closer with Emma and Alfonso."

"I _am_ ," Alfred said, "But…you know what I want to do next."

Matthew fidgeted uncomfortably. "Are you sure he'll forgive you?"

"He…I thought he would understand. But, I get his reasons. I've been forced to date all of them at once, not getting the chance to focus all my attention towards one person at a time."

"It's almost as free as an arranged marriage, but at least you can choose your suitors."

"…have you been in love, Mattie? I mean, you've never told anyone about your love life, but I find it hard to believe."

"Have I ever been in love?" Matthew echoed.

* * *

 _"Come on, Birdie! They won't find us here!"_

 _"Birdie?" I snorted. Birdie, the world's most childish nickname I've ever heard._

 _Was he comparing me to that small yellow bird of his? Well, that would be a waste of his time. I was the future Ace of Spades. I didn't have time for cheeky, upstart Jokers and their pets._

 _"Don't call me that, Beilschmidt," I snapped. For a second, I wondered how he and the Prince of Hearts, his younger brother Ludwig, turned out so different. Gilbert loved picking fights for absolutely no reason, whereas his brother and I cooperated a lot better. He was loud, brash, annoying, and completely crazy._

 _But again, Gilbert was…_

 _He was so different from me, for sure. We were polar opposites, with my shy tendencies and pacifism, whereas he'd yell all the time at Meetings and suggest a 'friendly fight' every time our Jack and the King of Diamonds disagreed._

 _But the way he carried himself, chin up and his tail flicking from side to side, humming some silly tune every time I saw him, the way I felt his gaze bore into the back of my head, the way his eyes glittered every time I bumped into him in the corridors and mumbled out a mess of apologies…_

 _I had to grudgingly admit that I had fallen blindly for these charms._

* * *

"Matt? Matthew, you're spacing out again," Alfred chided, shoving his brother's shoulder.

"Sorry. Was just thinking about something. But honestly, no, I can't say I have been. Nothing's ever come up like that."

"That sucks, huh? Well, I guess I'll help find someone for you after I finish this thing!"

"Go sort out your confusing love life first!" Matthew berated, picking up a pillow from his chair and slinging it at him.

 _Besides, I don't need that. I've found someone already._

"Hey! How am I gonna do that?"

"I'm no love expert," Matthew bit back. "But I think that if you two can't speak or don't want to talk to each other in person, I think a written letter will do fine. Your little gestures seemed to have worked as well." Of course, he didn't have that much experience about gift giving between couples. It was always Gilbert who slammed into his window at a god awful time on a Saturday, some raggedly wrapped package strapped to his back. What a child.

"Hasn't he-"

"Haven't seen any trash there recently. Last time I came into his room the roses were still there."

Alfred let out a long exhale, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "A letter, huh? I mean, it's worth a shot."

"Just tell me if you need help proofreading! Yao's as busy as he is!"

" _Nahahaha_! For sure!" his brother shouted, snatching up a wad of papers and a crumpled envelope before turning back to him.

"See ya, Matt! Oh-by the way, where did you get that necklace? It's super cool!"

Matthew looked down at the iron cross dangling on his neck.

 _"Matthew, this'll protect you when I'm not around," Gilbert said warmly. "If you ever miss me, just hold it tightly in your hand and I'll be there as soon as I can!"_

"There was a nice shop that I went to during the weekend," he bluffed. "Thought this was a nice one, and so I bought it. I didn't want to make Mother's charm rusty, as well."

"Whatever suits your taste, bro!" Alfred's expression had changed into an unreadable one, but it quickly was warded off as he waved goodbye with a cheerful smile.

Sighing in relief, he unlaced the charm from his neck, running it over with his fingers and turning it around in his palms.

There was no denying that encounter was a close one. If Alfred ever found out his forbidden affair with the Joker, they'd both be dead. He knew Gilbert would want to protect him to the best of his ability, but even against an angry Primary Suit, let alone three more, they wouldn't stand a chance. _It would be wise_ , Matthew reflected, _to end this now_.

All these thoughts clouded together in his head, and as he sorted them out one by one, he remembered the ring.

Rummaging in his top shelf for it, the dull gleam of the amethyst made his eyes soften and slip it on, marvelling again at how well it fit on his finger. It wasn't like an official engagement, all large and fancy and ready to be whipped off and replaced by another one months later. It held the words of a promise ring- _I'll be there for you, I won't give up on you, I'll wait for you._

The violet-eyed blond bit his lip, clutching the charm tighter in his palm.

 _Gil? Gil, it's the end of the week. King Francis will let you off, right?_

 _I…We need some help._

* * *

Picking at Kiku's last letter, he put down his pen again and wiped his eyes.

It had been three days since he'd found out Alfred hadn't been spending a lot of time with the others recently. Sure, he usually only took two or three people every week anyway, with one of them usually being himself, but…

He seemed to have halted the process. Maybe he and Emma had a fight? Natalya had mentioned Alfred trying to make it up to somebody, and it was probably her. But again, she always seemed so happy when she talked about him. There was almost no suggestion of a fight between them.

Anna's loud knocking on his door interrupted his thoughts. Opening it for her, he was surprised to see her clutching a tiny envelope in her gloved hands.

"Hey," she said, "Had another bad day today?"

"No," he replied, "I just…I feel like this is over for me. He-I mean, the prince-probably doesn't even care about me anymore. But again, after what happened between us, there's probably a good reason…"

"Don't be like that," Anna said firmly, "All couples fight. But if you two give up on each other, it really is over. Speaking of giving up, I was asked to give you this."

She handed over the envelope, and before Arthur could ask her any more questions she had picked up a basket of laundry and waved her goodbye.

He opened the small note with trembling fingers.

It wasn't an extravagant letter, only containing a few words-but they got the message across.

Quickly saying his greetings to Anna, he took his jacket and left his bedroom, tucking the note into his pocket.

 _Alfred, I…_

* * *

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!

p.s. shoutout to henri jaäkoppi for existing and making me cry, you swendish fiend


	33. Comprehend

_what_ am i doing it's literally 2:24am and i have an essay due tomorrow

so i literally put off proofreading until the last minute so sorry if there are any issues _

 **mailbox:** (i have two batches to read this time, so i'll do this instead haha)

 _pastaaddict,_ it's not exactly mentioned what he wrote, but you'll find out this chapter!

 _russia says hello_ , i swear i've seen that car crushing video before. happy you're liking the angst, muahaha.

 _fuzzywoolsweater_ , there is going to be more gerita soon! and giripan, well...let's just say that i haven't forgotten them.

 _regine_ , actually, i've never dated anyone before, so i'm pretty relieved that scene was written to your satisfaction-and aargh ffnet's editing service has been taking out my 'a's recently. and here, take tissues and a hug ^^

 _thisistheearth_ , i agree with all your points! actually, i thought of arthur not being chosen as a definitive ending in my first draft, so that was a thing. but that was a year ago lol. and you answered that question perfectly for me

 _blue_ (welcome back!) ahhh thank you! my writing style's something that i'm trying to develop, and i'm so happy you enjoy it. thank you for your kind words! honestly, i didn't think i would really get much attention with this story, but i hope that one day one of my stories will inspire someone to create fanart (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*✧

 _saorikazawa and lovexoxoluna,_ as much as i hate to say it honestly if i were arthur i would have punched him as well ＜(。_。)＞

 _tokyoghoul234_ , i just had to slip in some arthur and alfred's jacket. it's one of my favourite things, watch out for it more in the future!

 _hearthorse11,_ taking the words right out of my mouth. i'd like to ask them, personally...

 _guest,_ thanks a lot bro i'm flattered

 _aniver22_ , welcome to the story! thanks a lot :)

sorry for the long a/n (they're getting longer aaaa) it's taken me up to 2:48am to write this, aargh. okay, onto the chapter, my wonderful readers

 _finally,i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for magic, people actually being honest for once, more kingdoms, loveSICK, and mmmm whatcha sayyyyyy and more amebelg because let's be serious-_

* * *

 _Arthur? Arthur, will you listen to me?_

 _Or…is this the end?_

Swallowing tightly, he ran his fingers over the grooves in his clock. _Three, four, five-_

"Alfred?"

His eyes caught his approaching shape, and he jumped to his feet, watching Arthur slowly walk towards him, his gaze sticking to the floor. Something in his heart stirred at the sight, but he kept himself sitting firmly on the bench as he approached.

"Arthur," he said, green eyes and blue locking together.

The shorter boy sat down next to him, and they stayed silent, admiring the view of the gardens in front of them.

After a while, Arthur spoke, turning to him.

"You know, I'm not sure what this meeting really means."

"It really depends on _you_ ," Alfred replied, turning to face him.

"What is that supposed to represent? That I'm supposed to take the reins of this relationship by myself? You can't just throw everything on my shoulders!"

"I didn't say that," Alfred shot back, "But if you want to scream and yell at me, I guess you want to!"

"What do you mean, scream and yell? There's an idiot who doesn't understand what I feel about him, and that's you!" Arthur shouted, his shoulders trembling. "You said I was quick to assume, but what if you are, as well! Why do you think I hate you? Don't you see? I don't hate you, I'm scared! If I give everything to you-I can already see how disposable I am! With everyone else kissing you and going out with you on dates, _what_ am I? I see myself next to them, and I realize that I'm nothing compared to the rest of the Elite! How can I let myself close, when I know that I'm not worth it, that I can't be your princess, your Queen?" His sob was audible as the words broke forth, feeling tears build up at the corner of his eyes.

Alfred was stunned for a second, but quickly broke out of his reverie, stepping closer to the sandy blond.

"Arthur," he whispered softly, wrapping his arms gently around his trembling shape. The shorter boy punched him feebly, but he kept on holding on. "Arthur."

 _I…I…I'm sorry. I can't say it. Not when both of us will run._

He finally stopped fighting his comfort, stopped fighting _him_ , and let himself be consumed by his golden boy, feeling him breathe into his hair.

"You're not perfect, because no one is. Hell, I'm far from it. But I think you do a damn near good job for me. Arthur…you've got to stop doubting yourself so much."

"I...it wouldn't be such an issue if it weren't for choosing the last member of the Primary Suit…"

"What do you mean? We're all flawed, even Yao, and even though I'm pretty amazing, I have my flaws as well!"

"…" he gave Alfred a quizzical look, realizing what he'd just said.

"Don't deny it, darlin', you know it's true."

"S-shut up," Arthur huffed, blushing in embarrassment.

"Yes...but no," Alfred smiled, leaning in closer. Arthur instinctively tensed, but let him come close.

"I've missed this, Arthur. Bickering with you, our playful banter, you in general. And I know I said this before, but…I've changed. I know you want more of my attention, and so I'm going to give it to you. Haven't you heard that the others haven't had dates recently?"

"Natalya did mention something about you trying to make it up to someone, to prove that you still loved them…and I thought it was Emma all along," Arthur breathed, his eyes widening in realization. "T-that was for me?"

"Yes," Alfred said, his face serious. "And even though this process demands that I have to split my attention between the seven of you, I will do whatever I can to make sure that you're satisfied, that we can spend more time with each other, that we can spend time making up these last few weeks by, I don't know. Doing whatever you wish. More horse riding, maybe?"

"Horse riding sounds wonderful, of course…but, there's just one more thing."

"Hmm?"

"I remember you said something about helping me with my magic? It hasn't been acting up recently, but again I've only been in contact with the Jack when we have our classes and Matthew once stopped to talk by, so I'm not being detected. For all I know, I might have bent time on more than fifty occasions now."

The prince was silent for a moment, clearly engrossed in his own thinking, but after a moment, he reached out for a stray red rose on a nearby bush.

"Arthur, I promise that now we're talking again, I'll help you with whatever you need. And I know we both could use some help with our magic-mine's been playing up recently."

 _His emotions mess with his magic as well, and it hasn't been a good week for him._

"W…was it my fault?"

"Yeah, I guess, combined with other things. Again, magic in Cards is mostly influenced by emotions. Unfortunately, there's another deciding factor that's only exclusive to Spades-the physical power of the wielder. I, uh, have super strength, thanks to the position of being the crown prince. Being separated from you didn't have any perks," he admitted, pressing his palm to his forehead, "And that is why we shouldn't do it again."

"I'm sorry," Arthur said a moment later. "I truly am. I should have understood that you had to spend time with the others because it's how this whole bullshit process works, how it's not fair, and how you came clean with Emma. I suppose it's your choice whether to tell the others, so long as…"

"Language, princess," Alfred snickered, "But I promise-if you do want to know anything, I'll tell you to the best of my ability. I understand that the others want to keep score though. I…I could lie about the extent of our relationship, if that makes you happy."

"Of course not," Arthur said, his tone suddenly decisive. "You might not know, but…I feel something for you. Something that I can't exactly describe, but it's there."

They stayed there, the view seeming a lot brighter now they were in each other's embrace.

* * *

After a peaceful silence, Alfred turned to face him, cupping the rose in his hands.

"So, uh, about your time magic," he said, turning to face Arthur. "Okay, we'll start off with a little test, yeah?"

He concentrated, closing his eyes and wrapping his fingers tighter around the bloom. Feeling the string wobble in his mind, he pulled it back, feeling it shrivel and wrinkle in his grasp. He almost lost the trail for a moment, but it wafted back to him and he kept a strong grip onto it until he heard Arthur gasp.

Shaking his head, feeling just the smallest tinge of a headache, he stepped back to observe his work.

The red rose's petals had lost almost all their luster, drooping and wilting, the leaves crinkling.

"…how did you do that?" Arthur whispered, a hint of wonder in his voice, mixed in with a tinge of fear.

"Well, it differs with every person. But what I did there is that I concentrated my time manipulation into that flower, so I manipulated the sense of time for the flower, not my surroundings."

"So what you're saying is that…you can manipulate people's life spans?"

"Well, yes, but no. It really depends who and why they need it to be performed. It's why most monarchs live longer and prosper more than not. All four kingdoms play a part in maintaining every Primary Suit's place, but that's what we do. Now, do you want to try breathing some life back into it?"

"Wait-me? But I have no idea what to-"

"You'll know. I learned to do it by trying to manipulate it for the first time, and everyone does it that way anyway. Just hold the flower gently in your palm, and will yourself to turn back time."

And he did, squeezing his eyes closed. At first there was nothing, but then there was a din of light, and he summoned it closer in his mind, feeling a very small headache that only seemed to grow greater. He felt the rose shift in his hands, but more so Alfred's touch.

He could feel the burn of the prince's gaze on him, and then suddenly his gentle hand around his waist burned, sending a jolt up his spine.

His eyes flew open, and before he realized it the flower burst, the petals blooming and unfurling, the leaves perking up until it looked more vibrantly red than it had before Alfred's spell, simmering with a hint of magic.

He was so shocked that he didn't see the thorns digging into his soft palms.

"Hey, hey, Arthur! Be careful, you're hurting yourself!" Alfred said hurriedly, prising the flower from his hands. He tilted his head in a concerned expression. "Artie, when I looked at you, your magical output surged. You okay?"

"I..." he began, but saw the bloom of scarlet blood appear on his palms. He ducked his head, trying to wipe it from his hands before Alfred saw, but he'd already caught sight of it.

"I'm sorry," he said hurriedly, but the honey blond simply shook his head, and dug into his pockets, producing a roll of plaster. Was he expecting this?

Slowly wrapping it around his injured hand, he lifted the bandaged palm to his mouth, pressing the tips to his lips.

"I…the first time I did it, Yao pulled me back before anything serious happened. I knew that I couldn't do it as quickly, so I bought some bandages just in case. But…I haven't seen such a reaction. What happened?"

Arthur curled his fingers in a defensive move so Alfred touched his knuckles instead, his cheeks scarlet with the action.

"When you looked at me, I could feel it. I'm not sure what happened, but there was like a fire and then next thing I knew there was this-"

"…your emotions. How else could you tell that I was looking at you? Remember what Yao said? Our emotions dictate most of what happens with our magic. Maybe I distracted you, so that's why your magic flared up."

"Well, if that's the case, I should be blaming your feelings," he mumbled, removing his hand.

"I'll make a note not to be anywhere near you next time, okay? But still-that was really cool! Except for the thorns bit, of course. I'll look after you, all right?"

"I don't need looking after," Arthur huffed, "But if you insist!"

And at the end of the night, which Alfred escorted Arthur back to his room, the prince stopped, as if he wanted to do something.

"Something wrong, Alfred?" he asked, tilting his head.

"No, it's just that-" he paused, taking in Arthur's anxious expression.

 _Would it be too early? We've just made up, and I don't want to chase him away again. It would be awful to spend another few weeks away from him if he thinks I'm moving too fast._

"Would it be…too early to ask for a goodnight kiss?"

He felt his chest sag as the sandy blond nodded slowly in reply.

"I'm sorry, Alfred…I just don't feel comfortable yet. But," he continued shyly, "Will this do?"

He felt the soft touch of Arthur's lips against his ear, and his eyes widened in surprise as he moved to his cheek and drew back, laughing behind his hand.

"I hope that's enough," he said softly, before closing the door and whispering a goodnight.

Alfred stood there; feeling completely dazed, before touching his face where his mouth had been.

* * *

As Arthur came in the next morning, everyone else was in the Drawing Room for once, chatting about the past week. Marianne was worrying at her nails and Avie was flicking idly through a book, but Emma and Alfonso were laughing up a storm. Arthur was relieved to find both of them in good spirits.

"Morning," he said in way of introduction. Natalya raised an arched eyebrow in response.

"You seem more cheerful, has something happened?"

"Nothing better than a good night's sleep," he mumbled. She chuckled in response, and seemed to want to say more, but they were interrupted by the timely arrival of the Jack and Ace.

"Um, hi, all of you," the Ace mumbled in way of greeting. The Jack gave him an encouraging stare, and he cleared his throat and began to speak again. "I, uh, have a huge project for all of you! We've just received acceptance letters of the Empress and the President of the Chess Lands and the Andantinos respectively. They're coming to visit Cards-they've already visited Hearts and we've been told that they've delivered a great reception. We're now asking you to do the same…in around two to three weeks. They're currently doing a visit of the Kingdoms, but we felt like alerting you earlier as to give you more time to prepare."

"Wait-we're supposed to organize a reception for them in three weeks?"

"Well, yes…but you'll be in teams. The Andantinos have already had their reception, and so they will be arriving a day earlier than the Chess Lands. I'll allocate the group with four people to their reception. The ones with the Chess Lands get another day to make up for their missing person."

"…can we see the groupings, please?"

After a quick shuffling of papers, Natalya, Avie, Marianne and Sakura were grouped together, talking quickly about their reception. Arthur, Alfonso and Emma huddled in a corner, poring over the pack of information they had received.

"So, the Chess Lands are ruled by an elite female court?"

"Let's just see what it says…I'll read it out, if it's fine with you guys?"

"Good idea," Alfonso said, straightening out his shirt. "Go on, Arthur."

"The Empress and a court of fifteen govern the Chess Lands. These women have been trained from birth, and only the Empress inherits her title. The rest of the court have to undergo extensive training before they are considered for the role. All sixteen of the governing body have the right to choose whomever they love however they want to."

"They have a very free kingdom," Emma commented, "I admire that! And an all female court that governs the country? That's brilliant!"

"The current Empress is-in brackets, the equivalent of our terminology-Princess Felicia. Her ruling court is made out of Their Majesties Louise, who is Felicia's first and most important ruling companion, Romana, who is one of two Rooks and the Empress's sister, Julchen, who is the second Rook. Amelia and Alice are the two Knights, Francine and Anya represent the Bishops and Madeline is the most elite of the Pawns. The other seven, however, are the rest of the Pawns."

"That's a lot of names-are they all going to be coming to the reception?"

"Well, let's not make any assumptions," Arthur said, folding a corner of the page and picking up another sheet. "Should we read about their culture? I mean, I suppose it would be a welcoming gesture for them."

"I don't think we have as much information of the Chess Lands as the other team have on the Andantinos," Alfonso worried at a stray piece of skin on his lip. "Because you know, only recently did they reach out to Cards and contact the four kingdoms."

"Wait-what? It says something about them having this sort of empire for a while, but-"

"Emma, please tell me you've paid enough attention in lessons with that tiny brain you possess," Arthur groaned.

"Shut up! I don't have a tiny brain! We're supposed to be doing work, and you insult my _brain_? There's a reason why the Chess Lands are prospering, and it's because women are in charge!"

"Are you really going to-hey, both of you!"

The three of them erupted into argument, and for a long while it wasn't clear whether it was playful or not.

Marianne snickered and shook her head, tittering behind her paper. Natalya grumbled something about them being too loud, and went back to making notes. Avie and Sakura shot each other pointed glances, then started reading again.

"This should get them eliminated easily enough," she snarked, straightening her glasses before the rest of her teammates nodded slowly.

The competition was heating up-and for good reason.

* * *

"Do we really have to sit outside to do our work? I can't see it affecting our productivity if we stay inside. Besides, it's a lot less sunny inside…"

"The sun will do you a world of good for that grumpy mood of yours, Artie!" Emma smiled, highlighting as she spoke.

"Don't call me Artie, it's Arthur!" he grumbled in response, but inched a little closer to her. That nickname was definitely off limits to everyone else.

The Elite were sitting outside the palace for once and planning their reception. It was probably for footage about the Deciding for the Broadcast, but apparently one of the advisors thought that it would be a good day to make them all sit outside and pose. Arthur hated that idea very much, and honestly just wanted to pore over books about the Chess Lands and help plan the reception in the slightly cold library. Now he was forced to squint amidst sunlight and be tempted by the small buffet table under the same tents they used for the Meeting.

Oh, yes, and Emma and half of the earth mooning over Alfred. Bloody brilliant.

"I wonder if he'll take his shirt off? I mean, it's so hot, right? But I bet he's hotter."

Arthur clenched his teeth and tried his best to focus on his book about fashion trends in the Chess Lands, but he was finding it _exceptionally difficult_.

But again, she did have a point. He had felt the strength in his arms as they'd been around his shoulders, so what would it look like if he took off-

Alfred chose to walk past him that precise moment, so he ducked his head and tried to fight his blush, staring furiously at the page again.

"Emma, we're trying to plan. If you could get your mind out of the gutter for a while, it would be great," Arthur said, trying his best to keep his cool.

"For once, Arthur's right," Alfonso laughed, "Sorry, just thinking of the guy's a little more distracting than it is helpful."

"What do you mean, _for once_?" he grumbled, but quirked a smile as they turned to discussing the menu.

"Yeah, that seems to be a good idea, Emma. But I think meringue might be a little heavy for the lighter theme. But you're right about the strawberries, Arthur, I think they specialize a lot in those?"

"I read that their export's six times more than Clubs."

"Sweet. I'll mention that to the cooks, then."

Alfred and Matthew seemed to be discussing something, and when Arthur looked up, they caught his gaze. Matthew offered a smile and Alfred waved at their group.

Emma giggled, and waved back. Alfonso dipped his head in greeting, and Arthur tilted his head.

"Come on…you can't deny he's not attractive, right?"

"I guess."

"I mean, how beautiful would it be for the both of us to be together? I think kids with my hair and his eyes would be the best. Imagine him at the end of the altar waiting for me, though! He'd look amazing in his suit!"

Arthur instantly felt uncomfortable, and exchanged a glance with Alfonso, who shook his head and mouthed 'leave her be'.

Or something like that. He wasn't the best at reading lips.

"How's the clothing coming along?"

"It's good! I'm planning to incorporate some elements of their culture into our outfits-apparently they're very into skirts and flowing garments and things-and so I think that I've gotten something."

"Sweet. Just hoping you're not going to put us into fancy dresses for the occasion…my manliness would be compromised."

"Not saying that at the this point, but why not?"

"Did you even have any in the first place?" Arthur snickered.

"I'll have you know that I'm the manliest of all men! You don't-"

As the friendly bantering continued, Emma seemed to cut away for a second. After the boys had noticed her silence, they followed her gaze to Alfred, who was heading…somewhere.

"I'll, uh, be right back," she said quickly, then practically sprinted over to him.

"…do you think she's been acting more lovesick recently?" Alfonso said after a while as they watched her take the prince's arm.

"I think so. I mean, she's been very distracted ever since he showed up this morning, but who can blame her? She's in love…but I guess she feels more comfortable showing it and telling everyone about it than some of us are."

"That's true. Look, the thing last week, where we compared how far we'd gone with Alfred…it wasn't just you that felt uncomfortable. I don't like how we're pitting each other against ourselves, and how we counted those acts of affection like they were items. Plausible things that someone could hold, someone could count. I don't like measuring love like that. I guess, in some ways, you can't really measure love. It doesn't work like that. But I can say that I do love him. But while we're on that topic…what happened there? If…if you don't mind me asking."

Arthur looked around nervously. He knew he could trust Alfonso with the events of what had happened the past few weeks, but there were others that he didn't want overhearing.

"I'll keep my voice down, but…we had a huge fight. Once we tried to make up, but it only got worse and things went downhill from there…but we did make up. Recently. And I understand how you feel about not taking everything that Alfred does into account, even though I do it myself," he laughed sheepishly, "but I think we all need some time. I have to stop looking at his every action and judge him and our relationship with others."

Alfonso nodded and patted his hand, and was about to speak but both of them heard a laugh from the buffet table.

Not able to resist the temptation to stare, they saw that both Natalya and Avie had joined them now, and they were talking and laughing up a storm as they all grabbed refreshments. Natalya tilted her head bashfully, and Avie made a remark that made the three of them laugh. Emma smiled prettily, bumping her head against his shoulder playfully, but they could tell that she was tensing because of how much attention he was giving to the other two at the same time.

"The competition's gotten fiercer recently, huh?"

"It has gotten fiercer recently," Arthur echoed, watching their tight expressions as they competed for more of the prince's attention.

"I wonder why? Alfred hasn't eliminated anyone for a while, so it's not like there's a threat anytime soon. But again…there is the reception, which is two weeks and a bit away. Something about it tells me that there's going to be something to do with an elimination then. Maybe even two people at the same time?"

"Well, judging from the little bit I knew about the last Deciding, it's not very common when the process gets to the Elite."

"People have been asking for an elimination for a few days now," Alfonso commented. "I guess if the Deciding moves way too slow then that's not appealing to the public. But I think they'd want to spend more time with him, in the end. I guess everyone does, right?"

"Well...of course, but at least for one I don't like putting it out for everyone to see. That, and just because I'm more private than others."

Before they could continue their conversation, a clamour of some sorts erupted to their left. An advisor was talking agitatedly with Matthew, jabbing his finger into his chest. The prince recoiled, brushing him off and clenching his fists. Arthur stood up, tensing in case he had to step in, but a pair of guards interrupted the conversation.

"Your Highness, we've received a message from the sentries around the Inner Circle. There seems to be some wild Joker activity, and they've told us to escort the Elite and the rest of the Suit indoors."

"They'll be staying outside to pose," the advisor said gruffly. "Wonderful day outside, can't see what the problem is here."

"Sir, there's going to be another Joker attack, seeing that they haven't done so for months. More likely than not they've been focusing forces on the Diamonds, and so they'll prepare a sneak attack when they can. I'll tell the Jack and the prince to evacuate immediately," Matthew said firmly.

"Now listen here, sonny, there's absolutely nothing to worry over-"

"Would you like to ask my brother about this?" the prince said icily. "We are putting everyone in unnecessary risk here as we speak. Now, I'll go alert him and then you _will_ follow the procedure of a rebel attack."

As everyone started to wind down and pack up their things, the small gaggle of advisors talked amongst themselves, looking disgruntled. Strangely enough, though, they left with the Jack and princes, insisting that the Elite could take care of themselves and that they didn't need to be coddled further.

They had tidied up their papers and were slowly starting to walk back to the lavish palace when they heard gunshots from outside.

"Does this mean we should be walking faster?" Avie said sarcastically, picking up the pace.

"I would say so! Hurry up!" Marianne snapped, pulling up her skirts as she dashed up the stairs, as a crowd of guards ran past them to the gardens, helping a few stragglers up as a crowd as a crowd of humans, clad in black, came closer.

 _The Joker rebels?_

Arthur turned to follow her and Sakura, who was pulling Alfonso along, but before he could close the doors Avie motioned for him to stop.

"Emma's still out there. Said she snagged her shoe on-"

Before she could finish, a shout of Emma's name alerted the two of them, and they turned back, just to watch her sprint into the surrounding woodland, no doubt overwhelmed for her life.

"Emma! Come back!" Avie shouted, and Arthur called out to her as well, but both of them watched helplessly as she disappeared from view, the yells of the guards drowning them out.

"Do you think the others know? Oh, god, what if she's hurt?"

"We'd better tell the prince before-" she said quickly, but they were stopped by Alfred, slightly out of breath and looking very panicked.

"Did you see her? Was she shot? Is she all right?"

"She went into the surrounding forest-we tried but there were shots. Please, we're sorry we couldn't do anything…"

"I'm not angry, Lady Avie…I'm just concerned for her," Alfred said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Oh, god, I would go after herself if I could, but the advisors won't let me. The Jack's sent out a party, but I can't stop thinking about her. How terrified must she have been when she ran?" He let out a shaky exhale, closing his eyes. "Can you tell the rest of the Elite to go to their rooms for now? I…I need some time," he said, before walking off and leaving them alone in the hallway.

"…he really does love her," Avie said after a moment. "I'd say if anyone were to win the competition within the next week, it would be her."

* * *

sorry if i sound half drunk it's almost 3am lmfao but my definition of drunk is using OTL a lot

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!

if you review i will love you forever and probably reply especially if it's your first time OTL


	34. I Need Time

have you guys been spammed with emails recently? i've been trying to narrow down the chapters and merge them into larger ones so that they can be easier to read, but ffnet's system's made it so that it updates every time i update an old chapter. i'm sorry if you're getting these emails...

mailbox

 _lovexoxoluna-i definitely agree! i'll continue to try to not make arthur a pushover like a few fics i've read. and about it being usuk...we'll see, but there's definitely going to be more scenes wh them in it!_

fuzzywoolsweater-yes, his power's _something i'd really like to explore in this story as well! we'll find out about Emma this chapter, promise ^^_

 _russia says hello-things are getting intense indeed! muahaha_

 _regine-the theme of the mark is featured on all Decidings around Cards, but Hearts rely on it the most to choose their monarch loves the person they choose, if there's no mark they gone. spades is different though, and i've written a scene about it, so no spoilers! and you doubting their relationship...i wanted to accurately portray their romance because they're not the perfect couple and they definitely have gifts and insecurity problems. and t_ _he time manipulation is sort of a spades thing...and you're right, nyotalia (and another group, huhu) are coming up! look forward to that a bit later!_

 _thisistheearth-he is getting some help, thankfully. hopefully it's enough-and someties i think yao's the only one in the kingdom with his right mind lol._

pastaaddict-aahh _the squall before the storm, right?_

 _fragrance (i know it's you lmfao)-sorta overwhelmed more than anything. seems like only yesterday i posted this thing when it was at 20k haha_

 _finally,i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for magic, more conflict?, denial, everyone's favourite ship america x belgium, and natalya._

* * *

Avie wasn't fabricating anything.

He loved her. Almost certainly more than he loved him.

Once they got to the rest of the Elite and a traumatized Sakura to go back to their rooms, Arthur holed up in his room for the rest of the night. He knew it was selfish when he asked for Anna to leave, quickly explaining the situation, but he really needed some space.

Buryinghis head between his knees, he blinked furiously.

He knew he was being selfish, of course, with one of his friends missing and probably hurt or frightened.

And here Arthur was, being filled with petty jealousy.

About how Alfred was hers, how quickly they had glued to each other, how they were more often than not a perfect match and complimented each other more than Arthur could ever match him.

He walked briskly to his table, taking a pen out of its holster and taking out a fresh piece of paper, ready to write to Kiku when-

A loud commotion started outside his balcony, guards coming back into the gardens where the sun had started to set, carrying a young girl with a pale green dress.

 _Emma!_

She was being helped by two of them, as she nearly tripped and then got back to her feet. She seemed to be relatively unharmed, laughing about her mishap and asking about someone. After a few moments, both the guards helped steady her and a shout came from inside the palace.

Slowly opening the doors of his balcony, he leaned outside to watch closer. He thought to wave out to her, make sure Emma knew that he was relieved that she was fine, but someone else seemed to have caught her attention.

Alfred ran out of the palace doors, throwing his hands up and lifting Emma up like she weighed nothing. Spinning her around, they both fell to the ground, laughing up a storm before he started peppering kisses against her blushing face.

Arthur's face fell, and he watched as they collapsed on the floor, lost in each other's embrace. The other guards had excused themselves, making small chat as they walked away, leaving the pair alone in the garden.

They seemed as happy as any couple could be, as Emma twirled her fingers in his honey blond hair and pulled him closer, their noses brushing before they met cleanly, again and again.

He didn't realize the tears falling down his face, or the clench in his chest before it was too late.

The world became suspended again, the way it had been at Leon's caning, and as Arthur held his palm up to his nose in shock, it faded away as quickly as it had came.

Staggering backwards, his eyes now filled with fear and his chest heaving, he caught Alfred's now alert gaze as he slammed the doors and fled back inside his bedroom, biting back tears.

* * *

Green eyes.

He'd seen Arthur's lovely face so many times, up close or lost in a crowd, but never like _this_.

"Alfred? Is everything all right?" Emma asked, feeling him detach from her and look up at the palace.

"Yes, yes, it's nothing, really. Look, I'll get you up to the hospital wing for your ankle, and I have to do some work. I'm so glad you're safe, though, and I wouldn't compromise your safety for anything. That okay with you?"

"Of course " she said, smiling as he helped her up and they both limped to the hospital ward.

"Please look after her well, miss," he said, kissing her hand before running off into the hallways as she waved back.

He could hear the sobbing before he was even close to his room. His expression quickly deflated, and he knocked twice, to no response.

 _A-Arthur, please, open up…I'm so sorry-_

"Darlin'? Please, it's me," he whispered against the door, curling his fist tightly against the smooth wood of it.

There was no response, but he heard the crying grow louder.

"Artie? A-Artie, sugar, please, let me in," he said again, feeling his chest clench tighter and his eyes start to water.

 _It can't end like this, Arthur. I haven't even told you._

He heard the sob closer now, and was about to push the door open when Arthur spoke.

"Don't you dare come in!"

"Arthur, listen to me! I-"

"You said you would do anything to make sure I would be happy! And next thing I know you're devoting all of your attention to her!"

"Arthur, she was lost and running in a forest from a pack of vicious rebels!" Alfred shouted, thumping his fist against the door. "Of course I was worried about her! If that was you, I would be worried out of my soul for you!"

"You wouldn't," came the muted reply. Alfred's eyes widened in reply, and he pushed open the door, feeling Arthur stumble out of the way as he closed it again.

"…what?"

"You wouldn't care if I was gone, because it would mean that you wouldn't have to make a choice between me and Emma!" he burst out, clenching his fists. "And that's why this thing will be over before I know it, and-"

Alfred silenced him by pulling him into an embrace, feeling Arthur's wirier frame tremble against his.

"Arthur. I promised you. I promised that I would keep you to the end. And I know that this whole process is awful, and I wish that it never had made me think on it this hard. But you know that I love her as well. It's how the process works. Please, please, let me explain everything."

"How can I…I'm frightened," he said softly, shaking his head, covering his mouth as he backed off. "How do I know that this isn't some set up to send me home with a softer blow?"

"…why do you doubt my love for you so much?" Alfred's tone was laced with sadness, letting him back away. "Do you think I really care for you that little?"

Arthur swallowed. Of course he knew, with all those excessive romantic gestures and that date a few days earlier, that Halloween night. Watching his expression told him more than what his words could give him.

But the way that all the Elite interacted with him…that made him hesitate to forgive him so easily.

"Do you feel the exact same thing for her as you do for me?" he said slowly, standing his ground.

"No. She…I don't feel the same pulse for her that…that we have. But she is steady, and I can depend on her. But I think that she feels more for me that I feel for her. Not sure about that, but I can't let her go. My advisors have cottoned on to her quickly. But again, as you know…I can't stand them. They practically govern my life, and I hate it. But even then, I do need my queen before I can really stand up to them."

"Then why all the open affection? Out in the courtyard…"

"I swear, I felt like I lost her forever. I was terrified, and when she came back…it was like I really saw what happened if I lost her. She means a lot to me, all right? And when she came back, the relief-I can't describe it. But being faced with the possibility that she was gone, it overwhelmed me. And I don't think I can handle that again."

"…what about me?" Arthur asked after a moment, rubbing his arm in nervousness. "Why is that I'm still here?"

"What I feel for you is different from her. Of course, we have a steady relationship, but as I mentioned, we don't have a huge pull. We don't have the spark, the firework that set off everything for us. But again…our relationship is far from perfect. You know we fight a lot, and…if we keep on holding back, it's not going to work."

"I'm sorry, but it's my instinct to clam up. This…this is my first time falling in love, and I guess I want to protect myself as well. But if I don't let go, you'll fall in with the version of me that I'm comfortable to bare to you, but not my true self. I can't let you feel like I'm perfect, Alfred, I'm far from it, I swear. I just want this to end before we both get hurt, because I don't want to fall in love with your mask, or just your face…I want you as a person-all of it, all your flaws-but now I've lost the chance, haven't I-"

"No, you haven't."

Arthur's eyes whirled from the floor to his face.

"I'm not choosing her just yet. As I said, of course we aren't perfect. We fight a lot, yes, but don't think that I'm going to give up on us just because of that. But…but I need both of us to stop hiding, all right? You have to want this…want _me_ like I do."

"You're right," Arthur said with a tone of finality, approaching him again. "I'm tired of running away from what we are. So," he said, "I understand that you have to date other people, but you have to understand that I won't always be thrilled about it. I know that a lot of people want you to choose Emma, but…go with your heart in the end, all right? I…I won't be as upset."

"Thank you. But, Arthur, stop thinking of yourself as so imperfect. Y-you're like this world, yeah? You're perfect in many ways, but of course you have your flaws. Did you know that magic was an anomaly in Cards until just recently? But that flaw did make me adore you more."

 _And I love you for that, flaws and all. I…I can't tell you that, though. You'll run._

"…but what if I want to leave at any point? Will you let me go?"

Alfred's face fell, but he reached out for Arthur's hand, nodding all the same.

"Of course. Can you…can you please tell me first, though? I'd, uh, really appreciate your heads up so that I…yeah."

Alfred moved closer, awkwardly closing the distance, but before his eyes could have begun to close he could hear Arthur's hushed breath and his soft palms pressing into his chest.

"Alfred. I'm still not ready. Please, give me some time and space before we do this again. I'm sorry."

He quickly stepped back, apologizing before giving his hand another squeeze.

"Goodnight, Alfred." Arthur said softly, holding his gaze for one more moment before he quickly stepped back.

Alfred blinked furiously, fighting the lump in his throat as he closed the door.

"…goodnight, Arthur."

* * *

"Natalya, can I see you for a second? Can we go for a walk?"

Arthur put down his pen, alerted to the sound from a little far away. It was probably coming from Natalya's room, the prince obviously asking to see her.

"Sounds good, Your Highness," she said in a light tone, and he heard the mess of footsteps he had gotten so accustomed to in the early days after Leon's caning. Sure, they had died down after their fragile reconciliation almost a week ago and Arthur was slowly starting to regain trust, but it didn't mean they vanished completely. This was the Deciding, after all. These things had to happen. Slipping on his bathrobe, slightly worn and a little more like a dress than what he usually wore, he crept out into the hallway. He slowly creaked open the door, wincing as he went.

"Is there a specific reason you wanted to see me?"

"No, not really. Just wanted to see you, that's all. Have you noticed that almost everyone's room is in the same floor?"

"Yeah, I guess almost everyone who was on the top floor had a curse," Natalya laughed, and Alfred joined in.

Then suddenly, the atmosphere switched.

"Alfred. I'm sorry to cut the crap short, but that's not the reason why I agreed to go out with you tonight. I have to tell you something."

"…it's about the thing last week, right?"

 _Last week_? Arthur tensed, creeping out a little closer. That would have been the day before the reception planning and Emma's kidnapping.

"Yeah. Look, I'm sorry about that. But you know I was trying."

"I guess. I still didn't think it was okay to snap at Alfonso like that," Alfred said gently, "He obviously doesn't want to start a fight."

"He didn't trust you. And he thought that you _wanted_ to cane Leon. Unless…you did, onto which my duty is to tear your dick off."

"No, of course not. I like my manly parts just fine. But I don't know, is it a weirder tradition in your holding facility?"

"Nothing of that sort, Your Highness. I…I was born in Clubs and moved to Spades when I was a child, remember? Eight years of living there were enough of me seeing the ugliness there."

"…they really were strict upon the same genders getting into a relationship?"

" _Yes_ ," Natalya said, after a moment.

"Then I'm going on Clubs' hate list."

She laughed, patting his shoulder in a friendly gesture before her expression turned solemn.

"Alfred. It's not like I didn't understand what you had to do. I know that you wanted to be up there with Emma, pulling them both off, but I know that whatever you've done with them, they know that you never wanted to do it to them. Your advisors are brutal, trust me. If they couldn't tell you what to do, they'll start using force. Wise up before you get hurt. I know you're not a complete coward, but you have to make decisions that'll keep you safe. It's a game of survival, and if the future King of Spades is hurt for someone that probably won't hold the crown, what good is that to do for the kingdom?"

"…" Alfred seemed overwhelmed, but his expression was intense all the same.

"Sorry. I've just been raised differently in terms of most things. In Clubs, love almost always isn't for _love_. It's for political purposes, for money, it's arranged. But we're not in Clubs. And I know that you love someone," she said softly, "And to be honest, I'm sort of relieved it's not me, because I would be a shitty lover. I could be a good person, but I'm an shitty lover. But if you're doubting their emotions, terrified to declare your love for them just because they haven't said it themselves, it doesn't mean it's not there. If you just give up after one little problem, you'll end up into an unhappy marriage. Trust me when I say this side of Cards is a lot more free than the other side."

"…how could you tell? That I'm in love with…that person?"

"I guess I can sort of sense it," Natalya mused. "Like hell I'm a goddamn love expert, but even I can see the way you look at him-and her. I know you two fought, but…there's still something there. That's the other fucked up part about love-it hits you like a rock and it's never convenient. I know you and Emma have something, yes, and you have something else that's romantic with Sakura and something else with Alfonso, but it's not like what you and Arthur have, for example. Settling for the safe option will only make you half as happy as what someone that makes you go batshit crazy. Don't settle for the one that listens to you and goes out of their way to be on your good side, go for the punk who you can disagree with. Because personally, that's what love is for me."

"Love's punks who disagree with you a lot?" Alfred teased.

"God, don't be a smartass, Your Highness. Again, it differs with people. You could have opposites attract, or you could just be similar. I don't know. For example…" she seemed to stop for a moment, an unreadable expression on her face, but she quickly continued. "You could fall in love with a complete dork. He or she could, I don't know, have glasses and green eyes and have blonde hair and could be one of the most intellectual and stupid people you've ever met. But you still love them, at the end of the day, because they're what you want. So go for it, Your Highness. Don't faff around just because Ems and I are the favourites to win this thing. Now we're-I'm not looking for your hand in a romantic sense, go get him…or her. Stop fucking hesitating."

"Thanks, Nat," he said after a moment, pulling her into a hug. The platinum blonde tensed for a second, then slowly reciprocated it, patting his shoulder in an almost sisterly action. Arthur bit his lip, taking a step back into his room, his bare feet touching the carpeted floor again.

This definitely wasn't how he thought the interaction would end up.

"So…is it okay if I ask why you're still here? You can ask me to eliminate you any time you wish."

"I don't know. Maybe it's because I've spent a lot of time with you, and on the unlikely circumstance Arthur, Emma, Sakura and Alfonso all decide that they're completely done with you, I guess I'll be the better option at that point because I've spent more time with you than Avie and Marianne have. That, and my maid's amazing with his fingers. I mean, the holding facility did have wonderful patrons, but just look," she gestured to her dark blue dress. It started melting into icy blue from the bodice, and even Arthur, who preferred to wear pants to the _one_ dress he wore for a dare, couldn't help but admire the dress's beauty. "I honestly can't believe they're restricted to the palace. Can I take Jamie back with me after I'm gone?"

"Well, if you can convince him to leave, I guess he's fair game. But you really do look pretty in that. Keep on looking like that when you go back to where you're comfortable with, all right?"

She gave him a wan smile and nodded, straightening out her topknot before waving goodbye to him.

After her door closed, though, Arthur slipped back into his room, sinking back into the duvet.

Natalya's words did make sense, and it made him consider so many things that he hadn't even given a second thought about.

Getting into this Deciding was definitely aided by the fact that he was in a Hearts holding facility, but it was still lucky that he got into it. Falling in love with Alfred, however, was fortunate serendipity in itself. He'd come here trying to help Heracles for Kiku's sake, but he'd found so many things as well-Leon, Alfonso (and his tomato loving cousin), strawberry tarts, Anna's sarcasm, blue trench coats, the gardens, the lavish library, Gilbert and Matthew and finally Alfred.

If someone had asked him five months ago about a honey-blond haired prince with the bluest eyes he'd ever saw hidden behind a pair of glasses and a cowlick, he would just brush him off as a royal, nothing special, nothing important. But now?

Alfred made him feel things that he'd never thought he'd really experience, things that he thought only existed in sappy romance novels. He'd pulled down so many of Arthur's walls, made his charms irresistible to him, laughed and joked his way into his heart, made and presented himself in so many ways, positive and negative, that reassured him and made him fall in love further and further each day. Of course, he was scared out of his mind for his chances, he could see how taken he was with the others, but something, _something_ in Arthur's now more brash and stupid mind made him want to stand where he was and not budge.

As Natalya had just said a few moments ago, Arthur should go for it. Go for Alfred's heart and go for the crown-

-if fate allowed it.

* * *

sorry if this chapter's a little short, i've been having some...issues with family, and i'm completely beat up, physically and mentally. i'll try to do my best for you wonderful readers, sorry about everything ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!

also i was drunk last chapter lol oh fu its 11:38pm rn


	35. The Mark

there seems to be an issue with the review system this week, so i'll save the replies until next chapter, because this one's a little short at 2k.

 _finally,i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for hearts, ludwig's 215,236,135 dogs, flashbacks and...well._

* * *

 _in the cooling climate of hearts, an audience are preparing to leave..._

"Thank you so much for the reception, you cutie!"

"It was very nice to meet you as well, Lady Amelia," Kiku smiled politely. He was sure that he was blushing to the roots of his hair at this point.

"Ohy, Amelia! Quit flirting with the Elite! Get a move on, you lazy arse. Oh, and Sir Kiku, I enjoyed myself a great deal. Thank you for allowing me to perform last night."

"It was our pleasure, Lady Alice. You have a great deal of talent with the guitar. Maybe one day you could teach me?"

"I'd love to-oh, please excuse me. I must go now, but thank you again." With an elegant curtsy, she was gone, and Kiku waved in reply.

"Goodbye, hon! We'll come back! Thank you so much!" Amelia yelled, waving frantically as Francine and Alice dragged her back, both of them grouching at her.

"Interesting bunch, are they?" Kiku looked up to see the King and Jack standing near him. He quickly bowed before nodding.

 _At least, not as intimidating as the Andantinos…_

"Princess Felicia was so nice! So was Lady Louise, but I wish she would have been a little louder…she seemed to love your dogs, Lud," Feliciano beamed, patting the King's shoulder. "We must invite them to Hearts next time they are in business!"

"I noticed they were fawning over you a lot, Feli," he said softly. "Is there anything I have to know about?"

"Oh, yes!" the Jack nodded enthusiastically. "I forgot to tell you last night because you and Sophia were looking after his proposed budget plan for our exports, but guess what! You get an early…well, super late birthday present!"

"…you got me Portia this year." he said awkwardly, referring to the newest addition to his dogs, a spaniel.

"Ve, never mind! But, here it is-I'm having a baby!"

The King paused, his face paling. "You…you what?"

"Uh huh! It's yours, of course. I asked the doctors this morning cos you know I wasn't feeling good last night and I vomited so I thought-oh no it's morning sickness-and when you were looking over Toris's budget outline I asked her about what she thought and she did this cool check and then she took me to the prayer room and we did another painful ritual and we went back to the hospital wing and then she told me I was with child!"

"Feli…this is…" The King's usual expression was changing into something that resembled joy. "We…we are going to have a child?"

Kiku saw the tears before they came.

"Mhmm! Are you happy, Luddy?"

"O…of course I am. More than anything else, Feli," Ludwig smiled, and bent down to hug his husband as the brunette cooed in his ear.

Kiku's eyes softened at the sweet sight of the couple, and chose to walk back to his room quietly, giving them the time they needed. He knew Toris would be writing to his-best-friend-now-turned-sweetheart-Feliks that lived in Clubs, and Sophia was probably drunk (the poor girl had been roped into a drinking game with the Bishops and the Pawn.)

Running his fingers over Arthur's scrappy writing again, he pulled out a fresh piece of paper. The last letter had been a lot happier than the last batch, it had seemed that his friend and the crown prince of Spades had gotten their relationship back on track. However, this one was filled with questions-questions about their reception, that Kiku gleefully learned that they had to do themselves-questions about the intense magic lessons he'd been receiving, questions about the mark among other things.

"Sir? It's getting late now, and you've had a wonderful day, but we really must be going on with the check. The others have performed it, but you looked like you had enough on your mind." his maid said quietly, knocking on his door.

He nodded in response, already shirking his jacket and folding Arthur's letter back inside its envelope.

Unfortunately, Arthur would have to wait.

* * *

"They should choose the new Queen soon, right?"

Kiku squinted at the source of the sounds in the prayer room. The three of them, including the King, Jack and grumpy Ace had been there since early morning as part of their routine.

"The new Meeting's soon. The Winter Solstice is in two weeks, and if we don't have a new Queen by then, we'll lose farce."

"Maybe the Fates don't honestly care?"

"Lovino! Don't say that in front of Her! Of course they do care, but they do need some time!"

"I'm not in the room, you stupid bastard," the Ace grumbled, but folded his arms and kept quiet.

"They always choose the Queen before the Solstice. It's only two weeks longer to wait, Feli, and if that does not happen, we may provide a distraction when we announce the baby."

Feliciano nodded vigorously, the bell on his hat jingling as he bounced on the spot, but that comment had caught someone else's attention.

"W-what?! You knocked up my little brother? You potato _bastard_ , you-"

"Lovi- _no_! Not in front of them!" the Jack wailed, yanking on his arm.

The King promptly threw both of them over his shoulders and marched out of the room.

The rest of the Elite watched them go, and shared a laugh, shaking their heads.

"I wonder what happens with the King and the Ace? They definitely don't seem to like each other," Sophia lamented.

"Hmm, maybe it is just a bad case of an overprotective sibling. Are all families not like that?"

"True. But again…I do want this whole thing to be over. It doesn't really matter to me whether I win or not. I have a life to go back to after this." Toris said softly, casting his gaze to the statue of the child. "If the Fates choose me, I'll just help govern Hearts and have Feliks with me. The only difference is a country, right? You all have others, yes?"

"…well, I suppose." Sophia began slowly. "She lives on the outskirts of Clubs, though, with her grandfather in a cottage in the mountains. I saw her for the last time six months ago. You know, there were a few country boys that tried to court her the last month I was going to leave. I sent them packing!"

They all laughed, Sophia looking especially prideful.

"Do you have a sweetheart, Kiku?" they both asked, turning to the raven haired boy.

"Do I have…?" he echoed, looking into a space that seemed far beyond either of their reaches.

* * *

 _"Come on, boys! You're not a load of pansies, pick up the pace!"_

 _Hearing the guards outside whinge and complain about having to do yet another patrol outside the palace grounds made me want to close my eyes and run away. I was bombarded with constant reminders that he was away, somewhere else, far, far away from safety._

 _The last one was dated a month ago-they had moved to a new area where post couldn't get through heavy fire. I had continued writing them anyway, telling him that even if he couldn't receive mail from me as soon as he could, when they relocated to a safer trench he'd be able to get my barrage of letters._

 _Doodling a small caricature of a cat, I signed the letter and folded it in an envelope. Reaching into my pot of dried flowers, I sprinkled some in, hoping the smell would comfort him somehow._

 _If I could ask for some comfort, it would only come in the form of the Deciding ending, or the event where he came back to me._

 _Was that such a difficult thing to ask for? A wretched mark between my shoulder blades or someone else's, his soft eyes meeting mine._

* * *

"Kiku? Kiku, are you all right?"

The world came back into his focus, and he nodded slowly, running a hand through his bangs.

"Yes…I am sorry, I was thinking of something else at that moment. We should get back to praying, yes?"

Toris and Sophia exchanged concerned looks, but didn't question him further.

However, that night during the obligatory check for the Hearts mark, they found something.

A splash of red, in stark contrast to his chalky skin.

He was immediately hauled to the throne room while clutching a shirt to his bare chest, where all of the Primary Suit were, sitting on their thrones.

"Your Majesty, I believe we have a lead," said the doctor, addressing the King of Hearts. Kiku's maid turned him around, exposing the mark of colour on his back.

He shivered as the cold hand of the King ran between his shoulder blades, and he could feel the Jack and Ace's stares bore into his skin. Seconds flew by, and Kiku swore he could hear his heart pounding.

Then his maid pulled him to his feet and quickly curtsied to him, and everyone else followed suit, words overlapping each other.

"Long live the Kingdom of Hearts!"

"Your…Your Majesties?" he stammered, holding the shirt awkwardly.

Ludwig fixed him with a cool blue stare, Feliciano and Lovino rising to join him.

"…we have found the Queen of Hearts, _Your Highness_."

 _Queen of Hearts_.

The words took a while for him to process.

At that point, however, he was desperate to put his shirt back on. A bare chest was nothing but improper at that point, especially for a royal.

"B…but, Your Highnesses, the mark is not in a shape of a heart yet. It is only a spot of colour. And are-are you sure that I have not faked the colour?"

The king gave him a level stare, before beckoning for a maid. He said a few words into her ear and she dashed off, never breaking eye contact with Kiku.

"The mark does not instantly appear on your skin, Kiku." _No 'sir' in front of my name. Are things already changing for me in his eyes?_ "It takes days, weeks, even months for it to develop. It took Feliciano three weeks after the Deciding," he said, gesturing towards the Jack, "and Lovino followed a month after, when he was appointed the Ace. The only reason I got mine shortly after I was born was because I was a royal. And all marks start off with a splash of red. Finally, after five months, I must say that I trust your judgement."

"I…I see, thank you. But just to be sure that it was not some accidental dye mishap, is there anyway to confirm that it is not anything of that sort?" Kiku stammered, not wanting to seem rude.

"If you want to be thorough, Kiku. Ah, here comes Julianna. Please remove your shirt again."

The black haired boy winced at the thought of being bare again, but quickly did it and crouched on the cold tiles of the throne room. He shut his eyes tightly as the pleasantly warm water soaking the towel pressed into his back and rubbed and rubbed, until the skin surrounding the mess of colour had turned pink with strain.

"There seems to be no change, my King. It is truly the beginnings of the Queen's birthmark."

"…so, does this mean that he is to be the Queen of Hearts?" The Ace ventured after an awkward silence, for once not sounding aggravated.

Another moment passed as the council of people gathering around the throne room slowly conferred between them, while Kiku desperately wondered when he was allowed to _put the damn shirt on already_.

All of a sudden, the Jack leapt off his throne, engulfing him in a hug.

"Congratulations, Kiku! You totally deserve it, ve! Let's celebrate!"

This seemed to jolt the rest of the people from a stupor, and they surrounded the new monarch with applause and congratulations.

"Will I be able to tell Toris and Sophia about this?" Kiku shouted over the din, worried about his friends, the last of the Elite.

"Too late, Kiku! We're already here!" He could see a head of brown hair and a purple streak, and he got up to embrace the both of them. Sophia had tears in her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away and assured them that she was crying out of happiness for him.

"I knew it was going to be you, Kiku! You're the best for the job," she sang. "It's an honour to know the future Queen of Hearts."

"Congratulations, Kiku. I'm elated for you," Toris laughed. "You okay? This job comes with so many things that I'm sure I can't handle, but you have my utmost confidence that you can handle them."

"Toris, Sophia…" he said slowly, looking at their ecstatic faces. A rush of memories flooded through his mind-the first time he met Toris with Feliks, the first time he heard Sophia play the piano with Scarlet. The water balloon tournament, doggy sitting for Berlitz, Blackie, Aster and Portia, planning for the reception and finally this.

"If the rest of the Primary Suit will allow you, can both of you come onto the advisorship and help me run Hearts? You both have helped me on this journey so much, and I think that the country will benefit from your assistance."

Sophia nodded slowly, tears coming back to her eyes, but Toris' expression was sad as he shook his head.

"Kiku, I have to thank you for this, but I don't think I'll be happy in Hearts. Feliks already has a job in Clubs that he adores, and it would be too cruel to pull him away from there. I must decline this offer, but this doesn't mean that I won't miss you. I'll write and visit, I promise."

"You will be welcome here," he replied after a second, slowly pulling his best friend in the palace into a hug. "Please, bring Feliks and your future family and please visit someday."

"I promise on it," Toris choked as Sophia joined in, the three of them hugging in a clump on the floor as the cheers seemed to die around them.

In this moment, surrounded by his friends and people that supported him, Kiku could lose himself in the joy that he was immersed in.

If only…if only Heracles-

He felt a jolt and quickly pushed it away, squeezing Toris' hand once again.

 _I…I can't. I simply can't allow myself to think about him anymore.  
_

* * *

feeling a little down this week again, aargh. the next chapter'll be longer, i promise!

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	36. Confession

hi everyone, the reason that this chapter's crazy early is because i'm going to japan tomorrow for a week! i don't want to delay the chapter because our wifi is blEH (and i just want to relax because today is the last day of school, and i'm not looking forward to those gcses ugh)

also, are you guys all right this week? i've only had five reviews for two chaps, and i'm usually looking at 7-8 per _chapter_ , which is odd. is it that my chapters aren't good? is it something that i'm doing or are you guys all unavailable? even my regular reviewers aren't commenting that much...and that's why i've felt a little disheartened this week with writing. i _just feel a little disappointed, but again reviewing my story isn't supposed to be tedious and if it is,_ i'm _sorry (´～｀ヾ) but your reviews will mean the world to me for practically forever!_

mailbox

 _lovexoxoluna_ -ooh yes! actually, i was going to introduce fran in the third draft, but then i realised that it would be strange for two kings to be crushing on a single boy ahaha. that's the only reason really! and yes, i love natalya and alfred's potential as a sibling-esque relationship, and i think it's sorta sad that it's not explored more!

 _thisistheearth-_ i actually wrote that in intentionally, because i think (correct me because i've never been in a relationship haha) that jealousy would definitely be involved no matter what. ((and thank you! it's getting better, your words really made me feel better ^^))

 _fuzzywoolsweater_ -hmm, i think you can actually put away your pitchfork for now...and yes, emma's actually a fun character to write! she's just a lovesick girl, and that's a fun angle to write because i can rely on her to always be an outlet where i can talk about the utter perfection that is aph america lol. (and yes, rochu feels. ooo)

 _guest-_ ask and you shall recieve! i hope it's good enough ^^

 _wo b-I KNOW WHO YOU ARE-_ lol it's so cheesy, i know. can't get rid of the sap but thanks ahaha

 _angeldemonprankster_ -kiku's going to do _something_...i'm not sure what, though.

 _spadiantimemage_ -you don't know how happy that makes me. it still never fails to amaze me that people actually like reading my fic (´∀｀•) i'm so humbled, thank you very much!

 _finally,i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for awkwardness, a new room, and gUESS WHO'S BACK, BABY_

* * *

"Matthew and I have to go on a trip to New England next week. They've been offering us a new trade deal recently, and it would be ruder than not to not go. Yao has to hold a meeting with the advisors, so that's why he's staying back. But...we won't be able to stay back for your receptions, even though they're still a while to go yet. Sorry about that."

Arthur sighed, wringing out his hands. It had been a week since their fragile reconciliation, but he had made a promise to Alfred and himself. He wasn't going to clam up any longer.

That…that definitely didn't mean him being _too_ soft, though!

"I suppose it comes with the price of being young royals, hmm? You still haven't really grown up, and you're already being pulled away for diplomatic affairs and things."

"I guess I was born this way. Blue blood here," Alfred said goofily, waving his hand as if he were greeting an adoring audience.

"Don't take on too much work," Arthur retorted, glaring at him, "Even your tie's messier than usual! You'll end up hurting yourself," he said, straightening up his tie before turning away, glaring at Alfred's expression. "W-what are you looking at, idiot?"

"You do care! I knew it, I knew it that you-"

"It's not like that! I don't want you to pass out, because you'll be useless!" Arthur huffed, but eventually let Alfred entwine his fingers with his.

"I'll miss you when I'm gone-but don't tell the others yet. I'll make the official announcement with Matthew. I just wanted to let you know first."

"I appreciate that. But will you still be able to help with preparations?" Arthur asked, flipping the page in his book. "We could use your help, since you have hosted it before."

"It was really Matthew and Yao that did the planning and stuff. I just went around and entertained them, but I think you'll do a good job with Emma and Alfonso."

Arthur wondered if he was talking about them individually, or their efficiency of their group, but he decided to push the tinge of jealousy away.

"Well, you could help me pick out some more history books. We are in the library, after all-" Arthur started to speak, but a clap of thunder outside the arched windows made Alfred shriek in surprise.

"What was _that_? It's only a bit of thunder, why are you clinging to me? I thought you weren't a wuss!" Arthur huffed, but didn't make a move to shake him off.

"That startles me, okay? Even heroes have weaknesses," Alfred complained, but he didn't let go.

"Oh, great, now it's raining. Should we just stay in here instead of walking outside?"

"Yeah. H-hey, didn't you think it was a little too cheesy, all the times we spent together in the rain?" Alfred blurted suddenly.

"Why on earth are you asking this question?" Arthur sighed, nudging his shoulder. "For all those romances I've read, it always _has_ to involve one soppy scene where they're both drenched-pun not intended."

"I hate it when you slip those in!" Alfred whined, knocking both of their heads together for a second. "You're jus' showing off your brain power!"

"I believe I've lost most of that by being around you, but…anyway. There's been so much happening, between the whole process and well, you know. But…I suppose I'd like to do it again."

"Do what?" Alfred said, redirecting his gaze back to him.

"Things used to be easier before, and the last time I saw you in the rain was…months ago. I'd like to see you there again, waiting for me. Cheesy, I know."

"If I were with anyone else, it would be. But you-honestly, you're the person that doesn't make it cheesy."

"Hm?"

Alfred blushed, fiddling with a scrap of his coat before he spoke.

"You're just…you're different, you know? In a good way, of course."

"Uh, good to know," Arthur said, feeling a little awkward. Alfred had been saying more of these things in the week after they'd gotten back to an uneasy start, but Arthur was starting to develop a reluctance to accept them.

"…sorry," Alfred said, noting the awkward silence. "I know you're not fully comfortable with them, but I can't stop saying them anyway. I…I'll try to cut down on the presents and stuff, okay? If only to make you feel better."

"I'd appreciate that. It isn't the fact that I don't like them, it's just the fact that you've probably repeated them to multiple other people. Even though I'm not really sure what you feel about them, what your exact relationship with them is…I'll trust you, for now."

"I'll tell you, if you find it necessary. Do you want me to do that?"

"No, you don't have to." Arthur replied slowly. "It's just that you…I don't know, I just feel like it's not right to be infringing on other people's relationships when we've suddenly started spending more time together. We might see about later, but for now it's all right. We just need to adjust to this, that's all."

"Yeah. This system is fucked up, anyway."

"Language." Arthur sniggered, nudging him.

"Yeah. Perks of being a young royal, huh? Look, after the trip to New England and when I come back, I want to show you something. I don't know if you'll be fine with this, but-"

"Prince Alfred?" a maid with frizzy auburn hair had approached the pair of them. "The Jack and Ace require your presence in the Council Hall for some final preparations for your business trip."

"Sorry, Arthur," Alfred said tipping his glasses off and turning to follow the maid. "I might check in tonight, see you then. Go say hi to the others for me, thanks!"

"I will," Arthur replied, waving before standing up and wiggling his leg.

Alfred did a mock leg wiggle to imitate him, and then he was out of the room.

Sighing, Arthur turned to his book. He'd been in the kitchen yesterday, attempting to recreate his favourite strawberry tarts, but after he had accidentally set the oven and his trousers on fire, he'd been politely asked to look over colour swatches with Alfonso. Of course, he'd acted stroppy, but when Emma came back with a taste plate and a floury nose, all the annoyance disappeared into raw appetite.

* * *

A Week Later

 _"I'd say that was tame for a morning brawl, but hell, Aaron, you looked scary. I don't want to be the person hurting your client when you're bought up," Oliver hummed, pulling the wooden comb across his unruly hair._

 _The six of them were in the small military bedroom they shared, getting dressed for the day. Marina, being the only girl, was given the bathroom to change while the five other boys were happy to change freely in the bedroom (except Leif, who blushed and stuttered through his partial nudity, that wuss)._

 _"Well then, I've done my job!" Aaron laughed, pulling out his tattered hair tie and biting it in his mouth as he pulled his ponytail nice and high again._

 _"Ah, I have never really liked sales day," Leif sighed. He had a huge white shirt that he shuffled his arms around and got changed._

 _"But seriously, Leif, this is the day that most of us have been working for! Like, how uncool would it be if you totally stayed out the rest of your life, here?" Alexander sighed._

 _"True," Marina interjected cheerfully, emerging from the bathroom. "But again, it's almost like I invented sales day, so there!"_

 _The four of them groaned in unison._

 _"You know that Petra's going to check on us in five seconds? I'd say-_

* * *

"Am I interrupting something?" Anna said, opening the door. Arthur jolted from where he was reading his book and uncrossed his legs, moving to greet his maid.

"You have _got_ to know what goes down in the sewing room. Seems like they've decided to rent out the gym so that they can build up their muscles-or was it losing weight? Anyway, it was for some reason. Maybe for the receptions?"

"Now you're speaking of a gym, I could use one," Arthur said, examining his arm. Obviously, he did have some muscle, but it wasn't enough muscle for him to be considered muscular, and it wasn't as much as he'd hoped it would be. "And anyway, doesn't the prince work out there a lot?"

"Possibly. They haven't had a basketball game, though, since…you know. If the girls manage to get the room, I could invite you over if you're free," Anna joked. "And about the prince, that kid's probably gotten more free time than he can manage with. If he chooses to lift weights and slug things around instead of faffing around with the daisies, respect there. However, I do all my lifting work from picking up your laundry."

"Does it really make your muscles more prominent?"

"That, Sir Arthur, I don't know. But I can definitely hold my own in a weightlifting test, because I haul around baskets of fabric, whatever else you need."

"Then if I help you tidy around the room, will that make me more muscular?" Arthur inquired, picking up his bathrobe from last night and attempting to toss into her laundry basket.

Anna laughed, throwing her braid over her shoulder as she effortlessly caught it with one hand. "Well, I wouldn't say I didn't want the help."

A loud knock on the door interrupted the pair of them, and Anna swung the door open to reveal a smaller maid-or was it a butler? Arthur faintly remembered seeing the boy in Natalya's room once, so it could mean that he was a maid.

"Ah, Jamie!" Anna said warmly, opening the door wider. "What brings you here?"

"M-Miss Anna, the prince wanted me to deliver this to Sir Arthur as he was stopping by Lady Natalya's room. You or Sir Arthur both weren't here, a-and I thought I would wait after I finished repairing a dress f…for her," the younger boy stuttered, thrusting out an envelope.

 _Repairs?_ Natalya's dress seemed completely fine after last night…or had something happened? He'd heard rumours about Sakura's date with Alfred two days ago, something about it being ruined because someone had deliberately managed to sabotage it. He'd thought about going to see her, but it seemed that Avie and Emma had had that covered.

And a note, out of the blue? He and Alfred had made conversation in the time that had passed since their reconciliation, but Arthur thought he had made clear that he had wanted a small break afterwards.

But did he want a break now? After all, Alfred _had_ sounded sincere. And if they both kept on skirting around each other and saying the same things to try to get back on track, Alfred would never choose him. And Arthur knew in his heart that he, above all, didn't want that.

"Seems like you've got an appointment with the prince," Anna remarked dryly, tossing the small note to Arthur, who fumbled with it but ultimately failed to catch it.

"You think he's finally kicking me out?" he said as he bent down to scoop up the note.

"Doubt it. You see, he's asking you to meet him on the staircase leading to the first floor. Invitation to see his bedroom, probably."

Arthur took a breath of surprise, and unfolded the note.

 _Meet me on the staircase on the far left of the first floor. Five minutes be okay?_

* * *

He was waiting on the end of the staircase when Arthur came down. He'd taken a little time to pull on a jacket and things, but nothing too excessive, not wanting the prince to think that he was going out of his way to look attractive just for him. Alfred lit up all the while, scurrying up the staircase to take his arm anyway, but something about his movement was more determined than usual as he nearly pulled the shorter boy down the staircase.

"Sorry to cut this short, Arthur," he said, digging in his shirt for a small key that bore the Spades emblem near the top. "We only have around thirty minutes for this, so in order for you to get as much time as you can, we'll make this quick."

"What are we going to do?" Arthur asked, watching as Alfred unlocked the door to the first floor and led him through the lavish rooms there.

Skidding to a halt in front of light blue doors, they finally came to a halt.

"Okay, before we start, I'll remind you that we can't let anyone know what happened. Thirty-twenty five minutes now, okay?"

"...you're not trying anything funny, right, Your Highness?" Arthur ventured quietly. Only the two of them, in the first floor, where they wouldn't be disturbed…it made his mind cast back to the first night where they first met. Even now he would be all right with kneeing him, if it was necessary.

Alfred stood there, completely confused for a second before bursting into laughter, leaning against the door. Taking a moment to recompose himself, he shook his head, chuckling slowly to himself.

"I'm a prince, Arthur. Ain't thinking of takin' advantage of ya, especially what you did the first night you came here. Okay, let's jus' go in…"

The room was bright and spacious, with wide windows stretching from the top of the ceiling and the floor, and a balcony resembling the one in Arthur's room, but it was a lot larger. A large four poster bed rested in the corner, with a walk in closet, a large table and chairs for a workspace, and a smaller, blue table with two chairs and a lounge in front of the bed, but other than that the room was not furnished. Nothing hanging on the walls, a simple light hanging on the ceiling, no decorations, and the walls were stripped bare. There seemed to be another archway leading into another room on the left, but other than that the walls and the flooring were completely untouched.

"Well, this is the princess's suite! I know it's a lil bare," Alfred said softly, closing the door behind them. "But it's what we have until we find the new princess…well, until we get a coronation, they'll, uh, live here. When my mom moved to the queen's room, they cleared it out. That's why it's a lil plain right now."

Arthur's eyes widened as he took in the sight. Generations of royalty had lived here.

"Ya want me to take you around? O-only if you want to, of course." Alfred asked, inclining his glance towards Arthur.

"I would like that."

"Okay, so this is the balcony. It's sorta secured just in case someone wants to hurt the princess, but other than that it's the perfect view of the gardens. I sometimes sneak in to take a sniff," Alfred admitted, leading Arthur over. "And the next room goes into a spare room. Some people have used it as a study before, some others have used it as a room to practise their magic, but my mom decided to make it into a library. The bookcases are still there, I think? And here," he gestured to the archway, "It leads to my pad."

"Pad?" Arthur said, raising a thick eyebrow.

"Yeah, that's my room. We're not supposed to have the princess too far off, because, you know."

He blushed with the thought, the possibility of having Alfred so close to him if he ever came to live here.

"Finally, here's where we access the safe room lock. It's located near the far left of the wardrobe," he said, closing his eyes and quickly muttering a handful of words, revealing a latch. A section of the wardrobe hollowed out, revealing a space. "Give me a sec," he patted Arthur's shoulder, squeezing into the entrance. "Sorry for the little delay."

"I don't really, like, mind it," came the familiar voice.

Arthur's eyes widened, and he stepped back a little, feeling his breath hitch. No way in the Fates did that voice, that verbal tick come from the person who he desperately hoped it was.

Alfred and Leon emerged from the staircase, the latter wearing a simple shirt with overflowing sleeves and black pants.

"Leon?" he said quietly, almost in disbelief.

"It's me, Arthur," the brown haired boy laughed, wrapping him into a hug. That seemed to jolt him out of his shock, and he hugged back, asking him over and over again how on earth he was still alive.

"Twenty minutes, Leon. You can go back the way you came, because that's easier. Tell Emil to take it easy," Alfred said before ducking under the archway and closing the glass door.

"I've missed you so much," Arthur cried, for once not caring about his tears. "What happened? How did you and Emil make it out?"

"Aah, look at the two of us, sobbing like total babies," Leon said, hugging his friend tighter. "It was all thanks to Alfred. He…he got us out after the caning, we were, like supposed to be deported somewhere. But something happened, and that's why we've been, like, working downstairs. I've been helping down in the kitchens, and Emil's been limping for a while now, but he'll be totally fine soon."

"Is he doing better?" he blurted. So many questions collided in his mind, but that was the one that seemed the most polite to start off with.

"Oh, he's doing a lot better," Leon sighed, his eyes turning a little glassy and dreamy at the mention of Emil. "The maids have helped fashion him a cane, so he limps around downstairs, and sometimes helps with the laundry. It's totally cute. He can't do any sort of heavy work, though, so I've been, like, helping him a lot. Even so, we've had loads of help. I mean, my hands have totally healed, minus a few scars."

He held out his palms, and Arthur gingerly touched them with his fingertips. They definitely weren't the most attractive to look at, but Leon seemed completely at ease with it. The surface felt unnatural to the touch, but he was completely fine, and that was what mattered.

"Wait, you've been in the palace the whole time, right? Where have you been living for now?"

"There was a spare room we got to use downstairs. Of course, I had to, like, haul all the furniture and the bed and stuff, but Emil got to make the bedspread and he's used my old shirt for his puffin's nest. He's not very good with the patchwork stuff though."

"Hold on-the two of you share a room? And by extension, a bed?"

"Well, yeah," Leon laughed, blushing a little. "We've gotten…well, like, a lot more serious as you can see. A week after the caning, Emil asked if he could, like, contact his family."

Arthur's mind cast back to Matthias. It must have been him and his partner at the caning. He couldn't even imagine how terrified they must have been if they weren't told that Emil was safe.

"It took forever, but last Monday they managed to come to the palace and see him. I've been trying to contact Austen since, but, like, he's on an artisan tour or something. I managed to talk with him once, and he was confused but he was, like, so relieved. But he did say something about keeping contact to a minimum because he doesn't, like, want to get caught. Austen's very loyal to the law, but he has a good moral compass. But his colleagues don't," Leon spat, suddenly looking angry. "If they even try anything against him, I'm totally beating up all of them."

"But yet...Tino, one of Emil's uncles, gave him a ring. It's totally beautiful," he said quickly, noting Arthur's intrigued expression. "It's a ruby, I think. Maybe Emil said something about the fact that I liked the colour red. I'm trying to save up for a ring, but I've collected a little bit of blue fabric for now. It's a bunch and his puffin likes to nip at it and it's totally not cute, but I…I'll provide better for him. Lukas, Emil's…well, he raised Emil but he's like, his mom or something, offered to hold a wedding reception in his bar, but I don't think he's ready to make it ring on ring official. I mean, we're like, eighteen, right?"

"Whoever wins this thing will have to marry at this age anyway, right?" Arthur laughed, but his brown eyes met his green in confusion.

"What do you mean 'whoever'? Aren't you and Alfred totally a thing? I thought you two were, like, endgame."

His smile faded, and he shook his head, wringing out his hands.

"It's…it's just not the same anymore. It's not that simple. I mean, some things happened after your caning. Apparently, I manipulated time."

"No way," Leon exhaled sharply. "I thought that ability was, like, limited to the Primary Suit and a handful of other people who have taken magic?"

"Apparently not…but basically what happened is that the Jack told me that magic is largely controlled by emotions." Noting Leon's interested expression, he decided to go on. "And you know…there's a risk of my feelings and my magic being amplified by Alfred. And so basically, we had a huge fight, and we-I managed to blow it out of proportion by saying some stupid things. We tried making up, but it only grew worse."

"…have you guys made up yet?"

"Not in the sense. I mean, we have talked it out and we've reached a peace, but it's nothing like what we were before. I think I…I've ruined it," Arthur said quietly, biting his lip. "And now, I'm not sure at all whether he'll choose me, in the end. Also…he's had something with Emma now."

"Wait- _Emma_? I mean, they were close before, but-what has, like, happened since I was gone?" his expression turned disbelieving, and the sandy blond nodded in response, clearing his throat.

"Basically, something happened-I don't know what it was, specifically-and they really got close after your caning, while I've just been…drifting farther and farther away. I'm sorry, Leon, about not running up to get you. I was just worried that it would make me in trouble with the law, and afterwards, with the whole magic thing…"

"No, no, it's all right, Arthur. After all, that wouldn't have, like, done anything. I just hope Emma hasn't been hurt."

"Honestly? She…she's been doing better than any of us. Last week, the Joker rebels attacked, and she ran off into the woods. She seemed fine except for a few cuts and her feet being tired, but Alfred…took it hard. You should have seen them, then." Arthur tried to muster up a smile, but it only came out tired.

"…let me guess. You want to let go of him, but you're still totally in love with him, right?"

"W-well, it's just that it's getting obvious I won't be chosen. So should I let him go before he breaks my heart agai-"

"Let me stop you right there," Leon sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I can't believe you're still totally in denial. Arthur, he's showing you the freaking _princess's suite._ If that doesn't say 'you're not going any time soon' the only way that's more obvious is that if he says it outright. Hasn't he, like, said he loves you?"

The sandy blond swallowed once.

"He hasn't said those three words exactly, no. But after what happened in the Halloween party, I'm not sure what to think."

"That seems like an age ago," Leon echoed. "But I think he still loves you. After all the crap that's, like, happened. So what if he loves Ems? I think he totally loves you more."

"But how do I know that? He…I know it's part of the process, but I just feel worried. It's like there's a minefield, and every time I manage to hurt his feelings more we get farther and farther apart. And who knows if I'll hurt him with my magic? I also don't want to hurt Emma. She…I know she's in love with him, and he is with her. What kind of monster would I be to destroy their relationship?"

"First of all, you're not a monster. It's totally instinct to fight for the guy you love," Leon said, patting his shoulder. "And if you feel threatened by Emma or someone else, then I guess it's, like, instinct as well. I'm not a love expert on love triangles, because…well. I've found the one I love and the person who I totally want to spend the rest of my days with, so I'm happy."

"How do you know you love Emil? Un…unconditionally?"

"I would do anything for him," Leon said simply. "I treat him as he's, like, the most precious person in the world-which he _is_ , totally. I was happy to take that caning if it meant that I could be with him. Even though he's a little quiet sometimes, and my hands aren't, like, as smooth or as pretty as they used to be, I would still do it anyway. And I won't find it a problem…well, later when we come out of hiding, I definitely won't, like, hesitate to tell everyone I love him."

"I'm jealous, honestly," Arthur said. "You two have such an easy romance. I mean, overseeing the whole caning thing, the both of you fell in love within two months even though you two barely saw each other. It's been four-no, five months now and Alfred and I have so many problems that I sometimes think we can't ever solve."

Leon giggled once, and ran a hand through his hair.

"It's not really as easy as you totally think. Emil's…always been detached, like, even from his family. It took me like forever for him to start talking to me, but I want to provide for him better. Because you know, I have, like, so many cousins and a huge family. I just, like, want him to feel welcome. But really…there are no words for how much I love him."

"The two of you make it look so easy."

"I honestly don't know how it was, like, so easy, really. I've always prepared myself to fight to the tooth for a boy's heart, but I ended up totally not having to fight at all. That, and I got a cutie silver haired guard instead of a blond prince. But…I'm happy, Arthur. And whether that is with Alfred or, like, by your own, I'll still be your friend. I promise."

", Leon. Thank you," he said, giving him a hug. He really didn't know how else to show his gratitude in that moment, so that physical action seemed to be the best course of action.

"Hey. If it's okay, can I, like, ask you another a question?"

"…sure."

"Do you love Alfred? And be honest."

Arthur's breath caught. He'd been preparing for this question, but not from Leon's mouth, but from Alfred's. But in a way, this question was for himself. Did he really love the prince, or was this just an infatuation that had already died away, after the fight and after the caning?

He swallowed once, meeting his best friend's level brown gaze.

"I…I do," he said in a rush of breath. He could hear Leon's relieved grin and a mutter of _'I knew it,'_ but that moment seemed to mean more to himself than anyone else-the fact that he could finally acknowledge that he was utterly, _hopelessly_ in love with Prince Alfred.

"I love him," he whispered again, feeling his cheeks flame and his heart pound so fast that it threatened to jump out of his chest.

* * *

i've missed writing him honestly! he'll be back B))

also goodbye england, why did you leave the eu fam

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	37. Moonlight

my beloved friend tey was the thing that made me get off my lazy arse and get to work with editing this chapter, so this one's for you! i'm back from japan and i uh totally didn't buy a shitload of stuff. yeah.

mailbox

 _angeldemonprankster_ -god yes, it's all going to hell. and for your request, how on earth did you read my mind?

 _livandra_ (welcome to the party!)-i wonder if leon will tell on him lol. that would spice things up!

 _hearthorse11_ -ohh, that's my fault then! i was deleting chapters to make individual ones longer, and it's more than fine if you have your own things to do. this fanfic's for someone to enjoy, not a commitment (´∀｀•) and the celeste person...well, i found it difficult to really villanize any of the characters, but i think there's a clear bias of who it is later, so look forward to that! p.s. it's not emma, but good guess!

 _pastaaddict_ -i'm going to lose my tether with them as well!

 _russia says hello_ -ack, please don't apologize because it's not your fault. i'm sorry for that! but i don't think kiku _has_ completely forgotten him, however hard he's trying to. and leon'll be back, for sure (and i'll be sure to include emil next time)

 _regine_ -*cue myself, waiting at your hospital bed with a bouquet of flowers and a new chapter that i printed out* um, i hope you'll survive this new chapter _

 _amethystfairy_ (WELCOME BACK!)-your review made me want to rewatch high school musical lol. take your time, please!

 _lovexoxoluna_ -that sounds like a really interesting idea, i'll see if i can put it in without it sounding too forced. the idea of a project sounds cool, though! and there's a reason why natalya's not introduced as a love interest, one of the reasons being that i love their brother/sister dynamic so much, and well...you'll see ^^

 _van an_ -yo let's take a graduation trip after our gcses

 _finally,i still don't ownhetalia nor the selection. they belong tokieracass andhidekazhimaruya respectively. disclaimer for receptions, goodbye to our favourite bros for a little bit, and CHEESE_

* * *

"Looks like we're starting to pull into shape," Alfonso commented as the three of them watched the band for the Andantinos play. The other reception was starting the day after tomorrow, and the four of them in the other team had been rushing around the palace walls, usually holding a stack of papers more often than not.

"I've actually been a little worried about Emma," Arthur commented in a low tone. She was exchanging words with Sakura, who had a roll of fabric under her arm. "She has recovered quickly from last week, or is that just a façade for the rest of us to read? I hope she's fine, though. She seems more tired than usual."

"…well, you are right." Alfonso said. "But again, look at her appearance. Isn't her dress a little more bold than the gauzy, flimsy things she usually wears?"

Instead of the usual green dress, Emma was clad in striking red today. Her dress swept to the ground instead of hovering around her ankles and had an intricate lace bodice instead of the simple ones she usually liked to wear.

"I guess the girls are opting to wear fancier dresses now because we're in the Elite? I think they think that it gives them an advantage. Whether that's true or not, I don't know."

"Remember when Leon used to wear a dress once every week?" he blurted. "Sorry if you don't want to talk about him, but I just wanted to remember that his fashion sense was definitely better than either one of ours."

"No, it's fine with me," Arthur said, pushing away the joy he had of seeing Leon two days ago. "I guess it's an unspoken rule not to speak about him, but as much as we can, we should. Because we can't forget him, yes? But you are right. Once he dared me to wear a dress and I found out that day in the hard way that I simply can't wear that colour of blue."

"You just ran out for three seconds then disappeared. Although the prince seemed to do a double take when you did. Hey, should I try wearing a dress soon?"

"Tch," Arthur huffed, folding his arms. "I suppose you'll look less clownish than you usually do-"

They were interrupted by Alfred and Matthew's harried entrance into the Drawing Room, with Yao looking up from his clipboard of notes.

"Hello, boys," the Jack said calmly, tilting his glasses. "Didn't you mention something about making an announcement?"

"Yep!" Alfred said perkily. "We've been called away for a week of duties in New England, and it's one of our first diplomatic trips ever!" The Elite clapped at this, and he took a mock bow before Matthew shoved him playfully and continued.

"Unfortunately, this means that my brother and I will not be able to attend your receptions, which I am sure will be fantastic. However, we will be asking the Jack about this when we return, and we are looking forward to the results. But now, we have to part for a while."

The group of seven rushed to talk with the brothers, Emma sharing a laugh with Matthew and Alfonso nodding at Alfred's remark, but Arthur hung back until Marianne had left a kiss on Matthew's cheek as a greeting.

* * *

"Good luck with the diplomats,"

"I'll need it, last time when they were introducing me they forgot my name and they nearly left it at His Royal Highness Prince…who?"

Arthur burst out laughing, quickly covering his mouth as he realized. "I'm sorry, that must be terribly rude of me-"

"No, no, it's quite all right," Matthew amended quickly. "Me and Alfred still have a good laugh about it once in a while. But yeah, I hope that doesn't happen again. Uh, Arthur," he said, shooting a quick glance at a certain frustrated honey blond. "Sorry to cut this short, but…I think my brother wants a word with you before he leaves. Good luck with your project, and I'll see you next week."

"Have a safe trip, Your Highness," Arthur said, feeling relieved that all talks of the affair had died this time, as Matthew walked away from him. He had used to think that their communication was just because of his forbidden relationship between him and Gilbert, but he was relieved that their connection was based on something not so dangerous.

Arthur's eyes searched for Alfred, but he found him pretty quickly. He was chatting lightly with Emma and Sakura.

"Be careful out there, Your Highness," Sakura said softly. "Also, I must thank you for your English ressons that you have been providing me. I wirl look forward to them when you come back."

Alfred nodded eagerly, which made her laugh, then he kissed her hand and moved on to Emma.

"Don't do anything rash, okay? We don't want anything like that whipping cream accident last week," he laughed.

"Shush, that never happened," she replied, but her voice sounded choked. "You'll be all right, yeah?"

"I'll be great if I know you weren't worrying about me. I'll be all right, my dear," Alfred said soothingly, cupping her elbow and kissing her cheek. "Please say hello to the Court for me, specifically Lady Francine. She promised me last time that she would give me archery lessons after I nearly shot down a tree. Do take those lessons in my absence."

"I will, Alfie," Emma whispered, her eyes welling up. "Just come home."

They shared a tender gaze before Alfred gave her a mock salute and let her go, to which she smiled and gave his hands a final squeeze before letting him go.

Every one of the Elite's gazes was fixed on the two of them, including Arthur. If this wasn't clear cut enough, the both of them had a very honest and sweet relationship. The proof of Emma's lingering gaze and Alfred's reluctance to completely leave her touch was as defined as they could get. As Arthur watched the prince approach him, he looked for any sign that set him and Emma apart: how Alfred looked at him, how he approached him-

"You okay?" his voice jolted Arthur out of his reverie, and he nodded quickly. "I'll be back home right after you close your eyes and open them again-if that takes a week or two for you to blink!"

"Are you really joking around at a time like this?" Arthur sighed, shaking his head, fighting a laugh. "You won't be any danger, right? Stop asking after everyone else, it's _you_ that I'm worried about."

"No need to worry, princess. I'll just be in a room of high strung diplomats and I'll be eating twice my weight in boredom," Alfred teased. "I'd rather spend it here, but you know. The perks of being young and royal."

Arthur did laugh, then, but something wanted to make him pull Alfred into a room and tell him everything, instead of a rushed goodbye in front of the rest of the Elite. He bit his lip, and by the way Alfred looked at him, he could tell that he could get the message. For _once_.

"I'm jetting off tomorrow morning. What about nine, that room on the end of your floor? It's just you and Alfonso now, and he's on the other side."

"I would like that…Your Highness," Arthur said softly, fighting back the urge to turn back and look at him.

He nodded, giving him a smile, before walking back to Matthew and patting his shoulder.

"Good luck with your receptions the day after tomorrow and the day after that! We'll come back soon," Alfred said, waving as the Elite clapped.

"I hope he'll be fine," Emma sniffled as Sakura patted her back.

Alfonso and Arthur exchanged a glance, then went to console their friend as well.

* * *

"Alfred?" Arthur said slowly, peeking through the door. It was nine on the dot. Arthur usually was earlier fifteen minutes prior to the scheduled time, but he had decided that he'd at least change and make an effort before going to see him.

"Arthur!" the voice was the only audible warning before he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his midsection and squeeze, knocking the wind out of him.

"I thought ya wouldn't come," Alfred said huskily as Arthur detached from him, half-heartedly punching his shoulder in retaliation. "I thought ya wouldn't want ta say goodbye…"

"At times like these, I think that you don't even know me at all," Arthur bit back, and decided to reach for the light switch in retaliation, turning off the light.

"Hey! Why did you turn it off!" Alfred complained. "Now I can't see you!"

"You don't need to see someone to talk with them, you idiot. Anyway, can't you use a spell for a small source of light?"

"Oh, right!" came the sudden reply. A murmur of words later, a dim light illuminated Alfred's face, and Arthur edged closer to him.

"…I was being sarcastic about the magic, but all right."

"I thought you had learned that spell in lessons, but…come sit down with me," he chided, and with a huff, Arthur curled up next to him on the tiled floor.

"You'll have to teach me that spell later."

"That's fine! So what was so secretive that you couldn't say it in front of the others?"

"You know me, I'm a private person. There's…well, how do I say it…a good thing as to why you're going away."

"…do you really not want to see me that much?"

"No, no, it's not that," Arthur said quickly, looking at his expression in the dimming light (it was like that of an adorably disappointed puppy.) "Don't you think we need some time apart that doesn't involve me getting worried that you're starting to hate me, or a meeting that doesn't involve us fighting? I mean, it's taken me two weeks to accept affectionate touches _in private_ , and I'm still sometime uneasy on your compliments and things. If it happens again, I'm not sure I can…you know, handle it."

"I don't want to fight, but I guess we can't help it, right? But again, I don't think we're the kind of couple with a relationship that doesn't exclude fighting. I guess, well, we both have to try, then?"

"What do you think I'm doing?" Arthur grouched. "Do use your idiotic mind for a moment."

"I prefer it when you're a grump sometimes. Reminds me that you're still you. But honestly, will you miss me?"

"…of course not," Arthur huffed. Catching Alfred's surprised expression, he flushed and shoved the prince. "Who do you take me for? I might…idiot."

 _At least, I won't say it out loud. But I will miss you, in the end._

"...but Arthur, why didn't you yell at me when I hugged you from behind?" Alfred asked uncertainly. "It usually involves you calling me an idiot over and over again…"

"Is-it is it a problem when I want to show you just a _little_ affection? Not like I enjoy them or anything, it's just that you wanted them. You did say that we both had to try, so I think this is me trying, I guess," he said, unclasping his hands and subconsciously revealing his palms. 2

"Does that mean I can shower you in gifts and compliments then?" Alfred perked up.

"Alfred…" Arthur shot him a sarcastic glance, but the prince persisted.

"Aww, Artie, please, you know you want to hear something sweet, sugar…"

"S-shut up, you idiot!" Arthur grumped. "Fine, only one, but that's all! You'll have to pay me back for that later."

"Okay, I've got a bunch! Stealing your heart would be my second crowning achievement!"

The other boy opened his mouth to protest, but Alfred wouldn't give him the chance, simply crushing him to his chest in a cheerful gesture.

"Call the doctors, I'm getting a sugar overdose by being around you! Hey, wonder what's my suit made out of? No, not the best material in all of the kingdoms, because that's you! I'll tell you now-my suit's made out of boyfriend material! Is that why the garden's lost most of their colour today, is it because your eyes are full of the-"

"I'm going to have to ask you to hush there! That was way too many, and I said one, not five." Arthur huffed, but when the corners of Alfred's mouth quirked up into a smile, he couldn't resist.

No doubt about it, they had their problems, but was it worth stolen time together, half an hour curled up next to him? It wasn't the power that came with the crown that really attracted him, but rather the fact that he was, well, _Alfred_.

 _Of course I'm scared, you dork,_ Arthur thought as he gingerly shuffled closer towards him, resting his head against his shoulder. He felt Alfred's surprised breath and exhale against his hair, but he decided to concentrate on the dim light cupped in his palms.

 _Of course I'm scared, because someone as perfect as you could be stolen away from me in a heartbeat. And I know that you love me-no, I don't know that. But you damn act like you do._

"Artie? What are you thinking about, sugar?"

"You," he blurted, and Alfred could see his blush darkening in the fluttering speck of light that was still left. He craned his neck to nuzzle into Arthur's messy hair, and he shuffled closer.

"Well, you're constantly on my thoughts." Alfred said quietly.

 _For good or for worse, I'm thinking about you. And even though I think I'm starting to read you better, there are so many moments where I hesitate when you say something. There is so much I want to show you, so much that I want to tell you, but you'll run. And I'm scared that this time I can't catch you. And I can't apologize. And I'll lose my chance to tell you what I really feel for good._

 _This is the closest we've been in months,_ Arthur panicked as Alfred tilted his gaze closer. _Is he…will he kiss me? If he does, should I let him? It's been a month and a half…what would it feel like? He hasn't been on a date with anyone, and even if he has and hasn't told me, he says he only kisses other people on special occasions…but again he said that he wouldn't be kissing anyone soon anyway. Should I trust him again? Is every first love this stressful? Does this mean we're getting closer again? Does he still love me? Does this kiss mean more than just a kiss? Am I questioning far too many things? What is Alfred thinking right now?_

 _I wanna kiss you I wanna kiss I wanna kiss you I wanna kiss you I wanna kiss you I wanna kiss you I wanna kiss you,_ Alfred thought.

"Lemme kiss you. Please," he mumbled, looking away and blushing as fiercely as the other was.

"You idiot," Arthur hummed, shuffling closer, "All you had to do was ask."

He closed the distance as the last of the lights flickered out.

* * *

"…ow, my cheek! You don't have to jam your nose into it!"

"Not my fault I couldn't see!" Alfred yelped, pulling back. "Let's just do this again-"

Arthur didn't give him a chance as he yanked on his tie, but it only managed to make them topple over another with a small _mmph_ of surprise.

"Not _that_ violently," he complained, but didn't seem too bothered nonetheless. "My chin's sore now!"

"Well, not my fault I can't see as well!" Arthur protested, shooting him a glare. "Should we just stop-"

"No," Alfred said, his tone steadier than it had been before. "I really do want to kiss you, and it's been months."

Arthur's gaze followed him as he went over to the curtains and pulled them aside, allowing the moonlight to stream into the darkened room.

"This is getting more cliché by the second," Arthur laughed as Alfred nuzzled back into his hair and wrapped his arms around his waist again, pulling him onto his lap.

"Well, I guess you could say it's one of my flaws. Told you I wasn't perfect, after all," he joked into his ashy blond hair, feeling his heartbeat start to calm down as Arthur gradually stopped squirming.

"Oh? I thought the precious golden boy was completely flawless," he taunted in retaliation, "What else are you completely awful at?"

"Well, sometimes I can't understand the atmosphere-at least, that's what Mattie told me once. We went to King Ludwig's coronation party, after he finished his Deciding with Jack Feliciano, right? An' I made this witty joke about something, and I kept on making them until Ludwig told-well, _begged_ me to stop."

"Why did you do that? I'm assuming the whole bloody ballroom went silent."

"Uh, Feliciano was laughing up a storm," the prince said sheepishly. "But it took me awhile to realize that no one else was. I don't really even remember what I said. So I _think_ that's one of my weak points-not being able to read the atmosphere, or at least I just don't want to."

"Well, I think that one can avoid most of the world's cruelty by choosing to ignore it," the sandy blond began to muse, but Alfred buried his nose in the soft spot where Arthur's right collarbone and his shoulder joined.

"Don't be so cynical," Alfred chided. "I'll tell you more if you let us stay in our own little world."

"You're too optimistic sometimes," Arthur replied. "I guess that's one of your flaws, or is it because I'm too much of a pessimist?"

"Let's just say it's the last option. S'good and all."

"Shut up, you idiot. Very well, I've given you one of my flaws, can you tell me another? Let me guess, you're completely awful at the lessons you get."

"How did you know? Well, you're, for the most part right. If Yao teaches me, he usually gives up after half an hour. My tutors definitely have a difficult time with me, but they don't nag as much as my advisors. All the way back after the first elimination? One of them tried to tutor me in History, insisting that I still needed lessons even though I had more important things on my mind, and I decided to sneak out with one of the Chosen instead. He never found me," Alfred laughed, and Arthur knocked their heads together in half hearted disapproval.

"Isn't there any sort of subject that you like at all?"

"Well, I like astronomy and archaeology. You know, stars and bones?"

"I would put that in a more refined way," Arthur said dryly, "But yes, stars and bones. I've always liked the stars, but I was surprised to find out that they were instead circular in shape rather than the five pointed things I crayoned in my childhood."

"I was crushed when I found out…but yeah, they're actually different colours, not just pastel yellow. Some red, some yellow, some blue. They come in so many different shades, but I've always liked the blue stars. Sometimes they're like the wallpaper in my bedroom, sometimes they're as pale as my formal suit, sometimes they even look green. Honestly, that was one of my first thoughts as I saw your eyes that night." Alfred admitted bashfully. "Remember that night we first met? There weren't a lot of stars then, but I thought about your eyes in comparison. I think I've finally realized your stars are prettier than those in the skies."

"S-stop being so cheesy, you git," Arthur blushed, half-heartedly swatting at him.

"I think that's one of my flaws as well. You just make me act as cheesy as actual cheese,"

"That's another one-the inability to crack decent jokes. Very well, I'll give you one of my own-I simply can't cook. For some reason, the stove loathes me."

"That time you almost burnt your trousers off served as enough proof for me," Alfred snickered.

"You little-!"

"Hey, that hurts! I know you like my shoulders an' all, but-"

"Idiot, idiot, idiot! You'll pay for that! " Arthur yelled, pummelling his shoulders with his fists. He wasn't putting in all the effort, but _still_ …

"I'm amazing at cooking, I'll show you one day!"

"I'm just _teasing,_ sugar-hey! We'll see about that."

Arthur grumbled at him, but allowed Alfred to wrap a secure arm around his waist and angle him so that they were facing each other.

"Well, you still seem perfect most of the time. So how do I know that you're not?"

"We're coming back to this, huh? Well…there is this one thing that's been nagging me recently. It really makes me question my own perfection."

"Tch. But do tell."

"There's been this person these past four months that's been distracting me a lot. I can't get him out of my head, and when he comes around, he makes me feel like mush all the time. But I don't think I can stay away from him. He has blond hair, and the prettiest green eyes I've seen, and he's called Arthur Kirkland. Any tips?"

Arthur snorted. Or giggled. Duchess, Alfred was making him doubt his own bloody _laugh_. "Have you even tried to distance yourself from him? Have you even made an active effort?"

Alfred placed his hand on his chin, pretending to think. After a few moments, he shook his head energetically, his honey blond hair all over the place.

"After some intense thought, I really haven't. Should I, like, start now?"

"Do you think he would like that you're cutting ties?" he asked.

"I don't want to break his heart, you know. And I think I couldn't bear if I left him for too long, so don't expect me to start distancing myself from him any time soon." Alfred murmured, leaning close.

 _He's going to kiss me, isn't he? He still wants to, after everything that's happened. And I want him to kiss me, after everything that's passed between us. But I'm not fearless enough in this moment to-_

His thoughts were cut off by Alfred's warm mouth pressing against his. He could feel the flutter of his eyelashes, the grip around his waist, his calloused thumb running over his cheekbones.

Shifting slightly to accommodate him, they kissed again in what felt like an eternity. He could feel the warmth that was Alfred, his taste of toffee, and as they broke apart, he could hear the prince's irregular breathing.

"You know, we've kissed a few times, but that felt different. Like we haven't done it before."

"Well, you're the kind of romantic fool to say that if we had kissed half an hour ago."

"Even if it's half an hour, I'd miss you. I'd miss your touch, your presence, the whole package."

"Shut up, golden boy," Arthur teased. "Stop being so perfect. I'll practically be choking on perfection at this point."

"Yeah, well…there's such a thing as too perfect, Arthur. If our relationship was completely free of fighting and troubles, I don't think we would have been at the same point, in the end. If we keep on hiding our flaws, the other won't grow to love them. But really…would ya love me even if I wasn't flawless?"

"If you were flawless, well…let's just say that there would be less to love. I'll love your flaws, because they're a _part of you_." Arthur whispered, staring down and gingerly resting his head against Alfred's chest. He could feel the other boy's breath as the atmosphere quietened.

 _We're…it's just the two of us now, Alfred. If you tell me, if you confess that you love me right now, I'll say it back. I…I actually have, but you weren't there. If you asked me to marry you right now, I…I would hesitate, but if nothing else happens between us I'll say yes. Of course, I would ask you to push it back quite a bit, but I still will. Alfred, I'm not confident enough to say that I love you, but…when we both are fearless, when we both don't doubt so much of each other anymore…I swear, I'll say it to you then._

"H-hey, Arthur? You okay there? It's getting late…do you want me to take you back to your room?"

 _Kiss me,_ Arthur begged in his mind, locking the thoughts away for no one but his own. _Kiss me like you used to, that night where you told me you wanted me. Tell me that you still…that you love me, tell me that you're not afraid of anything, of anyone coming between us. Kiss me, like how it was when your words were like love letters to me, that night you pulled me out into the rain and told me I was the most beautiful thing then._

"It's nothing," he said quickly, detaching himself from the prince. All those words were jarring into his mind, and he wasn't sure whether he liked them or not. A tone of panic wormed its way into his mind-what if Alfred broke his heart again? He was sure that he would never recover.

"…what's wrong? Hey, your face…tell me about it, princess." Alfred said quickly, pulling Arthur back onto his lap and securing him into his touch again. He could feel the other boy's quickening heartbeat against his chest.

"I-I'm still scared. About what might happen between us," Arthur admitted. "That we're both hesitant, that I might feel that we're too unpredictable, how you could seem so perfect one moment and break my heart the next. And the Deciding-what if you choose someone else other than me?"

"Uh, I don't really think we'll ever have such a large argument as we did last time. I mean, if we could have recovered from that, I think there's not much another fight could do to get worse. And about choosing someone else…you know that it has to be this way. I can't spend all of my time with one person without it getting too suspicious."

"True. But again…wasn't there a part of the selection process that needed the Fates to approve of the newly chosen Queen by anointing the mark of the Spade somewhere on the body?"

"You've been doing your research, princess. And that's true. After the official announcement, we'll go to the prayer room-yanno, the one located at the top wing of the palace? And if it works, the mark will be visible-for the Queens, it appears between the shoulder blades. For the Jacks, it's on the wrist, for the Aces it's on the top part of their right shoulders, and for the Kings-" he said, hastily unfastening a handful of buttons off his waistcoat and yanking his shirt to the side, "It's on our chests. Come on, take a look."

"Wouldn't that be, er, indecent?"

"Nah, I'm chill with it," Alfred laughed. "It's actually a little fancier than the Queen and Jack's mark. Actually, the Ace's design is the exact same one to the King's because they're usually related, but it's smaller in size."

Arthur slowly touched it with a finger, feeling the small bumps of the mark and the swirls fanning out against the surface. It was royal blue in colour, and around the size of his palm, if not a little larger.

"But what if the person you choose doesn't receive the queen's mark?"

"Then I haven't followed my heart, simple as that." Alfred said simply. "You know, I spent around a year apprenticing with Ludwig over in Hearts when I was fifteen. He was still the Prince of Hearts then, and he was planning his own Deciding by then, since his own brother had been turned into a Joker following their last birthday. He was two years older than me, but he was seriously more mature! He told me that there was this superstition of a soul mate that was spread around generation to generation in Hearts, that there is this one person that you are bound to fall in love with sometime in your life. He wasn't very happy that he had to go through with a Deciding, because he thought that the concept of soul mates were just a myth and he wanted to marry the person that would be most beneficial to his kingdom, but he found Feliciano. And if those two aren't soul mates, I'm not sure what they are. But again, when I finally had to plan out my own, he told me to not to just look at the candidates just because of where their holding facilities were located in Cards, he told me to follow my gut. But even in the end, I had to ask so many people, including him, Yao and Matthew. Matt actually helped me with choosing you, actually."

"…do you think you might find your 'soul mate' here?"

"Honestly? I don't really know. There seems to be moments where I'm sure that it's, uh, someone, but then I think it's someone else, but then others that convince me that someone is better off for me, more suited for Spades. But I went into this not knowing how feeling for a soul mate would be like. I've asked Ludwig so many times, and he just says that it's different for everyone. I understand that, but…I just want a general outline. Is there a different way one acts around their soul mate?"

"I'm not sure, but I think it's different around every person. But there's a general vibe from the books I've been reading in the library about-this person changes your whole perception. It might be about the world, about everyone and anyone around you, but most importantly they change _you_. If-if you're always the kind to not get involved in wars and prefer to say neutral and talk it out instead of going to war, you'll fight in a heartbeat to save them. It's…it's like seeing them and realizing all you to do for them is to make them smile. Even if you can't love yourself, you know that you can love them."

Alfred tilted his head to get a better look at him. Even though they had moved away, he could still see Arthur. The faint moonlight added emphasis to his faint freckles and his half smile, his green eyes sparkling as he spoke.

 _Is this…what true love feels like? Does falling in love look like this?_

"So, it's like they're perfect in every way?"

"No, no!" Arthur laughed. "Of course, they're not. Everyone has their flaws."

Suddenly, Alfred's chest felt heavier and his face heated up as the sandy blond snorted behind his hand.

 _If it doesn't look anything like this, then…_

"As I said before, it's the flaws that make up part of the person. So even if you can appreciate the good things about them, you have to love the bad parts as well. If you can learn to love the bad aspects as well as the good, well...I think that's true love. It doesn't matter if they look like an angel or not, because appearance is only a part of it. And anyway, they'll look like the most beautiful person you've ever seen."

 _Yeah, that's true. And I'm probably looking at them right now._

"And I remember what you said…something about all couples having their fight. If you and your soul mate can survive those, argue sometimes, get along the rest of the time-that's good. If you keep up the guise of perfection, nothing's going to work that way. And well…having the occasional disagreement is obviously beneficial, because you're both looking from different viewpoints."

"But again," Arthur said softly, "Sometimes it's just fate. Sometimes you plan and plan for a perfect ending, but it comes more abruptly than you can have ever expected. But for this Deciding…if they can survive the palace life for a few months and still be in love with you, I think that's a good enough test for the both of you."

"You're right. I mean, after all the crap that we've been through, well…I'm surprised neither of you Elite have started an uprising just yet," Alfred chuckled.

"Might I take that as an opportunity to start one?"

"We'll see about that, darlin'. For now," he said, pulling Arthur to his feet, let's put this rebellion to bed."

"It _is_ getting late. It's all right if you don't want to escort me to my room, it's only a few metres away-"

"Don't be silly! Everyone is always in need of a hero," Alfred laughed, tugging him out of the room.

Once they got to the end of the corridor, Arthur strode back into his room. He was relieved to see that Anna had retired back to her quarters, and his and Alfred's time wouldn't be stopped until the very end.

"So…I guess this counts as a date?"

"A very _talkative_ date, I must say. Sorry if I rambled on for too long, especially towards the end."

"Huh? No, Artie, it was completely fine! I loved hearing what you had to say." Alfred amended quickly.

It was like the more Arthur spoke, the more Alfred fell in love with him. His words were like spun sugar, sweet and light to his composure.

"Well…I do hope you found it helpful. However, you are jetting off tomorrow to New England, right? I think it would be best for you to kip off before you collapse on your feet."

"Oh crap, you're right," the honey blond hissed, fishing into his pocket for his watch. "I'm sorry to have to cut this short."

"No, it's all right. But one more thing…umm, c-can I have a goodnight kiss?"

Alfred's eyes widened, and he turned his gaze to Arthur's bright red face. "N-not like I especially want one, you idiot, it's just that-"

Not giving him a chance, he tangled his fingers into the shorter teen's hair. Hearing his gasp of surprise as he kissed Arthur, the sandy blond determinedly pulled at his tie before letting go.

Giving Arthur a wink and a grin of approval as his cheeks turned burning scarlet, he closed the door and turned to go.

"Goodnight, Arthur," he whispered against the door as he felt his heart threaten to jump out of his chest.

"Goodnight, Alfred." Arthur breathed, pressing one finger to his trembling lips.

* * *

lol did you think i was going to let these two kiss without something dorky america is such a huge dork no way that wouldn't happen no _sir_

 _also happy birthday to the love of my life aph america_

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them! if you do i'll give you cookies pFFT


	38. Brothers

it has been seventeen days since i updated, _what_

to be fair, rewriting has really taken the juice out of me lol. but i've revamped the first three, so do check them out and tell me what you think!

i'm very sorry for the long wait for this chapter, but we get a nice chapter with the NA bros!

i promise i'll respond to everyone's comments next chapter because it's 11pm and i really didn't want to put this off any longer ^^

 _finally,i still don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively. disclaimer for...well, brothers and my pokemon go addiction_

* * *

"No, I'm not going to find it funny again if the Chancellor calls me His Royal Highness Prince then stops, shooting you a confused look," Matthew grumbled, folding his arms.

Alfred only cackled in response, taking a sip of his drink.

They had both just gotten on a plane to New England, waiting for the pilot to be prepared. Yao had just said goodbye to them, sternly telling them that they weren't to misbehave, like that one time they (Alfred) had accidentally poured apple juice all over the poor chancellor's second in chief.

"Did you see her face though? Man, I thought she was going to kill me," Alfred sighed, to which Yao had answered with a light tap on the cheek.

"Behave, you two. I'll look after your bunch, Alfred. And please, stay away from apple juice. We don't want another problem like last time."

"But what am I gonna drink? I'm-"

"Alfred," Matthew snapped. "I'm losing my brain cells just being around your presence."

"Your Highnesses, are you ready to take off?" the voice came over the intercom, interrupting the two squabbling brothers.

"How long is this flight, sir?" Alfred called loudly, folding a corner over his book.

 _A book_? Alfred never seemed to really be into literature before. Maybe he was missing Hero, which had to be left home.

"Only eight hours, Your Highness," came the deft reply.

Matthew gave an exasperated sigh, running his fingers against the ridges of his iron cross dangling on his neck. He'd tried to give back the charm to Gilbert last weekend, when he'd popped in (and dislodged one of his grey curtains.) But the Joker had insisted, and when Matthew had objected about it getting lost, he'd told him there was some sort of spell he'd put on it. Of course, he hadn't stopped there but Gilbert had kissed him and the conversation had just died. So had all thoughts of giving back the ring.

However, the ring itself wasn't on Matthew's second finger anymore. Last night he had forgotten to slip it off so then it became coated with soap suds, and that's why he wasn't wearing it. That, and…

The quiet whirr of the engines broke his thoughts, and he shook his head. He was off to New England for business. Devastatingly attractive Jokers and an impossible affair was something he would have to leave behind.

"Mattie, can I ask you something?"

* * *

Turning around to face his suddenly subdued brother, he shifted to the seat next to him.

"What do you need, Al?"

"Well…it's about the Deciding," Alfred began awkwardly, knocking his knees together. "And I kinda need your opinion on somethin'."

Matthew groaned, ready to toss a sarcastic comment at him, but decided against it when he saw Alfred's determined face. Trust his brother, the ladies' man, to have relationship problems.

"Is it about Emma again? Didn't you say something about wanting to choose her or not?"

"That was last week, Matt," came the response. "A lot's happened since then. Arthur and I have made up, and I don't how what he feels, but now I'm not so sure about her being a clear cut choice. I mean, there's her, but then there's Arthur and Alfonso and Sakura…I'm so goddamn confused."

"Well, you're bisexual, am I right? Yeah, we've got that on the list. But why would you go with Emma when you confessed to Arthur first? Seems a little weird to me."

"It's not like that, bro. I never intended to hurt either of them, but when Artie pushed me away, I guess you could say that I panicked."

"Was it your first instinct to go hitch up with someone else? I mean, you told him that you lov-"

"…I didn't, Matthew. And like hell I can do it now, because he'll run. Even though we talked last night, and I think we went farther with our relationship, I still don't want to scare him away."

"There is a fine line between precaution and denial," Matthew said, "And I have to point out in this moment that the both of you are passing it."

"What do you mean? He hasn't said it. It's not a thing until he tells me, word for word, that he loves me."

"UGH," Matthew groaned, "Can you two just _stop_ worrying over each other, and get your own feelings sorted out? If you keep on thinking he doesn't feel the same, blah blah blah, don't use that as an excuse for your own cowardice. Own up to it, Al, and confess that shit like a fireworks show."

"Bro," Alfred said after a moment of disbelief. "Bro, did you just shout?"

"That's not the point, you slobbering buffoon, it's the fact that both of you are so blind to each other's emotions, each other's words and advances that it's stupid. If you don't trust each other enough to recognize your love for the other person in the relationship, that's not enough commitment."

"…but what about the others? If I choose him now, then it'll be like-"

"Al, they still have the receptions, the magic trials and whatnot. There's still time."

"The advisors pulled me back last week, remember? They said somethin' about ending this before January."

"Al, that's two months away-technically seeing as we're nearing the end of November. Don't rush love. Screw them and listen to yourself. Even Carlos said it's stupid."

"Well, Carlos is one of the handful in our nominated court who actually cares about us and has his head screwed on for the sake of the country, not for the money or the power. So yeah, 'm just going to conveniently forget the others and listen to good old Carlos instead. But honestly, Mattie…I think I'll be ready before February, realistically."

"If that's the case, then you should start eliminating people. I'd say you should start with the people who you don't feel romantic attraction to."

"Natalya and I had a talk the other day. After that date we had in the armoury-"

"How romantic," Matthew scoffed. "You take her out on a date on our weapons arsenal storage room."

"Shut up! We had a nice knife throwing practice. But anyway, she asked me to kiss her and I did, but it felt gross. Like I was kissing you."

"I'm _swooning_ ," came the sarcastic reply. "But no, I'll pass."

"Ha _ha_. And so naturally I freaked, because I thought she would be disappointed if I told her that I felt for her more like a sister, but she pushed me off and told me the exact same thing, like she viewed me as a brother. And it got awkward in there _fast_ , and that's why we were avoiding each other because it got embarrassing. But now she's clarified that our feelings for each other are nothing but siblings, she's telling me when she's ready to leave. Don't want to kick her out before her time."

"Makes sense. What about Avie, though? Didn't she say something mentioning that topic?"

"I know she isn't here for my heart. She wants the crown, that little I know. But she, Natalya and Emma are the most popular. And I want to gain the approval of the public, honestly."

"Well…would you marry either of them just because you want to be _popular_ -" Matthew made air quotation marks "-with the public? Would you be willing to give up your love life and break hearts just for a short term-a short burst, really, of popularity?"

"Well, now you say it, no. Didn't I say something about not having an advantageous marriage, for politics instead of love?" Alfred said.

"You did," the violet-eyed blond replied, taking a sip of coffee. "I expect you to stick to your promise of marrying the one you love."

"…but do you think I should have dropped any of them once I made up with him?" Alfred ventured after a moment after asking for a milkshake.

"That," Matthew said, "is not for me to answer. Did you already have something with her prior to your little fight?"

"Little would be an understatement, but…I wasn't spending much of my time with her prior to the caning, honestly. I was working my way down my list, and the most popular just happened to be Leon and Natalya. But afterwards, it felt like she was different. Emma's cheerful, and I feel like she understands me, but…I remember you said something about my head being in the clouds too much. I'm wondering whether I need someone to bring me back down to earth or something. She's pretty, of course, but again I'm not the person to always judge by appearance. Maybe…opposites attract?"

"I wouldn't say that in the case of Alfonso, if you know what I mean. He was in the top three, right? Was it just for popularity's sake?"

"I think it was, in the beginning. But I don't think that it became for just that reason anymore, it's changed."

"He wants to keep your romance private, right? Like no one knowing about it."

"Well, he did say something about keeping it quiet amongst the rest of the Elite, but…he's not demanding. It's sort of like I'm the only person who asks him out on dates, not the other way around. Emma likes to pull me out and ask _me_ on dates, and Arthur sometimes lets me know if and when he wants them, but Alfonso doesn't go out of his way to ask me out, or do anything of the sort. But again, Marianne and Natalya are the ones who _initiate_ the dates, so I'm not sure whether I'm looking for a medium of the two. I am making a point to ask him out on more dates, though…"

"What about Sakura, then? I remember you being so very taken with her in the beginning. Any new, dramatic leads?"

"Not really. She's been the most stable out of the four who aren't here for the crown. To be honest, I was worried about a potential language barrier, because she asked for lessons on the first date, but now I don't think that's the main issue. It's the fact that…she won't let me closer. It's like she's the least comfortable with the whole Deciding process."

"At its core, the whole thing is a little messed up," Matthew said. "To be honest, if you and the person you love survive this, then the two of you really can overcome anything. But what were you thinking when you went into the process, anyway?"

Alfred gave him a levelheaded stare, but his hands were giving away his cool stance. His fingers ran over his knuckles as he spoke.

"…Ludwig and Feliciano's fairy tale."

"Oh," he replied, nodding along. It was true; the love that had grown between the young Prince of Hearts and the artist's son was nothing short of a legend, even all around Cards. "Well, the only issue with that was that Feli wasn't anointed Queen."

"Ludwig didn't want to cause any internal debates within his cabinet, or pressure Feliciano. Gilbert was only a stand in until Feliciano was ready to take the role, but…as you know, that never happened."

"I think that the pair did well as just King and Jack when Gilbert managed to appoint an Ace before he had to transition into the Joker role. He was only allowed to take either role for five years, which is a shame, eh? But he did mention something about Katya being alone in her Joker duties, so he was relieved that he could help."

"Has he? I don't think I've remembered that bit in any recent conversations we've had," Alfred trailed off, looking at his twin with a quizzical expression.

 _Oh, Duchess,_ Matthew panicked. _This can't be how he finds out_.

"I don't think it was a recent one…probably somewhere as old as our sixteenth birthday party," he laughed, desperately hoping that Alfred couldn't hear the slight shake in his voice.

To his relief, his brother seemed to have his oblivious switch on, and he nodded and muttered something that he barely heard, other than the ringing in his ears and the pounding of his heart.

 _Gil? Gil, I'm sorry, I won't do that again, I swear._

"…so, with Ludwig and Feliciano, can you give me a rundown again? I didn't really watch the whole coverage thingy."

"Who asked you to run around the palace to Mom and Dad yelling _ew I don't like this mushy stuff_? Last time I checked, it was the more stupid twin, and that's not me." Matthew growled, but decided to turn down the lights and close the windows on the airplane.

"So, you wanna start from the beginning?"

"Well, if you wish."

* * *

"So, let's start with-"

"…hey, remember when Ludwig _really_ didn't want his Deciding? He wrote to the council an-"

"You know what? _You_ say it. That's your bedtime story for the night."

"Well, I remember that he must have had eyes for Feliciano in the beginning," Alfred mused as Matthew asked for some blankets as the plane's lights started to dim.

"Oh? How so?"

"I don't know, really. He told me that he was going to go for those ones with powerful families, or those whose holding facilities were in Hearts. But again, Feli's one was Diamonds, right? So that definitely mean they didn't go out on a date for a while. So maybe he kept him around just to see what would happen, or he was interested in him from the start."

"Didn't Ludwig mention something about their first date being outdoors?"  
"Feli was teaching Lud how to paint," Alfred chuckled. "It's sort of their thing now. Lud said something about them painting their dogs so frequently that they've used a spare room for storing those paintings. But after once of those painting dates, Ludwig was kissing Feliciano goodbye, and he noticed his neck was getting pretty _hot_ , then he checked and bah boom there it was! Then three weeks afterwards, they had their coronation. Do you think it's going as smoothly for their current Deciding that it is for us?"  
"Definitely," Matthew said, turning over onto his side. "I'm almost certain they've almost, if not already, finished their Deciding. The mark appears regardless of their personal feelings, which is strange since the Hearts Kingdom favours the customs of the Deciding the most out of all the kingdoms which have elected to perform it."

"But then who does it go to?"

"Well, once it's narrowed down to the Elite, it has a chance to appear on a candidate that they find most suited for the job. But the chances of it appearing that early on a person are almost astronomical."

"The Fates tend to choose quicker with every person that's eliminated-at least, so I heard. Ludwig tells me about this stuff the most."

"But then, how does ours work so differently? It only ends when you choose. Do the Fates have any say in it at all?"  
"...if I don't believe in the person I choose one hundred percent, the mark won't appear. Ever. So basically, if I put on a front, we won't have another Queen unless you or Yao have a child."  
"Don't put on another one of your pointless fronts, Al." His brother's tone had softened somewhat. "You're fine as it is."  
"Do I?" Alfred's voice had taken on a defeated lilt. "Remember when they yelled at me for ten minutes straight for offering increased aid to Clubs?"

"Well, you and King Ivan have never gotten along, but you really do have to stop meddling in everything. Clubs have never really accepted our help, anyway. Some things you just have to keep out of."  
"But I just want to _help_ ," Alfred replied, his voice getting thick. "And I don't know why people think I'm being nosy."  
"You _are_. So you really do have to stop, sometimes. I hope that you won't scare off someone with your personality. But at least one notices you. They barely see me, anyway."  
"At least, once they see you they get along with you almost instantly! Forget you being jealous of me, I'm jealous of you! If you held a Deciding, you'd be long finished with it already!"  
"You don't know goddamn anything about my supposed love life," Matthew replied sharply, the sound cutting in the dark light of the plane.

"Don't you feel inclined to love someone now?"  
The blond scoffed in response. "Looking for someone new to love is nowhere near my to do list. And I don't think that the best way to find someone to love is by a Deciding. Shouldn't someone find his or her soulmate by their own terms? Love is never safe, you know. It's the danger that makes you fall in love with them."

He swore that he could almost feel Gilbert's warm breath on his cheek for a moment as he spoke. It was probably his conscience more than anything, but the supposed heat was comforting all the same.

"…are you sure you're not in love with anyone right now?"  
The denial came as easily as water off a duck's back, but the guilt was a little harder to process. After all, why was Alfred asking all these questions about his love life? His one was so much more crucial at this point in time.

"Enough talk about me, already. What about your one, right now? Are you ready to choose the person who you _genuinely_ love?"

"I don't think…I think I have to say I've got too many backups."

"Backup love interests? Come on, Al, you're not so much of a jerk that you'd go for one of them if the one before didn't say yes. And wouldn't that technically be another mask?"

The honey blond exhaled, and Matthew could hear him shuffling around in his seat.

"They won't say yes. I know that it's too early, but…I'm scared to confess. I don't want them to run. What if they won't stay with me this time?"

" _Both of you are going in circles_ ," Matthew hissed as loudly as he could. "What if they love you? You haven't told them, so why should they? I know you mentioned something about wanting to be honest with each other, but of course both of you are scared."

"…gotta say, I've never really thought about it before like that."

"Honestly…I think this trip is going to be good for the two of you. Both of you-or even the others that you _know_ you love-could use some time away to figure this out. I mean, after the reception there's going to be an elimination, right?"

"I want to end this soon, Matt. And…and I swear, when the time's right, when I'm sure they won't run, I'll tell them everything. Everything, from Mom and Dad, to…you know."

"Won't they be upset about that? You really can't do anything about them until you're crowned. And that's not until they're expecting an heir."

"Actually, I was thinking about adoption with them. I don't want to cause unnecessary pain, because the magic involved is…well."

"You don't really have a choice in this issue, because the firstborn has to be biologically from the two of you, male or not," Matthew said. "But if it's a toss up between Emma, Alfonso, Sakura and Arthur, I really can't help you in that part. It's up to you, really. But you really have to follow your heart, bro. And if you hold back too much…he'll be gone, before you know it."

Lowering his seat so that he got more comfortable, the conversation faded into soft, light breathing.

Until Alfred started to snore loudly, that is.

* * *

pokemon go has taken over hong kong

seriously everywhere i go people of all ages and genders are just clutching their handhelds and sloppily swiping up it's so funny lol (TeamMystic)

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!

finally, i _apologize greatly for the long wait OTL_


	39. Second Players

i'd like to first start off with an apology! there were lots of technical issues that had me pulling my hair out but no problem. but this chapter was late, so i'm very sorry! however, there's still something i'd like to ask everyone for help with, so please bear with me!

since the summer holidays, i've been able to put away time for the development of the fic as a _whole_ , which includes: **rereading source material to help me configure my plot (which is like...3% of my time tbh), adjusting the plot according to your suggestions and just improving the quality, writing the omake (which was because this story hit 200 reviews), actually writing new content, and rewriting old chapters.**

the last one only came around a month ago, when i got in touch with a network of super amazing authors that were kind enough to give me lots of hard criticism. since then i've scrapped and rewrote _four_ chapters (!) completely. but here's the problem - rewriting these chapters is taking up most of my time, so that i only have a little bit afterwards to write brand new content for the fic. in fact, i checked today, and i just realized there's only three prewritten chapters left for me to update this story with. _EEP. In writer and reader speak, that_ **is not good.**

So here's what I'm asking: do you guys want me to continue with writing new chapters? will you reread the old chapters to see the new, better chapters? should i finish the story before rewriting? should i take the rewriting slow and not go through the whole fic until i'm done with writing, and just do the first few? i would really appreciate your opinions on this, thank you!

after all, this fic would definitely have not gotten as far as it has it without all your support! we've reached _251_ reviews, and that is _mind blowing_! never in my wildest dreams would i thought i have reached this milestone. you have my deepest gratitude :)

i'm very sorry, but after this huge A/N i don't think anyone'll want to read replies ;; so they'll be next chapter, I promise! it's my way of thanking all of you that leave reviews, and this doesn't mean i'm appreciating them any less.

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

The next morning, the three of them gathered in Emma's room, pulling out their outfits and trying them out for the first time. Alfonso had done most of the designing for the overall event and for the clothes. He thought that it would be interesting if they incorporated elements from the Chess Lands into their reception. So obviously, he asked Arthur which handed over seven pieces of loose research-

-which is why they found themselves doing their final menu preparations in loose skirts instead of their usual attire.

"Don't lift your leg so high, Alfonso! You designed these things, so I thought you would be a pro on wearing them," Emma coached as he nearly tripped again. Arthur snickered, gathering his skirts before placing his crate of candlesticks down on the floor.

"Arthur, why did we ever agree to do this? You and Emma do it fine, but I prefer my pants! Do you wear skirts as much as her?" he whined.

"You do know it's more accepted than not to wear skirts around here than not? And of course I don't wear them as much as Emma, I only wear them on weekends on occasion and such! Can't help the fact that I'm naturally nimble," Arthur laughed, shaking his head.

"The guys in the Chess Lands do it a lot more, and they're _still_ super hot, if I do say so myself," Emma teased.

"It's pretty manly to them anyways based on their history, so belt up and help me with this cloth!"

"Do you think the black and white theme was okay? I mean, it might look slightly bland compared to the colour scheme they used for the Andantinos. The gold's a good accent, right? I didn't want it to be too heavy, after all."

"Arthur, you've gotta stop stressing! You and Alfonso collaborated well on that bit. The band's acoustics you picked out are cool as well. Good job, you two-ohy, Alfonso, you're not seriously going to use your magic for that purpose? If you do that, the crate's going to fall over and I don't want wax all over the carpet."

"Well, we do have magic tests after this, right? I mean, that's what we have to do before either of us could be chosen as Alfred's partner."

"Yeah, and the Queen as well! _Imagine_ , being queen. All the glamorous dresses, all those balls, meeting all those new people, being with Alfred all the time…" Emma said dreamily, her slight annoyance with the rest of the group quickly forgotten.

"But doesn't the role of a Queen come with a lot of responsibility? Such as, you know, organizing said ball?" Arthur said cynically, turning the page on a colour swatch book. "You're going to be the only one that's choosing the colour of the tea towels used, you know."

"But isn't that all worth it when you get to marry Alfred? He's worth the jump alone."

"What jump?" Alfonso asked, setting down the crate to join in their conversation.

"Every time you fall in love, you jump. It's sort of metaphorical, I guess but oh well. Sometimes you hit water, sometimes you fall onto the rocks, but there's this one time that someone catches you down there. But that's one of the hardest jumps you'll make, because you've been bruised and battered from the ones before. It's worth, it, though, because the person you love is waiting down there."

"…Emma, how much would you say you love him?"

"Can you even measure that?" she said softly, the three of them curling on the floor to get comfortable. "It's not some grand love confession that's going to come out of my mouth, I just love him. Simple as that."

"I do as well," Alfonso said slowly. "I just don't want to tell anyone that I've confessed, but the two of you will keep my secret, right? I want to keep our relationship under wraps until yeah, stuff cools down. But Em, how did it happen so fast for the two of you?"

"It was…a whirlwind, honestly. He's just perfect, and when he finally saw me in that light, like someone he could actually love, I jumped for it. It was a whirlwind, but I think it was more a huge spark in the beginning."

"Aren't you afraid of burning out sometime soon? The flame, I mean. When you get it at first, doesn't it burn out?"

"Honestly, Arthur, there's not really that much to be paranoid about. I know that I love him, and that's all that really matters. I'm sure he feels the same about me, as well."

"It's a good thing that you're so confident," he replied. "I wish I was as bold with my relationship with Alfred as you are."

"At least the two of you are pretty outspoken about it. I've only told you two about what happened with him, on terms of confessions."

"Me, outspoken about our relationship? Definitely not," Arthur said, running his fingers over his wrists.

 _Sorry, Alfonso-you as well, Emma. I would tell the both of you, but…_

"Yes, well…at least we know some basic things. Alfonso's kept us all in the dark," Emma laughed, touching her friend's hand in almost a soothing gesture.

"It's just the way I want it to be." he shrugged, but lay flat out on the floor, his eyes following the intricately painted ceiling. "But do you think he's going to choose someone soon?"

"Yes," Arthur said. "At least, there's going to be another elimination after the receptions, if not a double elimination. I think it was mentioned someone with the worse reception would be going…?"

"Well, all three of us should be staying in the palace," Emma said determinedly, jumping back to her feet. "So let's get back to work!"

The next few days passed over in a flurry, and before he knew it Anna was handing him a simple red shirt with a bowtie and jeans on the morning of the Andantinos' reception.

"Wait, we're dressing for the reception, right? They've picked them out?"

"Yeah," she said casually, turning away so that he could change. "Apparently they favour a simpler look. They're not the kind to adopt a monarchy and all the glamour any time soon, so we're not supposed to be in uniform as well."

"Really?" Arthur said, straightening the flimsy bowtie. "Is that why the other maids wanted to work out?"

Anna laughed, yanking off her maid's cap so her brown hair tumbled down her back. "Must say, it's a very welcome difference, at least for today."

"I don't know, I'll try asking Alfonso and Emma if we can let everyone out of uniform for tomorrow as well. Honestly, I was wondering why the Andantinos don't stay for a little longer, given their track record with Cards."

"You'll see later," she said, and with that she left the room, leaving Arthur thoroughly confused.

The ballroom that had been used for their Halloween party had been transformed into something slightly darker, with light reds and blues seeming to be their main colour theme. Sakura looked awkward in her short skirt, trying to pull it down, and on the other side of the spectrum Marianne seemed to be tugging hers _higher_ up _,_ but Avie and Natalya were talking comfortably in their jeans, the platinum blonde holding a clipboard as she spoke.

"You're late, you two," Natalya said exasperatedly as she surveyed Alfonso and Arthur walk into the ballroom together. "There's not much that you've missed, but it's just the fact that you have to branch out and greet them like they're our old friends. One more thing…they might be a little strange at first. Uh, not quite sure what we're expecting, but they're coming here and-"

A gaggle of guards ran in, still clad in their guard uniforms, but the heavy _clump_ of boots against tile made everyone pause in their tasks.

"This would be a good time to _get-in-line_ ," Marianne hissed from behind her gritted teeth.

Alfonso and Arthur decided to sneak to the back of room and hide under a large table covered with black fabric.

"They don't have any flowers, and the whole thing's slightly plain," Alfonso commented nervously. "Were we wrong to plan that bit out?"

"Well…we've been asked to wear pretty casual clothes today, so it's probably their culture more than anything else. For now, I think the flower arrangements are fine."

The other boy sighed, absentmindedly rubbing a finger across his mole.

All of a sudden, however, there was a thud and the guards fanned out to reveal the emerging officials.

A man with tanned skin and dark hair strolled in, a menacing baseball bat embedded with nails stuck into it slung on his back. He could hear Avie audibly gulp.

"Hi, everyone, let's get this party started! Where's my porkchop? I need to give him a fucking _hug_!"

" _Language_ , Allen!" a voice protested behind him. It belonged to one of the advisors and the president's apparent partner, who had pastel pink hair and pale eyes. "Get back in line first, you manchild."

"For once, Oliver's right," a man with dirty blond hair sneered, looking noncommittally bored as Oliver gestured to Allen with a jar full of coins. "Get your filthy rump to the line where it belongs."

"Can all of you just shut up, especially you, James?" a man with choppy black hair shouldered his way to the front, wearing a suit and tie. "We're here for business, not to pose as your own freak show. Please excuse Allen for his rowdy behaviour," he said smoothly, turning to the royals, where Allen was dropping a small copper coin into the jar with a grumble. "He has a complex that leads him to believe that he's the true President of the Andantinos. Fortunately for the rest of the world, he isn't. It's nice to meet you, your Highnesses," he said, taking a bow. The rest of the ballroom followed suit, and there was an awkward silence until the Jack rushed in, looking perplexed.

"Sorry for the hold up, Yang, we had a little mishap in the kitchen. Try to keep Oliver out of there," he said as the two bowed to each other. "Welcome to Spades."

"Our pleasure," the group replied in uncanny chorus.

"Well, that was an entrance, to say the least," Avie muttered, rubbing the back of her neck. After she had composed herself, she turned to the guests, who milled about the room (after being politely asked to put down their weapons, of course).

"Tea?" she said with a polite smile.

Oliver eagerly started towards the cup, but Allen looked awkwardly confused.

"Uh, do you have tomato juice on hand? I'm a vegan, you see."

A tall man with brown hair and a man with sullen purple eyes groaned in unison.

"Aren't Luciano and Kuro coming along this time?" Yao asked, putting down his fork and knife.

"Viktor said they had something to do," Yang replied, as to which Viktor acknowledged with a grunt, pulling his brightx purple scarf tighter around his neck.

"Mathieu and Lutz as well. Something about a yearly census," Francois commented with the same sullen eyes. "Taking time off work, if you ask me."

"You just know that he's trying to take time off, the little cinnamon," Oliver giggled. "But he _knows_ that won't work on me anymore."

"Didn't Flavio," Francois commented lazily, "mention something about him touring the country with his little cats?"

"Naturally. Spoiled rotten, those things are. Even more than your little red raccoon thing." Viktor laughed, in a taunting tone.

"It's a _red panda,_ but, well…" Yang gave him a threatening warning glare. "Who are the group of four that graciously hosted-well, are hosting us?"

"Good question," the Jack sighed, turning to where the Elite were all wandering around the ballroom. "Marianne, Sakura, Avie, Natalya? They wish to have your company."

The four girls straightened up instantly, Sakura breathing out an 'oh, no' before Natalya squeezed her hand once. The four of them then made their way over to the largest table, trying to spread themselves out to talk. Natalya and Avie seemed to be shooting signals between each other at breakneck speed, trying to fend off multiple questions from the group, while Sakura hovered around the Jack and Yang, stuttering as she spoke. Marianne crossed her arms and kept her mouth shut, reacting only occasionally to questions directed specifically at her, or agreeing with something with a muffled 'yes' or a nod.

"Do you think they're having a good time?" Emma asked, adjusting her dark headband. "Natalya and Avie look more at ease than Sakura, for instance."

"To be fair, they look like a pretty scary bunch. I wonder who's the president, if Yang said Allen wasn't."

"I would say Yang, but...I don't think he is the type, honestly."

"He's the only one wearing actual formal wear," Arthur pointed out, examining a pastry sitting on top of a very decorated table.

"Well, maybe the others didn't care to, uh, dress up for the occasion. And we're not exactly in fancy dress."

"True. Do you think that they-Yao, I mean-take off points for not preparing a flower arrangement of some sort?"

"Possibly. Do you think there's someone else that helps in the choosing process?"

"Yeah, other than Alfred and probably Matthew. Sorry, guys," Alfonso said awkwardly, rubbing his arm. "It's sort of strange to realize that Alfred's not really here, at this moment in time."

"You know, I wish he was, but at the same time I'm not. I mean, what if we mess up big time and we get an awful reception? He'll be kicking one of us out then, and it's going to be even more embarrassing if he sees it for himself."

"Technically, we've done the flower arrangements. And we have a nice band, unlike…well," Emma said, casting a confused glance to the empty stage.

"Do you just think they weren't that prepared? Or they had to ditch the flower arrangements somehow? Even if the Andantinos have a little less finesse, I still don't think that would have meant that they would be completely put off by the idea by you know, a few pansies."

"Ours aren't exactly pansies, but you have a point. We should branch out when the Chess Landers come, anyway, so that they'll be happy with our performance."

"But what if they're as intimidating as the Andantinos? I mean-" Emma began, but was cut off by a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry, doll face, we're not as scary as we look," Allen crooned, giving her shoulder a squeeze before kissing her hand. "Unless you cross us, we're the perfect gentlemen. Except Viktor," he growled, shooting an angry glance at the brown haired man. "But other than that, where's my porkchop? He would be ducking under a table at this point."

"Well, he had some business in New England with Prince Matthew. They'll be back in a week, if I remember correctly."

"He's really grown up, hasn't he? Seems like only yesterday the scrap was constantly pestering his maid for food and _eating_ porkchops. Well, then," the tanned man said, straightening his sunglasses, "Nice meeting you three. Good luck with your reception-tomorrow, I hear?"

"The Chess Lands," Arthur said curtly, raising a thick eyebrow.

"Aha. Them. Uh, anyway, best be going," Allen laughed, running his hand through Emma's hair, dislodging her hairband before making his way to where the other four Elite were entertaining the Andantinos-at least, attempting to.

"Well, _that_ happened," Alfonso said after a moment, the three of them watching him go.

"He touched my _hair_ ," Emma breathed, straightening her headband. Arthur couldn't honestly figure out whether she was being love-struck (again) or completely terrified of the man.

"Is it just me, or did he remind me a little of Alfred?"

"He has a cowlick, but the similarities stop there. _Porkchop_ , honestly?"

"Alfred comes up with good pet names!" Emma said defensively, seemingly giving up on trying to fix her headband and leaving it crooked in her hair. "He calls me his dear."

"He does that to everyone," Arthur said dismissively. "But it's nice of him, nonetheless. At least he's not naming you his cupcake or any atrocious variant."

"What if he did though? He'd call me his waffle, though."

"We're not _seriously_ having this discussion, are we? Know we're all love-struck and everything, but _waffles_? I've just eaten a chunk of steak, don't make me throw that up," Alfonso groaned, and the three of them laughed.

"Sometimes, I swear I don't know myself anymore. But what can I say? Love does crazy things to you. He just…makes me feel different. I'm not sure when that's going to grow old, but...well. It's like I'm a whole new person when I'm around him."

It crossed Arthur's mind to tell the others what he felt about Alfred, how Alfred didn't make him feel like another person, a better version of himself, but rather made Arthur feel more comfortable about himself. He made him feel like he was loved for who he was, and…he still didn't know how in the Fates he managed to do that.

"He's really something, isn't he," Arthur echoed.

Alfonso paused, rubbing at his mole, before placing his hands on his friends' shoulders in a playful gesture.

"Come on, guys, we shouldn't be moping about Alfred when he's not even here! The other group are doing their presentations, and we should enjoy it before we do it tomorrow!"

The three of them took a pause, then groaned in unison.

As the day progressed, it seemed to the rest of the group that the real threat came from Yao and his ever diligent eye, not the rest of the Andantinos. They were knocking back some wine (a jar of tomato juice for Allen, ginger ale that kept on making Oliver giggle while Yang demurely sipped tea and sighed at all of them), and interacting with the rest of the Elite and palace staff. At the end of the day, Allen had gone entirely tipsy and was swearing like a fiend (leading poor Sakura to cover her ears and blush intensely), Oliver wouldn't stop asking for the 'swear jar' and patting Avie's hair, Francois kept on laughing and toasting them with a flute of champagne and wouldn't keep his hands off either of his companions, Viktor was strangely (still) sober and cracking a smile that somehow managed to look even creepier than his glare, and Yang looked like he wanted to sock each of them in the jaw multiple times.

He still managed to keep a civil face when chiding (read: threatening) his fellow Andantinos to say goodbye to the others, and nodded to Yao as the Jack and him quickly conferred.

"Do you think that they're trying to talk about what the other team did?"

"Possibly. I think they'll do the same thing when we have ours tomorrow. You prepared?"

"Yes-but no," Arthur exhaled. "I think Emma's starting to stress out with flower arrangements again."

"Come on, guys, they didn't do flower arrangements this time. It could be our secret to winning this thing!"

"Well, to be fair, there _is_ an almost certain chance that someone on the losing team will be eliminated," Alfonso conceded, shaking his head.

"I don't want to go," Emma said as she watched Viktor pat a strangely unresisting Marianne's shoulder. "But do I really want to see anyone from that group leave?"

"Except maybe Marianne, no."

"No one's really liked her since day one. Except maybe Clare, or maybe it was because they decided to band together because they thought they were each other's competition?"

"Yeah, probably."

"I've heard that _she_ was the one to sabotage Sakura's date," she spat angrily when the other girl's name was mentioned. "I swear, I'll make her pay.

"But even though you don't want other people to go, Emma, people will have to in order for either of us to win." Alfonso blurted, fiddling with his hair tie.

"Of course I want to win! But I don't think it's just a simple matter of the term _winning_ , it's just the fact that I get to stay and love Alfred for a lifetime. Who wouldn't want that, anyway?"

"Avie," Alfonso said shortly. "We've been talking a lot, and she says…well, things. Haven't you noticed Natalya and Al haven't been talking for a while until recently?"

"True. Is it still pessimistic to say that this'll be over soon?"

"I guess, but you're abnormally pessimistic anyway, Arthur. It really depends _who_ he's going to choose. But whatever happens," Emma sighed, meeting both of her teammates' gazes, "Let's just make a promise to not be a bitch like Marianne and sabotage either of our relationships with Alfred, all right?"

"No sabotaging," the boys chorused.

Emma pulled them into a hug, one that Arthur tried to get out of after three seconds of awkward body contact, but failed miserably.

"Thank you, you two. I must say, other from any of the four people of Sakura and us, we're each other's biggest competition."

"Honestly, I feel the same. Now come on-let's just finish this reception and get ready for our own tomorrow!"

After the three of them stood there, waving goodbye to theAndantinos, Arthur quickly went back to his bedroom to find that Anna had drawn a bath for him. After he had finished, he'd thanked her and per their routine, she had left and Arthur had crawled into his bed, for what would surely be a very long day tomorrow

* * *

fun fact my computer restarted this page three times so i typed up the A/N and this three times, i goddamn love my life

thank you all so much for your support! if you could leave a review and favourite/follow this fic, it would mean so much to me and the development of this fic :)


	40. Reception

nyotalia! okay now that's out of the way it's the first time i've written these lovely ladies so please correct me on their character if i'm sorely wrong.

and oh my god the writer finally got a chapter out on time? _gasp_ but to be fair i wrote this on a friday morning so um excuse me

and thank you all so much for your ideas! i've decided to focus most of my time on writing new content, and saving the rewriting for later ^し^)

* * *

mailbox

 _pastaaddict-_ thank you! it was my first time i've written the 2P's so i hope it was okay!

 _lovexoxoluna_ -i know that feel haha, the first ten were _absolute cringe_. and don't worry, he will soon! i'm aiming to end this story around 60-70 chapters :)

 _hearthorse11_ -now you mention it, my last few updates have been lazy :/ sorry about that! and here's your review replies, thank you so much for waiting haha (and rooting for the underdog alfonso? i like it B)

 _russia says hello_ -i'm happy you liked the 2P's! to be truthful i wasn't really sure what i was doing because i don't really read 2P fic, so i just ran with it xD and that's a really good idea!

 _thisistheearth_ -alfred is such a _dork_. naming people after food. and i'm hyper saving to make up lmao

 _regine-_ this is how i would imagine it would go:

matthew: god why have you forsaken me

alfred: HAMBURGERS, SHAKES, ARTHUR, ETC

and yes, there will be _some_ prucan soon! muahaha

 _tey_ -thank you! more romance'll come up shortly!

* * *

 _cast list for this chapter! i'll put one up for the andantinos last chapter._

felicia-nyo!italy

louise-nyo!germany

amelia-nyo!america

alice-nyo!england (i feel some sort of... **resemblance.** )

francine-nyo!france

anya-nyo!russia

madeline-nyo!canada

julchen-nyo!prussia

(nyo!japan and nyo!china were omitted because they're already in this story oops)

* * *

 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for nyotalia!**_

* * *

To put it bluntly, Arthur still felt dazed as he hauled himself out of bed the next morning, when Anna handed him the dress that Alfonso had designed for the three of them. It was a flimsy thing, and it felt like it resembled one of the coats that Arthur now sported because of the late November climate.

"Well…at least they didn't make you wear pink," she laughed after a moment, but patted his shoulder reassuringly. "This doesn't look half as awful as I thought it would be, really. Boys wearing dresses are still kind of weird. Sort of."

"Are you taunting me?" Arthur balked, to which she snickered and folded her arms.

"Do a twirl? Not bad, but I think you're wearing enough blue for a day. Go with a purple jacket instead?"  
"I've refused to wear the necklace, honestly. I'm not going that far," Arthur grumped as he waited for Anna to pick it out from his vast wardrobe.

"But the worry is mostly getting-well, making sure that everything's all right. Alfonso and I have to worry about Emma panicking about flower decorations again."

"Well, girls are like that sometimes, but so are you boys. You'll just have to bear with it-is that a _bow_?" she said, straightening the droopy, pale blue ribbon.

"Have to say, Sir Alfonso's got some taste."

"Gah, don't remind me," Arthur laughed, but privately agreed with her.

"Now, Mr Soon-To-Be-Royal, keep your chin up and get good with this one. I'll ask for some strawberry pastries when you're done tonight if you can make either of Felicia's elite female court laugh. I'll add in some caster sugar if it's Lady Louise."

"Why are you so good at calming me down all the time?" Arthur said, reflecting on all the times his maid had helped him. After all those days, how could he see her as something inferior?

Anna winked, straightening out her petticoat before opening his bedroom door.

"Let's just say I'm a older sister to five little rascals, and that's given me enough practise for a lifetime."

* * *

"Emma, I can tell you're freaking out, but just don't-"

"Aaahhh," Emma gasped like a dying fish, flinging her arms around. "We look so _shabby_ compared to them! Alfonso, do _something_!"

The reception had just started a few moments ago, and Arthur already saw Emma's jaw drop the second they walked into the ballroom, glittering jewels and grace along with beautiful smiles. It couldn't have been different from the Andantinos, but it had overwhelmed Emma so much that they were currently huddling under a staircase, and Alfonso and Arthur were both whispering fiercely to her, trying to calm her down.

"Emma, we look _fine_ , but we definitely won't be if we continue to stay stuck under this staircase," Arthur snapped, "So let's just get out of here!"

"Hi? Is there someone, um, here?" A stuttery voice that Emma instantly recognized with a squeak that belonged to Madeline, the Pawn. "Julchen said something about, er, going to the toilet…"

"Oh, that's not a problem," Emma said smoothly, slipping into the role of the hostess as easily as putting on a shoe. "We'll find Julchen and I'll bring the two of you while Sir Arthur and Sir Alfonso will go back to the party," she said, shooting a meaningful glare at the two boys.

The Pawn smiled softly, and placed her hands behind her back as she followed the brunette back to the packed ballroom.

Even though there weren't as many guards and maids that the other group had invited last time, the whole of the Chess Lands court had arrived, most of them wearing clothes that were loose and comfortable to walk around. The two that were wearing slightly tighter fitting clothes were Amelia, one of the Knights with a blinding smile and wavy blonde hair and Louise with tight shorts and a long jacket to cover up.

* * *

And now, after half an hour, Arthur found himself sitting with Francine and Anya, the two Bishops. Francine was wearing a royal purple cape, and Anya pulled on her pink coat uncomfortably as they sat at a table.

"Climate is too hot," she said when Arthur asked her about it. "Was colder in Chess Lands."

"Do you want me to ask for a maid? We can get a small group of them to fashion something for you."

"Ah, no need," Anya smiled wanly. "Is very pretty here, in Spades palace."

Francine hooted with laughter, patting her back at Arthur's slightly confused expression.

"She's just recently picked up English as a secondary language when she was appointed to the Court. She's getting better, anyway!"

"Umm…I am just beginner, please, um, bear me-" she gestured uncertainly, then a light of recognition lit in her violet eyes. "-bear _with_ me, that is it! Thank you!"

Arthur gave her a genuine smile, and Francine patted her back in a rewarding gesture.

"The Spades palace is almost as big as our palace...are the men here as pretty as the land?"

Arthur choked on his wine in shock.

The two women laughed merrily, Francine taking a sip from her flute and Anya slamming hers down on the table loudly.

"How much has little Alfred grown? Is he a good kisser?"

"Am I even the suitable person to comment on that?" Arthur sputtered, his cheeks going red. Francine patted him on the back in a very boisterous gesture.

"He have this appeal surrounding him, no? Very, very…tanned," Anya said awkwardly. "Tanned is good in Chess Lands."

"You are only being too cruel to your fair skin!" Francine exclaimed, tapping her companion's wrist. "Your complexion is lovely. And you are right; he has those _magnifique_ blue eyes to match."

"They are lovely indeed," Arthur confessed. "…they didn't close the first time we kissed, and I have to say that I was a little worried."

"That's so sweet," Francine cooed, pressing her hands together excitedly. "Was he your first?"

"…Y-yes," the sandy blond stuttered. "What I really didn't expect from the encounter was that I would be, er, his as well."

"Romantic," Anya sighed dreamily. "If only love story always worked this way."

"I don't think it's been smooth sailing at all recently," Arthur admitted sheepishly, "He's been very interested in my other teammates, Emma and Alfonso as of late."

"Oh, love!" Francine sighed melodramatically. "It always works out this way, sweet Arthur, especially like this. We watch your little Decidings, yes? The prince or princess always strays. There is nothing to be worrying over, little one."

"Francine is love expert," Anya chipped in helpfully. "She is best to ask for question like this."

"…if you wouldn't mind, Lady Francine," he said, reaching out for a plate of candied sweets that the waiters were passing around and presenting the ladies with them.

The pair took them eagerly, Francine nibbling daintily on a lolly and the platinum blonde crunching them eagerly before covering her mouth in embarrassment at the loud noise.

"Ah, no problem at all! It is my pleasure. So, what about him is confusing you?"

"I don't even know where to start. He's…he's always trying to put on this perfect act, and I'm worrying that he's not being true to himself just so that he can make it seem like he's the perfect example of a person."

"…mask?"

"I would think so, Lady Anya, it's just that I wish that he would take it off and let me see the person underneath."

"Is this…mask on all the time?"

"I hope not, but I wouldn't say so," Arthur said. "It's just when our relationship is especially strained, or he's feeling particularly stressed, and, um, upset."

"He's probably asking too much of himself too quickly. Even as a child, when we came to visit him for our first diplomatic visit, he was…he didn't really play like a child should. I think that he gets upset because of so much responsibility directed towards him."

"He _is_ a prince, after all. We had a huge argument, and…I messed up so, so much," Arthur exhaled through his palms, looking around to make sure that neither of the Elite were around. "I thought he wouldn't forgive me, but, um, that happened."

"He love you? He must do after argument."

"He's never…said it, you know. Those three words."

"Oh," Anya sighed sadly. "Is shame. He must care, though?"

"We're both afraid," he confessed, taking note of Francine's intense expression. "And I would tell him, but there are so many things I'm afraid that he'll hate about me. He's been attached to Emma a lot as of recent, so if I give it all to him, will he do the same back for me?"

"So you're-well, both of you are scared, correct?" the brunette said, twisting back a strand into her bun.

"Yes," Arthur said after a moment, clasping his hands together. "But there's been…several moments where his romantic relationships with the other Elite make me feel like he's cheating on me. And I am quick to forgive him for that physically, but mentally, I don't think he really understands how hurt I sometimes feel."

"People sometimes don't notice. But that little boy has grown up to be this way? Shame," Francine sighed. "But then, is that not the core of the process? Prince Alfred may not have realized how much he's hurt you. But do you think you were wrong to forgive him so easily?"

"I had to hide my upset in order to get our relationship back to where we were, but now, well…I would want to tell him."

"Would you do this in an everyday situation?"

"No, I wouldn't. It's probably just the fact that it's him, and I'm trying to remain positive in his view. Am I trying too hard?"

"I don't think it's your fault. If he really wants a full relationship with you, he shouldn't take everything for granted. If he's very...well, if his behaviour is more oriented towards cheating than trying out his options as the process is supposed to be like, then you should break off."

"You do feel for him, no?" Anya piped up, looking embarrassed. "If it is one side then the relations improve not…"

"Miss Alice was in a…less than healthy relationship a few years ago," Francine said in a quiet voice, looking over her shoulder at the Knight, who was speaking with Yao. "She was completely infatuated with someone, and it took her an engagement to finally realize that he did not love her at all."

"Alice was very heartbroken, did not eat proper for days. We worried then."

"Considering the nature of this competition, you'll definitely have moments where he's forced to share his attentions somewhat. But if it turns ugly, and it's very obvious he doesn't love you at all or really wants to hurt you, get out of there. I know Alfred's a very nice boy, but we all have our downsides. If he can't treat you correctly," she said, grinning and reaching into her bra to Arthur's horror, "You can call me or Anya."

"Love to talk," she said with a gentle smile, "Not might be as knowledge as Miss Francine, however I try little."

"Your Ladyship…where has that slip of paper been, if I may ask?" he said nervously, tucking it in the bodice of his dress ( _ugh_ , he thought.)

Francine winked at him, pulling her cape tighter around her shoulders.

"Let's just say that no man's hand has been anywhere near this, except maybe you, little one."

"…I think you've just made me reveal almost all my darkest secrets in this thing," Arthur groaned, massaging his forehead. "How did you manage to do it?"

"Chat and drink," Anya smiled, lifting her wineglass. " _Nostrovia*."_

* * *

It was raining.

" _Duchess_ ," Emma shrieked. "I set up those marquees for _nothing_?"

"I even went to check the weather forecast, and it said it was fine," Alfonso groaned, burying his face in his hands.

"We could have worse, you know. Rain isn't all _that_ bad," Arthur said, but surveyed the garden with a critical expression.

The day had gone smoothly enough up to that point, with the band and the refreshments going well. To all of their surprises, Lady Alice had jumped on the stage with an instrument in tow, to which the other Chess Landers loudly cheered her on.

The three of them bunched up against the window, desperately hoping that their absences wouldn't be missed. Everyone, including the Elite, seemed to be having a good time, and Yao seemed amused enough as he inspected the buffet table for the day.

"How are we going to break this to them? We can't go outside for the event that we planned," Emma fretted. "Arthur spent lots of time on the entertainment part!"

"…well, they seemed to have taken matters into their own hands-" he began, but they were interrupted with a rustle of curtains at their back.

"Guys?" Avie's quizzical expression greeted them. "The Empress's asking for the hosts, and I'm guessing that she means that, uh, it's you three."

"Oh. Thanks a lot, we'll just be going then," Alfonso said, pulling Arthur along. Before Emma could catch up to them, Avie caught her arm and pulled her into a corner.

"Everything all right, Avie?"

"Yeah. Look," she said tersely, looking at the retreating figures of the boys, "Yours is better. The three of you made a good choice branching out with the Court. We should have done better with them, seeing that we're four instead of three.""Hey, yours was good as well!"

"Hey, yours was good as well!"

"You did flower arrangements," Avie said, smiling a little. "I think half of our team's preparing to leave the palace already."

"Leaving? How are you so sure that you're leaving?"

"Even if it wasn't me, I'd ask anyway. It's not just a crown that he has to lose, it's his heart, among other things. Can't you tell that he's kept his heart closer than anything this time? I thought you would know."

"How does that make it different from the other Decidings we've had before? Isn't it romantic based?"

"It's a little more romantic based this time, compared to the last one, at least from what my mom told me. I know I don't stand a chance if I don't love him romantically."

"Does he love me, though?"

Avie gave her a wan smile.

"Of course he does. Between you, Sakura and Arthur, I'm not sure who's going to win his heart in the end. Besides, isn't this a really messed up way of dating?"

"He's mine," Emma said determinedly. "And if I have to deal with this crazy system to prove our love, I'll do it. Anyway...isn't that what a girl in love would do?"

The brunette smiled for a moment, then patted her back, leading her out into the ballroom.

"As you wish, kid. You know so much more than I do, anyway."

* * *

"Your Empress, I'm so sorry that we didn't make much time to speak with you and Louise," Alfonso swept into a deep bow (the best he could manage with his dress), Arthur following Emma as they curtsied to the Empress."It's no problem, you have entertained the rest of my Court amazingly," she laughed, a pleasant smile

"It's no problem, you have entertained the rest of my Court amazingly," she laughed, a pleasant smile to her face. "I've never seen Anya fit in so comfortably with foreign consulates.""That would be my pleasure, Your Majesty, her English is coming on splendidly."

"That would be my pleasure, Your Majesty, her English is coming on splendidly.""That is wonderful to hear," Felicia said, the lights catching on the crystallite earrings that adorned her ears. "She has found it…difficult to integrate sometimes, but you have all made her feels so comfortable. Thank you."

"That is...lovely," Felicia said hesitantly before straightening her dress out again, the lights catching on the crystallite earrings that adorned her ears. "She has found it…difficult to integrate sometimes, but you have all made her feels so comfortable. Thank you."

"That is wonderful to hear," Felicia said, the lights catching on the crystallite earrings that adorned her ears. "She has found it…difficult to integrate sometimes, but you have all made her feels so comfortable. Thank you."

"Did you catch Lady Alice with the band? She's very good, isn't she?"

The empress laughed, removing her sole glove from her right hand.

"She's very passionate when she comes to music. It's good that she has something to get her mind off work. She's been feeling…constrained recently, and that's not very good. It's the complete opposite of our freedom ethic."

"Yes, I would imagine so. Is it because she has had trouble with romantic endeavours?" Alfonso ventured cautiously.

"…you've been speaking to Julchen, have you not? Her tongue is looser than others, and looser than what my personal standards are. I wish they wouldn't exercise our abundance of freedom with telling every little thing to a country that we haven't reached out to in months. Sorry about that." she replied, her expression suddenly turning serious. Her honey eyes darkened under the bright light of the ballroom, and it was obvious that they had touched on a difficult subject.

"We've already forgotten what happened, Your Majesty," the three of them said hurriedly.

"I like the three of you," she said after a moment, turning to the three of them with the same, easy smile. "Maybe either of the three of you would prove Spades to be a beneficial partner to the Chess Lands. We do watch, you know, and dear Louise loves to take notes. But what I find fascinating about the concept of the Deciding is that how the prince or princess is free to love, yet so constrained at the same time.""Is that why the Chess Lands have not considered a process similar to the Deciding?" Alfonso blurted.

"Is that why the Chess Lands have not considered a process similar to the Deciding?" Alfonso blurted.

"Even though I'm the empress, I don't think that I would be at liberty to really expose _all_ our values," she said, huffing in amusement. "But yes, even though the Chess Lands are a place of freedom, we do not allow our people to run rampant. But there are some things on this world that we are not supposed to 'play god' to, some things that can only be sought out by ourselves, no one else. And we believe that love, among other things, is one of those. I will not say that your people are not as constrained as the Diamonds and Clubs Kingdoms, but I will not go as far to say that your kingdom is as free as ours. Even I know that it is not our place to influence the young Prince Alfred, I know from experience that he has quite the pressure being the future King of a large country. The system might be flawed because even though that time period is tailored for one to find love, the…well, the royal might have more important things on their mind. Jack Yao did mention something about a trip?"

"To New England."

"Yes, to there. He's, what-nineteen, twenty? He's trying his best for the kingdom, the little saucepot. Whatever anyone else tells you, love is hard. And I don't want to tell this in front of the others just in case I'm accused of bias, but…" she leaned in forward, her tone dropping. "I just wanted to let you know that after these few months of watching you and finally the reception, that if you are chosen, I am confident that Spades will be in good hands of a good King, Queen and Jack."

The three of them sucked in a breath, quickly noting how serious the conversation had gotten; how the Empress had so jarringly reminded them of the duties that came with the title of being Queen, and not just the glamorous love story that came with being Alfred's significant other.

"Well then," she said abruptly, smoothing down her cream dress and standing a little taller, giving them all warm smiles, "Let's get back to the party. They'll be missing us, right?"

* * *

The rest of the reception passed in a blur compared to the Andantinos. Instead of hanging back and enjoying Francois's stories about his multiple war crusades like he had from the last time, Arthur found himself scurrying around with a plate of condiments and asking everyone if they wanted _yet another_ biscuit. On top of that, he kept on wanting to flinch from Lady Amelia, who was eagerly showing off her punches in a very dramatic storytelling while Lady Louise watched with the world's most exasperated expression. Then the dance (which thank the Fates, managed to move inside the ballroom), as in which he was yanked in fifteen different directions, the musicians playing a soft tune, which matched the drip, _drop_ of the rain outside.

"You've got some spunk, kid," Julchen laughed, running a gloved hand over a jagged scar that extended from her cheekbone to her chin, "Taking the lead like that."  
"I don't do well in social situations," he fidgeted, looking slightly awkward. "I'm sorry about that, Lady Ju-"

"Aargh, _stop_ calling me lady! Julchen's completely fine by itself, unless you've got a more impressive counterpart."

Arthur gave the intimidating woman a sheepish smile as they walked out onto the hallway, both of them wanting to get out of the noisy and heated ballroom (where a very drunk Sakura had crawled under the table and started sobbing about a hamster).

"Thank God you're so talkative, I asked this blonde and she literally stalked away. Or is it just because you're a host?" she grinned, baring her teeth in a gesture that inspired Arthur to become more intimidated than impressed.

"Well…it's the fact that I'm a host and I have to do a better job of managing a reception-and the fact that Lady Francine and Anya managed to get me to drink a lot of wine. My siblings say I'm a terrible drunk anyway…"

"Booze," she said dramatically, purloining a beer mug as they walked against the windows, where the sky was darkened with the night and the rain fell in light drizzle. "Man's greatest invention. Bottoms up, punk."

Arthur leaned against the cold window as he watched the rain outside the window.

"Hey, I'd like to thank you for the reception you put together. It's _awesome_."

"No problem, Lady Julchen."

"Lady?! _Come on,_ kid, I'm only around my twenties!"

* * *

"Um, if Lady Julchen flies into a fit, it's my fault."

"Come on, what did you do that made her so angry?" Two pairs of green eyes fixed on him.

"She's not very good with the whole 'calling her Lady' thing-oh wait, there's the Jack," Arthur said hurriedly, turning away from his teammates' confused expression.

"Well, at least we didn't have to watch the recap of both of the receptions last night," Emma sighed, referring to the Broadcast that took place yesterday. "That would be so embarrassing.""But wouldn't most of the embarrassment be focused on Arthur's inability to hold his drink? God, what happened last night in the afterparty?"

"But wouldn't most of the embarrassment be focused on Arthur's inability to hold his drink? God, what happened last night in the afterparty?"  
The sandy blond knelt down and began to fake weep, to the amusement of his teammates.

"You _really_ can't hold your drink, can you?" Alfonso laughed.

"The highlight of the reception for me was when you said 'Arthur, I appreciate you're drunk, but I would also appreciate you not wanting to fuck my bedroom floor.' Never mind the band, if we'd dragged you out they'd all be happy with the entertainment sector!" Emma chuckled, patting his back.

"I hate the both of you," Arthur groaned, but got back up and brushed off some invisible dust when the Jack reappeared, positioning himself in the front of the room.

"May all the Elite come closer to me, please…ah, yes, that's good. Suffice to say, the task was definitely difficult for both teams involved. Even though there are usually two people working on these sorts of tasks-me and the Queen-you all individually did a good job contributing and working together. I am pleased that both groups' reports coming from the Andantinos and the Chess Lands came back extremely well."

Sighs were exchanged around the room, and Arthur, Alfonso and Emma high fived each other. The strong sense of unity in the room reminded him that he simply couldn't have done it with either of them, despite their earlier frustrations.

"However, as we have previously discussed, the performance of both teams will lead to an elimination tonight. I've contacted both princes over teleconference and Alfred has made a decision after seeing them all, and I'll be delivering the results on his behalf to each group separately. First of all, I'd like the group that hosted the Andantinos to follow me, please?" the Jack instructed.

All four of them exchanged nervous glances, and then left the three of them in the Drawing Room.

"Honestly? I wish we went first. Don't have to wait doubly as long for our verdict," Alfonso moaned, lying across the chair.

"I wonder whether we did better than them or does that really not count anyway, now that Alfred's been judging us as well? Is someone with the worse reception _definitely_ going to go?"

"Well yeah, you do have a point, Arthur. Is the worst reception us, though? You heard what Empress Felicia said, after all. Are we right to be so, uh, paranoid?"

"Really, no," Emma fretted, biting her nails nervously all the same. "I mean, the Chesslanders really liked our reception, right? But maybe they were just really enthusiastic."

"But again, we had the harder set up," Arthur reasoned. "We had the new prospective alliance, less information about the culture in general, whereas the Andantinos had whole bookshelves to themselves-"

"-they were definitely noisier than them, that's for sure!" Alfonso joked.

"Undoubtedly, but they were really friendly."  
"Excuse me, but the Jack wishes to speak with your group now," a butler said, approaching them. There wasn't a sign of the other group, though, but they just decided to go with it.

A guard led them to the north wing of the palace, where the Jack was calmly waiting for them.

* * *

*Nostrovia is the famous English mispronunciation of _Na Zdorovie,_ a drinking chant in Russian. However it mostly means to thank someone for a meal, not actually the _bottoms up_ equivalent. I think. Please correct me if I'm wrong!

All right, a spot of trivia: the term Empress was used almost ironically. Because Felicia mentioned something about them being a freer country than Cards in general. I imagine the Chess Lands to be a collection of countries, so that means that Felicia and her Court have rule over multiple countries (like the British _Empire_ , etc.) but the typical rule of an Emperor/Empress is something resembling a dictatorship/imperialist rule, which restricts freedom. So Felicia's title is basically the opposite of what it suggests :P

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them! if you do i'll give you cookies

(also, 18,000 reads? thats _insane_ , thank you so much, everyone :')


	41. Departure

**emphasis on the T warning for an increased amount of swearing and rude names this chapter, due to natalya's calm swearing**

* * *

hi, everyone! i'm very sorry for the line repeating that happened this chapter, while i was editing this one the ffnet word service started duplicating the sentences when i began double spacing, so i'll be careful to make sure that won't happen again! so much editing though smH

sorry there's not much news this week (but that means a shorter A/N so good lol), except i'll do a tiny self promo: my friend tey and i have started a collaboration fic based on studio ghibili's film kiki's delivery service! of course, in no way am i abandoning this story, but it's a project we're both very excited about, so please check it out :)

but...i have school now. EW (hopefully updates wont be lacking cross my heart & hope to die)

* * *

mailbox

 _hearthorse11_ -it's on time haha! i really should do these replies sooner lol. and expect more cliffhangers soon

 _russia says hello_ -thank you very much-and you'll find out this chapter :)

 _lovexoxoluna_ -ok first of all holy heck thank you for your super long review! and i love your analysis! it's really interesting, and it makes me think about a lot of things that i haven't really before. i originally intended to write emma as the person without 'duties/responsibilities', and she was just there because she had a serious crush, etc, but i think her character's evolved a little than what i thought she would be lol. and yes, i love the two of them! writing the nyos are really fun and i'd love to do more of it in the future.

 _regine_ -notes?! omg im crying, and for your first point i agree! i meant for anna to be a refreshing character from the beginning! and thank you so much with your descriptions of the Nyos! finally oops, i didn't see your note about avie until i'd written the bit with her until afterwards, so i didn't realize it tied in!

 _guest_ -you'll see B)

 _pastaaddict_ -we're all rooting for the same one, i bet :)

 _thisistheearth-_ yes, it was so fun to write francine! i love her potential as a character ahah.

 _screeching harmony-_ thank you so much for the help, and i'm very glad you liked it!

sorry this was up late, i wanted to write decent replies! it's 12am but i don't really mind slowly followed his instructions, exchanged nervous glances as the Jack quickly shuffled through his papers before taking out a few sheets and turning to face them.

* * *

 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for someone leaving, and natalya's calm potty mouth.**_

* * *

They slowly followed his instructions, exchanged nervous glances as the Jack quickly shuffled through his papers before taking out a few sheets and turning to face them.

They slowly followed his instructions, exchanged nervous glances as the Jack quickly shuffled through his papers before taking out a few sheets and turning to face them.

"Ahem, well, first of all, you did very well given the one less person and other obstacles that made it hosting a little harder than the other group." He gave the group a reassuring glance, and Arthur relaxed.

"The ladies from the Chess Lands enjoyed themselves so much that a few members-well, mostly Lady Julchen-didn't want to leave." the Jack said, chuckling a little as he read through that paragraph. "They're definitely a funny group, are they?"

"They were pretty welcoming to us little people."

"One of you-no, _all_ of you won't be such little people after this is over. One more than the rest, eventually," he said kindly, pausing for a second before putting his notes on a computer that resembled the one in the room which Alfred had showed to him.

"…wait, so we're the group that didn't do as, uh, bad? I mean, we're not being eliminated, right?" Emma blurted out, looking relieved.

"Lady Emma, it's not very polite of you to say that," Yao replied sternly, "But yes, the princes and I have come to a conclusion that neither of you are being eliminated tonight. Someone else belonging to the other group is."

Arthur felt a seed of guilty relief lodge itself in his stomach, knowing that he would not going home after this. How embarrassing would it be if it was him and Alfred wasn't even in the country?

"That's wonderful news…but will we be able to secure an alliance with them afterwards?"

"Yeah! It would be great to secure an alliance because of our little reception. I think it would make up for me, um, not hosting the Andantinos one because that's where I have relatives," Alfonso piped up, looking a little embarrassed.

"Your guess is as good as mine, Sir Alfonso," Yao laughed, "But I won't be surprised if we've made some good progress. And don't worry about that-the placement was deliberate. I'll expect that we'll have more contact with them soon. But all three of you are to be commended."

"…but again, who _is_ going to be eliminated?" Emma asked, now sounding quite a bit worried.

The Jack sighed, pulling out his ponytail. "You'll have to see her yourself."

* * *

When the three of them got back, the other group were curled around a sofa, clearly trying to comfort the eliminated girl.

"I don't want to sound mean to the other girls, but I really don't want Sakura to leave. After all, she's still my best friend that I've known for the longest time, uh, no offense, you two…" Emma said as they approached the room."

None taken, Ems. After all, you two were friends even before this whole thing even started."

"I miss Leon," Arthur blurted. "I just wish…you know."

He couldn't betray the fact that he was still in the palace, but he really wished that the brunette could be seen in his company, not hidden away in the kitchens.

"…Avie?" Alfonso said quietly as they got close, and the three of them turned to face her.

She was visibly upset, rubbing at her eyes, but she didn't appear to be completely devastated.

"So, that's the end of that," she said, in what seemed to be a half snort, half sob. "Can't say it wasn't fun while it lasted."

"You're okay with this? I mean, you're losing the prince! The crown! Doesn't that all matter to you?" Emma cried, running to her side.

"It's never really been about the prince. Not about marrying him-or anyone else, in fact," she smiled slowly, "Hasn't ever been in my books. I just don't feel the romantic attraction that you all gush about all the time. The crown sounded like something I would really want, but honestly I'm surprised I even made it this far."

Marianne seemed to accept this with a bored expression, and Natalya nodded slowly, as if she'd known this all along, but Sakura looked shocked.

"You just…do not feel any attraction…at arl? Is that not sad?"

"Nah, not at all," Avie said. "It's just one of those things. It doesn't hurt me in any way, so why is it a bad thing? Anyway-do I really need a partner to prove my worth?""Well…" Sakura stammered. "

"Well…" Sakura stammered. "No. My sister…she is single for now, but she has expressed interest in dating. I don't rearly see much difference!"

"Then that's good for her! But I'm happy on my own….and when Al called us up on the computer thing, I told him, and he seemed happy enough. However…when people say that I wasn't good enough to win this competition, I'm going to prove them wrong. I have plans, and whoever wins this competition, I hope you'll be proud of me," she said passionately, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes."

"Of course we will!" Natalya cried, enveloping her friend in a hug. "You're going to be great, whatever you do. Who cares who wins, we'll all support you!"  
Everyone else piled in, congratulating and cheering her on as she laughed happy tears and thanked them over and over again.

It was almost as tearful as the first eliminations, but now the group was so small. As she left, waving happily to the rest of them as she went back to her room, Arthur found himself almost sad to see her go.

* * *

"Were you planning something?" Natalya asked, standing over Avie who was sitting on the mirror and currently having her hair done.

Night had quickly fallen upon the Spades kingdom, and Natalya had, of course snuck to her friend's room, expecting her to have some trouble packing because of the relatively short notice. To her surprise, though, Avie was ready to go, and after some intense interrogation she revealed that she had been prepared to go ever since their reception had finished.

"What do you mean, _planning_ something?"

"Dunno, from what you told Emma last night it sounded like you were planning to get a bunch of people out the palace.""What?" Avie scoffed. "You're just bitter that because I'm leaving you don't have anyone to talk to."

"What?" Avie scoffed. "You're just bitter that because I'm leaving you don't have anyone to talk to.""

"Of course it's not like _that_ ," Natalya bit back sharply, but it was obvious that the other girl was holding back a laugh.

The two continued to talk cheerfully, however muted their tones were. Avie had ordered her maid to go back to her room so that the two of them could spend some time together, but Avie already could see her carriage waiting outside beyond the gates of the palace.

"Don't _leave_ me," Natalya groaned as she tugged on Avie's loose hairs, arranging them back into her familiar braided bun. "Emma's going to go off on me about how picture perfect her relationship with Alfred is, _again_."

"She's just a girl in a lot of love," Avie said, almost fondly. "I won't hold it against her. She'll mature real soon, I hope. Alfred might appreciate some of her ditz."

"Pah. Kid's not a fucking softie." Natalya scoffed, but detached the last of the hairpins held in the corner of her mouth to tuck in Avie's hair. "Maybe he's ditzy as well as she is."

"They're happy for now," Avie said, patting her bun before hopping off the chair and straightening her dress. Natalya stuffed a handful of furs into her chest, before putting on her snowy coat for them to go outside. "Write soon, despite your brother-"

"Shush!" Natalya hissed, but her expression turned slightly sad as they approached the footmen who were already carrying Avie's suitcase. "If you ever want anything in Clubs, you know I'm just a note away."

"You're too kind, Natalya. I hope other people get it, I hope they get _you_. Don't forget," Avie said, squeezing on her friend's hand before letting go.

" _I_ definitely did."

* * *

 _Meanwhile, an ocean away, night is about to fall in the country of New England, where two royal brothers are talking…_

"Well, that was a complete disaster," Matthew growled as he threw back his bed sheets, in a very, very uncharacteristically bad mood. "What do you want from me, anyway?"

Because of the New England government's lack of funding, the royals had been directed to one of the more higher end hotels instead of a private venue, so the two boys and a very tired temporary bodyguard did not have the help of maids to set up and get ready for their sleep.

Alfred shuffled around, pulling at his cuffs and his crumpled suit after a incident with the iron that almost burnt his fingers.

"If you goddamn tell me that it's about that meeting, I'm going to kick yo…make you shut up," Matthew replied, quickly remembering that they had to share a room.

"They shouldn't be increasing taxes! It's not right for the people!" Alfred blurted. "And I was right to speak up!""Stop being so fucking

"Stop being so fucking _soft in the head_ ," Matthew snarled, slamming down his beige folder on the table, wincing at the creak. "Their economy's failing. If they don't start taxation they're going to sink into the floor, and we're going to lose a trading partner and stand by when they collapse into recession. They've splurged so much on the wars and their tourism's taken a slug. Do you _want_ that to happen? Do you want them to self destruct because they didn't have any money?"

"It's still not right!" Alfred insisted. "Why do the people have to bear the taxes? Isn't it the opposite of justice?"

"Get your little hero complex out of your ass and think straight for a moment. It's how the world works. Do you know why we have the royal family while we're still a constitutional monarchy? We need _money_ to run the country, and reassuring the people that everything's fine is the most idiotic thing that's come out of your mouth this week. They don't even have a royal family to fund, to pay for unlike us, and they're already crumbling at the seams. Do you want that to happen?"

"…" Alfred seemed taken aback by his brother's outburst.

"Look, I know you're having a hard time right now, with the Deciding and everything, and I'm sorry that I got so angry back there." Matthew said, his tone softer than before. "But you really have to remember that you're a royal and that does mean that I have to be harsh on you sometimes. Not saying that you're completely soft on me, but if we don't show our maturity it's our heads on the chopping block and something important dangling in front of our noses. "

"Now will you _please_ tell me what else is on your mind?""

"You're terrifying when you're pissed." Alfred mumbled, after a moment.

"Ha di _ha_. If it's more Deciding faff, just tell me already."

"I want to end it earlier than January, actually."

"Oh? Any real reasons for this shift?"

"Not really," Alfred admitted. "It's just that if they yell at me, I'm…Duchess, I just don't want to go over that again."

"What? When was the last time they did that?" Matthew's tone had sharpened now, and he got up and paced around the room.

"Five months ago. When I proposed the dismissal of half the cabinet to save on costs. They…they didn't like the idea."

"You should have _told_ me," Matthew sighed. "Are they…are they healing well?"

"Yeah. At least…they can't shut me up for much longer. So I'm scared that they'll be wanting to do it for more, do it harsher before my princess is having a child."

"So _that's_ why you want to end it earlier. Are you sure it's nothing to do with…?"

"They told me to end it last week. After the magic test, there's a maximum time limit of three months, right? I'm confused, because if I choose the person then-"

"They can make you rush your choice, then you won't want to have children with them. Then, you'll essentially be under their control, then commit probable suicide then-"

"-hello, dictatorship."

"God, yes. No, _no_ , no to that dictatorship, but you're right, if you get what I mean."

"Personally, I don't think we can tackle this as just a pair. Even though it's an extreme scenario-" Matthew said after a moment, getting up from his armchair.

"D'ya have an idea?" Alfred said hopefully.

"Why don't we ask someone back in the palace?"

* * *

"Sir Alfonso? There's been a message over the telecommunication system, the prince wants to talk with you, apparently?"

"Wait, really? Uh, how do I even use one of these things?"

"Bring the clicker-I'll put it on the table, if it's all right?-to the button that's shaped like a phone…oh yes, that's fine. Ask Maria to come over and call me when you're finished."

"Thank you, Your Highness!"

Arthur put down his pen, alerted to the sound far away. Probably in Alfonso's room, the prince obviously calling him from all the way in the New England.

Slipping on his bathrobe that was slightly more feminine and loose compared to what he usually wore (ugh), he peered through the small crack that the door left, making sure that the hallway was darkened and empty.

"Hey, Alfonso! I would actually rather have this conversation in person, but too bad I'm seven hours away? No, there's nothing serious that I have to talk to you about, I just wanted to discuss about how your reception went."

"Is there something wrong? Oh Duchess, have I done something to upset them?"

"Duh! No, Alfonso," Alfred chuckled over the computer. "I just want to thank you for everything you did for the Chesslanders. Arthur told me that you had a good eye for decorations and stuff like that."

"Wa-wait, he told you that? He went out of his way to compliment me?" Alfonso's tone was almost disbelieving, and Arthur had to creep nearer just to hear the both of them closer and managing to catch a sight of the grainy screen.

"Uh, yeah! He's talked about you, Emma and Sakura, in fact."

"Can I ask you something about him?" Alfonso said after a pause..

"Well…go on, then," Alfred said, looking quite a bit confused from what he could make out.

"It's not…common for someone to go out of their way to compliment the others, right? But…he's been doing that, from what you remember. Do you think he wants to leave?"

"Well…we have our issues, of course," he said evasively, "but I don't think so. At least, I hope not. I mean, he hasn't outright asked me to let him go."  
"I meant, uh…what happened between the two of you since? Both of you seemed so happy, and we all thought you were going to choose him before long, but after Leon's caning, you two just drifted apart. I know it's not my place to ask, but are you all right? Are you ready to end this soon?" he blurted.

He could hear a long sigh come from the machine, and then the prince continued speaking.

"It's such a long story that I can't honestly tell all of it to you," he confessed, "But you're right. We had a huge fight then, and I honestly thought that was the end, that he was going to leave. It took awhile for things to get back to normal, and I still think that's a miracle. We fight a lot, right? I mean, we've had small disagreements now and then, but not a full blown fight!"

The two of them laughed for a moment, then turned silent again as Alfred's expression shifted to a serious one.

"But, uh, ending it. That's a little more difficult than I thought it was, because well, my advisors. Let's just say that almost all my pressure comes from them. I have to choose someone with brilliant magic, someone who looks relatively attractive, someone who can bear children-you've heard of the spell in Hearts, right?" he broke off, to which Alfonso nodded _yes_.

"That as well, and at least three billion things I can't remember. But a lot of people just tell me to follow my heart but I'm scared that my heart will lead me to someone who's either not ready for the responsibility of being royalty, or just doesn't feel the same for me as I do for them. I don't have as many options as I used to have, but I know that the person I'll choose in the end is for someone that loves me, not some other reason. I…I just don't honestly think that's right, because it would be cruel to put both of us in such a position that the marriage is loveless."

"Is that why you eliminated Avie tonight?" Alfonso pressed.

"I guess it was one of the main reasons. But she asked me to let her leave before you hosted the receptions, because she was worried about her teammates to lose out on their love if they hosted the slightly worse one. She didn't want any of her teammates hurt like that."

"She's….fragile, right? I guess she'll be broken hearted if you do in the end."

"I don't think I'll let her go any time soon. Or anyone, for that matter. If Lady Sakura would let me a little closer, then-who knows?"

"How many people here do you feel could win this? I mean, the crown as well as your heart? Who _really_ could, in your opinion?"Alfred paused in thought as the sound crackled for a moment, and Arthur held his breath, completely still.

Alfred paused in thought as the sound crackled for a moment, and Arthur held his breath, completely still.

 _Who is it? Tell me, please, before I get my hopes up._

"I thought there were going to be way less people than who I know right now, but yes. I guess in a way you can say that there is someone that I care for more, but I think we're still scared. We're not big on the mushy stuff, but yeah. Sorry I can't tell you who, but…" he trailed off, his blue eyes fixing on something in the distance.

"Can I guess?"

"...sure."

"I feel like it's Emma for now," Alfonso said slowly. "You two get along so well, and after the caning, you two were inseparable."

Arthur shifted his weight uncomfortably, understanding what his friend meant. Both Alfred and Emma had been very clear-cut about their feelings for each other, and whatever they had had was something very sweet and very genuine. Jealousy pounded in his heart for one moment, then he tried his best to push it away. Emma had been nothing but helpful to him since their first falling out, it wouldn't be right for him to hold a grudge against her.

"…Well, heh," Alfred laughed, and Arthur could detect the bashfulness in his tone. "I won't say yes, but I won't say no, either. My advisors find her very attractive, but there are others, which I honestly can't give up just yet. And, uh, Alfonso, don't tell, but you're one of them."

"You know, for a long time we all thought it was going to be Arthur, no fights, no arguments, no objections," Alfonso ventured after awhile, twiddling with the monitor. "Sure I guess I was pretty bummed out, but after I really, _really_ got to know you, I was devastated. I guess a lot of us have a good hold on you, and I wondered whether I should have even tried. I mean, I wondered if I could even get your attention. But…I'm so happy I did. But I'm sort of in disbelief that something could possibly drive a ledge between you two."

Arthur could see Alfred's golden hair (reduced to a pasty yellow thanks to the computer monitor) move as he shook his head.

"I can't-it's too confusing, the whole thing, but I wish I could change a lot of stuff."

And with that, Arthur slowly closed the door, not wanting to see the sweet smile, hear his laughter, feel that heartache before he came home.

* * *

The Drawing Room was feverish and chatty, but Arthur just didn't feel like participating that day as he brought a book into an armchair and continued reading. After they had seen Avie off, the group decided to gush about the prince and everything that he'd done with them so far.

"Aww, what a sweetheart! Did he really-"

"Um, duh!" Marianne smirked. "Said it matched my eyes and everything. God, it was totally an amethyst, though."

"Hey, Alfonso, she said you were calling him over the computer thing last night and you sounded pretty chipper. How was it?" Emma asked, folding her hands in a more ladylike manner than she had before, not before shooting a venomous smile at the other girl.

Arthur placed his book down and moved to sit near the larger group, shuddering slightly at the exchange between Marianne and Emma. Girls terrified him, sometimes.

"Yeah, it wasn't anything really that special, but uh…he just loves you a lot, Ems."

She shot him a confused expression, while Marianne shrieked once, looking outraged.

"Are you just saying that because she's your friend? Has he even said it out loud to you?"

"Do I even need that anymore? I'm not telling you everything about our conversation just because you're jealous! Everyone can clearly see she's got the biggest chance of winning this process."

"Not if I can help it," Marianne spat. "If he loves her so much, why hasn't he ended this and left us hanging?"

"No, wait, Alfonso," Emma said, her eyes returning from their confused state. "Did he say my name? Specifically?""He said something about someone he loved more than the others, but when I asked him whether it was you, he didn't say no, but didn't say yes."

"You can't…exactly say that it's me who's definitely going to win, then," she said, but there was the little glint in her eyes that betrayed her happiness.

"He has a point, though," Arthur ventured. "I mean, when he was leaving for New England, he was saying goodbye to you the longest. If that's not saying something…"

"But there _must_ be a reason why no one's won this yet," she insisted, but her argument was starting to have cracks as she wasn't devoted to them.

"Maybe it's you, Arthur?"

"As if. He only took a few moments to come say goodbye to me, anyway," he said with a wan smile. He couldn't betray that they had talked for hours on the night before he'd left, but the thought cheered up his prospects a little more. "I'm next, after Avie."

"You know what? Natalya, we're leaving. If the prince is stupid enough to choose from these three, I'm asking him to leave straight when he comes back," Marianne sneered, pulling on the platinum blonde's arm and storming out of the Drawing Room.

"Good riddance, you whore," Emma spat, and Arthur and Alfonso exchanged surprised expressions.

When had the other girl gotten so snappy? Emma had been one of the cheerful ones that seemed determined to make friends with everyone, so when did she get so antagonistic towards Marianne specifically? Arthur should be the person all angry and snapping, really.

"Emma, calm down. Alfred's coming home tomorrow, anyway. Do you think he wants to see us fighting right when he comes back?"

"She just insulted _him_ ," she sighed, running her hands through her hair. "How dare she get away with that?"

"The competition's definitely heating up," Alfonso spoke. "Maybe she's tense like the rest of us."

"She's high strung, all right. I _know_ she's the one who sabotaged Sakura's date, because who else would do such a bitchy thing?" Emma said. Her hands clenched into fists, and she got up from her seat and began to pace. "I know I shouldn't have said that, but doesn't she deserve that, after everything she's done?"

Arthur sighed, closing his eyes as Alfonso continued to try to calm her down.

"The competition's heating up, all right," he muttered to himself.

"And it's going to get ugly soon."

* * *

Since their receptions, the rain had gotten heavier on the days after. The light drizzle that had been a nice touch to the Chess Lands' reception had alleviated to a thunderous torrent, rain pouring down and confining the Elite indoors. Emma moped indoors, making small chat with Sakura, Natalya seemed glued to her newspaper, and Alfonso seemed bored as he watched the rain drip down the window and he played chord after chord on his guitar. Arthur had curled up against the window with a book, listening to the quiet steadiness of the raindrops tapping against his glass. He'd occasionally sing, trying to fill the alleviating emptiness the castle seemed to have taken on in the event of both of the brothers' departures. The Jack seemed to be relieved enough but quickly denied Marianne's clamouring to call him, sternly reminding her and subconsciously the rest of the Elite that the brothers were on a business trip and certainly weren't having much fun, thank you very much.

The next two days had become slightly colder, the Spades region quickly falling into the first week of December. Christmas preparations seemed to start exceptionally fast for the palace, when one afternoon Arthur noticed in the middle of singing a duet with Alfonso's guitar that a massive Christmas tree, towering all the way up to the ceiling with a star that didn't look overly gimmicky, had affixed itself in the corner of the Drawing Room. When Emma and Sakura invited them to help straighten out for the Broadcast, set for the night after Alfred and Matthew would return home, another large pine tree, a little smaller than the one in the Drawing Room, made its presence known.

"Arthur, you do know I have no idea what in the Fates I can do with your hair," Emma sighed. "It's just all so bushy."

"Like your eyebrows, pal," Alfonso laughed. "But is it okay if I pull out the little topknot?"

"I think I did ask you a few moments ago to do the hair purling," Sakura said. "Please do so. Er, now. I don't think it suits the occasion too well…"

The teen pulled on his weathered hair tie, but stopped short as another person made their presence known.

"If it's Marianne, kick her out," Emma snapped over Arthur's hair.

It seemed as if the past few days had blown a fuse between Emma and Marianne. Emma now was almost instantly infuriated when the other girl's name was mentioned. They now avoided each other like the plague and there were unveiled threats running between them every time they passed or were in the same room together. Apparently now, that extended to each others' friend circles as well, which meant Arthur was subject to more taunting. _Girls are sometimes very difficult to understand,_ Arthur reflected as he waited for the door to open.

But it was Natalya, a sheepish expression in her blue eyes as Alfonso let her in.

"Uh, is it fine if I join you guys? You looked like you were having fun."

"Thought you were too busy sticking with Marianne? After Avie, I thought you were improving," the brunette replied frostily.

The other girl simply chose to ignore this and closed the door, gathering her skirts and striding closer to the gathered group, her blue heels clinking on the surface of the ballroom floor.

"Look, I don't want to start no fucking fight," she said calmly, "But if you think I'm a lackey of that upstart mess, you'd better consolidate your choices and think again."

Emma bristled, raising an untrusting eyebrow, but Sakura placed a hand on her arm and motioned for her to calm down.

"Em, hush. I will rook after her," she said. "Natalya, I do not believe you would lie to us this deep in the process, so I wirl listen."

"Why would I want to hurt either of you? Do you think I'm Marianne's lapdog? That was Clare's job before she got her ass kicked out."

"But why wourd you follow her after that?" Sakura's brown eyes narrowed. "Do you know what she did?"

"First of all, I'm not following her. We're setting up an ally system so that means we won't sling at each other. Second of all-I'm sorry. About your date. I should have at least tried to talk her out of it. Marianne asked me about sabotaging Emma's as well, but…her methods are stupid. She's doing _everything_ she can to stay in this competition, and she would be as stupid as to make an enemy of you and Emma. That's a shitty low move if I ever saw one-and I'm not surprised she was planning to seduce Alfred that way."

Arthur and Sakura exchanged glances, then she turned to face Natalya again.

" _Look_. I'm not in it for my friends I've made in the palace, because other from Avie I'm definitely not the most popular girl here, and she's gone. But Marianne might do something completely crazy next. Hell, she might even turn on me next. But you guys are a community," she said, looking over them once. "But I'm here just because the only person wanting me to stay for a little longer here is me. I've even started fucking packing."

"Why are you stirl here, then?"

 _Because she's lonely,_ was the first thing that came to Arthur's mind. _She needs a relationship that'll stay with her until the end._

"…I've found a friend in the prince, let's just say. And, uh, that means a lot to me. Even if it's not mushy gushy and lovey dovey, it's still something that's important to me. But yeah, I'm going next. I was just, uh, walking around and saw you guys doing something fun, so I thought it would-yeah."

She brushed off some invisible dirt from her waistline, and turned to leave before Emma in a shock move grabbed her arm.

"Hey. I'm sorry about how I judged you before. Friends?" she said, persuading the other girl to stay.

"I've done a lot of shit before, and I have judged you as a shallow little airhead that couldn't see past Alfred, but that's probably done and over. But I don't think you'd want to be friends with me, at least not that quickly. After all," Natalya replied, turning to face them. "There's always a constant worry that you'll hate me more once you get to know me."

"Don't be rike that," Sakura said, patting the other girl's shoulder. "Things ri-like this take time. It's better than being lonely, right? Join us!"

Natalya faltered for a moment, then shot her a grateful smile and wrung her hands together.

"So…hair?"

* * *

yes, avie is _asexual_! i've really liked the headcanon of czechia being asexual for a little while now, so it felt fitting to put it in. :)

sorry this isn't nearly as long as the last one, it's very late at night, sorry!

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them! if you do i'll give you cookies


	42. Home

so, uh, hi everyone. sorry if this A/N isn't nearly as long as the other ones, it's because i've got school and, well, homework has been pretty much eating me alive. as a result, there isn't, er, as much time to write as i would have _hoped_ there to be. and since there wasn't as much love last chapter :( and my writer's block is being a lot more of a nuisance than it usually is, my prewritten chapters have...

...i just checked and there's only two chapters left i hate myself

* * *

mailbox

 _pastaaddict_ -they're definitely fighting now that we're coming to the end of this arc! it's fun to write scenes like this at times.

 _russia says hello_ -emma is getting some character deviation/character development! not sure if it's positive though lol. and so is natalya, though i think it's more positive! more coming soon for all three characters you mentioned, though :)

 _hearthorse11_ -muahahaha-and thank you, i'm honoured omg

 _thisistheearth_ -i guess this is one of the ways i'm trying to move away from the actual story becuase it was a lot more input from the general population, etc. and i'm actually glad you picked up on that, muahaha. that's the main point of the end of this arc, so stay tuned ;)

 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for only two main scenes, and your favourite twins again!**_

* * *

Milota - Slovakia

* * *

This wasn't shaping up to be one of Alfred's best Thursday evenings.

It was the first day of December, one of his _favourite_ months of the year, and he was stuck in a tiny airport, exhausted and crazy sleepy but _home._

It went without saying that that it was quite easily one of the strangest and most stressful trips he'd ever been on, much less on a trip to New England.

"That could have gone better for one of our first trips, eh?" Matthew said as they staggered into the coach after they had both stopped for a while to talk to the people that had welcomed them home. They had both thought that the trip was under wraps and it would be a nice, quiet trip, but evidently not.

"I just really miss the air, ya know?" Alfred sighed, taking a generous whiff of the familiar Spadian air and waving for the last time to a little girl with plaits. " _Boy_ , does it feel good to be back home."

"For once, I'm not going to argue with that." Matthew said with a small smile on his face.

Drawing the curtains closed on the blue carriage, both boys reclined onto the plush seat, grateful to be back in the lap of luxury. Alfred drew back a little bit of the velvet curtain on his side of the carriage to catch sight of the blazing sun, and breathe in the cool, crisp air of his home. Even though it was only a few days away into December, he could feel the biting cold in Spades already.

"If you breathe too deeply, you could swallow a snowflake," Matthew teased, noting his brother's dreamy expression. "At least we're home in time to start preparing for the Christmas celebrations…"

"Yeah." Alfred's tone was excited, but there was listlessness in his voice that made his brother pat him on the shoulder and ask about-and it definitely wasn't the first time in the trip.

Ever since his brother had been unceremoniously shouted down in the first day of their business trip, Alfred had been more subdued than usual. Matthew thought that it would have something to do with his dismissal and his own fury at his brother, but as the days wore on and the brothers managed to get more approval and appreciation for their ideas, Alfred still had kept quiet…at least, quieter than usual. Of course, Matthew suspected that it was because he was overexerting his mask that he usually put on for business trips-how many times his brother denied it there was an emotional mask he put on that Matthew hated-but the silence came from Alfred showing some unusual, uncharacteristic thoughtfulness.

He knew that his brother definitely had more on his plate right now due to the Deciding, his whole heart, _blah di blah_ , how difficult his choice was, but this time Matthew honestly couldn't relate to him. Of course, his own love life was riddled with troubles, but not in the way that Alfred's was.

He remembered something about one always wanting what they couldn't have, and Matthew constantly cursed himself on the inside for falling for the one person who he was not allowed to love. But once he met Gilbert, how _could_ he possibly manage to think of him in any other way than someone who he couldn't ignore?

Perhaps it was the unfortunate side effect of being mentored under the delightful King Francis of Diamonds, but only after a few months under his impressions he began to look at not only the very lovely Joker Katya, but rather her younger counterpart as well, the brash, wild, and _devilishly_ attractive Gilbert Beilschmidt.

He was one of the few members of the Primary Suits that frequently used his last name, grandly showing off his direct relations to the Hearts Kingdom. This meant he was valued twice as much as he was plucked off the throne to serve as Joker alongside Katya a few years before his brother started his own Deciding. As he remembered on the first state visit with the new Queen Lili, he remembered her musical, lilting voice and sweet face, but his gaze was snapped up as they watched the two Jokers welcome Lili to the Primary Suit of Diamonds. And even _after_ that, on his and Alfred's joint sixteenth birthdays, how Gilbert had stolen his first kiss…

…no, on second thought, _he_ had been the one to yank Gilbert over and the one to steal _his_ first kiss, Matthew quickly reflected as his cheeks flamed.

After the Joker's relentless persuasion and pursuit of him even after Matthew had tried to brush him off, how could he possibly even _try_ to ignore Gilbert after that-

"Mat _thew_ ," Alfred sang, shoving his brother's shoulder. "You've gone all red again!"

"Shut _up!_ " Matthew snapped, pulling furiously at his cheeks. His cheeks almost always managed to cool down after the action, but this time the colour dissipated quicker than usual as Alfred mumbled something else.

"The absolute what now?"

"Nothin', it's just…I guess I miss someone more than I thought I would."

Alfred was the one blushing now, and by his amazing, brotherly deduction skills Matthew could almost instantly detect whom his mind was on.

"Does this _certain someone_ 's name start with an A and end with a R?" Matthew said teasingly.

"No, his name's Arthur Kirkland, not-" Alfred rushed to correct him, and Matthew's suspicions were confirmed in one fell swoop.

"Aw," Matthew cooed to a hurriedly blushing Alfred, "I _did_ think so. I wonder if you do all the blushing around him?"

"No, he does it enough for the two for us." Alfred confessed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't think of that at all, though! Hahaha, the hero has fooled you once again!"

Matthew groaned and socked Alfred's shoulder in a half playful, half annoyed gesture. Was his brother's level of denial somehow _worse_ than Arthur, the absolute expert in blushing and refusing? It seemed impossible, but it probably was the case.

"Are you relieved to be back at home?"

"Yeah!" Alfred replied, a smile on his face. "Aren't you?"

"I suppose," Matthew said, trying to suppress his thoughts of Yao, Kuma, and, well…

"At the same time, I'm sorta relieved I left for a few days." Alfred confided. Matthew looked up in surprise, dryly noting he had failed to mention that it wasn't just him that had gone on the trip.

"Oh? Is there a particular reason, eh? Or are you just tired of Yao's nagging?"

"Duh…and no, I'm not looking forward to that!" Alfred huffed. "It's just that it's given me some time to clear my head about the Deciding. That's why I thought about ending it sooner.

"I see, is there anyone in particular you were thinking about?"

"Nah," Alfred shrugged. "I mean, if the advisers decide to put some more pressure on me, what can I do then? I want to start the magic trials as soon as we get home. Publicly. On the Broadcast."

"What?" Matthew's expression contorted in shock, and he made his brother look at him, intense violet eyes meeting surprised blue. "Alfred, that's insane. Not now. They're definitely going to do something."

"But if I want to end this sooner, I should do it now!"

"We've just come back from a pretty hard trip. They might dismiss you as just tired," Matthew said. "And there's them as well. Don't you remember me showing you the statistics that Yao sent us on Wednesday night? They're moving back down near the outer wall of Diamonds. They'll be here soon."

The rebels had almost been happily forgotten ever since their last nudge against the Spades palace because most of their forces had been concentrated on the border between Diamonds and Hearts. Neither Yao or the brothers talked about the rebels with the Elite because there was no immediate threat soon, but now there was _something_ that could be a threat to everyone there.

"Are they going to go through the Inner Circle again?" Alfred echoed.

"Well, from the statistics the Diamonds Primary Suit have shared with us," Matthew continued, propping up his circular glasses. "I didn't bring the pages, but Yao has started preparing things for an evacuation."

Alfred nodded slowly, then slumped back into his seat, fiddling with his glasses. Matthew watched his brother with concern; he really didn't mean to make his brother so dejected. After all, the advisers had been a problem for the two of them ever since they had come of age, but because he was the Ace he had less power and therefore less expectations of him. But Alfred, well.

It went without saying that he had the weight of the world-or at least Spades-on his shoulders. Some days Matthew thought his brother carried the weight well, but some days it took only thoughts of Butterscotch having to be tended to by servants, Hero trailing around the hallways of their offices to suspect that Alfred was having a harder time than he had left off.

Of course, Matthew had been jealous of his recognition ever since he was a toddler, but there was something awkward about his inability to make any real friends since his role as crown prince demanded all his time. _Matthew_ was the one allowed to go out-heavily guarded, but all the same!-and interact with the people, and Matthew had been more than grateful for the opportunity to mingle and talk with guests at special events whereas Alfred could only barely manage to greet everyone and exchange bits of small talk before he hastily ran up to do more work. Matthew knew how to keep himself busy even though his work wasn't as much as Alfred's load, and had found an invaluable friend in Carlos.

"Look," he began, and Alfred looked up from the rattling floor.

"I know that you want to end this soon, but I'm not trying to hold you back at all. But I can tell that the people will get confused, and the advisers will get angry. Can we wait for a week? We have weekly Broadcasts now we're at the Elite, and if you do want to finish this soon then we may as well start preparing for the magic trials. Ask Yao to give everyone more lessons, perhaps. Start teaching them time manipulation."

"So…so are you on my side?"

"Of course, Alfred," Matthew sighed, brushing his curl off his face. "We're brothers. We're supposed to support each other, no matter what."

The driver smiled as he tapped down his mirror to see the two brothers laugh together. Milota himself hadn't been working with the palace for a long time, but even so he had been here long enough to escort a number of Chosen to the palace. He had heard of the bond between the royal twins, but only today had he got to witness it in person. Careful to not take his eye of the two chestnut mares pulling the carriage, he decided to draw the curtain a little bit to give the brothers more privacy. Bonding time like this, Milota decided, was supposed to be private.

* * *

"You all right, Artiekins?" Erin's soothing voice came over the phone. Exhaling a sigh of relief, Arthur clutched the receiver tighter to his ear.

The rest of the Elite were on edge as the two princes would return tomorrow; and Emma had gotten skitterish, choosing to go back into her room as she dislodged a Christmas bauble. Natalya had come down without Marianne, a rare occurrence, and she'd awkwardly managed to make conversation with Sakura. Alfonso and Arthur were spurred into action at the sunny day and Arthur exchanged the last five chapters of his novel and decided to teach Alfonso how to shoot at a target practice without missing completely. Both boys had staggered back into the dining hall for dinner, Alfonso completely exhausted from running back and forth to retrieve his stray arrows and Arthur's fingers smarting from the bowstring, but they were both content as the Elite took dinner that night from a large pot luck-esque bowl.

Now feeling very full (and very tired,) he'd asked for the Jack to lend him a phone and a line to his sister before Alfred came back. Ever since that kiss the night before he left for New England, he'd been confused. Of course, there were definitely a million different possibilities that came with that kiss, but he was too shy to contact Alfred now, and the possibility that some rushed love confession might come bursting out was too great.

So obviously he'd decided to ask Erin, probably the most successful in their clan with netting dates and the structure behind romantic feelings.

"I'm all right, it's just that I'm a little confused about…you know, _boys_. Boy talk. And, uh, with all your expertise, I figured out that you'd know better than anyone else."

He could almost hear the prideful smirk in her voice as she laughed, and that mellow sound was familiar enough to make him break into a comforted smile.

" _So_ , Alfred, huh? Is he doing anything else awful to you? Know he's not in the country at this very moment, but for the past few Broadcasts, the two of you have been…let's just say, I can tell that you've both been upset. There aren't those _enraptured_ looks anymore. What's happened?"

"First of all, there weren't any of those _enraptured_ looks in the beginning to begin with," Arthur huffed. "But I would say the word detachment would be more accurate."

"You're making it sound like that's somehow better," her berating tones made Arthur sit up straighter. "If you love him, are you just going to let her-the brunette chick, right-take him?"

"How did you even know...never mind...it would just feel wrong to snatch him away from her, honestly." he said. "I don't want to be like that."

"It's the _Deciding_ , wee bairn," Erin sighed as if it was the most obvious thing in the whole world. "You're given more than an excuse to fight for the guy you love. Unless you don't love him, which I highly doubt. Come on, don't disappoint me now."

"Well…I suppose my feelings are of a somewhat, er, romantic nature, compared to a platonic point of view."

"Making your words fancier aren't working when you're trying to trick me," he heard his sister hiss exasperatedly over the receiver. "Have you told him outright?"

"Those exact three words? Honestly, I…well…I'm a little scared to say the exact phrase 'I love you' to him seeing as we're still so fragile. I-I do love him, though, if you needed my brutal honesty."

"News flash, yes, I did need your brutal honesty," came her sarcastic reply. "But good. Is there anyone in the palace who's here for something other than Alfred's heart? Confidential and stuff."

"Well, the girl who got eliminated this week, Avie? She told Emma and I pretty bluntly that she was here just for the crown. But, uh, the other night I overheard Natalya-the platinum blonde?-saying that she sees Alfred more as a brother figure than a lover, and that Alfred feels the same for her as well. She's still staying, though…not quite sure about that. But when I come home soon….prepare a good homecoming party, I guess?" Arthur tried to joke, but Erin was having none of it.

"Arthur James Kirkland, I'm ordering you to get that atrocious-see, I'm using your fancy vocabulary-idea out of your head. Look, I know that stuff has probably shifted out of the puppy love stage, but even that's good. If the two of you see beyond the initial hook, line, and sinker, then that's great. It means a lot for a relationship to get past the nitty gritty and fighting."

"So…are you saying that our fights are a good thing?"

"Not exactly," Erin interjected. "But if you're too…well, let's just say too _perfect_ as a couple, then that's almost creepy."

"Well, we did have a huge fight. After Leon's caning." Arthur said.

Hadn't Alfred just said the exact same thing the other day? It was odd how people were repeating things, was Erin's love languor not as good as she claimed it to be?

"…speaking of Leon, is he okay? Is there going to be any news?"

Arthur hesitated. He trusted his sister, of course, but he didn't want Leon and Emil's situations to come to light for too many people at this point in time.

"Sis…I'm sorry, but I can't let you in the details. He's-fine, though, I reassure you. I've seen him, though, promise to just tell the rest of the family except Dylan. He's too young for something like that. Who knows what and who he would tell at school…?" he trailed off.

Ever since Erin's love life took a turn for the complicated and Cormac and Allistor worked longer hours, Christian and Arthur were usually the two babysitting the youngest of the Kirkland clan. Of course, Dylan was quite bold for a child, but that meant that he was not afraid to speak his mind, and sometimes that included family affairs. Once Cormac had come out of rehabilitation and managed to keep his drinking problem under control, the family had a mental list of things to keep from Dylan until he had grown older, and Arthur hoped that his relationship with Alfred would stay a secret as best as it could.

"True. But I'm relieved. Back to your fight-how bad was it, exactly?" Erin said.

Arthur's face fell as he pulled up the awful memories of the last two months: his magic, his concern over Leon's safety, the things he'd said to Alfred that had blown their relationship up, the difficulties patching up and how he was still so afraid of losing the other boy that it seemed too much and too far away from him to handle. As he told his sister all that was on his mind, he couldn't help but feel helpful that the Jack was waiting outside, hopefully deaf to his feelings.

"…I'm sorry, Artiekins," Erin said after a pause, "That's so much on your plate, you really shouldn't have to deal with this."

"At least it means that I'm maturing."

"Sometimes I think you _definitely_ have the mind of a forty year old," his sister retorted, "But okay, magic? Damn, is that why the two of you broke up?"

"I wouldn't call it breaking up, it's an odd way of dating to start with, but apparently I, um, managed to freeze time during the caning. I have no idea in the Duchess's name I got to do such magic without learning to before. But he's-Alfred, I mean-planning on going me lessons, so we'll see how that goes." Arthur said.

"That's _sweet_ ," Erin cooed, but quickly composed herself as if she could hear Arthur's glare from miles away. "But you're right. Magic? That is pretty weird, has the Jack been giving you any time bending classes?"

"That's the thing-and how do you know that that the Jack's the one that gives lessons to the Chosen? It's a little odd, really."

"Duh, I've been rewatching those tapes ever since you told us about your leaving ceremony." Erin said, suddenly sounding a lot more enthusiastic.

The last Deciding had been over forty years ago, even before official roles had been assigned to every member of every Primary Suit, and of course it had happened to Alfred's parents, the late King and Queen of Spades. The custom of having a Deciding so that the crown prince or princess could choose their queen-their spouse would become the queen no matter their gender-was highly prized since its conception in Hearts. Due to their relatively geological closeness, the custom had quickly spread to Spades and was officially adopted by the Spades Kingdom ten years after it had been created and accepted by the Hearts.

Not even Allistor had been around to witness the last Deciding, but Arthur still had a hazy memory of his father enthusiastically telling the rest of his siblings about the king and queen's Deciding, and watching a tape as a younger Erin watched intently, and a younger Allistor and Cormac fell asleep. His mother did not have the same interest in the process, but seemed to enjoy the novelty all the same.

"Then why didn't you warn me about the process sooner?" Arthur protested.

Erin merely cackled, talking about her years of obsession with the Primary Suit that seemed to be shared only between their father and her. Ever since her childhood she had been fascinated with them, and had rattled off trivia about them at the dinner for as long as Arthur could remember, and had the unfortunate side effect of stuffing his brain with useless trivia.

"Let's just leave the magic bit because I dunno anything about it, okay? Let's leave your _dearest_ to fix that problem for you."

"First of all, he is not my dearest of _any standard_! And secondly…" Arthur said, chancing a glance at the door where he was sure Yao was waiting. "Is there any advice you can give me about the other problem we were discussing earlier?"

"I don't _think_ that's the main concern, but if you _do_ go to the end, which I'm sure you will-" Arthur huffed in annoyance, trying to fight the blush at the thought of Alfred choosing him- "The real question is, if you had to choose between the crown and the boy, which one? That'll be pretty important in how you choose to fight for the place of queen."

Arthur swallowed, turning slightly redder as he drew his nearest curtain closed, blocking the orange sunset that was draping itself over Cards. He also double checked the door to make sure Yao couldn't hear, then took a breath before continuing.

"The boy. A…Alfred, I mean. What else could I want more in this, um, competition?"

"Okay, that's great," Erin said, although Arthur could hear some wistfulness in her tone. After all, it was his sister that got excited when they were kids, not him. He'd never even imagined coming here in the first place, let alone falling in love.

"But of course there'll be so many duties…" Arthur began to pace around the room, running his hand through his messy hair. "I don't think how I'll possibly handle them. What if our marria-r _elationship_ falls apart because of that? You could say that about my less-on-par social skills, I could even destroy all of Spades' foreign relationships! Er, that's my job as queen, right?"

"That's not the nearest problem you have right now. I think Allistor possibly might know, but nah. He's a dolt. _Anyway_ , you can't destroy relations as quick as that. And obviously, not everyone will love you when you ascend. About your social skills…well, you managed to charm Prince Alfred of all people," Erin laughed brazenly. "How in the Fates' name did you manage to do that, you prickly ponce?"

 _Artie ain't a prickly monster!_ Arthur could practically hear Alfred's voice beside his ear. _He's a-_

Well, that was a magic that his mind couldn't do. Conjuring up his positivities was a near impossible task for him. That was a _serious_ stretch.

"You should have asked him when you were here." Arthur snarked right back. He could practically _hear_ Erin wince before he heard a knock on the door and Jack Yao's quizzical expression. It was enough for him to stop and start to mumble his goodbyes.

"Remember, little brother, give him a kiss for me!" Erin squealed, and Arthur pressed off on the chunky phone with a furious blush on his cheeks that he didn't know that he was capable of producing.

"I am assuming that was a nice call, yes, Sir Arthur?" Yao asked as he took back the phone and tucked it in his robes.

"It was, Your Highness, thank you. I'm, um, sorry that I took a little longer than expected." Arthur said sheepishly, tucking in his bathrobe closer.

"No issue, Sir Arthur. If I may, can I ask who you were talking to?"

"Um, my sister."

"Ah, I see. Well, get to bed in a few hours yes? The princes are coming home tomorrow." Yao smiled, nodding at him before going to close the door.

Arthur bowed in greeting before quietly closing the door. Standing still for a moment, he chewed on his knuckles before deciding to call it a night-

-until he caught sight of something moving downstairs, in the gardens.

 _Was it…?_ Arthur readily shook his head, believing to just be a fragment of his love sick mind, but as he peered closer two footmen ran to the front of the entrance and appeared to be waiting for something, _something_ that Arthur hoped was him.

"Come home to your…to _your_ queen," Arthur whispered, in a moment of impulse. "I'm…I'm waiting for you."

* * *

the last sentence may or may not be foreshadowing ;))) it can be interpreted in a number of ways, but the emphasis on the particular word is very telling

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them :)


	43. In My Arms

hi i'm panicking right now because i only have one goddamn prewritten chapter before i can't do weekly updates i hate myself im #triggered

also school is stressing me out rn i want to run off into an active yodeling 'the fitnessgram pacer test' as i become an icelandic priest

all jokes aside though thank you for all your support! even though reviews are crazy important to me right now (since not much motivation/time lol) i'm still thrilled i have all your support. i'm probably not one of those big fics currently on the ffnet site (ha i dream) but my relatively small readership is amazing. love you guys. it sounds like i'm dying for some reason.

* * *

mailbox

 _pastaaddict_ -we'll see, we'll see! ;)

 _russia says hello_ -please do! the italics/emphasis were there for a reason, and i'm so glad that you saw it that way! and they'll be meeting again now...

 _hearthorse11_ -aah, that's not what i meant at all! i meant the prewritten chapters, which are the chapters i write beforehand so that you don't all have to wait. this story's around a half? three quarters? done :) and thank you very much, i'm very humbled! i was thinking of doing an omegaverse one, but we'll see! and the ending, well...let's just say it's going to be very dramatic haha.

 _sam_ -god bless u (tbh our skype conversations give me inspo for 1/2 of this story lmao)

 _regine_ -i'm glad you feel better! (i always feel sort of bad that i can only leave a few sentences as a little bit of thanks to the thoughtfulness of your reviews OTL) and i feel like he does! and yes, sometimes arthur _does_ leave me in the dark about his intentions lol. he'll always be kind of a dark horse i feel like. he decides to let go of his tsun only with a special someone, though...and he's probably a bit fog minded because teenagers can sometimes be like that-and i hope that you'll be fine because spoilers this is going to be fluff for a little bit longer ^^

 _anonymouswolf11_ -welcome to the party! (holy god your review is crazy long bless you) i also avoid it sometimes, but i've been keeping my updating consistent for quite a while now, i hope it stays that way for now lmao. and i just checked and there are 44 chapters and i'm not even finished with the thing (!) it still kind of shocked me that people can slouch through all that writing, but you did it and you're officially amazing. four hours is a great time for, uh, 140k? and yeah, i remember yesterday when i was going to school and the rush of schoolkids on the mtr had me so shocked lol. i'm so happy i managed to cheer you up tho :) and yes i'm from hk! it's always so so cool to find someone that's from hk as well, so nice to meet you B) at least it clarified my shit english...and the sentences problem is really bothering me, so thank you! i'm so honoured you think so highly of my writing-and please don't feel bad about your writing, we all develop if we keep writing! and here's your update!

(oh man sorry for anyone who has to slouch through my socially awkward replies lol.)

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for arthur literally thinking out loud, _more_ amerigigi, arthur-tell-him-you-like-him james kirkland, and so...much...fluff...**

* * *

"Was it a good run?"

"I think you've finally finished your training, Mi," came a high pitched voice outside the carriage. "Never thought we'd see the day!"

Alfred sleepily raised his head from the windowsill, nudging Matthew as he recognized the familiar, gold stained gates.

"I didn't know Milota was the one to drive us today." he said, his voice croaky from sleep as he drew back the curtain to see the happy-go-lucky driver standing outside the carriage and talking cheerfully to two footmen. "Was it why it was bumpier than usual?"

"Was it?" Matthew questioned, getting up and rubbing sleep sand from his eyes. "He's a good driver, it's probably just the road. Is it really that late?"

"The sun's just beginning to set," Alfred began, but before he could continue to speak he heard a loud _splash_ on the carriage, and that was the only warning he got before the heavens opened up and rain began to fall lightly.

"Ack!" Milota yelped from outside, and the two footmen, almost if on cue, opened two brightly coloured blue umbrellas, crowding in to shield the coach driver. The two brothers could hear a muffled _thanks, fellas_ before one of the footmen knocked on the door of the carriage.

"Your Highnesses?" came the warm voice of a female. "We're very sorry for the weather, but we have umbrellas ready to take you two in. We can go in the back entrance if you wish to be discreet."

"Ah, if it's not too much trouble, we'd love to." Matthew answered for the two of them, looking at Alfred pointedly. He knew that his brother wouldn't want to be swamped by people when he came back, Elite or not.

Once they were let in the secret entrance, Yao giving them each a hug in greeting as they came up the stairs.

"Apologies for the lacklustre homecoming party," the Jack said warmly, handing Matthew his beige coat and Alfred his bomber jacket, which they both gratefully slipped on. "I imagined you wanted to take a break before the Broadcast tomorrow. I've already asked the technicians to put in a compilation of both of the receptions, so your job for tomorrow is to just answer a few questions, nothing more. Alfred, your extra task is to publicly announce who's been eliminated this week. Is that all right?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Alfred said, nodding once. Matthew and Yao exchanged a glance.

"Do you need some time to yourself?"

"Uh, that would be swell, actually," Alfred said shyly, before taking that as a signal to slowly back out of the room.

Both Matthew and Yao watched him trot down the stairs, jacket wrapped almost too tightly around his shoulders.

"Do you think he's taking it too hard on himself?" Matthew echoed after they watched him walk down to the gardens. "I mean, with the whole Deciding going on…"

Yao did not reply, but nodded silently, pressing his mouth into a thin line.

Then, of course, it began to rain harder.

* * *

All right, so what if Arthur didn't want to call it a night yet? It-it wasn't because he was waiting for Alfred or anything! He just couldn't sleep. And now Arthur was slowly walking around in the gardens. The light drizzle didn't seem to bother him; rain was something that had fascinated him ever since he was small. A fond smile came to his face as he remembered him and his siblings splashing around in the mud.

 _I haven't forgotten that flower_ , Arthur finally admitted to himself, straightening his shirt as he walked between the roses. The night had fully set on Spades, but in no way did the flowers look any less enchanting than in daylight, even though ever since their huge fight Arthur hadn't spent a lot of time in the gardens, anyway. Alfred had wrote that he'd wished to see him again in the gardens, but until today, the _distance_ spent away from Alfred had made him finally brave enough to venture back into the flowers.

* * *

It had been so long that he'd had a clear moment to think about the prince and their relationship, and letting the lamplights guide his way he decided to wander deep into the gardens, allowing himself to be consumed in his thoughts.

 _It was a night like this where we had our first kiss,_ he reflected, feeling the memories start to swell. He could almost picture the exact bench, then the balcony the night of the large Meeting, where their second kiss had been accompanied with rain, like it was today. Arthur felt a small smile worm its way onto his mouth, and he hated the rosiness in his cheeks and the warmth that burst into his chest at the thought of their kisses.

"He's changed me so much…" Arthur whispered out loud, unable to keep his intense thoughts to himself any longer. _What_ had this boy done to him? From only five months so much had changed, from him thinking that Alfred was a complete idiot from being unable to tear his eyes away from him every time he walked into the room. Arthur would have never thought in a million years that he would even _resemble_ someone madly in love, but here he was. Completely smitten with someone he didn't really know until a little more than half a year ago. Even when he came to the palace and managed to talk to Marco and Emma, there was still this underlying tone of loneliness that had subdued a little with Alfred but came surging back after Leon's caning. It had died down again with him finding Leon and his new pact with Alfonso, but falling in love was never something that he expected could truly help fill the gap. By the Fates, he was sure that Alfred was the main cause that the world had changed so much for him. He felt Anna's friendly, helping presence more strongly than ever, he felt that interacting with Emma and Alfonso had gotten that much more easier. He could feel his defences start to slowly fall away, and he found that Sakura stopped being slightly scared of him every time they talked.

* * *

But did he _want_ this new, confusing world to stay?

With a pang, he remembered their fight-they had both thrown blows that Arthur hadn't thought twice about yelling at him about, but even now did he regret calling Alfred all those things. The weeks of agony, of pining, of listening brokenheartedly to the tales about him that his friends talked about all the time. It startled him about how little he knew about Alfred then and how little he still knows about him now. What was Alfred's favourite colour? What was his favourite animal? What was his favourite food? All these things hadn't come up in their everyday conversation, and Arthur felt like sometimes Alfred was such a stranger and that he still couldn't always read him, but some days he felt like he and Alfred had known each other in a past life.

 _Of course he isn't the perfection that you always say he is,_ Arthur scolded himself mentally. Arthur had long suspected that was mostly just a farce, a false face that he put on in front of other people. Maybe it was to hide wounds, maybe heartbreak from his parents or another person, Arthur wouldn't know. For a moment, fear gripped his heart, of the possibility that he had fallen in love with the _fake_ Alfred, not the silly, dorky, amazing person that was underneath that royal façade, all that physical and mental perfection that everyone expected from him. For once, Arthur felt himself thinking about asking Alfred to open up more to him, to remove that mask and give himself to Arthur, flaws and all.

* * *

 _The thing is…I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for him to tell me every little thing about his life if he's not ready to share it with me._

His mind cast back to the Halloween party, in all its splendour, hazily cast with bright chandelier lights and draped with black and orange velvet. How Alfred swept him around the ballroom that night, whispering sweet words of love and affection. The whole process, the months in the palace, had definitely made him feel like royalty, but that night was the one that Arthur had allowed Alfred to sweep him up in his fantasies, the fantasies that made Arthur really feel like he could do the job of becoming queen and that there was nothing between them…

…and that night had simultaneously terrified him. Watching Leon and Emil being caned had almost convinced him that he definitely couldn't handle the stress, the demands expected of a royal. Maybe _that_ was why Alfred had to put on that mask, because someone would hurt him if he ever lashed out and showed emotions that he wasn't supposed to or that he spoke out of turn and behaved in a way that was unfitting for a prince? Arthur sucked in a breath, sensing fear rise in his throat once again and his footsteps shuffle around in confusion. All these thoughts, all these _feelings_ threatened to overwhelm him.

Did Alfred truly know what Arthur felt for him? Did he even _know_ how intensely Arthur knew his feelings for the prince were? They weren't just a fun little crush anymore, thoughts of Alfred and their relationship preoccupied so much more time of his day than Arthur ever thought it could do. He knew that there could be a chance that Alfred would choose someone else and leave Arthur alone and heartbroken as he lost. Of course, even from the first few days from when they were still tentatively friends, Arthur made a point to talk about the others when they were together. Even _then_ were his intentions for Alfred's sake, wanting for him to be happy, to find someone that he could love. With a soft sigh, he admitted to himself that he wouldn't, _shouldn't_ be upset if that happened. After all, he just wanted Alfred to be content with his life as much as possible, whether that be with him or with someone else. Edging around the blue carnations, he took a left turn and let his fingertips skid across the damp leaves. His jacket had gotten wetter, but he pushed in deeper into the gardens, wanting to be alone but desperately wanting someone's company.

* * *

His breath caught as he heard the faint sound of footsteps amidst all the rain, which was starting to grow heavier with every passing minute. He had a second thought to call out for Arthur, but that would ruin the surprise factor. He also thought about reaching for his arm and pulling him close, but he quickly shot that idea down as well. Rubbing his hands together for another time to try to keep warm and trying to not to shiver or to notice the small puffs that his breath had become, he followed the rustle of bushes to the person that he wanted to see the most.

* * *

 _Is the crown and all the responsibilities along with the very imminent possibility of being eliminated and rejected that come with it worth for this one person?_ Arthur let his thoughts grow more and more complicated as he pushed his way into a section of bushes, faintly hearing whinnying noises and signs that he was near the stables, which he remembered was an age away from the palace. Surely no one would find him here…

* * *

 _Man, why did he hafta come so far_? _It's pouring and crazy cold outside! Is he all right?_ He continued, keeping his gaze carefully trained on the other boy as he sidestepped a grove of beautiful red roses, with dew on its petals. It was rapidly getting darker, and for a moment fear gripped his heart as he thought of losing Arthur in the fray. Edging alongside the topiary, he stumbled around a little more, unsure of where he was until he heard a very familiar whinny. His blue eyes shone for a moment, and he began to take another bold step before breaking into a run.

* * *

 _But he's not one person. He's Alfred!_

 _So? Why does that make him special? The crown, or the fact that he's Alfred?_

 _In the name of the Fates, do you even know who I am anymore?_

 _Yes, well, never mind that. The point's that: is Alfred worth it?_

Arthur stuffed his hands in his pockets, trying to keep out the cold while simultaneously having the world's worst internal battle. Was Alfred _really_ worth this stress, after all? Why was he arguing with himself so much? Why was he so _confusing_?

Stretching out his hands before rubbing them chiefly on his arms to try to warm himself up, until he felt, something, _someone's_ strong arms wrap around his waist and pull him flush into a hug, and he felt the warmth of someone's breath on his cheek.

* * *

Whipping around, half in fright and half in defense, he felt his rapidly beating heart calm down only for it to pound faster as he faced Alfred's shining eyes.

"Y…You're home," Arthur breathed, pulling up his hands to reluctantly rest on Alfred's chest, the rain quickly forgotten.

"I sure am, sugar!" Alfred grinned, leaning in. Arthur's breath hushed and he tilted his head deliberately, half wishing for and half not wanting Alfred to kiss him. Fortunately, the other boy stopped short, and quickly pulled back, a blush splashed on his face.

 _Cute_ , Arthur thought, in spite of himself.

"Aren't you tired?" he asked, his eyes softening as he turned his gaze to face him again.

"I...I wanted to see you, heh," Alfred confessed, his cheeks bright red. Arthur felt him remove his arm from where it encircled Arthur's waist to rub on the small of neck in embarrassment. "I mean, I technically coulda have waited until morning, but I really did." Even Arthur could see how mortified he was, confessing his true intentions. Maybe a bit of honesty could be repaid with some honesty of his own?

"I…I couldn't stay inside when it started to rain…" he blurted, looking down at his hands. "I-I remembered your note. About how you'd like to see me in the rain again, waiting for you."

Alfred's eyes widened in surprise, and a shy, dopey smile made its way on his face that made Arthur's heart melt.

"So you _did_ read those notes," he said softly, removing his arm from his neck and placing his hand under Arthur's chin. "I thought ya would just throw them away…" Alfred trailed off, looking awkward. "I'm happ-"

Before he could finish, though, a clap of thunder shot through the air and the rain was quickly remembered as Arthur laughed and Alfred hurriedly untangled his hands from Arthur and yanked off his jacket, covering the both of them.

"Didn't you check the weather forecast? Did it mention something about, I don't know, a _downpour_ , perhaps?"

"You yourself didn't give me any time when you pulled me out here! It's all your fault, princess!" Alfred whined, sticking out his bottom lip as they pelted forward.

"That's not how you treat your _lady_ ," Arthur teased, sticking his chin out in the air. "You'd better make it up to me, or I shall cease this walk right now."

"Wouldn't that be a real shame, huh? Come here!" Alfred said playfully, hooking an arm around his waist. The two of them stumbled around (yet _again,_ but this time thankfully together) in the rain, the roar of the rain muting most of their conversation. Finally, they got to the old outhouse where they had met for the first time. Alfred pulled him into the damp house, then turned around to leave.

"Where are you going, you git?" Arthur huffed. After Alfred raised his eyebrows expressively, he grumbled and looked away. "N-not like I'll be lonely when you're gone or anything!"

The honey blond grinned, and shook his head. "Be right back."

Arthur sat on the creaky bench, pulling Alfred's jacket tightly around his shoulders before he heard a loud rustling and jumped off the bench, tugging the door open before Alfred burst in, holding two scarlet, dewy roses in each hand.

"Th-these are for you!" he exclaimed, jerking out his hand and watching as Arthur gingerly took one from his palm and turned it around in curiosity.

"What's made you so soft on me?" he asked, tilting his head to one side as the rain thundered outside. "Are you apologizing for kicking me out?"

"What? No, no! I just…this week had me thinkin' a lot," Alfred said, sitting down beside him slowly. Making sure that Arthur wasn't looking, he stole a glance at the other boy before quickly glancing at the other direction and taking a deep breath before continuing.

"Was the trip really _that_ gruelling?" Arthur scoffed.

"Yeah, I guess. Not my favourite, gotta say. I got into trouble the first meeting and Matthew got pretty pissed. Ya see, New England's got itself into a bunch of nasty debt because of the war and stuff, and they're increasing taxes for the people. I don't think it's fair, but everyone shouted me down when I tried to-"

"In hindsight, that's a pretty idiotic idea. Where _else_ would they get the money from?" Seeing Alfred's dismayed face, he quickly shook his head, noting how distressed he was. "Shouting you down…at least they didn't physically hurt you."

In a moment so swift that Arthur wasn't even sure it happened, Alfred flinched before nodding his head vigorously.

"But anyway, you were right, last week. Spending time away from each other _is_ a good thing. Between all this crap and the Deciding, I've been so confused recently…"

 _I understand, Alfred_. For once, Arthur could relate to his problems outright.

"Never mind then, d'ya know the reason I brought you those flowers?" he said cheerfully, quickly changing the subject and cupping the bloom between his hands, letting the stem dangle.

"Are we going to have a magic lesson, _right now_?"

"Nah…I wanted to show you this."

Arthur watched as Alfred took a deep breath and shut his eyes, a crease forming in between them as he watched, with fascination, the red blending from lilac to dark purple to vibrant, soft blue.

Shyly lifting the now blue rose to Arthur's hair, Alfred's rough fingers sought out two locks of sandy blond hair and wound the stem around them, before he let go and the flower perched precariously on his ear.

"A rose fit for a princess," he said bashfully, rubbing his hands together nervously. "If…if you'll have it, of course."

"Where _did_ you learn this spell?" Arthur asked, mesmerized as he gingerly touched the petals, worried that he'd dislodge the flower by accident.

"Matthew taught me." Alfred said. "He apprenticed with King Francis for a year while I went to Hearts, and he learned all sorts of pretty spells, like a bit of shape shifting and colour changing. But I never got into the fancy stuff, but he taught me this one so I could impress a serving girl that I thought I was madly in love with at eight."

"Was it love?" Arthur snickered for a moment, but he felt a smile warming his cold body and tug at his cheeks, feeling the reminiscence of childhood bubble underneath his shirt.

"I was just a kid. Never mind, that was like forever," Alfred said, quick to change the subject. Arthur was surprised that he wanted to move on so quickly. Sensing that it was something more than just the embarrassment of the younger years, he decided to sit a little closer, his jaw tensing as he prepared to speak.

"Can you tell me more about her?" he prompted as gently as he could muster. "Was she nice? Did she-"

"Arthur," Alfred sighed, and he felt his heart lurch in panic. "I…I don't wanna talk about my childhood, okay? It was…"

"Why?" Arthur asked, his hands tightening into fists. For a reckless, hopeless moment, he was both fed up and worried. What was Alfred hiding? Was there something wrong? Did his parents do something to him?

"It's just a lot of stuff I don't want to get into." In a single sentence, the prince had clammed up, the one flirtatious atmosphere evaporating into the thin air. The pounding rain and lightning suddenly rang more vividly in his ears, the sweet words fading into dust.

" _What_ 's gotten into you?" Arthur asked, his expression becoming annoyed.

Alfred's once-smiling mouth disappeared into a hard line, and he sat there for two icy, stone cold seconds before exhaling angrily and storming out of the outhouse, to Arthur's astonishment.

Picking up Alfred's jacket, the other boy quickly followed him outside, anger and indignation coming out in front of his concern. Why could Alfred ask Arthur to trust him if he couldn't even tell him anything about his childhood?

"You don't just _storm_ out on a date like that! What in the Fates has gotten into you?"

"Is it even a _date_ when I just sprung on you?" Alfred's playful accent had completely evaporated in the tense atmosphere. The rain seemed to come rushing back, thundering and drenching both of them. "How can I trust you with such a thing if you don't even care about me enough?"

" _What_?" Arthur hissed, his green eyes narrowing. "If I didn't _care_ , Your Highness, I wouldn't have asked in the first place! Why do _you_ keep clamming up about such a simple detail?"

"I don't want to talk about it! You just wouldn't understand some things about my life, Arthur, and this is one of them!"

"Oh, so just because _I can't understand_ means that you have to clam up about such a small detail? Why are you being so high strung about it? Sometimes I doubt that we could work because you won't tell me these little things, these bits of _trivia-_ " Arthur stopped to wipe some rain from his face, but he was desperately gnawing at his lip to stop the desperation, the tears that had been held down for months.

"I feel like I know you sometimes, but I don't know the little things! What's your favourite colour? And I don't even know how you were as a child! How can you expect me to give you everything if you're h…holding back as well?"

Alfred's stormy blue eyes reflected the lightning streaking across the sky, holding Arthur's gaze for a moment. But to his dismay, tears started abruptly running down his face. Trying to disguise them as part of the rain, he quickly wiped them away, but Arthur had already caught on and slowly, achingly, placed his hand on his cheek.

"You've broke down so many of my walls," he said softly, tentatively. "Now it's my turn to take off your mask for you. I…I know it's _there_."

Alfred's mouth had gone completely dry save for the salty taste of his tears, but this _vulnerability_ , the stance which Alfred now found himself in, was terrifying to say the least. And in most conditions, he'd hate it, knowing how unheroic it would be. But all those commitments, all those fears fell apart in front of Arthur's green eyes, and he allowed himself to collapse against the shorter boy, feeling tears fall onto the cold surface of his glasses.

"I'm so tired, Arthur," he gasped as the other boy's arms came to wrap around his waist, like a mother would do to her child. "I would tell you, but sometimes I feel like you'd run. There's just-"

"It's all right, love, I would as well. I, um, I feel like I'm finally starting to understand…" he started carding his fingers through Alfred's soaked hair, the ends firmly pressed to the sides of his face and covering his blue eyes.

 _Love._

He paused for a moment, processing the pet name. Of course, it was no grand romantic confession, or those sacred three words that were coming out of his mouth, but it was _something_.

A pet name, another reassurance that Arthur loved him, that there could be a future for the both of them. There didn't have to be any words exchanged, the feeling burned between them was enough.

Together.

* * *

"Ask Anna to draw up another bath for you when you get back. I don't want you to catch a cold, especially since we have a Broadcast tomorrow."

Arthur nodded, pulling Alfred back into the palace before brushing away a few raindrops on his cheekbone, his hand shaking as Alfred reached up to clasp it to his face.

"Arthur…" he breathed, and he could hear his heart going at a million miles an hour, and he felt like the wind had drifted away from his lungs as he swallowed.

"I…My favourite colour was blue, until it wasn't a few months ago."

"What is it now?" Arthur's eyes glinted with mischief, but heady relief settled into his chest. Maybe they _could_ be saved, after all.

Alfred smiled, a small portion of his usual, cheerful beam showing through.

"First thing I thought when I saw you? Pretty eyes. Second thing I thought and first thing I said to Matthew? My new favourite colour is green. More specifically, _your_ stars."

"I hate you," Arthur sputtered, smirking a little. "Because after I met _you,_ I started to become obsessed with the colour blue." Leaning up on his tiptoes to whisper in his ear and press his cheek against his cold, soaked hair, he took a deep breath before speaking.

"Guess _who's fault that is_?" he nearly purred, sending shivers down Alfred's spine.

"What's happened while I was gone?" Alfred said, slightly shakily. "Did the visitors do something to ya?"

"I met a fellow who kept on asking for you and calling you porkchop, but I met some wonderful ladies as well."

"A-Allen?" Alfred sputtered, his cheeks turning redder than they were. "He…he still remembers _me_?"

"Of course-" Arthur continued, but paused as Alfred scuffled in his damp jacket and pulled out his (thankfully) dry watch. The golden hands tipped with blue pointed to eleven thirty.

"Ah crap!" Alfred said quickly, shoving it back into his jacket and running a hand through his wet hair. "We should be both going to bed now, Artie, I'll tell you what my favourite animal is tomorrow, I promise! Anything els-mmph!"

Arthur's hands trembled slightly as he looped his thin fingers through Alfred's golden buttons and pulled him in, feeling Alfred's cold, chapped mouth press tightly against his for a moment before he shut his eyes tightly and let himself reacquaint the feeling of Alfred's body against his own. His entire body was tense-he'd _basically never_ taken the first move before!-but when he felt the other boy's arm loop around his and press against his drenched hair, he fell back a bit on his feet and let Alfred pull him closer, pressing their cold bodies flush against each other for warmth.

Arthur and Alfred could have stood there for eternity, lost in each other's warmth as he tiptoed around and Alfred moved with him, almost like a little dance, but of course with the responsibility of human life comes the need to breathe oxygen so they were left gasping as they broke apart.

"I…I have to go," Arthur said, a hint of regret in his voice. Taking a few, swift steps towards the direction of his room, he quickly stopped before beginning to remove Alfred's jacket. He felt Alfred's hand against his back before he could continue to remove the piece of clothing, shaking his head with a glint in his eyes.

"Keep it," he whispered against his cheek. "I love seeing you wear my stuff."

" _Hush_ ," Arthur chided, shaking his head disapprovingly but still feeling a little cheeky as he playfully tugged on his ear. "You don't have to make such a fuss."

* * *

 _Is Alfred really worth all his trouble?_

The voice came back as he made his way down to the corridor, feeling Alfred's blue gaze bore into his back as he walked a little slower than usual.

With a rush of warmth, he hugged the jacket tighter, inhaling his smell and the fresh scent of raindrops.

"I'm smitten with you," Arthur breathed, running his fingers over the small outline of Alfred's name. "Make it stop, you _idiot_."

 _Yes._

"I still can't tell him outright, though…" he murmured in a low, worried tone to himself, shaking his head as he reached out for the doorknob.


	44. Before

**_updating at 3am montage music_**

 ** _All right, first off all happy birthday to my lovely friend Tey! go spam her merl_merl on tumblr B)_**

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mailbox

 _pastaaddict_ -if only arthur would hurry up and notoice it haha

 _hearthorse11_ -fairy floss indeed (not compensating for the next chapter or anything)! and feel to write fanfiction _of_ my fanfic lol.

 _russia says hello_ (i'm assuming this is you? please correct me if i'm wrong!)- aah i love that song! i hear it on the radio every so often and now i'll think of usuk when i listen to it forever more haha. and that is _insane_. at that point i think if i ever did that they would have to airlift me out of the sports hall...

 _prucan sam_ -thank you so much for your kind words :) and no, i understand if you don't review because i sometimes don't do that unless that chapter was amazing, etc. but thank you. this helped me get through my small break a lot, knowing that people actually like my fic (and me? lmao)

 _sp8cefluff_ -i'm so thankful for your lovely reassurance! ^^

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for the writer being a lazy bum because it's 3am** ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

* * *

"Good morning, everyone!"

The Elite were eating breakfast, and instead of Alfred and Matthew arriving to the dining room only Yao made his appearance, which Arthur found odd.

"Your Highness," the Elite chorused as the Jack graciously made his way to his seat and sat back down. Much like the previous days, he was lacking documents or books in his hands, but his expression was less strained than before.

"All right, everyone, I'm sure you are all dying to hear about the princes. Well, I am here with the wonderful news that they are here in the palace as of right now!"  
Emma let out a gasp of relief, and she hugged Sakura excitedly, the two girls sharing a giggle. Alfonso and Arthur exchanged happy looks, and even Marianne had a small smile on her face.

"However, the two of them have had an exhausting trip and arrival, and so they've requested to take a rest until the Broadcast tonight. You won't be able to see them until tonight, I'm afraid."

"Are they all right?" Emma piped up, abruptly putting down her fork in anticipation.

Arthur thought the Jack would snap or at least look irritated, but Yao merely nodded, still smiling demurely.

"They're both a little sleepy, which I'm sure is the only reason they're not running out to see you all right now. But since they're not here, I suppose I'll postpone all lessons today for you all to get ready for tonight's screening. Prince Alfred will be making a few announcements tonight, and I expect that the people and the audience will be looking forward to a direct response."

"Does that mean we will have to speak without preparation?" Sakura asked nervously, her hand bobbing up in the air.

"It's what prepares you for being Queen," Yao said as he dug into his steaming plate of what seemed to look like dough stuffed with various fillings, looking more content than he had for the entire morning. "If you are appointed to be Queen, you will be expected to speak regularly in public. Preparations for this have gotten a lot more intense especially since you have entered the Elite now, which is one step closer to being part of the Primary Suit."

Discussion died down as the Elite and the Jack settled down to eat their breakfast, but the rest of the day was devoted to the preparation for the important event. Thankfully, Marianne had flounced off to her room with her maid almost as soon as the huge, golden clock in the grand entrance struck noon, so Natalya could join their group like she had previously. It was a lot more different than last time since this meeting was filled with more chatter and discussion in contrast to last time.

"Why don't you purl up your hair for this show?" Sakura said, tilting her head as she placed her hands on Emma's shoulders.

"What do you suggest?" Emma asked, adjusting her hairband and squinting at her reflection in the mirror. "I mean, it's going to be the first time we're going to see him after quite a few days, and so I guess I want to look my best. But again, would he like it if I changed up my hairstyle a little?"

"I think he'll like you just fine _whatever_ you look like." Alfonso chipped in. He had quickly gotten tired of the whole, fancier side of the entire debacle and had chosen to read some sort of etiquette book instead.

"Alfred will have all eyes for you," Natalya chimed in, unfolding her arms and walking over to her maid. "Nothing to worry about."

Arthur looked away from the window for a moment at the mention of Alfred's name, and paused for another heartbeat before getting up to join them.

If his thoughts about last night were right, the process would be ending soon. So if he didn't want to be alone in his last few days in the palace, then he'd have to start, much in contrast to his introverted attitude, to try to keep his friendships.

…after all, there was no real harm in spending some time with them, yes? He could get Anna to undo any destruction in the end.

* * *

"I'm not even sure what _this_ is!" Anna sighed, pulling on his hair again before he let out a yelp and she spluttered with laughter.

"What have they done to me?" Arthur begged, his distress going up by the minute. He didn't want to be bald!

"Can someone please tell them that clips don't work with your hair at all?" she said, giving the comb a sharp tug before it came loose, along with a small clump of ashy blond hair.

"Can you salvage most of my hair? It's only around ten to twenty minutes until the bloody thing starts!"

"To be fair, you're practically done. And don't tell me that your waistcoat's worse than last time.""I wore a plainer shirt, but since it's getting cold it does seem fitting. You

"I wore a plainer shirt, but since it's getting cold it does seem fitting. You _know_ I won't challenge your clothes, Anna.""Ha!" his maid smirked, picking up a large brush. "Tell that to me when I'll give you your wedding dress."

"Ha!" his maid smirked, picking up a large brush. "Tell that to me when I'll give you your wedding dress."  
Arthur huffed in complaint, his thick brows scrunching together, but a small nagging at the back of his mind about him winning the Deciding seemed to fade a little faster than it had before.

After last night, he'd somehow gained a little more confidence in his and Alfred's relationship. How could Alfred expose such a vulnerable side of himself to Arthur if he didn't feel the same way? Of course, they had yet to say so many things to each other, but Arthur felt that Alfred's heart was in the right place. Of course, Arthur certainly felt the same.

"You haven't denied it," Anna said, noting his silence. "Did he…end this, yet?""What? Oh, um, no, it's not like that! It's just that he came to see me last night, and…we, um, talked. A lot."

"What? Oh, um, no, it's not like that! It's just that he came to see me last night, and…we, um, talked. A lot."Anna smiled, twisting back a glossy curl of her hair. "Of course, he couldn't wait until tonight to see you again, right?"

Anna smiled, twisting back a glossy curl of her hair. "Of course, he couldn't wait until tonight to see you again, right?""It was by accident, really!" Arthur insisted, but his maid only nodded knowingly and continued to brush his hair.

"It was by accident, really!" Arthur insisted, but his maid only nodded knowingly and continued to brush his hair.

"I knew you were going to go far, kid."

* * *

Yao's expression was tight as he waited in front of the group of five advisors. He wished that he could have brought his portable as well, instead of summoning them up into the room only a few minutes before they started airing."They're emerging from the left flank. We should probably at least postpone the Broadcast before anything happens and we are unable to intercept."

"They're emerging from the left flank. We should probably at least postpone the Broadcast before anything happens and we are unable to intercept."

"Your Highness, I don't believe you are in charge of the military and security?" An advisor remarked, pushing back her brown hair. "That job is of the Queen, which we do not have. You do not have the authority-"

"But as leader of homeland security, I have the initiative to deploy forces. This is a very imminent threat," Yao insisted, wanting for once to slam down his heavy papers and start yelling as he wanted to.

"I thought you've deployed them already?" came another sharp, bored response. Yao's jaw clenched in anger, these were lives in the palace he was trying to protect.

"Of course I have, but the time between Diamonds' messages suggests that we do not have enough time for our soldiers to fully intercept them. They'll be onto us before we know it."

The rebels had left the Diamonds-Hearts border and worked their way across the Clubs-Spades borders and spilled into Diamonds, and Yao and Matthew had both had their work cut out for them as they tried to contact the Diamonds Primary Suit. They were more closed to communication compared to Hearts, but were easier than the Clubs Kingdom when the rebels were on their shared border. But all three members had readily refused help, and the only thing they could do from a kingdom off was ask for news every time they had moved. Their Jack had been reluctant to share this information, and that was why it had arrived so late."But we've put off the Broadcast for weeks now! The public will be upset!"

"But we've put off the weekly Broadcasts for a while now! The public will be upset!"

"I understand, but-" Yao pressed on, but the other advisors had drowned him out with agreements and discussion about the Broadcast.

His fists tightened in frustration, for this was not the first time he had been dismissed simply because his rank was of a Jack and therefore he could be voted out in meetings. Naturally Matthew and Alfred would try to help as much as they could, but Matthew was even lower than him and Alfred hadn't chosen his queen and therefore couldn't be crowned King just yet.

"Very well," he said loudly, interrupting the squabbling of the group. "We will proceed as planned, but not without safety measures.""Your Highness, they have been here before, it is nothing that the guards may not handle," the advisor chuckled as if it was a light affair. "We should be proceeding down to the set soon!"

"Your Highness, they have been here before, it is nothing that the guards may not handle," the advisor chuckled as if it was a light affair. "We should be proceeding down to the set soon!"Yao watched them go down the corridor and leave, then briskly walked to the other side, hoping that he would find someone there.

Yao watched them go down the corridor and leave, then briskly walked to the other side, hoping that he would find someone there.

Per his luck, General Oxenstierna was standing outside the entrance to the doors where their private rooms were, his gaze turned down to the hilt of his sword.

"Berwald," Yao called, rapidly approaching him. They had grown up together in the palace, and had managed to keep their friendship intact even after Yao left for his scholarship.

"Your Highn'ss," he acknowledged formally, bowing deeply. "Yao. What m'y I do for yer?"

"Berwald, I do not mean to alarm you, but there's a very real possibility of an attack from the rebels."

His stoic expression shifted into an astonished one, but the Jack did not account for this as he began to speak faster.

"I've tried to ask the advisors about the situation, but they're not exactly helpful as of right now. From the data that's been made available they could be here tonight or early tomorrow morning."

"H've they not already? S'not right," Berwald muttered, and Yao had to pause for a moment to process the heavily accented words.

"I have sent out a few soldiers, but that's not enough, I don't think."

"I underst'nd. I w'll secure the premises as much as I c'n." the guard grunted, pushing his hilt back onto his hipbone and walking alongside the Jack. "G'd luck with them."

"I'll need it," he muttered to himself, but he thanked Berwald profusely before heading downstairs.

Pausing slightly before he stepped into the room, he straightened himself and rearranged his papers so it seemed like he had just returned from work. Making sure the short script was neatly on top, he fixed his hat and smoothed his robes before striding in the studio.

He couldn't worry the boys, right?

* * *

"Aw, but I thought we could go see them!" Alfred whined, fiddling with his jacket collar.

"You're already on a tight leash returning back to bed completely _soaked_ last night," Matthew said. "What were you doing, anyway?"  
The two brothers were waiting underneath the stage, ready and waiting for their call. Yao wasn't here yet, and Matthew was quietly stressing but Alfred preferred to stress…loudly.

They were wearing their formal outfits for tonight, and Alfred wouldn't stop pulling at his collar and Matthew thought that his waistcoat and chain was really a _little_ much for a Broadcast, but there were more things on each of the brothers' mind than their clothes.

"I wanna go see them!" Alfred said again, looking hopefully onto the stage above them. "Bet I can go sneak up again?"

"We were five," Matthew said dryly, attempting for the countless time to stuff his chain into his pocket. "But if you would like to, be my guest-"

A jangling of a door handle interrupted them, and Alfred and Matthew excitedly looked in the direction of the noise.

"The Jack wants to see you before you go on air." the guard said, gesturing to Yao before bowing out.

"Hello, boys," Yao said in greeting. Alfred and Matthew gathered around him, Alfred clamouring for news of the Elite and Matthew just relieved for the three of them to be together again.

"Can I see them? Can I see them?" Alfred laughed, jumping up and down like a child.

"Well, if you really want to, I suppose that your advisors don't have to know." Yao said with a fond smile.

"Any news from the port?" Matthew asked. It was a polite thing to say since he and Yao temporarily shared the duties of the Queen between them. Secretly, though, he longed for news of Gilbert from time to time.

"No, there's nothing new. There have just been a few…" Yao suddenly looked like as if he was struggling, and Alfred even stopped bouncing on the spot.

"What's wrong, Yao?" they both asked, concern for their guardian in their tones.

He clasped his hands together, and his eyes darted from side to side before he pressed his mouth into a thin line and spoke slowly.

"I do not mean to alarm you, but…Diamonds have just sent a message about the rebels.""What? But I thought they weren't-"

"What? But I thought they weren't-"

"That is not all." Yao said, his expression turning increasingly troubled. "Jack Vash has been reluctant to share information with us ever since they left our border with Clubs. So have the rest of the Suit. Now we have the possibility of a Joker attack from tomorrow morning or even…even tonight."The brothers shared a horrified expression for a moment, before trying their best to ask questions in a way that wouldn't overwhelm him.

The brothers shared a horrified expression for a moment, before trying their best to ask questions in a way that wouldn't overwhelm him.

"Have there been any guards sent out?" Alfred asked tersely. His hands had tightened into fists, Matthew noticed.

"I've sent out as much as I can as Jack. However, I just had a meeting with the advisors and they won't let me send out more. Only a queen can do that, being in charge of the military."

Alfred's expression shifted from an angry expression to an outraged one. Yao could tell from the clawed fingers stuck into his pockets that he was already blaming himself.

"Alfred!" Matthew said in warning, reaching out to touch his brother's shoulder. "Don't blame yourself, we talked about this-"

"If I had hurried up and chosen my queen now, there would have been no threat right now," Alfred said in a low voice. "Why…why am I so selfish?"

"Alfred," Yao said, his tone concerned, but he had already taken another breath and was speaking rapidly again.

"Yao-you wouldn't have to deal with them being so rude! Mattie, neither would you? Don't think I haven't seen how they boss you around. I remember the day Emma was taken away. If you had only…if they weren't stopping you, then she wouldn't have been hurt! If I could have become king by this time and have the power and influence of a queen, this would have all never happened!"

"We agreed on this," Yao warned, bending down a little to meet Alfred's gaze. Naturally, Alfred had grown far taller than him due to him scoring high in the genetic department, but Alfred was refusing to look up from the floor. Both Matthew and Yao knew that he was already trying to bite back tears, something that he would only do in private with people that he was comfortable with.

"Alfred, from the beginning we agreed that you would follow your heart. You will only make it harder on yourself and the Fates to anoint the mark on your queen, after all."

"But you two are suffering…and who knows who'll get hurt tonight because of me?"

"Don't worry about us," Matthew chided, Yao nodding in approvement. "What's important to you, to all three of us, to Spades, is that you find your queen. All right?"  
"All…all right."

"Would you boys like a hug for luck?" Yao offered. It had been a custom ever since their parents had died and they were forced to be part of Broadcasts to take their places. Matthew would get violently sick and cry, and Alfred had terrible stomach cramps and tantrums that only Yao could only soothe. Even now, the two of them surrounded the Jack as the three of them hugged, security and comfort all packed into that one gesture.

"I can't even begin to say how proud I am of the two of you," he said, the sensation of the two of them having largely changed as they grew. Gone were the willowy frames and teary eyes, strong arms and freshly pressed uniforms filled his sense. Gone were the little wails, the yelling…deep voices and defined eyes had replaced them throughout the years.

 _You two have grown up too fast, right?_

* * *

"Sometimes I wish we could do an extra long segment for the Deciding." The Jack said good naturedly, to the laughs of the cameramen that were preparing off set.

"Less planning for us, I suppose? But again, I _understand_ that not everyone would like to see the fairytale love story between our beloved prince and his future princess."

It was like he had completely refurbished his personality for the Broadcast segments-from being the efficient, quiet hardworking Jack of Spades to a cheerful host with a strange, slightly excited sense of humour.

"It's a shame we couldn't have had the two boys come over earlier, but of course they needed the rest," Yao continued, his gaze drifting over the Elite and the cameras before coming to rest onto the advisors. They seemed to be muttering in agreement to something, looking comfortable unlike the other advisors that Arthur remembered from the last Joker attack.

 _Maybe there's a lot more advisors on the board than I think?_

"He's finally back," Emma sighed, sounding more lovesick than she had the entire week in that moment. "It's too bad we only get to see him on a TV set first!"

"That is true, right, Arthur? Sakura?" Alfonso asked, obviously trying to make conversation between them, a skill Arthur would never get the hang of even after being around all these people.

"It is a little odd to not see him for so long…oh, and his brother as werl," Sakura said.

By some unspoken rule after the Natalya incident, she seemed to be more incorporated into their little group of three.

"That's true," Arthur said after an awkward silence. Of course, he couldn't betray what had happened last night in the gardens, but his heart beat just that little bit faster when he thought about. He had wondered about how exactly he was supposed to face Alfred again, but just one thought about him made his legs turn to jelly and butterflies appear in his stomach. It-it wasn't like he was being love struck or anything-he wouldn't ever be as soft like his sister!

"Well, I _hope_ he's going to end this soon…" Emma trailed off in thought, smoothing out her blue tulle dress. They had been advised to wear blue for every Broadcast for public patriotism, but Arthur usually liked wearing blue nonetheless so it honestly didn't matter to him. Naturally, he wouldn't mention that the colour reminded him of Alfred's eyes, as well.

"I mean," she continued, crossing her legs to face Arthur more directly. "I'll be happy for whoever wins but I really can't with this tension."

"I agree." Sakura said. Her dress was a single shade of blue, a far plainer colour compared to her usual dramatic reds and pinks. The dress was straighter cut instead of the draping, flowing garments that she almost always used to wear. Arthur also remembered the flimsy, gauzy dresses Emma always favoured, now she wore more seductive reds and bolder clothes compared to the beginning of the competition.

 _We've all changed, haven't we?_ Arthur realized with a jolt, but decided to stop immersing himself in his own thoughts when he saw the lights of the studio begin to slowly dim.

He felt Alfonso tense next to him, and the very familiar cheering and clapping of the now assembled crowd and the Spadian kingdom's anthem blared in his ears.

Yao came on and did his usual introduction flawlessly, starting with all laughter and all smiles. But, oddly enough, Arthur could still read some tension in his form by the way that his hands occasionally fluctuated and his shoulders were tightened. He couldn't begin to imagine what had happened to him.

"Yet again, we are joined by our _stunning_ Elite…however, one of them that have left the palace since our last meeting will not be joining us this time. But of course, I am no longer the appropriate person to announce who has left the palace, because after their safe homecoming last night-and will no doubt be telling us about their trip to New England, they are right here! Please give a warm welcome to the men of the hour-Prince Alfred and Prince Matthew!"Arthur suddenly perked up, and he felt Emma shift excitedly next to him to face the right entrance where they would usually enter.

Arthur suddenly perked up, and he felt Emma shift excitedly next to him to face the right entrance where they would usually enter.

Matthew came in first, looking very refreshed from his long trip. The cheers were loud as he entered, but just a little quieter compared to the clapping and cheering when Alfred jogged in, waving and laughing. He was dressed in full crown prince attire along with Matthew, his outfit looking similar to the King's, but with a twist and lacking the large crown on his head.

Alfonso waved cheerfully to him while Emma squealed enthusiastically, and Sakura did a small happy dance in her chair. Arthur didn't want to overreact, only wanting to speak with him again, but found himself unable to tear his gaze away from the blond.

Alfred didn't reach him until he had flashed a reassuring smile at Natalya that his vibrant blue eyes met Arthur's, but instead of a gesture that would have usually made him smile as well his gaze dropped and he kept on walking, much to Arthur's confusion. After he had shuffled a little closer to Emma, he could see a similar shift in her expression to Alfonso's who had peered at him with the same, worried expression.

"What's with Alfred? Is there something wrong?" Emma asked nervously, casting a look to where he was now walking past Sakura and to his chair. "He…he seems like a lot more disconnected tonight than he usually is."

"Maybe something's happened?" Arthur suggested, his green eyes slanting in concern. "I guess, I hope we'll find out now."

"Perhaps," Sakura said, her expression at a loss, "Perhaps he has something on his mind? Princes are very busy, right? He might have a difficurt case on his mind instead of us."Emma and Arthur nodded, but as he exchanged doubtful glances with Alfonso they turned back to the front where the microphone was being passed on to the brothers.

Emma and Arthur nodded, but as he exchanged doubtful glances with Alfonso they turned back to the front where the microphone was being passed on to the brothers.

Tonight would be an interesting night, for sure.

* * *

ah, i would like to apologize for my hiatus. i'll do the best i can to make sure this doesn't happen again.

thank you all so much.

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them! go roast me or something pfft


	45. Unprecedented

short chapter. my bad.

 _emphasis on the T rating for themes and descriptions of torture._

 ** _i don't own hetalia nor the selection. they belong to kiera cass and hidekaz himaruya respectively._**

* * *

"Good evening, all citizens of Spades!" Matthew had stood up from his chair, his legs shaky. No doubt his brother was nervous, even though he had started it off as soon as he turned thirteen, but that didn't compare to the nerves Alfred was experiencing.

Ever since the Deciding process had started, he knew that there always would be people that would be disappointed that he had eliminated their favourite, but now it had gotten into the Elite there had been more demands, more annoyed people when he showed hints of wanting to kick them out. Alfred and Matthew had decided to not answer any mail for a week after what happened to Leon since he and Natalya were one of the more popular candidates. Announcing who had left had gotten more and more nerve wracking with each new elimination.

"…but of course, I know you are all eager to get to the juicy news, eh? Unfortunately, that is something that only my brother can provide." Matthew said, his quiet voice projected with the help of the mic, jolting Alfred from his turbulent thoughts.

Violet eyes bored into his expectantly, and he took the microphone, doing a barely imperceptible nod before clearing his throat and banishing all irrelevant thoughts from his mind.

"Thank you, Matthew!" he laughed, to clapping from the audience.

"Of course, I didn't wanna bore my brother dearest with asking him to do an introduction for me since I do one so well for myself-"

Cheers and laughter, like a comedy show for the crowd.

"-so for the people who have just entered the circle of the hip kids, my name's Prince Alfred and there's going to be a lot of stuff we have to go through today! So let's get started on the first thing on our agenda…everyone's favourite topic, the Deciding!"

This was met with clamours and cheers from the audience, and Alfred felt his smile, his mask, slip onto his face, a routine he had done ever since he entered his teenage years.

 _Don't react too much when they do._

"Unfortunately, it is my apologies that I have to announce that the lovely Lady Avie has left us this week as the eliminated. However, this also means we- _I_ am one step left to choose my queen!" he paused, waiting for the information to sink in.

People were clapping, no doubt, but he knew that there were also going to be angry mutterings, and disappointed faces.

 _Don't focus on that, Alfred. There are a lot more important things now that you have to worry about._

"What were her feelings when she was eliminated?" Yao asked, playing the host as well as he could, crossing the stage to smile for the cameras.

"She was…disappointed, of course, but after the receptions she felt like it was her time to go. And of course, I wouldn't let her feel like she was trapped here."

"But if it was someone else, would you beg them to stay instead of listening to their wishes?"

Laughs from the audience. Alfred tried his best to not think of the Elite sitting patiently behind him, probably _not_ laughing.

"That's information for later, I think? Possibly, I don't know, until a week before I announce who's won the Deciding. I guess I'll be ready then…"

Yao nodded, and Alfred was relieved when he led on from that point to make the conversation a lot more serious. He could practically feel people from all over Cards lean closer to their TV sets and peer intensely at him.

"We all know your Deciding has been going relatively successfully for you, but do you think you've found someone in your heart? Are you ready to finish this?"

"Uh…I dunno," Alfred trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I mean, I have pretty strong feelings for someone, but then there are other people that I really do care for and I don't want to break their hearts. And what if they're not ready?"

Yao nodded, talking to the audience again about what a considerate, kind person Alfred was then moving on with the news and other things once he was sure that he'd gotten the audience agreeing with him, but his own words had gotten to the prince.

This deep into the competition, it was becoming more obvious that the Elite were also eager to end this. With the more intricate, fancy clothes that they had all worn tonight, it seemed like they were trying to earn his attention. A pang ran through his stomach as he realized that he had walked past them straight away as if he didn't care. Craning his neck, he nodded to the group, his eyes meeting each other theirs in turn.

Alfonso was a rock as always, genuine support in his expression, and Emma was as cheerful as always, waving and sticking out her tongue in a playful gesture. Sakura smiled sweetly, her eyes sparkling like dark gems, and Natalya winked in a gesture that was more reassuring than teasing. Marianne glanced at him softly, although the expression was something that made Alfred's heart race faster for all the interesting reasons, and when he finally allowed his gaze to meet Arthur's, the other boy smiled, but his face was something full of confusion, but it was filled with shy happiness all the same.

With the support of his Elite behind him, he felt like making the announcement right now. He wouldn't dare look at his advisors, no doubt marking down every little movement and things he said for their game of pawns, but he sat where he was, looking at Yao as he did a light banter with the audience, a routine he was not unfamiliar with.

Alfred's gaze drifted to the floor. He suspected that Matthew already knew what he was planning to do. Of course, his brother didn't know he was probably _going_ to do it, but he wanted to keep the looks to a minimum. He didn't want his brother to be punished in an act of rebellion he hadn't even thought of ever since his parents died.

Usually, announcements and the timings were handled by the King and Queen of Spades, but since they were Alfred's late parents the responsibility was passed onto Yao until the council elected to award the job to the advisors board. There was a majority voting, and since many argued that so much responsibility should not fall on a the Jack, who was slightly inexperienced back then, it was said that announcements should be brought to a council unless deemed urgent.

Unfortunately, Alfred's elimination days didn't fall upon the 'urgent' category and so he had to wait a day or possibly even _more_ to eliminate candidates. He knew that the process would be dragged out so that the advisors could have more control, but he couldn't speak out, because he knew what would happen.

His hands tightened into fists as he thought of the last time he'd been punished.

* * *

It had been only a few months before the Deciding. He'd called a whole council meeting, demanding to understand what they had meant by calling it off. He'd been so blinded with rage that he'd gone on to threaten to dismiss half the board in disgrace, and one thing led to another that he was talking to four or five of the more higher ranked officials, calling them _bastards_ and _tyrants,_ words that he knew that were stupid to use against them now.

And then the pain. Slicing and hot against his back, his wrists pinned to the table as the leather came upon his tanned skin and his screams had pierced the palace walls, on a day when Matthew and Yao had been off on a business trip to Hearts.

Matthew's shocked face when two weeks later, they were getting ready for bed and Alfred was buttoning on a black shirt on top of his usual onesie but forgot to pick it back up, Alfred's begging to never let Yao know. Matthew taking off his bandages and rewrapping them, half hiccupping, half sobbing as he unraveled the messy, rushed wrapping that covered the burning, bleeding flesh underneath, as Alfred muffled his screams and his crying into his shoulder. Alfred trying too, _too_ hard not to flinch next time he walked past any of them.

 _I have to get past that,_ Alfred reminded himself harshly. _If I can't be strong for myself, I can't be strong for my queen, either._

 _I'll never;_ _ **ever**_ _let any of them lay a finger on my queen!_

* * *

"Uh, Your Highness?" Alfred asked suddenly, getting up. His legs felt like jelly, but he managed to stay on his feet.

"Yes, Prince Alfred?" Yao asked, his tone quizzical as he swiveled away from the audience. "Do you need something?"

"I, uh, want to announce something," Alfred said, his voice stuttering as Yao handed him the microphone and nodded.

"As...as you all may know, the Deciding has three main components – the interactions with yours truly, the reception which the lovely Elite hosted, uh, a week ago, and the magic trials. Only after these have taken part can I choose my queen."

The only thing he could remember in that moment about the process was from the book he had read about the events beforehand, he could practically _see_ his hand shaking as it held the microphone.

"However, my advisors-" his voice cracked on the last word, and he closed his eyes before starting again. "My advisors have not granted me permission to start the trials as they did not think I was capable enough of finishing this process. I am here tonight, ladies and gentlemen, to prove them wrong. _I_ am the Crown Prince of Spades, due to become the King of Spades very soon after the Deciding has been completed, which I am sure will be soon indeed."

Mutterings had now broken out against the crowd, and he could notice a few critical stares being thrown in the direction of the advisors' booth. Not daring to look at them, look at their responses, he continued, his breath stilling for a moment before speaking again.

"So tonight, in front of my beloved people, I announce that the Deciding will end in around January, shortly after the New Year. And not only that, I announce that the magic trials will be occurring in two weeks time. After that, I will quickly narrow the field to three and will present my queen then."

It was like his vision had tunneled to the audience, their mutterings turned into whispers and gasps of surprise. "Thank you very much, Spades. Have a good night, my beloved country."

Quickly handing the microphone to Yao, not wanting to see his expressive face in fear of rejection, he sat back down in his chair, practically feeling Matthew's gaze bore into his side. The crowd was a lot louder now, the clapping thunderous but the shock in the muttering pounding even clearer in Alfred's ears.

 _What have I just done? Have I actually stood up to them? Is this finally over? What does this mean?_

* * *

"What were you _thinking_?" Matthew gasped, holding his brother's arm and leading him into a spare room. He knew that they wouldn't be found for at least a few minutes, so he had to talk before anything else happened.

"I did it, Matthew," Alfred said, his voice sounding far away, as if he was in a daze. "I finally stood up to them."

"Yes, but on _national television_? They'll hurt you for this, you know they will." Matthew said, starting to pace as he ran his hands through his hair.

"How can you deal with this? I can't do _anything_ , and you've told me that you would never talk to Yao about this! What are we going to do?"

"I've been planning this for a while, but I was thinking tonight. My Queen and I won't get full ruling powers until then. So what if they try to bully them as well? I can't let them hurt another person if they're trying to get at power."

Matthew stalled a little at this, but still looked frightened.

"Alfred…you have to see me right after. I'll help you."

"It won't be as bad as last time," Alfred said, but his tone was unsteady. "I mean, you two weren't here and so they didn't hold back-"

"You just denounced them in front of the whole country - the entirety of Cards, even!" Matthew's tone had grown more desperate. "They won't care, and that's why it was a bad idea-"

"I knew you two brats were here,"

Before Matthew could finish, a small group of advisors stormed into the room and snatched Alfred's wrist, gripping it tightly. Alfred gritted his teeth, determined to not cry out, but it was very obvious he was in pain.

"What in the Fates' name were you thinking, you little maggot?"

He instinctively backed up, noting the gleaming purple badges pinned onto their lapels, showing that they were part of the highest rank of advisorship. If Carlos had been here, Matthew thought bitterly, he might have at least been able to stop them for some time.

"I was doing what I had to do," Alfred bit back angrily. "And like hell was I gonna let you sit back and choose my queen and continue to torment us!"

"We're ending this now because you're becoming too full of yourself." another one sneered. "After all, they've all been in your bed, right? That's all you really want-"

Matthew could see Alfred's jaw clench in fury before he tore his wrist away and landed an uppercut on her smug face. The tiny room erupted into shouting, and he tried to grab his arm and run, but when Alfred faced him again one side of his face was bruised and both his arms were restrained roughly by the three of them.

"Getting even worse by the day…" the third advisor snarled, forcefully tilting up Alfred's chin to make the prince face him. "Don't forget your

"Don't forget your _real_ place in this world, you little shit. You can't do anything."

"And _you_ ," the second one said angrily, her grey eyes flashing. "Won't breathe a single word to _anyone_ else. If you do, you'll be on that table and you'll be wishing you'd never been born."

Matthew let out a shuddered breath, but could only watch helplessly as he was forced to watch his brother struggle as the door closed on him.

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reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them.

replies'll be next chapter, i promise!

i promise next chapter'll be a little more positive oops


	46. Attack

i was thinking of changing the name of this fic, any ideas? i don't think the name is cool enough lol.

okay, first of all, i just noticed that we've hit _20,000_ reads (!) and 100 follows (?!) thank you! it's insane to know that we've come so far /(；ﾟДﾟ)/ (we're 7 from 300 reviews im gonna cry)

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replies are at the _end_ of the chapter since they're huge this time oops, so enjoy the chapter!

 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for uh, i actually don't really know what this chapter is because it's angst, then fluff, then i don't honestly know. too much description, maybe? but there's uh fluff**_

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"Do you know where the prince is?"

Arthur bit his lip and tried his best to not speak out, as the Elite were currently gathered around Yao, trying to find answers.

But even the Jack himself looked concerned, and stopped a general to talk before pulling out a silver device and standing stark still in the middle of the hallway to stare at it.

"I'm very sorry, everyone, but I cannot find him as well. Neither can I find Prince Mat-" he began, but his attention was caught by a shape running down the hallway.

"Matthew!" Yao exclaimed, forgetting pleasantries as he gently touched the prince's shoulder. "What on earth is the problem?"

"R… _rebels_!" he gasped, brushing his curl out of his face. "I was coming over to find you, and I'm sorry that Alfred and I ran off after because we had to talk about something, and then he went off for something of his own, and then I was running and then I peered out the window because the generals were making such a fuss and then-"

"Please slow down!" Yao said, then shook his head and began to walk at a brisk pace.

"The Elite, to me," he ordered, Matthew quickly walking by his side. "Prince Matthew, please lead them to the safe room. The one just beyond the rear left exit, of course. I will try to find a general to provide guards. Please stay safe."

With that, the Jack disappeared in a flurry of robes, and the rest of the Elite followed Matthew as they quickly went on their way.

"Your Highness, what has happened to your brother?" Emma asked, concern flowing in her voice. "Is he hurt?"

"I'm sorry, Lady Emma, but I do not know," Matthew answered as he kept his gaze straight ahead. There was now significant commotion in the palace, and Arthur could hear a few screams from above as they half ran, half walked to the safe room. He knew that he was supposed to be thinking about his own safety, but his mind was on Alfred and Alfred alone as they walked past the pure chaos that the castle had become.

Suddenly, he was caught out of his reverie as their group came to a sudden stop in front of a huge posse of people and 's happened?" Matthew asked as he shouldered his way to the front of the group. "Why can't we go through this way?"

"What's happened?" Matthew demanded as he shouldered his way to the front of the group. "Why can't we go through this way?"

"Apologies, Your Highness," a general said, bowing deeply. "This place isn't safe because the rebels have breached the premises on this side. I would advise you and the Elite to take the area curving around the archery grounds and-"

Before she could finish what she was saying, there was a loud commotion at the back of the crowd, and Arthur stood on his tiptoes to see a rush of people at the back moving.

"Thank you…they're here," Matthew said hurriedly. "Please, everyone, follow me as much as you can-"

The pace picked up at a monstrously fast pace, and Arthur found himself running and dodging panicked maids and guards that were shouting orders at each other. He could just manage to hold onto the shade of Matthew's hair, then he got too far so he tried to focus on Alfonso's and then he had to move onto Emma's, and before long, he realized that he had taken a turn towards the gardens.

"Emma, are you sure it's the right way-" he began as he touched her arm, but as the girl turned around, a terrified face with brown eyes met him instead, a maid instead of his friend. She let out a terrified squeak, and bowed hurriedly before scurrying away, and Arthur was left stranded in the gardens, all alone.

* * *

It only was a few minutes after Alfred practically stumbled down the stairs that he managed to limp within the proximity of the outdoors, where he knew he could find his peace. Even though his throat was hoarse from his screams and his hands shook carrying the now cold metal box, he tried to ignore the thrum of agony all over his body as he limped forward.

Mentally, he thanked the rebels, seeing that they were the reason that his advisors had finally stopped. Right now, it felt painful to even _move_ , but he knew he had to get to the gardens and hide from the rebels at the same time-

-Arthur. Arthur was standing in front of the archway that led to the gardens, looking confused beyond his wits. What was he doing there? Wasn't Yao looking after them?

"Arthur!" he grunted, trying to straighten up and walk towards him as if nothing had happened. He flexed his back once and bit hard on his lip to muffle his cry of pain.

"Alfred!" Arthur gasped, and Alfred found it in himself to smile a little as Arthur rushed to him and took one of his clammy hands in two of his. "Where…what did you do? You look awful!""I'm sorry," Alfred said, cutting him short. "The rebels are here, and…we, uh, have to get you to a safe room. Now."

"I'm sorry," Alfred said, cutting him short. "The rebels are here, and…we, uh, have to get you to a safe room. Now."

"Do you know anywhere?" Arthur asked urgently. With a tiny rush of warmth, Alfred noticed that he had not let go of his hand.

"Let's, just, uh-follow me."

Alfred stumbled out into the garden, Arthur following closely behind. Faintly behind them, he could hear the shouts of the rebels and the guards, but Arthur was too concerned for Alfred and his ragged, gaunt gait to honestly care. He trusted Alfred, anyway, to know that they would be self. Perhaps in a mystery bunker somewhere, or something?

He was a little surprised when they arrived to a seemingly false wall embedded into the back walls of the palace, but the real surprise when Alfred shakily put his hand on top of his and placed their joined hands onto a section of it.

"H…hey, can you open it?" Alfred panted, suddenly looking even more exhausted than Arthur remembered.

"Well, I mean, of course I could do it, I s-suppose, but I'm not even sure if I h-have the strength…mmph!" he stammered, but he was cut off by Alfred crashing his mouth against his. The kiss was sloppy, much like their first one, a mess of spit and tongue, but he found it sweet all the same, however jarring it was.

"W-what was _that_ for?" he gasped, leaning against the wall he was pushed against.

"Stre-strength! That's how the king shares it with his queen. Now, go!"

Shocked by the sheer bluntness of his words, Arthur hastily breathed an incantation that they had learned in Yao's classes, and the wall fell apart to reveal the lever. Not sparing a single second, he yanked it down and they both pelted into the safe room, Alfred slamming the door behind them as he slumped down against the wall.

Arthur followed him as he heard the door close, feeling a little winded and drained in the unique feeling after he had used some of his magic powers, but he was still in a considerable mood as the room filled with Alfred's heavy breathing.

He seemed completely drained, on the other hand, his blue eyes pained. It took only one sideways gaze at him for Arthur to realize that something was very, _very_ wrong.

" _Shit_ ," Alfred hissed, "I can't take it anymore. Artie…Arthur? Can you take my coat off for me? It's just…just, _please_! My shirt, too."

Arthur's cheeks reddened, but he went to do it as he was told, moving closer to him and slowly slipping first his coat, then his shirt off his shoulders. He could feel Alfred's eyes fixated on him with an unreadable, intense expression as he gently eased the shirt off his shoulders.

His fingers trembled and his breath hitched at the sight, the _feel_ of his sun kissed skin, his well-defined body beneath his fingertips making his mouth go dry.

Now that Alfred had so willingly and physically bared himself to him, it made something inside him thrum, something that he had never felt before come alive, something that was warm and intense at the same time.

"Heh, like what you see?" Alfred teased weakly. "You might not like my body as much when ya look at my back."

Nothing could have prepared Arthur for the sight.

* * *

As he continued to take off the garment, it stayed stuck to the skin, stained with blood. Arthur pressed his lips tightly together, forming a thin line. He decided to take it off, making a sticky, slippery noise in the process. The blond steeled himself for the sight, but still couldn't contain his gasp of horror.

Gashes lined Alfred's back, a few looking like they had healed at various different times, some looking only a few months old and some looking like they were just starting to fade. But six fresh slashes were piled on top were still bleeding, by the looks of things.

Arthur's mind reeled, his hands quickly springing away from his back as he took a few steps backward.

How could this have happened? Alfred was a royal, so protected, so _loved_. Who would do this - let alone want to? How could they have done this to him for so long without getting caught? Could Alfred not have gone to someone? He was above everything, _everyone_!

The questions unfurled in Arthur's mind, mingling with fear of the rebels and worry for Alfred.

Then, in a flash-he remembered the terrifying glares on the advisors' faces when he was speaking. How quickly Matthew and Alfred had disappeared after it had finished. How he had hesitated on their names even though his voice was steely and resolute.

How, even back at Leon's caning, how he had looked away.

He must have known how the two had felt.

Closing his eyes, Arthur walked off to the side and shakily picked up the metal box that he had been holding, unearthing a small jar of salve, a mess of plaster and bandages, and a bottle of saline solution. Finding a busted up bucket with a dingy sink that only had ice cold water, he dipped the cleanest cloth in the room into it, wringing out the water onto the floor.

"Th…this is going to hurt. I'm sorry." Arthur whispered, trying to regain a sense of calm.

"I can take it, I'm a hero, anyway! _Man_ , I could really go for a burger right now."

Arthur didn't have the heart to tease him about it any longer, and buried his nose in his hair in a comforting gesture before quickly pulling away and dabbing gently on his cuts, slowly working his way down to make sure the wounds were clean.

Erin had worked at an apothecary when he was eight and when she was still working odd jobs, so she was able to teach him how to do basic medical care. He was thankful for the knowledge now, trusting himself to not hurt Alfred by accident.

"You know, I'm still alive. I'll be better tomorrow for sure," Alfred hummed, feeling Arthur's soft hands hesitate every now and then.

"Alfred…you're badly hurt. You're completely exhausted, and you choose to comfort me with your sweet words? You…you got hurt because you wanted to end this faster for all our sakes! Have you even wondered about the possibility that _that_ 's not worth it?" he bit out, blinking fiercely to rid him of the tears pooling in his eyes as he began to prepare bandages.

"Hey…what are you talking about? Of course I'd comfort ya, I can't have you feelin' upset! And the thing is, uh, I might look tired and it might hurt like a bitch but I'm feeling good enough. They've been lording me around, making my decisions for me. They're not my mentors or my parents. They're just _using_ me-did you know they nearly got the Deciding to be dismissed and have me marry someone of their own choice? Thank the Fates Yao stopped them."

"Does…the Jack know? That they're treating you this way?" Arthur said, placing a bandage on the last few gashes.

"Duh, no!" Alfred huffed. "He actually cares about me. He's probably one of the few people who actually look after me for _my_ benefit. I know they're using me. Until I finish the Deciding and find my queen, though…I can't do anything about them."

He looked so dejected that Arthur slowly reached for him, meeting his gaze before brushing his thumb over his cheekbone, cupping his chin and gently kissing his forehead. Hands wrapped around his waist in response, tugging him closer and Alfred softly tilted his head, looking directly into his eyes. Arthur took that as a cue to rest his head against his shoulder, feeling the lump rise up in his throat. He burrowed his nose against Alfred's surprisingly warm neck, feeling his heartbeat thrum against it. As he closed his eyes he knew exactly what he was feeling.

 _So, this is what love feels like…_

* * *

After a few moments of silence between them, Alfred pressed a kiss against his scruffy hair, taking a deep break before speaking.

"Artie, will you tell me something?"

"I suppose. Alfred, dearest, can you please tell me?" Arthur opened his eyes again.

"Did you ever…love me? You've never said it outright, but neither have I. But did you fall in love with me, in the end?"

Arthur's heart clenched tightly, and he nodded, feeling the tears gathering up at the corners of his eyes. He knew this was it.

He'd never, _ever_ , be able to love Alfred for the rest of his life. He simply couldn't allow himself to stay, just because of all the sacrifices he had made for him.

"Of course I do, you idiot! I wish…I just wanted to do it forever."

Alfred's gaze faltered, and he gently lifted Arthur's chin to face him.

"Arthur, what are you saying? What do you mean you can't-"

"Please, _please_ , don't waste your time on me," Arthur said. "If you get hurt like this again, I can't…I know I'm not worth it. Please, let me go."

Alfred's mouth opened, but Arthur looked at him with pleading eyes. Suddenly, Alfred's speech at the Broadcast made sense. About not wanting to let someone go, about begging someone to leave.

"I…I...If you really feel like this, I understand. I'm sorry, princess," he whispered, and the shorter boy's eyes widened.

"What are you talking about? Are you taunting me on purpose? You _know_ I can't be your princess, your queen! Wh- _why_!" Arthur sobbed, letting their gazes meet for a heartbeat before letting go, and turning away and pressing his palms to his face to hide the tears spilling out.

"Hey…I didn't mean it like that, you know I didn't!" Alfred said quickly, wrapping his arms tightly around his shoulders, breathing in his hair, the smell of roses filling his senses.

"I hate you, you fool," Arthur murmured, but couldn't stop himself from melting at the sensation of Alfred's familiar, warm touch.

"You know you don't mean that," the prince pleaded, turning his body to face him, his face scrunching up in pain as he did so.

"I wish I _did_!' Arthur bit his lip in frustration. "But what you've done for me, for _all_ of us, what you've endured, everything you've done…Prince Alfred, I _swear_ you've made me fall in love with you and I just can't ever seem to climb my way out. But I've just realized I _don'_ t want to, and you've made it impossible for me to hate you."

"Pl-please don't cry, sugar, it breaks my heart when I see you cry." Alfred's voice was soft, tender, and it made Arthur fall to pieces all over again.

"I'll-I'll never see you again, at least the way I want to-and it's all _my_ fault." Arthur's breathing grew uneven as the words flew out.

Alfred pulled his slender frame closer to him, and he instinctively calmed just a little.

"I shouldn't have been so annoying when everything was still so new for the two of us. I…I should haven't been so loud, so brash. I was holding back lots of stuff! I'm-"

"Alfred, it's not like that!" he insisted. "I should have…I should have been so much more accepting of your feelings. I should have been braver, I should have worked harder for our relationship."

"…you know, I was ready to propose." Alfred said sweetly. "That night in your balcony. Then the time I showed you the suite and you looked so beautiful among the flowers, and then I thought, I coulda sworn that you belonged there, that you were meant to live in that room."

Arthur's throat clenched, and he cradled Alfred's clammy palm in his own.

"If you asked me, I know…I would have said yes, I would." he said, giving Alfred a watery smile. So very different from his beam that practically radiated sunlight. How much would he miss them?

"Artie…let's not waste our time on what ifs and maybes. I know one thing for sure."

 _I love you._ _Make me wait three years. Make me wait a thousand years. However long I have to wait, I will still be yours, my Arthur. Please, don't go._

Alfred swallowed, and that was the only warning Arthur got before he brought the shorter male's hand to his mouth, brushing the tips of his fingers against the warm surface. Arthur extended that hand, tingly after the sweet whispers of affection, sliding it into his soaked hair and pulled himself to meet him. The certainty, the _stability_ that Alfred, and Alfred alone could give him pulled down all of Arthur's defenses and for the shining golden boy alone his heart fell completely and utterly blindly for him. They weren't overly passionate or rushed, they were soft and sweet. After the first few hesitant moments, they both slowly relaxed into each other's touch. Something built between the both of them, not a raging flame or firework sparks, but steady warmth. The way, Alfred looked at him underneath his eyelashes, as if he was his whole world in that small moment…

…for a heartbeat, as they stayed together in the drafty room with the shouts and the commotion outside, both Alfred and Arthur knew that they were truly in love. After they both reluctantly broke apart, Alfred decided to use what little strength he had left and pulled Arthur onto the cold floor along him. "What's wrong?"

"I'm…I'm just really tired," Alfred sighed, reaching for his jacket. "I hope it's not too dirty."

"Your shirt took most of the damage." Arthur said flatly, but tried his best not to notice the stains. The two of them lay down on the floor, Alfred on his side as to not aggravate the wounds. Arthur was about to close his eyes when he felt Alfred's lips press against his cold neck, eliciting a shiver. "Princess?" he asked, and Arthur shifted to face him, the warmth from his mouth and the pet name making him feel just a little warmer.

"Sing," Alfred croaked, burying his face in Arthur's chest. "I love your voice."

He swallowed; looking at the other boy's fragility, then took a breath and began. He wasn't quite sure what to sing at first, and his voice faltered in the first few tunes, but as memories of his childhood with Allistor and Erin came flooding back, they spilled into his voice. He quickly found himself repeating those lilting, soft tunes, and after awhile he felt his eyelids drooping and sleep and Alfred's breathing calling him away from reality.

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mailbox (psyche)

 _regine_ \- i'm going to have to keep your notebook and frame it because oh my god all your reviews are always super long and blah i always worry if my little replies aren't enough for you. and aah, my chapters are getting more cliche, i notice! i'm trying to fix it but it kind of fits them so so well so i'm kind of torn. and the fight, well, i imagine that fighting is pretty significant in their relationship, so I'm careful to add as much of it as possible without getting too extreme. and lol this is where the real cat fighting and drama (well) begins!

and about the rebels, they're pretty much made up of the same stuff as the jokers. they're really pissed at all the countries because years ago, they passed a pretty controversial law that only allowed two jokers at the same time, so yes, it is related!

spades is a constitutional monarchy; which means all members of the suit consult with an elected parliament of some sorts, which means 3 or 4 people, depending which part of cards you're in, don't get all the power. so that's why the advisors are able to what they did, so…more cliffhangers lol.

 _pastaaddict_ \- *slams table* **_YES_**

 _russia says hello-_ good question haha. but i don't think they're necessarily _stupid_ , it's just that they're very _clever_ at what they want to do. and i suppose when people want things, they don't really care about who they hurt in the process.

 _galacticspoon_ \- holy hell bro welcome back! we missed you lol. oh shit i hope i didn't kill you with the fluffs oops. and about alfred picking arthur, i can't really tell you more but except go ;)))))) and more fluff this chapter. pls tell me if you need a AED bc i offer one free of charge

 _hearthorse -_ thank you! and honestly, i'm not quite sure what alfred wants. lots of the time i feel like he's got this all sorted, that he knows exactly who he's going to choose no matter what, but other times i feel like he might still be looking for something else…and it's a pleasant surprise that you're rooting for alfonso lol. he's always been a bit of an underdog and a little (read: very) secretive about his relationship so that's definitely a point i want to explore later!

 _anonymouswolf10 -_ ah no that's completely fine! some readers don't get notifications sometimes so i have to PM them. please tell me if you need me to, it's no problem!

and yeah, i understand about all hell breaking loose, and i hope you're feeling better. i'm sorry that you had to go through that…and no, i don't mind ^^

i'm actually really thankful for huge reviews, so no need to worry (and i getcha on the word limit lol.) no but seriously reading 140k+ is an amazing feat, you should be proud! i hope i get to finish it before it hits 200k, though…and let me see, diocesan's girls school or maryknoll's, perhaps?i've got a bunch of friends that go to either of them, but i study in an international school, so you're right!

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reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them! go roast me or something pfft


	47. Service

hi so i might be going on a holiday for japan on my birthday (drinking game: one shot for every time i mention going on a trip) so there might not be review replies next chapter, sorry about that!

also in case you guys have noticed i've changed the title. please feel free to suggest new titles/tell me what you think! i value your opinions a lot

also we hit 300 reviews? i feel like the need to do an oscars acceptation speech haha i'm so honoured, thank you all 3

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PS: I've decided to move the replies downstairs in case some readers are a little tired scrolling through mountains of text that's not me directly giving back to them. sorry, but they're downstairs, so to my lovely reviewers, please enjoy them after the story :)

 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for uh, i actually don't really know what this chapter is because it's angst, then fluff, then i don't honestly know. too much description, maybe? but there's uh fluff**_

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Arthur turned onto his side, blinking and rubbing his eyes as he sat up from his sleeping place, where Alfred was curled against him.

"What time is it?" Arthur said drowsily, turning over to face Alfred. Even though he had removed his shirt, Arthur had decided to pull his jacket over him as a blanket to keep him from catching a cold, and from his wound catching infection.

The only response he got was a snore. With a huff, he decided to move behind Alfred, removing then fishing in his coat for his clock. As his fingers closed on the large spade, he gently pulled it out, not wanting to injure him any further. The hands pointed to four twenty seven in the morning.

Arthur heard him grunt in his sleep, and took the moment to look at the bandages that he had applied before they had both passed out. They were a little stained with blood, but that was to be expected because the wound was so deep. A shudder passed through Arthur's system all the same.

"These will be have to changed come morning," he muttered to himself as he tucked the clock back in. Should he be going back to sleep?

He instead pulled himself up to a sitting position, keeping his gaze trained on Alfred's sleeping face. The other boy's expression was calm and boyish, almost like a child's. Arthur brushed his fingertips over his cheekbones in a soothing gesture, and patted his head as if to put him at ease.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

 _I don't want to leave you,_ he thought as he let his legs sprawl out against the floor again. _But I can't risk you getting hurt again because…because…_

Were these past few days really too good to be true? Could Arthur know for sure he could say it?

Taking a deep breath, he fixed his gaze on Alfred's handsome face and spoke.

" _I love you_." he whispered softly, brushing away his cowlick before kissing his forehead, in one of the last romantic gestures he thought they would ever share.

He'd finally said it. Even though he knew the other couldn't have heard, him completely exhausted from the broken night, it was a comforting thought to know that he had confessed, and that he had come clean. He repeated those sacred three words, but as he laid against his chest, he knew that there was no going back. Whatever he had to say, he knew that he would be gone past sunset.

He'd be saying goodbye to everyone. Emma, Alfonso, Leon, Natalya, Anna…

 _Alfred_ , his heart and his voice cried out, and Arthur suddenly had to fight back an urge to cry. The touch of Alfred's skin, his musky smell-it was all _too much_.

How could he bear to do this? To throw away the chance to marry the boy he loved, to see him in the arms of another, to watch as he grew old and had children with someone else? He didn't care about the crown any longer, and Heracles and Kiku had changed to become less of an issue in his mind when Kiku had entered the top three of the Hearts Deciding. It was all for Alfred now. Arthur's other half-

At that thought, he let out a sob, cupping his mouth in horror as he saw him shift and let out a small whimper.

 _Am I hurting you? Please, that's the last thing I want to do. The reason I'm doing this is because I just want to protect you._

 _Who cares about my own happiness, anyway?_ he admitted to himself. _As long as you're safe, and you're happy, I'll let you go._

Watching his tears staining the blue jacket, he tore away quickly, taking one more long, hopeless gaze before running out of the room, making sure that the prince was covered before he closed the door, his heart throbbing in fear as he walked into the gardens, which seemed to much bigger in the night compared to the day.

He couldn't bear to see Alfred one more time before he left him forever.

* * *

 _hours earlier_

It was quiet as Yao waited.

For however long, he didn't know. These rebel attacks could even last for a whole day, and even though he had been holed up in this tiny safe room for much longer, six hours had been wasted on going through paperwork and trying to relieve Matthew's workload, and perhaps Alfred's as well.

The Broadcast last night had shocked him, no doubt. Of course, it had made him feel a little proud of the young prince since he had almost never so boldly announced something in front of the whole country, let alone one about the Deciding. More often then not, people from Clubs, Diamonds and Hearts would tune in to watch the process continue.

And what was with his tone when he talked about the advisors? That little detail baffled him, even now as he sat in the small sofa and was clutching a mini port, going through the few documents he was able to save.

He himself had never like the group, sure, but if they stayed out of his way and allowed him to do his job, he wouldn't mind them nearly as much. But it seemed like something else had happened personally between Alfred and the advisors.

 _I will have to ask come morning_ , Yao mused as he placed the device down on the nearby stool. It was a little piece of luxury inside the safe room. The Jack sighed as he dabbed at his sweaty forehead and closed his eyes, reclining against the drafty wall-

Wait. A message? He got up almost instantaneously, getting to the port in long, brisk strides. It was almost certainly from inside the castle, because with experience he knew that the Joker rebels would, at least attempt to cut all connections to other kingdoms so that they weren't allowed to get help. And recently, they had begun to do an information blockade to protect more and more sensitive information stored in the port servers. Once accessed, it could easily help destroy Spades as a kingdom.

Perhaps one of the generals had taken refuge in one of the bases? Even though the attack had only just started, the rebels would sometimes cut wires located slightly outside of the palace perimeter.

So it shocked him to no end when the miniport went an enthusiastic ' _pi pi pi_ ' and the background of the incoming notification flashed a pale _green_.

 _How on Earth had Clubs gotten through the blockade?_ Yao asked himself, his mind racing as he accepted the call and the familiar buzz of the device met his ear. _As far as I know, it's nearly impossible-_

"Hello?" A thick accent seemed to almost resonate around the tiny room.

Yao almost dropped the port in shock.

" _What_ are you- _Ivan?_ " Yao almost screamed. Just when it was probably the most unsafe time for them to make contact, of course he'd call.

"How is my sunflower tonight?" he chirruped over the line, and Yao had to fight back an urge to smile, amidst all these problems.

"Ivan, it's not the best time right now." he carefully avoided the use of a pet name, but he felt a smile tug at his cheeks at being called so fondly.

"Why?" he could practically _hear_ the pout in the King's voice.

"Rebels," Yao said tersely. "And I am not sure how you could have gotten to us, but..."

"Rebel?" Ivan's voice had darkened considerably, and Yao instinctively started to pace. This was the part where Queen Elizabeta and Jack Roderich had to help him; this was where he had almost destroyed himself in their childhood.

"Yes. As you know, they have cut the connection lines and we-"

"How bad is it?" Ivan rasped, and Yao swallowed tightly. This was where he did something completely irrational.

"We don't know. It's just reached nine o'clock, there's no-"

"Listen," Ivan said, cutting him off again. As Jack, he was used to being interrupted a lot nevertheless, so he managed to keep his mouth shut.

"I have guards, near our border. I can send and they will get to the castle in flash, _da_?"

That came that odd tick in his speech again. Yao knew from the appearance of his _da_ and his significantly thicker accent that Nikolai might appear, from either fear or anger, or worse, both of them combined.

"I…I am _choosing_ to accept your aid," he said, struggling to get the words out. He was not sure what in Duchess's name had brought this on, but he knew that the palace would at least be safer with the Clubs guards coming along to help.

"I just want to see you safe, Yao-Yao." Ivan hummed, and he could recognize that his forbidden love was calming down a little. "I would not want to see your beauty hurt."

Yao did smile for real that time. This was like one of their typical conversations in the youth, when Yao had learned not to get as frustrated with him and Ivan had learned to handle his mind and his senses better, and to listen to Yao more. Ivan would get worked up, usually for absolutely nothing, and Yao would coax him to calm down with hugs and laughter, and the other would respond with kisses and a stream of compliments that he would barely be able to fend off.

"I miss your cute, chubby face," he cooed in response, and he would have given anything to see Ivan's shocked, blushing face in that moment.

"D-do you? Thank you, Yao! I love you!"

"Don't go throwing words around like that, dear," Yao said petulantly, winding a finger in a lock of his hair. He really wished there were windows in the dark room, somehow. "But you really must be careful."

"When I see you again?"

The question, quivering with anticipation and pleading, echoed in Yao's mind. He had half a mind to just end the call right there, leave him hanging. Maybe that would put a stop to this dangerous affair.

But did he _want_ it to stop? With a pang, he realized that he did not want to.

Logically speaking, this was stupid. But Ivan was the person that inspired impulse over thought, and that had led him to do so many things, good _and_ bad, and one of them was not letting go.

"…Your soldiers will be aiding us, yes?"

"I can't come with, though!"

"Afterwards, my _dear_ ," Yao laughed, placing the phone on his shoulder as he sat back down. "You'll have to leave quickly after that seeing our kingdoms are still on bad terms. But at least, I will get to see you again."

"…" there was silence at the end of the receiver, and Yao was concerned that he would have to reason with Ivan yet again, but afterwards he could hear his hair brush against the mini port. He sometimes forgot that he was speaking to Yao through a phone, and nodded and talked to himself as if he was there. The Jack knew this was because he was lonely, on the other side of Cards.

"Good! Be careful, Yao," came the cheerful goodbye, and then he was left alone in the silent safe room again, pawing at the display until it shut up and turned back to its familiar shade of blue.

It had been their customary greeting ever since. _Be careful_. Neither Yao nor Ivan wanted to imagine what would happen if anyone found out. Not only were they part of different Primary Suits and different Kingdoms, but Clubs and Spades were traditionally hostile, opposing countries. Not to mention that Clubs and Diamonds were more critical of same-sex relationships, so the pressure was on Ivan as well. If anyone found out, Clubs could turn on their king. Sometimes, Yao prayed for the Fates to help Ivan find more reason, to reduce the potential damage. He had hoped it worked, because Clubs had the largest shrine and contact with the Fates in all of Cards, but he persisted.

"…be careful, too." he spoke against the screen, fogging it up with his warm breath.

Yao could only wish for it to be heard, half a continent away, with the man who held his heart in return for his own.

* * *

The garden was thankfully untouched, and Arthur had come back to the palace basically unscathed aside from a few scratches and cuts from the bushes and one or two rocks that had probably been thrown by the rebels, as he encountered more and more as he walked closer to the palace.

The castle was dimly lit as Arthur's torn flats met the marble of the floor, and tried to navigate the surroundings to find Matthew or Yao.

To his expectations, he did not find either of them seeing that Matthew was in the safe room with the other Elite and Yao had probably made his own way, but what surprised him was the complete destruction that had raged in the palace while he and the prince had been in their own world.

He couldn't see any bodies, but menacing pools of blood lay all over the floor, some stained onto carpets, and some stained onto walls. Paintings and decorations lay bullet-riddled on the floor, some still hanging onto their hinges. Uniforms were strewn over the floor, some crumpled and creased and some stained with blood, and even a few swords and weapons lay untouched on the floor.

Arthur felt his stomach curl at the sight, but he steeled himself and decided to head up to the infirmary to perhaps find a maid. What he didn't expect to find was a stiff guard – general, judging by his deep blue uniform – standing outside his bedroom as he walked past it. His gaze latched onto Arthur as he made his way down the hallway.

"Sir Arthur," he said, and he stopped. He could barely make out the words anyway, but it was obvious that the general was looking for him.

"Sir," he practically grunted. "'M here on orders of the Jack Yao. Yer need to go d'wn to the safe room."

"But I must go see the Jack," Arthur insisted. "It's about the prince."

"H've you seen him?" the general asked, looking just a slight confused. The teen couldn't make out much from his severe expression, but continued to speak anyway.

"We…we were in the safe room tonight." he said, and the general immediately began to walk, beckoning Arthur to follow him. "He is still-" _What should I say? That his own advisors whipped him?_ "He is still in the safe room, resting. I did not want to disturb him."

"Mm. I'll lead yer to the Jack, y's?"

The general turned a tight corner, and then another and another until they finally entered a dark corridor covered with dark blue paint. It was completely clean compared to the other locations in the palace, but it was silent and didn't seem to have any rooms or doors.

"These are the s'fe rooms," the general said. Arthur came to realize that he wasn't grunting as he spoke, it was just that his voice was terribly deep.

"Thank you, General…?"

"Oxenstierna," came the response, and with a jolt of realization he remembered who exactly he was. He had been in the safe room with Emil and Leon, and he was the husband of the expecting person in Emil's family. One of his…father figures, perhaps? Whoever he was, he must have been someone important in Emil's life. Arthur had a second thought about secretly telling him that he would be all right, but he didn't want to complicate things especially since he would be leaving soon.

"C'me along," General Oxenstierna said curtly, his expression completely stoic as he placed a black boot on a set of secret steps. "This way."

* * *

mailbox

 _galacticspoon -_ lol i'm so glad you enjoyed it! i wonder if instead of going to college i could run a fluff farm where i sell newly made fluff pshaw. and thank you! i'm sure there are better writers than me but that really means a lot to me ^^

 _regine -_ aw, i bet it's really cute haha. and fighting is kind of hard to write but since it's usuk i think that it's kind of important in their relationship rhetoric. that and i really love angst. oops

and also the jokers want a bunch of things that'll be revealed eventually…and no, the jokers actually aren't immortal! they age a little slower than the humans, though. actually, spades'll stay the same when the queen is chosen, it's just that there's a fairer share of power between the primary suit. and hmm most likely it's shared, but it really depends on the magical capacity, etc. and yes, blame the fates. they meddle too much lol - and it's probably not a filler, even though i originally thought it was. and i will (to the best of my ability, thank you :)

 _hearthorse11 -_ ah that's actually a really cool idea! i'm not quite sure what/who the last two will be just yet, but that sounds like a really plausible plan for some cool, dramatic elimination. thank you ahah

 _russia says hello -_ i actually really liked your idea! i have been thinking of using more symbolism in the coming chapters (the simile you used was amazing holy shit i'm gonna frame it or something)

 _pastaaddict -_ muahaha i hope people won't mind some really cool exorcist scene when they finally deal with them lol.

 _anonwolf - (that's how you sign off, i think?)_ thanks for the review! ah unfortunately some things you might want to keep private so i'll keep off onto PM, if that's all right :) and muahaha feels and angst. i wasn't sure if there were too many feelings last chapter but i hoe it did work lol. and thanks for your input (i agree about the hearts thing - i was my 2 month weeb phase ok) it was one of the last things i had to change so that was a point i had to make…and to be honest for my 300th review, well, id didn't think people would actually like it so i actually didn't really imagine one, so i have to thank you!

* * *

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	48. Burst

in fact i did go to japan (i'm a year older now i mean?). and i'm sorry for anyone who got email notifications yesterday, i _thought_ i put this up on the document manager but lo and behold, i didn't. i failed

 **and i've rewrote the fifth chapter, so please feel free to go and read it again!**

not as many people this time, so replies are up here!

* * *

mailbox

 _guest_ 1- here you go, i hope you enjoy!

 _pastaaddict_ \- that's actually a really, _really_ good idea. muahaha

 _russia says hello -_ i'm not going to let the magical words come out for a while, i think. here i am thinking it's really funny to make them not say it for...fifty chapters...and then i read others' works and they say it at around chapter four and i just-

 _guest 2_ \- you've read my later chapters? oh god i have to rewrite (but for now he is shhhh)

 _hearthorse11_ \- did someone say hamilton - and thank you! you'll find out this chap

 _aph poland anon_ \- ah thank you! the selection is a very fluffy fluff series and it's fun to make it more angsty. i'm happy you enjoy!

 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for stuff everyone loves, cute fluffy fluff ^^**_

* * *

It was freezing.

Alfred's back hurt like hell.

Damn, he could _really_ use some hot hash browns for breakfast.

Turning onto his stomach, he could see the faint sunlight break through the doors. They were only through small chinks in the wall, but it was technically a sign to haul himself up and assess his situation.

His bloodied shirt lay in a corner, stuffed into a bucket of some kind? His jacket was carefully draped around his shoulders, which he pulled closer to himself because his chest felt cold.

 _Is this a bad side effect of working out every other day?_

As he went over to fish out his clock, memories of last night came flooding back. The pain. The fright, first with the advisors and then the rebels, then relief and terror for him when he saw Arthur.

Arthur. Duchess, he was here last night, wasn't he? The memories flashed anew in his head, Arthur's cold, yet soft mouth against his own, his gentle hands soothing his wounds, those green eyes full with tears-

-no. He wasn't…he couldn't…

 _Please, let me go._

"No," he said, under his breath. Where was the other boy? Wasn't he asleep? Alfred remembered his warmth, the feeling of Arthur's arms and his sweet voice lulling him to sleep. Where was he? He couldn't have left already, right?

Every cell in his body yelled for him to get up and find Arthur, but as he jumped to his feet he had to stop because of the searing pain on his back.

" _Achhh_ ," he groaned, and that's when he heard footsteps approaching the door. He quickly bit down on his tongue, willing himself to shut up. What if the rebels still hadn't left, and it was just-

"Your Highness?"

Alfred instantly stiffened at the voice, and his jaw tightened when he realized who it was.

How in Fates' name was _Ivan_ here?"

"It's me," he said tersely, already internally squaring up for a fight. "Unlock the door."

With a click and a loud _clang_ , the metal door swung open, and Alfred had to blink for a little longer to reacquaint himself with the blinding light of the sun.

All in his emerald-clad glory was the beaming King of Clubs.

Alfred stood there almost dumbly, half from shock and half from anger.

"Your Highness," he said stiffly. "It is…nice to see you well."

"Your Highness," Ivan chirped in reply. "It is lovely to see friends again, yes?"

"I'm _not_ your friend-" Alfred began to say, but stopped short when Yao and a pair of guards, one clad in blue and the other one green, rushed to meet him.

"Oh, Alfred," Yao sighed, and Alfred ran up to his guardian, hugging him tightly for once and not being embarrassed. Turning to both of the soldiers, they both bowed down in respect, although they exchanged confused looks at each other when they both rose.

"Where were you last night? And what's happened to you?" he asked, patting Alfred's mussed hair. "Sir Arthur came to find me last night, and he sounded very concerned about you. Has something happened?"

Casting a sideways glance at King Ivan, he took a breath before he spoke again.

"Can we speak…uh, in private, later? Because he's here, I don't feel like sharin'."

"Oh, very well," Yao said hurriedly, exchanging to what seemed like an apologetic look to Ivan, which baffled him all the more. Weren't they supposed to be mortal enemies or something?

"Now, I expect you are wanting to see Sir Arthur?"

"Yes. Where is he?" Alfred asked urgently, his frustration and confusion with Yao and Ivan (but honestly, Ivan) drowned out by thoughts of him.

"He's…still in the castle, yes, but he's in his room right now. He was rather distressed until a few hours ago. He cares for you quite a bit, from what I can see." Yao gave him a smile, but Alfred didn't stay too long trying to appreciate it as he started to charge off, but before he could jump up to Arthur's bedroom he could feel Yao's hand on his arm.

"I don't know what's happened to you, but you can't go like this to see him." his expression turned serious with a hint of concern as his eyes met Alfred's. "We'll have to talk later, all right?"

Alfred nodded rapidly, and with a nod he tore up the stairs, trying to ignore the pains in his back, failing to notice Yao and Ivan exchange glances.

He had to stop Arthur from leaving, someone he held far too dear to his heart to let go of anytime soon.

* * *

Arthur's fingers trembled on the suitcase as he struggled to close it for the nth time. Clamping down on it again, he held it down for a few more seconds before giving up and letting it go, marching around his room in frustration.

"What am I doing?" he whispered, looking out the window and the sunset in confusion. Anna hadn't come back from the kitchen as they were making late dinner for the Elite. Ever since he and General Oxenstierna had contacted Yao about Alfred's safety, he'd been more than happy to collapse on his bed and take a small break. He had woken up to a new outfit and a concerned maid, and the conversation that had happened afterwards had made his head spin – even now, as he thought about it.

But now, fears for Alfred arose in his mind again. Apparently, soldiers from Clubs had arrived from the border, coming out to help their generals in the castle while Arthur and Alfred were curled together. And for some reason, three hours after daybreak the King of Clubs himself had come to visit, a lone carriage in front of those golden gates.

 _Where is Alfred? I mean, I hope he went off to get patched up, but I hope he isn't avoiding me. I don't want to purposely seek him out and disturb me, but I don't want to leave without seeing him for one last time. To know that he's safe and happy, even after I'm gone._

Anna had been so shocked when Arthur had told her. She had argued vehemently against his reason for leaving, and he had been brought to tears after she had begged him to stay, for reasons that she had known from the beginning.

* * *

 _"_ _He loves you, Sir Arthur, even though it's not my place," she said, her normally calm eyes flashing. "And I know you do, as well."  
"But I'm putting him in danger!" Arthur sobbed. "I can't love him if that means he's going to be hurt because of it-"_

 _"_ _It's not just you. And does it matter? I've been here before," Anna pleaded. "I threw away the one person I loved because I was too poor for them. I can't bear for you to commit the same mistake I did before!"_

 _Arthur stiffened; Anna didn't like sharing her past a lot, let alone ever._

 _"_ _Some things are hopeless in life, and love is one of them. You have to let it happen. Don't push him away, please."_

* * *

 _I'm so tired of crying_ , he thought even as he pushed back tears and buried his face into the damp pillows. _Why can't I let you go?_

A knock on the door jolted him from his reverie, and he slowly got up from his bed, both dread and anticipation filling his chest as he opened the door to see a rather dim Alfred.

He definitely physically looked better than he had last night, with a loose white shirt and a pair of dark blue pants. On the other hand, his expression was so forlorn that Arthur couldn't help but run up to him and pull him into a hug.

"…can we talk, please? Alone?" he said urgently, and Arthur nodded, closing the door quietly.

"Isn't your maid here?"

"No," Arthur said awkwardly, confused by the small talk. "She's downstairs with the other maids, I think."

The two of them sat on his bed, trying to avoid looking at each other. But there was a sense of pining, a sense of _yearning_ that after a few minutes like this he couldn't deny.

"Alfred-" he began, but he stopped short when he caught wind of the other teen's expression. It was if he was longing for him, and before either of them realized it they had inched so close to one another that their foreheads were touching.

"Arthur," he whispered, his rough thumb running over his freckles. "Arthur, I…"

"I promise, this is for your sake." Arthur said softly, trying his best to smile. "You know that, dearest."

"Don't leave here," Alfred said, fighting back tears. His voice was uncharacteristically small. "Please, _please_ don't leave the Deciding. Please don't leave _me_. If you hate me that much, at least tell me you do!"

"Of course not! It's only _because_ I care for you so much that I have to leave! Don't you see? You got hurt because you wanted to protect us all!"

"How is that going to help me?"

"I…at least I'll go away knowing that I've made this whole thing faster for you!" he shouted, his eyes filling with tears. "Why else would I go away?"The prince fell silent, and Arthur noticed his hands tightening into fists on his bedspread. After a few moments, his fists unclenched and he turned to face him again.

The prince fell silent, and Arthur noticed his hands tightening into fists on his bedspread. After a few moments, his fists unclenched and he turned to face him again.

"You're not gonna make this any faster than it is now! You'll just break my heart," he said slowly, a hand reaching out to cup the back of Arthur's neck.

"Alfred!" Arthur exclaimed, feeling tears gathering on the corner of his eyes as he turned away. "I'm not _worth it,_ you know I'm not! Look at me, and then look back at you! Who would want me for a princess, let alone a queen? Why would you-?"

" _Stop saying that!_ " Alfred shouted, almost angrily. "I could go on, _forever_ , about how amazing you are!" he moved to face Arthur. "You're worth every single aching hour, every sweet minute, every perfect second." he cupped Arthur's face, streaked with tears, in his hands.

 _Will…will you end it, like this?_ He wondered as heated green and blue eyes met each other. _I mean, I'm getting ready to leave, and you come in and say these things to me-_

 _-but he can't. He has to finish the Trials,_ Arthur remembered bitterly, biting his lip. _That's why he got so hurt in the first place._

"How do you know I am? I…I…" _Come on, Arthur. You're trying your best to keep him safe. If that means making him think you don't love him…_ "How do you know my intentions are less than pure? What if…" _Stop stuttering! He won't believe you!_ "What if I've simply gotten tired of you? What if it's just the crown I wanted-"

"Arthur, if you really did," he said, sounding exasperated, "You wouldn't be sacrificing your chance to be with me just to keep me safe. You wouldn't be spinning such a desperate lie to push me away. I _know_ you, Artie. And this just proves it."

"How?" Arthur asked, half to himself.

"No one else's volunteered to leave just so I can finish this faster. Sacrificing our relationship for me…you don't have to. I know we both feel the same way about each other. So don't spend your time saying that you're not perfect. You don't need to prove that to anyone but yourself." Alfred replied, his tone firm.

"…do you really want me to stay that badly?"

"I…I do. Honestly, at this point I can't really see all _this_ ," he gestured towards his wide open wardrobe full of clothes. "This Deciding-heck, I can't see the rest of my life without you being in it. How could I go back my life now when I knew you would leave me so soon? I can't even begin to imagine it."

 _Me too_ , Arthur realized before he could say it out loud. _A life without Alfred in it? That's just unbelievable, thinking about what's happened between us the past few days. I can't imagine it, or see myself living in that way. But of course, I can't say it loud, so-_

Arthur simply looked into his eyes and took his hands, but Alfred wasn't finished, his tone becoming frantic as he spoke.

"You know, before, I…I knew I would confess to you when the time felt right. But if you really don't want to spend any more time with me, I – I _have_ to tell you now that I l-"

"Stop!" Arthur gasped, and Alfred's breath caught in shock as Arthur stopped his words with a pained look. "Stop, _please_! I don't want you to say it when we're both like this. I want you to _mean_ it when you finally tell me those three words."

"I _need_ you to stay, please! I'll do anything-" Alfred cried, but Arthur could see tears brimming past his glasses. "- _Anything_ at all…to make you stay with me. I…I don't think I can finish this without your help, I…if you stay, I _know_ I'll be able to say it freely. One day. _Pl-please_ , give me that time."

"I would as well, but…" Arthur trailed off to brush a stray tear from his cheek. "I just want you to be safe, darling."

"You know, I…I believe that there's gonna be a time where our love overpowers our pride. That we can both say, freely and without restraint, that we are devoted to each other. I just need a little longer, I…" Alfred tilted his head so that he could keep that warmth on his cheek for a little longer.

"We both want your safety," Arthur said softly. "Look at the two of us, c-crying like children…it doesn't matter if I go home heartbroken, at least to myself. I need to know that you can handle yourself and frankly, if we have to sacrifice some time for that, it doesn't matter."

"It matters to _me_ ," Alfred said nervously. He moved closer and grasped Arthur's chin in a tender gesture. " _You_ matter to me more than all this. If you still don't believe, I'll use my time to convince you that you are. That I truly care for you, that you're more than worth my time."

He held his intense gaze for another moment, thoughts racing in his head. _Is this a proposal in itself? What does this mean?_

"If you put it that way, I, um…" Arthur let out a choked laugh in response, and ran his fingers through his sandy blond hair. Alfred collapsed onto the bed with a _huff_ , wincing slightly as his back hit the surface, however soft the bed was.

"At least…if you leave, take this," Alfred said forlornly, reaching to the small of his back. With a _clink_ , his dog tags came off, brimming with silver. Arthur watched with wide eyes as he tied it around his neck.

"But what…they're yours, they-"

"My father's, actually," Alfred said hurriedly.

"But it says Alfred, er, Jones?" Arthur asked curiously, tilting his head.

"Yeah, but he went by Fitzgerald in the court and he got to change his name to be that before he married my mom and became King. That's why the F in my name is after my father."

This made Arthur hesitate, and then he rolled off him, blinking at the canopy of his fourposter. The only sound in the room was Alfred's hand shifting across the bedspread to link his lukewarm hand in Arthur's, and their heavy breathing spreading out between themselves.

* * *

"What did you think this would be?" Arthur asked, after another pause. They were definitely having a lot of these, for his last day. "A love at first sight story…?"

"What did I think this would be?" Alfred echoed. "Well, yeah, to the love story," he said, running his thumb across Arthur's knuckles in a calming gesture. "But then, I met you."

"Are you saying that it's impossible to love me?" he whispered, suddenly sounding a lot smaller than he had seconds ago. "Am I that hateful?"

"No, of course not!" came the exclamation, "I thought that we would definitely run into trouble one way or another. I was anticipating falling for one person, and you know, I'd instantly know that they were the one."

"Would you rather have that then what we do now?" Alfred laughed, the rumbling in his chest sending tingles through Arthur's spine. "Who in Duchess's name do you think I am? Of course not. I mean, if it had gone like that, I wouldn't have loved the person as much as I l- _care_ for you."

 _...you were going to say it,_ Arthur thought, shuffling closer into Alfred's chest as he closed his eyes. _I know you were. Even they're not the three words, I understand. It's not like we can say them freely and with abandon. They mean so much to the two of us._

 _Goddamn it, why did I chicken out?_ Alfred practically screamed at himself in his mind, watching Arthur shift closer to him. _He was waiting for me to say it, I can tell. But does he want me to say it or not? He said before that he wanted me to mean it when I said it. Did I really mean to?_

"But why do you want me to stay? If I leave, that means less people you have to eliminate before choosing your queen."

"No," Alfred interjected, lifting Arthur's dismayed gaze towards him. "You'd make it _slower_ because I'll forever regret what could have been."

Arthur couldn't resist it in that moment, and pulled Alfred closer to him so that he could kiss the other boy again.

 _Did you know, my Alfred, that I would, too?_

"S – so, does that mean you'll stay?" Alfred asked slowly, almost all traces of _that_ feeling - whatever it was - disappearing into thin air. Arthur felt a pang of nervousness at his uncertain expression.

"Only if you promise to stay out of trouble and don't put yourself into unnecessary danger," Arthur said softly, leaning over to kiss his temple, but the other boy's hand stopped him.

"…Only if it means that you won't get hurt." Alfred said stubbornly. "I don't want anything bad happening to you on my watch."

Arthur broke his eye contact with a hint of unease.

"I-"

"Arthur," he said, all traces of pet names and playfulness gone. "Be honest with me. Was what you just said all true?"

He sucked in a breath in surprise. Alfred couldn't really tell a bluff when he saw one? But he sounded so sure back then…

"I don't…yes, it was, I just wanted to do what I had to, I needed to leave-"

"Has something happened back home?" Alfred asked urgently. Arthur noticed that his entire body was shifting away from him in panic. "I know your family means a lot to you."

"No, they're fine, thank goodness!" _If it were them, I wouldn't be here._

"But then why would you want to leave? Do you h-hate me _that_ much?" his voice cracked on the last word.

"No! No, Alfred, it's nothing like that, you-" Arthur choked, edging closer to him, but he was shaking his head, his eyes filled with fear.

"Am I trapping you against your own will?" he asked, half to himself and half to Arthur. His tone grew more panicked with every word, and he realized that he had made the other boy so confused that he didn't even understand what he was doing.

"Do you not care for me at all?" his tone was now panicked, and he gripped Arthur's shoulder tightly.

"When have I said that?" Arthur insisted, gripping his hand tightly. "When have I _ever_ I said I don't care for you? You know how I feel, you always have!"

"I _wish_ I knew that was the truth!" Alfred shouted back, his voice flying higher and higher in panic. "You tell me that you care for me, then you turn away and you get angry at me-"

"It's not my fault that we fight." Arthur replied flatly. "It takes two people to disagree!"

As soon as those words flew out of his mouth, he knew it was probably a bad idea seeing Alfred's fragile state. He could see the other boy visibly flinch before he replied.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice wobbly. "I didn't know I hurt you so much."

"Alfred, it's not like-"

"I…I'll let you leave any time, if you really hate me so much." he continued unsteadily, letting go of his hand and walking to the door. "I didn't think you would-"

"Just listen to yourself for a moment!" Arthur shouted, running after him. He managed to touch his arm at the last moment.

"Look at me," he pleaded, and Alfred did, those blue eyes welling up with tears. The sight shattered Arthur's heart.

"I never wanted to hurt you. I just…I just want to protect you any way I can."

Alfred's expression wavered, and he sniffed loudly, wiping tears from his sleeve.

"I…I didn't think you would even try to get away from me so desperately, after all the things we've done together. I-" he breathed, before letting out a sob and running out of Arthur's room, letting the door fly shut behind him.

"No, Alfred, wait!" Arthur cried, trying his best to run after him, but feeling everything inside him deflate instead. He curled into a ball and rested his head between his legs, cupping his mouth to hide his crying.

But before long, he felt the familiar, dreadful seizing in his chest. Arthur got up hastily, pressing both hands to his shirt and pressing onto the dog tags if he could somehow prevent it from bursting out, but it seemed to roar inside him, writhing and squirming until he finally couldn't stand it. It shot out of him, and he was blown backwards from the force. It wasn't some form of time manipulation this time, _thank the Fates,_ but as he watched in terror, a bright light shot out from his quivering palms, like how it had been when Lovino was there all the way back when he found out he had gotten into the process. But his hands had distorted themselves so badly, teeming with magic that Arthur never wanted, that he could barely make out where his hands began and his carpet ended.

It slammed itself into Arthur's floor length mirror, sending shards flying everywhere with a screech. Desperate, he crawled to the ruined mirror, his trembling hands trying to find some sort of leverage, some sort of clarity now everything had fallen apart around him. He tightly gripped a shard of the destroyed mirror, but quickly dropped it with a cry as it cut into his hand.

"Anna?" he sobbed, watching his blood fall onto the glass. Gripping his hand and stumbling across his bed to take the small, silver cord that could hopefully reach her in the kitchens, he shakily tugged at it. As soon as he did, he slumped onto his bed, clutching his injured hand and trying to bite back his tears.

"Anna, where are you? Please, I-I need some help…"

* * *

...oops. my hand slipped

this was originally gonna be mega fluff. disgusting. gross. they were going to make out and everything. of course, me being me, that definitely didn't work out. so this happened instead!

that said, this chapter was probably the one i edited the most. lotsa mistakes and bits where it simply didn't fit with the whole plot line. i hope this was up to standard.

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reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	49. Unprecendented Guest

hi everyone! back to our normal updating schedule lol. i've tried doing the spacing in the original word document before i paste it onto the document manager, and so far it's worked out great. please tell me about a few repeating lines if you do find any!

not as many this week...so they're up here again. depending on the amount they'll be up here or down there, so send your love haha. it really makes my day ^^

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mailbox

 _guest -_ thank you very much for your honest review. i understand what you mean with their fights being hard to understand, but i wanted to create the feeling of the fight being out of their hands, hence why it snowballed so quickly. it's the sort of apprehension that i thought that they faced in their relationship, but you have a very valid point. i will try and revise all their arguments and make them better in the future. i also think it's due to my poor planning, as initially it was going to end on a happy note, but i thought to change it to concede with future events. nevertheless, this has been very helpful, so thank you! criticism is as important to me as compliments are, so please do not hesitate to send me criticism.

 _russia says hello -_ it's angst oops. why not stir fry in your feels /shot and here it is, i hope you enjoy it! i say before i die from my gunshot wound

 _pastaaddict_ \- ah it did! fingers crossed i managed to keep that snowball effect ._.

 _regine_ \- please don't worry too much! i understand because of workload and things stuff gets hectic. as long as you're enjoying my story i'm very happy! and wow so many notifications i feel so humbled. and yes, lots of ivan's motivation is around yao. or he might want something from spades, we may not know...but at this point we don't quite know his motives are good or bad. and yes, hopefully! i've only touched on matthias and berwald a little earlier before with leon and emil, so tino and lukas will hopefully be coming into perspective sooner or later.

about the fight,i was thinking of creating some sort of hectic, snowball effect to the point where both boys are so confused that they're not sure what they're saying and just get into conflict then, but as the guest alsosaidi've honestly written that poorly.i'll be sure to go back and read on it again! and yes,arthur's powers are somewhat symbolic - we'll be seeing much more of them this last arc. the fact that his magic holds so much potential but is so unrealistic to look after could make him a little dangerous...andi would recommend that box of tissues haha. the rebels weren't meant to be like the ones in the book, but they are still rather relevant, so keep an eye out for them. oh goodness, thanks for the cake!

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 _ **as always,i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kieracass and himaruyahidekaz respectively. disclaimer for lotsa good rochu. mmm gotta love that romantic communism. more on matthew's point of view on things, and a smidge of prucan as well.**_

* * *

 _At the same time, however, three members of a Primary Suit are talking._

"Thank you so much," Matthew said, bowing down in a gesture of thanks and allowing Ivan to place a hand on his shoulder. Yao noticed, however, that he was still on edge as he rose and dipped his head again.

"Your assistance was invaluable." Yao seconded, giving Matthew his approval, gesturing for both men to take a seat in his study. Ivan happily sat into his, his feet wiggling, while Matthew closed his legs tightly and kept his expression firmly on the Jack alone.

"How is the palace healing?" Ivan asked, and Matthew tensed for a moment before Yao guided him to speak.

"Cleaning has been difficult, yes, but our maids and guards have done an exceptional job. Please remind me to thank your guards for assisting with the third left floor wing. I'm sure our maids would not have been able to assist with that pillar."

Yao tried his best not to wince at Matthew's formality even as he made friendly talk with him. If Matthew were like this, how would Alfred react? Judging from the reaction he had gotten when Ivan and Yao had greeted him in the safe room, there was a very imminent possibility that he would have to prevent _another_ fight breaking out between them.

To his credit though, they must have both been feeling very tense.

Matthew looked a lot like Alfred (a softer, milder version however…), and of course Ivan was on edge being in another Kingdom's territory. But as Yao sipped tea and sorted documents while keeping a close eye on the two of them. They managed well enough conversation that Yao didn't need to supervise both of them too close, unlike Alfred and Ivan.

To be fair to both of them, for some odd reason the kings of Spades and Clubs had usually held a significant distaste for each other. Perhaps it was due to their dueling countries, their long history of conflicting interests, or just something passed onto generation from generation, but Yao was _pretty_ sure that the mutual dislike had not manifested as intensely between Alfred and Ivan than he had seen before. Even as a child when he saw Alfred's father and Ivan's uncle interact, the room went cold but it didn't become completely charged unlike the current king of Clubs and Spades' king-to-be.

The instant the two of them noticed each other; the room was filled with tension, almost suffocating the room. The interesting thing was that they greeted each other like old friends, and on the odd occasion managed to get along. Even though Ivan was a little younger than Yao himself, he was still older than Alfred but for some reason that did not seem to give him any true advantage as they both shook hands and exchanged smiles that were terrifying to everyone else but not to each other. More than once he and the Queen of Clubs had to break up an impending fight that was usually more physical than verbal taunts - Yao wasn't quite sure what his counterpart, Roderich, did really - and the atmosphere remained terrifying for the rest of the meeting, and Yao had to endure an internal battle every time they met. Torn between protecting his charge and defending his lover (or vice versa, of course Alfred could hold his own), he usually relied on Elizabeta to help them out.

"…So, how many people were lost?" Yao heard Ivan's question, laced with genuine curiosity, and he could sense Matthew's discomfort at how earnestly interested he was in it.

Yao sucked in a breath. As much as he cared for Ivan, due to them being from two different countries there were some secrets that the two of them were bound to keep from each other. These things were trade agreements between different countries and their own, military strength, and policies that were only implemented in their country. Even though he knew Matthew was very capable for someone his age, he was still worried that he lacked the experience to handle delicate bits of information like this. He had a right mind to warn Matthew, but he had already opened his mouth to speak.

"King Ivan, please be assured that we only lost eight people in the carnage, and none of yours. They were lost where the point of impact was the worst, in the kitchens." Matthew said smoothly with an easy smile, looking slightly regretful as he said it.

He was blatantly lying. _How could he not?_

"Ah, that's such a relief!" Ivan said, looking pleased. "If I can help the families in any way, I would love to."

"That would be a pleasure," Matthew continued, sipping his tea. The only thing that betrayed his lie was his quick change of gaze to Yao's direction before fixing on Ivan's violet eyes.

That was very much an interesting surprise to Yao. He went back to calmly stapling his papers together, but he found himself feeling a little relieved how Matthew had handled the situation. In fact, Berwald had reported a little over twenty deaths, but regretfully he appreciated Matthew shrinking the numbers as if to reduce the illusion of apparent weakness in the castle. He couldn't help but feel a little proud as they continued conversing.

After a while, when the sun had dipped a little underneath the mountain that filled half of Yao's window, he noticed a disturbance in the two of them. Hastily abandoning his work, he prepared to come to Matthew's aid, but he was surprised when the two of them rose and amicably shook hands with smiles on their faces.

"Well, Jack Yao and Ace Matthew, I cannot help but think that my guards and I have overstayed our welcome. If you do not mind, may I take a carriage back to my Kingdom?" Ivan asked, and Matthew looked at Yao with a hint of confusion. He couldn't help but notice how Ivan's slightly regretful expression slid onto his as well.

"Oh no, no, Your Highness," Yao interjected, coming to stand next to Matthew, patting him twice on the shoulder to signify a small bit of praise. "You and your soldiers must be very tired after your swift aid to us. Please, we invite you to join us for dinner tonight, and stay in one of our rooms. It is around noon now, so feel free to tour around our castle if you want to. I'm sure Matthew will be free to accompany you."

"But-" Ivan started uncertainly, but Yao shook his head and let some pleading seep into his gaze.

"You must, Your Highness," he allowed even more of his persuasive tone into his voice, and he hoped that Matthew would not notice. "We must thank you for your help." _Don't go so soon._

"…well, if it's no trouble at all." Ivan said slowly.

"Thank you very much, Matthew," Yao said. The three of them were standing outside his study, ready to go their separate ways. He assumed that Matthew wasn't very keen to lead the king on a tour, so he decided to pardon him in any way he could. "If it isn't too much trouble, may you please send a message over the port to Queen Elizabeta and Jack Roderich, alerting them of King Ivan and their troops' safe arrival, and to say that they will be staying the night? Thank you."

"Yes, my Jack," Matthew said, and he could tell that he was fighting back relief in his voice as to not upset Ivan. "I will do so immediately. Have a nice day!" He did a quick bow before quickly turning to leave.

"Oh yes, before I forget-please do check on Alfred for me if you find him? He seemed tired last night."

"Of course," Matthew said. "Thank you very much. I'll pass on your greetings, Your Highnesses." And with that, he had turned a right corner and he had vanished.

* * *

Yao and Ivan exchanged glances, and the two of them set out alone.

"Yao…" he said, keeping his tone low and his voice quiet as he spoke. "You really do not have to do so much for me."

"Nonsense," he replied, with a hint more sass than he had when Matthew was still in the room. "Could I give up the perfect excuse to spend more time with you?"

Ivan shook his head, and Yao nodded, offering him a soft smile. Two hands, one emerald gloved hand and one without, slowly linked and fell back downwards, partially covered by his blue sleeves. They made their way up towards a row of guest rooms, which they made sure was empty as Yao pried the door open.

"All right, I'll ask your maids to deliver your things to this room. If you're all right with staying here, of course?"

"Where do you stay?" Ivan asked, peering around the space. It was one of the most spacious rooms in the palace, complete with more security. Yao didn't want to tell him that his guards had to room on the other side of the castle in case they would hurt the Elite, but he could trust Ivan to not hurt any of them.

"Directly downstairs." he confided. "That's why the first floor central hallway is completely blocked off, because that's where the boys and I have our rooms. That's why I wanted you to stay here. It's far easier to come down in the middle of the night when you're here instead of three floors up and in the north wing."

"…co-come down?" Ivan stuttered, uncharacteristically embarrassed. Ivan had always been the straightforward one in their relationship, not afraid of passionately confessing his love every time they met or to openly show affection. But he was shy in ways that Yao credited mostly to his own older age, and he couldn't help but find him irresistibly cute in those little moments.

"Of course, you must be rewarded in more ways than _one_ ," Yao laughed, leaning on his tiptoes to kiss his cheekbone, feeling the warmth of his blush before he dusted off his robes and let Ivan walk around the room a little, but he noticed that he refused to let go of his hand.

"Dear, you don't have to hold my hand all the time to show your affection."

"But I want to," Ivan said childishly, and that was far too cute for Yao to resist. Nudging one foot near the door, he bent a little forward and tilted his chin to match his height as they shared their first kiss in months.

"Tonight, when everyone else is asleep," he said breathlessly, watching his hand fall onto his arm. "In your room, right? I'll be there."

The door swung closed.

* * *

 _At least_ , Matthew thought as he got up from his seat. _I'm following orders, not just skipping off._

"I'm sorry, Your Highness, I do not think he is in his room…" his maid trailed off, nervously curtsying before getting up again.

"Well, I'm sorry that I have to put off my quick lunch to find him, but the Jack asked me to check up after him." Matthew said, putting down his cup of coffee. "I'm very sorry, but I will be back shortly…"

"Your Highness…" his maid said, sounding a little teary, and naturally that made him rattle off into a mouthful of apologies, which she barely was able to fend off.

"Please, there is no need to apologize!" she exclaimed, but Matthew was already apologizing _for_ apologizing. It took them a minute to get coordinated, but soon after she was agreeing to eat her own lunch first before serving him, and he was out of his bedroom door in a flash.

He walked along the first floor, all the way to the west wing, stopping maids and butlers alike whether or not they had seen his brother. They all seemed to have no idea where he was, and even in the north wing the general he'd asked had looked blankly at him and shook his head.

On his way back though, Matthew had decided that he would go up one floor and work his way back; and he'd encountered Lady Marianne, who was casually walking around without too clear an intention.

"Excuse me, my lady?" he asked, running forward. She paused in her tracks and immediately turned to face him.

"Oh, Your Highness!" she said, smiling sweetly as she swept into a deep curtsy. "What is that you need?"

Matthew couldn't help but be a little confused by her eloquent speech, but continued on.

"Er, have you seen Prince Alfred? The Jack has been asking after him, and I cannot seem to find him anywhere in the palace his evening."

"I'm sorry, Prince Matthew," she said, sounding regretful as she got back to her feet. "I don't know where he is as well. Are you looking for him?"

"Yes," Matthew replied, feeling a little bashful. She was undeniably pretty, and for a moment he let himself think that if Gilbert Beilschmidt already didn't hold his heart and if she didn't belong to Alfred, that he had a chance with her.

All those thoughts flew out the window as he blinked again, straightening his glasses. He shouldn't be doing this based solely on her appearance. Sure, Gilbert looked undeniably handsome the first time they had met, but he was still rugged around the edges and was honestly the most annoying person he had met then. But as they got to know each other, he discovered his fondness for cute things that, for some reason, seemed to include him.

"Hmm? Prince Matthew, are you all right?"

He was jolted from his dreamy thoughts as Marianne's gloved hand tucked itself into his arm, her face mere centimeters from his.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry," he said quickly, jumping back. "But yes, I am looking for him. Have you seen him anywhere?"

"No, I'm very sorry but I haven't," she simpered. "Good luck with that, though!"

"But I must thank you for your help. Have a nice evening, my lady."

"Thank you," she sang, her tone sugary as she curtsied one more time. "Say hello to your brother for me."

He lifted Marianne's hand to his mouth, kissing it before quickly retreating.

The way her expression had titillated towards him, the flirtatious note in her touch, her devious stare, her sultry tone…wasn't she supposed to be loyal towards Alfred?

Shuddering a little, he tugged his jacket tighter around his shoulders before going on his way.

 _You'll get to see Gilbert soon. Stop worrying, eh?_

* * *

" _Agh_ , where could my idiot brother _be_?" Matthew complained under his breath. He'd even checked the hospital, in case Alfred wanted some help from the nurses instead of just sticking with his own fleet of maids. But he wasn't as stupid as that, wasn't he?

He was walking back down the second floor corridor until the idea hit him. Maybe Marianne was waiting for Alfred to return somewhere? Maybe he was visiting someone else in his or her room?

Of course, he wasn't usually allowed in the room since there was almost always a maid around, but he quickly explained the situation to the first maid there-Sakura's-and she let him through. He quickly walked past a few rooms, hearing out for some noises. Most of the rooms were empty due to thirty people being whittled down to the Elite, well, required a lot of people to _leave_ , but it wasn't until he reached the corner that he saw a slightly open door.

Confused, he walked past it, thinking that it was just an insight. But then he heard a noise, and naturally he couldn't help but eavesdrop, turning on his heel and nonchalantly checking to see if there was anyone else other than Sakura's maid, who seemed to have gone inside.

 _Clear._

After thirty minutes of checking, he came to the last room that was still occupied – Arthur's room. He heard noise from a hallway away and he twisted his mouth into a concerned frown, but it didn't seem to be anything affectionate like he'd previously thought as he heard crying from inside.

"…I just wanted to protect you any way I could." That was Arthur's voice, no doubt. What was this about leaving? His heart lurched at the thought of the other boy possibly blurting out the secret they shared.

"I…I didn't think you would even try to get away from me so desperately, after all the things we've done together. I-" Matthew could recognize his brother's tear-filled voice in a crowd of high pitched dorks, and so he ran forward, but barely had time to step back as the door flung open and voila, out rushed Alfred.

But there was clearly something wrong as he heard Arthur call out for him and the door slammed loudly. He ran a little forward before he noticed his brother, so that obviously changed his path.

"Alfred, what the-" he questioned urgently, but his brother had already clung onto him and was dragging him out of the hallway.

"Alfred!" he insisted, but his brother did not even reply to his question until they arrived on the first floor and he had closed the door to Matthew's bedroom.

Naturally, him being a drama queen that he was, he collapsed on his bed and began to sob loudly. Matthew stood there awkwardly for a moment, waiting for his to start sniffing into his pillow before perching on the corner of his bed and patting his brother's back.

"…what _happened_ , back there?" he asked quietly. "What happened between you and Arthur?"

"I just realized that I'm so much more scared than I thought I was," he mumbled into his pillow. "I was scared of breaking some hearts at the beginning, but now I've realized that practically everyone left has more than the capability of breaking mine."

"Why did he want to leave?" he said.

"He said he wanted to protect me, by making this faster. He said he'd somehow make this faster by leaving."

"He has a point there…but what's the problem?"

"I-I don't know if he loves me or not," Alfred admitted, wiping his eyes again. "Or that he knows how much I care about him."

Matthew raised an eyebrow. If only Arthur could have been hiding in his bathroom or had some magical power that could enable him to listen in, this entire Deciding stuff would have finished by now.

"Have you told him?"

"No… _no_ , of course not! He'll still run, and I don't think I can handle that, especially...especially now. And I don't know about the others. I'm…I'm just so _confused_ about everything right now." Alfred hissed, lifting his face from his pillow and resting his head on his brother's legs.

This was a rare moment of vulnerability that he showed. It was usually Matthew that ran into his room for comfort, and he would do the same, but the two of them knew that it was something more symbolic when Alfred did it to him.

It had been happening an awful lot recently.

"I won't say that I understand completely, because you're in a bunch of trouble now with love that I won't ever get." Subconsciously, his free hand went to fiddle with the iron cross. It glinted reassuringly under the sunset.

"But I know what you're feeling. I think it's a bit of a misunderstanding." Matthew said.

"Would he go to such lengths to do that?" Alfred growled. "Why else would he do it?"

Matthew had seen this before. Done it himself, of course. Nights spent pushing Gilbert's mouth away from his own, his eyes glinting in fear. Gilbert's devastated expression when he told him that it wasn't going to work. Fiercely pushing down that love into a crevice of his heart where it never would fit. How he spent years trying to convince himself to forget the one person that he knew he belonged with.

"He loves you," Matthew said, his gaze miles from where he was. "Alfred, he does."

"What? How do you-" he began, his eyes alighting.

"Alfred…you haven't seen the way he _looks_ at you. Sometimes, heh, I feel a little jealous he cares for you like that, in a way that everyone can see it." _Am I saying too much? I'm being honest, though. Every day, that's what I want with my other half._ "And I've seen the way you look back at him as well. You might not know it because he has such a prickly exterior, but he does."

Alfred's eyes seemed to fill with hope, pushing up amidst all the tears. It made Matthew remember his brother's dopey expression after he had first confessed to the other. Maybe this was going to be over faster than he thought it would be?

"But naturally, that's not going to work if you don't love him, anyway," Matthew said casually, trying to hide his smirk.

"But I _do_ ," Alfred said in a hushed tone. He squeezed his pillow, and Matthew thought he was trying to cover a blush on his face, but his face was still very serious.

"I guess you're kinda right," he repeated, in a low tone. "And if what you think is true…"

 _Winner winner, chicken dinner!_

"But he's still going to be upset," Matthew said quickly as when he came to his thoughts, the other was rushing to the door. "He's still upset. The two of you might want to take a break."

"That's not what I meant to do. I just need some time to myself," he said stonily. "But Mattie…what if he _doesn't_ , anymore? I can't forget that as quickly as this. I need time to think." he said, almost angrily.

Matthew watched him go with a surprised expression – he didn't mean to go to Arthur's, but to his own room?

 _This is going to drive a rift between them for a while_ , he thought, feeling concerned. _I hope this doesn't drive them apart for good._

* * *

As Matthew got back to his office, he spotted a small yellow canary at the windowsill. Thinking nothing of it, he proceeded to sit back into his chair and rub his temples in thought, until he noticed that the bird was slightly chubbier in size.

"Gilbird?" he muttered to himself, but after a moment went back to his own thoughts. It was so unfair, how Alfred and Arthur could so openly express their feelings. Sure, Arthur might not want to do it _all_ the time, and maybe they fought much more than he and Gilbert did, but he didn't have to be afraid of being caught or attacked every time he looked at Alfred for too long.

If Matthew or Gilbert ever did that to each other, he thought bitterly as he mulled over his amethyst ring, they would be punished without mercy. Even with looks shared across meeting tables or hands brushing 'accidentally' at dinner parties, they had to keep these to a minimum in case someone noticed the way that they looked at each other was more than platonic. They were just supposed to be friends on the outside, friendly allies thanks to his amicable nature. Nothing more.

 _Now_ he really wished that chubby canary really _was_ Gilbird. There was no denying he missed the Joker, since it had been months since they had even talked other than letters and written words, but between the rebels and Alfred there were so many things to sort out. He didn't even want to burden Arthur with his secret any more since it looked like he would be winning the Deciding after all, but it was at least a comforting thought that he would have an ally in the palace.

By the Fates, he missed Gilbert's _face_. Of course, he couldn't even keep a picture of him, but he would give anything for the Joker's brash grin and his vibrant eyes to be in front of him right now. His jaw clenched in frustration as he ran his thumb over his iron cross again.

Staring at the bird, which seemed occupied with pecking angrily at his windowsill, he paused and took a breath before pulling out a fresh piece of paper and pulling out his pen.

He was so engrossed with writing that he barely noticed when Kumajiro curled up at his feet and began to snore, or when the bird flew off, leaving a small, curled up piece of paper on his windowsill.

* * *

Early morning had now fallen upon Spades. By Yao's calculations, the other inhabitants of the center first floor - Matthew and Alfred, naturally - would have been asleep.

"All clear," Yao breathed, then turned around only to find Ivan's beaming face in his vision before being enveloped in a hug.

"Be quiet, you," he said fondly as Ivan giggled and peppered kisses all over his neck.

"But we're _finally_ alone together." Ivan said softly, tilting Yao's chin to face him. He flushed indignantly at the unfair height difference, but brown eyes met violet in a gaze full of distant memories and history that neither of them could ever shake off.

"Spend the night with me," Yao said, his tone deep as he leaned in, pressing their foreheads together. He searched those eyes deeply for any sort of fear, any sort of hesitance, but there was only affection in that gaze as their feet moved closer in a shy dance.

"It's been…forever." Ivan said hesitantly. "D-do you want to lead?"

"Does it matter?" came the husky reply, and his gulp was audible as a laugh emanated from his throat.

"I don't mind whether I lead. What matters is that I have _you_."

* * *

should i have put an emphasis on T for the implied? huehue. churros am i right

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reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	50. Bittersweet

SO here we are then! this is the last chapter of the _elite_ arc, which means we're officially leaving second book stage and coming to the beginning of the third and last arc, _the one_! yeah, so basically the story's ending after this arc. i _have_ been thinking about a sequel, but it includes a bunch of stuff like mpreg (everyone runs for the hills in abstract horror) so i'm not if anyone wants to read it. if you do, please tell me! i have a rough idea that will involve explaining why katya is the joker instead of peter, who is canonly the joker...if he existed. yeah.

naturally, i'll take a one week break like i did to catch up with updates (and hopefully rewriting some bits) and we'll get onto the next arc!

five reviews today, so replies are down there! one in particular is pretty lengthy so i won't leave you to slouch through it!

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 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for WORLDSTAAAAAR! and me being a gross meme, pretty bittersweet, and a big plot twist that i'll put you on for two weeks before poofing back.**_

* * *

Yao's bleary eyes opened to the light blue shade of his canopy, and he shifted a little higher on his pillows, surveying his surroundings.

His bed was empty save for himself, and with a jolt he realized that he was completely alone, and the chill came with the lack of his partner by his side, where he was supposed to be.

Ivan and Yao had never really had a proper 'morning after'. No cuddling, no snuggles, no coffee and valentines. The few times that they could show their true emotions to each other were rushed and lonely for both of them, and he found his heart yearning for more of him when they both parted.

Not wanting to dwell on that subject, he started scrambling around for his shirt, which was removed in the exhilarating rush of events last night, he scrambled for his reading glasses next, blinking rapidly to get his bearings. The room was still spick and span, thank goodness, except for the messy trail of clothes strewn over the floor. As he opened the closet, he saw that almost all his coats had been tugged off their hangers, with a touch of fondness he noticed his largest one, a thick winter coat, had been taken off completely. Knowing Ivan, he would want to make a speedy getaway just in case they got caught. Since Yao was that much smaller and less bulky compared to him, his clothes would be a lot smaller and honestly be a terrible fit by all standards.

 _I hope he got back relatively unscathed_ , he thought as he scrambled around for his jacket (for some reason, they seemed to be stuffed up a pillow but at least he'd found them) and put them into a basket for his maid to collect later.

Rubbing on his arms to warm them up again, he paused for a moment before he walked barefoot to his desk and picked up his phone, pausing for a moment before requesting his maid to come up and prepare a bath.

Afterwards, Yao resisted the temptation to go upstairs and check on Ivan under the guise of being too friendly with their guests, so he decided to bury himself in his work, and almost missed breakfast until his maid scurried up to his room, apologetic and worried because he hadn't showed up.

* * *

At the breakfast table, Yao almost instantly could tell that there was something wrong in the atmosphere. The Elite were chatting, but it was amongst themselves and more whispers than speech. Matthew and Alfred were talking between themselves, but their conversation sounded more like Matthew advising him against something. The Clubs guards were tightly sitting up on the other end. One of them stared at Marianne, took notice of her low cutting dress, and then turned a fire engine red. She responded with shooting him a venomous glare and turning back to Natalya, who was distracted.

Beyond them, Ivan sat on the front of the other side, his gaze slightly inflamed but carefully kept away from the princes, keeping his attention towards his guards.

That all changed when Yao slowly entered the room, and his expression quickly shifted to an excited one, his look cottoning onto him instantly. He quickly shook his head in warning, reminding him that he had to keep their gazes short and crisp when they were in the company of others, especially those that knew the two of them very well.

It wasn't too far in the morning when it started. Yao was asking for a glass of herbal tea from the nearby butler when he realized Alfred, on his left, was staring intensely at the other end of the table.

"Alfred," Yao said in a low tone, "Don't be so blatant with your staring, at least."

He had learned the hard way to at least help them to both 'blow a fuse' and not take out their dislike and distrust of each other. Matthew had helped, definitely, but since the King of Clubs rather understandably intimidated him, he was more helpful with Alfred.

"Why did we have to ask _him_ for help?" he whined, dropping his stony gaze and returning to his plate. "We can just ask Hearts, you _know_ we're on good terms with them. I haven't seen Ludwig in a while-"

"They were the closest," Yao continued, taking a slow drink of his tea. "And while we were still in contact and the rebels didn't cut the power lines, the King of Clubs managed to contact us on the port and extend his assistance. I'd rather you'd be safe."

Alfred didn't seem too satisfied with that answer, but with a little more prodding from Matthew, who exchanged exasperated looks with the Jack, he turned back to his breakfast. He could feel Ivan's intense gaze shift from Alfred to him, but he tried his best to ignore him as it continued.

Before long, he felt the heat come off him, and it wasn't five seconds later when he felt Alfred shift next to him.

"What's wrong-" he began to ask, but stopped short at the glowering glare he was shooting to the other side. Ivan was giving him _that_ smile again, cold and threatening unlike the ones that Yao experienced. The smile that he used only for his enemies.

"Don't look at me like that," Alfred growled, but it wasn't under his breath. It was loud enough for everyone else to hear. "I know what you _really_ want. Don't act like a hero!"

"What do you mean?" Ivan said innocently, his voice silky smooth. "Spades asks for help, I give."

"Cut it out with your accent!" Alfred shot back, pushing his chair back. "Don't play innocent with me."

"Alfred," Matthew said in warning, but his brother paid him no attention, stalking out of his chair.

"I simply wanted to help." Ivan said, his voice clear now. He had also left his seat at this point, extending his gloved hand. "If you want to provoke a fight, better not do it in front of your precious harem," he said, gesturing to the Elite who had gone completely silent.

Alfred's jaw clenched, and he stepped closer. "Don't you dare bring them into this."

"Bring them into what? I merely wanted to help the little prince…" he all but giggled as he lightly treaded the floor, his robes fanning out behind him. His soldiers looked apprehensive, and they looked even more uncomfortable by the moment.

"You're no hero!" he snarled in reply, his shoes loud on the palace floor as they met in the middle and he jabbed his finger into his chest angrily. Matthew exhaled in shock, and Yao's eyes narrowed. "Stop pretending that you are one."

"Well, how would you know?" Ivan asked, his smile more frightening than before. "You're just a little boy that can't even secure his throne, let alone save his par-"

"Your Highnesses!" Yao shouted tersely, standing up from his chair. His expression was taut with fiery anger and frustration, but there was cleverly veiled concern for the two of them as his eyebrows knit together.

"Both of you are acting unreasonable! Calm down, the two of you, at once!" Moving briskly, he turned to Alfred first.

"Your Highness, stand down immediately. You are disrespecting our guest, and it would not do well for us and the kingdom of Spades to have a poor reputation for thanking our assistance."

To his surprise, Alfred did not stand down, keeping his livid expression contorted to Ivan's direction.

"He insulted the Elite," Alfred spat, jabbing his palm into the other's chest so powerfully that the other had to step back a little. "Like hell he'll get away with that. He'd better goddamn take that back."

"Very well, very well," Ivan said, throwing up his hands in mock defeat. His eyes brimmed over for a moment and rolled skyward before he came face to face with the Jack of Spades. "I will take back little comment."

"Stuff that stupid accent back down your windpipe! It's not fooling anyone-" Alfred growled, but when Yao's cool gaze raked him with a set of confusing emotions, he bit his lip and stepped back.

"And as for you, Your Highness, if you cannot act least act _civil_ in a palace where you are a guest in, there will be no choice other than to advise you to stay in your room, or to alert the Queen and Jack of Clubs to safely escort you home." He allowed himself to feel a little satisfaction when both of them finally backed down, their postures almost as if they were hunched over to make themselves feel shorter.

"Are we _clear_?" Yao said sternly, folding his arms over his chest. " _Any_ more infractions and I will have no choice but to separate you for the rest of the day."

"Yes, Yao," Alfred said, scuffling his feet.

"Understood, Your Highness." Ivan repeated, his gaze stuck to the floor.

"Very well. Shall we adjourn for breakfast-" he began to say again, but the king had walked towards the Elite. Both Yao and Alfred tensed, but instead he had shyly extended his apologies to them, his gaze resting on Natalya before he hurriedly plodded out of the room to what he assumed was his guest room.

"Matthew?" Alfred said, his tone deadpan. "We need to talk. Now."

Yao watched the two of them go, Matthew shooting him an apologetic room as they closed the door. He sighed once, and then turned to face the very confused Elite and by extension the poor soldiers, who looked terrified.

"Everyone, I am very sorry for this disruption. The Elite, there will not be a lesson today, and so you may retire to your rooms or do as you wish for the rest of today. Sold- _visitors_ ," he switched tactfully. "I assume that you will be returning tonight?"

"Yes, Your Highness," they all blurted at various times.

"Very well. I will be speaking to your king soon. In the meantime, however, I am sure that our generals will be happy to assist you in a guided tour of the palace." He made a mental note to ask Berwald for that particular favour. Perhaps he could tempt him with letting Tino and his unborn child come over to the palace more? "In the meantime, please continue to eat your breakfast and do not leave this room. You will be escorted by our guards shortly."

* * *

The rest of the day passed without much incident. Yao decided to stay in his room and immerse himself into his work, not particularly wanting to face anyone after the fiasco that happened that morning. Changing from his more formal attire, which he had expected that he had needed in case he was entertaining their temporary guests and when he was taking the Elite's lessons, was swopped out in favour of a more work driven attire.

The only person that had dared to bother his work was Berwald, who had simply peeked in, nodded once, grunted then went on his way. That was what Yao appreciated very much in their company – the way that he could express so much in little words. Sometimes, with being around people like Alfred, the volume could get a little suffocating, and with Matthew the quietness could get too complicated when it was bursting with hidden meanings.

Of course, every little thought was everywhere but his work today. His thoughts were firmly placed on his boys, the whole situation with Spades and Clubs and how Ivan and Alfred couldn't even eat breakfast without igniting some foolish argument between them.

Nevertheless, he continued to work until the skyline outside had cooled from a dulled blue to a monochrome grey.

"Your Highness?" a firm knock came from the doorway, and he hastily walked to answer it, pulling the nearest jacket, a light green one, to greet them.

"Has something been brought to my immediate attention?" he asked, casting his gaze up to the butler.

"The guests from Clubs are ready to leave tonight, Your Highness," she said, bowing curtly. "Two of them ask me to commend the generals that accompanied them on a little excursion around the palace – authorized?"  
"Authorized. Please make sure that the princes are ready, and we will see them off tonight."

"Oh, both Prince Alfred and Prince Matthew are already downstairs," she said, with a wan smile. "No worries, your Highness, the maids have already organized a dinner for them in your absence."

"Thank them for me. In the meantime I will get ready, thank you for alerting me. I apologize, I was busy with finalizing the latest quarantine sites based on this year's magic forecasts."

"None taken, my lord," the butler said, bowing her head again. "I will see that the appropriate messages are delivered."

He waited until she was gone, and then he made his way to his wardrobe. Pausing in thought, he reached for a dramatic green coat with his signature sleeves before shirking his robes.

* * *

As he was walking downstairs, though, he realized that some, if not all of the servants in the castle had disappeared. He deliberately took a left turn, then a right so that he could see outside the floor to wall tall windows, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. A few more butlers and footmen, naturally, waiting to assist Ivan and then his guards back home, but other than that it seemed like a normal day, Yao thought as he turned the corner.

To his shock, a door creaked open as soon as soon as he walked near a set of unmarked doors. Panicked, thinking that it might be one of the rebels that they had not found, he shouted out a spell that made his assailant yelp and stumble back, but he saw a flash of green light and he already knew who he was.

" _Ivan_! We were attacked last night, you should know to not sneak up on me like that," Yao sighed, placing his hand on his chest. "You know I do not hold back on my magic when confronted like that."

"I wanted to see you!" Ivan said, his hands still outreached from the last minute blocking spell. "Any way I could."

Yao could almost feel his desperation, and almost ran to him, tangling his slender fingers in his mussed hair and bringing him to meet him, his smile quivering as Ivan's hands hungrily brought his face closer with every touch.

"More," Ivan begged, and Yao indulged him as he always did, as the other asked for even more, as much as his needy, wanting personality would let him.

They stayed like that in that small room, enveloped in the sensations of one another, blocking out the rest of the world in their small, snatched time together.

" _я люблю тебя_ ," Ivan whispered those strange words, foreign to his ears, against his cheek, but he did not even think twice about it, as long as he still had Ivan with him.

* * *

It was pouring outside by the time they had managed to sneak down to the gardens. "Let's turn back, sunflower," Yao urged, clutching his gloved hand. "It is raining now, and it'll be suspicious if you're drenched. Besides, you will catch a cold, in those clothes." "I will not catch cold," Ivan sang, his strange accent taking over in excitement, and by then he had already darted out into the gardens, to the other's amazement as he stood under the cover of the patio.

When he finally returned, half soaked almost like his predictions, instead of clutching a bouquet of horrific size that was definitely not going to go unnoticed by the gardeners, his hands had been stripped of their velvet gloves and he was holding a sunflower in each hand, their earthy stems still attached precariously to the plant.

"Here you are…" he said, sounding a little mournful. "Since we are of different countries and we are complete opposites, I will bring you good wishes with my sunflower." Handing one to Yao, he clutched the other in his outstretched hand.

"With this sunflower, I give you luck, as bright and as lovely as you and your smile, Yao!"

The Jack's expression softened, and he fought the want to envelop the other in a hug, but instead he delicately stroked the chrome yellow petals of the flower, as if he was whispering words into it with his fingers.

"With this sunflower, I give you magic, _my_ sunflower. With the power to save yourself and cast dreams beyond your own to protect the people you love." he said solemnly, pressing it into his wet palm. Before he even knew it, he saw glimmering tears appear on the corners of his violet eyes, and he was burying his large nose in Yao's chest, his arms wrapped tightly around his midsection.

"I don't want to be parted," he mumbled tightly. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Almost instinctively, like a mother would with a child, he ran his fingers through his silver white hair, soothing him.

"You know it is impossible," Yao said softly, but he couldn't stop the despair tug at him deep in his chest. "We can only love from afar. And that is what makes us strong. Like the moon – it stays the same, wherever we are in Cards."

Ivan did not reply, but only nodded mournfully. They stayed like that, the star crossed King and Jack of rivalry countries. They stayed as themselves, two people desperately, eternally in love.

* * *

It was too silent for his taste.

As to not provide any sort of clue to their previous gander in the gardens and to provide a suitable excuse for the reason of them skipping dinner, they kept their shoulders tight and their mouths even tighter. The farewell was a quiet affair, but the worst thing about it was that everyone else was formal and quiet. The guards simply bowed, not dipping their hats, and practically ran to their carriages. Alfred and Matthew were diplomatic in their approaches; Matthew shaking hands with an easy smile while Alfred and Ivan exchanged smiles full of tension and shakes with grips as hard as vices as they parted. The Elite were slightly more enthusiastic, with the exception of Natalya who stiffly bowed once then backed away. Yao soon realized that his initial idea of an aloof greeting would have to be drastically changed.

"I hope you have a good passage home, Your Highness," he said stiffly, trying his best to keep off a smile at the feeling of Ivan's hand encompassing his. He would have to try to keep that feeling for what? Weeks? Months? _Years_?

"Thank you for hosting us," Ivan said, and it was so much quieter, so muted compared to their shared laughter, the sounds he made, the things he said when they kissed and showed their love to each other through touches and affection.

Yao already hated the silence that had sprung up between them, which had already begun to forge a distance.

Then they had to let go, and as the King fell back in rank with his soldiers and left without as much as a wave and the Jack went back to his place with his princes and the Elite.

But as invisible, irrevocably tight bonds pulled them away, they always both heard a _hello_ within their _goodbye._

However dangerous that _hello_ would be.

 _Two Days Later_

"The new paper has gone live on the port, sir," his maid said, her hands neatly folded behind her back and a grin on her face. She had been with Yao ever since the very ending of his apprenticeship, as she had been born around the same time he had and she was training to be a maid when he was a scholar and the future Jack of Spades, so most formalities and social boundaries had long been all but erased between them. "This is why I went to fetch you."

"You have great timing as well, seeing as I've just finished doing weekly inspections." Yao said with a warm smile. In all honesty, though, he had been arranging for the magic trials to take place. Even though Alfred had announced a timeframe of two weeks, Yao knew it wasn't possible, however as he had learned throughout the last few days that he was eager to end this. Something more like a month would be more appropriate to get the grounds prepped for the trials, after all. Of course, if it meant more funding left over to fund those new kindergarten curriculums he had been so interested in for so long, he would happily take that on board.

"There seems to be an update on the Hearts Deciding!" his maid continued excitedly. "I'm not sure about them, but if it's anything to do with any Decidings I'm all for it!"

"Well then," Yao said jokingly as they neared the room. "May you go to Prince Alfred's room and fetch him a spot of tea? He seems to be very tired these days, and I worry about. You have my _special_ permission, though, to ask about news of the Deciding."

She was off in a flash, and Yao locked the door behind him, settling down to the port. He noticed a headline about the Hearts Deciding apparently completed, and he used his remote to store the virtual article for a later read. He scanned news for the article about the attack, and was relieved that neither Diamonds or Clubs had released some inflammatory statements; especially since an article that Yao himself had written had cited the lack of assistance from Diamonds.

There was nothing that was classified as 'breaking news', and he felt a little bored until he scanned up to an news report, which had in bold letters, something about the Clubs Deciding.

"Ivan definitely moves fast, doesn't he?" he laughed to himself, half mocking, half sad as he toyed with the remote in his hands.

"…the Primary Suit of Clubs officially released a statement to accompany these shocking images of a group of confused and distraught people leaving the palace today," the newscaster said. The screen flashed to a series of images of a group of people in a range of green clothing. One boy was holding himself by the shoulders, and two girls were huddled together in tears. The shot cut to the Jack and Queen of Clubs, the two of their expressions somber. Yao leaned forward in his armchair, perplexed.  
The familiar sound, flashing and clicking of cameras and reporters accompanied the video clip.

"It is with deep regret that our King has announced that we will not be continuing our Deciding any longer, citing personal needs and our yearly budget becoming increasingly small in order to handle such a prestigious event. We look to our citizens in understanding of why we have chosen to stop it so abruptly, and we advise for those in want of Deciding coverage to move on to the coverage of the Hearts and Spades Kingdoms respectively." Queen Elizabeta looked uncomfortable even though her tone demanded attention, and even though Jack Roderich followed up quickly with a reaffirming statement and another apology, the newsroom was left in uproar.

But no amount of sound could sum up the shock and turmoil in Yao's mind.

 _…_ _our King has announced that we will not be continuing our Deciding any longer...personal needs…in understanding of why we have chosen to stop it so abruptly…_

It wasn't about Clubs. It wasn't about their yearly budget. It was about them. It was about _him_. It was because of _their_ romance that he had ordered the end of the Deciding so prematurely.

 _I don't want to be parted. I want to spend the rest of my life with you._

The remote fell to the floor.

* * *

 _That Evening_

Dinner had been a weirdly muted affair. The Jack was apparently in shock after the abrupt news that the Clubs kingdom would be ending supper, and it seemed as if the mood had spread to the princes as well. Even though, Natalya mused as she waited for the ink on her letter to dry, the role of foreign affairs was usually delegated to the queen, Jack Yao seemed to have taken the brunt of the work, and this was the one instance he had not taken this in stride.

Her jaw clenched in frustration at how obvious the timing was. Ivan clearly had wanted to do this for his lover; it had only needed a fresh viewpoint from the constrained bubble that was Clubs for him to go so daringly after his wishes.

"You lovesick, insane _fool_!" she lamented, angrily uncapping the lid after she heatedly blew on the paper to make sure that the ink had fully dried.

"If I were as stupid as you about love, God, he would definitely have been beheaded by now," she muttered to herself, before signing her name with a flourish on the paper.

 _I hope you will continue to be as cautious as you were with handling me and my affairs in Spades, not counting my affairs in Clubs._

 _I remain_

 _Your faithful sister,_

 _Princess Natalya of Clubs_

* * *

bom bom bommm(mmm)

don't worry everyone i haven't forgotten the three siblings

* * *

mailbox

 _pastaaddict_ \- for a forbidden romance, it does seem pretty good haha.

 _thatoneguy_ \- you're busted. i know who you are

 _regine_ \- i posted the last one a day EARLY...so my bad lol. but i would say more _love_ than friendship, actually...and only on select days about select people! won't say who they are explicitly but it's pretty obvious this chapter. and same! i only got to touch on them _very_ briefly ages ago and i'm planning for lukas and tino to have their time in the spotlight, definitely. and thank you so much! i don't think they're the 'we squabble about little things such as curtain colours' kind of couple, but you're right on how arthur's magic will serve a more major purpose due to the weird timing that his magic manifests in. and for no 1, that's actually a good idea but i don't think that the clubs kingdom will think yao a worthy person due to his weaker magical ability, but i'm not saying that interkingdom marriages haven't happened before. for 2 and 3, matthew honestly has no idea. and it is probably a mix of those two answers. just think of homosexuality in olden (older?) times - burning at the stake and all that jazz. oho forbidden romance is one of my favourite tropes, and i guess i just ran with it. and of course, not smut scene, but it fades to black anyway ;)

 _russia says hello_ \- i'm happy you got to come back to this after a very tiring day! you can't help but love them together. it's definitely a theme, right? and it is _good_ to be back haha.

 _anon (swoland)_ \- wow someone reads my ffnet link for once and oh my god you are some sort of superhero because all 160k+ in ONE SITTING? boi you should be given a medal but here are some answers so enjoy ^^

1\. if i told you now that would be a **major** spoiler for the ending, but there will definitely be heaps of USUK in the story to come!

2\. actually, i left a lot of things to the reader's interpretation, and that's including the characters that are vying for the title of princess/prince as well. emma was supposed to be based on a feeling of a girl falling in love, so whether that's endearing or annoying is up to you! it's very fun to see your feelings about her lmao. and the whole concept of dating multiple people at the same time was based on the book that i put at the beginning of every disclaimer, but i think it changed a lot from the source material so i think alfred's reasons for drawing this out so long is because he _really_ wants to give them all a chance. and also, he's very mindful of everyone else's opinions, so he would definitely take in their popularity into question. and we'll get to see more of how he handles conflict a little later, so stay tuned for that. but yeah, he's kind of in fuckboy mode right now haha.

i'll be happy to answer any question that's not heaped with spoilers, so ask any time! i'm very honoured by your high opinion /

 **see you all in two weeks! unless i accidentally post a chapter again lol**

* * *

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	51. Return

and i'm back! god, too many things happened these two weeks. i got _literally_ addicted to fire emblem fates and for probably at least a straight week thought of nothing _but_. so basically my schedule after school was go work out for thirty minutes, do homework asap then fire emblem until i simply couldn't anymore. the only reason i slowed down around chap20 was because i didn't want to finish the game too quickly and that i needed to write lol. but yeah. the OST was, and still is!, my main writing track for the next 10? 15? chapters

also, i don't want to talk about the world's status right now. in some weird way, i hope this update'll lift everyone's spirits. but seriously, america, what in the everloving fuck? jesus, i went horseriding for the entirety of this week and even on thursday HK time we were looking at results while scoffing down sandwiches and doing crosswords. don't want to talk about the reactions. i know i'm lucky, living on the other side of the world, but it hurts so much to see my wonderful internet friends living in the states worry and cry about what's going to happen to them. so to all my sweet american readers, i'm sorry.

heavy a/n aside, lots and lots (!) of reviews this week, so they're all downstairs? quick question where did you all _come_ from?

* * *

 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for blatant mpreg (sorry), best friend visiting, and some dramatic old faces that you all thought i forgot about well you're wrong because he comes in with a bang**_

 _ **pun definitely intended**_

* * *

 _The scene is set in the Hearts kingdom, two weeks before where we left off from the last Arc._

"Here is your new study, Your Highness – I hope that you find these facilities to your liking?"

"Er, thank you very much." Kiku said, gingerly taking a step into the new office. It smelled of brand new paint as Kiku had requested a paler shade of red in the room, and had arranged to put in some glass panels for easier accessibility. The furniture was all brand new, Feliciano and Ludwig had both seen to that, and with a squeak Kiku set himself in his new, red velvet chair.

"Are all the measurements to your satisfaction, Your Highness?" Sophia, now his new assistant and advisor, asked, folding her book down and flashing him a smile.

Kiku nodded, but internally he was squirming in discomfort. The Mark hadn't fully formed on the small of his back yet, so even though he felt the title of Queen of Hearts, he still thought the title _Your Highness_ was unfitting for someone of his status.

"Is it all right if I have a little time to tidy up? Thank you, and please extend my thanks to the King and Jack," Kiku said, pulling a little at his bangs. "Thank you, Sophia."

"No problem, _Queen_ Kiku!" she laughed teasingly, then closed the door and went to wherever the couple stayed.

With a sigh, he waited until her footsteps had subsided before taking a look at his suitcase and beginning to unpack it in the room. It was full of those tattered books that he had stuffed in the suitcase when Arthur wasn't looking, a set of pictures, and the first outfit that he had worn to the palace. Hesitating for a moment, he slipped it on, relaxing in the comfortable, familiar fabric that was so much different from the new world that he had just been placed around.

Pulling out his chair, he organized a few pictures around his desk, making sure they faced away from the door in case any visitor would ask about them.

The first one he put on was a picture of him and Arthur when they were first admitted to the holding facility. The landscape behind them had changed since they had left, a Spades flag in the background instead of the now Hearts flag on its pole, and Arthur was missing a few teeth but he was grinning broadly and his arm was slung around Kiku's neck. Kiku himself looked a little embarrassed, but was offering his own smile accompanied by a little thumb up.

The second one was a slightly worn polaroid of the Hearts Elite with Feliciano, Lovino and Ludwig, right after the balloon fight. The King's normally slicked back hair was messy and soaked, but the Jack was smiling broadly and the Ace was half smiling into the camera. Scarlet's hair was stuck to her face and Toris looked like he was nursing an hurt hand, but all eight of them, including a soaked Kiku who had thrown on an overcoat to hide the shirt sticking to him, were all genuinely smiling, not just for the camera but themselves.

Kiku let himself smile for that one, clearing away a spot of dust before bringing up the frame of the next one.

He nearly dropped it.

* * *

He didn't even remember bringing it to the castle in the first place. Maybe Arthur had snuck it in?

The frame was the simplest of all, if it could even be called a frame in the first place – instead, it was just a simple picture festooned between two slates of glass. It was crumpled and a little disturbed at the corners, but as Kiku turned it around in his now trembling hands, the smiling outlines of his and Heracles' faces were as clear as ever.

Here he was, thinking that he had managed to completely forget him. It had been so many months ever since he had ever allowed himself to indulge in his own thoughts.

Surely…he was gone?

Taking a deep breath, he pulled out a drawer, ready to stuff the glass and him into it, concealing those memories forever-

He made the mistake of turning it around again. Heracles' messy handwriting stained Kiku's eyes, and it wasn't until he could see the distortion on the glass that he realized his eyes were watering.

Kiku quickly put the glass down on his table and swiftly went to wipe his eyes, opening his curtains and nearly being blinded by the new, very bright view of his surroundings compared to those of his old room.

The sun had reached near the top of the hill when Kiku was called for by another one of his new maids to the highest turret in the castle. The four turrets in the Hearts castle stuck out like four sore thumbs, but there was a sweet charm to them if you looked at a certain angle. Kiku had half a mind to decline, as he wanted to make sure his workspace was tidy and presentable, and let himself indulge in more memories. But per the fact that his Mark was not fully formed, and that it would be _exceedingly_ rude to decline the offer of two members of an esteemed Primary Suit, he sorted his remaining loose papers in a marked brown folder, then followed his maid to where the King and Jack were.

* * *

 _A place where the glamour and safety of the Hearts Palace is a world away, masses of people are lying in wait._

The cold was biting. It seemed like his fingers were completely numb and gangly from exhaustion, and he gingerly reached for the plastic pack of water. It took a few tries because his mind was so muddled from exhaustion and confusion that it took a few swipes to finally get a good grip on the sterile bag of slightly muddied plastic.

So different from his freezing hands, but as soon as it was in his grip he had tore it open and water had chilled his hoarse throat, it felt like heaven on earth.

The roaring clatter of gunfire stung his already battered ears and sense of hearing, and he wished that he could cover his ears and mute all his senses. But with the little experience he had, he knew that he would be shouted at and put on thin, flavourless food for a week for showing weakness.

"For all men that have not picked up their dry rations, form an _orderly_ line! All those wanting more than their share will be subject to immediate, severe punishment!" the lead general for their regiment was calling loudly again, and Heracles feebly wondered how he managed to preserve his voice. Too many of his fellow soldiers had practically lost their voices calling commands under the guise of the gunfire, and he probably only kept his by wrapping his throat in his hands every so often he was waiting for his round. Many called him stupid; almost all called him suicidal for looking like he wanted to throttle himself. He just bore them out with the flickering of the gas lights. No fireflies. It was far too cold for them to come out, anyway.

He watched men of all shapes and conditions – the lucky few that had kept all their limbs and strength and senses were always first in line, in front of those limping, guns still strapped to their backs, their movements ragged and gaunt. Heracles tried to keep his gait light and small, his arms wrapped chiefly around his thin uniform as he shuffled into line, watching his breath billow out in clouds as he kept his strength and slow walk. There really wasn't much of a rush needed for dry foods.

The real rush was when they served out hot food in the evenings. The men that could run _did_ , but instead of eating it straight away they wrapped as much of their bodies deemed natural, such as hands. Many times had he seen people hold bowls to their foreheads, to their cheeks, to their lips, rubbing it chiefly against a patch of exposed chest or rolling up a sleeve or pant to warm up a forearm or a calf. Heracles usually idly rolled it against his neck, hoping it wouldn't aggravate the half open wound there. Only then did they eat the now lukewarm meal, hands roughly grasping the crude, bent utensils that were given out. Beforehand, they actually resembled the ones that they used at home, but the soldiers themselves had to wash the entire supply of cutlery. But now, that the winter months had really settled in, the water gave the men's hands frostbite and their hands were rubbed raw after a few weeks. Only until half of an entire regiment's hands were deemed unfit to handle a gun that they stopped making them wash the utensils.

"Ohy, dream boy, snap out of it," one of the soldiers snapped, and Heracles shuffled quickly forward, trying not to acknowledge the stares at the two of them.

When his regiment was still located in the warmer regions of the Easterns, he'd had some more free time to himself as the training stage was only eight hours a day, leaving him with some free time to do whatever he wished. Mostly, it was sleeping, which was where he got the nickname of 'dream boy'. Heracles didn't like it all too much, but he knew that he could be called worse like some of his fellow soldiers.

There was that…and the constant references to 'his girl at home'.

"Karpusi, you. Curfew's at _ten thirty_ , no earlier." the general said sternly. "Go back to your polishin' and practice some sniping and don't get on a tether. No napping off anymore, boy."

Heracles simply nodded in a monotone movement, then clutched those dry, stale crackers in his hand and walked away, dragging his boots.

Fates, he didn't need a girl at home. He was in love with someone that was almost definitely a queen already.

 _How does that make it any better?_ Heracles cursed himself inwardly as he managed to find a patch of rock not completely decimated by the melting snow.

 _I still hope I can come back to you, you know. That's why I keep on fighting – not just for Cards, but for you as well._

He collapsed onto it, his mind casting back to the wilting, red chrysanthemums in the old camp, their petals curling into onto themselves.

The other men were talking amongst each other, but they were quiet nonetheless, all sounding a little miserable.

They rubbed the crackers over their mouths before putting them in, to try to drag them and the flavour out as long as possible.

Heracles picked his up and did the same. The stale taste did nothing for his appetite, and he couldn't taste the difference between dust and the cracker.

He watched dismally as another man two meters away from his lit his cigarette, the dirty smoke joining his breath. Heracles paid him no heed, just a flicker of annoyance at the blatant light that the enemy could probably see from the-

The world seemed to freeze as the man let out a cry and jolted back. His chest was torn apart by the gunshot, his pale coat stained with the crimson horror of blood.

His face mirrored Heracles' fear, as he let out a last choke before his hand smashed into the snow.

The screaming and shouting of soldiers echoed over the camp as boots stormed past.

His cigarette landed and rolled out of his limp hand.

The flame sizzled upon contact with the ice.

It rolled into the snow before it deflated.

A thought came into his diminished mind, as if he was in a dream.

 _Deep brown eyes, huh?_

Heracles had less than five seconds to stagger off the rock, gagging, his eyes desperate.

Before the bullets started flying.

He rolled over to the other side in a panic.

He heard a woman's scream from the other side.

A black, heavily built machine – probably hers - fell to the side, and Heracles could still see its blinking light.

Fear shot through his throat. Was it a bomb? Was it going to detonate?

* * *

The enemy's bullets found bloody marks in necks and legs and eyes-

* * *

A breath passed his lips, surely one of his last.

He watched the cloud dissolve into nothing as another agonized scream hit the air, fading as well.

 _You made me promise to come back to you. I will not stop trying._

Heracles buried his chin in the stained snow and prayed for the last time as he felt a man's boot, heavy and stained with dirt and ice.

It clamped on his head with a sickening _crunch_.

Pain bloomed out there, like a drop of scarlet paint into clear water.

After another moment, a gun clicked into place above his left arm.

His eyes went cold with terror.

The pressure, his assailant's foot, was on his back.

Aimed right above his chest. It would definitely hit.

Whether or not it was close range, he would not know.

The snarls of the gunfire blinded him.

The dark mutterings of his killer covered his senses.

 _…Kiku?_

* * *

 _Hearts._

 _A week later._

"What do you think? Do you like it? Do you think it's pretty?"

Kiku gave him a cheerful smile, and looked confusedly at Ludwig, who shook his head and patted his shoulder.

"Feli, it's not for Kiku, it's for the baby," he laughed good-naturedly. Kiku knew that the king was in a very good mood, simply for the fact that he was laughing. He had only seen the king's expression go from careful neutral to a wan smile – creepy or not – and this was the second time he had seen him laugh, other than the time he had found out that Feliciano was expecting.

" _Ve_ , but I want everyone to love it too! We worked very hard on it, you know." Feliciano said. As he turned around, the light caught on his Iron Cross, given to him by Ludwig.

"I love it, my Jack," Kiku said, his gaze softening as he looked around the little room. It was one that they would use when the baby was young, hence the proximity to the King and the Jack's room.

The skill that Feliciano had inherited from being a painter's son was proudly showed off in the paintwork.

Little ducklings and dogs were drawn on the walls, each one lovingly hand painted on top of a monochrome yellow background. Knowing their love for stories, each one definitely had a name and story to them. Multi coloured polka dots adorned the area around them, and as Kiku craned his head up a brightly painted blue sky greeted him, along with a radiant sun and fat, creamy clouds. This room was almost like a living painting. It wasn't very furnished as a _room_ , but it was stunning nonetheless.

"No more formalities, remember? Call Ludwig and I Feliciano and, well, Ludwig!" he protested in return, patting his shoulder. "But I hope you liked the dogs. I hope our baby will grow up to like them as much as Lud does!"

"The ducklings were the Joker's idea," Ludwig continued, leading him around the room, letting his eyes wander over the paintings. "He seems rather interested in the cute things."

 _Ah, the younger Joker, Gilbert Beilschmidt._ He was the King's brother, and occasionally stopped over in Hearts. This was usually illegal seeing as he belonged to Diamonds of late, but King Francis was rumoured to be a very kind man and let him visit Hearts on the ground of being related to the King.

"Oh!" Feliciano commented, and Kiku and Ludwig turned around. The Jack's eyes were curious, rather than something bad. "Is that the outfit you wore the day you came to the palace?"

Perplexed that he could remember such a fine detail, he nodded, and Feliciano seemed to survey him with approval.

"Hmm, do you think he should wear that as well when we formally introduce him, Ludwig?"

"I think it sounds like a fine idea," Ludwig said, and he turned to Kiku. "What do you think? That rather suits you, actually."

"Er, I think that it sounds like a lovely idea." he replied with a nod. Sometimes he could not help but appreciate how much counsel the two members of the Primary Suit had already given him in the short time they had been together.

The two of them looked satisfied enjoying the room, and he was keen to follow suit as well – until Feliciano made a sound of excitement and Ludwig quickly rushed to his side.

"Kiku! The baby's kicking, come and see!" he called, and with close fascination he put his hand on Feliciano's slightly swollen stomach and felt a sensation, like little butterfly wings fluttering against his hand. Gathering up the folds of his garment, he leaned in a little closer, and pressed his ear to it.

The fluttering feeling grew more intense, and the feeling was amazing to him; to have a little life grow inside him as if it was normal. Feliciano's body was never made for this function, but the magic in this world deemed it possible in such a painless way.

* * *

At that moment, Feliciano cried out, and Kiku jerked back, his eyes alighting with fear as he stumbled away from the Jack, his hands trembling as he doubled in pain. The Jack clutched the railings of the makeshift crib, and nodded twice to Ludwig, who in turn rushed to the side of his husband, removing his gloves and urgently pressing his hand to Feliciano's clammy forehead.

"Pressure point, Feli?" he asked, but Feliciano simply shook his head in response and Ludwig nodded in return, getting up.

He walked out of the room, but his walk was brisk and not the type of urgency that Kiku expected it to be.

"Your Highness?" he asked nervously, following suit as they walked down the turrets and approached the foyer. "Is there someone I should fetch?"

"Ah…" Ludwig said, pausing then looking at the big clock in the foyer. "Ah, can you go back to the nursery to look after Feliciano? He'll probably be around by now…"

Confused by the order but tempted to obey nonetheless, he bowed quickly and in a flurry of robes, ran back to the nursery, expecting to hear screams as he walked up.

But there was _nothing_. No shouts, no cries of pain. Just an eerie visage of silence, falling upon the quiet rooms.

Kiku practically forced himself up those stairs up to a pace that he could not handle, his chest heaving and his breath coming in quick pants.

He didn't even bother with knocking and entering as he flung open the door and ran in, his heart thudding with the terrifying possibility that Feliciano would be dead and his baby as well, the _heir_ , that this would be all Kiku's fault-

"Feli!" he cried in horror. "Are you all-"

Feliciano's wide, doe like eyes looked up at him. His hand was still on top of his slightly swollen stomach, and he was still sat in front of the crib, but other than that there was no blood, no sign of trauma.

It was like nothing had happened at all.

* * *

HE'S BACK

and i killed him sorry sorry

the pun tho no regrets

* * *

mailbox

 _anon #1_ \- man, you just remembered i've practically forgot about the diamonds kingdom lmao. come to think of it, that one little scene really early on didn't do much justice. and yes, switz would use a crossbow! i was thinking that he'd be something like an archer and/or prefer long range weapons.

 _pastaaddict_ \- *rubs hands together* yes, she has. i'm not letting her go out without a, um, bang!

 _cameranon_ \- oh, er, he'll come back into the picture soon, don't worry. he is sort of the main character really :)

 _oh, who am i kidding_ \- you have been busted come to skype to collect your sentence

 _russia says hello_ \- that means a lot to me woahh. i think this arc is going to be pretty long...hopefully not 100 chapters? lol. and thanks! i mean, i rarely see fanfic sequels doing well/having enough demand, so i've been thinking of at least a prolonged break after i finish _cards_. there's not even a title or anything yet, so it's still all plot bunnies for now!

 _hearthorse11_ \- there's not much elite action here at all, unfortunately! although i feel like kiku's story is also semi important...and dad alfred seems super cute, whoever he ends up with! you sound like you had fun, and i'm very jealous of your hamiltrash day lmao. converting her is also god's work child, don't forget

 _historichallucinations -_ welcome to the party! ohhh my god thank you very much! that means so much to me ^^||

 _anon #2_ \- good. sounds like a plan, but don't mind me if you catch me slipping some angst into our crops of fluff...

 _anon #3 -_ boi don't judge me too hard but i've never been in a relationship and they've never actually said those three words but thanks...now if you don't mind me i'll just go do my oh shit whaddup and unicycle out of here...

 _anon #4_ \- tbh i think the gods blessed me with this review so thank u

 _galacticspoon_ \- the uttermost satisfaction. reading my story has granted you 20+ years of life. you leveled up-

 _regine_ \- wait what? 50 chapters? lmfaoooo i didn't even realize. and you've been with this since february - god i feel old lol. and if you haven't read the book, i'd say you might want to put it off until you've finished it off. this arc is really different from the books, but it took a small element from the ending so spoilers all the same haha. but um, this arc is mainly about eliminating the candidates so that we have our queen and still manage to build their character arcs, and tying up all (or most of the loose ends, muahaha) so that the story feels mostly complete. there's also a pretty explosive ending, i'll leave you to guess what/who it's about ;)

1\. just saying, it might not _be_ mpreg...it could be normal pregnancy. but that's spoilers as well so i'll leave you to ponder hehe

2\. ah yes, katya the joker! we'll see her around the spades palace more in this last arc, especially with the trials, definitely. and no, peter's not here _just_ yet!

3\. tino's child! oh yes, he'll be coming in probably near the end, and i'll be sure to include a happy dad berwald.

4\. hm, i do think rochu's a very good 'forbidden relationship' type of couple for some reason. but i think due to yao's temperament and ivan's relative distance they _might_ not have as much time to chat as they would have liked...

5\. not to upset you, but since katya is ivan's sisteri did think it would be sort of unfair to exclude natalya haha. natalya's backstory will be elaborated deeply on this arc...andi think that unlike ivan she doesn't like to let emotions get the better of her, which partly explains her distant/sometimes icydemeanour. but she did recognize him!arthur will be back soon,i promise! he's not dead or 's such a sad romantic at heart tbh. but angstyrochu is the best, don't worry!

* * *

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	52. New Perspective

when you kill someone off you expect to never see them again, right

as an angsty writer i will make you watch it again

also model united nations was so boring i found time to write this lol - also i'm writing an omake with the kirkland gang so watch out for that ^^

three today (aw) , so replies are up here

* * *

mailbox

 _hearthorse11_ \- oh yes it is, and i'm going to make you go through it again muahaha. the mixtape is gold, honestly

 _pastaaddict_ \- kiku takes it harder than you think he does! here you go

 _russia says hello_ \- i'll just pass tissues to your heart and pin this chapter to your brain so that i won't break it any further. no promises though haha

* * *

 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for even more blatant mpreg (sorry), gerita, and pov change**_

* * *

 _later_

"Kiku? Is there something wrong?" he said softly, as if he hadn't been in what looked like pretty bad pain three seconds ago.

"B…but...are you all right, Your Highness?" Kiku spluttered.

"You…you seemed like you were in pain, and the King went to fetch someone for help-"

The Jack laughed, and patted his head in an expression of fondness.

"Nonsense, Kiku! _Ludwig_ ," he said, with careful emphasis. "He went to get the relic we use for this purpose. It's just my body reacting, that's all. It's a little weird when it's carrying a little life inside it! He should be back soon-ah, Lud!"

Feliciano was right – instead of a small crowd of nurses, he had returned with one maid holding a tub of hot water and a small towel, and a small figurine that Kiku recognized as the small Fate in their prayer room as he put it down in front of him.

" _Vee_ , that feels a lot better," Feliciano sighed as the maid lifted a bit of his loose shirt and rubbed the towel soaked in water onto his stomach. "Do you have some pasta?"

"We just ate dinner not that long ago, Feli!" Ludwig chastised. "I'm sorry for accidentally giving you a little fright there, Kiku. This is actually completely normal."

"Is it that…is it that painful?"

"Well, it _is_ a completely different shift of anatomy that Feliciano is used to," Ludwig began to explain. "The Fates allow power of body alteration so that a baby can be taken to term. That's why in some extreme cases, especially in the first years after the virus had hit, we could still keep on going."

"But, um, does the baby come out that way, or…" Kiku said, trying not to sound embarrassed, but Ludwig's reply seemed to take that in stride.

"It would destroy a male's body if that was attempted," he said with a tone of seriousness. "It was only delivered then if there was literally no choice. But now, we're lucky with all the newfangled technology that we can remove the children from the makeshift womb in the parent giving birth."

"Nothing to worry about, Kiku. Little episodes like these are completely normal." Feliciano said reassuringly. "So many couples in Cards do this. If they come to Hearts, it's almost guaranteed safety."

"Oh…" Kiku said, feeling like he was finally starting to understand what they were talking about. So do other come to Hearts for help before conception?"

"We've been a symbol of life and fertility, and that's why virtually all couples, same-sex and opposite-sex, do come here." Ludwig confirmed.

"The Clubs couple came over as well! Queen Elizabeta and Jack Roderich."

"But they are a male and female couple...should they not easily have children? Did they not have two healthy babies?"

Elizabeta and Roderich were infamous and well known for being the only couple that had given birth to two girls and having the mother and both children survive in more than fifty years. Even more interestingly, Elizabeta had chosen to give birth the biological way _both times_ , and a lot of people had just called it good luck, especially since she was a royal of Clubs. But choosing to do so was a lot more dangerous than the so-called C-section that was made common practice after the virus had broken out, and usually required incredible strength.

Even though Alfred and Matthew's mother was also well known for giving birth to both of the twins and managing to stay alive, she had delivered it by C-section and therefore it was considered a less formidable feat.

"Well, after the Diamonds war her abdomen was injured in a battle that she was leading. She took a hit for a soldier and afterwards she found out that the hit would make her infertile for the rest of her life. At that time, the King of Clubs had not chosen an heir because he was waiting for his son to finish his training in the military. So she and Roderich traveled over here for the blessing, and four months later, she was pregnant." Ludwig said, recounting the tale to a fascinated Jack and soon to be Queen.

"It's so lovely, isn't it?" Feliciano enthused, waving his arms around. "How couples that could not have children cradling babes in their arms, even though we were not born for these things! Those chubby cheeks and sweet smiles…"

"Don't overexert yourself, Feli." Ludwig said sternly, but his actions did not match his words as he held his hands gently, placing them back on his stomach. "After that episode, you must rest."

* * *

The three of them sat in the room talking casually, until a knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Kiku found that it was one of the doctors – Dr Julianna, who had treated him since the beginning of the process.

"I'm terribly sorry for interrupting your conversations, Your Highnesses, but I must perform the checkup on Queen Kiku right now." she said, curtsying. "Would you like me to do it here, my Queen?"

"I think, er," Kiku said, looking to Ludwig and Feliciano for confirmation. When they both nodded, he turned back. "It seems to be no issue."

"Would you mind waiting here? I want to make sure our Jack goes to sleep," Ludwig said, but Feliciano shook his head fiercely.

"Isn't it important that I'm here for Kiku? Sleep can wait, you've already excused me from all my duties!"

" _Feli_!" he insisted, but after a few moments with a stubborn Jack he seemed to relent, but settled for pulling a chair for Feliciano to sit down on.

Kiku closed his eyes as she removed his shirt and began the check; he still wasn't all too comfortable with the process but was getting used to the lack of privacy that seemed to come with being a royal. Even though the number of cameras had decreased as Toris had left, they were still here.

"Good news, Your Highnesses – the Mark is making significant progress ever since our last checkup last night. According to the colouration and the shaping, if everything will go at this point, it will arrive earliest by next week and will definitely be here by next month."

"Wonderful," Ludwig said, with a hint of a smile on his face. Kiku couldn't help but wince a little at how still intimidating his smile was to him sometimes. "Would you mind escorting the queen and I to his new bedroom?"

 _A new bedroom?_ Kiku thought quizzically as the doctor packed up and the three of them went up to close the unfinished nursery.

He had been staying in his old Deciding bedroom for the past few weeks when they were still waiting on the Mark, and he hadn't thought he would be moving to the queen's bedroom until he had come public with the rest of the Suit.

They decided to lead Feliciano to his and Ludwig's bedroom before they continued.

"Goodnight, my Lud!" Feliciano sang, leaning on his tiptoes to bring his husband into a goodnight kiss. His tights had been swapped out for long, comfortable cream pants, and he looked very comfortable in them.

"Goodnight, my Feli." Ludwig said in return, looking a little embarrassed at the show of public affection, which Kiku had politely turned around to avoid looking. "Please, do not wait for me, I will be back soon."

* * *

Soon, they were back on track to a section that seemed to be on the other side of the castle. Julianna was walking behind them while Ludwig and Kiku were discussing going public with the announcement.

"Well, I'm not sure if you have seen them yet, but some tabloids have been picking up on a potential win in Hearts. However, they don't know that it is you that has won, so hopefully you do not feel any pressure at all." Ludwig told him.

"I appreciate your concern, but thank you." Kiku replied, instantly feeling relieved. "Unfortunately, Dr Julianna said earliest by next week that my Mark would appear…do I have to show the developed Mark on the Broadcast?"

"That's what usually happens," he said gruffly. "Even I had to do it as a child in case I was deemed unfit to become heir. Shall we set it for next week, then?"

Kiku's expression was surprised. "But the doctor said it would appear earliest by next week…"

"I have faith in you, Kiku," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "I believe that this will be one of the fastest developing Marks that I have ever heard of. I don't believe our people will doubt you at all."

" _Our_ people…" he echoed. Had the King accepted him as a Queen already?

"I know you get along exceedingly well with Feliciano already, and you seem to be able to discuss with Lovino, which is a skill I lack," he confided sheepishly. "So I think our partnership as King and Queen does not need to be romantic to work very well. I would appreciate a partnership with someone who thinks concisely and will not distract me easily with his antics." Kiku could already tell he was talking about his husband in the way his voice softened and his eyes lost their sharpness for a moment. "I do believe we can get along well, despite not being romantically involved – unless you have hidden feelings for me?"

 _He…he actually has a sense of humour!?_ Kiku spluttered internally and externally, which he came to realize a little later.

"I would never dream of it, Your H-" he began, but took note of his little head shake and started again. "I would _never_ dream of it, er…Ludwig. You and Feliciano are a wonderful couple."

"I'm thankful to have my Queen's approval." he said. "…However, are you still comfortable with the announcement next week? I understand if you don't want to."

Kiku took a deep breath before nodding, offering a smile of his own.

He'd never expected this sort of friendship with both Feliciano and Ludwig, after all.

It felt like nothing could go too awry with the three of them helping in rule the country.

* * *

"If it's not too much trouble, may I leave you on your own tonight? Feliciano wants to go through some numbers regarding the census tomorrow morning, and I have to draft the speech and figures for the next cabinet meeting next month in advance. I hope that you find everything to your liking. Feli insisted on helping out," Ludwig said, opening the door. It was structured exactly like the husbands' conjoined rooms, except half the size and a smaller door. "We had to do some renovation when I moved across the castle to share a room with him, so the next door room is completely empty. You may choose to do whatever you want with that, if you would like to."

"This is very kind of you, my Kin- _Ludwig_ …" Kiku said, already in awe. "Please extend my greatest thanks to Feli."

"No issue. I am very sorry, but I need some help with military census due by next week, do you think you can help out with some casualty reports? They're on your bedroom desk, I figured that you might want to stay in this room for tonight so I asked Miss Sophia to deliver them."

"Have a good sleep, Ludwig."

"You doubly, Kiku. Get settled in well."

They exchanged bows, and then Ludwig closed the door and Kiku was alone for one of the first times in his day.

Walking slowly in his room, he managed to slowly take in all of the glamour. His bed was the centerpiece of the room, of course, but he could see Feliciano's hand in the design in the paintings of red flowers dotting the room. They were paintings of roses, tulips, carnations and chrysanthemums among other flowers. There were the living basics, such as a black and red four poster, two luxurious couches in the corner, a port like device that seemed to serve as a television as well, a towering bookcase, a door that led to the toilet in another room. Kiku had these luxuries before, but not at this extent as to his surprise he found a huge hot tub in place of a simple bathtub. He couldn't resist placing a handful of dried rose petals when he took his bath.

When he was finally done, he appreciated the rack of towels that were made available to him, and dried off and slipped into a simple red robe and some pink fluffy slippers – no doubt a cute touch by Feliciano - that was already hanging from the hooks. He sat in his chair, ready to read the notes that Ludwig had mentioned.

 _Log Twenty Eight – available for viewing at 9:15:85 EST. Please advise on situation as soon as possible. Port Code: 18523._

Kiku turned to face the port located east of his room, paper in hand, and went to set it up.

"Commencing facial recognition," it said in a robotic tone. Kiku felt an odd, dark red laser scan over his face, and after a few more processing messages it started displaying an analyzing process. To his surprise, he could see pictures and pictures of his face fly by the monitor. It was over in an instant, however, as the screen quickly flashed to display a welcome message, accompanied with the same robotic voice.

"Good evening, Your Highness," it said in a robotic tone. "Which part of our database would you like to access?"

"Um…" Kiku stammered, scanning over the piece of paper with an extended finger.

"Current scanner, please."

" _Current scanner open_ ," it repeated, and the interface flashed to show a blank screen along with the capitalized phrase _PORT CODE_. Kiku tapped the box next to it, and it pulled up a keyboard of sorts, with numbers implemented on them. He entered one-eight-five-two-three _,_ and with a few loading screens it showed a little _CLASSIFIED_ icon that he selected.

A video showed on the screen, and he pulled up a velvet stool to watch.

The screen cut to a woman's face. Her hair was tied up into a neat brown bun, but her expression was anything but tidy.

"This is Regiment Twenty Eight. General Isabella reporting from Front Line Two of the Easterns conflict!" The background noise drowned out her speech, and he instantly jumped to his feet. The Easterns?

"There has been a serious breach in our left flank – the Eastern troops seemed to have bypassed Front Line One and Regiment Eighty completely! We've been completely overrun – late emergency evacuation has not been able to save more than eight thousand men in the reinforcement line-"

Kiku's papers fell to the floor.

"No report on Regiment Eighty's soldiers nor the general– both are presumed to be dead – latest report from the flank that it has been-"

The woman's voice was cut off by screams and gun shots, and a _thud_ of a dead body made it onto the corner of the camera, his face stained with blood and snow in his hair. Kiku covered his mouth, his stomach recoiling.

"Oh, God, they're here – the evacuation team has not reached this area, if they are careful enough these deaths will be enough to appease them...the papers have gone with them as well. No update on their position, but they were last seen only kilometres away an hour ago…" the woman trailed off, but at that precise moment he could hear the storm of boots and he could see her pupils dilate in fear.

"Do not send additional aid to this regiment – seek out Regiment Eighty and their location-" she continued. She looked like she wanted to say more, but as an angry shout interrupted her and the camera jolted. He could hear her screams in the background as the camera rolled onto the snow, but what he saw on the screen made his throat go dry and his heart come to a stop.

A cluster of bodies, almost all of them still appeared on the feed. Even though the orientation of the camera was sideways, he could still see the agonized expressions of each and every man. One had his arm blown completely off; one had a cigarette within reach if only he would reach out-

-that face in the corner. Kiku ran forward, pressing his face tightly against the port. He pleaded for it to not be true, _oh the Fates please it can't be him anyone but him please oh please no-_

Heracles' green eyes stared pleadingly into the camera. Kiku could see his chest heave, his mouth part slightly and the small puff of air he let out. His form was so much weaker, so much more tired than the last time he had seen him. He was completely slumped into the snow, and as Kiku watched, his mouth parted in an silent scream, a man's boots slammed onto his head, onto those silky brown locks that he used to brush and laugh into and pull cats' claws from…

A gun made its presence onto the screen, locking onto his left shoulder with a menacing _clack_.

He felt like the other roars of the gunfire had faded into the background.

All he could see was Heracles' green eyes, glistening with terror. He had looked into these eyes once, full of mystery and love and longing.

He heard the gunshot.

His mouth opened, twisted in agony, as if he was fighting for his last breath - but they seemed strangely defeated, as if he was accepting his fate. Almost like his cute expression before he fell asleep in Kiku's arms.

His eyes lost their colour, slumping sideways as his bloodied chin collapsed into the snow, the colour staining his uniform as he fell forward, like a limp puppet.

A figure, clad in dark red, passed the camera before Kiku could rip his gaze away.

A dark visor obscured their face, and before anything else could happen they turned around, their mouth parted wide as if they were shouting out to others. No doubt they would finish the job. All of a sudden, the person's hands clawed onto his shirt and dragged his body away, limp like a doll.

Screams and more shots and boots passed the recording, with the odd person with the same dark visor passing by.

* * *

It wasn't until Kiku felt his mouth throbbing and his shirt soaked that the screams were coming from him.

The screams tore themselves from his throat, as he clutched at the carpet on all fours and sobbed Heracles' name again and again as he felt everything collapse inside him, because nothing would ever be the same again, because he had just _watched_ Heracles die.

Not in his arms, not in some bed in comfort, but in the cold hell of the Easterns, murdered by a brutal killer somewhere and snatched away somewhere where he couldn't reach him.

Kiku clutched at his robe and tried to stop his screaming, but he found that he simply _couldn't_. This burn, this _agony_ wasn't something he could silence immediately, it was howling and sobbing inside him.

His door flung open, but Kiku paid Sophia no heed as he continued to sob, curling on himself as he felt her run off, probably to fetch some help.

He screamed his throat raw, but even that couldn't do anything. Nothing, _no one_ , could fit this pain, this grief. There was only one person, but he was gone, brutally murdered by a monster that didn't even know about him.

Who didn't even know about his love of cats, his naps, the way he read to him for hours about history and words of long gone philosophers until the two of them fell asleep together, their midnight escapades, how soft his hair and his odd curl was after a good bath, how much a half hour of silence could be conversation enough for them, how warm his hand felt enveloped in his.

"Kiku? Kiku, what's wrong?" he heard Feliciano's cries before he felt the warmth of another person encompass his relatively tiny size. He heard the footsteps of someone else, presumably Ludwig, not a few seconds later.

"Are you in pain?" he asked, but he could barely see out of his tear stained eyes. The only thing he could do was gesture to the port as he howled in Feliciano's arms.

Ludwig picked up the remote and rewound the tape, and he and Feliciano watched as Kiku's screaming went on and on as he heard the sounds. He tried to drown them out with his own voice but it didn't work, and so he couldn't do anything but cry out, breaking off into sobs as the night wore on.

"Kiku, Kiku," Feliciano said sadly, cradling the younger boy in his arms. "What's wrong? Who was he?"

"I…I _love_ him," Kiku gasped, not caring if he was to be murdered on the spot. "And…and I _watched_ him die!"

He and Ludwig exchanged glances as he rocked the distraught boy on the carpet.

"Put off the speech for a little, we have to find out what happened to that regiment." Feliciano said flatly, and to his surprise Ludwig nodded.

"Was…was that why he wasn't interested in romance?" he hissed, careful that Kiku wouldn't hear. "Should we-"

"He just _lost_ someone," he said sternly in reply. "There _will_ not be a punishment, instead, we'll do what we can to bring those poor men home."

Ludwig fell silent for a moment. It was unusual for his husband to take a firm role in their relationship, but he was never good with decoding things emotion wise.

"We'll cease all supply lines and send our troops directly to Front Line Two, then. Look for those in Regiment Eighty and scramble them to safety as well, if there's no report sent anytime soon. We'll have to clear out Supply Line Eight and bring them in there as well."

With a hint of tenderness, he bent down on his knee. "Are you sure you'll be all right?"

"Never mind me," Feliciano said softly, looking at the weeping boy in his arms. "I'll stay with Kiku tonight while you get that order filed, all right?"

"I'll join you two straight afterwards." Ludwig confirmed, brushing some hair off his forehead and pressing a quick kiss to the surface. "Rest well, my Feli. Look after him for us."

He watched his husband go, and went back to rocking the distraught Kiku back and forth in an act of comfort.

"I'm…I'm so sorry," he hiccupped, but Feliciano shook his head fiercely.

"There is nothing to be sorry for. Take as much time as you need, Kiku. You're family now. We'll do all we can," he said softly, as he continued to cry weakly until he fell asleep completely.

* * *

"We've just scrambled two fleets of soldiers for extra rescue efforts. Lovino's got that in progress – knowing Antonio he'll run to help, so hopefully we'll be able to save as many soldiers as possible."

"That's wonderful, Lud," Feliciano sighed. He gestured to Kiku, who had cried himself to sleep. A…A little help?"

Ludwig let out a _puff_ in amusement. "Did you skip out on your weightlifting this week?"

In a teasing gesture - and wanting to impress Feliciano, of course - he lifted the two of them in a harsh movement. He quickly let down his husband but gently placed Kiku in a bed, patting his hair as the two of them pulled a blanket over their youngest member of their Suit.

"…would you cry like that? For me?" Feliciano said quietly. "I've never seen Kiku like that, even when he's angry."

"I would betray my own country for you. Even if I would lose my legs and never walk again*." Ludwig said. Even though they both had changed into more comfortable clothes, he had brought along his cloak to make the two of them warmer.

"I'd travel anywhere – if there's a train and good company*," Feliciano said playfully, remembering their wedding vows to each other. "But from the bottom of my heart, I would do anything."

"What did I do to deserve you?" Ludwig laughed, a deep voice that he knew his husband adored. "Never mind you being the son of an artist…you _are_ art itself."

His hand moved onto Feliciano's stomach, and they shared a kiss on the couch.

"I'm worried for him," Feliciano said nervously, placing his hand over Ludwig's. "Do you think we'll get him home to Kiku?"

 _I don't know_ , he thought internally as he nodded nonetheless.

 _How can I tell them, from experience, that he's probably dead?_

* * *

*blatant references to _auf wiedersehen_ , _sweetheart_ – an infamous work involving the pairing of germany/italy (as depicted here) by the remarkable George deValier.

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!


	53. Natalya

kind of feel crappy this week. sorry. replies'll be next week...

...motivation is really dying. but as you all know, i'm starting to eliminate everyone, so we'll start with the lovely mystery we finished last arc with.

we'll also find out what happens to arthur this chapter! i guess everyone's been missing him...

* * *

 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**_

* * *

 _Spades._

 _Dearest Natalya,_

 _I hope that you are in good health after the attack. It was sad that I could not talk to you, but you must understand with all the people around us that we would get caught! Please extend my words to Katya after I have left..._

Her maids, probably frantically trying to clean up now that the soldiers from Clubs had left, caused the commotion outside her room as she sat on her chair. The letter had arrived only this morning, and to her relief it was still marked as a plain envelope even though he had personally delivered it to her by hand.

 _I hope little Alfred is not treating you too bad. If he is, though, please tell me! I will be there as soon as possible to fix this situation._

"If you would only let me go _home_ , then you would," Natalya muttered angrily. She had tried to contact him last night when he was, for some reason, in the Spades palace, but he had looked distracted the first night and somehow managed to get into a fight with Alfred, of all people. What a way to be tactful, indeed.

 _But I must ask you to stay in Spades a little longer, please? It is still not safe over here, and Katya is too busy with her duties to visit as much as she would like. I mean, if you have fallen for the prince I mean-_

"Shut up," Natalya shot back, not really caring that she was practically talking to herself at this point. "I don't need to fall for him to not want to be there anymore."

She knew it was true, being in Clubs was the one of the last things that she had wanted to do ever since she had moved to Spades.

 _…_ _but is that the real thing? Is that the only thing keeping you from going back home?_

She scoffed mockingly at herself, but a quiet knocking at her door interrupted her thoughts and she got up from her chair.

"Lady Sakura and Lady Emma came on a little earlier to look for you, but I said that we were still busy and that you still wanted some time to yourself," Jamie, her maid, said nervously. His fingers were twiddling nervously, a nervous tic that he had had ever since the first day they had met. She couldn't help but feel like she had made it worse because of her cool demeanour the first time she had stepped into that room of hers. "Also, we had to, um, move that pillar out of the way. It's out now, but you might want to be careful of the stones…"

"All right. Take a break after cleaning my room." she said shortly, and pulled up her dress to sidestep the little bit of debris.

The silence of the palace was only permeated by the _clink_ of her heels on the steps as she walked down to the dining hall. Strangely, even then there was no commotion, no sign of chit chatting.

* * *

The dining hall was packed with the other five, but the mood was a lot more somber than it had before. Alfonso and Emma were sitting the closest next to the prince, but they were only whispering amongst the three of them. Arthur was staring determinedly at his tart, a fork on his hand, but he wasn't actively eating the food. Interestingly enough, his right hand was heavily bandaged. Sakura was eating as well, but she seemed to ask him a question. As Natalya took her place, he shook his head, visibly upset, and she nodded gently, but a troubled look on her face. However, she perked up when Natalya managed to sit in the seat next to her.

"Natalya! Oh, good morning." she said, and Natalya acknowledged her with a half smile, letting her silvery blonde hair fall in her face.

"G…good morning, Sakura," she said in reply. "I don't suppose you know what happened to everyone – oh, some pancakes would be good." she said to her butler.

"Werl, Arthur seems upset about something that he wirl not tell me about." Sakura said, casting a concerned glance onto the other boy.

"More drama with Alfred, honestly. And, uh, his hand?" she said. It hadn't even been the first time, she still remembered their huge fight after the whole caning, but they were a territory that she didn't even want to get into.

"…they are finding it very difficult." Sakura said awkwardly. Natalya could guess that she found it difficult to gossip about others.

If only she could say the same about herself.

She watched Arthur snatch a glance at the other boy, but Alfred was clearly occupied. She wondered if Arthur had deliberately waited when he was not looking as to clue himself into his own emotions.

"Can you do it? Can you take care of Emma for me?"

Natalya shook her head quickly as to clear her own thoughts and turned back to the shorter girl, a confused expression on her face.

"Yeah, sorry. What?"

"Ah…it's just that I am thinking of rea-leaving soon." she said.

Natalya's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Why – why tell me?"

"I thought you might want to know." the other girl said evasively, turning back to her food. Those black eyes stared, almost mournfully, in her direction. Natalya wanted to say something, but a hiss from across the table directed her attention to Marianne instead.

Months ago, she should have learned how to handle herself around the other girl. Some sort of alliance was formed in the early days with her and Clare as she found out that even her stupid little pact with Arthur didn't mean he would act around her as a guise.

Somehow he managed to get all buddy with Leon, who got himself into a mess, and now he was still chummy with Alfonso she wasn't even sure how that had managed to happen.

And instead of Emma's little niche group breaking apart, Avie had to leave.

So she was stuck, with no excuse as to not spend time with Marianne. Great.

* * *

"Ugh – give me a hand, Nat!" Marianne complained. Natalya swung her thoughts over to the blonde, who had one hand on a strap of a dress that definitely _wasn't_ suited for everyday use.

For one thing, the colour was a cream white, which would stand outside the palace as it was declared too cold to go out for activities tonight. The neckline was a lot more plunging than she would have let herself be comfortable, but…

Marianne was very beautiful, that was for sure. The only thing that set her apart from being stupid and seductive from clever and seductive was that she knew how to use her beauty to get what she wanted.

Who said she wanted love, anyway? Natalya had thought the Deciding was some kind of scripted show where the prince had to choose the one that he could stand for the longest. And hell, that was what, a maximum of five years before he found a mistress?

"What do you want?" she said stiffly, pushing away her thoughts. Marianne shot her a glare in reply.

"You _know_ about my plan to get Sakura out of the palace." she huffed, sitting in front of her mirror. "Any updates?"

"She said she's leaving any day now, anyway. Something happened. God, Marianne, what if the others found out?" she shot back, pulling up the tops of the dress. "Fates, at least put some jacket on. It's _December_."

"We're nearly up to the top three, remember?" Marianne ignored her, quickly trying to hide her excitement and failing. "Just a little push tonight will do him over. You _know_ he's prepared to end it soon, anyway."

 _A little push?_ Knowing the other girl, a little push definitely was something more physical and seductive than what it usually meant. Not just a little flirty glance over dinner or a making out session behind a bookcase, she was talking about going full circle. The thought of it made her uncomfortable, anyway.

"Whatever suits you, I guess. I'm not here for this stupid idea of finding love this way, anyway."

"True," Marianne said, leaning closer into her mirror and dabbing a little at her bottom lashes. "Love just isn't in the equation for us two, huh? Even I could use the cute brother to get to the main prize, anyway."

"Guy's an Ace." _Leave him out of it. Drag him out and keep the number of pawns to the least._

"Yeah, so? He and Alfred are close, anyway. I bumped into him the other day, and he was definitely taken with me when I looked at him." Marianne boasted. "One good word about me from his brother, a little more persuasion, going a little more public every day, and he'll think I'm more important and worth it than that brunette. Did you _see_ the way she was prancing on about that damn date she had last week?"

"Didn't stick around to hear it," Natalya muttered, taking a chair behind her. "Uh, spill," she said after a moment, mulling it over in her mind.

As much as she liked Sakura, she honestly couldn't stand the brunette. All right, she and Alfred were having this fairytale romance and he kissed her on average eighty three point seven times a week. Blah.

But Natalya was tired of her showing off her trinkets and constantly squealing - had she mentioned the squealing? Well, not even an hour-long sermon about it would solve it, anyway – and so after a while she decided to just drift away when it happened.

"Something about Alfred giving her some stuffed animal. What are they, six?" Marianne snorted.

"Please, _please_ don't tell me she named it Waffles," Natalya snorted, and Marianne twisted around her chair and nodded with mock wide eyes. Her ridiculous expression made her want to sneer, but she couldn't help it in the end and ended up snorting loudly, covering her mouth only out of habit.

"Though, I mean, do you think she's the only threat?" Marianne asked, examining her plait that her maid had done earlier on in the day. "Alfonso's quiet about the whole thing. We don't know anything about his relationship with the prince."

 _We? Does that between you and me? Honestly, you mean you and the little piece of blue and gold that's going to be sitting on the top of your head if you manage to pull this off._

"Arthur too," Marianne continued, blinking harshly at her reflection. "Who knows, between those two, Alfred could have proposed to either of them and they just want to keep quiet about it."

"Arthur's too messy in his relationship with Alfred," Natalya said, three quarters meaning it and a reluctant quarter upholding their agreement at the beginning. He hadn't done anything to sabotage her, anyway. Why should she throw him under the bus? "Doubt it. They fought _again_ yesterday. Alfonso, though. You are right, he's a real black sheep. Who knows about him?"

"Focus on getting Emma out of the picture." Marianne said, although it sounded like a command more than anything. "If you're saying that Sakura's gone, she's the next one between us."

Natalya's jaw clenched at being ordered around like that. She was _tired_ of being a pawn in yet another game of someone else's.

But if she didn't, she'd leave the game entirely. So she tried to focus on the few things she did agree with Marianne on.

"She acts like she's won this whole thing already. Like she's gotten Alfred _all_ snug and wrapped up around her little finger. I won't believe her until she's gotten a ring on her finger and has that child."

"So a marriage won't do, but a baby?" Natalya said mockingly. She knew what it was first hand. Marianne probably didn't even know how painfully true it was when it happened halfway across the world.

"Marriage is just in name for some people," she responded dismissively. "A baby's a physical thing. Especially since Hearts basically means that anyone can have a child nowadays."

"A baby's supposed to be the next step, though. It's like a chain, binding the two of you as a couple." Natalya said.

"It's not supposed to be a chain," she replied, sounding a little confused. "It's supposed to be a physical manifesto of your love. How much you care for each other."

"Oh, it's so adorable that you think that's the only reason babies are born." she replied flatly. "As you said, we have more than one way to get what we want. It's a _chain_ , binding you to power, to the other person, to whatever you want. You can't undo a _baby_ that easily. If you had a child with him somehow, then that crown's yours. He's honourable enough to not kill you right after."

The other girl nodded slowly, as if she was pondering that method. But Natalya knew first hand how carrying a child of someone you didn't love hurt. It tore women – and men - apart, let alone their children. Natalya had seen those cold, loveless children in the streets, their clothes stained with ice and their feet bare and blue among the snow. Sure, Marianne would get her crown, but the only thing it would do was that it would make her and Alfred unhappy, stuck with a future neither of them truly wanted. If the child grew up knowing neither of their parents loved them, well. How broken would they be?

On these thoughts, Natalya hastily bid goodbye to Marianne, wanting to be alone with her thoughts.

Her deep, dark thoughts of a past she so badly wanted to forget, but thanks to him she couldn't.

Even if she tried. And Duchess, had she.

* * *

bah i'm so sorry i'm so quiet this chapter. i hope it'll be better next week

to all my USA readers, happy thanksgiving!

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them! pls


	54. Scattering Petals

welp not much to say this week lmao

* * *

 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**_

* * *

"…you have to remember to place your focal point at the middle of your mind, so you can make sure it doesn't get out of hand."

Natalya rolled her forefinger underneath her thumb, cracking her knuckles as the Jack continued. It wasn't his fault that she was so bored of the lessons; it was just because she _had_ learned this stuff already. Most of the time, especially during demonstrative lessons, had been spent pretending her ignorance and pushing her training down when they performed magic.

"Oh, look at the time, it's six," the Jack said. He folded the thin manila folder he had on hand and straightened out his robes, ready to go. "When you are all ready, you may have an hour of free time before coming down for dinner at seven sharp. Again, if you need anything please contact your maids."

The Elite all darted out of the room as soon as it was ordered. Natalya kept her gaze low as she made sure that she turned in a direction away from the general crowd, but instead of going off with Emma as she always did, Sakura followed her and Natalya felt the sensation of her hand on her shoulder.

"Natalya…I must speak to you now," she said hesitantly, her voice catching on her tilted accent. "It is about something I think you shourd – should know."

She tilted her head, confused, but didn't struggle or complain as the other girl led her to her room.

"I have been thinking recently, and I think I would rike – _like_ to leave," she said haltingly, closing the door.

"What?" Natalya blurted. She was surprised, no doubt, but also a little hurt. Who else would she have with Sakura gone?

"The magic event is next week," she said softly. "And because of where I came from…I know I wourd find it difficult."

"What's happening with your background? I mean-" _It can't be as bad as mine. Nothing possibly could be like that._

"I…I bought one of the registration forms…" Sakura admitted shyly, looking terribly embarrassed.

Natalya did a double take. "Is that _it?_ Sakura, it's definitely not illegal. There's nothing wrong with girls buying forms for the person they love."

"Not a few hundred thousand gold, yes?" she continued. Even for a former princess, it was still a huge sum. Just for a chance at a stupid contest. Of course, it was free for her due to her brother being able to pull a few strings at home, but even so.

"You have been so kind to me recentry, so that is why I decide to telling you." Sakura confessed, brushing her hair back. "But I was afraid of this becoming something more than it shourd be…"

The other girl's eyes widened when she realized what she was saying. What? It wasn't supposed to because of that, uh, _shit_ , it –

"I understand if you do not, um, reciprocate those feer – feelings, but I do not wish to act upon them, so please do not be sorry if you don't feel the same," Sakura said, sounding more and more embarrassed by the moment. "And I have not meant to be unfaithful to Prince Alfred, it was just a little thing I thought you must know."

"You like me in that much?" Natalya asked, sounding shocked. "Uh, t-thank you. But I…I haven't even been nice to you until recently."

"I do not know, but it is not important." she said quietly. "It is just…with everything that has happened, I think that you could use a friend."

 _But what was the deal here?_ she wondered. _I haven't had someone in a long time that's befriended with me just for the sake of it._

"Do you want a favour, or something?"

"Ah…a favour? No, no, it is just with so few people that it is best to leave on good terms with everyone."

"Well, all right, then. Um, anything else you want?"

"I am going to tell the prince tonight…please do not tell anyone else, especiarly Emma, if that is all right?"

Natalya smiled for real for one of the first times in the competition, enveloping that petite hand in her own gloved one. "It's a deal."

* * *

The atmosphere that had faded on the Spades palace after the rebel attack had been glum. The Jack had announced at dinner that the forces were moving back, possibly for regrouping due to the fact that they had multiple groups in all the countries. The demand was yet _again_ repealing world law that there could only be two Jokers in force at one time.

They were direct descendants from the first few Jokers, the ones that had come wielding direct and dangerous power. Somehow, that meant that all the other Kingdoms and their magic ceased to work when too many Joker children were produced. After the Virus struck, these numbers thinned and their magic dwindled, but there were still 'pure' strains of Joker magic that decimated the land. In a violent end to their story, they were banished on an island outside of Clubs territory, and no pure strained Jokers were allowed to exist anymore. The only two Jokers allowed to be using their magic were currently Katya and Gilbert, out of service to the crown. It had been Natalya's bedtime stories as a child, as an explanation as to why Clubs' magic was not as strong as the other countries were.

However, it didn't seem to really process in anyone's mind as everyone was preoccupied with the fact that Alfred wasn't at dinner. Matthew came in a little late and shared a few words with Yao as they sat down, but Alfonso couldn't help but lean over and ask him about Alfred. Emma came over his shoulder as well, but he looked sad and told him quickly what was going on. Even Hero, Alfred's dog, was absent from his little bowl next to his chair.

Arthur wasn't here as well. Natalya thought it must have to be something to do with his injured hand, but seeing his visibly upset stance it might have something to do with that as well, but it seemed like that no one really cared about it except maybe Alfonso.

"I'm sorry, but Alfred seems to have been hurt in the aftermath of the rebel attack. He has asked for some privacy and prefers to take his dinner in his room. If you want to see him after dinner, please see him after then."

Alfonso ate listlessly, Emma twirled her fork around her noodles, Sakura slowly scooped food to her mouth and forgot to wipe her mouth like she usually did. Even Marianne scraped at the side of her bowl and seemed distracted as she ate, and Natalya realized just how devoted everyone was to Alfred for how long this competition had gone on.

* * *

After dinner and bidding goodbye to Emma and Alfonso, narrowly missing Natalya, Sakura went up to find Alfred. Her stomach had not settled ever since the first bite of bolognese had passed her mouth, and she quickly checked for stains in one of the ceiling length mirrors before straightening her blue tulle and knocking on the door.

"Your Highness?"

Alfred, who had been sitting in his chair with Hero on his lap, turned around sharply. He knew only one person who still insisted on calling him by that title.

"Miss Sakura? Please, come in, what's…wrong?" he began to say, but stopped short when he saw her forlorn expression. He gave Hero another ruffle on his head and let him down from his lap onto his bed.

"Mr Alfred," she said breathlessly, just like when they had first met.

He could surely forget about his wounds for a little, right? He knocked away the pain on his back as she appeared to be holding back for just one moment. She leaned on her heels for a moment before breaking into a run, her periwinkle heels sounding on the marble floor before he pulled her into a hug, burying his nose into her hair as she laughed into his shoulder.

"Hey, what's the pressure?" he asked as he brushed her fringe from her face in a comforting gesture that only they shared, and they watched as her eyes followed his touch.

"I am very rerieved that you are all right," she sighed, looking up onto Alfred's taller height. "I only wished you and Mr Arthur could have joined us in the safe room at the time, we were all so worried."

Alfred bit his lip at the mention of the other boy, but tilted his chin up to answer her anyway. "I'm so sorry about that. But now your Alfred is back, there's not a thing you should worry about that's within your power."

Sakura's dark eyes shone for a moment, before she fiddled for the gold buttons on her jacket before looking nervously back at him.

"I wish…I wish to be eliminated," she said tersely, carefully pronouncing the last word.

Alfred's eyes widened in surprise, and he took in a baited breath.

"Is there, uh, a specific reason? D'ya think I'm not good enough for you?" he said.

"No, of course not, Your Highness!" she said hurriedly, looking dismayed. "You have been nothing but helpful to me…and my English lessons, they are arl, um, all helpful." Sakura cleared her throat as she tried to correct her strange, patchy accent. It had improved in leaps and bounds ever since their one-on-one dates had begun.

"What's wrong, then? Is it because of the rebel attacks?"

"Sortly," Sakura said, then halted and corrected herself hastily. This had always been the main thing they were both afraid of, the thinning language barrier between them. But these things took time, and right now Alfred didn't have much of that, either.

"Partly, I mean it was quite scary it is also the magic trials you mentioned on the Broadcast. I read about them before I came here."

"But if you aren't good at magic then it isn't a problem. Yao – or I could teach you even more in our English classes-" Alfred offered.

"I…My family bought the form for me," Sakura interjected softly. "I come from one of the richest families in the Hearts Inner Circles. That is why I am two years older than you, Alfred, and they let me in. I did not ever attending a holding facirity. Did you…did you know?"

"Yeah, sorta," Alfred said, but there was no anger on his face. "I figured out as much."

"I cannot do good…good magic up to the standards even if I tried my very best," she stammered. "The Jack _has_ been trying to help me where he can, but now you mention the Trials I feel as if I wirl get my hopes up too much."

"But why would you think that?" he continued. "You know, you and everyone have had a chance since day one!"

"You have always tried to give everyone a chance," Sakura said, sounding a little wistful. "And you are so very good for making sure of that."

"T-thanks, but I'm not sure why that has to change."

"I do not think I'm saying it has to! But I can see you have already found your last few. I can see it in your eyes when you look at them each." she said with a small smile. "You might not know yet, but in your heart you do."

Alfred simply gave her a wan smile and entwined his gloved fingers, protected from the winter cold, with hers in a comforting gesture.

"Hey. I'll let you stay as long as you want, okay? This was meant to be a no strings attached thing. The only thing, heh, was in this competition is that you still like me. I'm," he swallowed before continuing on his sentence. "I'm, uh, sorry for sounding so needy but is it because of me, really?"

"No, no, Your Highness!" she insisted, shaking her head almost fiercely. "You are wonderful, and I am very sure you wirl, um, will, find your soul mate here. But I know that here, this is not where I will find love. I do not want to take your chance away. You are as lovely as they are nowadays."

Alfred nodded once, then pulled her into a hug. Her arms securely encircled his waist in response, and they swayed in the dimming light of his bedroom. It was like they had transported themselves into a sparkling ballroom, and he playfully spun her around and she let him hold her, both laughing happily in the end of their sweet relationship.

* * *

"This isn't me breaking ties. Your English is coming along pretty good, Sakura, don't give up, okay?" Alfred said before coming to a halt before her door.

"Thank you, Alfred," she said gratefully, letting go of the honourifics for once. "It means a lot to me. Please invite me to your wedding."

"I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to wait for a lil," he laughed, but nodded all the same. The two of them stood awkwardly in the doorway for a little before he spoke.

"Wait. Uh, do you want to do something tomorrow? Tell the others that you're leaving? Since we're such a small group now, they might like it," he said before she closed the door.

"Hm…" she wondered out loud. Maybe a dinner with her favourite foods? _No, that is not special enough. We request things, anyway._ Horse riding? _Um, too big._

"A dance?" she wondered out loud, and after another moment looked back up at him. "Would a dance be all right?"

"What kinda dance?" Alfred asked, sounding intrigued.

"Um…um, if you do not mind, maybe all of the Elite could come and dance with you tomorrow night? We could fix up the ballroom, clear away the tables, if that is no issue?" she asked.

Alfred gave her a boyish grin in reply as she turned to bide him goodnight for the last time. "I think it's a great idea."

Sakura spent the next day telling everyone else what would happen that night. Emma burst into tears as Sakura told her she was leaving, and Alfonso looked a little forlorn as he came up to give her a hug, but other than that Natalya wasn't very annoyed by the news and managed to put on a good show. To her surprise, though, Sakura simply told her of the event later on in the ballroom and left out news of her departure, but perhaps it was fitting as Marianne simply nodded and went back to examining her nails. Arthur hadn't attended the Drawing Room for days and that left her to stop him after lunch – as he had missed breakfast as well – and tell him about it. He looked a little sad, but nodded and they shared a few words before he probably retired back to his room.

Within the space of a day, the ballroom that had been used for the Meeting had been transformed back into the shining atmosphere of the night. The curtains had been changed to a light blue, and the white of the ballroom had been partially covered by blue tulle to match the light atmosphere. A section of the archway had been covered to allow a small row of chairs to rest on the fake wall. A long table, filled with little garnishes such as a plate of tarts and a small selection of chocolates, was on the other side of the sprawling ballroom. The stage that had been built on the right side of the venue had a small troupe of musicians, testing out their instruments as soon as they had finished preparations.

However, the floor was completely cleared and the chandelier above seemed to shine especially brightly. Alfred took the opportunity taking her inside five minutes earlier to give her a surprise along with his dog. He covered her eyes gently with his palms and guided her forward into the doors, where he nodded to the musicians and they started to play a soft violin piece.

"I hope I did your request justice," he said as he uncovered her vision, and he couldn't help but smile as he heard her audible gasp of surprise.

"This is amazing!" she exclaimed, brushing a lock of her hair back. She rushed around everywhere, Alfred not being able to not laugh at her excitement.

"Do you like it?" he called from across the room to where she was too busy examining the food on the table. Hero ran up to his legs and started weaving in between them, sensing his owner's excitement.

"I love it!" she cried, laughing blissfully as her eyes cast up to the chandelier. "How could I ever thank you?"

"I just want all of us to have fun…this was a great idea!" he said cheerfully. Sakura wrapped her arms over her new dress, a peach coloured empire style affair that Alfred couldn't help but think looked very pretty on her.

"It's us up first, if you don't mind, my lady." he said lightly, allowing Hero to jump up on his chair and tuck in his stubby tail.

"I would love to," she said as she took his hand and the rest of the Elite filed in.

They were wearing new clothes per the request. Emma was wearing her signature red in a mermaid style gown, and she hugged both Sakura and Alfred as she entered. Alfonso had let the little bobbin of his hair loose tonight, letting it curl around his shoulders. Marianne was wearing a purple dress that hugged her figure, Natalya had done her hair in a braid and came in an icy blue, floor length tulle dress and Arthur came in a loose coat and a sky blue tie and seemed to get his hair somewhat under control. Sakura simply couldn't keep her smile off her face as the rest of the Elite sat down on their soft chairs and she and the prince took their place in the middle of the ballroom.

A group of maids were around the room, and a handful of butlers. They seemed to be content to serve, standing to the side and watching them.

"You ready?" he asked, letting her place her hand in his.

"As I will ever be," she said, sounding clearer than ever.

* * *

internally for some reason i think my writing's getting more um...i don't know the word, but it's getting kind of sloppy. reviews,

rewrites are...on the way, i guess

reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them! pls


	55. Revelation

i am very tired but watching hetamyu at 12am

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 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

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"This was such a romantic idea," Emma sighed, leaning forward in her chair. "What a lovely thought to get us away from the memory of the rebels."

"Huh? Pfft, it's just dancing," Marianne scoffed, crossing her legs. "Honestly, with the rebels doing their little tour around the countries, they'll be back eventually."

"But it's sweet all the same for Sakura to include us, I guess." Natalya said, fiddling with the little jewels sewn into the top of her dress.

"It's a nice gesture before she leaves," Arthur said quietly, looking at the happy couple. "To give us a little something before it's all over."

"Wait – she's leaving?!" Marianne blurted.

The musical troupe started to play a light tune, bolstered by soft strings and gentle harp music that soothed the whole room. Sakura and Alfred were swaying on the dance floor, her hand securely resting in his.

"Yeah, she is. Happy now?" Emma snapped, jolting up and shooting a glare at her.

"Hey, guys," Alfonso said firmly, shooting a warning glance at the two of them. "This is about Sakura's leaving, not either of you. Can we just lighten up for a little?"

The two girls exchanged glares, but settled back into their chairs and Alfonso exhaled in relief. Arthur sat quietly in his chair, waiting for him to do something, but instead he took a trip to the dining table. Arthur looked down and stared fiercely at his bandaged hand.

"I can't help but feel a little jealous though," Emma leaned over to whisper to him. She was seated at his right and Arthur was sandwiched between her and Alfonso, but Natalya and Marianne were chatting away together in the corner. "If she wasn't leaving, and if she wasn't my best friend, I would be pretty green eyed monster right now."

"You don't have to be," Arthur said. "He's obviously head over heels for you, I suppose. Just don't forget me at your wedding."

"Don't be silly, Arthur," she smiled, but one look at his hand and he knew it was more out of pity than what she knew. "I've got to say that back to you-"

"-Sorry, Em, wasn't sure what you'd like so I went with the strawberries," Alfonso called, jogging back with a plate of three pastries. Arthur and Emma exchanged glances, then as he sat down they all took one and started eating. Only Natalya took one glance at them before turning back to the couple, Marianne's attention didn't waver.

"Thank you, Alfonso," Arthur said quietly, carefully maneuvering his trembling left hand to hold the tart. He'd tried to help Anna rewrap his own hand last night, feeling like he should have learned to do it himself. She had insisted, and that night he had allowed her to find someone to watch over him when he slept, half out of gratitude and half out of the brooding feelings left over from the rebel attack.

He had lain awake for the most of the night, trying to ignore the stinging in his right hand. Then came the itching, then the squirming, then the kicking away of the blankets, the biting of bottom lips, the tugging at binds…

Subconsciously, he shook his head and focused on the sweet taste of the tart. He tried to ignore the clench in his throat at the sight of Alfred and Sakura laughing on the dance floor, swaying perfectly together in tandem. He knew that his recent absence from the Drawing Room and breakfasts had caused some gossip to run on the fray while he was gone, but he managed to avoid them as much as he could. He was practically eliminated, anyway. It was just a matter of time until Alfred bothered.

"I hope he asks me to dance next," Emma sighed, brushing a few crumbs from her cheek.

"My only problem, I guess is whether we get to choose the music or not," Alfonso said lightheartedly, waving for a maid to take their plate. "I mean, at this soft waviness I feel like falling asleep and snoring."

"Imagine you just slumping on the floor," Arthur said, half smiling. It wasn't the best idea to talk about him right now, so he'd possibly try to focus on others. Chances are, he wouldn't even get a dance.

 _But if he's happy tonight, that's the whole point_ , he thought for a moment before he pushed it deeper into his mind. He himself didn't matter at all right now.

As the three looked up, the music ended with a flourish and the couple in the middle of the ballroom stood perfectly still, keeping up their guise for a few moments before they both burst into laughter and clapped. The Elite followed suit, Emma letting out a wolf whistle, and the musicians dropping their bows and freeing their hands from their instruments to join in too. It was one of the best atmospheres all competition. True, it had been tame enough in his knowledge, but now the group was so small it seemed to be a nice change.

Arthur watched as Alfred guided her to a chair and kissed her hand lightly, and tore his stare away before he could notice. He'd be asking Emma to dance next. It was pretty obvious, anyway-

"Alfonso?" As Arthur looked to his right, his friend was already taking the prince's hand as the rest of the Elite watched in astonishment. "Can I have this opportunity?"

"Were you expecting me to say no?" he grinned, clasping his hand with his. "Come on, let's go!"

* * *

The music evolved into a fast, smooth tune, and as they just reached the front they moved together within minutes at an energetic pace.

"What?" Emma muttered under her breath. She had a teasing smile, but her eyebrow was arched and her eyes seemed troubled. "My, my, what's been going on in the little world of Alfonso's?"

"I suppose there's a perk to not telling everyone else where you're at with the prince," Marianne said sourly, her mouth pressed in a thin line. "He's obviously been doing a lot of work on him recently."

"Alfred isn't a project! Don't talk about this like that," Emma said sourly, folding her arms over her strapless dress. "If you even-"

"Knock it off," Natalya said harshly, gritting her teeth, her ice blue eyes glinting in warning. "We don't need any more damn fighting tonight."

Arthur just shut his eyes and turned away from the three of them. He didn't want this stupid drama; he didn't want to watch Alfred and Alfonso dance on the floor looking hopelessly in love.

 _Is this even a good idea? What are the rest of us supposed to do when one of us is dancing with him? Swap insults?_

"Oh, Sakura, you're back!" Emma exclaimed, putting on her best smile and turning her back pointedly to a hissing Marianne. "Did you have fun?"

"Yes, it was rovely," she said in response, but her tone had taken on a stint. "I am sorry, Em, but can I speak to Marianne? Alone?"

"Sure," she said, getting off from her chair and brushing some invisible dust from her vibrant purple gown. "Outside, then."

Natalya and Arthur exchanged a glance as they both walked away. Emma had settled herself back into her armchair, sighing as she watched Alfonso and Alfred again. The sight was simply too striking to miss.

Alfonso had never been so public with his relationship with the prince up to this point. Arthur never had a reason to doubt his friend, but he'd been even quieter than him about coming clean. They'd obviously interacted a few times romantically, after the time they had talked about the kisses shared between the few of them left. But seeing his eyes shine under the lights and Alfred's pressed shoes tapping around the marble floor left absolutely no doubt. It just wasn't Emma steamrolling past all of them; Alfonso had suddenly shot forward and effortlessly played hooky of all of them. Even the maids and butlers, who were rapidly growing by number as the night grew colder, were surrounding them and clapping and cheering.

Before Arthur could look up from his hands, Alfonso was already back at his seat, breathless and flushed as he adjusted his tie and swept his coat underneath him. Everything about him, with his shaking legs and his nervous lip biting screamed _love-struck_.

"Well, well, well," Arthur said teasingly, letting a smile slip past his pale expression. "Looks like someone's had a good time."

"Yeah, I did! Dunno how he managed to do that spin for the last time, he seemed kind of tired but it was so fun. Heck, it was really good," Alfonso said, his voice sounding almost as dazed as Emma's after a good date. " _He_ was really good. We both were, together."

"If he loves you as well, I'm happy for you two." Arthur said, trying his best to sound cheery. "That was a lot more up-"

"Hey, Hero, ya want to go outside, bud? Sure, just be careful!"

He could hear the cooing of the others as the little terrier jumped off Alfred's seat, but it was like Arthur was stuck in time.

"Em, my dear, ya ready to dance now?"

Arthur heard him, loud and clear. And he tried his best to push it away. But it _hurt_. It almost ached, the feeling that he had tried to push down since their fight had happened. Alfred's grin, his sky blue eyes, those wheat locks that were moments from his touch, just a few moments ago.

Why couldn't he let him go? Why was this love still here?

"Excuse me," Arthur said hurriedly, nodding once to a confused Alfonso before staggering quickly out of that interaction. _Not like this._ "I'll be back soon. Please save my chair for me."

He didn't even know what was coming out of his mouth anymore as he pulled the pearls sewn on his coat up to his chest. Even in the palace, the cold from outside was biting enough. _Coming back?_ How could he stand to stay in the same room with the person who held his heart? Where could he go? Where someone couldn't find him there?

 _The gardens are too cold_ , he thought quickly to himself. _He'll find me there. I can't let that happen. I can't bear the feeling of seeing him again like that._

Arthur could sense multiple gazes following him as he left the room. He tried to brush them off his worries as best as he could, but as soon as he knew he was safely outside and a lilting tune poured out of the open doors, he took off into a run, covering his mouth and swallowing back the lump in his throat, making sure he was alone.

 _I'm sorry, Sakura. I shouldn't be letting you down just because I'm too afraid. I just can't fight this feeling. Not like this._

Arthur's hand felt distinctly empty as he climbed up the steps to a refuge that only he thought he knew.

 _I just wish I got to dance with him for the last time._

* * *

Alfred barely managed to keep his expression steady as he watched Arthur leave the room, but his hands were shaking as they clasped Emma's in his. He tried his best not to let his gaze follow his back, but he couldn't pull his blue eyes away.

He was still upset about the fight. How could he not? It had quickly spiraled out of control, yeah, but he hadn't been expecting this much sadness between them. He had thought he would have been furious, angry, ready to dismiss him, but there was just upset, sadness, an emptiness in his system.

 _I had wanted to dance with him tonight, even if it's the last time we'll get to do it together. Feel that perfect weight against me._

Alfred thought, pulling back his bangs and waiting as Emma scurried up to the music stage and asked for a song she liked. Alfred had thought Arthur was going to leave as soon as that had happened, but it had been so quiet between them in the three days that had followed.

Meanwhile, everything around them had just gotten louder. He and Yao had been talking again about how they would have to complete the process in as fast as a month if he wanted to be so hurried with his Deciding. They had started planning the trials in a southern part of Spades, near and secluded so that the overdose of power would not affect other magic users in the area. Alfred had originally tried to design it with him in mind, but the way things were going he'd be gone-

 _Don't think about that, Alfred!_ he berated himself harshly as he watched Emma bound back to him, her beaming expression not failing to light up the room. He tried to give her his best smile, but felt his mouth falter.

"Come on, let's go!" she said excitedly, and with a swish of her bare shoulders they were slowly spinning around the room. His feet stepped where hers were moments before, blue shoes filling red heels. Her lips were lined with red lipstick, a daring touch, but Alfred found himself thinking of soft mouths meeting his own, teasing smiles, slightly crooked teeth instead. As the music picked up he found her much closer than before, the faint smell of strawberries tangled in her hair as she nestled herself closer and he allowed her to. He felt her touch against his skin, feel their heartbeats together as he spun her around and she followed, her feet moving quickly in tandem with his.

Dark green met blue in a breathless moment, and Alfred took a step back instinctively, his fingers lost in scarlet fabric as she stumbled and held onto his clothed arm. Emma laughed and so did he, pressing his nose against her hair, but something was missing. What it was, he just didn't know, but it was _something_. There was also the fierce flame that he had found in those eyes - before it simmered into a tiny ember as she tipped her head to one side in concern.

"Freddie, is something wrong?" Emma asked, her other hand moving up to his shoulders to press herself higher. "You look upset."

"No, uh, it's nothing," he said shakily, but all confident steps and smiles were lost in that heartbeat before the music swelled up again.

 _Is it just me, or am I going to be alone again? I thought they cared-_

His shoulders tensed as his steps became a little slower and he felt her slow down to match him, but a pang of fear still was there in his mind.

 _Am I going to have to finish this with someone who doesn't love me like I love them?_

Alfred cursed himself internally for not falling in love before the Deciding. If he did, he knew his father would approve. His mother would need some convincing, but it definitely wouldn't leave so many hearts broken, right? Everything he did felt like cheating on someone.

* * *

"What is it?" Marianne bit out as soon as they had left the room. "What else do you have to say to me?"

"You know," Sakura said darkly, taking a step forward. "You know _everything_ from the beginning. This is why I am leaving, to make sure I do not encounter one of your rittle schemes any longer."

"Get rid of that accent and that bitch before coming back here to try again – oh wait, you can't because you're a pathetic excuse of a twenty year old," Marianne shot back. "Alfred will find out that she's one of them soon enough."

"Don't bring Emma into this!" she snarled, clenching her fists. It wasn't much material, but at least it was something for her nails to dig into. "I am done being quiet. You are worse enough!"

"At least I can speak _Engrish_ , little missy," Marianne taunted, yanking on the other's chin to pull her up to face her. "You just couldn't handle the stress of loving the prince enough, so you ran like a coward, little rich girl."

"At least I do not spread my legs to get something that I want," Sakura shot back, breaking free of her grip with a forceful push to her shoulder. "Or lie and use my friends to get my dirty plans to work!"

"It's called a girl has more than one way to get what she wants," Marianne growled. "What she _needs._ If you don't know how to fight dirty, you're not a girl. And I know how to use that to my favour."

"I have seen the way you boss Natalya around! She trusted you, and so did that brown haired girl before she left. I hate it." Sakura hissed, stepping a closer so they were practically chin-to-chin. "Leave her, and everyone else, alone!"

"What, so you're such an angel that you're going to leave tomorrow? God, good riddance." Marianne snorted. "Run away all you want. You'll never get what you want."

"Leave. Them. Alone." Sakura said coldly, her hand that had been on the other's girl's shoulder had tightened.

"What? They'll all lose in the end, anyway. This is where your pathetic little love story ends, and theirs will end soon enough. They don't know how to _really_ romance someone-"

Before Marianne could continue, Sakura pulled back her grip on her shoulder and slapped her clean on the cheek, leaving a mark on her face. Marianne recoiled, but she quickly recovered. Her mouth curled in fury and she lunged for the other girl, but Sakura had already started to stalk back to the ballroom.

"I will be eager to hear from Emma's letters when you have gone," she spat. "We girls do not need to fight dirty to get what we want! Alfred deserves someone so much better than you - _anyone_ does. He deserves someone that will love him to the end of time, someone who _knows_ how to treat him right, not use him."

Marianne sputtered furiously on the spot for a few moments, then the sound of a shoe hitting the marble floor resonated throughout the castle. She angrily strapped it on before stomping back to her room.

Behind the pillar, covered by blue curtains, Natalya cupped her mouth with her hand and tried to hide her sputters of laughter.

 _Damn straight, Sakura. Thanks._

* * *

appears from mailbox hello everyone

sorry i haven't been doing replies for a bit it's just that general reads/reviews are plummeting so i haven't been as motivated

but i've done them today so um if that counts

mailbox

 _lovexoxoluna_ \- hi, it's been a while! i'm happy that you still enjoy it haha. i'll look forward to your reviews again 3

 _pastaaddict_ \- i wanted to show more of his sweet side for once, i haven't writ it for awhile actually!

 _hearthorse11_ \- mmm yeS IT'S ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. also thank you very much! the other day i found myself writing 800 words of rambling dialogue and i deleted all of it because simply put, it was awful. so internal dilemma there...

 _russia says hello_ -aaa your really kind words mean so much to me!i'm not planning on taking a break yet,i might see if there's anythingi have up forchristmas but for nowi'll thinki'll continue.i'm happy thatlast chapter was a little calmer compared to the usual drama!

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reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them.


	56. Reconnection

i'm in europe this week! which means no review replies, that's all. i've prewrit these next few so schedule will still be the regular one. no need to worry :)

prague is so pretty (and cold)

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 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

Taking a deep breath to try to keep himself warm, Arthur wrapped his hands around his shoulders and began to rub briskly on the surface of his jacket. It wasn't so cold that he had to watch his breath billow out underneath him, and he could faintly hear the crackle of a small fire in the large hearth underneath the portrait of the late King and Queen of Spades. The servants had not tended it to seeing as it was late, and most of them were probably watching Alfred and his Elite dance around. Even though the snow hadn't started to fall yet, which meant this was not the coldest part of December; he had already begun to see the effects of the cold on the castle. He had seen Butterscotch and another few horses, including the one he rode, being escorted inside.

But he was just distracting himself. There was no denying that, even to himself that his mind was on anything but the horses or the cold. It still rested with the people in that warm ballroom downstairs, specifically with one person.

He placed down his book onto his lap, leaning out of his small corner, making sure no one was there before he pressed his mouth against his palm and let out the choked sound that had been in his throat ever since he had left.

"Not again," Arthur whispered, twisting his pearl over again in his index finger and thumb. His chest tightened, and as the feeling intensified he pulled up his jacket up to his chin. "Not again!"

He braced, waiting for the hot flash of magic, but it just didn't come. Faintly, he remembered his conversation with Yao, about how it would manifest in intense romantic conditions. This was hardly romantic.

This was just sadness.

He hoisted his knees up to his chest and tried to blink away his tears, but they wouldn't stop sliding down his cheeks. "Stop!" he hissed furiously to himself, but it came out more like a sob than a snarl. "Stop, _damn it_ , you can't act like this over a mere boy, you can't-"

 _He isn't a mere boy, is he? He means a lot more to you than just that. It's not you going soft._

"What?" Arthur blurted, pulling his hands away from his face in shock. A voice, resonating in his head? What _was_ this? "Who are you?"

 _Oh, you don't know me yet,_ the voice continued. It sounded far away, but it sounded like a pebble splashing across a pond. _If things continue to go the way they are now, you will never know me._

"I must be hearing things," he said tightly to himself, but let his legs rest on the carpet again. "Things the way they are now…?"

 _Your relationship with Prince Alfred,_ the voice said. Arthur's heart clenched at the mention of his name. _You know what I am talking about._

"I'm…I'm sorry," Arthur said hesitantly. He couldn't believe he was _actually_ talking with a voice inside his head. "But I understand. Are you saying that it is a bad relationship for both of us?"

 _No, that is not what I am saying, boy. We Fates all come to visit you somehow._

"Fates? You're a Fate?" he blurted in reply, jumping up on shaky legs, his mouth open with disbelief. His book fell to the floor, but he barely paid it any attention as he felt some sort of mist at the corner of his vision. He was starting to feel a little hazy, from what he wasn't sure, but probably with talking to this strange entity.

 _Obviously, boy,_ the voice said, sounding a little fed up and annoyed. _You're a little more than foolish. How else are you supposed to convince him you truly care for him?_

Naturally, Arthur had no answer to that. With another apprehensive look around him to make sure no one thought him mad while he was visibly talking to himself, he sat back in his chair. After a few minutes of waiting, there was nothing but silence.

His shoulders started shaking, not from the cold, but from the tears dripping down his nose. Rubbing the velvet of his coat against his eyes, he tried to push down the throbbing feeling. It _burned_ , seared like a magical fire, and Arthur could do nothing to stop the flames. Alfred no doubt hated him, because of that fight; he hadn't given everything that he could.

 _How am I going to survive when I go back?_ Arthur wondered desperately. All right, he would be all right, with all his payments to his family for their service. But leaving with his heart in the other boy's hands-

-wait. His payments? Arthur suddenly remembered that at the beginning of their outburst that Alfred had asked him about why he wanted to go home, and had mentioned his family. Maybe he thought he was here just for his payout?

 _But that's not true_ , he thought as he slowly pushed out into the cold hallway. He could still hear the chattering and noise downstairs in the ballroom, and he felt a little pang of guilt as he walked past the steps leading down. Alfonso would be upset. _I'm here for one thing, and one thing only. All right, maybe two, counting Matthew and Gilbert. But still, if I didn't care for him I wouldn't be here._

* * *

"Anna?" he asked as he came into the room. He hoped that she wouldn't notice the runny nose or slightly red eyes, but she simply came and greeted him.

"Sir Arthur, are you cold?" she asked as he went over to his desk. "You seem a little chilly. I thought you were down with the Elite?"

"Oh, um…something came up," he said awkwardly. He was relieved when she simply shot him a knowing look and went on with the task. "Do you have any paper on hand?"

"Desk, front drawer," she recited drily. "I'll fix you a bath, if you would like?"

"Oh, that would be lovely," he replied, leaning to the left and fishing out the paper. He picked up a pen and started to write, but it seemed heavier than normal, probably because of the weight of the message he was preparing to send to his family.

"Um, Anna, can I have those petals you put in my bath the other day?" he called as he heard her move into the bathroom.

"Will do. "

* * *

 _Where is he?_

"Alfonso, can you check up on him? He hasn't come back."

"Hey, no problem, Al," Alfonso smiled, but he sounded a little defeated. "I guess I could tell from his expression that he wasn't thinking of coming back."

 _Was that my fault?_ "Well, if ya put it that way I guess it's okay. Sorry you didn't get to talk to Sakura tonight, I wanted to see her off." Alfred drew a smile from his face. "It's getting late."

"You don't say," Alfonso laughed, unlacing his hand with Alfred's as they approached his bedroom door. "Well past twelve, Al. See you in the morning!"

Alfred kissed his hand lightly, watching as he made his way into his bedroom. 'Night, Alfonso."

"'Night, Alfred."

After he closed the door, the prince took a deep breath, and then began to walk towards Arthur's room. It was near the end of the corridor, so it was relatively secluded. No one had to witness his feelings. The emotions he felt around the other boy were meant to only be between them the whole time. Arthur had kept most of their relationship secret to the others, unlike the other Elite that liked to gossip. Alfred felt a little uncomfortable that he was treated as an object to be compared to.

But as he got closer, the blood started rushing in his ears. What if Arthur publicly rejected him? What if they had another fight? Surely his maid was there. What if they hurt her by mistake if something happened?

The thudding of his smartly pressed shoes grew louder in his perception. Before long, he had stopped completely, his heart pounding and his chest squeezing as he stood in front of Arthur's door.

 _I can't do this,_ he realized, panicking as he took thudding steps backwards. _If I screw this up, if I let my emotions get the better of me, I'll drive him away for good. He'll run, for real this time._

Nights of suppressing tears and keeping up facades got to him, and he slipped beneath the wall in between Arthur's room and a winding staircase. He sat with his head in his hands, slightly soothed by the cool sensation of the wall.

Just then, the door flicked open, and there he was, clad in only his bathrobe, his green eyes almost luminous in the darkness of the hallway. Alfred couldn't help but stare, his heart only thudding faster. Even after everything, he couldn't take his gaze or his thoughts off Arthur.

"Hello?" he said softly, in a voice Alfred's heart ached for. "Um, is there anyone there?" After a few moments, he shifted his bare feet. "Anna? A – Alfred? Is…is that you?"

Alfred clenched his fists and fought every cell in his body to not jump up and apologize over and over again. _I want to say it. Please, let me. I mean it, I swear._

"I could have sworn…" he said, his tone upset. He shuffled on the spot, and Alfred couldn't help but feel the want to pull him close. Be his hero for once. All that anger, that _confusion_ in the heat of their argument, had faded away into dust. It left a pining, a hollow feeling in his chest that rendered him helpless.

The door closed again, and he couldn't help but release a breath of relief.

 _Why am I such a coward_? he cursed himself inwardly. Lately he'd been so much more fragile, knowing that a misplaced word and an argument like this from basically anyone still left in the competition could send him into tears. He knew that crying was still considered not suitable for someone of his status, but all these strong feelings had burst out of his control. Bottling them up for so long had taken a toll on him. At least, he'd made sure that Matthew wasn't next door before petting Hero's velvety ears and burying his face into his pillow.

He knew he couldn't let Arthur go. He definitely regretted their fight. But what could he do? He wasn't sure about things – did Arthur just want to keep on staying just for the support for his family? Had he fallen out of love with Alfred because of that last argument? How did he hurt his hand?

He roughly brushed off the few droplets that had made their way to the creases of his eyes, and then Alfred made sure that the light underneath Arthur's doorway was securely flicked shut before slowly getting up and making his way to his room.

As he got there, his maid – looking visibly tired as she rubbed her eyes and sleepily greeted him – fixed him a long bath. He gently made sure that she went to her quarters after getting out, and petted his dog's sleeping shape before getting into the covers and closing his eyes, trying to ignore the lump in his throat.

He would try to fix this as soon as they were both ready.

* * *

"Um, Anna, before you go, can you come back a little later and help me give this to the post?" Arthur asked, turning around in his chair as his maid got ready to take out the basket of laundry.

Ever since that early morning encounter, Arthur had woken up late and missed breakfast. Anna, as reliable as ever, had come up with breakfast and a good tea set to make up for the food. He had gotten back to work on his letter as a distraction and excuse from the Drawing Room. He had heard some commotion outside in the hallway, probably Sakura getting Emma to help her pack for her departure tomorrow morning, but for now he was content just watching the first flakes of snow fall down outside his window.

 _Dear Allistor and Erin,_

 _I am writing to deliver you some news. I'm sure Cormac and Christian can and should be told, but I hope that it's not so bothersome that we have to worry Dylan. How's his school doing? Please make sure that he gets his English grade up, even though he insists he wants to be a stable hand when he grows up._

 _Anyway, it's about the funding I get about being part of the Elite. Alfred and I have had…well, nothing major, but we had a disagreement. And now as I write this, another person is being eliminated, and I'm sure with this brilliant post service that you'll be watching her go home tonight as you read this. With this comes a lot of pressure for the rest of us to stay into the competition. I'm guessing you know how much I want – need – this. I won't let myself get caught up in fear and hesitation any longer. I'm very ashamed of my actions from before…_

 _…_ _so as you always like to say, Cormac, drastic times calls for drastic measures. Although you always say that as an excuse to pull out beer pong when work gets you a little narked, I suppose I did learn from you somehow. I've decided to ask him to stop my compensation. In our – I guess I could call it a discussion - he said something about the fear of me wanting to do the best in this competition just for my family. As much as I care for you all, this isn't true. And if I have to go to this level to prove it to him, I'll do it._

 _The palace here's a lot less loud now it's just the six of us, but the atmosphere hasn't gotten any friendlier. In fact, it's gotten even more cutthroat now everyone realizes exactly why they're here. Lots of people are here just because they care for him, but some others have more intentions than just that. I'll be lying if I say I'm not intimidated, but I will fight._

 _But I'm sorry. For this disappointment, and the short notice. I wish I could try to regain his trust somehow without doing something as extreme as this, but I want to show him that he's safe when it comes to me. I want him to know that I'm only here for him._

 _Write back soon._

 _Best regards, Arthur_

 _PS. Allistor, please help staunch Erin's nosebleed. She complained how she thoroughly spoilt my last piece of post._

* * *

sorry no replies! i'll be sure to do them when i'm back from europe :)

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	57. Infuriation

still in europe! this is prewritten so replies will be back next chapter,i think?

EDIT FROM THE CZECH REPUBLIC: what the heck is with these time differences god i honestly can't tell the US time anymore. send help

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

The next day was bright enough for a winter's morning, the sun slightly covered by fluffy clouds and the fact that Sakura was leaving the next day. She had asked the others to carry on with their day as if it was normal, but had had a quick word with Alfred to make sure that everyone, especially Emma, were busy and were able to keep their mind off things.

So since the weather was cool enough, and a little snow had fallen but nothing had frozen over yet, Alfred went to the stables with multiple people that day, starting with Emma straight after breakfast.

Butterscotch was also a perfect excuse for him to distract himself. He secretly hoped that he could get in a conversation with Arthur today, but he decided to start off early and also give Sakura some time to pack before she had her turn.

"I've asked the maids for some food for a picnic!" Emma called, waving happily as he stood in the stables. "I've even got a cloth and everything, look!"

"We'll go to a paddock where there's a raised platform so we can let Butterscotch run free for a little while we eat, all right with you?" he asked as she linked her arm with his and walked over to her.

"That would be amazing - oh my goodness, she's so pretty!" Emma squealed as they approached her stall. Butterscotch whickered softly; her reddish tinged tail flicking from side to side as Alfred opened the gates and started to arrange her tack. "I almost forgot the stench of the stables for a little while."

"Butterscotch, right?" Emma said, bending down to peer at the tag on the door. "She does look like the candy! Is that where it came from?"

"Aw, she doesn't really look as much as butterscotch-y than she used to. I ate a lot of sweets when I was still a kid, so that's probably why."

"Is she difficult to look after?" Emma asked, tiptoeing around her stall. "She's pretty big, isn't she?"

"Well, honestly the stable hands do lots of the work, including when I'm busy with Deciding stuff or something the Jack wants me to look at. But yeah, it takes a while to groom her mane and all that stuff. It's worth it, though, if you're a royal and have bunches of free time, it takes it up."

They shared a laugh as Alfred checked the girth again and Emma leaned into the horse's soft mane. Butterscotch only blinked once, recognizing Emma as a new person,

"She's a little rosy gray, I guess. And you really can't help it!" Alfred said, grinning. He pulled the bridle over her soft ears as a finishing touch. "But, yeah, her tail's still kinda rosy but she was a lot redder when I first got her as a filly. She even used to have a bigger blaze on her forehead when she was little!"

He placed a set of steps on the side of his horse. "Uh, she's ready to go now, so do you want to get another horse or just…?"

"Oh, hmm, if it's not a problem can you give me a lesson on her?" Emma asked coquettishly, shifting her weight from side to side and giving him a coy smile. "I'm not good with horses at all."

Alfred swallowed audibly, and nodded, gently straightening out the saddle before beckoning to her and helping her up the steps. By the Fates, did everyone have a better hold onto Alfred than Alfred himself?

"Hey, I'll take the basket, all right?" he said, taking it from her grasp. He handed her the helmet, and she strapped it on as he did the same, the familiar _click_ sounding as he traced the small bump of the spade engraved onto it.

"Okay, so put your boot on the first stirrup – yeah, that's right! Push it up a lil. I'll hold onto ya if you need to, but hold onto the reins so she doesn't run off!"

He took a deep breath before pushing the smartly painted stable doors open.

* * *

After a few more minutes of fumbling with the leather straps and Emma running her hands across Butterscotch's soft hair, they managed to troop out into the greenery before the sun got any higher in the sky.

"All right up there?" Alfred asked, adjusting the coarse leading rope between his hands. "Sorry if the gloves are a little too big on you."

"I can see _everything_ from up here!" Emma cried excitedly, although he noticed her let go of the reins with one hand and tug her jacket a little closer. "How cool is this? Hasn't anyone been like this before?"

He quickly fell silent, pressing his mouth closed into a thin line before shaking his head a little and walking on, gently pulling on her lead. Emma seemed to notice, thank the Fates, and the pair of them kept on going quietly.

He didn't want his sadness, his _weaknesses_ , to show to anyone. This wasn't how the competition was supposed to work! It was supposed to be him finding and knowing who meant the most to him, not him being so confused. It was a time for the country, and all of Cards, to see what he was made out of. And here he was, hurt and upset about an argument with one person.

He subconsciously ran his thumb over the slightly fraying rope, lost in thought. He was supposed to know who his queen was at first sight – at least, that was what his father told him about his mother and his grandmother with hers - but _why_ did the people he loved fight with him so bitterly? Why did they not talk to each other for weeks, despite being in love? _Why_ did Alfred sit out there yesterday night doing nothing, while listening to Arthur's voice call out in the dark for him? Fates, why was he such a coward for a hero?

"Alfred!" Emma's call jolted him out of his thoughts, and panicked blue eyes found his horse standing uncertainly behind him, her tail flicking from side to side as her ears angled. Emma didn't seem fearful, but her grip on the reins was trembling. "You, um, forgot something!"

"Uh, I'm sorry, dear," he said quickly, scooping up the rope a little tighter to gain back control and quickly patting her mane. "I was a little distracted."

"No kidding!" she teased, sticking out her tongue. "You set?"

"Yeah," he said, trying to keep his voice less distant. "Just a little further on, and we'll start ridin', or have a picnic first. Keep that helmet on just in case, okay?"

After a few more minutes, Alfred could feel her shift uncomfortably on her saddle, and decided that the silence was just weird for a supposed date. They made small talk about the weather, and there was another bit of quiet before she spoke as he opened the paddock gates.

"Freddie…are you okay? I mean, do you know what you're going to do to finish this? You seemed like you really wanted to."

He took a deep breath before nodding, tugging a little on Butterscotch's lead before pausing to untie it. He'd pull off her saddle once they were all settled.

"I think it would be a good time to have that picnic."

* * *

"Thanks a lot," Alfred said slowly, "it's just a lot of things to take in at one time, I guess."

"You're right," Emma said, shaking out her hair before turning sharply to face him, a little embarrassed. "I mean, you said before you liked that I told you exactly how I felt…"

"That's not going anywhere, I don't think!" he snorted mockingly at himself, but shook his head. "As this competition starts ending and I start to make really hard choices about who should leave-"

"Sakura?"

"Sakura." he said, walking a little slower. Butterscotch nudged him with her nose, and he shook his head, almost dismissively, and continued.

"I'm sorry." she said after a little, reaching into the basket and fishing out a small sandwich, popping it into his mouth. "There's so many things that give you stress that I didn't know about."

"…" Alfred said nothing. Well, that, and the fact that he was chewing noisily at the sandwich he was just fed.

"I thought this was going to be easy," Emma sighed, stroking Butterscotch's mane as they turned the corner. "I mean, same! I thought you would just know, and in an instant the competition would be over, and I thought it would only be one in thirty chance, but I decided to take it anyway-"

"Em, my dear, you're rambling again," he said. "Is there something you want to ask me or tell me specifically?"

The two of them stayed silent for a bit, Butterscotch's hooves on the sandy surface the only sound in the paddock. Emma cleared her throat, brushed her headband up and spoke.

"Freddie – Alfred…are you sure you want to end this with someone who loves you?"

He jolted, his gaze snapping towards hers with a gaze of bewilderment. "I'm sorry, Em, but what-"

"Oh, thank goodness," she sighed, rubbing her hands around her arms. "So it's just Marianne, right? I thought it was only you all the time and all your fault."

The heat had all rushed to Alfred's mortified face. "What about her?"

"Freddie, everyone knows! Even Sakura saw you together and told." Emma's expression was anguished. "Don't tell me you're thinking of marrying her! Even if she can satisfy you, she doesn't care for you like _that_!"

"Emma, you're not supposed to eavesdrop on my private interactions with the others," he said awkwardly. "But I can't say, for sure-"

"She's just trying to manipulate you!" Emma burst out, causing Butterscotch to flinch for a moment. "Even if she's the prettiest person on the planet and can spread her legs like a pro, behind that face and makeup is a manipulative _bitch_ who only cares about herself! She doesn't care about the rest of us, or even you! It's only the crown she cares about! She'd trample on your heart and murder you if that's what she truly wanted."

"Hey, you'll frighten my horse," Alfred hissed self-consciously; this conversation was making him horribly uncomfortable. "And Emma, I really respect your opinion but-"

"Freddie," she said passionately, the basket of food forgotten. "I know you're in love with someone else. And it's not her. It could be me or Alfonso or even Sakura, but you're not letting her go for a reason. Come on, if you want to end this competition with someone that loves you, she's not it."

He fell silent again. Gently tugging on the reins to bring Butterscotch forward, Emma surveyed his tight expression for a moment before falling quiet and looking to the side.

"At least, that's what I think. If she means more to you, or your relationship is nothing _but_ pure, I mean-"

"No…no, you have a point," he said delicately, also avoiding her gaze. "Y-you're right about some people meaning more to me than others. But I'm not sure what to do."

"Okay, then why is she still here?" Emma questioned, although her tone wasn't as patronizing as Alfred expected. He had dodged her question about exactly _why_ she was still here, but it seemed like it was unavoidable now.

"My…my advisors like her," he blurted, his grip on Butterscotch's rope tightening instinctively. "They say she's willing to do whatever they say as long as she's the queen. But that gives them more power, and that's what they want, and, uh-"

"Oh!" she said, in a tone of understanding. Alfred internally huffed a sigh of relief so she wouldn't suspect anything. He didn't need to bring her into unnecessary danger. "So why do you want to keep her just because your advisors like her?"

"Uh, their opinions are pretty important since Spades just has an official Ace and Jack," he said hesitantly. "So there's that."

"I'm sorry, but that's just really weird to understand. Stuff their opinions, it's you that's supposed to choose!" Emma said, but Alfred shot her a look in warning, and for a moment the two of them walked around the paddock, just breathing in the winter air.

"I guess it _is_ hard to understand," he said after a while. "It's really a lot more complicated compared to what even I expected. But I still want to choose someone because I love them, not just because the public likes them or my advisors do."

"That's the point of the whole process, right?" Emma said, her tone hardening. "Freddie, you shouldn't marry someone just because other people like them; in the end it's your opinion who matters the most. To us as well, some people you love might feel cheated just because the person you pick was chosen for you."

"I can't just stuff their opinions, Emma! There are a lot of things that practically everyone expects of me. The Jack, the Ace, the advisors, and the people! I can't do this with nothing in mind. And I'm sorry for that. If you really want to be my partner, then you're going to have to be a queen. These responsibilities come with being one!" Alfred said, trying his best to keep his volume down as to not startle his horse.

Emma's expression furrowed into anger for a moment, but she nodded tightly, perusing her lips together. For a moment, though, she looked up into the sky, as if she had seen something. Alfred tried his best to not stare at her.

 _He needs your support now, girl. Help him out._

"Oh – fine! All right, then," she said, straightening her dress and beaming at him to Alfred's surprise. "I'm just trying to protect you after all, Freddie. Call me if you need anything…"

 _I don't need protecting,_ he thought bitterly, but walked on, watching a little perplexed as she intertwined her fingers within his. It was a little calming, but he still couldn't fight the worm of uneasiness all the same. For someone so brave and outspoken, he wasn't sure that Emma would have accepted it _that_ easily.

So what had made her so accepting all of a sudden?

* * *

"He's a very well trained steed, isn't he? How many hands high?" Alfonso asked cheerfully, removing his riding gloves and giving the grey horse a pat. "He's a little taller than the one we have at home."

"Actually, it was kind of interesting you chose that grey one," Alfred admitted, stroking him behind the ears.

"Wait, really?" Alfonso asked cheerfully. "Why?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but as Arthur's smiling face flashed in front of his mind, he quickly shook his head and brushed it off as just a personality thing. Alfonso grinned, but there was a hint of uneasiness that made Alfred feel a little guilty.

"So, um…you've had your own?" he asked quickly, half intrigued and half wanting to brush away the subject. "Did you even have space?"

"Ah yeah! My family live in the west of the outer circles, so when I got my break from the holding facilities and visit them, I get to look after her."

"What's her name?" Alfred asked, hanging up Butterscotch's bridle.

"Lisbon*," Alfonso said fondly. "You'd have loved to meet her. She's a real dark horse, if you know what I mean."

Alfred caught onto the pun, and the two of them laughed as they clasped hands, a little to his surprise, and walked out of the stables.

"You, uh, okay with this? I thought you wanted to keep us more secretive…"

"Hey, I'm tired of making you wait for my affection," Alfonso said, flashing him a sheepish smile. "And now stuff is so close, I figured that I should make a move soon."

"Oh, but you've made plenty of moves," Alfred laughed, tugging playfully at his small ponytail – it had grown out throughout these few months. "At least I knew first hand."

Alfonso grinned, rubbing at his mole before gesturing towards Alfred's cowlick, which caused the other boy to back up, surprised but not scared at all. They continued fooling around until they reached the gates of the palace, where a maid was waiting.

Her skin was like dark satin against her outfit and the sun, and her brown eyes looked intensely at the two of them before she spoke.

"Your Highness," she said, sweeping into a deep bow.

"M-Miss Anna," Alfred said, dipping his head in greeting. His expression was one of surprise, one that Alfonso didn't quite understand. He knew this maid?

"Sir Arthur wishes to see you." she said, not mincing her words with a distinct confidence. "I understand if you are currently on a date with Sir Alfonso, but if you could do it before dinner that would be very helpful."

"Oh, uh, no, it's fine. Alfonso…is it okay if we end it here today? Sorry to cut it short."

"No, no, that's fine!" Alfonso said, patting his shoulder in reassurance. "Thanks for escorting me back in, I had a great day. Say hello to Butterscotch for me when you see her again."

"See you and stuff," he said in way of greeting, watching him go with the maid with a little smile on his face.

After they had both disappeared down the corridor, he let out a sigh and rested against the wall, his face in his hands.

"I thought…he really does love Arthur, doesn't he," he said, laughing almost sadly to himself. "Was I just kidding myself the whole time?"

 _And it's really hard to admit this, but it hurts. It really does, now. But again, hey, have any of us stood a chance the moment they met for the first time? I knew it. Damn you, Alfonso, for getting attached._

"…but is it such a bad thing I fell for him? Is it all just my fault?"

 _You know the answer to that yourself, little one. We can't control his heart, only he'll know where it lies._

"All right," he said to the Fate he was talking with. "Er, thanks a lot."

* * *

 _*lisbon is the capital of portugal, so real life reference. it's a really nice place, so when you have the chance to visit it, please do!_

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sorry no replies! i'll be sure to do them when i'm back from europe :)

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	58. Glimmer Of Hope

i'm back! HK is super hot, and i made a terrible mistake of wearing two extra coats gah.

funny story: i misjudged time again and that's why this is a day late. pls bear with me

But finally, this is up! sorry, but 12+ hours of long haul flight has taken something out of me. it's replaced it with jet lag, but hopefully i'll be back to normal next week, so for the meantime, enjoy :)

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

Why _would he want to see me now_?

A million thoughts rushed through Alfred's mind as he followed Anna to what was presumably Arthur's room. To his surprise, she led him back out into the gardens, and it was a few moment before he realized the path was leading to.

It was leading to the outhouse in the back of the blue hydrangeas, and Alfred felt his hands go clammy in nervousness. He shoved them in his pockets, anxious that the maid wouldn't worry or mock him, but she paused at the opening of the rusted gate, scuffling her shoes in the cold dirt.

"Your Highness…I suspect he would want to see you alone. If it is no problem, I assume that you know the way there. May I take my leave now?"

"Yes, Miss Anna," he said, feeling a little relieved at the fact that they would be alone.

Before they parted, though, she gave him a direct look that made him feel a little worried. Was something seriously wrong?

"Your Highness…it is not my place to speak, but I must say that Sir Arthur truly cares for you, no matter what his actions and his speech say of him. Please look after him, and listen to what he has to say."

Stunned, he bowed as she curtseyed, and slowly pushed open the gate with trembling fingers, pausing to brush some invisible snow from his glasses.

There was no way he would allow himself to run now.

* * *

"Fates, where has Anna gone off to?" Arthur muttered to himself, sticking his bare hands into Alfred's jacket. Despite the cold weather, his maid had asked him to come outside to the outhouse to see some surprise that she had prepared. He had been pleasantly surprised by her gesture, guessing that she had picked up on his behavior the week prior. Now it was heading closer and closer to Christmas, he just felt on edge. With his family yet to reply (maybe the post wasn't as good as he thought), no possible word from Kiku and his Hearts Deciding, and the barely maintained silence between Alfred and him…he hated to admit it to himself, but he missed him. A lot more than he thought he would. He missed those blue eyes so much, how they used to bore into his own, coupled with a sunny grin and the light pressure of their lips meeting, Arthur's hands gently curled against his chest as Alfred brought him closer – almost as if they were two puzzle pieces fitting together.

"No," he said, making sure he was completely alone and _then_ letting his right leg swing loose, on the chair where they had first met months ago. It felt like forever to him, though. Only a handful of months ago, they didn't even really know each other, and here he was, risking his family's favour for a boy he truly loved.

"If he doesn't feel the same way, then I can't let my thoughts be like this anymore," he said firmly to himself. "Stuff this, I'll go find Anna."

He flung open the outhouse door, steadying himself to go back outside into the cold by slipping on that bomber jacket-

-coming face to face with Alfred's shocked expression, his eyes sparking for a moment behind those frames.

Arthur's mouth fell open, and he stumbled back a few paces, his heart now hammering in his chest. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights.

 _Wh-what in the Fates' name is he doing here?_

"Alf-Alfred?" he stuttered, his fingers frozen from where they were placed to push open the door. Unfortunately, this meant that his grip was both comfortably and uncomfortably close to the other boy's chest. Arthur expected some sort of negative emotion to fill his mind; they hadn't been so close to each other for what seemed like an eternity! But strangely enough, there was only the low buzz of romantic tension, which made him feel more like gripping his shirt and pulling him into a gesture of affection that he had needed these last days.

"Arthur," he began in reply, sounding a little startled but not really as surprised as Arthur thought he would sound like. It was almost as if he knew but didn't…!

Anna. Was she on this the whole time? Quickly realizing that she must have meant this when she talked about cheering him up, he let his ungraciously open mouth snap shut, and he straightened himself, shifting his weight and trying his best to not look at that irresistible face.

But before he could do or say anything, Alfred rushed forward, so close that their noses were almost touching – well, not to account for the small height difference, of course – but that definitely was not what Arthur was expecting, so his mouth unceremoniously fell open again.

"I'm – I'm sorry!" they both blurted at the same time, their cheeks flushed and their hearts beating at a million miles per hour. After a few awkward mumbles and Alfred nervously adjusting his tie, Arthur silently motioned for him to go first.

"I'm sorry," Alfred said thickly, coming to a hesitant stand again before Arthur. "Please, really, I am! And I – I'll try to understand if you wanna leave, but-"

"I'm, I'm sorry too-" Arthur said, his head lifting to meet his gaze for the first time in what felt like weeks. As he said it, his heart seemed to lift – these were words he'd been meaning to say for days now.

"Really, I am. I didn't mean for things to go wrong that night." Arthur insisted. He didn't know what else to say, honestly.

"Neither did I!" Alfred exclaimed, his voice rising higher with every sentence. "I dunno what was coming out of my mouth half the time, but I was just so overwhelmed. But you shouldn't be the one apologizing, after all I've done. C-Can you forgive me?"

"I remembered what you said last night." Arthur said quietly after a moment. Alfred's face had gone pale, and his eyes hung onto his every word. "I, er, gave up the money. F-for my family, for the compensation. I'm not here for anything else, I promise. Even if we had problems...I hoped."

Alfred's eyes stilled in shock, and Arthur furrowed his thick eyebrows in confusion. _Isn't that good enough? What else-_

"You didn't have to, Arthur…that's a lot you're saying-"

"I care for you," Arthur said. It felt like the words were soaring out of his system, a heavy pressing on his throat that had been there ever since that night outside his bedroom. "Really, I do. And I mean it when I say that I'm sorry. I asked Yao about it the other night, and I've written to my family. You don't have to doubt me anymore."

Alfred's breath hitched. Something about apology was something he was expecting, but not this. He hadn't expected anyone to give anything other than their affection to him, but this, _this_ was something else. It was almost like a rush of warmth in the cold winter they were in now. He felt his cheeks heat, taken off guard, his heart filling with a soft emotion. One of laughter and green eyes, soft piano music and rose gardens, teasing voices and blue flowers.

Was this…was this _love_?

"S-say something, idiot! You've been standing there with your mouth opening and your cheeks red for too long!" Arthur protested, folding his arms harshly.

He couldn't help but beam like a fool would at the sound of Arthur's hot and cold voice hitting his ears once more. _I guess I can't say this as well as he did_ , he thought internally as he brought Arthur tightly into a hug, feeling the other boy's hushed breath against his cheek. He was feeling so overwhelmed that to his surprise, he felt tears fall down his face, but thank the Fates Arthur didn't seem to realize.

"Thank you," he mumbled into his shoulder, before he lost it to these feelings. "I know there's nothing I can do as of right now to reassure you I'm here for you, but I'll be doing my best. I'm sorry it took so long, but...thank you for being brave for me."

A chuckle from Arthur's chest resonated with Alfred, only making that feeling stronger. It only made him smile that much more.

* * *

The exact same feeling had risen in Arthur's chest as well as he buried his nose in Alfred's hair again, the smell of apples and a little leather registering into his mind. When Alfred pulled back with a grin and started to gingerly lean in, the feeling bloomed a little more as he leaned closer as well, his mouth gently rounding and Alfred's hands pulling on the sleeves of his jacket around his shoulders as th-

 _What?_ Arthur looked up in shock, sharply pulling away from Alfred's mouth to stare at his body, his arms raised. The other boy's eyebrows raised with concern, but that wasn't the matter. Where had that squeezing sensation come from?

It came back like a roar of a heat wave, the choking, tightening sensation suffocating in his chest. He let out a cry and pushed Alfred away from him, trying his best to protect him, was this what Yao meant by strong affection?

"Arthur!" Alfred called, surprised. He didn't know where that had come from, but maybe this was the bursts of magic they had encountered back with Leon? He made a mental note to ask about him soon. "Arthur, Artie, calm down! I'm here."

"Get…get away!" Arthur said tightly, easing out of his grip. "I'm sorry, but it's not – _I'm_ not safe now!"

 _Well shit, it is one of those things Yao mentioned before._ Alfred backed off a little, but in his mind he was conjuring up a small spell of his own. Being the prince of Spades – no, not just because of that. It was because he was _Arthur_ that he wouldn't just leave him to deal with this by himself.

Before anything else could happen though, the world was fixed into time again. He felt himself freeze in slow motion; the words simmering in his head completely wiped from his mind.

Then Arthur slowly looked up at him, with those glossy, jade eyes a little distorted as if they were waves crashing upon a shore, and Alfred lost all his coherent thoughts and pulled him tight (at least, as fast as Arthur's burst of magic would let him), burying the other boy's head underneath his chin, his mouth going dry. He was overwhelmed by the burning instinct to _protect_ him, keep him safe, and be his hero.

As fast as it came, though, they were shocked back into normal passing time, and Arthur let out a gasp, drawing back and panting. He fell onto the rope bound swing, covering his face with his hands. Alfred stood there; feeling a little winded for a few moments, then knelt down and tenderly clasped Arthur's hands in his own, revealing his face.

"H-hey…" he said, carefully meeting his gaze. "Look at me, yeah? Everything's gonna be all right, I promise you, sugar. I'm here now, and I'm not gonna leave."

Arthur's breath hitched in his throat, and this time he did not pull away, instead ungracefully falling onto the floor to be in front of the other boy. _Sugar_. It had felt so long – too long - since the last time he had called him by his pet name.

"I messed up." Arthur admitted, with a choked voice. "We both did. But if we both want to fix our mistakes, do you want me again?"

"I...honestly, I've never stopped wanting you," Alfred admitted shyly. "I'm sorry about the fact that I have to be romantically involved with so many people at once, but it's the rules." Alfred looked away a little, but brought his gaze to Arthur after a moment, his eyes shining. "But I've screwed up as well. Badly. I've been a douche, a million things I've never meant to be to you. I'll help you with your magic and things, but you have to trust me even when things get hard, okay?" he leaned forward, brushing his lips against Arthur's ear, unintentionally eliciting a shiver from him. "Will you have me back?"

Arthur felt his mouth perk up into the corners of a smile. Inwardly, he cursed his soft heart for the way he let Alfred come so close. But maybe, he was longing for it more than he thought.

"Yes."

* * *

"Ah crap, I forgot," Alfred said awkwardly, knocking his free hand against his forehead.

"What's that?" Arthur questioned, looking up from where their hands were linked. He caught Alfred staring at him with a dopey smile, and he flushed and nudged him with his elbow. "D-don't look at me like that, what's wrong?"

"I guess ya still owe me a dance." he said, looking a little bashfully to the side. "I…I, uh, still wanted to, that night, because I thought you were gonna leave. That is, if you'll have me."

Arthur responded by bringing their linked hands up to his shoulder and placing his hand on Alfred's waist, stepping a little closer.

"All right," he said slowly. "But only if I get to lead first."

"Okay! But come on, let's go here first," Alfred sang, pulling Arthur onto the first floor. He pushed open the doors to the queen's suite and into the adjoining room, where Arthur realized that Alfred was practically effortlessly pulling out a rusty, heavy thing of some sort with multiple large disks.

"What's that? Goodness, couldn't you have found some musicians if you really wanted some music," Arthur teased, coming over.

"Uh, Mom said they were called phonographs," he called over his shoulder, mumbling a little. "S-she always kept it on when she was practicing her magic when she was trying to concentrate. She said it was really pretty, though…I want to make it special. So instead of having the band play something slow," he paused, gesturing to the discs. "We'll put these on instead! Okay?"

Arthur snorted, slowly coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist, wanting to surprise him. "As long as I get to sleep, you romantic fool."

"H-huh?" Alfred stammered, clearly surprised. "Haha - aw, Artie! Of course! I just thought that you'd prefer the privacy."

 _Good point_ , he thought privately, going a little on his tiptoes to rest his head against his shoulder. _We really need to make up for a lot of lost time._

 _And if I'm really fighting for him…I can't hold anything back now,_ he thought determinedly. _If anything, I'll have to put on the affection on full force, whether I like it or not._

"I do." he said softly, tilting his head a little to face him more clearly. "At least, you'll be spared of the embarrassment that I'm the only person able to lead you."

"Good po – hey, Arthur!" Alfred huffed, but he didn't seem too angry as he let the other boy take his hand and place it on his waist again.

Arthur couldn't help but stare at the other boy's face the whole time. Weak rays of moonlight were beaming from the blue curtains, and the soft, lilting music being coaxed from the phonograph set the perfect mood for the two of them. Alfred's glasses practically shone in this light, the edge catching the glint from the moon outside. But it was the tender gaze directed at him that he treasured the most.

* * *

"And I thought you said you knew how to dance," Alfred said as they stood outside Arthur's bedroom door as they always did. "My feet are still sore!"

Arthur laughed, his lips teasing. "I'm sorry, Your Royal Smartness. You'll have to give me dancing lessons as well as magic lessons, then."

"I guess if we get to spend more time together, I won't mind." Flirting. Something neither had been doing with each other for what seemed like a very long time.

"Well…we have to see Sakura off tomorrow, so I'll see you then." Arthur said softly, unlacing his hand with Alfred's.

"Arthur," he said, and he turned around, his green eyes narrowing in confusion.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have overreacted that night, but I was scared. And, uh, I know how serious this kind of dating is – it's sort of like cheating, and I don't really like it. But ya know."

"Mhmm." Arthur couldn't help but sound a little defeated, but Alfred gently tilted his chin to face him.

"Hey. I meant everything I said tonight and more. Even if I have to bear with this for a little longer…you know how _deeply_ I care for you."

They both took a deep breath. Was Alfred going to say those three words?

"Arthur, you know that I l-" Alfred swallowed once, cleared his throat and tried again, but his throat was so dry all of a sudden.

"I understand…but I feel the same," Arthur said gingerly, walking a little closer. "Let's wait until the perfect moment, okay? I don't want this to be forced."

Alfred seemed like he was going to complain, but after a moment he nodded and leaned against the door, slightly over Arthur. "Okay, then."

He looked away a little, feeling embarrassed by the way he held himself over him. If Anna came around…what should she say?

"Goodnight, Arthur," he said, his grin dangling off his mouth in a way that made him blush. "See ya real early tomorrow."

Arthur didn't know exactly how to respond right after, but as soon as he held onto the door to steady himself, wetted his mouth and started to lean forward on his tiptoes, it seemed like Alfred knew what he was going to do. Warm fingers clasped the side of his face, and Arthur let him sweep the two of them into a kiss, their mouths meeting timidly for a moment.

They paused, their eyes locking into one another before boldly pushing in a little further. Arthur let his gaze trace along the defined outline of Alfred's face before sliding his eyes shut and letting his hands fall forward, nestling them in the crook of his elbow. He could feel the other's warm embrace slip to his waist and pull him closer to his chest as he parted his mouth slightly, deepening the kiss.

When they finally did break apart, Arthur's hands were tangled in Alfred's soft, wheat gold hair and Alfred's fingers had traced against Arthur's rosy cheeks and his slender waist. They were both deprived of air after all that, but when Alfred caught a hint of Arthur's sweet smile; his heart couldn't help but melt.

"Goodnight, Alfred," Arthur said before kissing his cheekbone and closing the door. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early."

Alfred nodded, and entwined his fingers with Arthur's for a heartbeat before bowing once and leaving the room.

Arthur wondered, just for one moment, whether Alfred's hands had been trembling after that last touch.

 _Has something happened? That's never happened before..._

* * *

Alfred released a long breath as he watched Arthur shuffle back into his room.

A twinge of guilt resonated in his chest; he hadn't been expecting that at all! The worst case, he'd thought, was Arthur storming out on him and leaving him stranded where he was. Even if he did, Alfred knew that he deserved it. He had been trying, really, to make sure that everyone was satisfied, but instead some of the Elite had been getting angry as he tried his best to share as much time with each of them as possible. Yes, he had a choice in mind, but with everything including the magic Trials and the advisors...did the Elite think that the person he had in mind was someone different?

 _But in the end, there is only one person,_ he thought as he made his way back to his room.

 _I won't let him down again._

* * *

my page just froze. developer tools saved my ass at 4am

i am so sorry but jetlag is making me feel like it's 2 _pm_ now save me

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	59. Past Light

_i am back, children, but i am Sick_

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

 _My dear brother,_

 _I'm coming home next week. Sister is doing very well, she took one class of mine yesterday, and she seems to be recovering from the rebel attack from last time. Do not worry, she has not been harmed._

 _I will explain to the prince that I have not been a spy for Clubs, which I am concerned that he might think of me as such. Do not organize a huge homecoming party._

 _Please give the rest of my living expense to your closest advisor. From what you have told me, I wish to help him with his financial troubles. Does he have a family that he needs to raise?_

Natalya swallowed tightly as she wrote the last sentence on her final letter from Spades to her brother. She couldn't betray any sort of connection to him, not while she was still here…

 _Never mind that, just make sure it is done. I suppose I will assume royal duties if you see fit. I will notify Sister that I am leaving. Thank you very much._

 _Your sister, Natalya._

She had kept her brother's latest message underneath her pillowcase, not wanting to read his disappointed words. She didn't care if he offered her more things, she was sick and tired of staying in the palace for someone she only thought of as a friend in a palace rapidly growing more lethal.

It only served to remind her of the poisonous atmosphere when she were growing up, her uncle having crowds of concubines around being one of them. Natalya hated these women even as a young child – with their heavy perfumes, seductive appearances and their too wide smiles. She had clung to Katya when one or a group strutted past, some cooing at the royal children while others simply ignored them. Katya had followed their mother for the year before she passed away after their father had been murdered, and Ivan was busy with his lessons as to become the next heir, so even before the concubines came to the castle Natalya would spend days in her room.

Until one fateful day.

She had been walking to the armoury to practice with her worn knives. Her uncle had refused to give her some new ones, saying it was unfit for a woman of her status to own weapons at all, so in all of her icy defiance she had brought her oldest pair and practiced target hitting until her hands got sore and the hay behind the target had all been punched up. Stuffing in the silk gloves she had been given for Christmas into a drawer somewhere in the palace, she had started stalking back to her room until she heard a sound.

It was coming from the chorus hall, a room sparsely used and only for entertainment purposes. Sometimes faceless musicians played their instruments, drawing out sweet music that she could only dream of while her uncle dined and laughed with his concubines and nobles populated the room, but mostly it was empty.

But this was none of the above scenarios, as a young boy who appeared to be no more than a year younger than her was playing the large, cream coloured piano situated to the left of the sprawling room. It wasn't until she got closer that she realized that the rich sound not only came from the instrument but his own voice.

He was singing an old tune from the valleys of Clubs, one that was lighter than the dramatic, thick music of the usual fare she heard. It spoke of light winds and lush grass and first love, beautiful to her mind but jarring to her heart.

It was a reminder of what it couldn't be for her.

"Y-Your Highness!" the boy said, and Natalya pulled herself out of her thoughts. His aquamarine eyes were diligent beneath his spectacles, and he arranged them, scooping up his music sheets with one flourish before bowing. "Forgive me, did you need this room for anything?"

"No," she said shortly. He nodded, but seemed a little perplexed at her silence. What did he expect her to say? She was fifteen, for Fates' sake!

"Princess Natalya, do you require anything of me?" he asked slowly, music clutched tightly in his hand.

"Your name," she said – almost sarcastically, but again was taken by surprise as he knelt down and kissed her hand, seemingly unshaken by his music scattering to the floor.

"Your Highness, my name is Eduard von Bock," he said, getting up and dusting some invisible particle from his dark green pants. Military fare? "And it is a pleasure. I was here for some practice before resuming my service to the crown."

Well. For a boy with speech like that, it was certainly a first to hear that spout from someone who either was aging and wore wigs, or a drunk woman with her clothes disheveled and tottering on her feet.

"What do you mean by service? Aren't you a noble?" she asked tersely.

"Ah, no, I am simply but a country boy at heart. However, I do serve in the royal guard." he smiled, and she was a little surprised to feel how genuine it was. "My grandfather personally taught me to read and write as well. Alas, he is very sick and so are my cousins, so I have travelled to the palace as a general to send money home."

"So that piece you were playing just then…from your grandfather?" she asked, and he nodded eagerly. She wondered again why in the Fates was he not trying to assemble his papers, but instead choosing to focus completely on her.

"That piece? Ah, yes. It was one of the first he ever taught me, it was because it was played at my mother and father's wedding." he said. "Unfortunately, they're overseas at the moment for clerical work but they come home every now and then. I keep my love of the piano in their honour."

"You really are devoted to your family, aren't you?" Natalya asked, the familiar barricade of hostility falling, instead giving way to curiosity.

"They're absolutely wonderful, and I wouldn't be where I am, meeting the lovely princess of Clubs as of right now," he said cheekily. He daren't stick out his tongue, from the rigid play dates with the newborn daughter of the Jack and Queen of Spades that little she did know.

But Eduard was something new. Something that made her want to come out of her room, her _shell_ , and she couldn't help but need more. They spent the rest of the afternoon there in the chorus hall talking about the valleys of Eduard's childhood until he was called back down for practice.

And their weekly meetings went from being an hour to a whole weekend long of talking and music and Eduard's rich voice filling the previously empty hall and the hole in Natalya's world. After a year Natalya sought him to be her best friend, to which he said was the best birthday present she could have ever given him. On her birthday, she snuck out to met his family with him - a pair of rosy cheeked musicians who were the parents she had never had, and his grandfather taught her the basics of the piano – but she never had the heart to tell him that she preferred the smooth touch of Eduard's hands over hers than anyone else.

Natalya also conveniently forgot to mention about the grand piano and gold she had gifted them after they had left, but they never even knew that she was the princess of Clubs, anyway…

She no longer clung to her siblings like a lifeline. When she was feeling particularly troubled or her uncle started lecturing her about the lifestyle of a princess, Eduard pressed a brass key into her gloved hands and let her into the barracks of the royal guard, where they once snuck out into the armoury and she picked out her favourite dagger to her heart's content, hearing the _thwack_ as it hit the target and pierced through the hay as he clapped in the distance and asked her to teach him, to which she teasingly replied that she would stab him first.

Their friendship kept on going even as their King grew increasingly fragmented. Queen Elizabeta and Jack Roderich sent their three year old daughter to Diamonds when one day, Natalya's uncle took out his rage on one of his butlers and severely injured the man. As Katya was once violently reduced to tears in her bedroom and Ivan got a beating and was sent to the Clubs facility after he stood up for her, Natalya got more paranoid as the days went on.

It took a week of gentle coaxing from Eduard as she let him hold her as she squeezed her eyes so tightly that she thought they might burst. He held her until she couldn't bear it anymore and began to cry, howling in her throat as he rocked her back and forth and began to sing like they always did, valley songs of birds and greenery and hopeless romantics.

But it wasn't until after Ivan ascended the throne and decided to send her away from the turbulent life of the Clubs court that she realized the true depth of their feelings.

By the Fates, she wished that it hadn't been too late.

* * *

"Natalya?" Eduard's voice, now deepened by the ripe age of his new adulthood, approached her as she settled next to him in the piano seat where they usually were. He had stopped after the sixth piece, their favourite as it was the one he had played when they had first met. "What's the matter?"

"You must promise to never tell anyone, understood? Not even your new liege Raivis," she said firmly. Her heart beat a little faster and her legs shook – nervousness was one of the number of emotions that she would only let him see.

"Yes, all right," he said quietly, stacking up his music as he went along. "What's wrong? Please tell me."

"Brother has… _King_ Ivan, now, has decreed me to go to Spades. He…" Natalya swallowed once, not wanting to look at his expression. "He says that I need a fresh start. You must have heard of the young Spadian prince, yes?"

"Prince Alfred? But why would he…" She could hear the cogs in his mind turning. The mocking, the loathing, four years of the strongest relationship she'd ever had-

The piano scores fluttered to the floor, like the first snow on a Diamonds winter.

"Natalya? No, that's not right!" he exclaimed, getting out of his seat and sounding agitated. "He surely must know that this is a bad idea? You are of royalty and shouldn't be forced to choose someone that you love this way!"

"I know, Ed," she said, trying to keep the pain from her voice. "But no matter. The only thing that matters is that you are safe, Eduard. I can't have my brave advisor wander when I'm not here, right?"

"It's not about _me,_ " he said passionately, his expression anguished. "It's always been about you. And I can't let you go to this Deciding because it's simply not fair. You mustn't love him!"

"I know! I don't have any choice! Most, if not all, marriages are arranged here in Clubs." Natalya said, trying to fight the defeat in her chest. "Nothing, no one can change that for us! For me!"

 _Except you. But my brother…what would he say?_

"I can change it for you," Eduard pleaded, falling to his knee like he did when they first met. "I'll change everything for you, if I could! Please, don't go."

"What?" she blurted. "Ed, you can't possibly be-!"

"I love you," he said, his voice trembling and his glasses askew. He didn't even have a hideously big diamond ring like those she had seen on her mother's hand. It was just himself that he had to offer, and that was all Natalya wanted.

"Please…I am but a simple valley boy that has had my heart captured. Your Highness, I would resign from my post just to serve you in any way. Let me join you," he begged, clutching her hands.

"I won't let you do that either, Eduard," she said thickly, tilting his glasses back on and fastening the grass to her finger. "You must stay here in Clubs where the world is a steady place. I need you, Ed…I love you."

He let out a choked noise and waited for her to fling her arms around his neck and kiss his hair as he wept. Only now did she realize that the piano they had played on since they were children were aged, the ivory of the keys now yellowed with age as their relationship changed to something irreversible.

She had made him stay away after that. Partially out of fear, to protect him from her brother's wrath, and out of love, how she could not bear to see Eduard call her name before she left. That night she was determined to slip away without him noticing. Not wanting to give him a chance to chase her, she simply left an address.

Months had passed. Natalya had thought he felt betrayed, heartbroken; a thousand things she had not meant to cause him. But if it what was needed to keep him safe, then it had to be like this.

The only envelope she got from his pen was a week before she entered the palace - she had been on edge since Ivan and Katya had both been advising her and she was more than used to discreetly green and blatantly white envelopes sitting in her crude metal mailbox.

* * *

She had to leave her house right after she finished her quick shift at the cafe. The postman had quickly scurried away, leaving her alone - probably because of the last time she had snapped at him - as she went to her now stuffed mailbox.

"Bill, bill, bill - wait, what's this?" she muttered, pulling out a plain envelope with the Clubs symbol on it.

Looking to and fro, she swiftly went back to her small cottage, placing the bills on her kitchen counter before opening it.

"If brother sends me _one_ more letter about Spades, I'm storming back to Clubs," she growled, but was a little surprised when two pieces of paper fell out.

Flipping them over, she saw that the envelope was carefully inscribed with her new name. They had arranged a new surname for her in fears that her pale locks and piercing blue eyes would somehow link her back to her roots, and so she had no choice but to comply.

 _natalya arlovskaya._

Once she saw the deliberate lowercase letters, she knew exactly who it was. It made her grimace to se her fabricated name, but even so, she gripped the papers with a hunger she had not possessed earlier, devouring the words.

 _my dearest natalya,_ it read,

 _it has been months since i have been able to write you. when you did leave in the middle of the night, i was terrified that something dreadful had happened to you. however, I managed to contact your brother and he said that you are all right, but you have things to do as princess. but the main thing is that you are safe._

"What?" she hissed, but she didn't put it down, pacing as she went. This definitely wasn't what she was expecting.

 _i constantly wonder how you are doing where you are. is the weather as horrendous as clubs'? sometimes i get sidetracked looking at the picture of us on our table and barely manage to stuff it in my desk before your brother pops in and demands my latest piece of paperwork constituting how clubs is run! how exhausting, and i never get enough time to feed the little rabbits that king ivan keeps. you know, the other day i found one that reminded just of you. threatening expression, grumpy and brooding, but after i spent a few weeks with it the little thing warmed up to me pretty fast. she's very cute, and i managed to spare one of my bowties – the one i lent to you for your fifteenth birthday? you yelled at me for not matching your outfit, then you went to straighten it. she's very cute, if not a little protective. reminds me a lot of you._

"What do you mean by cute, you jerk? Like hell I am!" she grumbled at the letter, but gave a half smile, half grimace as she settled into her armchair. It almost transported her back.

 _i wonder when you're coming back, nat. it's been so long since i saw you in the chorus hall. it's been years since we first met, that younger guard who loved music and the princess of a kingdom. obviously, i remember that you hated that you had to wear a fancy dress and take etiquette lessons and sit properly, but i think you liked the power. you could handle it, huh? i knew you were always destined for great things, my dear. you still can do it, i swear. but hey, look where we are now. you're in spades, hiding out for the benefit of clubs, and i'm ivan's most trusted advisor-maybe sans little rai. i must say i've done well, but..nat, why are you still there? there's no point. ivan's back, we're all safe, and there's no need for another heir. if you like it there, nat, i would come, but…i don't know what you want. i…i miss you._

" _Ed_ ," she choked, feeling the lump in her throat more painfully than she had before. "What are you saying?"

 _it's been years, my dear. i guess it's sort of stupid, but i've been saving up. you know, being an advisor means i have top notch pay, thanks to your brother's kindness and your own. but again, when…if the time comes, i want to support you and our family. maybe it's pride, but i just know i can't depend on the palace to care for us. i want to quit my job full time to spend the rest of my life with you. i bet you're laughing now, nat, but i'm serious. i know that ivan wants you in spades for things even he won't tell me, but if you are truly happy in spades, so be it. i'll go there. anywhere you want. nat…i just wish i could do more for you. crazy, huh?_

 _but if you're happy there, and if that doesn't involve me, go on. i know the deciding process over there is starting soon and you have already been chosen, but it's fine. i just want to see you happy, in the end. guess tino could be a good replacement-of course not!_

 _i'm visualizing you scrunching up your nose and sharpening your knife – perhaps the butter one you leveled at me when we were still foolish children? tino's already married this pretty scary guy called berwald, anyway. it's sort of like he wants to kill me, sometimes, but it's probably just me._

 _maybe when they ask me to come to their wedding - no, wait, their baby shower, i'll see you again. swear i will. somehow, someday, like you are for me after all, you're the only one for me._

 _ed_

She felt the tears drip down her chin before she could stop them.

"God, I hate you," she cursed, folding it back down and stomping around the living room, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers.

After that, she had tried her absolute best to forget him. But now, with Alfred's surprised expression in front of her eyes, she couldn't think of anything but her old home. But even to someone that she thought of as a friend, an ally, Eduard was only hers, their memories something precious that she would never share.

* * *

"Alfred…I wish to go back to Clubs. Back to my family."

"Who's your-"

Natalya picked at the small plate of chocolates that he had laid out for the two of them in his bedroom.

"The Primary Suit. King Ivan and Joker Katya."

* * *

character development? but author i can't believe?

mailbox

 _pastaaddict_ \- fingers crossed they won't muck it up again!

 _kittymagician -_ thank you, that means a lot to me! honestly when i first created her as a character, i wasn't sure how she was going to end up, but she turned out to be this haha. not sure if that explains it, but something like that ^^

 _hearthorse11_ \- aph fandom may be not as active as before, but i love these two as much as ever. i'm actually relatively new (2 years) in the fandom but they'll probably bury me w/ usuk doujinshi in the end ;)

 _russia says hello_ \- it's worn off a bit now, thank you for asking! and kiku...yes, something's going to happen with him soon. *runs off to write said thing*

 _regine_ \- i've missed them too. since the fates are trying to

see how alfred is coming along, it would be a bit unfair to just see arthur haha. natalya willl be revealed these two chapters! and for the other couples you mentioned...they'll be back :)

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	60. Unearthed

my phone: oh you set a notification for a new chapter? that's cute. we won't remind u

me: um but

my phone: do i need to repeat myself

me:

my phone:

my phone: that's right. now get back to rereading usuk fanfiction

me:

me: ,,,right

* * *

so this literally happened. and i have no time to reply, so they'll be next week! i'm so sorry ;w;

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

Alfred's blood went cold with shock. What in the Fates was she-

"It's true," she said evenly. "And no, before you ask, I'm not a spy, Brother – Ivan simply just sent me away for my sake."

"...what do you want from me?" he blurted, the first thing that came to mind. "An alliance, or-"

"No…?" she said, sounding a little apprehensive. "I just said I'm not interested in spying or hurting Spades in any way. Which is why I told you all about the things happening in Clubs."

"Were you supposed to come into this thing romantically or to win my heart…?" Alfred said quietly, swallowing the chocolate and clearing his throat so he was able to swallow properly. "And are you _really_ the princess of Clubs? Katya never mentioned you, and Yao says that your magic input isn't anything special!"

"Do you _think_ I could have made this up?" Natalya said, almost coldly. It was almost as if the cold winds and hints of snow had seeped into her voice, chilling the room.

"My _sister_ was told to keep quiet for my safety. She was supposed to take the throne, not my brother. After the whole scandal with Ivan vanishing that happened before either of us were born. I wasn't _supposed_ to exist after my father's death."

"Scandal?" Alfred questioned. Suddenly this barrage of information was something else – not supposed to exist? Was Natalya a mistake as a person from the beginning? Did she have other motives other than her safety?

"He went missing shortly after the last King of Clubs came in. But that's the only thing I've been told. But my sis – your Joker – she couldn't do anything about it, either. I was there in case someone tried to assassinate me and steal the crown. But…I'm still here, so."

"Is it really bad there? In Clubs?" he knew it was practically asking Natalya for information about something very personal, but she seemed to take this in stride, nodding.

"You're lucky, Prince Alfred," she said gently, noting his shaken expression. "We don't have much freedom to love back at home. You must understand. I had no choice."

"Then why didn't you find yourself attached to me?" he asked, as if he was far away.

Natalya was silent for a moment, and then she spoke.

"Because you're in love with someone else. And you don't want to be involved with such a troubled person like me."

With that, she excused herself.

* * *

Relief seeped into her chest. A quiet entry, a quiet leaving…just like last time. Alfred hadn't been too angry after he had made her swear that she wasn't a spy or anything, and she was planning to contact her sister soon enough.

However sudden it was, Natalya doubted anyone really cared. Marianne was good as gone, she thought as she remembered the plan that she hatched the other day about going out of her way to insult the other Chosen until the next person left. No doubt about it, everyone wanted this to be over.

She could tell how fragile Alfred was becoming. No doubt after the whole thing with Leon and the fact that he wasn't very good with maintaining multiple relationships at one go was obviously taking a toll. With those wandering eyes and awkward tones, he'd better make a decision soon or he'd find himself completely alone.

But two gone, in one week? Natalya paused before shoving in another one of her coats. What would that do for Alfred's reputation?

She didn't dislike him, in fact she had grown to care for him greatly both as a sister and a friend. Would he think that the rest of the Elite disliked him?

"Fuck," she hissed, resting her forehead against the bedpost. "Goddamnit, _why_?"

A small knock came from outside her room that stopped her from destroying her bedroom. She thought it could be Jamie, who she should really have told that she was leaving, but to her surprise it was Alfred with a sober expression on his face.

"Lady Natalya." His tone was reserved, and for a moment Natalya dreaded the feeling of losing his friendship.

"Your Highness."

"I've gotten your brother on the port. He wants to speak with you," Alfred said, sounding a little tense. "Follow me downstairs to the port room. Please."

* * *

If someone had asked Natalya about how she had expected him to react to her secret, it would have involved her being tossed in a dungeon, coming clean as he bent on one knee – if it came to something that horrible – or being beheaded. Not a discussion with her brother through a screen.

He was strangely amplified on the display, his green eyes glossed over until they caught sight of Natalya's face staring back at him. Ivan sat back, his mouth twisting into a smile. She tried to ignore Alfred's mouth pressing into a thin line, and she bowed as she usually did.

"Natalya! How have you been?" he said cheerfully, but even then was there a hint of unease in his tone; he had obviously caught sight of Alfred in the corner.

"Cut the crap, why the hell have you sent your sister over here to spy on _me_?" Alfred said hastily, stepping forward. "And don't use that stupid accent."

Ivan seemed taken aback with this statement, and folded his arms against his chest. "What spying? I did not put her up to that, either."

"Alfred." she said quietly, almost desperately. Worst-case scenario that this could cause was full blown war between the most powerful military and the most magic capable nations. Not too good. "I was never here for spying. I won't lie to you. You've done so much for me in the short time that I was here."

"How do I know that?" he said, but it wasn't threatening in any way. In fact, it felt almost as if he was begging her to give him an answer.

Even Ivan was quiet now. Guilt filled her veins as she realized how fragile this had actually made him.

"I know how you feel." her tone was quiet, demeaning nothing like how she wanted it to turn out, but she continued on anyway.

"My mother was expected to kill herself after my father was murdered for the bit of gold sitting on top of his head. My uncle was a tyrant that beat my older siblings until one was in tears and one-" she gestured to Ivan. "-one was sent away into the northern part of Clubs to be trained for the crown without any love. No one ever noticed me. I knew the only thing I would ever be good for was to be married off."

Natalya saw his chest heave, his eyes soften, her brother's gaze on her figure half a continent away, but she wasn't finished yet. "I never knew the warmth of a loving family for long. But I would never wish that on anyone else. But for you - marrying someone for a reason other than love, marrying someone who isn't what he or she is? That's not right."

"I don't want to wish my fate on anyone else, especially you, Alfred. You've been like a brother to me. I know I don't deserve your friendship anymore, but the only thing Ivan wanted to do was to protect my sister and me while she was assigned here. We're the only thing either of us have left of love!" she admitted. "You're lucky. I know practically everyone here admires you for the right reasons," _except Marianne, of course._ "But I don't want to break that. So if you would…if you _could_ just let me go back to Clubs quietly, that would be more than enough."

Both of them in the room let out breaths that they hadn't realized they had been holding, and he crossed the room in a few quick strides, taking her cold hands in his warm ones.

"Natalya…as long as I know that you aren't trying to hurt anyone or anything by your presence here…I trust you. But getting you to go quietly, I'm not sure about that."

"No one really cares," she said, letting out a half smile, half grimace. "Just in the dead of night would suit me. The cold won't be a problem either, I promise you that little."

"I'll send a carriage," Ivan piped after a moment, sounding muted. "I'll even throw a huge celeb-"

"No, please," she said awkwardly, "Not even a balloon. I just want to see everyone again. You too, brother. Can you send a carriage, though? Right now?"

"What?" both prince and king blurted in the same moment, in a rare show of unity. "You'll leave tomorrow?"

"I think I've overstayed my welcome, Alfred," she said steadily. "And up there," she tugged a little on some of his hair on the side of his face, letting a playful smile slip onto her face. "You know who you're gonna pick. Don't mess it up, buddy."

And for the last time in that palace, she managed to silence two rulers of the most powerful kingdoms in Cards.

Beat that.

* * *

She pulled her shawl over her shoulders, resembling an overly fluffy bird before turning away to walk downstairs, into the thickening snows of Spades to talk to a certain someone.

A maid, one with fair hair tied back into her hat, bowed quietly as she passed by to ask for Jamie. Natalya waited as she scurried into the steel wall of the servants' quarters, and after a few moments of awkwardly waiting around his eager face presented itself to her.

"My – my Lady! Is there something that you need? I'm sorry for not being in the room where you needed me, I…"

"Nothing to worry about, Jamie," she said, letting a lot more warmth seep into her voice than ever before. "I just want to talk to you in private in my room."

"Is it, um, something that the other Elite can't hear?" he stuttered, surprised by her warmth.

The two of them scurried up the steps, past the bustle of the dining hall as she knew the other four were having dinner in, past the armoury, past every other room that she was leaving behind.

"Yes. It's just that…" she waited for him to close the door before she resumed her sentence. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning."

"W-what?" he gasped, disbelief splashed all over his face. "But my lady, I thought you and his Highness were doing very well! If I could have called it, I would have thought you would have won…"

"No, no, Jamie," she laughed, "Nothing like that. The prince only cares for me like a friend. I couldn't possibly force him to love me like that."

 _Besides, if he'll have me back…_

"So." she spread her hands out, placing them firmly on her leather bound suitcase. "If you don't mind, can you please help me pack?"

"Anything for you, my lady." he said shyly. "Although, if you don't mind, would you like to keep the dresses I made for you?"

"Oh? I thought we couldn't," she remarked as Jamie bustled her into her changing room like they usually did.

"I made them just for you, my lady, it would be a shame if I had to throw them away," he smiled, and Natalya thought about just how much she would miss him.

"Jamie…would you like to come back to Clubs with me?"

As soon as those words flew out of her mouth, she knew there was no going back.

"Clubs?" he squeaked, sounding part astounded and terrified. "B-but, my lady…"

"Long story," she said awkwardly. "I'll explain…"

"My…my…my…lady, I would have, um, never would have guessed!" Jamie stuttered, his tongue tripping and his hands shaking after their long talk. Natalya had asked him to get some warm coffee for both him and her. "The lost princess of…of…"

"No, I'm not lost at all, my family knows where I am. But would it be too selfish a request to ask you to stay with me? You've been very invaluable to me."

"If his Highness will allow me, I will follow my lady," he began, but Natalya shook her head.

"Only if you want to. You did mention you had family in Diamonds before?"

"Um, just my sister and brother," he said quietly.

"Then what are they called?"

"Jodie and Feliks," Jamie said, letting a smile fall onto his face.

"Then I can get them to come over if you'd like." she pulled the brush across her hair again, scrunching up her nose as she found a particularly messy tangle. "You'll be treated better in the court than here. But you mustn't say anything to the others, all right?"

"I'll only stay here until it's time for us to leave." he nodded quickly. "My lady…it's been so long since I've seen them!"

"It's one of the few ways I can begin to thank you," Natalya said.

Maybe with all her ghosts behind her, she could start anew.

* * *

i just wondered

does anyone even read this anymore :/

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	61. Origins

i literally just realized we hit 60 chapters here oops

and thank you for all those very kind words! it really means a lot to me, and i'm so honoured people are still reading this haha. this fic has been a part of my life since...i'm not sure, around two years now? it seems like forever lmao.

i'll finally get to replies this time - i double set my phone's notifications i swear

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

 _disclaimer for second person in the last paragraph!_

also. i'm not going to talk about what happened in the US, but **alfred f jones** deserves better tho

* * *

The next day, Alfred woke up later than usual. Then he forgot his shirt, prompting his poor maid to turn bright red and quickly escort herself out of his room. To top it all off, he'd had to be dragged by Matthew to breakfast since he could barely keep his eyes open, but secretly felt thankful for his brother once he noticed Yao's exasperated face.

"What are you going to do with that young lady?" he asked quietly as soon as he took his place next to him, watching Natalya stick a fork in her pancakes and slowly chew.

Of course, Yao being Yao required a mountain of paperwork and answers after their discovery about Natalya, and threatened to throw her in jail four times.

Needless to say, it was kind of the reason he had a bad time sleeping.

"Natalya, well, sort of runs her own agenda. I just think we should let her do her own thing and leave as soon as possible," he muttered, casting a look to her. She was poised as always, her expression tight but not strained, but seemed a little more relaxed as usual as she and Arthur talked for a moment before returning to their breakfasts.

In fact, all of the Elite looked a little less stressed as they dug into their breakfasts. They had all settled for warmer foods now the winter chill was starting to set in, and the light snowfall was a picturesque view to sit against. Alfred mentally reminded himself to look after Hero's paws; they got tender after the marble floors in the palace and the snow banks outside got freezing.

"Uh, so everyone," he announced after breakfast, to a smiling audience. "There's not really a lot prepared today, so you'll be free to do whatever you want. There's a lesson at three with the Jack, so I guess if you want to do well in the magic trials then you should come."

"Of course," a voice piped up. The others quickly joined in, some slower than others, but Alfred didn't think about it much as he sat back down to chat to Yao for a few more moments.

"If you're ready to talk to me, bring Lady Natalya and meet me – and Matthew - in my office at seven tonight, all right?" Yao said. "I have some things that I have to look after, so you don't need to worry about it. I'll see if I can contact the Clubs Primary Suit if I have to."

"I, uh, talked with the King yesterday. He is already preparing to send her home."

A strange emotion appeared on Yao's face for a moment before he nodded quietly.

"I think you might want to talk to the others. They're wanting to talk to you, we'll discuss her later."

"Is it all right if we talk about the Trials again? You said you found a good spo-"

"What? Yes, yes," came the suddenly distracted reply, and Alfred watched in confusion as Yao quickly went back to his room.

Was it because he was that much of a pain to be with nowadays?

* * *

"Any reason for not spending time with the Elite today?" Matthew asked quietly, folding his arms in a questioning gesture. "And why your bedroom?"

"Just a lot of things I'm confused about," Alfred said, sounding tired. "I'm just…well. I don't like the process which we have to go through to choose my queen. And Yao…Yao's been acting weird."

"I mean, Yao's busy as always. I'll look after him soon. Deciding? Well, I guess you have a point. Dating thirty people at once sounds like a horrible nightmare," Matthew scoffed. "You even think about falling in love before?"

"I was thinking about that the other night…I'm attached to so many people that I don't think I can break their heart when I'm forced to." Alfred sighed, his mouth twisting into a frown. Matthew instantly knew that he was being dead serious.

"Look. What do you need help with? Yao's almost found the spot for the trials, if all goes well we'll finish the week before Christmas. That still on par with your plan?"

"What does it feel like to love with no strings attached?" his brother said quietly, suddenly sounding a world away. "Without the world fixated on your golden boy status and harder and harder choices to be made? What does it feel like to meet – to _know_ your soulmate?"

"I don't know," Matthew said flatly, his throat constricting with the lie. He did know. Of pale skin and snow-white hair, lopsided grins and slender flicking mischievously from side to side. "But wasn't it mentioned that you-"

"-don't have the luxury of that. It's not up to me the anoint the Mark in the end, the Fates have to do that," Alfred said. "What do I do then?"

"You forget that the Fates _confirm_ your choice, not make it for you," Matthew said. "If you believe in the person that you choose, the Mark should appear."

"I want to go to ask for guidance in the chapel downstairs." Alfred said suddenly, standing up and slamming his fist against Matthew's neat stack of papers.

"That took me hours," Matthew said, but no real venom was in his voice. "If they've really started talking with the Elite, it sounds like a good idea. You should bring one for Hearts, just in case, all right? She's the one you should be sacrificing today."

"Good point," Alfred said, but he was already halfway out the door.

* * *

The rays of coloured light were what greeted the prince as he approached the small building. Unlike other castles, the shrine to the Fates of Cards was nestled deep inside the palace for the space.

Slipping off his shoes and straightening out his cape, carefully keeping a grip on his silver tin, he walked inside the room, bare footsteps striking against the marble as he approached the four mats – yellow, green, red and blue in the middle as the main Fate they worshipped.

Alfred approached the statue first, kneeling down in front of the carefully carved shape in a show of respect. The Fate, with his gold flecked hair pulled back in a band seemed to command an army with his one stretched out hand – he was also holding an intricately designed book and seemed to be drawing magic from it.

"My Fate…" Alfred began, and pulled the violet cape from his shoulders, draping it around the figure. "Please take this as an offering to keep magic steady in Cards. We will hold a Trial very soon, and this blessing is needed."

 _Please, protect Arthur,_ he thought subconsciously. _He doesn't need this haunting him. Make sure his magic doesn't frighten him._

Bowing once more, he laid his fingers against the tome that his Fate held then moved on to the Diamonds, a figure laden with carved jewels and arms encircling his chest, a glassy expression filling his eyes, however beautifully carved his features were. The Clubs Fate was covered with a thick veil that covered her spoken of motherly features, but her arms were outstretched as a mother would to her child that gave a certain type of warmth, almost canceling out the menacingly carved little creature near her feet.

However, these weren't the Fates Alfred needed to sacrifice to today – the one he _did_ need to, the one representing Hearts, was placed near the Spades symbolizing their newly formed bond. (To his amusement, the Clubs was the farthest away from them.)

Her tiny toes were outstretched in her sculpture, and Alfred could see the flutters of her small cape as she reached up, hands tucked neatly behind her back. Her long hair rested against her shoulders, and her childish face was fixed in a joyful expression unlike the other three.

"Hearts," Alfred said hesitatingly, placing down his box and gently opening the lid. "Fate, I'd, um, like to ask something of you." He took out the things from inside – a small bracelet, a music box – little girlish-like things he knew that would bring him favour. "I've been going through a Deciding recently, and there's something I need help with…"

He barely noticed the dimming of the stained glass lights amongst the murals as Matthew opened the door behind him, his expression curious.

 _You're not the only lovelorn person in this castle, you know._

* * *

The snow was falling across the carriage as Natalya sat facing Jamie, her attention fixed on the letter Alfred had left her as she pulled away from the palace.

 _Dear Natalya,_

 _Thank you for your parting words. You told me that the person that I loved would ruin my life. I thought it was you for a moment, the way that you just seemed to turn it over (well, to be fair, I looked at everyone the same way after you told me), but as we talked for longer and I got to know you better, I knew that you could never think of me that way. And I knew that I couldn't either._

 _But I don't regret being your friend. You have helped me in so many ways – ways that you don't know yet – and I could only wish I could help you a little longer. But if your place belongs back in Clubs with your brother, I'll let you be. I'm thankful you got to say goodbye to Katya without anyone being suspicious. I'm sorry that I can't mention a lot of things without you being put in a troubling position. Our countries aren't the best of allies, but our friendship has given me faith._

 _You mentioned those little dolls the first time we talked. Matroyshka, I think the Jack of Spades said they were. If it's not too much of a problem, could you send one over? I know you laughed at me before, but…if the time's right, I think it could be a nice engagement gift, just in case my stupid mouth can't say anything right._

 _Even if I'm not one hundred percent sure who it's for just yet, I think you know. You gave me that smirk, said his name, his face you wouldn't stop picking out. I think you were rooting for him in the beginning. It's just a gut feeling that you went after her but not him…but you're smarter than I am when it comes to love, I know. I'm guessing you still have someone at home…?_

 _Don't tell me who I'll choose in the end, though. I need to find out by myself._

 _Thank you again._

 _Alfred._

* * *

 _Clubs._

He is standing in the hallway.

He's lost his tie and waistcoat in favour of a thick winter coat, not so different from her own as her carriage pulls up to the front door and Jamie hops out, shivering for a moment before timidly reaching out for Natalya.

Wrapped in her shawl, she tries to not search, but as soon as she can sense him, she can't help but choke out a sob as she hears the thud of books against the pedestal where they propped up books against as children.

She knows where she is going as she pelts across the room, kicking off her heels and sprinting against the freezing marble.

Jamie nods, falling back to stay with the carriage, but she runs into the palace leaving him behind just this once.

He is there, sitting forlornly at the ebony piano of their youth, his fingers tickling the keys, drawing out a sweet melody. But the only one Natalya needs to hear is his voice.

"Eduard," she says quietly, her hands falling to her sides in a rare moment of vulnerability.

 _You're right, Alfred. I do._

He freezes, then turns around, the _clap_ of his shoes against the surface making her heart beat that little bit faster.

A sound. "Natalya…Natalya!"

In that moment, she does not care if her brother were to storm in the room, which she knows he will not. Just.

Just, the sensation of her Eduard is enough for her to start laughing as she has not done for years, at the way he clings to his thick coat and begins to cry happy tears, his glasses lopsided and stained with glossed over eyes.

"Marry me," she blurts out before she realizes it, feels his crying stop for a moment. Aquamarine meets ice blue, and the world is so still for just another heartbeat.

Then he resumes weeping, sobbing _yes yes yes_ , as she repeats the phrase in disbelief as the two of them collapse on the floor.

 _Alfred…find this happiness like I have. You deserve all of it._

* * *

 _replies_

 _tomato talks_ \- hello tomato. i'm sorry i forgot to put you in the soup i was cooking tonight lmao. thank you, i'm super flattered you called it a masterpiece haha.

 _pastaaddict_ \- i think they actually would! i don't think we've seen the last of the princess yet.

 _overworldly_ \- yes, it's the final four! even i have some trouble remembering sometimes haha. whether it'll appear on _arthur_ , though...that's a secret for now ;)

 _russia says hello_ \- i was kind of looking for another way to portray aph belarus as more than a psycho/like i see her in lots of fics? i feel like she's a really in depth character and i was more than happy to explore this side of her!

 _kittymagician_ \- :') that means a lot as a writer. there's been some times where i just feel like my writing isn't good enough, etc. but thank you ;u;

 _sumaluma_ \- omg bless you. and i prewrite chapters as i go on, and (my phone notes are getting so long) so i don't think i'll be thinking of abandoning any time soon!

\- regine no, exams cards lol. i mean last chapter it wasn't really hinted who she was rooting for so i hope it's going to be a bit more obvious with this one! and they, well...still have a bit of healing to go, especially between the king and the soon to be king haha. and i don't think natalya knows _exactly_ what happened to ivan/yao, or another purpose that ivan secretly sent her for...

 _hearthorse11_ \- ah please don't be sorry! i understand everyone's super busy (i should be writing english thesis paper oops) so please take your time - i just hope you're still enjoying the story i'm putting out.

 _broken together_ \- wow your username sounds like a couple that's going to be in p hot water when this fic ends (feel free to guess LMFAO) but THANK YOU - i hope what happens won't disappoint you ;)

* * *

your words are all so nice. motivation and faith restored, i feel more like i'm writing this for everyone's enjoyment and not just, you know, for me, three trash bins (also me but more powerful) and a chair (not me.)

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	62. Agape

i am so sorry but yes im going on another trip pls punch me

also i practically don't have any prewritten chaps left since school, motivation and traveling has sapped a lot of my time and strength. so i'm very sorry ;n; but i'm not giving up

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for arthur getting a little bullied .-.**

* * *

"You were in there for a lot longer than I was," Alfred said, clapping a hand on Matthew's shoulder with a shit-eating grin.

God, half the time he wanted to punch his brother was because of this.

"Well, I'm sorry that I didn't want to disturb you, _high prince_ ," Matthew shot back as they walked back up to the first floor of the palace. "But whatever. You planning something for tomorrow? The Elite might not be happy that you've chosen to not spend time with them today."

"I don't know." Alfred said tersely, mood suddenly turning serious. "I mean, with the whole thing ending pretty soon I'm not sure if everything's gonna be okay, with the Trials and everything…"

 _Does this mean he's interested in choosing Arthur?_ Matthew privately wondered as they walked past the Drawing Room, where he could briefly hear the chatter of the Elite, accompanied with a few laughs. _I mean, after what's happened I'm relieved that he's got a choice. But he does have a point…_

"Brother, look…it doesn't matter right now. What you have to focus on right now is just making sure that your final decision is fine with you. There's no rush to end it-"

"No, there is for me," Alfred blurted. "I…I think after that, that I know what to do now. I have to go talk with Yao about what's left to do."

"Eliminating someone is really the next thing you should do now." Matthew said firmly, not wanting to sugarcoat this on any level. "It'll make sure that less people's hopes will be dashed."

His mouth pressed into a firm line, blue eyes narrowing in concentration as if he were focusing specifically on something. After a moment, he hesitantly turned to face Matthew.

"I think we should check on Yao first, though-" he said, but his brother cut him off, shaking his head.

"Hey. You've got a lot on your plate right now. Maybe you should just focus on the Deciding right now – you know that's what Yao would have wanted. I'll check up on him now, all right?" He clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Uh, okay," Alfred said reluctantly. "Give him my best, and tell him to take a break."

"Yeah. Stay warm."

The two of them bit back their losses and turned on the other side of the hall, walking away to wherever their lives demanded of them next.

* * *

"Prince Alfred!" voices blurted out as soon as he backtracked and entered the Drawing Room with a smile as calm as he could manage. Marianne sharply tore her gaze from the window and arranged her hair, Emma smoothed out her skirt and beamed at him, Alfonso stood up from his chair with a grin. Arthur tipped his head to one side, closing his book, their gazes meeting for a moment before Arthur's expression shifted from one of relief to one of concern.

That surprised him. To know that someone could see through his guise so seamlessly…it wasn't to say that he was a little intimidated.

"Hello, everyone," he said cheerfully, picking a couch and settling himself onto it. "How's everyone dealing with the cold?"

"The coat I wore the other day – you were right, it really does suit me!" Emma sang, doing a twirl. "It keeps me super snug."

"Yeah, me too," Alfonso said cheerfully. "I went to visit Butterscotch the other day, and the stable hands even let me groom her!"

"Psh," Marianne snorted. "What you two did doesn't compare what I and the prince did the other night,"

Alfred tried his best to ignore Arthur's bewildered expression, and simply smiled as he did, acknowledging everyone as best as he could. But a seed of guilt planted itself in his heart as he looked away a little, and he made a mental note to speak to him privately later.

"Hey, guys," he laughed sheepishly. "Okay. There's nothing special planned for today, but lessons are cancelled since the Jack isn't feeling too well today, but other than that everything's normal today."

"Are you free today?" Alfonso piped up.

"Uh, since the Trials are coming up soon, I have to do a lot of paperwork to make sure that all of you are safe before anything happens. I just want to make sure Jack Yao has less work, so I'm not really free today, sorry. If you want to do something together tomorrow, we'll talk about it. But for today, relax, and practice on your own if you think you need it." He risked searching for Arthur's gaze for a heartbeat, and to his surprise their eyes met.

The deflated atmosphere of the group was palpable, and Alfred desperately hoped that no one would follow him out of the room. To his dismay, though, no sooner had he closed the doors had they been flung open.

But it wasn't who he thought it was going to be as he turned around and Arthur's jade eyes fixated him with his green gaze.

"I wish to speak to you," he said quietly, and pulled him underneath the sprawling staircase that led to the royals' rooms.

"What do you want to talk about?" Alfred said, removing his gloves as Arthur approached him, thick eyebrows scrunching cutely for a moment before Alfred stashed the gloves in his pockets. _Is he upset about those dates? Ack!_ "UH, uh, about the dates-"

"I'm not angry about that, Alfred," Arthur said, his voice muffled. He turned to face him directly under the darkness of the sunset. Shadows had already cast against the banister, and with a small fascination Alfred realized that his gaze had already been roaming over the light painting itself in rays against Arthur's face.

"You know why I had to, Arthur," Alfred said, flushing a little out of embarrassment. "My duty in this…"

"I'm aware that all these interactions took place before our, um, reconciliation," Arthur said haltingly, shifting on his tiptoes. "I know it's your duty to attend these dates until the process ends. But that doesn't mean that I'm a…I can't be a little wounded about all this."

"No, no, I get that you would be. But that doesn't mean that you meant any less to me before we talked to each other again. I shouldn't have without considering _your_ feelings first, Artie…you know why."

"Alfred," Arthur said. The prince's breath stilled as he took his hand in his, shyly interlocking their fingers before he spoke again. "I know you're doing the best you can. It wasn't you that made up this competition – how many years ago?"

"Dunno. It's been here for many kingdoms, a bunch of generations, as far as I can remember." Alfred squeezed Arthur's hand in return, suddenly aware of the softness of the sensation. "It's the rules of this game. It's not fair, because I know not everyone gets to see me as real, as a full person instead of sharing myself with everyone else."

Alfred's heart gave a jolt at this, and the pair fell silent for a while. They had only been in this sort of situation a handful of times, but like this, _this_ \- atmosphere was something else. It wasn't anything like what he was expecting this meeting to go at all. In the silence, he could practically hear his heartbeat going a million miles an hour.

"Alfred…I know what you're showing me, now, is real. Even though you try to hide a mask, I," he looked away, blushing a little, seeming unsure of himself. Alfred reached out as if to reassure him, grazing before Arthur moved close and allowed his calloused touch to trail down to his elbow.

"I think…I think that you've subconsciously showed me your true side without even knowing it. The guise, the masks are off now –it's just you trying…you're just trying to be yourself."

"Well…well, heh," he stammered, taken off guard. His guise of being Cards' golden boy had really caught up to him, hadn't it? He'd been wanting to wear it to kingship, hopefully, but…welp, there it went. Going to be missed? He wasn't sure with the person in front of him...

"Uh, do you like it? The – full, I guess? - me?" he said sheepishly, rubbing against the small of his back. Arthur's face fell into one of the most breathtaking smiles that Alfred had ever seen, and he couldn't help but fall for Arthur all over again. "I, uh, know I've been getting worse over the weeks, but…"

"Hush, of course I do," Arthur laughed, bringing his other hand forward to caress Alfred's cheek with gentle fingers. "For someone who doubts themselves as much as you say I do, you shouldn't be doing that to yourself."

He wasn't sure what made him move first. His own heart, swelling with undisguised, emotion or Arthur's green eyes, brimming over with unspoken love. He really shouldn't have done it, seeing that it was only a few days since they had reunited. But it was in that moment that he felt a little less afraid.

"Neither should you!" Alfred exclaimed, swiftly clasping his hand closer to his cheek. "As in you shouldn't doubt yourself any more. Even if…even if it's too soon, that your feelings for me haven't fully come back yet, even if you hate me and reject me this very moment, I _need_ you to have that in your heart even if I can't be in there." he said tenderly, taking a deep breath before saying the next sentence. "I don't l-love you for anything else but yourself, Arthur."

His cheeks heated up remarkably as soon as the words flew out of Alfred's mouth, highlighting those adorable freckles. _He almost said it. Did he? He means it, does he? He was going to say it, I know he was, I swear to the Fates…_

"I…I, umm, I didn't – don't expect that sort of praise," he said bashfully. "I…I don't even know if you think I'm good enough for you-"

"You're not _just_ good enough for me," Alfred said, taking a bold step forward and reaching out for Arthur's other hand. There was a pregnant silence, and then he entwined their fingers together, bare palms brushing together in the smallest of kisses.

"You're so much more than that." And with that, he felt Arthur's arms snake around his shoulders and tickle the ends of his golden hair teasingly, removing his glasses before Alfred's arms slid around his waist and pulled him closer, reveling in the musky scent of books and – roses? – as one of Arthur's hands fell against his chest and kissed him. They were so close that Arthur could feel the flutter of Alfred's eyelashes against his own and the thrumming of his heartbeat against his fingertips as Alfred's mouth melded against his.

He could feel Alfred's nose brush alongside his cheekbone as the other boy tilted his mouth to deepen the kiss. He shifted closer, Arthur's hand stroking his hair and letting out a soft gasp as –

Loud noises from beyond the corridor made the couple break apart, panting for air, but Alfred's protective arm lingered on his waist, instinctively keeping Arthur close.

"What? Alfred, what's wrong-" Arthur mumbled, embarrassed by the intimate contact, but Alfred shook his head, his expression panicked, and pulled him so that they were directly underneath the bannister, carefully hidden behind the steps.

"T-there's someone," he said in a low, shaking tone. "If it turns out to be one of my advisors, h-he won't like seeing us like this. I won't let you get h-hurt again."

With a pang, Arthur remembered that night and the scars on Alfred's back, the ones that the advisors had given him for standing up to them. He knew it wasn't done just for him, but for the Elite, but it was done with him in mind, after all. In an act of trying to reassure him, he laid his hands against his chest as frightened blue met reassuring green.

"I won't let you get hurt either. Not for everything that we've been through…together."

A loud sound echoed, horribly close, and Arthur whirled around, eyes darting around. However, it was only the Drawing Room doors…it seemed like they had missed the person in the haze of their emotions.

"Alfred," Arthur said, gently pulling the other boy out of the cranny. "It's fine, there's no one left. I'm here, I promise-"

An earsplitting scream came from inside the Drawing Room not a moment later, and suddenly the two of them were running, flinging open the doors and facing a terrified group of four people.

oagebreak

Marianne, one hand carefully covering her mouth, a tinge of surprise in her glacier – blue eyes. Alfonso had slumped onto an armchair, a look of horror on his face, but Emma had completely bowled over on her knees, hands covering her face as the advisor held his hands over his back almost in apology.

"What have you done to her?!" Alfred growled, his hand carefully blocking Arthur's way. He couldn't let him hurt anyone else, especially not him.

"Emma, what's happened?" Arthur shouted, coming to stand beside Alfred. "Was it you that-"

"He's _gone_ , Alfred! They…they…killed him!" Emma screamed, tears pouring down her face. "He did _nothing_ wrong…he was so young, he…!" she gulped before continuing to cry in earnest.

"Your-Your Highness!" blurted the advisor, intimidated by Alfred's sudden fury. He hadn't been able to act like this since the beating, but damn well he needed to protect one of his Elite. "I didn't do anything to her, I swear on the Fates!"

"What in Fates' name happened, then? I order you to tell me now!"

"They…the rebels…they took, they took her little brother!"

"…?" _Louis,_ Arthur thought in dismay. The little boy standing next to Dylan on the night of the Halloween party. Emma's brother. What had they done to him?

"They took them from Lady Emma's home last night – they murdered him in cold blood. The family were very distressed, Your Highness, very…"

Alfred paid him no attention as he knelt down to support Emma, who almost immediately latched onto his shoulder and began sobbing onto his shirt. Arthur shifted onto the armchair next to Alfonso, which they both shared dismayed glances.

"Are they still in Spadian territory?" Alfonso blurted, his gaze still firmly fixed on Emma.

"They were carving out around the Spades – Diamonds border when we found the body. They were threatening that they would disrupt something if we didn't leave them alone, just before they crossed over into the woods where our troops couldn't reach…"

"What was it?" Alfred said coldly, although you could hear the tremor in his voice.

"That they would disrupt the Trials and take the strongest one alive."

* * *

The room erupted with voices as soon as the advisor spoke.

 _He means me_ , Arthur faintly registered the thought in his mind. _Alfred knows that. Fates, he's going to be too shaken over this-_

"…take the Elite to their rooms, please. I'll visit them each shortly after I talk with the Jack and Ace," Alfred said quietly, his face falling.

"They've already been notified, Your Highness. I'll go find them now," the advisor said, hurriedly running off, clearly not going to find the people to send the Elite back into their rooms.

The prince looked defeated for a moment, before turning to face the other three except Emma.

"Can you please go back to your rooms, where it's safe? I'll ask your maids to bring you dinner tonight there. Ple…please ask them if there's anything you need." He took Emma's hand, and with that the two of them left together, Marianne flouncing out behind him.

"Art…can you come with me? I don't like this atmosphere," Alfonso grated out after a moment.

Arthur nodded, following his best friend as they closed the door and went out into the cold night.

* * *

"He's changed a lot over these two weeks," Alfonso said, watching Arthur pace around the bedroom floor agitatedly.

"He seems a little more subdued than, well…how was your date? You know." Arthur asked quietly.

"Huh? Wha…oh, I'd rather not say," Alfonso said uncomfortably, rubbing at his mole. "I know you didn't get a chance to spend time with Al and his horse, so…"

"No, it's not an issue," Arthur smiled, but was a little upset internally. It wasn't losing time with the horse that he was disappointed in himself with; it was losing time with Alfred that was his main frustration. "I was just curious about what you and Emma were so excited about."

"Ah…she can be really boisterous about this, right?" Alfonso cracked a grin, patting his friend's back. "Sometimes I think she's going to claw him out of anyone else's reach!"

"Yes, well…I guess she's just a girl in love. People will do anything…?"

"Yeah. But not for themselves, for the person they love." Alfonso's voice took on a glassy, faraway tone, and in that moment Arthur could see everything that could go wrong.

Alfred's voice, proclaiming his affection for another, the touch on his shoulder as he asked him to leave, the harsh reality of someone else standing next to him…

It was overwhelming. And it hurt.

Badly.

"Hey, Art! You okay?" Alfonso asked, jolting Arthur back to present day. Not some future that he didn't ever want to see.

"Oh. Yes, yes, I'm fine," he hastily amended, patting his friend's shoulder.

"Uh, so…I was thinking of getting back to my room anyway. Just in case the prince comes to check on me," Alfonso laughed. "But you'll be all right?"

"You do have a point," Arthur smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow, Alfonso. See you."

"See ya, Arthur!"

He was left alone to deal with the conflicted emotions of the day as Alfonso carefully closed the door and the room was silent once more.

* * *

.

REPLIES ARE COMING I SWEAR I JUST HAVE TO FINI

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	63. To Deplore

disclaimer for bad author

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

"You may leave if you want to, my dear," Alfred said, touching her knee gently as to not startle her. Having broken the news to Matthew and Yao already, he wasn't sure he could stand so much heartbreak. "There's nothing holding you back from that. Not even me."

"Bu…but you are," Emma sniffled, rubbing her pink nose with her handkerchief. "I really do care for you, Alfred! And…and even though, _sniff_ , my brother is gone and I should be with Tim and the rest of my family, I can't leave you now. There's…there's a lot of things I don't want to remember there."

She shut her green eyes and let her head loll onto Alfred's shoulder, reveling in his warmth before letting out another sob.

* * *

 _"_ _Father? What kind of magic is that? Not even Mother can do that!" Emma giggled, running her hands through her short, wavy brown hair._

 _"_ _E-Em? Oh, my sweetness, you shouldn't be here. It's secret work," Emma's father said, tilting his gaze fondly to his only daughter. She noticed his arm slackened immediately, crumpling to his side before he greeted her._

 _"_ _Does Tim know?" she asked, crawling onto her father's knee. Even though he was preoccupied with work as her mother had suddenly swollen up and seemed to be carrying a basketball on her belly, she loved spending time with her parents, even if they weren't her big brother._

 _"_ _No, sweet, not even your brother knows yet," her father laughed. "Your mama does, even though Fates knows what she's doing with the rebels. That sort of manipulation could hurt your little brother, you know. Bless her, those meetings aren't good for her health."_

"Meetings?"

* * *

"He was only nine when…when…Alfred, _why_ did they have to choose him?"

"These rebels will do anything to get at us. They don't like that they've been constrained – but, Em, I don't know, I just…"

But she did know. She remembered it as vividly as it had happened yesterday; how her whole family watched Louis be sentenced to death just for existing.

* * *

 _One Month Before the Deciding_

 _"_ _All right, settle down, all of you! Jan, what's the issue today?"_

 _Emma fidgeted in her seat, her short brown hair barely scratching the surface of the dark seat. Tim exchanged looks with her, continuing to stare harshly at her father. Her mother, her blonde hair pulled into a ponytail unlike her usual bun, was sitting next to Louis, their little brother. Her father, however, had asked an audience with the leader of the Joker Rebels._

 _By the Fates, from what her father had told her, she was one of the most powerful people in Cards. He had said that she was even stronger than of the Clubs royalty, which were – well, royalty! Even though they were said to be the weakest in magic._

 _But it wasn't the usual type of strength, her mother had added. It was something beyond the time manipulation of Spades and Diamonds' life altering powers. They called it the signature power of the First Joker…_

 _…_ _bending reality itself._

 _"_ _You just said your daughter and eldest son couldn't do anything as children," the leader said, pulling on her jet-black robes tighter. "What I advise, Jan, take your wife and your kids home and keep this war effort against us."_

 _"_ _Louis is different – he was conceived right when the renewal of the First Law. The thing we've been fighting for all along. The ability should be stronger with him than the rest of my family."_

"What about the other two, then?" the leader sighed, giving Emma and Tim a once over. Her brother folded his arms and simply stared down at her. Emma didn't say anything, merely looking back at her. All this sitting around, and for what? Her mother should be going home and filling in those Deciding forms that had come in the mail the other night (even though they cost a fortune, but she would be happy to give up a year of schooling anyway!) Ah, Prince Alfred of Spades…

 _"_ _She's a little dreamier than I would expect coming as your daughter, Milla," the leader snorted, her bangles falling down her face as she leaned forward. "She does look like you when you first joined, hmm?"_

"She's no fighter in the traditional way, that's for sure," her mother said. Emma flinched at those words, was she that useless? Didn't her mother herself say that her children were to play no part in the rebels' fight?

 _"_ _Mom, you can't say_ _ **that**_ _! You said yourself we couldn't-" she began to retort, but her mother simply nodded her head and continued to speak._

 _"_ _You see, since there are three Decidings going on this year, we've heard about your little plan to infiltrate them."_

 _"_ _It's one of the more peaceful ways to achieve the repeal of the First Law. I'm not too certain about our odds, though. Those smarms in the Holding Facilities will take all the places."_

"My daughter would be interested in a form," her mother said silkily, turning around to give her daughter a demure gaze. "Especially with her interest in the Spadian kingdom, I think it would be better to give her a hand in the cause instead of sitting at school and being…thoroughly brainwashed by people who are taught to believe that the First Law is necessary."

"Mom!" Emma gaped, her brown hair flying out behind her. "There's no cha-"

 _"_ _Well, if you see fit, Milla, you have a point. I'll contact the smugglers tomorrow."_

"Very well. But Louis," she continued.

 _The leader cut her off with a swish of her hand._

 _"_ _But in the meantime, let's see how dangerous your son is. The main attraction, no?"_

* * *

"I can't just _leave_ you, Alfred," she sobbed. With a rush of exhilaration, she felt his touch envelop hers. The fur of the gloves felt a little more comforting than the harsh winter air. "You're so close, and it's just such an amazing experience being with you. The two of us would be perfect together - I know that I can't give you up like _this,_ can't I?"

She knew somewhere, somehow, in her heart, that it wasn't freak luck. She had been chosen, somehow, by hundreds of thousands all over the country just to come here. Yes, there were other people, but what did they matter? Even if Alfonso and Arthur were also interested in Alfred, they couldn't possibly be feeling the same way about him than she did.

* * *

"Hello, Erin…is Dylan available? Or is it time for bed? I'm not quite sure, since we're so close to the border…" Arthur said, trailing off as he noticed the exhausted Jack close the door with a bang. It was unusual for the Jack to behave so wearily since he was always so proper and regal, but he understood that everyone had their bad days, royal or not.

"We only have around an hour time difference from here, so he's just gotten out of the tub," Erin's reply was muted compared to usual squealing and boy talk – although she sounded a lot clearer. Maybe it was because of the new phone they had gotten that Christian had mentioned in his post? "Is the girl with the little brother…"

"She's…well…she's taking it hard. Um, let's just say that's why I want to speak to him tonight?"

"It could have been him, right?" his sister said all of a sudden. "If the rebels are targeting anyone – Fates, Artie, be safe there."

"I doubt that the palace combined would let me get hurt," Arthur said quietly. _And, well, Alfred…_

"Never mind. Ah, he's here – _no_ , silly tyke, Cormac put that towel around you for a reason! Cormac!" he heard Erin bellow. "Finish your job and look after your brother!"

"Wee tyke won't sit still!" he heard Cormac's voice come over the receiver as well, and heard a distant _Arthur?_ before it faded away. There was a mess of static, and then the sound of the loudspeaker being turned on in the Kirkland house echoed around the room.

"Artie! It's been too long since you phoned!" he laughed, and Arthur felt himself relax and let out a relieved smile. Even though all this trauma and confusion, his little brother had stayed exactly the same.

"Dylan! How's it been? Have you been behaving good at home and school?" _Fates, Arthur, you sound old. As in bloody ancient._

"Hey, don't ask me about _boring_ school," he could practically hear Dylan's pout over the phone. "Tell me how you and the prince have been doing!"

"Oh, dear, have you been talking with Erin recently?" Arthur sighed, sputtering to his sister's offended cry. "Well, we're doing as fine as we could." He blushed a little, remembering the heated kiss and Alfred's cosy embrace last night, underneath the banister. "But I'm not worried about you? Are you all safe at home?"

"Well…Allistor was worried about a lot of stuff on the telly," Dylan said. "But there's nothing weird. There's some more guys with jackets near the fence place, but that's it."

 _Guards?_ Arthur thought, but quickly remembered what the advisor from earlier on had said with a release of his tightened chest. The rebels were advancing alongside the borders that Spades shared with Diamonds. His family lived in the Spades – Hearts borders, but reinforcements weren't the best news he'd have liked to hear.

"They're just practicing things, I guess. You'll be all right. Um, I've got to go now," Arthur mumbled, noticing that the Jack had re entered the room, his smart hat adjusted and his robes neatly tucked in and looking a lot more relaxed than his flurried state. "Please be safe and listen to what Allistor and Erin says. Don't eat too many almond cookies, all right?"

"Yep, Artie! We miss you – but Erin says don't come home!" his little brother said, sending two very loud kisses through the intercom.

"Don't come home unless you're inviting us to your wedding to Prince Alfred!" Erin laughed. "We miss you, no matter what Christian says!"

"Hey! No, she's lying, we don't, Artiekins. Just…don't do anything reckless. Or wild. With him, of course. Don't forget to use prote-" Christian butted in cheekily.

"That's rich, coming from you!" Cormac grumbled, but Allistor's grumpy voice drowned them all out. Arthur sputtered, his brother hadn't gotten any forward with these few months…

"ALL RIGHT, Christian, you've forgotten that there are young ears here. Fates, thank you, Cormac. Goodnight, Arthur!"

* * *

 _The Next Day_

"Umm…Yao, can I come in?" Matthew said quietly, tiptoeing into the Jack of Spades' study. It was getting rather late, at eleven pm, and he'd rather all the fuss with Alfred calm down before he talked to his mentor. Since he had so much on his plate nowadays, there was barely any time to account for the most hardworking of them.

He couldn't really see his appearance except for his raven black hair falling in a ponytail against his coat, but there was a sunflower pot near his desk. Matthew found it a little odd, but quickly positioned himself behind the door and knocked once, a little timidly.

Yao jumped, brushing two or three pieces of paper aside as he did so He stood up immediately, his pulse picking up speed as he swept the papers to the front again and placed Ivan's sunflower back into the pot. He squarely placed it on his desk, straightened out his outfit for what felt like the nth time as he turned to face Matthew with a large smile on his face, careful to keep his arms slack as to not intimidate his liege.

"Umm, Yao, I would like to-" he began quietly.

Unfortunately, this quiet and peace was timely ruined by someone (namely Crown Prince Alfred Fitzgerald Jones) bursting into the room, his blond hair flying out behind him as he went straight for the hug.

Matthew scowled and looked away, straightening his waistcoat in the meantime. He wished he had Kuma with him right now to hurl at his brother. Or something with the likes of that.

"Oh, Mattie!" he said, patting his brother's shoulder before turning back to Yao. "So, about the Trial plan thing we have-"

"What's the sudden rush, Alfred?" Yao asked warmly, gesturing to Matthew to sit down on his chairs next to his desk. "Of course we may talk about it. It _is_ essential to the process, anyway. Matthew, we'll need your counsel here as well."

Matthew had never felt so helpful for him in that moment, and pulled his chair closer as Yao rummaged in a colour coded folder and took out a few pieces of paper.

"All right, Alfred. These are the three venues we were discussing, right?"

"Uh, I think so…" Alfred said, carefully examining the small stacks of information. His foot was tapping; a sign of blatant impatience, and Matthew wrinkled his nose. While he was off flirting and finding love without restraint, he and Yao had been working tirelessly to make ends meet for this Deciding. Even though it was an effort to find the queen for the kingdom, surely he could have shown a little more respect?

"Al!" he hissed, nudging him in the ribs. "Could you at least _thank_ Yao, if not me? He's been working very hard-"

"I'm…I'm sorry, but I really want to finish this before anyone else gets hurt. But this really means a lot to me, so thank you!"

"Well, then, Matthew's going to have to be your manners coach after you ascend the throne doubly," Yao chuckled, reorganizing the papers before facing them again. "All right. Are you fine with the two phases?"

Alfred nodded steadily, scanning the sheet as he moved along. Matthew folded his arms, but leant over to peer over his shoulder anyway. It wasn't like he would have to ever do this, right?

There were traditionally two parts to Trials – one where the Chosen would perform various feats of magic that were special to the Kingdoms (growth and appearance for Diamonds, life for Hearts, fortune and mental power for Clubs, time manipulation and physical strength), and the other one where the royal would step in to assist them. And, of course, there were the cameras.

"I think if we had to change even the slightest thing about the Deciding process now, the advisors would throw a fit," Alfred laughed, but his tone was a little nervous and Matthew quickly thought about the new lashes on his back, still barely faded. Yao didn't know, of course, but…

"All right, then. Matthew and I will inform you more in detail about the venues individually later, but shall we discuss about the timeframe?"

"To be fair, I was thinking of about a month," Matthew said, arms still folded as he nodded, meeting Yao's gaze with a determined flair. "But since you're in such a rush."

"You're right," Alfred said quietly, twiddling his thumbs in thought. "So…will a week, _two_ weeks be all right? Just before New Years' so the three of us won't have to do any work."

"What about Yao? He's handling the rebels hovering near our borders, not to mention the queen's work and some. I'm all right with my workload, but his stress levels aren't going to take this too well if you rush it."

"Matthew, I appreciate your concern-" the Jack began, sounding a little taken aback, but Alfred leant in and quietly beckoned his brother as well.

"Yao, I honestly don't mind waiting a little longer if it means you and Matthew have a little less stress. I'll be okay with putting it off-"

"Alfred, Matthew," Yao said, smiling. "I want to see the new queen as much as you do. I don't mind taking on a couple of extra responsibilities if it makes you boys happy. You two know better than anyone else how much of a workaholic I am." He stuttered a little on the last sentence, but seemed genuinely cheerful.

"I'm taking on more jobs as well! As the Ace I should be helping you more with the rebels…even if I'm only halfway through that trade alliance agreement we were discussing with Diamonds over Port." Matthew insisted.

"I'll help too! I'll be the hero and help out as much as I can without stopping the Deciding!" Alfred declared. Both Matthew and Yao waited for him to do the same pose he had even when he was little – his index finger thrust into the air, but it didn't come.

"Yao, can I take these papers up to my room? I'll be ready in the morning after breakfast. Thank you so much! Goodnight, Mattie – unless you're coming?"

"Umm, yes, I suppose I am. See you in the morning, Yao," Matthew said quietly as Alfred jogged out of the door into the hallway.

"Wait, Matthew," the Jack said, tapping gently on the table with his pen nib to get his attention before he turned around. "Is it just me, or is Alfred finally…maturing, I suppose? Or is he just subdued from the recent tragedy – well, events?"

 _Matthew, if you ever were to tell Yao about Al's scars, this would be a very, very good time,_ he told himself internally, but brushed the thought away. They all had too much on their plates as of right now. But Yao had a point – his stupid, immature older brother had started to change for the good – just a little.

"I think he's maturing a little, although I never thought I'd see the day," Matthew smiled, and Yao chuckled, patting his charge's arm.

"Great, then. Get some rest, and I'll see you in the morning."

"Don't go to sleep over your papers, Yao! Goodnight," Matthew said, and closed the door with a smile on his face.

With everyone in such a cooperative mood, perhaps it would be a good time to ask Katya and secretly write Gilbert again?

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	64. Marianne

i literally slacked on this for two fucking weeks before pulling this out of my arse by shutting off my internet and writing like a fiend for two days

so yes. this is not prewritten. yehay. but i really struggled with this one since it's a lot more mature than the stuff i'm used to.

also where is everyone im

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for _mature themes_ , but nothing passing the M rating, etc**

* * *

Alfred nervously loosened his jacket, draping it on his right arm before checking his watch again before knocking yet _again_ on Marianne's door.

Of course, this wouldn't have been his favourite thing to do on such a nice, clear evening when he could go stargazing (especially with – well.), but since Marianne had asked so sweetly and he felt so bad for not giving her much of a chance. Even with the competition so close, he still felt like he had to, not just because of her prowess with languages and important family…

"Lady Marianne?" he asked, clearing his throat. "Are you okay in there?"

"Oh, Your Highness, I'm very sorry for being a little late! I just want to make sure that everything's perfect," she simpered, and Alfred adjusted his tie again, swallowing.

"Thank you-" he began, but was interrupted by her entrance – her maid standing to the side, bowing and closing the door. Marianne paid her no interest as her heels clacked on the marble floor with a strut that made Alfred's jaw drop…amidst other things.

All that effort in waiting definitely had refined her even more tonight – her makeup, amongst other things, was flawless, her fringe carefully pinned away. Not even a single hair was out of place, and her perfume practically surrounded the air between them. Her eyes stood out underneath all that even so – maybe that was the point?

But that wasn't the thing that made him feel so intimidated and completely out of his depth, as her _dress_ …

It wasn't anything he'd ever seen like it. Yes, Emma had previously worn things that had made him blush and look away for a few minutes, but this was on a completely new level. Even if he could look past the seductive red of the silk, how it clung onto her and elbowed its way to the forefront of his mind with those sheer gloves of hers…

"Where do you want to go tonight?" she asked, looking up at Alfred behind her lashes as she took his hand and laced it in with hers. He swallowed tightly, and squeezed her hand once.

"Uh," he stuttered. He wasn't quite sure what she was trying to do, but… "You want to go walk around or…?"

"I don't mind, as long as it's with you," she said, both her gloved arms moving to latch onto his as she smiled flirtatiously at him. "By the way, I absolutely adore the colour of your tie tonight," she cooed before they proceeded down the hallway.

He couldn't lie, that compliment alone felt good. It had taken a good portion of his evening to choose it, darn it all!

* * *

"Oh, I can _see_ that," Marianne giggled, tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. "You've definitely spent a lot of time working out, hmm?"

"Heh, I mean – being the only prince in the castle, I guess that means I have a bit more freedom." Alfred grinned, pausing to turn around a corner, but being a little surprised when she tugged him somewhere else, following the tiny winded path around the outsides of the gardens until coming to the large, intricately carved ivory that made up the main fountain, the twilight casting a violet shadow against the structure and the waters churning along like his stomach.

"Sit down," she sang, patting down the spot next to her and fanning out her skirt as if that was how she usually sat. By the Fates…

…he usually chose not to read the atmosphere and keep on going with whatever he did, but if she was trying to do what he _thought_ she was, well…

"Uh," he said, pausing, and she tilted her head onto his shoulder, her eyes lidded beneath her lashes.

All this, all the compliments that she showered on him, her virtually flawless appearance, the hooded, provocative looks that she kept on gazing at him with, especially tonight. It made him feel uncomfortable, like it was all so _wrong_

Yes, the Deciding virtually allowed him to do whatever he wanted to to find love, but this definitely wasn't it.

Which is why, with a pang of guilt, he sprung away from her, brushing off his suit hurriedly.

But Marianne still didn't let go, her arm lingering on his chest before tilting her fingers around his chin, cooing gently as she moved her mouth against his ear, kissing it lightly before moving lower. Alfred swallowed, trying his best to keep her at arm's length as the sweeping end of her gown swished around his ankles, but he was as rigid as ice.

This wasn't supposed to happen. What - he never thought –

" _Oh_ , what's wrong?" she said, her tone sultry as she brushed her nose against his cheekbone, lacing her fingers in his tie. "Don't look away just yet."

Alfred nervously looked away, and her ice coated eyes followed his gaze before staring back at him, her uniform eyebrows scrunched before she leaned closer.

"I…I…uh, I should be going, I," he stammered, but she shushed him, her dark red nails fixed tightly against his lips.

"But this is just the beginning," she said tartily, her luscious lips curling into a smile, seeming to the prince like a cat sitting on top of a pedestal. "There's so much in store for us tonight."

"Wh – what? What do you mean?" he said uncertainly, a faint dust of red that was probably from her seductive words rather than the cold. That wasn't what she was thinking about, right?

"Of course," she said, pouting a little and resting back on her heels with a _clack_. "Nowhere else but in my room."

Alfred's throat and mouth turned dry.

"Duchess, what are you – no, I mean, of course not," he said, shaking his head rapidly. "You're…you're a very pretty girl, yes, but not like that! I wouldn't ever think of doing that to you!"

"But you _want_ to!" Marianne cried, flattening out her dress. "You didn't seem uncomfortable with what we were talking about! Not even about the compliments I gave you!"

"That's not what I'm looking for in a person, _please_ ," Alfred said, desperate to not mess up this conversation, mess up her feelings even though he doubted she had any in the first place, and get her to _please back the fuck off, I don't want this!_ "I wasn't being appropriate with you tonight, and I apologize-"

"Then what _are_ you looking for?" she spat, her eyes now filling with a venom that he couldn't do anything about. "Aren't you just looking for a pretty little thing to warm your bedside?"

"No! No, I'm-"

"I'm…argh! This is why _no one left in the competition is still in this for your heart_!" she snarled; braid stridently following behind her flaming, contorted expression. "Emma's a little skank, pretending to love you so she can get that mess of gold on her head! She's as desperate as I am, if not more, and twice as clingy, begging for your attention! Alfonso's not any better, keeping up that stupid smile while he fades more and more into the ranks of royalty like the commoner family he was born to, and Arthur-"

Alfred's blood seemed to burn in his veins at that moment. The words she was using, the name seeming to burst out of her mouth in that heartbeat, tore.

Something else, something that was roaring in his ears and was twisting his heart like an old, torn patchwork being wrung again and again, broke inside of him.

He snapped.

"Don't you _dare_ lay a single word against the rest of the Elite!" he shouted, blue eyes flashing like minuscule bolts of lightning. "You…you thought you could _seduce_ me to the crown, throw down lies after lies against the others to bring me to send them away for no reason? It doesn't work like that!" she screamed, panting.

"Then, if you didn't want all that, then why did you go along with it? And after all that just happened! It looked like _you_ were going to be the one to take me to my room!"

"I thought I was just trying to make up for my mistakes by not spending a lot of time with you by coming out here tonight," Alfred said coldly, his words sharpened like a cracking glacier. "But all you've done tonight is something that I can't deal with."

Marianne held her stead, but her stance faltered, curling into a frown as it seemed that the fight had gone out of Alfred.

It hurt. The words seemed to have formed into dozens of small knives, stabbing themselves and lodging themselves in his heart. Alfred just turned around, closing his eyes and cleaning his glasses to try to occupy his freezing hands before turning back to Marianne.

"You are eliminated from now. Please pack your things and leave," he said flatly, before walking back to the palace without looking back.

* * *

It was a little over ten in the morning the next day, after an unusually lonely breakfast, before Arthur heard the voices of busy chatter in the Drawing Room, even though it sounded like two voices instead of the occasional three. He'd taken breakfast by himself since Anna had been on shift since seven o'clock unlike how they usually woke up together, and so had asked her to run the extra errand on her way down to the sewing room for her daily tasks.

Not to his surprise, it was Emma that he had identified, her freshly cut brown locks bobbing on her shoulders as she leaned forwards, her legs crossed tightly as Alfonso nodded something in confirmation. They both jumped up to greet him as soon as they saw him, clustering around the confused boy.

"Do you know what happened with her? Did Alfred tell you anything? Did you see anything last night?" Emma spoke in such a flurry, so different from her usual speech, that Alfonso stepped in with a shaky nod.

Something had definitely affected her in the week that had happened, and he was willing to guess that it was Louis' murder more than anything.

"Arthur…have you heard the news?" he blurted, looking at his friend's eyes. "About Marianne."

"Um, what about her-"

She had been sent home, he quickly found out as Emma stood up to close the Drawing Room doors.

"What? All of a sudden, as well?" Arthur gaped, but Emma who had returned, shook her head so fiercely that her green hair tie wobbled.

"My maid said she caught the two of them last night, and Marianne was trash talking the three of us," she said tightly. "Alfred got angry, naturally, and then sent her home. That's what she overheard, at least."

"Serves her right," Alfonso said, with a show of uncharacteristic bitterness.

Arthur's surprised gaze met him, and Alfonso pressed his mouth in a thin line defensively, folding his arms into his chest.

"Well, she doesn't have any right to say things about us when it's very obvious she's the one snooping around, doing things – I wish I could have told you last week, but what happened to her could have happened to me last night. If you'd understand, I…"

"I think we all want to stay in this competition as much as you do," Arthur said quietly, patting his shoulder and gesturing him to sit down next to him in the velvet chair. "Go on."

"There shouldn't be any secrets between us, since we're the last three," Emma confirmed. "No tattling on either of us to get the other out of the competition."

Alfonso rubbed at his mole again, a habit he had developed when he was nervous, and began slowly.

"She…was planning on physically seducing him. You know. Stuff I don't want to say out loud."

" _What_?" Emma hissed, even though she still had curled into herself. "Why in the name of the Fates did she think that would work against him?"

"Maybe she thought she didn't have any other way, and the only way to win his heart was using herself," Arthur said flatly. "He's got layers and depth – sometimes, I feel like he's untouchable."

"Alfred's not _untouchable_ ," Alfonso said. "At least, not for me – us. He's just a great guy, which, you know, personally ticks all the boxes.'

"But that wasn't like that for her. She didn't get to spend a lot of time with her, and after Sakura left, it was kind of obvious that he only kept her out of pity. But why do you think he's untouchable?"

"The prince thing, for starters."

"Okay, the prince thing's reasonable," Alfonso said. "But other than that I don't really, uh, understand why she decided to do it anyway. Maybe that's why we're not leaping to her defense, I guess. But this is a competition at its core, and that's how Marianne chose to do it."

"She probably put him on a pedestal, like I used to just a little bit. But that still doesn't excuse her behaviour, treating him as if he's that stupid minded," Emma said. As the two boys turned to face her, she nodded gingerly. "The Deciding's a competition that's something like I've never seen before. Even the Hearts version is different – it doesn't require the competitors to do this weird sort of dating. Maybe that's why you understand her more than either of us?"

"Hey, Arthur isn't anything like Marianne," Alfonso said quickly, noticing his friend's shoulders tense up. "They're different. We don't know what Marianne really did or what she thought of Al. But do you really see him like that?"

"I used to, all the time." _I still do, sometimes._ "But now it's a lot less. And I don't plan to do anything like that with him, Emma. I just, well, think he should decide. Without all that."

"Okay," Emma said slowly, looking at him for another moment before her gaze relaxed and she sat back on her chair. "No, I'm sorry about that, Art. But I really can't stand her."

"She's gone, now. We can't let what happened to her divide us," Alfonso said. For a moment there, Arthur was relieved that he was his friend. All they needed was something else dividing them.

After an awkward half hour of just sitting around, with Arthur reading but fiddling with the pages idly; Alfonso peering at the television and Emma staring at the outside view from the largest windowsill, the trio not interacting after their lengthy conversation, Emma stood up, straightening her dress and tapping on the floor, one foot at a time as she stretched.

"I'm going to see Alfie," she announced, and strode out of the room.

Arthur waited until she was out of the room, and then leaned back to face Alfonso who also placed down the remote and turned in his general direction.

"Um. You would think that she would be a bit more affected from Louis," he said quietly. "I think it's still in the news."

"It is, which is why I muted the TV. But she…if anything happened to Antonio, I'd be leaving this competition in a flash. That night, I sent a letter to him as soon as I could, even though I think he mentioned something about a military job. Guess that this Deciding runs a lot deeper than that with her, for some reason," Alfonso whispered back.

"I called Dylan the night it happened," Arthur agreed. "Either she's very strong or something else is happening with her and him."

"Some high pedestal, indeed."

 _But I promised to trust Alfred full heartedly. I shouldn't be doubting him or her – but if anything happened to Dylan or anyone in my family, for that matter, I wouldn't be able to handle it at all._

* * *

"I don't want to talk about it."

Night had now fallen on the Kingdom of Spades, and straight after Yao had finished up on the lesson with the Elites – well, one less than the day before – he had come to see Alfred, who had cooped himself up in his study for the whole day after what had happened the night before. He was slightly relieved that his mentor had left Matthew to his own devices today, this kind of talk he didn't want his twin to hear about.

"Was it that bad? Did she physically try to…well," Yao said awkwardly, but his expression was stern. "I believe you, Alfred. If…if she even dared to touch you like _that_ -"

" _No!_ " Alfred cried, mortified. "She didn't take me that far. I wouldn't let her. She said something about wanting to take me to her room, but it stopped before she could try to do anything to me like that."

"Very well." Yao said, slumping on the chair opposite Alfred's desk. "That was the worst of my worries gone. I know that this may sound harsh, but that's essentially rape. And, Fates forbid, that grant a child…"

"I'm sorry. I should have conducted myself better," he said flatly, his hands scrunching into fists as they crumpled in his lap. "I don't want to even imagine what could have happened to me."

"Neither did I. Thank Duchess we got to see her true nature before we let her get any closer to the end. But," he continued, setting a steady hand on the mahogany desk. "Do not blame yourself. It was not your fault that she tried to pursue you like that. It's happened, plenty of times."

"Plenty of times…?"

"The only reason that we can't screen out candidates like these is that they get desperate near the end and seem to do anything to try to obtain the title of royal." Yao sighed. "I wish that there was something we could do to protect you from any kind of that persuasion."

"Has…" Alfred swallowed haltingly before pushing on. "Has any Deciding ended with a pregnancy?"

"Yes." Yao said, with a serious expression. "One of the first Decidings ended with the pregnancy of a female King. Since the Virus had only began to release its hold on humanity, she and her female candidates were extremely fertile, and that's why it only took a misplaced night for it to end prematurely."

"Which means what? Why did the Virus make them so easy to have children?" Alfred asked, confused. "I don't think Dad or Mom ever got the chance to tell us what really happened."

* * *

"Well, the Virus only affected those with a specific gene, or chromosome, after the sickness mutated," Yao said. As a child scholar, he had been taught extensively about the start of modern day Cards practically more than any other subject in history. "It targeted the chromosome set that determined if a person was a female. Males would only contract moderate illnesses, but after a set period of time, the Virus grew to render almost every single female victim infertile."

"Infertile…does that mean they couldn't have any babies? Didn't you once tell me this had something to do with the awakening of the Fates?" Alfred questioned. Suddenly, old tidbits that seemed to make no sense during his private tutor sessions with Yao seemed to fall in line together, like stacking up pieces of paperwork ever so neatly.

"Yes, that's what happened then." came the confirmation. "The illness eventually got so bad that they managed to cause the full order of Fates to be reborn as a mass war broke out. They each managed to take a different human form in the small space of three months as soon as they reawakened. The world was so unstable by that point that their rebirth retriggered the presence of magic in the world."

"It's because they came back that we have magic, right? Didn't they, uh, come back a few times before but they realized they weren't needed?" _Just like me._

"Right, that's how the idea of witches formed…but the spirit of the Hearts took a terminally ill child's form, the Clubs chose a woman deemed infertile by the sickness, the Spades chose a dying mage in training, and the Diamonds chose a demented king descending into insanity. That's why they are what they are today." Yao sighed, pausing for a moment to press his hand to the silver bell sitting on Alfred's desk, used to call his maid. He went outside, and Alfred could hear the little _zing_ of magic before the loud ringing of the bell amplified. Coming back inside though, he cited something about tea for his throat before sitting back down.

"Uh, we can do this later," Alfred said worriedly. "If it's chafing your throat-"

"No, it's more of a warning than a story. But that magic still resonates with us today – the Hearts Fate gives out that blessing with a lot of things she does. Since the young girl wasn't the best vessel for the Fate, it's a little harder to control but gives the magic more potential. But if you've asked for a blessing from the Fate like Matthew contacted me about, then you should be careful. Chances are, your fertility was affected as well. So, you have to be careful – not just around her last night, but from _everyone_. Er, until your wedding night, that is."

Just then, a knock came from the door, obviously with Yao's mug of tea. Alfred tensed, ready to get it, but the Jack shook his head.

"I'm sorry you had to go with that. Do you want to move onto the Trials? They're coming rather soon."

"Yes, I'd like that a lot," Alfred said, feeling a lot relieved.

There had been enough shock for the rest of the year.

* * *

 _replies_

 _alfredo'sfan_ \- gosh is literally the most passive aggressive word i've seen other than :), and it's not a word

 _pastaaddict_ \- noope. and arthur sort of has an agenda lmao

 _russia says hello_ \- i hope i executed it well. it was kind of a backthought that i kept putting on and off...but it was implied in the flashbacks, but i wanted you readers to find out at the same time emma did, since she doesn't know exactly why.

 _gatita-yaoi_ \- omg welcome lmao. some usuk coming up soon, i promise - been writing up a scene i've been planning for a bit ;) but being both a and b type tsunderes, i don't think not being stubborn sometimes aren't in their vocabulary

 _hearthorse11_ \- i have mocks so no traveling for a bit :V i'll try my best to keep up i promise!

 _overworldly_ \- it feels like i keep putting off the trials lmao. we're finally getting there!

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	65. Eros

hello all you lovely people. i cried two times writing this chapter - the alternate title for this chapter is regret

PSA: can someone calculate real quick how many times i used the word 'gentle/gently' or 'soft/ly'? if you do i'll probably do a drinking game with that

ALSO - YES I HAD TO USE THIS CHAPTER'S NAME, DO NOT JUDGE ME (pls)

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for more smooching (i mean it), but no smutty smut you horndogs**

* * *

"So, then, we'll be having an early breakfast then going to the venue – we'll have to wrap up warmly, but food and stuff will be there after we have a lunch break. Is that all right with everybody?"

"Will there be cameras tomorrow?" Emma questioned, pulling a little tighter on her mint green shawl.

"Yes, since we can't do it in public due to the security threat," Yao said. "But we have briefed your maids on what sort of attire you'll be wearing tomorrow, so please do keep an eye out today."

"Um, Jack Yao, is there going to be a lesson today?" Alfonso asked, his fingers fiddling with the spoon on his soup. "I know it's a little late to be asking at lunch, but I was hoping for a little more drilling."

"It'll have to be at six since I have to configure some paperwork," came the answer. "I hope to see you preparing regardless of whether you're coming."

* * *

At least, that was what Arthur had been trying to do for the whole day.

He'd been reading page after page of books in the library, but as the six PM lesson time drew closer and closer, his flicking turned more frantic. His fingers skimmed page after page until he slammed the book shut with a cry.

How did the others manage? The threatening message from the other day still rang in his ears. _Don't perform so well that you're a threat, don't underperform so that you're not shunned, don't lose control, don't let Alfred down at any cost-_

Arthur looked around desperately, leaving the book on the coffee table. He would come back later to reshelf it, but for now he needed to collect his thoughts.

 _I have to find Alfred,_ the fleeting, desperate thought burst in his mind, stopping his frantic pacing and leading his feet to shuffle uncertainly towards the direction of the door.

 _I…I need him to be here right now._

* * *

"Um, I'm here to see his Highness," Arthur said awkwardly, and Alfred's maid nodded once and disappeared into the prince's bedroom, blue and white uniform and all.

Wringing his hands in and out, he paced for a moment before the door flew open again and Alfred, a (hot) mess, burst out, taking the time to turn back and thank his maid before coming up to greet him.

"Arthur," he said breathlessly, pushing back a stray strand of golden hair. "What's shaking?"

"My voice. Um, well, I'm sorry to have bothered you now, when you're planning the Trials for all our sakes, but-" Arthur began hesitantly, but no sooner than that Alfred had grasped his hands and was looking deeply into his eyes.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Alfred asked gently, squeezing his smooth hands.

"…!" A small splash of red appeared against his freckles at the contact. "H-How did you even…?"

"Ya speak all formal and stuff when you're upset but don't want to tell me," Alfred said. "Princess. By now you should know that you'll be okay with me."

"It's…it's not like I have a problem or anything," Arthur stammered, blushing a little more after the stupid pet name, _as if he enjoyed them_.

"But, um, I was a bit scared after the whole rebel thing." he awkwardly gestured like it would help their conversation anyway.

"Oh. Uh, then, since the sun's setting, can you come into my office for a bit, then we'll do something together?"

"But I thought you were busy. I don't want to waste your time-"

Alfred laughed, entwining their fingers before opening the door.

"Arthur – trust me when I say you're _never_ a waste of my time."

* * *

"Wait up here!" Alfred said, pulling out his desk chair with a hurried _slam_ while Arthur slowly sat down and inspected the room.

It was similar to the princess' suite, from what he remembered, but with smaller windows and it was a little larger. The study was a whole room in itself, with a rather large painting of the late King and Queen from what little Arthur could see from the adjourned door.

Alfred had pulled out a small, metallic device that had no other colour save from an embossed spade at the back as he could see. To his fascination, Alfred tapped at the device, and a metallic, slightly scratchy, vaguely female voice emanated from it.

" _Good evening, Your Highness_ ," it said, " _What would you like to see tonight? The news of the eighteenth of December, the weather or the communications section?_ "

"Can you show me the weather?" Alfred said brightly, giving Arthur a wink as he beckoned him to come closer. "Arthur, come see!"

Gingerly, Arthur, who was very confused as to why he would ask a piece of metal what the weather was when he could literally come outside and look, left his seat to come to Alfred's side.

"Look, how cool is this!" Alfred exclaimed, his face lighting up with excitement as he waited for the program to continue nattering on. "You just press on the screen and then stuff shows up! An-an' see? There's this thing where you can make it change voice! It can sound like a guy and then someone from Diamonds with those nosey accents – weird, those guys are-"

He almost didn't notice Arthur reaching up for his face until it happened – he was tugged down to his face level, the other boy's hands running over his cheekbones.

"Shush," Arthur teased, sticking out his tongue. "I want to hear this – er, whatever thing speak, so just rest your tongue for a bit, d…dear."

His cheeks instantly turned a rogue shade of scarlet, and he nodded so vigorously that he looked like a poor soul that had been stuck on a runaway horse. Arthur savoured his sweetness for a moment before lightly kissing his forehead and letting go. Alfred wore a dopey, boyish grin, and held his gaze playfully.

" _Clear skies,_ " the machine said manically, leading the two of them to jump apart, blushing furiously and looking away from each other. " _Forecast for the next three days: tonight, no snow, tomorrow, rain, the day after tomorrow, light snow. Would you like to view the next week or go back to-_ "

"Uh, sorry about that!" Alfred said hurriedly, pressing a button to make the device shut up. Arthur felt a little tinge of frustration, with that (and of course, leaning up on his tiptoes) he could have easily gotten a kiss. But at least he didn't seem as dismayed as Alfred did.

"Y-yeah, uh, we have clear skies tonight! Thank Fates for the weather," he laughed awkwardly, tilting his glasses up and seeming very self-conscious of himself. "Arthur, heh, did you mention something about needing to get something off your mind?"

"The _something_ is the Trials, and you know very well why, you nutter," Arthur said quietly, wrapping his arms around himself. "Unless you have something that's absolutely mind blowing and…well, special, then I'm not sure what other solutions you have."

"Don't worry. I'm not going to let you down – what I have in mind, though, is going to be so awesome that it's practically _out of this world_!" Alfred cheered, bringing Arthur's face so close that their noses were touching, and ran his thumbs over Arthur's cheeks, almost in retaliation for the earlier taunt. "And, well…I'm sure I told you this before, but it's something to do with space."

He took the few seconds that Arthur was madly blushing (again) and pulled away, opening the door.

Then he ran.

"You blooming idiot, did you just make a _SPACE PUN?_ "

* * *

"Where _exactly_ are you taking me tonight? You said the astronomy tower, but this doesn't seem like it," Arthur said, his tone hushed, holding onto Alfred's arm. "Don't walk so fast, silly!"

"Don't call me silly, I just want you to see this!" Alfred huffed, pushing the door to the astronomy tower wide open as he pulled Arthur in. "The port said the skies were clear remember? Since we have Trials tomorrow, I wanted you to really relax."

"All right, all right…but why are you wearing that atrocious jumper?"

"It's cold today, and you know it – come and see!" Alfred said, seemingly ignoring him but linking their hands together and pulling him into the room.

In that moment, he managed to fight back the urge to pull away Alfred's hand – not like he wanted to hold it or anything – and simply let the other boy lead him around the…well, magical room.

The ceiling was exactly like how he had read about it in the fantasy books as a child –the walls were made of a cork like material as he extended his fingers to carefully brush against them, and the crowning jewel of the room was a telescope as dark as the night sky outside, surrounded by glass that stretched from the carpeted floor to the painted ceiling. The ceiling was painted with a dark royal blue that bled into the curves of the circle that formed the rooftop, speckled with stars that seemed to shine as bright as Alfred's smile.

"Doesn't it look amazing?" Alfred asked, his eyes shining. "I helped design it a little. I used to take astronomy lessons here with my dad, then Yao. It's super nice looking, right?"

 _Like you_ , Arthur thought as he nodded. "Alfred…these are like the sorts I used to only read about as a child. This is truly wonderful – and does that telescope actually work? It's so massive!"

"Yup!" Alfred sang, beckoning him closer by bravely hooking an arm around his waist and gently leading him to the large contraption perched on a piece of wood. "You want to come and look at your relatives?"

"My _what_ now?" Arthur laughed, allowing himself to lean into his touch for just a little longer. Alfred was right, this really helped him forget about tomorrow and just savour the time they had together.

"Yeah! Your stars," Alfred said, shifting a hand to grip his own and lead him to the bars of the telescope, but paused right before. "Hey, your hands are pretty cold…are you okay?"

"Well, I suppose it's a little chilly," Arthur said, but no sooner had that come out his mouth Alfred had pulled off that sweater of his and was engulfing Arthur in it. It was a little big for him, all things considered, but his smell and warmth soon sent pleasant tingles down his spine.

"Come on," Alfred said, sounding a little bashful. Fates, should he have done that in the first place? Arthur looked so _cute_ all wrapped up in his oversized sweater, and the blush splashed onto his nose and cheeks, where he could make out faint freckles…

 _Gah, I'm getting distracted. But he's just so-_

* * *

"Alfred?" Arthur had a soft smile that Alfred knew would be on the list of his biggest weaknesses if they ever made a hero profile on him. "How do I hold this, exactly?"

"Okay, put your two hands on the bars, like _this-_ " he lifted his soft hands and orientated his fingers for the most comfortable grip, "-and then put your eye to the keyhole like that. That cool?"

Arthur leaned forward, pursuing his mouth cutely as he concentrated, wheeling the telescope around a little robotically before letting out a noise of triumph.

"Alfred? Are those little white spots stars?" his voice was filled with wonder, and he had to jolt himself from his stare before nodding, coming to rest alongside him.

"Yeah, they are. If you're lucky, you'll get to see red and blue ones tonight, since the skies are clear, but they're going to be harder to spot."

"Are there any green stars?"

"Heh, about that," Alfred said sheepishly. "They don't exist. Sometimes some stars might look like they are, but…yeah. I'm sorry about that, but – I did it for a reason."

"Oh?" Arthur asked, his mouth tilting up in the beginnings of a mischievous smile, eyes twinkling brighter than any star. "Then, _crown prince_ , I'd love to hear the reason behind your trickery."

"Don't laugh," Alfred said seriously, scrunching his fingers into fists and releasing them behind his back.

Arthur smiled, his expression a little teasing before nodding. The one hand that had been resting on the bar of the telescope relaxed.

"It's because…well, I never thought of wanting someone in the same way I care for you."

"…" Arthur had completely frozen now, his hand coming to rest with the other against his sides. "What…what are you-"

"I…I knew green stars weren't real, even when I met you," Alfred pressed on. If he couldn't say it now, he probably wouldn't say it for a long time. "They were unobtainable, just a dream. I thought a steady, happy relationship wasn't possible through this process. That like all the old kings I would get bored of the person I chose, then affairs, and everything else would follow afterwards, I guess. But you…you made me hopeful."

"And that's all I needed. At the time, at least." Alfred said softly, blushing a little. "I had a hopeful heart, going through this process – but you know things happened between us – and I lost it. I doubted myself a hell lot more than I've had for a while, which is well, amazing. But then tonight…"

"You were hopeful again," Arthur said tenderly, his gentle fingertips brushing away a strand of his golden hair. "That's all I need with you."

"Arthur, you make me want things I never knew I wanted." he blurted. "When I was just a kid, yanno, I thought my dad ruled the world. And I just wanted the world in my hands, like he did. But I just need you to know that whatever happens – even if it's tomorrow or fifty years from now, I'll still be there for you. You…Arthur, I – I want to be your hero. Above anything."

He didn't want to say those three words; although _I love you_ was trying their level best to yank themselves out of Alfred's tongue and into Arthur's ears. The other boy already had enough problems as it was, and with the extra pressure of his heartfelt confession, however much he wanted to say it, would do more harm than good things.

"What if," Arthur said, looking up from underneath his lashes in a titillating glance that made Alfred's heart beat just that little bit faster, "I told you that you're already my hero?"

"…uh, I…"

"Without you, I would have gone to the lesson like a nervous wreck, and probably frozen time all around Spades, if not Cards itself," Arthur smiled wryly. "If it wasn't for your idiot head dragging me up here, I would have sat in my room doing Fates knows what."

"Then I'm happy," Alfred said, his voice husky as he ran one hand over Arthur's cheek. "Really, I am."

The two of them stayed there for a moment, relishing in each other's touch as the moonlight shone peacefully above them, but after a moment Arthur fixated him with an almost _desperate gaze._

"Arthur…?"

"Kiss me. Please." His tone was longing, wanting. "Tell me that all of this is real, that you see me for who I am."

"It's real," Alfred said gently, lowering his mouth to his. "All of this is. Arthur…I see you. Draped in moonlight, a glimmer in your eyes. Standing with me between the roses, laughing at something funny, reaching out for me with a soft gaze as I hold you. Don't you _ever_ think you're invisible, or try to compare yourself to anyone else. In my eyes, you're more than enough for anyone."

"Please," Arthur whispered into his neck.

"Are…are you sure?" Alfred asked, vivid memories of Marianne and the other night flowing into his mind. Arthur nodded slowly, a tiny smile dancing around his lips, ones that he now ached to caress, reaching for Alfred's hands, as if to reassure him.

Arthur wasn't her. This was different, a whole new world, to explore with someone he truly loved.

And that was why Alfred heard him as their mouths joined. Arthur's hands wove into his jacket, deliberately gentle, and the fabric underneath it seemed to thrum with a pleasant heat against Alfred's back. In response, hands threaded themselves through Arthur's blond hair in a kiss that consumed him like a molten fire that roared through his veins.

He was so close to him that he could see Arthur's faint freckles, his pale, porcelain skin that seemed to perfectly reflect the moonlight, his rosy lips parted hopefully for more. Alfred swallowed tightly as more want, more _desire_ , seared into his heart. He'd never even thought that he could ever think of someone like this. But as he allowed his gaze to drift off onto Arthur's eyes for what seemed for the thousandth time, he realized that he didn't even need green stars, after all.

"Arthur-" Alfred began, parting for breath, but Arthur didn't let him continue as he tilted his head and found his mouth again, his glasses making him fumble until Alfred tore them off with a huff before pressing him into the wall, the glass window next to them fogging up instantly. Vibrant blue met burning green, and Alfred paused before tipping his chin up and Arthur's arms fiercely tugging him down to meet him again.

"I want you to be hopeful with me," Arthur said fervently between kisses, gasping a little as Alfred's hands shifted to his slender hips before sloppily engulfing his lips with his blazing mouth, coming dangerously close to consuming him whole. "I don't want to let you down tomorrow, whatever happens."

"Fates, you won't," Alfred said deeply, right above his ear. "Just be yourself. Promise me that, princess. You're everything to me when you're just you. Then I'll be more than hopeful. I'll do my best to stop holding back."

"Promise me that you'll be there," Arthur breathed, caressing Alfred's face, his legs wrapping around him from his lifted position, wiping off some spit from the corner of his mouth. "I don't want to hold back any longer."

Alfred pulled Arthur deeper into his arms, his heartbeat accelerating at how sweetly the other boy kissed him again and again as Alfred's lips met every part of Arthur's exposed skin, and how those fingers fisted in his hair and those legs – for fuck's sake, those _legs_ – carefully tightened around his lower waist in return.

 _I'm not afraid anymore_.

 _Just because of you._

* * *

"I'm sorry if I overstepped your boundaries tonight," Alfred said quietly, fidgeting behind his back, trying to not get distracted by Arthur's adorably confused look by avoiding his gaze. "It got a little out of hand, and-"

"No, it was fine – more than fine," Arthur said, sounding just a little perplexed, lifting his fingertips from his slightly swollen mouth as he spoke. "I was thinking about apologizing before we turned the corner, actually. But I…"

"Sir Arthur? Is it you – oh, my," Anna came out from his door, quickly taking stock of their closeness, causing the two boys to flush as red as ripe tomatoes. "I'm very sorry, I'll come back later-"

"N-no, Miss Anna, I was just, uh, bringing him back," Alfred stumbled. He was very sure his cheeks had just been doused in gasoline and set on fire. "Arthur, if you want to…"

"Anna – I'm sorry, but can I have a few more minutes?" Arthur said, sounding equally embarrassed as he did, to his relief.

"Oh, of course," Anna grinned, with her all knowing mischievous tone. "Your bath will be ready when you're back!"

"Umm…" Arthur stammered as soon as she left the door. Alfred noticed his fingers run across the side of his neck, places where his own mouth had been minutes ago. "Well, how do I put this-"

"I'm listening," Alfred said, subconsciously running his hands through his hair.

"Still am," he said, after another awkward moment had passed.

Arthur burst out laughing, shifting his legs together before taking a breath and speaking.

"All right, darling, what I was trying to say without sounding like some romantic _prat_ was that I enjoyed it. Truly."

"You kinda ruined the romantic pat thing with giving me a pet name," Alfred said playfully, but quickly retracted the statement as he saw Arthur's eyebrows narrow. "I-I liked it, though!"

"It's _prat_ , idiot," he said. "But, well…I noticed you were hesitant at the beginning. So, I suppose I should thank you."

"Hey, there's no need-"

"We – I know what happened with Marianne," Arthur pressed on, avoiding his gaze as he stepped a little closer to him. Alfred's eyes widened in surprise, but he kept on going. "How aggressively she came onto you. I wasn't expecting our little, er, make out session to happen tonight, or any time soon, but perhaps I needed something more than tiny caresses to calm me down tonight. But as soon as it heated up like that, I knew I didn't want to force you into that sort of horrible situation like that again. You shouldn't have pushed yourself for my sake without even thinking of your own, you idiot…"

"Hey, Artie," Alfred said, kneeling down a little to meet his gaze, but not so much that it started to sting his back. "It wasn't like that for you. It…it was mainly because I didn't feel anything for her. Honestly, I was keeping her in the competition just because of the lack of time I had spent with her, so I felt bad."

"You're too kind for your own good, Prince Alfred," Arthur murmured, still frustratingly turning away. "She could have done something horrible to you that night."

"Come on, don't be such an old man. Yao's given me a beating about that-" Alfred tried to joke, but Arthur's gaze had shot up with such terror that it made him snort with barely contained laughter.

"What do you mean by that? Did he actually hurt you? I thought Jack Yao was such a kindly man-"

"No, he is, he is! I meant in words – but it's kinda sweet that you care so much," he winked.

"Of course not, idiot!" Arthur spluttered, embarrassed – but that finally got him to face him again. "Still, thank goodness."

"But, really. You'll be fine tomorrow?" Alfred asked, the conversation taking on a more serious tone.

"I'll manage. I'll prove that I'm worthy – not just to you, but myself."

Alfred paused for a moment, his expression unreadable, before joy spilled onto his face and onto that irresistible beam.

"That's all I need to hear. Goodnight, Arthur," he grinned; letting Arthur bring his hand across his cheek before catching hold of it, letting his grip linger.

"Goodnight, Alfred," Arthur said, looking fondly as Alfred took hold of his other hand and pressed kisses to his two hands, which he held with fervour.

"Sleep…sleep well," Alfred said haltingly, pausing reluctantly before letting go and walking back to his room.

"You, too," Arthur said quietly, watching him until he was out of sight, but never out of mind.

* * *

 _(omake)_

"Oh my god, I think I need another shower as well, after all that _burning passion_ ," Anna smirked as she closed the door behind him. "Maybe you should have asked him to stay the night?"

"A-Anna!"

* * *

did anyone this would be angst after the A/N?

the fact that i can't make them say 'i love you' yet is **killing me**

replies

 _pastaaddict_ \- is it a bad thing that i thought of sunshine and rainbows for a minute oops

 _russia says hello_ \- i mean, at that point she was partly getting desperate, so i suppose desperate times call for desperate measures? and yes, _hot mess_ this chapter i took pretty literally. LMAO

 _overworldly_ \- they're supposed to be partly a mystery for now? but i was trying to give them more of a closure - they're not a major plotpoint but rather sort of embedded into the world. you'll find out next chapter (hopefully)

 _hearthorse11_ \- bro seriously tell me your secret. been crushing on the same person for years haha. thanks - my backstory needs some progress, at least in my opinion

 _amethystfairy1 -_ oh my god. you'RE ALIVE (also are your eyes OK? i'm still constantly in awe of people who binge read this 60+ chap...megalodon. it's sort of like when you overeat a buffet and feel like puking. yeah. that's how i would describe it LOL.) welcome back ^^

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	66. Anticipation

hello it is 10pm i am very sorry but i just finished this chapter by the literal skin of my teeth

and yes i promise it'll be the trials next chapter. i swear

(thing is i was planning to split it into two chapters...)

* * *

 **also**

 ** _IN THE NAME OF JESUS ALMIGHTY 400 REVIEWS. YOU GUYS ARE INSANE AAAAAAAA_**

 ** _THANK YOU SO MUCH! THIS WRITER IS SO HUMBLED ;v;_**

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for more FILLER (i swore it was going to be the trials this chapter but one thing led to another and i'm sitting on a pile of ~3,000 words and tears**

* * *

"Why weren't you at the lesson yesterday, Arthur?" Yao asked, pausing him at breakfast before they took their places. "I thought you would come, after the other two practically came over, they were so energized."

"I'm sorry," Arthur said quietly, the little bit of euphoria still simmering from yesterday instantly fading. "The prince and I were…well, we walked around the gardens a little and talked for a while."

"Hmm, I see," Yao said, and for a moment he thought that the Jack would be angry. But all he did was nod in understanding, keeping his hands together. "Well, I'm pleased that you got to spend some quality time with him yesterday. However, are you ready for the Trials today?"

"I got a good night's sleep," Arthur offered, to which he nodded.

"Very well, then - ah, it seems like someone wants to talk to you," he said, glancing to the left and watching Alfred's eager expression.

He had managed to coax his charge into wearing the proper attire for such a formal occasion – a dark blue military uniform with a mess of badges pinned onto it, along with a jacket and his main amplifier, would do nicely today.

"I'll see you after breakfast – and you might want to give that jacket to your maid beforehand. Don't want to get food over it, yes?"

"Yes, Your Highness," Arthur said, subconsciously pulling Alfred's bomber jacket around his shoulders. He had bought the item of clothing just for good luck, seeing as he needed it. "Thank you, again."

Yao watched the two of them meet, talking quietly, and noticed their closeness as Alfred's fingers brushed across his palm in the tiniest of kisses, and how easily Arthur reciprocated the touch with a smile. A pang of wistfulness ran through his system as he watched how easily they interacted as Arthur leaned forward a little, as if to tease, and Alfred rubbed the back of his neck in bashfulness.

They didn't have to worry about being caught every single time, didn't have to worry about touching sensitive wounds every time they embraced, no long, impossible gaps every time they parted.

Shaking his head, divulging his thoughts from the king half a world away, he continued onto his seat at the head of the breakfast table, where Matthew had already started cutting into his pancakes.

"Oh - good morning, Yao," he said, looking forward to his mentor – but pausing at his melancholic expression. "Is something wrong?"

"Er, nothing's wrong, Matthew, I was just thinking of the venue arrangements. There's no need to worry." Yao said, snapping back into his focus. Matthew didn't, and couldn't, know about this. "Has Katya awoken yet? I might have forgotten to mention that we might need her today, if she's not busy with our neighbour's new queen."

"She's been back in the palace for two days after the last trip there, so I asked her to come along to help you this morning." Matthew said. "She's hasn't charged up most of her magic yet, but her past training as an Ace surely will help."

Joker Katya, prior to becoming the eldest Joker, had been Ace to Ivan (and Natalya, but that is a secret to most)'s Clubs, but as soon as her brother was born the more traditionalist Kingdom called for her brother's ascension as King seeing that he was a male heir. Wanting to avoid civil war, she humbly took up the position of Ace as the second sibling.

Not long after, though, the then-eldest Joker Aldrich who later was known as the shunned older brother that had fallen for a commoner – a painter - and was cast out by the royal family, in addition to being grandfather to the royal Hearts brothers Ludwig and Joker-born Gilbert. After his subsequent return to the palace when he had declared his relationship with the painter to be null and void, he had liberally used his magic to quell a Diamond invasion and was starting to lose his conscience. Soon, word stemmed from the Hearts palace that there was in need of a Joker replacement soon. In order to curry favour with all of Cards but especially with Hearts to attempt to form an alliance against Spades, Katya's uncle – then King of Clubs – presented her as a Joker, which she took the position up for.

"Right, yes. She said that she'd meet us at the foyer after she tidies up a bit after the trip. I've arranged her maid to deliver her breakfast."

"Ah, Matthew, I'm quite sure everything would be much more difficult without you around," Yao laughed. "But that's a large weight off my shoulders." _I don't want to be reminded._ "I'll give her the briefing, and you may pick her up from the foyer once you're done with your breakfast."

The Elite had only gotten to their seats, Alfonso and Arthur lightly talking, their eggs half lying untouched on their plates while Emma was eating, her expression muted as she lifted the spoon full of cereal to her mouth. Yao focused on his plate and his bowl of cream soup before standing up and addressing the now tiny table with a loud clearing of his throat, nodding to Matthew who wiped his mouth and excused himself.

"Good morning, everyone," he said evenly, satisfied by the silence that followed. "Today is the day of the Trials, as we have all known. Since it's late December – and you can see the Christmas decorations that we've put up have been collecting dust, which I blame a _certain_ prince for-" Alfred blushed, to the smiles of the Elite – "I would like everyone to wrap up warmly today. There will be warm drinks and hot foods during meals, and if there is nothing eventful we will be able to make it back to the palace for dinner."

"It'll take…around an hour by coach to the venue that we've chosen?" Alfred said, looking to Yao for confirmation, which he gave. "So then the process itself won't take as long. There are two stages – one that you have to do by yourself, and one that I'll help out with. So that's why I have this nifty uniform here and my amplifier."

It was the golden Spade clock that Arthur had seen all those months ago. The tiny Spade was carved as intricately as he remembered, until he caught sight of the center of the clock – it had been coloured bright azure. It ticked steadily, but now it was accompanied with the small but steady thrum of unused magic.

"What's your amplifier for?" Emma asked, her tone dreamy. Obviously it wasn't the amplifier she was interested, rather in his outfit, but nevertheless, it was a good question that Yao didn't want to slouch over.

"I only use it for when I really need to perform cool magic with my queen, when they're chosen." _Good idea with staying neutral, Alfred. Don't want to discourage anyone._ "So you likely won't see it around a lot. But since today's special, I'll get to use it."

"Besides from that, another person's coming around to help today. We've managed to fit in our Joker Katya to assist just in case."

The underlying tone of Emma's little brother's death was certainly simmering in everyone else's ears, and Yao wanted to provide as much protection as he possibly could for both the trio and Matthew and Alfred.

"I haven't met her before," Alfonso's curious voice came over the small chatter. "I've only read about her in the paper…what's she like in real life?"

"She can be a little quiet, but she's very nice," Yao said warmly. "I'm sure you'll love to get to know her soon. Now, everyone please finish up with their breakfast soon, then get wrapped up warmly and be at the foyer at ten, yes?"

He got general nods and agreements, and with that he tucked in his chair and went back into his room.

The big day had come.

* * *

"Any ideas on how to _not_ blast the cameras with anything?" Alfonso asked, wrapping his arms around his shoulders tightly. "They're like beady eyes, staring into my soul."

"I guess we'd be looking to move them, not blast them with anything," Arthur said. Hopefully he wouldn't do anything of the sort. "But I don't know. I wish we didn't have to do it in front of them – anyone, really, for that matter."

"If we're not good enough today, we might not able to be a good queen," Alfonso said quietly. "I really don't want that. Not just for the good of the kingdom, but for Alfred as well."

Arthur nodded, following his gaze to where Emma was sitting staunchly on a chair, her expression terse.

"She's not handling Louis's death very well, especially with the expectation of this whole thing. I mean, I have a gut feeling it's going to be over soon after this."

"I mean, there's no point to stick around after you've already lost," Arthur said. "So why would he keep us around for an extra amount of time?"

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I'm going to get something hot to drink – you coming?"

"No, I'm all right," Arthur said, having followed Emma's gaze to where Matthew and Alfred were alighting from. "Stay warm, okay?" he squeezed Alfonso's hands before the two friends parted.

"Emma, we'll be fine, my dear," Alfred was saying, bundled up in another coat on top of his formal uniform as he walked down. Matthew had a striped blue scarf on top of his formal jacket with matching gold buttons, and seemed to be dealing with the cold reasonably well as he held a cup of a hot drink in his bare hands.

"Are you sure? The rebels…I don't know…"

"We've checked the whole area and asked around the four Kingdoms," Jack Yao said, coming up. "We won't let anyone snatch you up or anyone else, little one."

"Well…if you say so," Emma said shakily. "I'm just a little scared, that's all."

"My dear, it's going to be all right," Alfred said gently, rubbing her shoulders. "Now I guess we should get under the marquee before you catch a cold since it's snowing like no tomorrow!"

Arthur paused a little, biting his lip as to wonder what exact cue he should give that he could purloin Alfred away for a private chat, but as soon as he had seated Emma in an elaborately built chair had he exchanged a few words with Matthew, then caught Arthur's eye.

"Hey, Matt – make sure she gets settled and then help Alfonso, okay? I have to go ask Arthur something," Alfred said, feeling the anxiety in his stomach rise up as soon as he focused on those green eyes.

"Is it about the threat?" Matthew asked tersely, tilting up his glasses. "They reported that they were progressing around the tiny stretch of Clubs border they share with Hearts. They shouldn't be anywhere near here!"

"Yeah, but what if they decide to send in some reinforcements just so they could sabotage it? What if they wanted to play dummy? We can't trust Clubs, either, Matthew," Alfred said tersely. "Fates knows they've always been out for our blood."

"Alfred!" Matthew said sharply, shoving his brother. "That's no way to speak, especially when Katya's around. We all know they wouldn't sink that low. The rebels, however, should be detected if they thought of using magic, and we've brought a lot of soldiers with us today. Plus, both you and Yao can help with the magic side of things, not to mention your super strength. We've got it set. This isn't a time to be pointing fingers at each other."

"…" Alfred looked conflicted, but as soon as he saw a number of people, including a very warmly dressed Joker, he decided to drop it. As much as he disliked Joker Katya's brother, she was agreeable and quite a kind person, if not a little shy. "Fine. But if anything goes wrong today-"

"You'll be sending an angry message to the rebels, _not_ Clubs," Matthew said warningly. "I'll help Yao with setting up. Don't get into trouble."

* * *

It was not until a little later that he sought out Alfred's company since he was talking to a number of important looking people. They were all clad in numerous, varying shades of blue except for a tall, very curvy woman with a…well, one would say a _significant_ chest.

She was wearing a dark, raven coloured coat with a furry hat that matched her boots, as long with the short, wiry tail that barely peeked out from the hem of her coat. Katya nodded, subconsciously adjusting the buttons on her coat before speaking to Alfred. He seemed a lot at ease than compared with her brother, and he waited until she placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and he smiled in response.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted something," Arthur said, feeling a little self-conscious. Alfred turned around to face him, asking Katya to pause a moment before his gloved hand enclosed Arthur's bare one.

"Not at all, little one," the Joker said, her tone serene but her eyes warm. "Is he one of your Elite?"

"Yes, he's Arthur," Alfred said, his speech a lot more formal than he was usually.

"It's nice to meet you, Your Highness," Arthur said, doing a little bow and reaching for his hand, before pausing at the velvet. "Um, I'm sorry-"

"Ah no, that's very charming of you," she laughed. "You have a very lovely bunch. I am sure all of them would make a lovely queen."

And with that, she turned around to confer with the Jack Yao again, and Arthur managed to catch a glance of a tail sneaking around before Alfred had brought up his hands to his own mouth.

"Alfred! Wha-" he yelped, surprised, but the prince shook his head and pressed his mouth to his freezing knuckles.

"Princess, what are you doing?" Alfred breathed, his warm breath rolling over his skin. "It's freezing out here. Don't tell me you forgot to bring a pair of gloves!"

"Well, about that…"

"Hey," Alfred said, stuffing Arthur's hands back into his own pockets and yanking off his own gloves. "Wear mine for now, okay?"

"But won't you be cold? I…they're a prince's, it would be improper, I…" Arthur trailed off, his cheeks redder than they were as Alfred carefully slipped his hands into the pockets.

"That won't matter soon enough," he said. "I need you to be warm now. If you're okay today, then everything's gonna be fine. You don't have to worry about anything today, I've double checked and triple checked – not just for you though, but yeah. I won't let anyone, especially you, get hurt today."

"That means a lot." Arthur said gently, caressing his face with his newly warm hands, making sure the others weren't looking. "And you know it does."

"Fates, I was hoping," Alfred grinned boyishly, kneeling on the raised pedestal to look up at Arthur. "That, uh, it did mean a lot. I mean, my hands are gonna be freezing for the rest of the day, but-"

"Oh, hush, put them back on, don't push yourself for _my_ sake, idiot," Arthur said, flustered, but Alfred simply laughed and raised Arthur's hands again to his mouth, his lips brushing teasingly against them.

"Arthur," he said mischievously, sticking out his tongue. "I was joking, sugar. And yeah, I'm going to do it for _yooour_ sake."

He huffed in exasperation, resisting the urge to touch his tanned skin as he tugged him back up. "Stand back up, it's absolutely blistering in the cold. You're a prince, start acting like one."

"Aw, you know where to hit me where it hurts," Alfred sang, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm very princely, thank you."

"I'll say," Arthur smiled, folding his arms but still not diverting his gaze. "If you'd act a lot more grown up then you are, then…"

"Hm?" In that instant, Alfred had fallen close, so close that he was right up against Arthur's ear, eliciting a shiver from the other boy.

"Me, not acting more mature?" he murmured sensually. "I'm not sure if you remembered what happened _last night_ , but I thought I was pretty grown up then. If I remembered correctly, I think both of us were mature enough."

Arthur flushed, his mouth forming a soft _o_ of surprise as Alfred withdrew, a smug expression on his face. Those blue eyes pierced him with a softened, yet intense gaze that he knew he wouldn't have understood before. But now…he felt like he was beginning to understand his mixed messages more than he had before.

"Go get them, Artie. Make me _more_ hopeful today, yeah?"

"I'll make you so hopeful that you'll be imagining a friendship with the King of Clubs next," Arthur teased, marching across the field to where Emma and Alfonso sat.

"What? That's never gonna happen!"

* * *

completely random but this finnish person, tomppabeats makes these surreal songs, however short. the EP i've been listening for this fic a lot is called tyttö and OK i'll stop bothering you with my music tastes LOL

but it's really nice

* * *

 _replies_

 _mi-chan kizanami_ \- mi-chan omg - your super long message in slack was something that made me smile for a whole week. don't risk your health for a fic tho! thank you for reading (PSA her artwork is stunning check it out ;V)

 _russia says hello_ \- i hope i delivered a little this chapter - i definitely miss his sass. and i mean...if you wish on the right star, yanno...

 _pastaaddict_ \- he's not completely smooth yet though!

\- it's not YOI or anything lmao. thank you for your massive review, as always! anna probably will run a finnish bath house after this fic ends haha. more fluff coming (eventually!)

 _ANGRYFAN_ \- bro...thank you. i feel validated :')

 _400_ \- have a gut feeling you're the same people LMAO. thank you very very much ^^|| i hope to improve as always!

 _hearthorse11 -_ been there, done that. *finger guns and mariachi band appears*

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	67. Trials (I)

rgihruhgrugh i have been lifting people for three straight days and my arms ache and it's a bitch to write LOL

 **as always,i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kieracass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for the trials! i'm surprised as well! wowee! stop! using! exclamation! marks! myself!**

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also. what. _30,000 reads. you all deserve a crown or something_

* * *

As soon as all the attendees had filed in and the cameras had set up in their proper places, the Jack alighted from the viewing stand to come face the three of them.

"Welcome to all those witnessing this year's Trials. Today, we are here with our last few Elite – Sir Alfonso, Lady Emma and Sir Arthur." he said, gesturing to each of them in turn with a flourish that was missing from his usual, calm demeanour. "They will be assessed today on their magical abilities that might, in the future, impact the motion of Spades and even Cards as a whole. There will be two sections – one where all three candidates have to conduct themselves utilizing a series of simple and complex spells to demonstrate their ability and talent, and one where the prince himself personally will assist with them to help them discover their true potential. And with that, we will begin!"

Cheers came from the viewing deck, and Alfonso nudged Arthur's side as he noticed that the camera crew was clapping, even as one tilted one in their direction.

"What do we do?" Emma whispered. "Do we just wave or something?"

"This isn't like the last time we were…presented to the public," Alfonso replied awkwardly. "We know what's going to happen, right?"

"I'm not sure about that. They could be considering throwing us into cold water and making us use our basic knowledge to levitate ourselves out and warm ourselves all within twenty seconds."

"You pessimist," Emma said, smiling a little. "I don't think anyone, especially not Alfred, would do that."

"Are you ready, then?" Yao said, coming to approach the three. "Sir Alfonso, if you don't mind, may you go first?"

"Yes, Your Highness," he said obediently, flashing Emma and Arthur a glance before he followed the Jack outside of the small marquee. From a small television set, both of them could watch the other boy go through his trial.

"All right then, Sir Alfonso, first we'll do what we started off with in our first lesson." Yao gestured to a small, white crate, sitting on top of some wooden boxes. "Try and see if you can knock it over."

"Can't I do that with my hands?" Alfonso muttered under his breath, which garnered a few laughs. "Yes, Your Highness."

"Remember, use your dominant hand for best control!" he called, stepping back as Alfonso smoothed back his jacket and thrust his palm in the general direction of the plinth.

The whole area was completely silent as he shut his eyes and started to concentrate, taut with tension.

Then with a _spark_ , a flash of pale, uncoloured light sprung forth from his outstretched fingertips, shuttling straight for the block. Unfortunately, the little thing didn't make it from the sudden blast of power and tilted before falling off completely, landing in the snow where the paleness of the block matched the colour of it.

Alfonso had been successful.

* * *

The whole marquee burst into applause, Alfonso pausing to straighten his jacket and hold out his hand towards the Jack, who gestured towards him. Yao generated a very pale shade of blue magic, simmering at his fingertip, and brought it in a tiny arc over the palm he used before applauding him and leading him back into where Emma and Arthur were sitting, gesturing for him next.

"Sir Arthur? You're next," Yao chided, watching him get up before ushering him back into the cold.

"Um, Alfonso, can you look after my gloves?" he asked, to which the boy nodded and took them with his hands.

"Jack Yao…will I have to do anything in particular to prove my worth?" Arthur asked, half to himself as they walked outside.

"Well, we can't prove it all in one go," he said. "But if you use your magic wisely and carefully, you'll know that you've put it to good use. All right," he continued. "You may begin as soon as our attendants prop up the box again."

The box, slightly cracked, was moved back up to the platform.

Arthur simply slid his eyes shut and focused, waiting for that din of light as he gingerly raised his hand.

It was a lot dimmer than last time with the rose, probably because it was a lot farther and wasn't exactly bursting with life. But after a bit of prodding that required him to bring up his other hand to clamp around his wrist to support his shaky sense of direction, the faint, blue glow appeared in his mind.

He edged closer towards the flickering ball as it danced around his vision. For one, frightening moment, it flitted dangerously close to the edge of his sight, but he managed to seize hold of it as soon as it inched very close to the center. He kept it there as it swirled around restlessly, now starting to feel a little conscious of the time.

It wasn't until he had really honed and started to control the energy that he carefully opened his eyes and fixed them straight on the plinth, the silhouette of the ball of light burned into his vision.

To his great relief, a blast of light sprung from his palm as well, lingering on his fingertips for a moment that felt too long before it moved sharply, crashing into the block, sending it flying backwards into the snow.

Arthur lowered his hand, panting, feeling a little bit of a headache as claps came from the marquee again, and crossing over to Jack Yao.

"Good job, Sir Arthur," he said warmly, closing his eyes for a moment before the thrum of the blue magic was resting on his fingertip once more. "We're just doing this so that we can remove any lingering magic from your skin, for safety purposes."

"Thank you," he said, standing as a strange, cooling sensation floated over his palm.

"Although…" the Jack said, pausing. "Were you charging up your magic in there? It wasn't exactly necessary to use the circular motion to make sure it landed, charging it in a circular motion takes a little longer, and it's a very secure spell."

"Well…" Arthur said, feeling a little embarrassed. "It seemed to move around in my vision and I was afraid that I would lose it, so I wanted it to stay as in the center of my vision and as still as it could be when I launched it."

"Hm. All right, then," Yao said, patting him on the back. "That's a good call when we get onto later stages where the crown prince will help with you, but it's a good trial run. Take a break, then."

Emma was already at the door as they arrived, and Alfonso signaled to Arthur to sit down with him as they left.

"How was it?" he asked cheerfully, handing Arthur back his gloves. "Fun?"

"I'm not sure how I really did, actually," Arthur admitted, slipping them back on. _More like – how did I keep it in control? Maybe it was because I wasn't around someone else…_ "It felt pretty long."

"Yeah, it was," Alfonso laughed. "I thought you were posing for a little while!"

"Did I, um, muck up?"

"Huh? Oh no, of course you didn't! Even though you were posing, you looked kind of cool. And in the resulting spell, the thing went _flying_! I couldn't even do that, and I really wanted to impress him."

"Well," Arthur said, assuming that _he_ meant Alfred and not anyone else, really, "I don't think he's really out for the best magical user. He just wants to get this over with, since we're all pretty competent in magic. Maybe the cameras will note your faster time but more of my power?"

"Hey, makes sense – wait, there's Emma!"

Favouring her left hand instead of her right, unlike the other boys, Emma stood, her figure stiffened as she lifted her arm to face the plinth – now looking five steps away from being shattered, to both Arthur and Alfonso's surprise.

Nothing happened for a good ten seconds before she too managed to produce a light, but she enclosed it within her hand before almost throwing it out, her hand flicking upwards as it landed squarely in the center of the plinth, smashing it into a mess of marble as the marquee burst into claps, now accompanied with some cheers.

"You know, I thought you wanted to steal the honour of destroying it before she could," Alfonso said. "Gives that _shazam._ But that precision is something else – how did she manage to trap it in her hand?"

"I don't know, but yes," Arthur said, watching as she walked in, waving at the audience before dropping in the seat next to them. "Indeed it does."

* * *

The larger half of the morning passed without much of a fanfare as the first task. Their attributes – speed for Alfonso, precision for Emma and power for Arthur – seemed to manifest stronger in each of them as the day went on.

During a test in which they had to alter the colour of a plastic block, Alfonso managed to turn half of the block from blue to a very pale red, almost pink, in record time. Arthur, on the other hand, managed to turn almost all of it in a slightly more vivid shade, like a sort of watery red. Emma, however, managed to coax it to turn a slight bit redder than her companions, but she had barely managed to cover a quarter of the block.

Arthur's right hand was starting to feel a little cold despite Alfred's gloves from being glossed over by Yao's neutralizing magic, and it seemed that Emma and Alfonso did as well, judging by the repeated warming of hands in the small, separate marquee they sat in as Trial after Trial.

The headache, the little mental twinges that Arthur – and the others, by the looks of things – only seemed to grow more and more intense. After the three of them managed to move a haphazard, jerky tennis ball from one place to the other while being airborne – Emma managed to keep it as still during the movement for the longest, Alfonso did it faster than the two of them and Arthur nearly overshot it – they were feeling a lot more drained than they had previously.

"Wait, that's the sixth, right?" Emma panted, rubbing over her distressed forehead. "That's got to be."

"No, uh, it's the fifth," Alfonso mumbled, leafing over a small pamphlet that Yao had slipped them after they completed the third task – one of hitting a target that Emma had shone in. "Says here that the next one should be the last."

"What do you think it is?"

"Water," Arthur affirmed, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "Always water."

"Then I'll say fire."

"The slow decimation of our hopes and dreams straight in front of our faces. What?" Alfonso asked, spluttering with barely restrained laughter at the two's horrified looks. "I'm being honest."

"So, the future, then."

"Huh, I certainly hope not," Emma sighed, crossing her legs under her chair.

"Knowing you, it would probably involve Alfred."

"Did someone say my name?"

The three of them whipped around to see the prince, cheeks and ears red from the cold, but still valiantly wearing a smile on his face. Emma let out an excited call of his name and ran as fast as she could in her heels, Alfonso following close behind her, waving cheerfully.

Arthur simply sat there, looking at his general direction, smiling a little as their eyes met.

"I'm sorry to not have come sooner," he said, clasping a hand over Emma's arm and sharing a glance with Alfonso as they all sat back down. "Was too busy feeling the three of you amaze me and the rest of the audience."

"My head's getting sore," Emma sighed. "Any help with that?"

"Hey, I was just looking to help with that," Alfred laughed. "I've got a spot of help, but that's going to require more magic."

"More?!" Alfonso said in mock disbelief, narrowing his eyes affectionately as Alfred pulled out his hand from under his sleeve. "We're only halfway through the day. Can you burst from using too much magic?"

"Not where we are," Alfred said, his smile fading for a moment before composing himself. "So, uh, I'm technically not _allowed_ to use any magic on you just in case I give anyone an edge or something, but Jack Yao said it's okay. And really, that's all that matters to me."

Laughter was exchanged, and Emma curled up against him, removing her headband before raising her head to meet his hand as he gently laid it on her forehead and closed his eyes. A moment past, before a deep blue light started glowing from where their skin met. It was almost like a firefly's glow, faint and pulsing, lingering before dissolving as Alfred removed his hand.

"Oh my goodness, that did work!" Emma said cheerfully, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. "Thank you so much, Alfie!"

"No problem," Alfred said with a grin. "Alfonso, you okay with this?"

"More than happy." he said, beaming, quickly slicking back his messy fringe. "Just checking, this won't erase my memories or anything?"

"I wouldn't do that!" Alfred said, taking up the same position and pressing his hand to his forehead and performing the same spell, but for him it glowed a little brighter before Alfonso stepped back with a satisfied smile on his face.

"Thanks," Alfonso said, nervously squeezing Alfred's hand for a moment. "You…you sure you'll be warm enough?"

"I'll be great, Alfonso," Alfred said reassuringly, returning the squeeze. "Stay warm, all right?"

"…I will!" he said, blushing madly before returning to his seat. "Guess it's you now, Arthur."

He took his place in the chair opposite the prince, holding his gaze for a moment before leaning over. He felt the sensation of Alfred's callous fingers against his forehead; brush away his fringe before he felt the buzz of magic against his forehead.

He had imagined that it would be a tiny pleasant, cooling feeling, but instead of that he got a rush of balmy heat that made him inhale sharply and look up at Alfred's closed eyelids before looking back down. A wave of heat, almost identical to that, washed over his whole body and made him feel almost lethargic.

That had certainly warmed up more than just his forehead.

"Are you okay?" Alfred said in a hushed tone, his fingertips lingering on his forehead, slowly letting his hair droop back into his eyes. "I wasn't expecting the heat."

"No, well – it was quite pleasant, really," Arthur stammered, his heart thudding in his chest. "Thank you."

"I'm glad," he said haltingly, as if he wanted to say more. But he lifted his clock to his gaze, scanned it, and quickly looked panicked.

"Uh, I'm really sorry, everyone, but they're expecting me back in the viewing deck in two minutes. Good luck with the last test, okay? I'll be with you in the second half."

Those words stayed with Arthur all through the last test, almost more than the magic.

But the magic was searing in his veins, especially when Alfonso burst apart the clay pot so quickly that he got a standing ovation, Emma managing to contain the little burst of clay shards perfectly to loud clamours.

Arthur, when it was his turn, blew it into little pieces with a sharp blue light, a rush of power that left everyone gaping in shock, including Yao.

If he was watching to the side, however, he could have seen Alfred's wide blue eyes, not leaving his lithe figure for even a moment.

 _I'll be with you, too._

 _Any way I can._

* * *

 _replies_

 _mi-chan_ \- ahah i don't want to spoil anything, but knowing me there will be :V thank you for continuing to support me!

 _russia says hello -_ he probably was wondering how exactly arthur knew how to tease him already, knowing those dorks

 _pastaaddict_ \- i actually did it this time lmao

 _hearthorse11_ \- what innocent child? his inner horny teenager is coming out soon ;) pew pew

\- i think my aching libertea blood will always be here. i had to include some fluff as they were both demanding lol. i think it's kind of a shame that i didn't get to put katya in as much as i'd liked to? if there is a sequel (rather large if) i'll definitely put a point in for her. don't worry, i feel like the two of them are slowly, _slowly_ starting to break free of their restraints. hopefully, fingers crossed!

 _chuuchan2317 -_ i'm very honoured ;v; please continue to read this fic, i'll do my very best to keep it going!

 _gatita-yaoi -_ your review has landed you in the top five of the best emails i've ever recieved LMAO. and no, they haven't had sex (yet? i don't know), they've just started to explore themselves more...i guess, physically. make out as in kissing but kind of less restrained - at least, that's what i've got from my friend who's actually _tried_ it, so i don't really know lol.

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	68. Trials (II)

me: hey! what a nice day! let's relax for a bit and enjoy our hobbies!

mocks:

mocks: friendly reminder that you have to revise and your teacher shouted at the whole class for not doing crap

me:

me: ,,,,buddy

mocks: study for me or else. also, you don't get to play with dogs for a week because of your horrid internet connection. also, chrom lost gauntlet.

me: :(

this chapter, bursting into the room and brandishing papers: HEY, YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED WRITING ME YET

* * *

and so concludes my saturday. three cheers!

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

"That was pretty good for a first Trial," Alfonso said, putting down his glass on one of the hundreds of chairs in the almost empty marquee. "Wonder why we have to stay in the marquee, though. Isn't it meant for those huge garden parties that royals sometime have?"

"Yeah, I think so," Emma said, brushing away a stray crumb from the corner of her mouth. "Wonder why they would rent out such a huge space for us – didn't they say that it was going to be private?"

"Yes, they did mention something about it. I believe they said something about it being completely secluded?" Arthur said, managing to mumble out against his tart.

"Alfred said that the advisors picked out this venue in the end," Alfonso said quietly, although he didn't seem too worried. "Well, I suppose that the advisors have good interests."

Arthur bit his tongue, thinking about the caning. That was a thing he'd never forget. If he ever found himself winding up to have the power, he'd be sending them with the justice they deserved.

"Anyway. I think we should get going now," Emma said, taking one last sip of her orange juice. "Is it a little too late to back out now?"

"Don't worry. I'm nervous too."

* * *

"Hey – are you nervous?" Matthew asked, tipping down his glasses to brush off some stray snow that had begun to fall. "I mean, it's your turn now."

"Yeah," Alfred said quietly, following suit and copying his brother. "I actually am."

Snow had started to fall as the sun hovered precariously above the Spadian sky. The three remaining Elite had gathered around a seemly empty field, talking amongst each other but keeping their distance.

"I haven't done any real manipulation of time for really long, let alone by myself," Alfred said. "I don't want to hurt anyone. Not just Arthur."

"The fact that you mentioned him alone is telling me that you're really thinking about him today!" Matthew said, smiling a little. "But it's good that you're thinking about their safety. I think they'll be able to handle it, though."

"…I hope so. I'm not sure about the Jokers, though, I haven't shaken off the thought of them sending a separate searching party. I don't know what it's about, but…"

"Hopefully you and I can detect it, if Yao won't." Matthew said slowly. He knew Alfred wasn't too familiar with Joker symbols of magic, having only been acquainted with Katya and Gilbert for small periods of time. Matthew, on the other hand, had been close (very, that is) with Gilbert, so he could only hope that he had a better feel for the sort of magic.

 _Wait_ , a small voice in his head popped up while Alfred continued to talk. _He's been with you, and he's managed to camouflage his magic signature by using a nullifier when someone's snooping. What if they're using them?_

Matthew paused, reaching out to ask Alfred, but paused as the little voice continued.

 _Tch. What do you mean? The only means to snag a nullifier are because you're of the Kingdoms. And the rebels certainly aren't, and they're not exactly floating around en masse after what happened to the Queen of Diamonds. You shouldn't bother your brother; he has a lot on his plate already._

"You okay there, Mattie?" Alfred asked, his expression half distracted. "You look troubled."

"No, no, it's nothing, Al," he said quickly. "It's because it's almost their turn after all. I'll go sit with Yao, you be careful, right?"

"Yeah, right," Alfred said uneasily. He squeezed his hand for a moment before going off.

Matthew swallowed, quickly scanning the quiet clearing before taking his seat next to where Yao was.

"Everything all right?" Yao asked. He had a stack of papers in the space next to his chair, as usual, but he had brought a pair of glasses, unlike the usual fare. "You look worried, Matthew."

"No, it's just…Alfred brought up the problem of the Joker scouting party coming around."

"But they'll have their auras reeking around them," Yao said, using unusually harsh vocabulary, which surprised him. "We'll cast them down before anything happens, all right?"

"Right, yes. Can…can you see better with your glasses?" Matthew said, firmly squashing the thought again in his mind. "I mean, it's not every day you bring them out."

"Yes, Matthew, they do work a lot better," Yao said, sounding more cheerful. "I quite prefer the view from up here."

"You're right," Matthew said, settling a little into his plush cushion. "It's a pretty good day with decent weather."

But as Matthew watched the cameras reorient themselves, rolling around the pitch, and Alfred scurrying to the floor and sharing some words with the Elite, he couldn't shake the uneasy feeling from his stomach.

* * *

The stage was set.

A small pot filled to the brim with blue carnations. A rolled out carpet stained with royal blue led directly to the marble pillar with the pot resting on top. It was almost like an aisle, leading two people straight to the center of it – namely Alfred and the Elite to perform some manipulation.

Arthur's stomach convulsed at the thought, turning his hands over and over in his lap where they rested. _What if, what if…_

An official – one clad in light blue uniform, shouted out Alfonso's name, and he walked forward, all cheerful grins. He even snuck in a wave to the crowd, garnering a cheer, before Alfred playfully tapped him on the shoulder and he turned back to him.

Emma and Arthur leaned closer to the TV as a camera panned a little closer to them – not so close that they could hear what Alfred was saying to Alfonso, but close enough that they could see the prince's fingers curl around his shoulders and Alfonso lean on him a little as Alfred slowly lifted his clock on top of their joined hands, the chain swinging like a pendulum.

For a moment, they paused together before Alfonso took a deep breath and nodded to him. The gold around the rim of the clock gleamed for a moment so swift that Arthur thought it didn't happen. The two of them stepped forward, strangely in sync, and Alfonso lifted his palm, dislodging the clock but still keeping Alfred's touch.

The carnations instantly drooped, previously sky blue petals turning into a shade that resembled grey clouds that had had the rain sucked from them. The amplifier in turn seemed to twitch, almost as if it was levitating from their joined hands…

Alfred's expression was concentrated as well, his eyes closed as well while Alfonso performed the spell. The moment his golden watch left their joined hands his eyes shot open and he enclosed Alfonso's hand in his own, ending the spell and causing gravity to pull the watch down back onto their hands.

The shift happened so fast that even Matthew seemed to be taken aback, seeing from the close shot that the camera delivered. The knots in Arthur's stomach only doubled. How could he hope to outshine Alfonso?

Cheers came from the crowd, and Alfred collected the clock with a flourish. Alfonso looked cheerful, and he leaned in for a hug of relief before he and Alfred exchanged a few words, laughing. Alfred was waving goodbye, then Alfonso had gotten to Yao, and before he even knew it Arthur was being ushered back into the cold with the Jack's gentle hand against his back.

The official's shout of his came rang clear in his ears, and he took three shaky steps forward.

Bless the Fates.

* * *

Arthur didn't even dare to be such a crowd favourite in his walk there. It was mostly about keeping his composure, to keep his head high as he walked towards Alfred, to not show a single inch of his fear in front of the cameras, where his family would be watching…

Unfortunately for him, though, Alfred caught on the act as soon as their eyes met – his expression turned from inquisitive to concerned in a heartbeat.

"Arthur," he said as soon as he was within hearing range. "Do you need any help?"

"Wh-what do you mean?" Arthur hissed, very surprised that he had found out. "There's…there's really not that much to worry about-"

"Hey, you're stammering as much as Matthew, and he usually doesn't sound this nervous." Alfred said, his tone serious. Their fingers locked, and after a moment Alfred added: "And you're holding my hand tighter than usual."

"Look, I just…tell me when to stop with the magic, all right?" Arthur said, pushing back a lump in his throat as they took the first step. He could almost feel the glare of the cameras as they walked down the strip of blue carpet amongst the snow. "I don't want to hurt anyone, or worry you, or hurt you, or disappoint you-"

"It's nothing about that!" Alfred exclaimed as quietly as he did, fighting his urge to tip up Arthur's chin and kiss him as sweetly as he did that night in the observatory if that would calm him down. "I'm here. I'm not going to go anywhere, Artie, whatever happens. Actually, to be honest, I thought you were going to talk about my ridiculous outfit."

"Honestly, you look rather dashing if you were to be without those horrid medals sticking to your chest," Arthur huffed, barely managing to keep his gaze to the flower pot in front of them after he realized what he had said. "U-um! What I meant by that is I want to tug them right off!"

"Fates, Arthur, gotta keep your needy side in check," Alfred joked, finding it incredibly difficult as well. "Just pulling your pigtails, sugar. You'll be fine. I know you will."

Arthur bit his lip, pushing down his slightly tinged cheeks, and turned around to face him, feeling Alfred's strong arm around his waist. He removed his gloves, stuffing them into his breastpocket and allowed the prince's hand to encompass his own.

The touch was so very warm already that Arthur felt a shiver run up his spine. Whether it was simply to do with the fact that his hands were warm or it was just the reside of the magic that he had done earlier with Alfonso would never be known to him, as he felt the cool tang of the gold clock rest on their joined hands.

Arthur allowed himself one last look at Alfred's very blue eyes, before he leaned a little closer, trying his best to subtly erase most, if not all skin contact between them. Rather unsurprisingly though, Alfred's grip on his waist only grew tighter, and he gave a squeeze to Arthur's hand as gently as he could from the awkward placing.

"Remember that night in the outhouse?"

"Yes, I do," Arthur breathed, remembering the earlier months of desperate uncertainty. "Will it be something like that?"

"If you can do it, I want to do that but with better and stronger results," Alfred said, his tone also hinting that he was thinking back to that time as well. "You okay with that?"

"Let's do this together." Arthur whispered, tilting his fingertips just a little higher to brush their fingers together in a silent embrace, one that they could not have shared with all these cameras.

* * *

At first, there was nothing.

Not even a small spark of light, stifling like the first time they had done it with the rose.

Then the familiar din of light. But this time, it glowed remarkably blue – it was the shade of robin eggs in the autumn, the azure butterflies in the garden at spring, the handsome colour of Alfred's eyes.

In another heartbeat, though, it was as if Arthur could _feel_ the pressing cold of his amplifier against his skin, even though Alfred's hand was the one protecting him from the clock. The light blew wide, encompassing Arthur's senses-

-until he felt the curl, the dance of carnation petals underneath his hand, the dried petals crackling and unfurling against the touch of magic that he had brought, breathing back life into the bloom.

He could suddenly feel Alfred's hand on his waist, his whole _presence_ , stronger than ever before. The side that he had pressed up against burned with a cosy flame, and he could feel strands of his hair tickle against his cheeks and his gaze sear through like a wildfire, consuming him and making the clock burst into life. Arthur heard a minuscule ticking noise at the back of his head, and felt almost as if he was holding the clock by itself.

It wasn't until the faint gasps, from beyond the crowd, had reached his hearing that he dared to look.

He let out a breath of shock as he opened his eyes, as a wave of exhaustion rippled up his spine. He unintentionally stepped back into Alfred as the magic stopped and the clock fell back into the other boy's hands with a _thump_.

The carnations had, well, certainly _grown_ \- but not even that was enough to describe what he or anyone was seeing.

The carnations had sprouted to over three times of their original size – the petals had bloomed into a vibrant, energetic cobalt, and Arthur could even see several, completely new petals had grown to join them.

He could hear Alfred's surprised inhale, feeling his breath against his ear like a rush of warmth before the prince – bless him – let out a triumphant yell, grabbing Arthur's hands and spinning him around on the carpet, nearly dislodging the flowerpot.

"You did it," he said, his voice hushed. He buried his nose in Arthur's hair, laughing all the while. "You did it!"

"Alf-Prince Alfred," Arthur said quickly, knowing that the cameras could probably pick up on their celebration. " _We_ did it together. I couldn't have done it without you."

"I don't believe in that," Alfred sang quietly. "I wanna spin you around more, but I don't think we have much time until the sun sets. So-"

"Can I...see you?" Arthur blurted, beginning to walk back to the tent for a waiting Jack Yao. "I mean…when we get to the palace. The gardens, maybe?"

"You might be too cold," Alfred said breathlessly. "Maybe the library – or your room? No, I need you to rest after today. I'll see you in your room as soon as I can get away."

"All right…it's a date," Arthur said, letting their fingers interlock for another heartbeat before he made his way back to the tent.

He closed his eyes for a moment, then came back to a loud cheer from both Emma and Alfonso, to his surprise.

"That was _amazing_!" Alfonso shouted, hugging him tightly. "It just went _POOF_ and it almost exploded with flowers!"

"Ah…" Arthur said, blushing, but Emma followed up almost immediately.

"You were great, he's right," she smiled a little wistfully. "I'm not sure how I can live up to that now."

"No, Emma, I'm sure that you'll-"

He never got to finish his sentence.

* * *

"Get down!" Emma screamed, pushing away a chair and pelting out of the tent, leaving the two of them extremely confused.

"Hey, Emma, wait!" Alfonso shouted, Arthur following him as they both ran out of the tent. "What do you mean by-"

"They're here! I can tell, they're somewhere around here," she panted, tossing her hair out of the fringe as she ran up to the middle of the marquee, her eyes full of terror. "Can't you…can't you tell the disturbance in the distance?"

"Lady Emma, I'm not sure who you mean," Yao was saying, very confused. "Who do you mean by disturbance?"

"The…the…" Emma said, catching the sight of Matthew running down the steps, his face also taut with panic. She could also see the advisors muttering among themselves, but she didn't pay this any attention.

"The rebels, Your Highness," she panted. "They're here."

* * *

me, running away from mocks and responsibilities: OKAY, THIS CHAPTER, I'M GETTING TO YOU

this chapter, waving on top of a turret: _think of the reviews!_

me: aight fam

* * *

 _overworldly_ \- thanks! i was actually a little iffy about the magic attributes for alfonso and emma. for some reason, i felt that arthur's was always going to be power lol. i tried to base their attributes on their true personalities (at least, in this fic.) and i accept your power. thank u

 _russia says hello_ \- i think my days of being a potterhead have caught up with me haha. thank you (and i think he's always making an impression)!

 _pastaaddict_ \- now i'm imagining a cheer squad (is that what you call it?)

 _mi-chan kizanami_ \- funny thing is, that was my original plan. oops

\- hm, it would definitely be more controlled than what happened at emil's (im actually surprised anyone still remembers that lol.) since alfred's there to assist, but yes, i would imagine. i'm starting to think of a plot idea for an eventual sequel, so please stay tuned!

 _hearthorse11_ \- ayyy lmao. the group is rlly small so i think we're nearing to the end! will keep the sequel idea in mind (also same i can relate bro)

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	69. Trials (III)

,,,hello

 **this fic will be put on a little break. i have mocks in three days and so will be very strenously preparing. i have been laying off studies for a bit to update tonight - and it was twenty minutes for a little tweaking AND to write the last scene. please understand!**

* * *

 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**_

* * *

Matthew ran over, his face streaked with panic as he approached the confused Jack.

"Matthew…is this true?" Yao said, turning his alarmed gaze to him. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I can sense their magic in the air," Matthew said tersely. "I thought that they could have started using a nullifier. It must have ran out of energy, so that suggests a large pack. I've notified Alfred already, he's up there with the advisors-"

"Not anymore," Alfred said, quickly sweeping into his brother's side. "What do we do?"

"Protect the Elite, for starters." Matthew said, holding onto Emma's shoulder. "Yao, can you secure Sir Alfonso? I'm sure Alfred will make sure Sir Arthur will be safe."

"Yes, I'll go fetch him this instant." Yao said, Alfred following suit.

* * *

"Alfred, what's…what's happened?" Arthur blurted, facing his expression of terror. "Did something happen?"

Obviously, there had been something horrible that had just happened, due to the racket of the advisors, the assembling of the soldiers, and the way Alfonso had followed Jack Yao so urgently.

"Rebels," Alfred said. "I need to get you somewhere safe."

"But what about you? If I go mad again-"

"Then you _can't_ leave my side," he said, pulling him close but almost shouting through the racket. "If they try to get to you, they're going to have to go through me first."

"But Alfred, you're being irrational!" Arthur exclaimed indignantly. "You're the prince!"

"Prince or no prince, I don't care," Alfred said rashly, tugging him to the side and facing him. "I won't let them hurt you."

Arthur fell silent as the two of them ran down a hallway that seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"Alfred, where are we going? I thought we didn't know what was in the venue?"

"The advisors did a final choice. I don't know, but...I can detect some sort of magical energy. I need to get you to a safe room, so I'm not really thinking now." Alfred panted, before Arthur pulled on his arm tighter.

"Alfred! Don't you think this is all odd? You said it was going to be a completely unknown location, but the advisors said that-

"Arthur," Alfred sighed, running a hand through his hair before urging him forward, "I couldn't care less if they fell into the hands of the rebels now. What I need is you to be safe. We'll talk later tonight, I'll come pick you up when all of this is done, yeah?" he said, placing him next to a door. He hesitated for a moment before raising his hand, almost as if he were to generate a lever.

"Alfred! I'm not leaving you alone. I'll fight the rebels-"

"Please, don't." The voice was eerily close.

All the blood from Arthur's face rushed to his stomach.

"Get behind me. Now!" Alfred shouted, instinctively pushing Arthur behind him to use his body as a shield between him and the voice. "Generate a lever and get yourself in there-"

"There is no need, Your Highness."

And then, suddenly, a person appeared in front of their sight, wearing nothing except black and a deep red scarf fastened tightly around her neck, drowning out her luxurious, dark brown curls.

A Joker rebel.

* * *

"What do you want with us!" Alfred said, his expression melding into anger.

"Simply put it, Prince Alfred, we do not want any trouble," she said, her gaze sliding over to the mess of pins on Alfred's lapel.

"I am the leader of the Joker rebels, and I would like to ask you to come up to the ground to speak with us." Her voice was lilting with a dry, crackling edge, reminding Arthur of someone whom he used to know…

"Then why have you staged an attack on us? We were perfectly calm with you. Why attack innocent civilians?"

"Your Highness, if we were attacking you, they certainly wouldn't have sent the leader to the mercy of probably one of the most powerful people in all of Cards, let alone an Elite," the rebel said, acknowledging Arthur. "Now please, let us talk. Three hundred of our men don't have much time."

"What do you mean-" Alfred began to splutter, but she was already leading the way.

"What should we do?" he whispered back to Arthur, who had reluctantly (not that he'd tell him or anything) untangled himself from his hold. "I mean…"

"She does have a point," Arthur said slowly. "I say we follow her, but keep your amplifier ready in case."

"Stay with me anyway," Alfred said in a deep tone, trying to keep his voice discreet. "Don't leave my sight in case we need to make a quick escape."

Arthur took Alfred's hand once again, and they went up the path that they had torn up only a few minutes before.

* * *

"We've found them, Your Highness," the woman spoke, stepping aside to reveal Alfred and Arthur, still attached. They jumped apart almost immediately, their cheeks tinting with scarlet. "Do you need more proof now that we mean no harm?"

"Very well," Yao said, his voice stoic, but still tinted with a hint of relief as he watched Alfred deliver Arthur to the rest of the Elite and then stand next to Matthew as soon as he checked on all three of them. "What is your motive for passing through like this?"

"Simply because it's the fastest way to Hearts," she said, her brown eyes still calm. A small group of strong looking, well equipped soldiers stood behind her, but Arthur could glimpse a much larger mass of men. They looked tired, and some of them were slumped over each other in exhaustion, wounds all over them.

"What are you intending to do in Hearts?" Yao continued, his voice still laced with hostility. "They, are in fact, our close allies, so if you even think about launching an attack-"

"No, no, Jack Yao, we are simply returning some soldiers home from the Easterns," she persisted, sounding a little frustrated. "Which is what I meant by an urgency."

"Sorry?" he said, confusion now lacing his tone. "From the…Easterns?"

"I would elaborate more, but that would place my fellows at risk. But if I were to share sensitive information to gain my trust, it is because I have a son at stake."

Arthur's eyes widened from where he was behind a group of soldiers, but for some odd reason he felt her gaze directed at him.

 _But it can't be,_ Arthur argued to himself, as soon as the thought had sprung up in his mind. _There isn't any way Heracles is still alive, he's gone to the Easterns and everyone knows that it's certain death. And that was months ago, if he was still writing Kiku would have told me!_

 _But it all makes sense_ , the little voice came chiming back. _He even looks like her, sounds like her. Kiku and you never met his mother, if she was a rebel then it would be difficult to associate with her. Perhaps she's telling the truth._

"Your son? Is that why you are trespassing on our territory?"

"Him, and three hundred others who will die if they don't receive appropriate treatment in a country that will take them in. A good hundred have already perished to the cold alone. A general took the other half, and he was from Hearts. He had no idea we were of the Jokers."

"Is that all you desire?" Yao asked, taking one step further towards the leader.

"Your Highness, you could not possibly-" An advisor said, rushing forward to stop him, but he dismissed her with a brush of his hand.

"We'll send a scouting party to accompany them across the Hearts border, and no further. We'll escort the rest of the Elite and the princes back to the castle. I'll personally accompany the scouting party to make sure that they don't start anything as soon as they're on the Hearts territory." Yao said, barking out orders.

"You, in the meantime," he said, facing the harried advisor. "You will notify that a rebel group, bringing in injured troops, will be approaching the Hearts border from the left. Matthew, please assign your main advisor to supervise."

"Noted, Jack Yao," Matthew said, bowing once and then running up the observation deck, probably to fetch Carlos.

"Finally, I will be requiring that nullifier," Yao said, his hand already outstretched.

"But-" the leader protested, seeming to hesitate for the first time that day, but the Jack held firm.

"Either I allow Hearts to continue to believe that you are a threat by not telling that you are simply returning injured soldiers back to their kingdom."

"Your Highness, this will surely mean more than half of their deaths if they are not equipped with adequate care," she argued, but she had already reached into her scarf and was pulling out a small necklace adorned with a songbird like shape hanging from the end.

"I do not know your intention after you have sent those soldiers home." Yao said firmly. "If I allow you to travel undercover and then consequently do something dangerous, that burden will fall upon the rest of Cards. You are still noted as a hostile organization, if I allow you to operate as you are, consequences will fall upon Spades, not your group as it stands."

She stood still, long curls tumbling over her face, suddenly looking years younger. She pulled off her scarlet scarf with a forceful tug, tying it around her waist as she clasped her fist around the nullifier, thrusting it out to the Jack.

"For my son," she said, her voice stony. "And the lives of his other men."

Yao enclosed it coolly, his hand instantly winding up with magic, blue as dark as the night, melting the little piece before it was nothing but cold, molten gold.

"I would ask where you got this from, but it's very obvious where you did," he said, treading over it forcefully as he stepped back, satisfied. "So. Be warned, rebel. Digging through Diamonds' trash pile of rejected amplifiers won't get you anywhere."

"I am a _Joker_ ," she hissed, eyes narrowing to slits. "And it would be foolish of you to think otherwise."

"Last time I thought otherwise," Yao said coldly, "I felt a full lashing against my back for my insolence. Go swiftly. Now."

* * *

"Lady Emma, there's no need to worry. We've already seen enough of you to confirm the results, there's just the matter of safety."

"All right," Emma said shakily, her spoon falling onto her bowl with a loud splash that made her wince. "I…I want to talk to Prince Alfred."

"Is there a reason why?" Yao asked, his voice terse and quiet. Alfonso and Arthur were paying attention now, all thoughts of dinner and the attack (attack?) going out of their heads.

"Yes, but I'd prefer to not say," she said, squirming. "It's private."

Yao raised an elegant eyebrow, but didn't push the matter. "Very well. Just finish your dinner, and then I'll notify the prince. Sir Alfonso and Sir Arthur, however, I must ask you to retire to your rooms for tonight. With the security breach and whatnot, I'll be contacting your families if needed."

"Yes, Jack Yao," they both said.

They quietly finished their meals and walked back to their rooms together, stopping by Alfonso's room first.

"…Arthur." he said quietly, before the other boy turned to go.

"Yes?"

"…whatever happens tomorrow with Emma, we stay friends. No dirty tactics or such. If she does want to stay, can you keep an eye out for her? I'll do it, too."

"O…of course." Arthur said, dipping his head a little. "Stay safe, Alfonso. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow, Arthur. Have a good sleep!"

* * *

Arthur let out an exhale, drumming his fingers on the top of his desk. Of course, the first thing on his mind as soon as they had been rushed back to the palace was about Kiku and the leader's son possibly being Heracles, but it wasn't after his shower that he was able to even sit down.

"Sir Arthur, are you sure you don't need me to stay here?"

"Anna, it's fine, completely," Arthur said, nodding. "Please, go sleep earlier tonight."

"But the protocol said-" she protested, straightening her cap.

"I'd rather you be a healthier and happier maid than anything. I know that it's protocol, but it doesn't say anything about staying in my room."

"At least let me stay out here until you're asleep. You're not changing my mind about this," she said firmly. "And I'll give you a knock when the prince comes back."

"It's an if – and only if you're comfortable with it," Arthur said, letting a hint of a smile make a way on his face.

She gave him a wink, squeezing on his shoulders as Christian would have done back when he was a child. "Hey. It's _going_ to be a when, and I'm more than comfortable with looking after you. Don't know what would happen to you if you couldn't do the laundry – and also, _when_ are we going to get that dress fitted with you?"

"Sorry?" Arthur asked, completely confused. In all his haste, he had completely forgotten.

"Come on, Sir Arthur, you mustn't have forgotten," she said, laughing in such a way that he felt more reassured than ever. "I'm snagging you a dress to impress the prince when he comes to visit the next time, aight?"

"I thought you were joking!" Arthur blurted, completely embarrassed, but she had ruffled his hair and was walking out of the room.

"Of course, anything for my liege. I'll yell when he's here!"

* * *

And so that was how he had found himself alone in his room, staring at the piece of blank paper that he was supposed to turn into a good letter to Kiku before bedtime, and if Alfred truly was going to turn up, he'd better do it soon!

 _Dear Kiku,_ he began, but then quickly stopped.

"How exactly do I break it to you that I think Heracles is still alive?" he muttered to himself, pausing to look at the night sky.

Sunset was quickly falling amongst the Spades kingdom, and as always Arthur trooped out to the balcony to watch the sky, pausing to fetch Alfred's jacket. Surely, even though Hearts was so far from Spades, Kiku was thinking about him, too?

"I bet your Deciding's over, Your Highness," he said wistfully to himself, hugging Alfred's jacket closer. It still smelled of him, however faded, and it just made his heart beat that little bit faster.

Who knows what would happen? Perhaps it would be over before Christmas, or it would be well over the New Years before Alfred sent him home? Secretly, he had been wishing to celebrate both holidays with him and Alfonso and Emma, but with Emma in such a precarious state after her brother and then detecting the rebels, he decided it was out of the question.

 _Dear Kiku - or is it Queen Kiku now?_

 _How have you been, my friend? I'm sorry that I haven't been able to send you any post recently, I still have your letter from before but I might reply to that later._

 _You might have seen the Trials – I wonder if you have had time to watch them, but something very peculiar happened afterwards that was cut off. I know that hopefully several sources have notified you that the Joker rebels have skirted around the Diamonds border for a good month or two, but today we saw them._

 _They were in a tiny pack of people, but what really struck me is the leader. She had brown hair – it was curled in little ringlets at the bottom, but it wasn't just any shade. I thought that she seemed familiar, but it wasn't until I saw her eyes and heard her voice that I knew something was up._

 _I think she's related to Heracles. If not his mother._

 _I know, it sounds insane. But those eyes are as green as his, and she even sounds a lot like him – not as lilting, no, but there is the same dry edge we used to hear._

 _I mean, that alone would have been terrifying, but then she started talking about something. Her son, rescued from the Easterns._

 _That is when I managed to get notice of all the people behind her – there were a small group of able looking people, but a larger group of weaker people. Some were slumped over each other, and one of them was bandaged so badly that he was more gauze than man. Some weren't even moving without the help of another._

 _And I felt in that moment, that you should know about it…_

 _I apologize if this opens up some old wounds. I do not know of Heracles' fate, ultimately, since I did not get a chance to see or go within. Nor did I get the chance to ask._

 _I wish only happiness for you, my friend._

 _Please write back soon with news._

 _Yours truly,_

 _Arthur_

* * *

"Hey, nice view out here," Alfred murmured, his arm encircling Arthur's waist as the other held onto the balcony and stared out onto the kingdom.

"Indeed." Arthur said wistfully, one hand reaching backwards to bring his head forward to rest on his shoulder, running his hand against the soft golden strands. "Would have been better if you didn't decide to jump me."

" _Someone_ was too invested in his letter to take notice of me," Alfred said, tilting his head a little and brushing his lips against Arthur's ear softly, eliciting a shiver. "An' that's jus' not good, darlin'."

"When will you stuff it with that accent?!" Arthur huffed, but didn't seem to mind it too much as Alfred's hands snaked into his bomber jacket to pull him closer. "You with all your cuddling nonsense."

"Hm. Still like it when you wear my stuff, though," Alfred said, sounding like a grumpy puppy. "Actually, I was gonna ask where it was."

"It still smells of you," Arthur admitted, "…idiot."

Alfred grinned, resting his head on his shoulder to look at the indigo night sky that was Spades.

"I miss riding with your horse." Arthur said after a while. "And little Hero romping around your feet."

"First time we've had alone and my pets upstage me!?" Alfred blurted as Arthur laughed, turning around in his grip so that his hands rested on his chest rather than his balcony.

"I miss your puppy, although you're a big one yourself. And it's probably too cold for Butterscotch to go out, yes? Maybe if we can find a day, we could go down and look after the stables." Arthur said.

"Sounds good. Maybe," Alfred said, his hands coming up to rest at Arthur's forearms, pulling him even closer. "Maybe. There's a lotta maybes hanging in the air right now. Christmas. The Deciding, the rebels, Emma…"

 _I'll pretend I didn't hear that, for her sake,_ Arthur decided as he met the other's eyes. "Well. I hope that there isn't as much of a maybe with me. I hope you know that."

Alfred's eyes met his for a moment, his eyes brimming with emotion before his hands slid up his forearms and buried themselves in his shaggy hair, tilting his mouth slightly open. Arthur flushed immediately – was he really going in for a kiss? – but he let his eyes flutter shut before holding onto the lower part of his wrists and letting Alfred touch him yet again, ignoring the press of his glasses against his face as he kissed him with all the fervour he could muster.

It felt like Alfred was hungry for him, his hands seguing up into his hair like Arthur had done so many times, pushing him against the railing of the balcony as Arthur parted his mouth and let Alfred explore him restlessly, the sensation invading every single sense that he possessed. Alfred's heartbeat against his back, stitched unevenly with lashes that were taken for them, for _him_ , the way that he kissed so fervently that he had to pull back for breath, panting as he rested his forehead against his.

"Arthur," he breathed, his glasses fogging up as he let their mouths timidly brush before Arthur's arms went around his waist again. "I…I just…so hopeful…"

"I know," Arthur said, his fingers delving deeper under his suit as he continued to kiss him ever so sweetly. "I know, dearest."

 _I love you_ , he said internally. _I want to say it so badly. I really do. But you have to let me first._

"I'm sorry she got so close," Alfred said, scrunching his nose in such a way that Arthur found very cute.

"No, you should be sorry for throwing yourself in front of her," Arthur said firmly, cupping Alfred's cheeks. "Don't you ever do that ever again, especially for me."

Alfred blushed, looking away, and Arthur gave a little _tch_ of distaste, pressing his forehead to his. (He tried his best to forget how cold Alfred's glasses were.)

"I _mean_ it." Arthur grumbled, kissing his nose. "Don't ever put yourself away from me – and look _at_ me, not away!"

"I don't want to think of a future where you're hurt," Alfred said.

"Idiot, what do you mean? It's not like-"

"Don't wanna think about it," he mumbled into Arthur's chest. "I would hate myself for the rest of my life."

"Alfred, you know I'm not worth it-"

"Telling you that 'cha are. I mean, take this sky for example – of course Spades is really smokin' hot, but-"

"Way to ruin the atmosphere, you…"

"Aw, come on, give some space to a flustered, lovestruck teen!" Alfred moaned, his eyes giving Arthur that dopey look that he couldn't resist - _and lovestruck?! What was that idiot saying, not like he felt the same lovesickness or anything of the sort, but –_ "I'm just saying, even simple things like looking into the stars and not smelling your hair every other morning wouldn't be fun at all."

"…yes." Arthur said, turning his face aside for a moment to exhale, leaving a little cloud in its wake. "I suppose I can't be around a horse or read heroic stories without thinking of you."

"Arthur, I…" he blurted, biting his lip.

And it was there, in the cold December night, that Arthur thought – _is he going to tell me that he loves me?_

 _Because, I do, too._

"Alfred," he said slowly, "I l-"

* * *

 _ **;)**_

* * *

 ** _replies_**

 _pastaaddict_ \- perhaps there should be a cheer squad for him? anna would lead, of course!

 _mi-chan_ \- haha thank you! the description was really the hardest part of last chapter, so i'm glad it turned out so well.

 _russia says hello_ \- i would be tempted to offer you a job after that lol. thank your fairy for me - ask them to grant me luck for the exams as well!

\- i felt that it would be fun to mix up the order to trip you up - and there's a reason why i put her last but shh. and yep, pretty compatible if you ask me. omg nice - it was kind of a last minute addition to tie that in, so i'm glad.

 _hearthorse11_ \- hey that's OK!i understand, please don't ever feel like you have to rushwith these things. and i think a certain friend of mine has really influenced you...

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	70. By Your Side

me: hey it's april fools let's do something special for my fic-

time, the social construct: no

* * *

happy april fools, everyone! i'm back.

no but seriously i am. exams are over, had a surprisingly good day yesterday, and _bleurghed_ out 3,500 words before i even looked at my screen. ono.

also - no, we're not in spades this chapter. i'm not that nice ;)

 **finally we're at 70 chapters. myself you have no life**

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

 _Hearts._

 _20_ _th_ _of December._

"Your Highness, we've intercepted a message for you."

Kiku rubbed his eyes and sat up in his new, spacious bed, reaching for his wire – rimmed glasses before sitting up to face one of his new butlers.

Ludwig and Feliciano had insisted on him taking on some more attendants – first a new maid, then a new butler who had better dress sense than Kiku ever would. Even before he had woken up, the room was spotless and his maid had a plate of food on the table with a 'Queen Kiku'.

It was intimidating, to say the least.

"Where, um, is it from?" he asked groggily, sliding on his glasses as his other maid fetched a bowl of cornflakes and a spoon.

"Spades, Your Highness," his butler said, leaning into his jacket and fishing out a white envelope. "It lists your name, but not the recipient – do I need to take it away or not?"

"No, please do not," Kiku said quickly, reaching out for the envelope and pausing as it was placed squarely on his hand. "And Ella, please place the cornflakes on the table, I will get to them soon. You are excused for the day."

The two of them scuttled out, and Kiku relaxed with a sigh, staring hard at the envelope.

Arthur hadn't written for a while, had he?

It had been so long since – with the Trials and everything that the three of them had eagerly watched the night prior. Well, of course he had said three, but Ludwig had balanced paperwork onto his left knee and only looked up occasionally or when Feli squealed in excitement.

Kiku had brought a thin stack of paper, but this was to take notes, not work, at least as diligently as his King did. Mostly, until Arthur, tense and worrying, had arrived on his screen for the first time. Feliciano had dropped remarks about 'Kiku's friend', and Ludwig noting something about how 'ah, that's who Alfred's been writing to me about,' but Kiku's focus was all on him, mouth pursued tightly and watching his every move.

Like how he had in the holding facility, he assumed roughly the same stance, although his expression was a lot more different than the child who raced to compete with Kiku while the rest of the class struggled. He seemed like he wanted to do this for someone else that wasn't himself or Kiku, and it changed his stance, the type of magic that flowed out of his hands. Whereas it had been a pale, mint green to match the cocoa of Kiku's, it glowed an azure now.

It was clear that his best friend was in Spades for a more important reason.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed his fingers underneath the paper flap, until all of a sudden; he heard a commotion outside his door.

Quickly abandoning Arthur's letter and shuffling to the door, forgetting his slippers in his haste, he was perplexed to see Ella again.

"Ella?"

"Milord, we must get you prepared for the practice coronation," she said, bowing once. "It is taking place next week, after all."

"Ah, ah, yes," Kiku said, knocking a fist against his head. In all his thoughts and new responsibilities, he had completely forgotten the official finalization of his duties.

She ushered him to change, and he let his mind fade back into his work stupor.

He was a queen of a country now; there was no time to left to be dillydallying about other things.

* * *

"Good morning, Kiku!" Feliciano chirruped as soon as he entered. Kiku bowed to him, one of the customs that he refused to get rid of, and patted the Jack's shoulder, the warm velvet of his gloves meshing with the fur cape he had hung on his shoulders because of the cold. Ludwig had helped him to try to subdue Feliciano's excitable hugs that became harder with every passing day.

"Good morning, Feli," he said warmly, his eyes then drifting onto the quite prominent bump that had been part of him for five months now. "How was your sleep?"

"Better, but it was a little cold," came the reply. "Lud refused to come to bed early."

"Good morning, Kiku," Ludwig said, easing into the conversation. "I trust that your rest was sufficient?"

"Yes, Your Highness," Kiku said, trying his best to brush it off as he realized what he had said (he still couldn't shake the formality with Ludwig). To make up for it, he referenced Feli's complaint, and the king actually looked embarrassed for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Feli, I know I should be with you at a time like this, but I had to organize today's events." he said, gesturing to where two soldiers were pulling out a makeshift throne – one that Kiku knew that was of the Ace. There was a side table, draped in red velvet that held another makeshift crown, as his own was being forged as they spoke.

"That's one of Feli's drained amplifiers," Ludwig remarked, following his gaze. "We ordered it to be destroyed soon after his pregnancy was announced."

"Do the amplifiers affect pregnancy?"

"There is a story about the late Queen of Diamonds. Queen Lili's mother, but it's a tale for another day. For now, we must get you ready for the mock coronation." Ludwig said, his expression back to his serious mode. "I wish to go through the news before we have dinner."

"Your Majesty," one of the soldiers remarked as they placed the throne down and ran to the royals. "We've just received a message from the port. Spades, apparently."

"Sent by whom?" Ludwig questioned, him and Kiku exchanging glances as Feliciano waved merrily to the other soldier, who timidly waved back. "If it's the crown prince, I have no urgency."

"The Ace, Your Highness," the soldier replied. "He quoted it as impertinent."

"Wonderful," Ludwig grumbled to himself. "If you don't mind, could you fetch me a port device and get it here before the process starts at two? If Ace Matthew truly had the hindsight to send us a message, then it's not some advice begging from the crown prince." Kiku noticed he seemed a little lighter after he had remarked that.

"Noted, King Ludwig," the soldier said with a curt bow, and ran off.

"Is there…an issue with the crown prince, Your – Ludwig?" Kiku said. If there was a serious issue with the slightly elder male, he would want to contact Arthur as soon as possible.

"Hm? No, nothing of true danger." he replied, letting the smallest hint of a smile drift to the corners of his mouth. "It's just that over a decade of close friendship has taught Prince Alfred that he can practically ask any personal favour or any type of advice, however embarrassing it is, any time and anywhere."

"Ah, I see," Kiku said, relaxing.

"I know you are concerned for your friend over in Spades, but from the messages I've been receiving, he is in good hands," Ludwig said good naturedly, the two of them watching Feliciano scamper over to the table and carefully inspect the mock crown. "You do not know how many late night declarations of love that poor Feli has heard and burst into the room, teary eyed only for me to console him."

"I suppose," Kiku said, sounding amused. "Love does things to all of us, good and bad."

Ludwig turned to face him, eyes lighting with concern. Both Feli and him had been concerned for the younger's health ever since the footage of the Easterns had been brought to their attention. However, at General Antonio, a close friend of theirs, had immediately volunteered for the rescue mission that he had secretly arranged for. Ace Lovino had surprisingly insisted on going, and Ludwig had decided to fib to Feliciano about a diplomatic mission instead of a rescue operation.

"Right – ah, thank you, Harvey," he said quickly, reaching out for the mini port. "You are dismissed for the day, thank you very much."

The soldier bowed in response, lowering his eyes before bowing to Kiku as well before exiting the now vibrant room.

"Lud!" Feliciano said, his head bobbing up as Kiku almost jumped. Ludwig, very used to these sort of accidental interruptions, didn't even flinch and continued to fiddle with the contraption. "What does it say?"

"A message from the Ace," he said, not blinking as Feliciano draped an arm over his shoulder to get a better look and Kiku gingerly leaning in closer to see.

"Greetings from the royals of Spades,

From yesterday evening we encountered a spoil of Joker rebels when our Trials completed-"

"Oh no!" Feliciano cried, and Kiku pursued his lips in worry for Arthur in particular, but he continued.

"To our surprise, these were not aggressive, but instead claimed to be in collaboration with a general, whose name they did not disclose. They were carrying a small nullifier, but this has since been neutralized."

"Nullifier?" Kiku wondered out loud. "What are those?"

"They suppress magic instead of enhance it," Ludwig cut in. "Anyways, Matthew continues on to say that they're…in our lands? Since last night, at least…they claim that they have sent a party to accompany them and reassure that they mean no harm, however-"

"But the general should be Antonio," Feliciano fretted. "And if Anto was going on his rescue mission like he _said_ …"

"Then they could be returning the soldiers," Kiku concluded, hating the little lining of hope in his voice. "And thus mean no harm."

"But then how could they have gotten to the Easterns faster than our troops?"

"The Drift and their hideout are the closest to the Easterns, and we are so far from them. I would not have found this a surprise; however why would they be willing to help?"

"Please…please wait," Kiku blurted, and he gathered up the folds of his kimono that Ella had dressed him in, his heart hammering in his chest as he navigated the Hearts palace once again.

"Your Highness!" one of the soldiers called, looking panicked. "We have intel that there are several hostile forces approaching the castle perimeter..."

"Don't strike, simply deploy forces to bring them in. Wait, Kiku-"

But he had already left.

Could this be true? Could he possibly be alive?

* * *

He snatched the letter up, blasting down the stairs until he came face to face to a concerned Feliciano, who merely mentioned something about needing to sit down before he was pulled across the hallway with a strength that was remarkable from a bubbly, pregnant person, to say the least.

"I have a letter from Arthur-" Kiku began, but was ushered onto Lovino's throne and was given a severe look from the king and jack (and the three guards surrounding him) that managed to keep him quiet.

A woman with brown hair and curly ringlets framing her face strode in, looking a little worse for wear. General Antonio strode next to her, behind them a posse of men with varying degrees of wellness.

"Your Highnesses," General Antonio declared, bowing in front of the three of them. "I have fulfilled your quest in bringing back the soldiers home."

"What quest?" Feliciano cried, whipping around to face Ludwig. "I wasn't aware-"

"Jack Feliciano, please wait for me to speak," Antonio said, half pleading. "I have also, um, encountered Ace Lovino as he was returning from his diplomatic meeting, and he is with the soldiers, tending to their care."

"Thank you, General Antonio. And who are you?" Ludwig barked at the woman, but to their surprise she did not flinch but instead looked a little slighted.

"King Ludwig," she said, her tone holding a hint of defiance as she stepped forward in front of the thrones. "I am the leader of the Joker rebels."

A collective gasp rang across the room and several of the guards raised their lances in threat, but Ludwig waved them down with a firm arm.

Kiku's breath hitched. That voice…

"What is your intention here today?" he asked, facing her down. "If you have been found to cause any harm to my people…"

"Nothing of the sort," she said. "I was simply aiding in the rescue that you ordered General Antonio into."

"I have received reports," Ludwig said, "From our allies in the kingdom of Spades. They have cited you as not a threat due to your intentions alone. Do you stand by this claim?"

"Yes…Your Majesty," she bit out, the small fleet she was allowed to bring in with her agreeing. "I have done this to bring these good men home. One is including of my son. Now, they are at the back with your guards, dehydrated and most unable to stand. Several hundred of them have died, thanks to their wounds and the harsh climates of the Easterns. Would you be so cruel to deny their care after they have walked so many weary miles?"

"Of course not," he said coldly in reply. "Antonio, see to them that they are given the best immediate care back in the hospital wing…we will need to notify Dr Julianna about the new influx of patients…"

"Noted, Your Highness. I will arrange for the Ace to be looked after as well-" Antonio said, but was cut off by a commotion at the front door.

Scuffles and shouts came from the entrance as it seemed a handful of men were struggling. The woman came forward, her gaze alarmed, until the circle of guards suddenly parted to reveal a hunched over man, brown hair dangling over his perspiring face and a wrapped, bloody stump where his left arm would have been, slumped over a cane.

"Wait, what are you-" she said, panicked, running forward to shield him from the royals, but Kiku had already stood up, his eyes frozen in place.

"Kiku-" Ludwig began, but Feliciano shook his head, his expression one of shock as he looked at the man.

There, five metres in front of him, was Heracles.

* * *

"Let go of me! I don't wish to cause any harm!" he was shouting, his voice ragged and cracking after the months of hardship he had gone through. "There's just someone-"

"You'll infect your arm if you don't stand back – now the Queen's angry, oh gods," the woman said, pressing him back into the crowd, but Kiku couldn't do anything. It felt like he was rooted to the ground, his mind dragging back to that awful day in the port room.

The months spent apart, the worry he had gone through, the way Arthur had so willingly gone into Spades for him but then found something else…

It was all worth it. It was all worth it, for this moment.

"Please!" Heracles was pleading. "I don't know _why_ you decided to help me, miss, or these other men, but I just need to!"

"…" Her expression had faltered, dipped, but Kiku paid it no heed as he waved away a handful of soldiers with a _Your Highness_.

"Your Highness!" she cried, looking as vulnerable as he had seen her today. "He's simply tired, just-"

"Heracles," Kiku whispered, letting the name fall out of his mouth.

He saw him struggle to get up, heave a breath, but his face was still dithering.

Kiku's heart broke, and he bent lower, boldly brushing the woman aside and letting the guards fan out behind him.

"Don't hurt him, please," the woman gasped, coming out as if it was a sob. "He hasn't done anything-"

"Heracles," Kiku said once more, his tone deliberately gentle. "Do you remember me? It's me, Kiku."

"…Kiku," he said finally, his voice hushed and drooping as all the fight drained from him in an instant. "Kiku…isn't he in a place where it isn't cold? B-Back home. No firearms, it's not so cold, people aren't dying…I could – I could be dreaming. This can't be real."

"Heracles," Kiku said, a tone of desperation creeping into his voice. "Heracles, I'm here. You're not there, any more. Look up, please."

And he did, ever so slowly. Tightly shut eyelids opened to reveal eyes as green as moss, and a fear that he had never once felt before festered in his chest, threatening to overwhelm him as green eyes met brown.

"Ki…ku…" he stuttered, his eyes widening slowly. A trembling, slightly emaciated right hand reached out for him, letting his cane fall to the floor with a clatter.

Two of the guards closest to Kiku tensed, letting the butt of their lances lift from the ground, but he shook his head at them as he shuffled forward, in movements that were heavy but felt like he was moving through clouds.

Not hesitating, Kiku gathered the folds of his kimono, removed his gloves and knelt to gently touch Heracles's face, deterred and scarred from the war. His fingers trembled as he ran them across the bridge of his cheekbones, almost in disbelief that he was touching him, in the flesh.

Kiku's eyes watered at the sight of Heracles, his useless stump, the cane lying on the floor. But the yearning eyes were still there, the tousled brown hair with the odd curl, the marked, tanned skin. He was still himself.

"You're home," he said, his tears brimming over as Heracles nodded, his mouth parting in joy. "You're alive!"

"I don't know how," Heracles said slowly, the words coaxing themselves out of his mouth. "B-Before I fell unconscious, I thought of you. You…you were happy. That was what I needed."

"I wasn't," Kiku said, wiping the tears off his face. "Because you were in trouble. I couldn't sleep with knowing you were out there."

Heracles smiled, but he paused, letting his hair fall in front of his face. Kiku bent down, trying his best to see a snippet of his expression, but he suddenly looked back up, green eyes despairing.

"My Queen, my Kiku…please, I know you see a broken man, a poor boy torn from war, but it is all I have left to give you. I promised you, on that summer day, that I would give you all that I had left, I would give you all that I could. This is everything I am now. If you do not want me as I am, my last wish is that you will find happiness, and find someone who will love you as much as I do."

"I promised you. That will never change, wherever we are in the world," Kiku rasped, feeling tears fall down his face, hearing a soft exhale of breath before he pulled him close, finally feeling his skin, his heartbeat, his lips on his, _all of it_.

"Kiku…" came the breathless reply, and he started to laugh like he hadn't for months, finally _feeling_ again, tears flowing down his cheeks, grief and bliss mixing together in one sweet touch. Pressing his nose against his, feeling that lime gaze that seemed to ring with the notes of a thousand love songs, the smell that filled his senses after the nights spent in his arms, the days spent outside the window, watching for him. "Heracles…"

Unfortunately, Feliciano loudly sobbing into Ludwig's sleeve ruined the moment.

* * *

"Kiku, are you all right?" Ludwig asked, his expression concerned as he entered the hospital wing to see him sat next to Heracles. "I apologize for Feliciano's behaviour earlier on."

"There is no need for that, Ludwig," Kiku said, speaking quietly as to not disturb the sleeping Heracles. He was slowly running his fingers over his bandaged head in rhythmic strokes that would have sent anyone to sleep. "I understand that he was upset."

"No, he was simply too happy. He has been worried ever since…well. He went over the hospital wing not so long ago."

"Ah, I am sorry I did not notice that," he said sheepishly.

"I've noticed the way you look at him," he went on. "It reminds me of us. But I understand that you might have been very occupied." Ludwig said, more warmth in his tone revealing itself as he cast his vision to the sleeping man that held so much of Kiku's love and care. "But yes, Feli and I are very happy for his homecoming."

"…so, what is going to happen now?" the other boy said, tucking a section of his hair back. "Now that I have reunited with him. If you do enact any punishment-"

"Of course not," Ludwig said firmly, "We will not allow that. If you were married to Feli or I, there would be an issue, but as it turns out there is not. So, if you are mentally ready, we will have to proceed with the coronation as planned."

"Are you sure that I'm ready, Your – Ludwig?" Kiku blurted, his expression a canvas of astonishment. "We did not even finish the practice today…"

"No, the rest of the Primary Suit have confidence in you. Even Lovino, who does not show his emotions very well," Ludwig said, looking to the side, "Has faith in you as Hearts's Queen."

Kiku nodded, seemingly stunned by this piece of news, but then straightened his back, facing him with a royal air that he had not felt so strongly before.

"If so, well…there is one person I'd like to invite."

* * *

you all _thought_ i was going to kill him - uh...happy april fools? idk lmao

* * *

replies

 _pastaaddict_ \- he's not going away when kiku's all shojo manga for him still. lol

 _bells_ \- i think he would due to tradition if there was to be a marriage between him and al? he'd vehemently insist against it though. not saying anything...

 _vivadragnire_ \- sorry for the long wait! it's finally here, so i hope you enjoy it :)

 _overworldly_ \- *rubbing hands together evilly* they'll come soon haha. and thank you!

 _russia says hello_ \- thank your fairies for me, i got a pretty good score! i think this chapter is more kiku than arthur, excuse me for that. he'll be back!

 _mi-chan_ \- i guess being able to write cliffhangers is one of my joys of being a writer? other than getting great reviews, i like to watch my readers react to a cliffhanger lol. (and how did you know?! shhh.)

\- "screaming while dancing marimba" this is it. i'm going to frame this. this is my **legacy _._** lmao - and i'm glad you noticed the detail! i hope your brother wasn't too frightened, please send him my condolences. and thank you - i thought it was a sweet (and really cliche) way to end it with a balcony 'confession'! and emma, well...we'll see more of her next week!

 _hearthorse11_ \- ah man, i know how it feels when people think you're dating someone but you're not :V good luck with that! and that's the point, i love to hate them ;D

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	71. Counsel

OK to explain what in god's name happened and how i disappeared for two weeks, 'twas on easter break. unfortunately, the wifi i was on did not let me access FFN, and so i was left to weep (and then catch up when i flew home saturday, but thing is i came back on the dead of night yesterday at two.

so i apologise greatly for the lateness of this chapter!

okok let's just get on with it. lmao

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

 _Spades._

 _Inside a castle besieged by pouring rain, moments after._

* * *

"Are you okay?" Alfred asked, brushing his sopping wet hair off his forehead. "I'm sorry that I didn't get to hear you before, do you want to say it now?"

Arthur bit his lip and shook his head, holding tight onto Alfred's arm as they walked down the hallway.

 _Drat_ , _and it was only a moment before I was going to tell you_ , Arthur cursed himself, looking away.

Alfred's eyes faltered, and he tried his best to observe Arthur's expression. He could have sworn Arthur was trying to confess…

But maybe that was a good thing. If, at least, Arthur couldn't see his expression, then he wouldn't know how tempted he was too. He swallowed once again, his heart hammering in his chest as they walked further to his bedroom.

"I'm sorry," he said plaintively. "I was gonna…I was gonna let you, back there. Finish your sentence first, I meant. I'm guessing you were gonna say something big - and I should have done that as well."

"How did you-" Arthur blurted, but Alfred pressed on. He could practically hear the blood thrumming in his ears, his face flushed completely red.

"This…this is how the Deciding process works," he said quietly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "When – um, w-when the prince or princess feels that the time is right, they'll popose…uh, propose. And I thought I…"

"Alfred – wait," he said, his eyes narrowing in confusion. "Alfred - is that from-"

"Arthur." he whispered, "I _can't_. You know I c-can't keep on forcing you to take these few s-steps, instead of me d-doing more than m…my duty."

Arthur let out one baited breath, his heart thumping. Was he…?

Oh, wait. Wasn't that-

Fates, that _was_. Had he really?

"I can't say this in a way that can really express how I feel," Alfred continued, "But I know you doubted me. If I…I were you, I would have doubted myself as well. And I know it's been no more than two days since the Trials, but that doesn't matter to me any more. Putting this in my words, I…"

He was interrupted by a bout of (barely suppressed) laughing.

"You did _not_ ," Arthur snorted, his head leaning into the crook of his elbow. "You're not telling me you have a copy of the _Wyvern Chronicles_. Not in this palace, oh Fates…"

"Wa- _what_? How did you know?" Alfred gaped, turning even redder than he had. "Did you-"

"But there isn't a copy here, right?" Arthur said, getting up from his doubled over stance. "Please, don't tell me."

"It was…it was Feliciano..." Alfred blushed, looking away. "I was asking Ludwig for advice on how to – uh, express my feelings – and then he popped in and started talking about some books?"

"Alfred – poppet, you do realize that the book series is meant for teenage girls aged thirteen to fourteen?" Arthur laughed, wiping faint tears from his face. "Oh, dear."

"No, I didn't!" Alfred said, absolutely mortified. "I thought Feliciano…"

"Alfred!" Arthur said, cupping his face in his hands. "You don't have to spout cheesy lines from cheesy, horribly written books just to impress me. And you _know_ that."

"I, uh…" he said, rubbing the back of his neck in bashfulness. "No, I didn't."

"Well, I'm telling you now. And please remember that I fell for the real Alfred, one who doesn't maintain all social appearance and is the smoothest – pfft – the smoothest person I know, but who's funny and dorky and all around loveable."

"You promised me that there wouldn't be anything between us," Arthur said tenderly, taking a daring step forward. "I don't want there to be a mask between us, on either of us. I thought…I thought sharing myself, my true self, with you would spell doom for our relationship, but if you've stuck with me so long, I could possibly even have a chance in this whole proc – _mmph_!"

He was effectively silenced by the familiar pressure of Alfred's mouth on his, his hands curled against his broad chest as the other boy pressed him tightly against the wall, eyes firmly shut. He broke away with a pant, pursuing his lips with his fingers as he faced Arthur again.

"You're not allowed to say that," he murmured. "Not gonna let you – you know what? Every time you try to dumb yourself down, I'm gonna do that."

"But it's true!" Arthur protested, cheeks flushed. "You know you could be simply settling down for me when - !"

Alfred simply leaned down and meshed their lips together again, Arthur exhaling in surprise as he dipped his arms around his waist, lifting him up above his head as they parted before pulling him in close, so tantalizingly close that Arthur could even see the faintest of freckles scouring his cheeks.

"Settling down? Sorry, _princess,_ that's not in my vocabulary," he said, his gaze tinting with a hint of seriousness. "I know you're perfect in my eyes. And whatever stuff you say – that's millions of times better than mine, mind you - won't make me change that. Yeah?"

"One cannot help being born in eloquence," Arthur whispered teasingly, brushing their noses together. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks as he remembered how fervently he had responded on their first night on the balcony, how dizzy he had been.

How so many things had changed, now that he simply couldn't deny how much love he held for Alfred in his heart, among other things.

"You remember that," he said softly, his hands cupping Arthur's elbows in a way that made his skin feel like it heated up instantaneously, thrumming underneath the surface of his jacket. "The party, right? Hey, to be fair, I kinda thought you were pissed at me then."

"I was – and that hasn't changed much, but everything else has, anyway." he looked away, closing his eyes.

"Hey, it's rude to look away. So, don't," Alfred whispered, cupping his chin with his thumb and index finger. "Do you still remember _that_?"

"You could never make me forget," Arthur grinned. "See, I told you that you could say your own lines. Now, you're making me go soft!"

Alfred nodded sagely, letting his fingers linger on the other's chin for another moment before continuing to lead him down the hallway.

"Arthur…do you want this to end?" he said quietly, after a moment.

"…pardon?"

"I know it's my decision," he said, his tone rueful. "But, I'm sorry. I haven't really taken any steps to finishing this as much as I should have. Letting it drag on for so long looks bad on my part. As a prince, I should have done more."

"I thought we were past that," Arthur said, folding his arms and turning to face him again. "You tell me not to be so hard on myself, and then you turn around and do the same. Even with all these things attached, it's still your life."

His eyes softened, and he leaned forward, pinching Alfred's nose in a playful action. "Alfred, dearest, you must promise us to end this when you feel like it's the right time. Not before, and on your own terms. Understand me?"

"Yeah. I guess."

Arthur paused, tilting his head lower before entwining his fingers with Alfred's. He bit his lip, fighting back the urge to kiss him again.

"…goodnight, Alfred," he said hesitantly.

"Goodnight, Arthur," Alfred said in return, tilting up his glasses before pulling him close with a hug, something that he managed to do better than words.

He could only hope that he couldn't feel the thumping of his heart as he walked away, longing to feel Arthur's hand against his own.

Blast the Fates, how did he manage to mess up so badly? He'd have to have a _gentle_ word with Feli later…

* * *

The next morning, Arthur's slightly bad mood was lightened a little as soon as Emma walked into the room, wearing a deep red dress that seemed more orientated for a day as an Elite than anything.

"You're all right!" Alfonso smiled, waving to her as she appeared for breakfast the next morning.

"Sorry about disappearing yesterday," Emma said in return, edging into the seat next to him. "I'll make it up to you with that theatre screening tonight – if Prince Alfred doesn't have a date with you or something."

"I mean, I don't know," he replied, nudging her shoulder. "He hasn't told me yet – oh, hey Arthur!"

Arthur, his hair as dishevelled as ever, slid into the chair next to Emma, making her the middle one in between the two boys. "Good morning, Alfonso. I'm relieved to see you're back, Emma!"

"Still as formal as usual," she sang, but it seemed a little subdued from her usual flair.

She shot a glance to where the three royals would be sat, but it seemed unusually empty. Naturally, Arthur would expect Alfred to be a bit tardy, but Yao and Matthew definitely did not find it in them to be late – at least, certainly not the Jack. Matthew as an Ace did not necessarily need to be as polished as he did, but Arthur did trust the other boy.

"Em…" Alfonso said quietly, turning back to her. "Are you sure that you'll be all right? With your…well, brother and everything, are you gonna be staying here?"

"I'm not sure what you mean," she said, her voice going a little limp. "It's not like I've forgotten about Louis. Or what happened to him. But I need to be here."

"You're sure about this, Emma?" Arthur asked, his tone slightly concerned. He didn't want to come off as rude or patronizing, but he was worried for her health. If anything had happened to Dylan, he wasn't sure that he'd be as lively as Emma was now. Of course, that wouldn't mean him leaving the competition – and Alfred, by extension – so quickly, but it would definitely give him some sleepless nights and at least multiple visits.

"I'm fine," she said, brushing a curl drooping from her headband behind her ear. "But I do miss him very much, and you shouldn't doubt that. I do miss my brother, and my parents. But Alfred has grown to become a lot more important to me, after all. Just throwing him away like this means that the whole seven months of this Deciding hasn't meant anything to me."

"No, I understand," Arthur said quietly. "My little brother – Dylan – if anything happened to him, I would suddenly think more about my duty here, not just to Alfred, but as an Elite. He's taken a place in my life I can't simply forget."

"I don't have a sibling, just Antonio." Alfonso said, fidgeting in his seat. "I can't say that I know exactly how you feel, Ems, but if he ever got hurt in Hearts I would definitely be less concentrated on the whole Deciding thing and less on him. But the thing about Alfred, I…I really agree. He's just so-"

"Sorry we're late!" he was interrupted by Matthew blustering into the room, his waistcoat buttoned until the top one. Yao was as polished as ever, but curiously missing a book or a stash of papers, and Alfred had brushed his hair – _what_ , Arthur thought internally. _Why would he have the time to brush his hair when Matthew and Jack Yao didn't? He's not the most meticulous person I know, either…_

"We've received some exciting news from Hearts this morning," Yao said, sitting into his chair as the two princes started to talk to the maids next to their seats. "Apparently the Hearts Kingdom is getting a new queen very, very quickly!"

Arthur's eyes widened – did he mean Kiku? Of course he did – he knew his friend was the most capable person he knew of being a queen, including himself, but so soon? Even before the year had ended?

"Are we invited?" Alfonso asked, his green eyes lighting with excitement.

"I'm seeing if we can take a small trip as a group," Matthew said with his quiet yet assertive fashion, lifting his glasses higher up his nose. "But since it's so close to the New Year and we expect the coronation to occur shortly before, there might not be enough space for all of us to fit in. It's expected to be a small affair. Apparently, they're not even planning on inviting other kingdoms formally, but instead of that they're considering a formal ceremony a little later in the year."

"Is that going to happen to us if there's a wedding around the New Year?" Emma said, placing down her fork almost in nervousness.

"It's up to Alfred," Matthew said, only to turn around and see his brother gulping down a glass of milk.

"Whaf?" he mumbled, and the three of them laughed, including the Jack who bit back a smile.

" _As_ we were saying, we were discussing plans about visiting Hearts. Are you interested in joining the conversation? Lady Emma put up a good point concerning the end of the Deciding," Matthew said smoothly, not too ruffled by his brother's antics. Being stuck with Prince Alfred for nineteen years really did give you an edge mentally.

"Yeah, the end of the Deciding's something I wanna chat about if that's okay," Alfred said, directly catching Arthur's gaze for a moment, making him raise his thick eyebrows in surprise. Was this to do with the talk yesterday night?

"I don't want to drag this out any longer than necessary." he began, placing down his cup of milk and hurriedly wiping off the mini moustache that had formed (Arthur found that rather charming in his dorky fashion, but would never say it out loud – he was sure that his friends did as well). "However, I'm not willing to end this Deciding until I know both of us are ready to progress onto marriage. I know not everyone here might be willing to take such a large step, but please believe in me in that I and the rest of the Primary Suit will help your transition to Elite to queen as quickly as possible."

"After the Trials, we as a Primary Suit have seen no reason to make this longer than necessary," the Jack continued. "As you all may know, the Deciding has also long been seen as a form of entertainment for the public to really get in touch and feel connected to the royal family in a different way that cannot really be executed in the same manner as other countries. But I am acutely aware that these are your lives placed on show – however, if you are truly to win the Deciding, this will have to be part of your daily life."

After that ominous announcement, the three Elite – the whole table, in fact – continued to eat their breakfasts in silence. They only started to disband when Jack Yao's plates were being collected and the others saw fit to drift away from the table.

Only Matthew and Alfred remained at the table until they were all gone, nodding to the maids as they collected the plates but left a glass of milk for each of the brothers.

"Are you sure about this, Alfred?" Matthew asked, his tone tinged with concern. "Emma…I'm not sure that she'll be very sound."

"If she wants to stay, I don't want to force her out even though I can," Alfred said tersely. "But if things get too bad, I'll have a talk with her. Also – sorry about letting you and Yao sort out Hearts today – I've planned out a chat with Lud at eight tonight. I won't be in my study…"

"Are you saying," Matthew sputtered, his face lighting up in what seemed like flames, "That you let me and Yao get up incredibly early and endure Ace Lovino's shouting for _nothing_?!"

* * *

True to his word, Alfred was down at the port room calling by eight, watching the little circles signifying his connection to Hearts as he sat on his chair.

He was happily spinning around in his swivel chair by the time Ludwig's top torso blipped onto the screen.

Ludwig was clearly situated in his study, and if his eyesight wasn't completely marred by his glasses he could catch a glimpse of Feliciano attempting to read a book in the background. He was finding it quite difficult - probably something to do with his huge bump.

Then he remembered something about the book Feli recommended him to read. Oh, Fates.

"Hey, Lud!" Alfred said cheerfully, waving boisterously at the camera. "Can ya see me?"

"Good evening, Al," came the calm reply. "I guess that you wanted to talk about your relationship again?"

"Don't need to sound so harsh, buddy," he said. "How's Gil – and hey, is that Feliciano in the background, if you don't mind?"

"Yes, and he's doing very well from what I've heard," Ludwig said, beckoning to his husband in the background, who waddled over to the screen, a little to Alfred's amusement.

"Feli…about that book you were talking about the other day-" he began, but much to the Jack's credit, he was bowled over by a series of energetic questions.

"Did you actually read it? Was he impressed? Did _he_ like it? I hope he did, I heard the maids talking about and I thought it was a good read, so I went to the bookshop and the clerk almost looked like he had a heart attack but I didn't know how that happened, but anyways I was reading it and then Ludwig was talking about how you needed some advice with your loved one since you were asking him the other night about it and then I thought maybe I could help out because we both love reading books!" Feliciano nattered on enthusiastically, his curl bouncing as his voice flew higher and higher.

"Feli, _liebling_ , you're going far too fast for anyone to understand," he said, with the most tenderness Alfred had heard he directed to anyone. "I doubt Al can pick up on any of that."

"Yeah, about that…" Alfred said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "He…Arthur reads. A lot, and apparently it's for teenage girls, at least that's what I was told."

"Oh…" Feliciano said, his expression going from lively to crestfallen. "So…so it didn't work?"

"I wouldn't say that." Alfred said. "But I guess you did help us to take a step forward."

"That's great!" Feliciano smiled, his hands now resting on his bump after he had been throwing them around all over the place – Alfred had heard that pregnancy was tiring. Feliciano was taking it very well, being so many months along.

"I suppose you want some advice now?" Ludwig said, subconsciously scooting a little closer to his husband. "I suppose, if you're considering proposal, it could be a good time."

"I dunno," Alfred said, facing the port screen with a renewed sense of purpose. "I want to make the relationship as comfortable for both sides…as much as I can."

"You _do_ know who you're gong to propose to, right?" Feliciano inquired, his eyes owlish. "I hope you're in a better place than a few weeks ago."

"So do I, Feli," Alfred said, the corners of his lips turning up in a half smile. "I hope we'll have a wedding soon enough."

"Why don't you talk with the people around them?" Ludwig thought out loud. "Perhaps, if you do want to make them feel truly comfortable accepting the roles and the duties of being your partner, you could garner some information about that and such."

"Lovi got really pissed in the letters you sent him," Feliciano laughed, patting his husband's shoulder. "I hope Al doesn't get that same treatment."

Alfred's eyebrows furrowed in thought, before he leapt up to his feet and thrust one gloved finger into the air.

"Thank you for helping the hero!" he cheered, rummaging in the lower cupboards for some paper. "I have an idea!"

Feliciano cheered, looking overjoyed, while Ludwig simply sat back and grimaced/smiled (you couldn't really tell which).

What a wedding they would have in Spades indeed, when the time came.

* * *

shiny hunting while editing the chapter is _**such**_ a bad idea lol

* * *

 _replies_

 _vivadragnire_ \- thank you! i hope you enjoy this one as well.

 _russia says hello_ \- he returns in this chapter anyway! kiku needed his seven minutes of fame, i felt like.

\- i was trying to find a way to get back there to keep their part of the plot going, haha. i hope the pillow didn't bruise you - and yes, i do think ludwig definitely gets bowled over by his husband in this way in this chapter. and yes of course, i might slap it on my computer for motivation (and it was super cliche, personally! i'm glad it worked for the most part though ;v;) emma comes back this time, though,

 _pastaaddict_ \- that's actually a good point - i'll keep that in mind for next time i have a fangirl moment!

 _mi-chan_ \- ah yes, but this is still technically the calm lol. soon enough ;)

 _hearthorse11_ \- i just called 911 (and your life is mighty interesting shh, i love to hear about it and what you think about the fic!)

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	72. Come Round

ITS 2AM WILL EDIT IN THE MORNING

gomen

* * *

Leon smoothed out his shirt, trying to ignore the crumped cheap cotton and the speck of dust that caught on his shoulder before he got up of bed.

He tiptoed as well as he could against the creak of the oak wood floor that he now stayed in, and went into the bathroom, grabbing his red flannel alongside the way. Wrapping it around his shoulders to protect himself from the cold, he closed the door behind him with his bare foot.

Gingerly pressing his hands against the thin slab of porcelain that had been laid against the slightly cracked mirror and the sink, he applied a little pressure, sighing in relief as no shocks of pain segued into his lashes and no clench of agony seized his wrists like it had when they had first moved in.

"The prince was right," he said to himself, turning on the tap and rinsing out his hands quickly before gently patting them dry instead of smothering them with the towel like he always used to do. "They are healing well enough."

Just then, a loud rustling of the sheets alerted Leon to something outside of the bathroom, and he quickly opened the door, taking care to let his flannel fall in front of his hands before he held onto the doorknob and padded outside.

"Emil?" he asked, squinting into the weak rays of the lilac dawn that was illuminating the lower Spades palace. "Emil, is there anything wrong?"

"Nnh," his fiancée complained, pulling more of the blanket over him. "Cold."

"It's almost Christmas," Leon coaxed, sliding onto the bed and stroking the huddled shape underneath the blankets. "I would be totally concerned if it _wasn't_ cold. Are you up for it today, or will I have to ask?"

"Back doesn't hurt, just cold," he responded sleepily, wrapping arms around Leon's waist. "S'too cold for you getting up so early, Leon."

"I wish I could cuddle, love," he said tenderly, rubbing the small of his back in a comforting, circular movement. "I'll feed Puffin, wash up then be back, all right? I can get breakfast if you want-"

"Too much work for your hands!" Emil protested, violet eyes bleary. "I'll feed Puffin m'self. Get some food before you go back t'work."

"You mumble when you've just woken up," Leon cooed. "Emil is _cute_!"

He let out a huff of laughter, pulling himself up by his hands and pressing a kiss to the shell of Leon's ear, tugging his warmth a little closer.

"You need a break too," he said. "Don't think 'm haven't seen you work yourself to the bone – like Prince Alfred said, those hands need to heal, and you can't continue to wear those plastic gloves all the time."

"Yes, yes," he said, but his eyes grew a little distant as they used to when he wasn't paying attention.

A pang of guilt shot through Emil's heart. They were both young, only eighteen, and here Leon was trying his best to support the two of them. Sure, they had been saved from a much worse fate by Prince Alfred, but since the cold had settled in, Leon declined to wear his ring any more since he was being called again and again to wash dishes in freezing water instead of simply cleaning, since no one else wanted to do it.

He still wasn't sure how Alfred had done it. First, he had placed them into the kitchens and working facilities at the bottom of the palace, essentially guaranteeing their legal existence. Next, he had created a support chain of some sorts – people that he trusted with safeguarding their lives. Sometimes it was Anna, Arthur's maid, or one of the ex-Chosen's maids coming to give updates or assign them work. On good days, Matthias came over, where he simply lavished them with attention. Emil grumped and Leon was cheerful, but he secretly loved them.

However on a spectacular day, not even a month after the whipping, Lukas showed up, wielding a bottle of his house brandy. It had been a good six months since he had went back to his adopted mother's bar, and he almost burst into tears at the sight of Lukas reaching into his pocket and pulling out a red satchel bag, holding two tiny promise rings with rubies melded onto them, a family heirloom.

Things had only gotten better from then on. His back had healed better, medicines from the prince himself being delivered to their small room every day. Especially in the sweltering heat of the summer, they were allowed rotating fans, which were a luxury since most rooms required them to open windows to get some wind at night since air conditioners were reserved for the higher and richer.

Leon took it in stride; as soon as his torn hands were able he pinned back those silky bangs of his behind his ears and rolled up his sleeves, working twice as hard on days where Emil's back screamed and brought handfuls of ice wrapped in handkerchiefs, nursing him back to health unrepentantly even when he was having trouble getting used to being away from the luxuries of being an Elite, and asking around the maids for the news of his friends.

So it was a jolt of fear that ran down Emil's spine when the small door leading to their cramped room was knocked on twice. Leon tucked his bangs, having lost some gloss ever since his diet had gone from having the best cuts of a chicken to having the stringy top parts amongst other things, dusted off his knees and opened the door.

A young maid, dark hair loose behind her, was waiting at the door, plate tucked in between her arm as she stood outside the door.

"Hello miss, how may I help you?" he asked, leaning a little lower. The other boy noticed him slip the sleeve of Emil's sweater to cover his hand as he reached for the doorknob.

"Ah, Prince Alfred apparently seeks your counsel," she said, placing her plate in front of her in a placating gesture. "He also tells you to bring your partner with you."

"P-Pardon?"

And with that, Emil's tranquil; cuddle – less, stress free morning was ruined.

* * *

So instead of the faded, scratchy shirt that he usually wore when scrambling around after the horse combs or vice versa, Leon found himself wearing the one remotely white shirt he'd asked Steven to help him iron instead of hauling out those loaves from the oven on Friday evening, his hand linked with Emil's as they both walked up the secret staircase together.

"I wonder why they didn't send a maid to fetch us or anything," Leon wondered out loud.

"Has something happened at the palace?" the other boy asked, sounding a little plaintive as he took in Leon's expression, stitched with worry.

"What's wrong?"

"Before I…last saw him," he began hesitantly, and Emil could feel the squeeze of fabric and his heat against his hand tighten. "Arthur wasn't having a good time with Prince Alfred at all. I was just, like, wondering if it's because he's going home today."

"He shouldn't be," Emil echoed, looking off a little. "You told me before that Alfred really does feel for him, yeah?"

"Yes, I did, but who knows what's happened since then. The maids only mentioned something about a Trials, whatever those are…but they don't tell us anything except if they're the maids of their individual Elite. And Anna hasn't visited for quite a while, especially since the Trials," he fretted.

"Look, it shouldn't be as bad as that, dear." he said, trying to change the topic. "I'll go feed Puffin later today…"

"But what if the reason Anna hasn't been visiting for a while is because Arthur's been eliminated?"

"Honestly, my father would have told us if there's been an issue with him and Alfred," Emil continued to reason. "They've known each other since practically birth…"

"Arthur loves him," he said. "I know it. But the prince has been nothing but generous and caring. Up until recently, the one thing I was worrying about was _when_ their marriage would be, and whether Alfred was a good enough husband, but now, it's a matter of _if_ …"

Emil fell silent for a moment, and there were only the clack of their severe black shoes against the marble of the floor until he gathered up the resolute to speak again.

"Leon," he said slowly. "You have to have faith in them. Without having faith, there won't be a love there. You trusted me, all the way back in October, and you still trust me, right?"

He got a nod, a slight perking up of lips.

"And no matter how much you tease me about my horrid fashion sense – that little I'll admit – I'll be here for you. I promised, that night in the library. You have to believe that they will for each other, too."

He let out a small chuckle, the sound resonating throughout the quiet stairwell.

"Thank you," he whispered. "That's totally what I needed. See, you _do_ know how I get. Even though your fashion sense I _cannot_ fix, there's something. That's why you shouldn't feel guilty."

 _Way to change the subject_ , Emil blanched, _but darn. He is right, with the whole bunch of thinking I was doing this morning before Alfred called us…_

"Just…with you working your socks off while your scars have just healed just isn't fair to you while I sleep in, as well as do less work than you. Simply relieving you of your fears isn't enough, I want to provide for you as well…"

"We don't need to worry about that now," he countered. "It's just that I want to know that you're more than enough for me. Don't need to worry, like, about me leaving you, all right? Besides, it's not like things don't change."

"Not everything changes like we did."

"Some things change," Leon said, squeezing his hand, but didn't bring it up again until they got out of the staircase to Alfred's room.

* * *

"Leon!" Arthur cried as soon as the two of them exited the hallway and met the light streaming through Alfred's vast windows.

"Arthur," Leon said excitedly, throwing his arms around his friend. "It's been so long!"

"Have you been well? You've been healing up so well – ah!" Arthur said, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Is that an engagement ring?"

"Yes, it is," Leon said, his expression changing to one of pure bliss. "We only got engaged very recently, but it's a totally wonderful feeling."

Meanwhile as the two boys were catching up, Alfred got up from his blue armchair situated in the corner, and placed a firm hand on Emil's shoulder, making him jump a little.

"Your Highness," he said quickly, trying his best to regain his cool composure. He resorted to doing a little bow and subconsciously waiting for a twinge from his back, which never came. "It is such a wonderful surprise to be called, Leon and I are-"

"Hey, Emil," he said with the same cheerful expression, albeit a little diluted compared to before. "There's no need for that talk. How are you, Leon?"

"Doing as well as I can, Your Highness," Leon replied, his arm already slung around an ecstatic Arthur's shoulder. "I hope that both you and Arthur are doing well?"

"Yeah, about that…" Alfred replied, his eyes softening as they met Arthur's gaze. "Arthur, sugar, do you mind stepping out for a moment? There's something private I want to discuss with Emil and Leon both…"

Arthur's green eyes faltered for a moment, but he nodded, bringing Leon back to his fiancée.

"I'll see you at dinner, I presume?" he spoke, and Alfred nodded, his gaze intense with an emotion Arthur couldn't describe as he knelt a little and pressed a tender kiss to his hand.

"I'll see ya there," he murmured, and Leon noticed a slight red tinge on Arthur's cheeks as he let his fingertips linger against the prince's before he closed the door.

"Right, well, I can see your point about not having to worry about them," Leon remarked as Alfred turned back to them.

"Wait, did you mean you were talking about us before you came here?" Alfred spluttered, turning flustered in a millisecond.

* * *

"Well, to be fair we still don't get why you needed Arthur to go…" Emil trailed off, sounding embarrassed. He supposed that he'd have to forget his composed façade for now, because it was clearly not working…

"It's okay," Leon said, smiling at his cuteness. "It's pretty obvious to me that the prince wants to propose to my best friend,"

Alfred blushed immediately, looking away before nodding down at the floor.

Emil suddenly felt a lot less self conscious, and wrapped his arm around Leon's waist, pulling him a little closer. He caught sight of his ring shining on his finger and couldn't help but smile a little.

So he would be right after all.

"I…I'm not very sure how to do it exactly," Alfred said ruefully, rubbing the back of his neck. "But I don't want to disappoint him. I also don't want anything that'll make him scared, or something too much, and nothing with a goat since something happened with my great grandfather when it was his turn…"

"A goat?" Leon spluttered - sounding horrified. "You are totally not telling me about that. Fates, I don't want to _think_ about that!"

"So what you're saying," Emil said, "Is that you want us to help with proposing to Arthur?"

"Yeah, that's about it. Sorry if I distressed you, Leon, it's just that I wanted to make it perfect. Uh, have you heard anything about how Matthias got engaged?"

"He always whined about how my mother figure – er, Lukas – not telling him what sort of jewel he wanted on his ring," Emil mused, recalling back to the stories that his father would tell about his other father (but of course, he couldn't say that to the prince). "But he told me when Matthias wasn't home that he loved the ring, but he would love it regardless."

"Why?"

"Because it was Matthias that gave it to him," Emil said. "It didn't really matter what he did. Lukas also really liked the sailboat that they had gone on when he proposed, but I think that the person meant a lot more."

"…" Alfred seemed to be in deep thought, now fiddling with his tie, but Emil could tell how fond he was of his father by the way he grinned and his eyes relaxed. "Hey, Matthias never really told me much about that, but that's really sweet."

"I think we could tell you how we got engaged, if that's all right," Leon said, meeting Emil's eyes. "You okay with me telling him?"

"Just don't insist I was cute," he protested, but hid a smile anyway.

" _Right_ , so starting from that I totally knew Emil was the cutest person from that moment," he laughed. "But no, it wasn't anything large or anything. But it was so cold, and the two of us were just discreetly walking around grounds. And I was shivering, since I wasn't used to the cold…"

"I'm never going to hear the end of this…"

"And he asked me whether he, and a marriage could keep me warm for the rest of time. And then I just ploughed him into the snow."

"He…he means it," Emil amended, trying his best to hide his blush. "Nearly soaked my sweater as well…but he was worth it."

"How am I gonna top that?" Alfred groaned, but he could see a tint in his eyes that he used to see in himself.

The nights where the times he spent with Leon in his arms were still forbidden. Nights after a shift where he'd catch himself with that jealous tinge after catching a sight of Leon with the prince. Nights dreaming of Leon looking back at him with something more than a friendly smile on his face…

"Just show Arthur you love him," Emil said. "I think that's all you really need."

"Don't hold back either," Leon said, his tone a little more serious. "If you don't, like, give all of yourself in that proposal, then it's not nearly as meaningful."

* * *

"What did he say?"

"Like, nothing really that important," Leon said, but his beam contradicted what he was saying. "But he said a lot of sweet stuff."

"I hope that doesn't mean sweets," Arthur said, but Leon could tell how his eyes softened and he looked shy.

"I know how you adore him so," he said, reaching out to touch his hand. "Thank the Fates you've stopped holding back."

"At least he seems to be fine with it so far," Arthur said. "I hope he doesn't get upset with me any time soon…"

"From what I can tell, he definitely feels the opposite."

"But…" Arthur said hesitantly, "Did he tell you what he feels for me – exactly?"

"Well," Leon said, his tone evasively. _I mean, I can't spill now. For all Prince Alfred's done, I can't ruin his proposal. And Arthur…well, I still want to make him surprised._

 _Also, I also can't boast that I knew at his wedding_. _Drat._

"Not exactly, but I know he totally loves you. Emil and I do," he said reassuringly.

Arthur nodded, still deep in thought by the way his hands fiddled in his lap.

"It's getting late, isn't it? Prince Alfred said nine as the latest," Leon trailed off, looking against the window.

"Hm? Ah, yes," Arthur jolted, jumping to his feet. "Just let me snag my jacket and we'll be on our way."

 _Very soon,_ Leon reminded himself. _Very, very soon._


	73. Awakening

my writing schedule = procrastinate all day then write at 2am

which is why i'm up again fml (also, history paper but that doesn't really count)

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

 _ **disclaimer for slight NSFW in the first scene.**_

* * *

 _"_ _Alfred."_

 _He woke up, his eyes laden down with sleep, but they shot open as soon as he took in his view._

 _Still in his bedroom, the sky had darkened back to the night, and he could faintly make out stars – that strangely held an almost_ _ **green**_ _tinge towards them._

 _Was it just because he was asleep, or was this a dream?_

 _The room was permeated with the smell of roses…_

 _"_ _Alfred," the voice came again, sweeter and softer this time. Alfred's head jerked back to the front of the bed where he was currently sitting on._

 _Arthur, clothed in a sheer blue nightshirt and short pants that exposed pale, creamy legs, was standing on the end of his bed, looking nervous._

 _"_ _Uh, hey, Arthur," he said, his heart thudding in his chest. "What's up-"_

 _"_ _I can't sleep," he mumbled, and then all of a sudden he was in a heap on Alfred's bed, crawling over to him in a fashion that was much more seductive than he was used to with Arthur. Those hips were…swaying, his eyes were half lidded, and he had a blush on his face as he moved, his arms stopping right where Alfred's knees were hoisted in the blanket._

 _"_ _W-whaf?" Alfred stuttered, his face practically on fire. For once, he thought that he might be blushing harder than Arthur._

 _"_ _I've missed you," he whispered, now pressing his lips, feeling as soft as petals, to his hair. "So, so much."_

 _"…"_ _he would have said something in that moment, but he was so tongue tied that he only lurched back. Wasn't this wrong – Arthur like this, like_ _ **this**_ _…_

 _"_ _Alfred," he mewled, a sound that was foreign to his ears but awakened something inside. He felt a flush all over his skin, making him tingle and building a certain pressure, pulling his boxers tight and more and more uncomfortable._

 _"_ _A...Arthur," he gulped. When Arthur tilted his head just so, the moonlight caught on the lily white of his neck, revealing a sheen of sweat that made his heart threaten to jump out of his chest and do a jig._

 _Arthur's thin fingers tucked themselves into his onesie, and Alfred felt absolutely mortified. Here Arthur was, kissing him so gently and behaving so sensually, clothed in a thin shirt and smoking hot shorts, and he was wearing some bear onesie? He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing, awaiting his next move._

 _Arthur looked up, jade eyes shining with desire, and started to slowly remove his outfit, raising a thick eyebrow as he realized the outfit was one piece._

 _"_ _Uh, I'm-" Alfred said, his voice petering out halfway, but Arthur simply smiled and laid his mouth firmly against his, hands tugging at his hair, effectively silencing him._

 _"_ _Hush, love," he whispered against his lips, shifting so that he was pressing completely into him. "It's more than fine for me."_

 _Brushing away the brown fabric of his nightwear, he unbuttoned Alfred's white undershirt and tantalizingly removed it, laying kisses on his neck and curling his fists against his bare chest._

 _"_ _Arthur," Alfred breathed, his hands shifting to those luscious hips as he bit his lip and leaned a little higher, catching his earlobe in between his adorably crooked teeth, "A-Arthur…shit, shit, Artie…!"_

 _"_ _Do you like it?" Arthur said, tilting his head in such a way that it looked cute but suggestive at the same time. "I wanted to thank you for all that you've done for me…"_

 _"_ _There's no need for that," he mumbled, but let one of his hands trail up to Arthur's forearm in response. With a tug, he fell onto Alfred's chest, and their eyes met. The atmosphere was searing with unresolved tension, so much that Alfred finally read it and used his other hand to cup Arthur's face, fingers pushing up against the bristly ends and feverishly kissed him._

 _Arthur parted his mouth, his slightly swollen lips allowing Alfred entrance. After a moment, Alfred found Arthur underneath him rather than on top, his cheeks flushed – now this felt a little more real – and he continued recklessly anyway, pressing Arthur deeper into the softness of his pillows. Arthur let out a soft moan, hands reaching around his neck to bring their bodies closer, and Alfred felt his legs – he was gonna create a law when he was a king to disallow Arthur to wear shorts around anyone except him as they were too gorgeous for their own good - shift around his waist._

 _"_ _Alfred, please…you, ah!" he gasped against his mouth. Alfred swallowed audibly, the raw sound reverberating around the silent room._

 _"_ _I gotta thank you, too," he said._

 _Daring to take a risk, he darted forward and attached his mouth to Arthur's slender neck, drawing forth a cry of his name and feeling his hands gathering up his honey blond hair, feeling Arthur's heartbeat underneath his mouth drawing him into a frenzy that only burned for more…_

* * *

Someone turned on the lights.

Alfred woke up with a jolt, his cheeks flushed and chest moving faster than it had before he went to sleep and his forehead clammy, his hair sticking to his face. What _kind_ of dream had that been?

The sky outside was still darkened, suggesting that it was very early morning. But with that image in his head, there was almost no chance of falling back asleep again. He couldn't even sit the right way on his really soft bed, thanks to-

" _Ugh_ ," he groaned, making sure Matthew's door was completely closed before he flopped his face back into the pillows, feeling the fire on his cheeks burn a little brighter as he realized that he'd have to change his boxers come morning.

Yao _had_ warned him about the horrid effects of puberty, but he'd never seen them manifest in this way. Where images that had been festered from the deepest parts of another side of him, one that brought heated dreams, bright red cheeks and clouded green eyes…

" _Agh_!" he cried out in frustration, gripping his pillow in frustration as the pressure on his lower regions started to build again. Fates, if Yao found out… He scrunched his legs together, trying his best to push it as low as possible, but _noooo_. Wet dreams ahoy.

He closed his eyes again, trying to get comfortable.

Big mistake.

* * *

"Your Highness, but breakfast is in three minutes!" his maid cried, tapping at the bathroom door urgently. "His Highness Matthew left for the dining room twenty minutes ago…"

"No, no, go f-first," Alfred said hurriedly, harshly wiping off some soap from the band of his pants. "I've got this under control…"

After he hung his underwear from the shower rack, he wrestled a new pair of boxers that his maid had brought that morning, jumped into his pants (literally), hastily buttoned his shirt and out the door with one shoe on.

On his way to the dining room, he nearly ran into a brown haired maid who started apologizing for absolutely no reason, stubbed his untied shoe into a statue of some old fart, and was tying a knot into his tie as he arrived to the dining hall, kicking the door open in a manner that neither Matthew nor Yao would approve of.

The owlish eyes of the Elite were what greeted him – which included Arthur, which would have been great on a normal day, but coming straight on the heels of a messy boner that had ended even messier, it was not doing anything good for him at all.

And, of course, his hair smelled of roses, meaning that he had washed his hair last night. Thoughts of him in the shower, with the water reflecting off his skin…

Feeling his cheeks flame, he avoided Arthur's gaze – and the rest of the Elite, for that matter - as he made his way up to his usual seat. Yao, to his surprise, held a bemused expression, but Matthew was as pissy as usual, prodding him in the ribs. A butler was behind his chair, and he nodded to him before sitting down.

"Come on, waking up so late? Did something happen yesterday?"

"Chill, Matt," Alfred said, shrugging it off as easily has he had done time and time again. "Jus' woke up in the middle of the night, that's all. Don't sweat it – what's for breakfast today?"

"Hash browns are what I'm taking, " Yao said curtly. "Matthew's enjoying waffles with coffee today, I assume?"

"Can I have milk tea instead?" Matthew asked, sounding a little less steamed at the mention of good food. "With some maple sugar instead of the normal stuff."

"Yes, Your Highness," the butler said. "What for the crown prince?"

"Uh, hash browns sound great, and, uh, orange juice?"

It came out more like a question than anything, but thankfully no one noticed as he bowed once and placed a hand over his towel and folded it neatly again, before going off presumably to the kitchens.

"Hey," Alfonso mumbled over a mouthful of food, and Alfred mentally steeled himself with a grin as he looked back to the trio. "Morning, Al!"

"Morning to ya too! Did the three of you have a nice sleep?" _Hopefully better than mine…_

"Alfonso and I went riding together yesterday," Emma said, placing her fork on an empty plate of what were presumably waffles. "If I was back home, I would have woken up really late!"

"Yeah, it was really fun!" Alfonso said enthusiastically. "Art, I'm sorry I didn't get to bring you along yesterday. I couldn't find you before we left for the stables…"

"Hm? Oh no, that's completely not an issue," Arthur said, and the mere warmth in his tone was enough to soften his thoughts for a while. _That's_ what he usually sounded like, not the phantom in his bed last night… "I was writing a few notes to my family. With Christmas being the day after tomorrow, I couldn't help but think about them…"

"Reminds me," Alfonso said, swallowing audibly*. "Antonio should be on break for Christmas, I should drop a note asking how things are in Hearts. Especially with the Joker rebels…"

"I mean, since the Hearts kingdom have decided to crown their new queen a little after the New Year, it should be safe. Either that or they have significant protection," Yao said, taking a sip of his water. "But I do not think you need to worry, Sir Alfonso."

"Thank you, Jack Yao," came the reply. "I just don't want to cause any unnecessary trouble."

"No, it's no issue. A healthy concern for our allies is always welcomed," he said warmly. "Speaking of which, we must get back to the Diamonds negotiation later, Prince Matthew. Perhaps after breakfast?"

"Y-Yes, Jack Yao," he said. A little surprised at how he was acting in front of the Elite, let alone to them, he stuttered a little at the beginning. "I'll see if King Francis or Jack Vash is available later, apparently Queen Lili is on business in Clubs."

"Duly noted," Yao said, but paused as he saw the twins' confused expressions. Perhaps his behaviour was turning a little too formal as their parents had requested he be a bit less formal in his speech before their death; or it was probably the air of apprehension that cautiously permeated the room this morning. "Right, yes, any plans for today, Pri – er, Alfred?"

"Uh, I don't have nothing," Alfred said, wincing a little at Emma's crestfallen expression. "I'm sorry…there were a few new tweaks to the bills that the advisors were talking about the other night. I'd like to get through those instead…"

"Alfred," Matthew said in a hushed tone so that the others wouldn't hear except Yao. "Are they the ones about forwarding the end of the Deciding process? You did say the New Year…"

"Yes," Alfred said hastily, before turning to face the confused trio. "I know you're disappointed and I really don't wanna have to do this. But maybe tomorrow…since it's Christmas Eve, why don't we stay up and bake something?"

"Cookies, for Santa?" Emma asked, her eyes lighting up.

"I don't believe in Santa," Arthur said cynically, but smiled all the same, making Alfred's heart thump under the looser shirt he wore for mornings. "Baking does sound awfully fun, though."

"Tomorrow night, under the Christmas tree?" Alfonso suggested. "Let's meet there."

And with that, Alfred could avoid embarrassing himself in front of everyone else.

* * *

"Your Highness…what do you think of this colour?"

 _Purple_ , Alfred thought internally. _It's a royal colour, and one of Spades's primary colours…but again, it doesn't match his eyes at all._

He must have made some face, as the jeweler quickly put back the amethyst into the velvet holder.

After the relatively peaceful breakfast that he had had, Alfred had gone down to the small forgery that they had in the right wing of the palace. The blacksmith was a little surprised to see him but nevertheless, took out a large velvet box and revealed that he had been, in fact, working on Alfred's request for the past few days.

"Sir, I'm sorry if I upset you. I was just deep in thought…"

"None taken, Your Highness," the jeweler said cheerfully. "I know that this will be on the finger of our future princess and in turn queen, and that simply gives me inspiration – however, may I ask what made it so distasteful? Perhaps the cutting, or the jewel placement?"

"No, no," Alfred amended hurriedly. "It wasn't at all! You have done stunning work over the years, but it's just the fact that…the Elite I'll be proposing to soon has green eyes, and I felt that purple could potentially clash."

"Ah, I see," he said, but his smile quickly turned mischievous. "That's a wonderful trick question, as all three of them have lovely green eyes. Then, possibly…maybe something red?"

"That could work," Alfred said, trailing off. "I was thinking maybe something red for mine, but. I guess I don't really have the expertise to choose a ring that would work."

"You're a youngster that's going to inherit the crown. I guess there should be more things to fret about than a wedding ring."

"You have a good point, sir," he said, subconsciously twisting around his dog tags. "But I really do want to fit them to a T."

"Well, how about this," the blacksmith said, placing the ring back into the box. "Picture this – think of them wearing it every day. Just imagine them with it all the time, carrying it along to social events and visits. It should reflect their love, in the sense."

Alfred sat there on the small workers' bench for a moment, still in thought. After a few minutes, he removed his heavy suit jacket, wrapped it underneath his arm and sat a little closer to the hearth, where a flat sheet of metal was setting.

"Okay, I guess I've got a picture now – so, uh about the colour, I was thinking of maybe…"

He spent most of the rest of his afternoon discussing the shape and colours of the gem on the ring instead of hidden meanings and zodiac signs that he thought that he'd be looking at instead, and only managed to slog back to his room after the blacksmith started to look a little tired. Feeling confident that he had left the job to capable hands, he allowed himself to start drafting an announcement to the advisors about the end of the Deciding, and promised himself to write a speech for the Broadcast that would certainly come along with the official call.

Quickly taking a bath before his maid could come in for her last check before she stood patrol along with his butler who had prepared a handful of bath salts already, he leapt into bed, hoped for a dreamless sleep without any gorgeous, tantalizing Arthurs that would materialize in his sinful dreams, and (thankfully) found that peaceful sleep that carried him into Christmas Eve.

* * *

* i have used this term for other, deeper meaning before, but alfonso just wanted to swallow his breakfast. good man.

* * *

replies

 _pastaaddict -_ i feel like sooner or later, i'm going to contract diabetes from them :')

 _vivadragnire_ \- you know, when you mentioned mountain my first thought was that it should definitely be included in the sound of music remastered...

 _russia says hello_ \- i love that you signed off like normal when your review was all caps lmao

 _THEHYPEISSOREAL_ \- young lady we're talking over skype about this

 _AlfredoHater_ \- see above message x

\- i wonder if you ran into another celebrating reviewer on a mountain? i hope you didn't have any accidents - the last time i went hiking, screaming meant someone spotting a bee... and also - i think yao might want a smaller role, as my original intention with his arc was to sort of leave it ambiguous. i was planning to leave it for the sequel, which _seems_ like it's going to be happening. and i'm a little unsure as to what you mean by 'national'? and final note - steamy night for this chap as well ;)

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 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	74. Eve

here comes the obligatory 'england can't cook' scene with every hetalia fic

also - tsundere type a & b make an appearance!

EDIT: _reupload since FFNet was a butt and didn't want to notify anyone. so i'm sorry :/_

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

 _Dear Erin,_

 _How are you and the family? Since it's cooling down here in Spades, I wonder if it's any different in Hearts. Maybe the winter's not as harsh over there as it is in the palace? There have been centimeters of snow every night, and I just came back from a little walk around the gardens, as you know me. I tried to brush away as much snow as I could, but one of the gardeners got spooked and I almost ripped a blue rose petal when she shouted at me. I don't think all the apologies in the world could have rectified my mortification…_

 _How's everyone at home? I hope Cormac's still fending off the alcohol, you told me last time he was considering going away to become a farmhand. I trust that he's all right…and how are Christian and Allistor? I hope that the money you're receiving is making sure that they're able to work less hours. Allistor's not sleeping on the sofa any more, right? It's not good for him at all, and I'm thankful you stopped him._

 _But how are you, Erin? I know it's a lot colder in our cottage than in the palace, and so I worry. Cormac's never been good with sickness, and Dylan's relatively young so he gets the sniffles so quickly that we all get scared…I know the little tyke will appreciate the winter break though. I know you will – I think the idea you had of not working for the kindergarten next door full time to look after Dylan is a great idea. With all the compensation, I hope you can make ends meet soon. Please remember to take a moment for yourself between maintaining the house and raising him…_

 _Umm, it seems I'm sounding a lot more formal than you'd read without teasing me. I know, I know I'm rambling, but there's just a lot of things on my mind…you as a family first and foremost. Ever since the Hearts Deciding news that we received – of course, you must have heard about it – started their process to end it, I can't help but that our Deciding here at Spades should end soon enough. I mean, even with all this luxury, I do miss you all at home._

 _Thing is – Erin, please don't tell anyone else – I think Prince Alfred is going to end it soon. I'm not sure what exactly has been pinpointing me to it, but I suppose I can sense it. Yesterday he declined to spend time with us for the whole day, but something told me he was doing something more than the bills he was talking about. Perhaps there's some paperwork to complete in lieu of ending the process? Anyway, I digress._

 _It's been six months, almost seven. So many things have changed, but I hope I haven't. With there being a…well, rather_ _ **real**_ _possibility of marriage to the crown prince, no less…there's a lot that I have to sort out. I hope I can get it down pat by the new year…_

"Hey, Arthur! I thought you were just writing off some note or something!" Alfonso's cheerful voice drifted down the hallway, bringing back a hint of a smile to Arthur's serious expression he always adapted to when writing letters. "Come on, buddy! We're going to be late!"

"Unfortunately for you, I lost the draft I prepared yesterday night after dinner," Arthur called, waving him and a casually dressed Emma into his room as soon as their brown haired heads popped through the door. "I'll just be five minutes."

"No problem," Emma said, straightening out her silk pants. "Duchess, your bathroom smells great! Almost like the garden."

"There's a few scones on the table which I haven't gotten to yet…" Arthur said with a sideways glance, picking up his pen. "I _suppose_ I'll just forget their existence if there's just one left…"

"Deal," Alfonso said, stuffing one in his mouth before sashaying over to his table. "Time's a ticking, buddy."

Arthur grinned, tapping his shoulder with his pen nib before getting back to his letter.

 _…_ _but yes, other than that, there's absolutely no need to worry about me. I'm content in my palace life, and both Sir Alfonso and Lady Emma are nothing but kind to me. In fact, even after the Deciding I'll be proud to call them friends, no matter where we end up in life._

 _One more thing – please don't be upset for me when I arrive on our doorstep dressed in fancy clothes but no ring. Of course, the pain will definitely be there as I have, in all respects, almost unintentionally given my heart to the prince, but things will get better from there. No need to worry, I just need a few months if that happens, so please don't fret even before I come home._

 _The one thing I want for Christmas is that you'd just enjoy the holiday season and take a rest. We'll be celebrating it together again next year, as per usual, no matter what happens. So as Christian and Allistor love to tease me about, there's no Scrooge around the house this year._

 _I wish I could write more, but as it stands, my fellow Elite and Alfred are going to celebrate Christmas Eve together tonight. I know you're anxious for some romantic news, but…this letter is getting long as it. I can't have you poring over this looking for Alfred news when Dylan's tugging at your dress and Cormac's trying to 'accidentally' add some rum to the rum balls and then scoffing the whole lot._

 _I hope it's without horrible Christmas songs…_

 _All my love,_

 _Arthur_

"I think I've gotten as stale as those scones," Alfonso said dramatically, using the chair to lift himself up. "Now, come on!"

As the trio rushed off, Anna was making her way up the corridor to Arthur's room with a handful of bed sheets.

"Cooking, eh?" she muttered to herself. "Sir Arthur – you don't… _cook_ , by chance, do you?"

* * *

As soon as they entered the dining room, now brightly decorated with Christmas lights strung around the base of the fireplace and five stockings dangling in front with the massive tree now lit up in the background, they spotted Alfred, bent over a set of books, Hero curled on top one of the largest ones.

 _Now that's not a sight you see every day,_ Arthur thought as they called to him. He saw his eyes light up – almost in relief - and Hero shaking his velvety ears as he swept the books to one side in one strong, fluid motion and jumped to his feet.

He could only watch as he strode over, clothed in a tight fitting long sleeved shirt for winter and smartly pressed pants as his pup bounced alongside him.

"Alfred!" Alfonso called excitedly, his fingers outstretched as he waved, Emma and Arthur following suit. "How are you tonight?"

"Got a lot of work to do, which sucks," Alfred remarked, but squeezed his hand, flashing his pearly white teeth. "Thank Fates I got Hero with me while I was working."

The little terrier barked in response, tail wagging, and Alfred ran a hand alongside his back before picking him up securely.

"Is he coming with us tonight?" Emma piped up. "We haven't spent much time with him recently…"

"Can't have him choking on any flour or bumping into anything – is that right, bud?" Alfred said, tickling the fur underneath his chin. "After Yao found you snacking on some of his unfinished pesto, he's gonna be stricter on you now."

All three of their expressions melted as they watched him interact with his dog. He just seemed a lot more at ease with his pet than buried in his work…

Arthur fidgeted in his shoes, watching him again. After last night, the time not spent with him seemed so wasted. Why did he have to avoid him?

"Okay, sorry," Alfred said, placing his pet back on the floor. "So, uh, which one do you want to work in? There's one larger one, but I don't want to bother the maids maybe-"

"I'll ask mine to go down," Alfonso offered. "Ella said she'd be there…Em, you know where the kitchen is exactly? She only took me there once, but…"

"Hey, I'll just come with you!" Emma said cheerfully. "Come on, Alfonso."

And just like that, Arthur and Alfred were alone together.

* * *

"Um, hello," Arthur said a little hesitantly. After what had happened yesterday, he was still a tad confused on how they stood. Yes, they had had a good day yesterday where they didn't fight, but the way Alfred _looked_ at him the other day, those intense stares filled with an emotion he didn't know that made him flush and want to touch the other boy…

"Uh, hey, Artie!" Alfred grinned, a tinge on his cheeks. _Perhaps he's thinking the same?_ "What's up?"

"Nothing, it's just that…" Arthur turned away once, before stepping a little closer to him subconsciously. "Was – did anything happen, yesterday?"

"Huh? Nothing special, nah," Alfred said, shaking his head in such a way that reminded him of a wet puppy. "Did something happen with you?"

"Y…you would know!" he said indignantly, but felt a little blush creep onto his cheeks. "And here I was, worrying that there was something wrong with me by the way you _stared_ …"

"H- _Huh_?" he blurted, his cheeks flaming – exactly like they had yesterday! What was going on? "Did I look at you funny?"

"Yes, you idiot!" Arthur protested, biting his lip. "The way you looked at me the whole day, it was as if I had done something wrong, but…"

Alfred looked completely mortified _again_ , but he took a step forward. In a move that had Arthur surprised, he cupped Arthur's arms against his own, bringing him closer than he had expected.

"What do you mean?" Alfred said anxiously, looking away a little. Even he seemed to be taken aback by his boldness. "Come on, you have to tell me! Don't keep your sweetheart waiting."

Arthur sighed, turning his gaze away for a heartbeat before winding his fingers into Alfred's hair, kissing him hurriedly on his lips before pulling away hastily.

"Wh-" he stammered, surprised, but Arthur effectively silenced him with a grumpy, blushing expression.

"You idiot, it made me want to do… _that_!" he spluttered. "You…you…don't get the wrong idea, it's not like I was worried about you or anything! Don't misunderstand me, but you're working too hard and being too hard on yourself! F-For a moment there, I was scared-!"

 _Duchess, he's just too cute_ , Alfred wailed internally as he pulled Arthur's lithe body to his, meeting his eyes with a deep stare. _And he smells so sweetly of roses, meaning he washed his hair last night…_

"…!" Arthur huffed indignantly, but if he _did_ get this right, by the way his hands were resting against his chest (shit, they were _soft_ ) and the way he tried to not meet his glance in the same old Arthur way meant something good…right?

"What were you worried about?" Alfred murmured against his forehead. "Come on, Artie. It's me*."

"That…that you'd get bored of me." Arthur muttered under his breath. "I know…I know it sounds foolish of me, but after yesterday I wanted so badly to talk to you but you shut yourself away, but then you said it was work but then I thought you didn't want to see me, and-"

"Hey, whoa!" Alfred exclaimed, pulling a hand up to his cheek. A faint voice in his head nagged about Emma and Alfonso, but he couldn't when Arthur was showing signs of vulnerability. "I'm sorry if I shut you out yesterday. There are just a lot of things on my mind, as I said the other day. But I thought, tonight's Christmas and then the New Year, so I wanted to finish things up as soon as I could to spend time with you."

Arthur seemed to relax a little, mumbling something in a miffed tone under his breath, but leaned a little closer to him and lifted his hand off his cheek, pressing a kiss to it.

"You're as bloody impossible as the day I met you," Arthur said with a hint of a smile. "…idiot."

"Even though you might be scared of me leaving you like…I don't know, some person you used to be involved with, I won't. I just can't throw you away like that."

"What other person?" Arthur whispered, letting their hands fall loosely, still linked.

"There's just…a reason why you're occasionally prickly. Even as when I can see through them and it just makes you cuter in my opinion-" Arthur sputtered indignantly, a splash of red colouring his freckles, "But you shouldn't let things that happened you affect you now."

"Well, up until recently, I felt like I was in a relationship with someone completely out of my league." Arthur conceded. "Now he's reassured me, yes, but…I can't really put it out of my head."

"Huh," he said, beaming. "If I were him, then I'd just smother you in affection until you know he's not going away!"

"You do that then," Arthur teased, sidestepping elegantly around him. "Go on, take your own _advice_."

Alfred took in a baited breath, and it took so long that Arthur wondered what was going on. And so he asked him, of course, with a thick eyebrow arched, telling him exactly what he had to.

"No, no, it's just that…" Alfred trailed off, and Arthur could quickly see why.

"Oh. No, I understand."

"Come on, at least let me explain," Alfred said quietly, with a hint of regret in his tone. "Arthur, you _know_ that this doesn't mean I care for you less, and them more. Even if…you know, I know I can finish this with someone, I won't do that to the other Elite. I can't."

 _That's – oh,_ Arthur realized internally as he managed to banish the thought of Alfred's warm, chapped lips moving with his, and his musky smell blotting his senses. _Ack, he's really distracting today. How did he know?_

"In that case, I apologise," he said. "I thought you meant something else, not Emma and Alfonso. I feel bad now, I forgot momentarily…"

"I don't want to make this uncomfortable for anyone," Alfred reasoned. "At least, if we don't have time to talk today, I guess I could take your advice later."

"I'll write something – actually, I _already_ have. For Christmas." he said, his voice resonating with both resolve and bashfulness. "Hopefully your maids will be able to give it to you without crumpling it in your stocking."

"I'm looking forward to it," he murmured, taking Arthur's hand and brushing his lips against his knuckles. "You know I am."

 _I hate you for making me feel like this_ , Arthur grumbled in his head. _However, I love you all the more for it._

* * *

 _Goodness, that was close,_ Arthur thought internally as all four of them walked downstairs to the kitchen that Emma and Alfonso had routed out, minus Hero. He hadn't been given the clearance to go into the kitchen after all.

His friends had burst into the room no sooner had Alfred had met him in the subtlest of kisses, leaving them to spare a slight hint of embarrassment and hurt feelings.

Unfortunately, if the baking session had gone anything like their little tryst in the Drawing Room, Arthur wouldn't be standing completely mortified with flour, cinnamon and blackened crumbs staining his apron, watching only in misery as Emma pulled out yet another tray of pristinely baked gingerbread cookies.

"Can we have these for Christmas breakfast and Christmas tomorrow night?" Alfred said, dusting off his glass frames that had been stained by pink icing. "That should be the last batch, yeah?"

"Now we get to cover it with icing!" Alfonso sang, wielding a stuffed bag full of the sugary stuff. Now _that_ was something Arthur could use to ice the bits on his makeshift scones that had gone just a little too crisp.

The lower kitchen had been completely cleared as soon as Alfred and Arthur had followed Emma and Alfonso up to the room – which made a lot of sense seeing as they had taken absolutely forever to come up – which he didn't really mind after all.

The kitchen tops were dusted, white marble gleaming like shells. It was definitely a lot more spacious than it had been at home, with large bags of flour and barrels of milk and oil stacked in the corner ready for use. Spices, vibrant and numerous, were neatly labeled on steel racks, stored in tiny vials. Utensils, so clean that you could view your own reflection in them, were ordered in pots that almost looked large flowerbeds filled with cutlery.

Unfortunately, Arthur's cooking seemed to have disrupted things. First it had been the dial, setting the temperature too high. Next it was the distinctive burning smell sending maids and cooks alike whispering and chattering. Finally, to put the cherry on top, practically the whole kitchen had dispersed when he had opened with and a huge, acrid smelling cloud had wafted out of the oven.

Of course, all three of them had jumped to comfort him by offering _their_ own baked goods, but nothing more sent a little warmth to his heart than them valiantly trying them. Emma tried her best to keep a smile on her face after the whole ordeal while Alfonso turned a slight shade of green, weakly assuring his best friend that it was good as Arthur internally decided to pack them up and eat them himself later to not put it to waste. Even the maid taking it to his room had her eyes wide with shock as she had taken them up!

He couldn't help feeling guilty after that even as they had the other baked goods at around nine and put the traditional milk and cookies underneath the very much nontraditional tree and then bid everyone a Merry (in Arthur's case, Happy) Christmas then retired for the night.

Arthur made his own way alone to his bedroom after he had sent Alfonso to his bedroom and thanked and apologized to the both of his friends. He thought it a little bit of a shame that Alfred had disappeared after they had gotten all the Christmassy things out of the way, but…

His train of thought was spectacularly stopped in his track as he saw Alfred bent over his desk, burnt scone in one hand with an embarrassed expression.

"A-Artie?" he yelped, quickly dusting off the obvious, sooty crumbs from his face.

"Alfred? What are you – the others didn't like them at all-"

"Uh, I'm not even sure if they're safe to eat at the first place in the kitchen," Alfred teased, but continued anyway. "They're super crunchy anyway."

"But…but…" Arthur said, feeling a little steamed, "Why are you eating them?"

"I didn't want to go without trying them first. Also, uh…" Alfred paused, blushing a little as he swallowed his bite of burnt – _crisp_! – scone. "You looked kinda upset. And I didn't want that to happen. Also, I like teasing you."

"Y…you!" Arthur spluttered, going as red as he did. _Of course the idiot teases me just for fun!_

 _But he ate it…and doesn't seem to hate it…I suppose-_

Then all of a sudden, he had snatched up the box out of his own accord and placed it squarely in Alfred's hands, folding his arms and jutting out his lip.

"F-Fine! If you want to tease me even more, take them all! If you don't eat them all, I'll get angry – but if you really can't eat them, don't…idiot."

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that!" Alfred amended quickly, tucking the box of baked goods underneath his arm anyway. "And – don't look at me like that. You know what – I'll even bring it to you tomorrow at breakfast! For proof!"

Arthur blinked rapidly, getting rid of the tears that had mysteriously built up in his eyes, and nodded once, but was still a little skeptical. Why had he agreed to eat something that had already been written off?

"Yeah?" _Oh Fates, he had said it out loud?!_

"Look, I'll tell you why," Alfred offered, leaning on his heels. "I want to do it. F…for you. I mean, you tried so hard, and so why should I just leave it like that. Heh, if I'm not gonna tear up at your bad cooking, then the hero can handle anything that comes my way!"

Underneath that layer of teasing, though, Arthur could feel his affection. _Maybe we're not as different as I like to think._

However, naturally to Arthur's character, he punched Alfred in the face then threw his arms around him once he had recovered.

Alfred had been a little shocked to say the least.

* * *

And so here he was, sending Alfred off in the same way that they both liked – Alfred leaning a little over him, taking advantage of their slight height range, and Arthur's hands – well, hand – stuffed into his jacket pocket.

"Goodnight, Arthur," Alfred croaked out, rubbing at the bruise on his ( _stupidly perfect_ , Arthur bitched) cheekbone, composing himself for the next sentence. "And Merry Christmas."

"Goodnight, Alfred." Arthur said as curtly as possible, but couldn't fight the smile worming its way to his mouth. "And…Happy Christmas to you too."

"Hey, I know there's no mistletoe," Alfred said slowly, blushing. "But would it bad for me to ask for a kiss- _mmph_!"

Arthur delivered, leaning on his tiptoes and lacing his arms around Alfred's waist. He could hear the sound of the prince placing down the box of crisp scones on the floor and sweetly reciprocating, calloused hands cupping both sides of his cheeks and bringing Arthur as close as humanly possible as he parted his mouth and allowed Alfred entrance, all the while twining his fingers in his hair.

After a while, Alfred's taste of gingerbread and apples invaded Arthur's mouth until it _did_ blur out the sensation of cold that were his glasses pressing against the bridge of his nose. Alfred even overwhelmed the warmth of his own hand moving to cup his back to support him as Arthur was dipped a little to deepen the kiss. Only then did they have the common sense to part, breathing a little deeper.

"Damn," Alfred said, his voice a little husky. Perfect. _Just to make me melt again, Your Highness? Idiot._

"Happy – well, the foolish way you say it – _Merry_ Christmas to you, love." Arthur breathed, his eyes sparkling with mirth.

That was when Alfred decided that romantic as hell kissing was the best part of Christmas. Screw presents, Arthur's lips against his own were _way_ sweeter.

* * *

*omitted from the chapter was the phrase 'it'sa me, Mario.'

* * *

hello everyone. short A/N, but since the last chapter was suggestive in content i'd like to make a quick statement.

at first i was thinking of perhaps posting some sort of an nsfw omake depending on how the story panned out. it's not 100% set in stone, but if there **is** , i'm not going to be posting it here. per FFNet's rules, explicit sex scenes aren't allowed. i do not want to disrespect the site's rules in any way and additionally, risk this story's removal. i have been working on this fic for more than two years now (wow. get a life me) and i would be devastated if it happened.

so what if i **do** go ahead with this smutty omake? well, it'll be on AO3 since it is within the rules. but that's only when the story's ended or close to it's last chapters. i'll post a link/my username, so please stay tuned for this!

finally - when this story is completed, i might consider deleting replies. but again, if i ever finish this i'll decide orz

* * *

replies

 _pastaaddict_ \- i'm tempted to give him a time out ;D

 _vivadragnire_ \- have this microphone. i can sponsor your debut album anytime! /yes

 _n kukurichan_ \- haha don't worry! i was utterly mortified when i wrote that scene too...and that's amazing! i'd just like a video of you holding your phone and doing some sort of jig with people joining in. that sounds absolutely spectacular lololol. but i think he doesn't have a single idea what he's getting himself into .-. yao just has that parent/guardian's intuition in my mind. and yes - i'm v seriously considering one now - and thanks for the clarification! since it's going to be a royal wedding, it'll be a very big deal. (i worry about your brother a lot honestly...)

 _mi-chan kizanami_ \- lmao it was really funny to explore this side of alfred...even though i was super embarrassed and googled a lot of it to help me write oTL

 _hearthorse11_ \- good question lmao. they're a wanky person and alfonso's #1 hater so i guess that counts for something? and i DON'T, i swear. i end up waking up at 2am to write...maybe because i've been doing this for so long. lmao

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	75. Tenderness

i tried my best to not do fluff this chapter but it kind of creeped up on me and ran off with my nose OK don't judge me

i'm actually an angsty writer i swear insurance **guaranteed**

* * *

 _ **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**_

* * *

Christmas Day came bright and early, with even his usually (mostly) grounded maid coming to wake him up, broom in hand.

When he asked what the occasion was, Anna looked up from her hurried dusting then practically shouted in his ear that it was Christmas Day – what was he _thinking_ , still slouching in bed?

"I've heard that the rest of the Elite are already awake and that's why I had to shock you up…that and I wanted to finish dusting before the day's celebrations began. You _do_ understand that, do you?" she said, thrusting her arm clutching the broom outward. "That's it, all done. Now, do you need me to dress you or do you want to do it yourself?"

Quickly assessing his situation that she was holding a potentially very dangerous broom and that he had practically no way of defending himself, and taking into account that his friends could be waiting, spurred him into action.

"Thank Fates for that," Anna grinned to herself as he ran into the door and she followed, kicking the door shut firmly with her heel. "Shame we can't wear red and green today. I would have loved to dress him in something and mentioned a tomato."

* * *

Fortunately though, when Anna had scrambled him out of the door and into the dining hall, there was only Emma and Alfonso speaking to the several butlers that were presumably taking their order.

"Go on, Sir Arthur," she said. "If the royal family comes in and you're not in there, there could be trouble."

"Please celebrate today, Anna," he said in return, straightening his jacket and turning to face him. "I don't want to come back to see you cleaning my freezing windows like two days before."

"But what if they're dirty?" she complained, but it was full of mirth as her feet were already leading her away. "Look, I'll check the mail for you, but that's all I'll do. Promise!"

"I'm holding you onto that!" Arthur smiled, waving cheerfully. Pausing for a moment, he rummaged inside his pocket to find the letter but only came up short to his shock, before he quickly realized who exactly it was behind it.

"A _nna_!"

His maid chuckled to herself before stuffing the folded up note inside the waist of her apron.

"Jordan, dear? Would you mind putting this into Prince Alfred's stocking for me?" she asked cheerfully, stopping a maid with brown plaits tucked under her cap. "You know. A favour for one of the Elite boys I'm looking after?"

"Ehehe," she grinned, tucking it under her arm and deftly taking out her serving plate. "On it, Anna!"

* * *

Yao snapped the lid of his port shut as all three of the Elite sat down and began to order their breakfasts. For once, _Matthew_ was late, but Alfred had sat down meekly in front of him. But of course, this was a guise to go stuff his fingers inside of his Christmas stockings and holler, probably. Yao had tried to correct the twins' (mostly Alfred) royal behaviour to the best of his ability once the king and queen had died, but it had bore no fruit since he had become soft on them (and the crown prince under any circumstance, save food, would agree) and simply wouldn't let them be constricted under the royal conditions that had destroyed their mother.

 _But what gives, if you are thinking about their mother's murder,_ Yao thought harshly to himself. _It's Christmas Day, after all. There shouldn't be anything pulling them – or you – down._

However, it was that thought above everything else that made him open the lid of the port for one more time. Clubs had always been cold, but bitterly so even at Christmastime. Naturally, there had been no note from Ivan as he was probably lying low from the fallout that had been his early departure from the Deciding process. How he wished to at least send a Merry Christmas, and talk about his sunflowers that must have drooped during the punishing season…

"Hey, Yao!" The Jack almost jumped at Alfred's voice. "Are you okay? You were kinda staring, you know, at the port for a few minutes without doing anything."

"Ah. My apologies, Alfred," Yao said, shaking out his ponytail. He had tied it up in a red band today, and fastened up his blue collar to shield himself from the cold and had gone back to his long sleeves. "I was thinking about the situation in Diamonds. King Francis recently contacted me about a lack of amplifier fodder metals there. It was probably something to do with the recent Joker thefts – especially at the border, the leader was using one. I have yet to notify them, though…"

"Yao," Alfred said, leaning over a little on the table. "It's Christmas. You know what, Matthew and I'll go talk to Francis ourselves today. He's just like our big brother!"

"Alfred, boy, he's eight years your senior but acts like he's blooming fifty, which he's not. And there was a possibility that the Joker Gilbert might be at home turf…" Yao said seriously, but fought a smile. "Very well. If that's what you want to do for Christmas, so be it. I hope it doesn't end in a state visit right after…"

"Why not?" Alfred grinned, sounding excited. "You're always saying that it could help with our prince stuff. And Matthew's probably gonna like it! And Gilbert's cool with us, right?"

"Well, we'll have to see. Oh, good morning, Matthew."

"Good morning, Yao, Alfred. What's this I hear about Diamonds, eh?"

And with that, breakfast started.

* * *

The rest of the day was essentially filled with festivities. Maids and butlers, except for breakfast and some small meals amongst the Elite, ceased work for the day and held a large party in the servants' quarters which they readily invited the royals and the Elite too. Alfonso seemed ready to sprint there as soon as they had announced it, but Emma and Alfred seemed to have their reserves, as well as Matthew.

"I'm sorry," Emma said, fidgeting a little as she talked with the Jack. "I want to maybe call my family to see how they're doing today – is that fine, Your Highness?"

"I don't see an issue with that," Yao said warmly, turning to the butler next to him. "But maybe he might…"

"Oh no, it's not an issue at all." she said, nodding. "I understand, milady. Christmas is a time for family as it is for friends. Please come whenever you see fit."

"And then, what about you boys?" Yao asked, tipping his head to one side. "You're usually very excited about Christmas."

"Oh, uh…" Alfred mumbled, now visibly torn, but Matthew quickly stepped in with a nervous smile on his face.

"Jack Yao, please don't take this the wrong way," he said. "But for Christmas, we think that you should take a break. We'll see what we can do even for Diamonds. Please…and, um, I believe Prince Alfred could use the experience."

"Ah…" the Jack seemed faintly embarrassed in front of the Elite, but quickly picked up his appearance. "Very well, then. If you two insist. But about the trip, we'll…have to discuss that a little more in tandem later."

There was an awkward pause before Alfred piped up, very much in his usual fashion.

"So does that mean we get to open our stockings before tomorrow?"

Sometimes, Yao postulated as he sighed in exasperation, the only reason Alfred got away with such things was simply because of his charisma. And being with that since his childhood, it was a little difficult to deflect.

* * *

"Matt," Alfred said a little while later, as the two brothers sat inside of the port room waiting for the Diamonds to connect. "Are you okay? You're a little quiet today."

"Hmm? No, it's nothing special," Matthew said, his tone uncertain. "Just…Mother and Father. I miss them."

"Is it just because of Christmas?"

"Yeah." he said wryly. "You just remind me a lot about Mother. You know. She'd get all excited about the presents too…"

Alfred swallowed tightly, subconsciously running his fingers over each other in succession. He turned a little away from his twin, the glint of the port reflecting off his glasses in a small moment of silence.

"I'm sorry, Mattie." he said quietly, and in a heartbeat he had shaken his head, violet eyes looking frustrated.

"Alfred, it's not your fault that you resemble Mother in ways that I never would. I was just thinking after all. I mean, if it was the same situation for me then you'd be upset all the time. I just supposed that it was the right time to talk about it, being Christmas and everything. The butler was right – it's a time for family as well as friends…"

 _That's true_ , Alfred thought internally. Whereas he resembled more of their mom, he could see their dad in Matthew more than anything – the nervous tics, the violet eyes, the careful curiosity, the shyness. But even if he did look more like his mom – the tan that stayed for the whole year, the cheerful laughter, the playful spirit, there was still something he couldn't do. He couldn't be as nearly perfect as she was, holding herself up until the end.

"I miss Mom, too," Alfred said, his voice a little choked up but he continued nonetheless. "And Dad. He'd just be in his study a lot but come out when Mom pulled him and Yao out of it and we'd open presents together. I…I, uh, was hoping to do the same this year, before we could be pulled off to Diamonds."

"Then let's make the most of it," Matthew said, offering a wry smile. "It _is_ Christmas after all, brother."

So it was with a tinge of relief as the familiar chrome yellow that signified the Diamonds blipped onto the screen that Alfred knew that this year would be the same old Christmas, just like they liked it.

Even such a complicated process like a Deciding wouldn't change that…

* * *

" _Oh mon dieu!_ You boys don't seem like a Jack of Spades," came the accented voice of King Francis of Diamonds. "What can I do for you this fine Christmas day?"

"Francis!" Alfred called, his expression cheerful. "You still seem like forty."

" _Ah_ , you wound me, but you have not changed as well, _chou_ ," he laughed in his own flamboyant fashion, but took a minute to pause. "And is that dear Matthew? _Comm-_ "

"Francis," Matthew said, a little quieter but still as enthusiastic. After all, he and Francis shared a bond as mentor and mentee from his childhood. "Alfred doesn't understand the language of the Diamonds. I suppose it would make sense to just use common English…and I'm doing well, if you're asking me about that."

"Of course, of course!" Francis smiled, leaning a little further into the camera. "He should come over like you did, instead of Hearts. They're much too _modern_ to keep the old languages."

They shared a laugh, Matthew knocking against Alfred's shoulder in a teasing show of affection. "Also, the magic I picked up there was wonderful. But no matter – Jack Yao sent us to help with the amplifier crisis you've reported on."

The tone of the conversation quickly turned serious, singed with the impending issue that was more important than friendships and playful mentors.

"We had a rebel…encounter a few days ago," Matthew said haltingly. "It didn't end in any sort of disaster and we managed to negotiate, but the leader of the group had a nullifier on them. We still don't know exactly where they got it from, but since then we have had sufficient evidence from before that it might have come from your kingdom. They must have pillaged it while they were along your shared borders with Hearts."

"Did they say anything about it coming from Diamonds? If so. This is very grave indeed."

"The Jack Yao did make a severe remark about it being from Diamonds, but they did not respond nor deny," Matthew spoke. "If there is someone that can confirm whether there was a trace of Joker magic near the pile of empty amplifiers, we could surely confirm this."

"Are you by chance referring to your Joker Katya?" Francis questioned.

"On-only assuming that you'd need a state visit," Matthew said quickly. "Since Prince Alfred is currently undergoing a Deciding, well…"

"That does not exactly mean that he should neglect his duties," he mused. "But yes, I do understand. However, I'm not sure if Gilbert is ready as we were discussing letting him go to Hearts for Christmas. I'm sure King Ludwig would appreciate the favour…"

"Then let us host him," Matthew said as calmly as he could, but internally his heart was racing. He…he would get to see Gilbert again! "Hearts never has had any qualms about letting visitors from other kingdoms rest before coming to ours, and we share an alliance. This will only further your favour with them, Francis."

"Right – does dear Yao know about this?" he asked.

"We'll tell him right now." Alfred said. "We'll have lots of space to host just another Joker. Maybe he can swap gos – uh, advice with Katya over the amplifier thing while he's here."

"Hm. That sounds like a good proposition, and you two have always been good friends with him," Francis said thoughtfully, stroking his bearded chin. "All right then, I'll ask about Gilbert's thoughts on this. Although…I was also thinking of transporting the bulk of the nullifiers to come examine, now you've brought up the presence of both the Jokers."

"Isn't Gilbert OK?" Alfred wondered out loud.

"If you were to ship over the nullifiers…I suppose that would take the heat off your country for a while."

"For Lili's sake," Francis said tersely, speaking of his daughter. "I don't exactly feel secure that those rebels might have come in and taken some of those that have been tainted with amplifying her life. Perhaps after examination, they should be destroyed. But both Jokers would be the most secure way."

"Good point," Matthew said. "I'll make sure to notify Jack Yao about this – and I'll ask about when the Hearts coronation will take place. Since it might be a bit hush, we're not sure if we'd be invited…"

"Right, thank you two!" came the flamboyant result. "Can't wait to say hello to Yao again."

"Please say hello to Gilbert for the both of us." Matthew said, and couldn't fight the rush of warmth that spread in his stomach at the thought of the Joker coming back to him.

So much that he almost forgot to tell Yao about it and had to wait awkwardly to let Alfred tell him then only remember to discuss it with Katya. But no matter!

With this possibility of their reunion, he wished his older twin a good night and fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

 _I'm not gonna be sleeping normally tonight_ , he thought internally as he turned the paper, stained blue, over in his hands.

Night had fallen on Spades, and as he looked out against the atmosphere of his kingdom underneath, there was not a centimeter that hadn't been covered with bright, festive lights. It was what he loved the most about Christmas – one day that everyone could forget about their troubles, and instead enjoy themselves.

They used to host a Christmas party and invite families from all over the country as best as they could, but since he was having a Deciding this year, it was called off. Alfred had tried to do something to compensate, but alas, he had absolutely no time to even draft something or write. He sighed a little – the people might be a little disappointed, but with his love life splashed out for them to enjoy on television he knew that they wouldn't be too bitter.

"Arthur, huh?" he said to himself, flicking his wrist up to look at where he would have put an address. But no, it was simply his name written in careful handwriting: _Alfred_.

He had found it in his stocking – Yao had complained the moment he had plucked it from the top of the carefully knitted item and so he had quickly stuffed it into his breastpocket and made a run for it into his room, making sure his maid or Yao weren't there to jumpscare him before closing the door and fishing it out, making a beeline for the balcony.

* * *

 _24_ _th_ _of December_

 _Dear Alfred,_

 _It's cold tonight, as usual. It being Christmas Eve, I'd be concerned if it wasn't snowing or freezing at all…_

 _But no matter. You see, before the cooking session we had today, I did tell you that I had written something for your Christmas present. Unfortunately, after our encounter in the hall, I stomped back to my room, face stained crimson, and tore up the note I wrote for you. Because it just didn't seem right._

 _You are too terribly confusing, really, crown prince. One moment you're all smooth and subtle, someone who can make me flush in a heartbeat, but the next you're an absolute dork, with a smile like a cherub's and an even sweeter heart that everyone adores._

 _Erk. I can't believe I actually wrote that. Forget I ever said that. Scratch it off the page, if I will…_

* * *

Alfred noted, with a small smile, that he didn't anyway.

 _Nevertheless._

* * *

 _I wrote this letter not to ridicule you, even though it might sound like it. You know what I'm like. But suffice to say…I do think that we should leave all the denial and bickering to when we finally meet. I'm afraid that I'll have too much to say in counter, but what I want to say is that I've finally realized what it is to be here._

 _You know how close I am with my family – I always, always, from the first day, thought I would be spending Christmas and the New Years at home with no strings attached. And alas, here we are – you, kissing me a happy Christmas as you walk away, my heart in your hands, and my soul irrevocably filled with something that means that I cannot look away from your retreating figure as a thief that has taken the one thing I thought would be something I would guard until my dying day – my heart._

 _I want to wait until it's the right time to say those three words. We never say it between us – but I can only hope that you feel them. I say them as best as I can, with every brush of our fingertips and every look we share, I do my best. And I can sense that you do it as well – all the kisses we've shared, the way you try your best for me._

 _Alfred, I cannot put these feelings into actions the way you do – for Christmas and the New Year, I just can't hold you in my arms and hope in vain that it tells you how much you mean to me in my life. Because we both know that you speak much more with hands and gestures rather than words._

* * *

Footsteps clattered loudly amidst the brightly lit colours and the Christmas cheer permeating the castle, vibrating off the walls.

* * *

 _But, at least, I can trust myself to at least write something that isn't completely hopeless. Suffice to say – this is the best I can do. I understand if you find it stupid, but…consider that a punishment for what you've done to me these past few months – I've become someone who believes in this abstract idea of love._

 _Perhaps you might think it is in those huge scale things you do for me? The Halloween party, the nights we spent talking in the gardens…but for me, it is those little things. The way you make me laugh at the silliest things, the way you look at me when you think I'm not watching – I am, most of the time – the way I know you are such a large part of my life that I can't imagine life without you._

 _So instead of silly presents or songs, I decided that I wanted to give you this letter, this gift of honesty. This is for those stolen moments behind the staircases. This is for the outhouse in the gardens; this is for the days I spent thinking about you. This is for the boy who stole my heart and kept it, above all._

 _With all my heart-_

"Arthur." he said, panting as he laid a hand on his bedroom door.

He whipped around, hair still messy and a towel wrapped around his neck as Alfred burst through the door, his face flushed.

"Alfred? What's-" he said, but then caught sight of the two pieces of paper between his hand and turned scarlet. "Wha-wait! You idiot, you were supposed to leave them for _tomorrow_! They call it Boxing Day for some reason, y-you idiot, aargh, why did it have to be like this, oh Fates-"

Alfred ran up to him, wrapping him in an unabashed hug and lifting him above his head, blue eyes glossing over with tears as their eyes met.

"Your writing has gotta stop being so nice," he mumbled, his throat getting a little choked. "I'm not acting manly at all."

"Pfft," Arthur snorted, but looked away bashfully as Alfred let him down. "It wasn't that lovely, for sure. At least compared to what you've done for me these past few months."

"Hey, as a royal kid I can throw as many of those as I want," Alfred said, touching Arthur's face softly and brushing back a strand of his hair behind his ears. "But this…it's all mine, right?"

Arthur nodded, muttering an 'of course' under his breath, but his stomach flitted with butterflies at Alfred's elation. Naturally, he had poured as many thoughts as he could in one letter written all alone, but for him to love it so much…

"It's not a one time thing." he affirmed, entwining Alfred's hand with his own.

"It came from you, and that's all I need," Alfred said shyly, rubbing the back of his neck cutely. "But…just one thing, Artie."

"It's _Arthur_ ," he half heartedly complained, but moved to stand so close to the other boy that their noses were touching. "But what is it?"

"I was gonna ask you for a kiss, but it looks like ya got the memo," Alfred grinned sheepishly, and Arthur could only internally curse himself for falling in love with the dorkiest person on the planet.

"You are going to be the death of me, dearest," Arthur said breathlessly before they met, his arms fumbling around his waist to support him and falling into the same small, secure position that Alfred and Alfred alone could give him.

Until, of course, Anna came through the door and squealed so loud that she would have woken up half the palace if it wasn't Christmas season.

* * *

 _Mon dieu_ means ' (oh) my god' in french. i know this because my french teacher uses this phrase eight times per lesson - and since swiss and liech do use french as well, i think the older countries, like diamonds and clubs, would retain another language other than hearts and spades, the more 'modern' countries.

* * *

replies

 _shooketh_ \- i am concerned at the amount of earthquakes that seem to happen where you're at

 _russia says hello (? i think?)_ \- alfred just probably jumped into the love ball at his own accord when he saw that arthur was the trainer pfft.

 _pastaaddict_ \- more realistic expectations for S/O's incoming, i promise

 _vivadragnire -_ i think they might instigate a permanent ban from the kitchen. and i see what you're getting at lmao

 _n kukurichan_ \- you've hacked my computer again - how do you do it? it's amazing haha. and yes, we'll be getting insight into how emma and alfonso are doing in the next few chapters, definitely. (and omg yes they are, i thought it was kind of a small detail but you got it! and for your brother i have like 134 tanks of holy water on standby so)

 _hearthorse11_ \- i'll message them if you want to fite them irl. and what scene - i have no memory :')

* * *

 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	76. Closer

this thing is 4k words jesus

yeah so storytime before the story, kids. slept at nine yesterday, woke up at 5am then wrote 1.5k. came back and spleurghed (it's a word now OK) out 3k...

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

 _"_ _Just wait for me, Arthur. Just a little longer. I get it if you think it's too long, but…just until after everything's cooled down. I want you to have everything after that."_

Nothing could disturb Arthur's happiness for the next few days after Christmas night. He had remembered Alfred's tender, passionate words as if he had just said them to him, but unfortunately the prince and Matthew had been very busy in the days afterwards due to something with Hearts. The story that Jack Yao had been telling them in the past few days was that in lieu of the Hearts coronation – who, had frustratingly enough, still not released the winner of their Deciding – Gilbert had wanted to come over to the kingdom as his younger brother, the King of Hearts, had welcomed him previously. However, with the amplifier issue from Diamonds that had happened during the Trials, they had struck a deal for both Jokers, Katya and Gilbert, to come investigate what had happened and how the rebels had stolen from the pile. Hence, apparently, he would be staying in Spades until the day of the coronation on January the second.

Arthur couldn't help but be relieved that Matthew was away as he knew his stupid conscience couldn't help but shoot him an excited gaze. After all, he was spending so much time with his brother, and he felt that it was way overdue the last time Gilbert and Matthew had spent any sort of time together. He had wanted to send an excited message to the Ace, but quickly realized that he had already knew.

 _Alfred's making my mind all frazzled,_ he cursed himself internally, hating the way he noticed his behaviour had changed ever since that night. _I can't even think straight anymore…_

It had started with the same night – he had found himself pressing his fingertips to his lips more than once like some stupid lovesick idiot. At first he was concerned that it was itching and he had caught some horrible sickness, but the morning after, straight after he had bolted to the mirror, he felt absolutely nothing.

That is, until he thought back to the kiss he and Alfred had shared the night before, and a tingling came back, almost as if he could taste the scent of pine and apples that had been lingering on his skin that evening when he crashed into his room…

Blushing furiously, he had quickly slipped on the clothes Anna had left hanging on the towel rack – bless her, she knew Arthur would misplace even the neatest of folded clothes – and prepped himself for Alfred's arrival, which never happened that morning.

Even though it was only the 30th, the Christmas decorations had been hastily taken down, as well as the hulking tree, and it had been like it had never happened, save for the little presents that Arthur had yet to open as he had been antsy waiting for a reply from his family.

The presents weren't numerous, and he had discussed something about a present opening until he realized that Alfonso had opened them on the 25th and Emma correctly on Boxing Day. He'd promised himself he'd do it as soon as his family replied…

* * *

However, Anna, as attentive to him as she always was, pulled him down for a quick distraction. It had first started off as a harmless conversation about clothes and Arthur fretting over his very blue wardrobe, but it was clear that she was thinking a little further than everyday wear.

"No, you can't wear that to any sort of thing you're planning for anytime soon," Anna said, laughing. "A simply thing you wear to every day events isn't enough to make his jaw drop.

"But what do I do, It's technically supposed to be within the rules and expectations of this stupid contest," Arthur grumbled, but couldn't really place much venom into the words. He let his gaze drift over the garments festooned onto his hangers in his large closet.

Anna's mouth thinned, and she gently grasped a trench coat – one of the shorter ones, mind you – from Arthur's grip. She seemed to try to place it back into his wardrobe, but a second thought made her poised hand pause, coming to stand beside where he had now paced to the window, watching the snow with him.

"Hey. I'm sure that His Highness doesn't like the process as much as the media likes to say he does," she said firmly. "The Deciding's all anyone can talk about ever since that Broadcast and the Hearts's one completely. Practically every paper and TV station has a section or slot devoted to it daily. If he were to cancel the process or drag it out, it would be bad for his reputation."

"After all of this…tension and drama, I'm not sure if he even will have a good future with me. I'm worried about how he'll fare…" Arthur trailed off.

"It's a huge choice he has to make, I suppose – and a large one at that. Trying to pick a soulmate out of thirty people. But you did mention that you wanted to step it up a little, and if you want to go a little further for him, you're going to need some help from me."

Arthur paused, turning from the window, seeing his maid's familiar, knowing smirk fall onto her face.

"Come on, Your Soon To Be Highness, We're going down to mingle with _my_ friends – so we can try to meet your fancy standards?"

"I don't have any of them! Anything you've made is absolutely stunning, but it's just a thought I had, that's all."

"Judging from last night, Sir Arthur, I doubt it," she said playfully. "It's only natural you want to impress the object of your affections."

"His Highness has been busy with work these past few days, I only to spend some quality time with him afterwards," Arthur said, trying not to sound too determined.

"Well, I was thinking of possibly a few months into the future," she sang, "But all right. I'll see if your family's sent back any post, but it's only two days left to the New Year! Come on, you."

* * *

The room was completely packed with maids and butlers alike, all clothed in similar attired but just enough difference in their hair and facial expressions.

"Anna!" someone called around the front, and the rest of the room echoed her. "Welcome back, you!"

"Not like you to be in so late at night," one of the younger maids sitting in front of a sewing machine exclaimed. "Are you here to help fill in for Jamie?"

"What about him? Didn't he find some new bit of work to do?" Anna called back jokingly, while Arthur awkwardly followed. "Anyway, I've brought Sir Arthur down here today. He was thinking about a new garment."

Feeling that he should at his maid's expectant gaze, he stepped forward awkwardly, waving once.

The room almost erupted.

The maid in front of the sewing machine stood up immediately – suddenly appearing a little shorter than Arthur had envisioned her to be, auburn braids swinging underneath her cap.

"Sir…Sir Arthur! S-So sorry to be so impolite! I'm…my name's Jordan! Uhm, it's really a huge pleasure to meet you in person! I hope you and the prince are getting it on – n, NO, getting on very well!" she blustered, before Anna smiled, slightly embarrassed, and clapped a firm hand against the younger girl's shoulder in warning.

"Umm, nice to meet you too, Miss Jordan," Arthur said, feeling slightly mortified. She sounded ever so blunt – and what did she say about them getting it on? Getting _what_ on? Becoming friendlier?

At that moment, Anna decided it was the best course of action to remove both embarrassed parties from the situation.

" _Right,_ right, Arthur, here are the fabric rolls we choose from to make the garments," Anna continued, literally pulling him out of his confused daze.

"Do I just choose what I'd like?" he asked, perplexed at the large spread of material.

They ranged from the deepest, wine red velvet, to the lightest coloured chiffon white, some carefully stacked in piles of folded, crease free fabric draped over tubes in order to keep them straight whereas some fabrics were carefully rolled and spare spools for the sewing machines were stacked neatly in little, see through boxes. Mannequins and measuring tapes were strewn over the small corner of resources, and Arthur caught a glimpse of a butler carefully holding out a torn jacket for a seamstress to repair as he edged past them.

"Well, yes," she said, watching him sift through the material with a neurotic like gleam in her eye. "But since we're not finding a new shirt for your or the sort, we're going to have to take a better fit this time, I think. Better material as well – but if you don't want to, then…"

"No, I guess what you'd have in mind would certainly be a change. "If you know how to really impress the prince this time around…" he did his best to keep his voice down in case of unwanted attention.

But still, he swore that he heard a squeal from the left – Jordan, perhaps? – but Anna had leaned back on a cork top and was observing him with a bemused expression, her arms folded over her chest.

"Go on," she chided. "If – er, especially when you're going to be queen, female or male fashion sense is still going to be pretty darn important either way! The press is going to be all over you like that, and if I'm going to be still be with you even after this whole thing, I can't lose!"

"Of course," Arthur said, feeling reassured, "But what do you have in mind?"

"Well, then…I'm thinking of a dress," Anna said cheerfully. "What?" she said, taking in his surprised expression. "You _have_ worn one before…but not to impress the prince. What do you think?"

"I guess a dress is a new change," Arthur said haltingly. "But I don't suppose another coat would be acceptable?"

"I was thinking a longer one with a darker shade of blue – _royal_ blue this time, hmm?" she offered, pointing to a roll of the soft leather stuff. "A trench coat, like the one you wore in the summer – but for winter. That all right with you?"

Arthur gently touched it, it was almost soft as butter yet held the scent of leather as prominent as he had ever experienced it. Of course, his old jacket was a little lighter as he was a little doubtful at his ability to wear such a colour…

The sensation of leather, however, made it – rather confusingly, _agh_ – think of Alfred yet again. His bomber jacket, wrapped around his shoulders and the furry cuff smelling so much like him…

Arthur ducked his head, turning red as he faced Anna again. He had a little idea of what he wanted to do…

* * *

"Got some mail for you! Pick it up on your way back, but go do whatever you need to first – I'll be finishing up your clothes tonight. Sleep safe," Anna said fondly, ruffling his hair. "You're going to go out there and knock the socks off him tomorrow."

"I hope that's not literal," Arthur said, but squeezed her hands. "I…really, this means a lot to me, Anna. Thank you very much."

"Hey, it's good that I get to help you more than just cheering for you," she smiled from ear to ear. "Just leave it to me!"

With a hint of excitement, Arthur collected the thick envelope from the butler who was standing next to her sewing station, then started to make his way up towards his room before he paused slightly, to the passageway of the gardens.

Purloining a silver lantern and a set of matches from a guard, who seemed a little reluctant but nevertheless did give it to him, he made his way out into the snow feeling relatively warm. He forgot everything, from his unopened presents, how Leon and Kiku were spending the evening, to Alfred's mouth moving against his, Alfred's strong arms pressing him flush against walls and melding their bodies as close as possible together, the softness of his wheat coloured hair, the smouldering gazes that burnt with a passion that Arthur couldn't understand completely as to _why_ he would direct to him…

 _Idiot!_ Arthur cried out internally, shaking his head. _Idiot, idiot, idiot. Stop thinking about him!_

Creaking open the door to the outhouse, he placed the lantern onto the seat of the swing and held the letter a little closer to the seat. It was a little weird to be sitting on the smooth stone floor in a fancy set of pants and a green double breasted jacket. Even though Anna spoiled him in such a way that could only be shown through his carefully made clothes and their daily jokes, he still felt a little self conscious wearing such elaborate clothes for someone of a higher status.

 _But that's not going to be true for much longer_ , he thought internally as he worked to open the letter from his family, addressed to him through what was clearly Cormac's embellished writing – it wasn't as slapdash as Allistor's nor as slanted as Erin or Christian's, and Arthur seriously doubted they would let Dylan write it, bless him. _Whatever happens during now, nothing's going to be different, right?_

Erin had always kept a close eye on the lives of the women that had been invited to Alfred's father's Deciding. Apparently many of them had been married quickly and to very wealthy and prominent husbands, some even to wives in Spades and Hearts that were in close high society and lived in the Inner Circles. He had only remembered her saying something about a single person marrying for someone that she had known before the process.

To him, it felt like that if he was going to leave, he would become one of them. He didn't know anyone that he'd been interested romantically in before the Deciding, and now with his relationship with Alfred, he wasn't sure if he could enter in a relationship so quickly that feelings would be reciprocated on both of their sides. Arthur just didn't want his family to worry about what happened…

Taking a breath and exhaling, watching it billow out in the cold, he opened up the letter.

 _Hello Arthur!_

 _Allistor here – Erin's taken a little bit ill with the sniffles this week. She got kind of shouty when I offered to write it for her the first time and started throwing pillows at me, then at Christian as he joined in._

 _But she's subdued a bit when I promised that I'd let her write a bit at the end._

 _Enough faff about the prince, how are_ _ **you?**_ _I hope it's not as bad at the palace, even though you're a little up north compared to us. It's not that awful here – no one's caught, thank the Fates – just Erin. She was all worried about Dylan, but he's terribly active, the wee bairn. Comes in after grocery shopping with Christian with his cheeks as red like a cherub on our Christmas tree._

 _That's right, we've managed to afford a tree this year, thanks to you. The compensation from the holding facilities wasn't even half of what we get every month. This might just be stupid, talking about money, but I just want to thank you. Right, we might tease and everything, but I'm just happy that you got to find happiness with the prince through that bleeding process we had to put you through. And I'm still sorry about that._

 _Never mind. You can yell at me the next time we see each other. But I guess this is where I have to talk about the prince and stuff. Is he treating you well? Just remember, Artiekins, that even if he's the prince that doesn't mean he's entitled to anything. From Halloween, I trust that he's a good fella. But again…the caning happened straight after. He didn't have any control over it, I suppose? He's young. I'm guessing he's afraid. Having the whole country under his rule when he's only – what? Nineteen? Twenty? That's stress, Artie._

 _I just want to say – if you do become queen, and I know you will. We watched your Trials, and it just seemed so…natural. The other two were nice, but the two of you just seemed to work so well, and that's just what we need in a partnership. I admire his will; he seems to still be following his heart and not letting some idiots at the top to start bothering him. But you've seen Erin, and the things that have happened to her. Those boys grew tired of her – and what I'm trying to say is that under that stress of running a country at such a young age can break things. Love is strong in the bonds they forge, Arthur, but it can weaken you._

 _Don't forget that princes bleed and hurt like normal men._

 _He isn't ethereal, or a perfect human being, just because he's a prince. Right, Prince Alfred might seem just wonderful at the start, but you did tell us that you've had arguments before. I don't think that'll stop – in fact, that'll only get worse as time goes on. But don't doubt yourself. That's all, really._

 _Final-_

The text was scrawled out, followed by a series of jagged, skewered lines that ended with a rip in the paper. Erin's handwriting, funnily enough, followed.

 _Hello Artiekins! Did you know that our older brother is a real piece of work? Thinks his mildly sister can't get up from her bed, thwack him with her pillow and snatch a fountain pen. I hope he won't fight too much…_

 _But yeah. Allistor might be a bit cynical on a few bits, but I'm going to have to say that he's finally starting to write a handful of good points. I'm all for you two getting married (hurry up and do the proposing for him if he doesn't pick up that gorgeous face of his and GET TO WORK) but there's a lot of things that you have to be careful of. I know that my failed love life has kind of made you really cautious, and I can see why you've been so resilient, but you also have to learn to open up sometimes. Holding back isn't always so good._

 _And I think, that despite everything, Prince Alfred's a pretty good guy. I'm not just saying that because he's cute or the two of you are so adorable (marry please or just kiss more thanks), but he's not giving up on you. Yes, you can be a tough cookie. And even though he knows that, he's still all for you. And I kind of admire that resilience._

 _Fates, almost got some snot on the paper. I guess that's my cue to go, Artie. Please, look after yourself and have a Happy Christmas. You don't have to come home, just have a good time and stay true to yourself. Don't do anything reckless to impress the prince, just by the way he looks at you during those weekly Broadcast updates I can tell._

 _Lots of love, Erin_

 _psst allistor wrote 80% of this from what i can see. allistor pls shut up erin and drink that soup when you come back from work. thank_

\- _buy birthday gift for chris jan 18_ _th_

 _wait this is the letter for artie shit i might want to erase that_

On that lovely note – with the same arching script that Cormac printed in - the letter ended, and Arthur was left breathless again.

* * *

He'd left the outhouse now, making his way amongst the roses in the gardens, and was still lost in thought. At least it wasn't snowing tonight...

But the darkness and tranquility of the night really gave him space to think compared to the lights of the palace. The blue roses were still vivid in their bloom, only dusted with a few hints of snow, and were as beautiful to look at as ever.

"What happened to enough faff about the prince?" he muttered to himself, rubbing his forearms. He'd been sitting out there for at least ten minutes, which was rather long even though he was a very fast reader... "That letter was all about our relationship again."

As Arthur walked though, he realized that Allistor had made him really think again, about their status of their relationship. With Anna so heavily hinting on an engagement, Alfred's solemn words about the New Years engagement, and the news from Hearts, it was clear that Alfred would propose to someone very soon.

 _Princes bleed and hurt like normal men._ The whipping, again. Even though his brother didn't know about it, Arthur felt his words resonate painfully in his chest.

Did Arthur want to be the one Alfred chose? Allistor had pointed out the pressure that would be on his shoulders if he was chosen to be queen. At only eighteen – nineteen, in April – he'd be one of four rulers of Spades. And that was rather frightening. A leader of a country – was he even worthy of the job, just because he had fallen in love with Alfred so?

"Arthur!" With a shout in the distance, he whipped around, lantern dangling precariously from his finger as he thrust it out warily.

And bless him, a rosy cheeked Alfred appeared, wearing his royal jacket and a pair of jodhpurs, which were definitely not fit for the weather they were in, but he was panting as he approached him. Running, maybe? The whipping came back to him. What if he had aggravated his wounds?

"Arthur…Artie, what are you doing here?" he said, brushing off his hair that had been sweeping too much into his right eye. "It's freezing out here!"

" _Arthur_ ," he reprimanded, but Arthur's eyes softened as Alfred bent down, obviously being dramatic for his enthusiasm. "And I thought you were on business?"

"Nah, just a lot of calls from King Francis from Diamonds," he said, offering a crooked smile. "He likes to talk a lot, but Joker Gilbert's en route and should come by the first week of the New Year. They were even planning a birthday celebration…but never mind. I just was thinkin' of going to the blacksm – _uh_ , t-taking out Butterscotch, you know…then saw you just in the gardens by your lonesome and you know me, I got worried."

"You know by now that there's no need for that," Arthur sighed, but relaxed the arm holding the lantern, letting it fall a little lower. "I can walk around a garden by myself."

"True," he said, grinning cheesily. "But I do worry about 'cha. Hey – you cold?"

"It's just a little bit chilly-" Arthur said, hoping that the cold flush around his cheeks and nose wouldn't be too prominent against the lantern, but by then Alfred had removed his jacket and wrapped it around his shoulders with a flourish.

"What are you-"

"I'm being a hero," Alfred smiled, bending down in such an exaggerated fashion that made Arthur laugh as he pressed warm kisses to his knuckles. " _Milady-_ "

"You did not," Arthur gaped in fake astonishment. "You're paying for that comment!"

"Aww, how?"

"…a walk in the gardens with me. Right now. _And_ you're not allowed to have your jacket with you, since it was your own stupid idea to give it to me," Arthur said, but slipped his free hand into the sleeves of his long sleeved shirt anyway, checking to see if his hand was cold. No, it was fine…

"Whatever makes you happy," Alfred sang. With the prickly teasing that he had mentioned in the note he got for Christmas, he realized that he wouldn't change Arthur for the world. The way his eyes sparkled with mirth and creases appeared when he was smiling…he wouldn't trade it for the world.

 _You do, idiot,_ Arthur thought endearingly as he squeezed Alfred's hand and they wandered around the gardens together, just like they had when they were a little more foolish but as much in love as they were now.

 _But, in the end, I do want you to choose me. Above everything..._

* * *

i was thinking of writing a gift fic but we'll see

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replies

 _vivadragnire_ \- not quite back yet for prucan tho! i have a few loose ends to tie up then maybe. nah there is i promise!

 _russia says hello_ \- me too, i say as i put off writing the coronation scene lmao

 _guest -_ ah no, thank you very much! i only used the power of assumption since one of switzerland's four official languages is french and i thought that would apply to liech as well. the land/map's not exactly labelled out using the one we have in real life, but that's a sore mistake on my part even so. thanks for fact checking me!

 _pastaaddict_ \- with her timings i think she has a built in usuk alarm clock. i want one too

 _francestan_ \- yes. have all the angst. also my updating schedule is getting worse so i'm not sure, but thank you ;o;

 _hearthorse11_ \- haha that's fine! i'm late with this update so it cancels itself out - and congrats to your grandparents! and i don't know about my life either so no sweat...haha

 _n kukuri chan -_ yup. i felt that they were lacking in screentime so then i decided to add a bit of a shoutout to them! even thoguh i don't feel like emphasis on rochu will be placed anytime soon, i think that it needed some sort of attention. / pfft really though, he does sound a bit like the bard. oops

and i'm honoured! i love putting in those little references. seriously, if we were to annotate the fic (all, er, 220k+ of it) there would just be so much foreshadowing. and cringe haha. (PS: care to share what the hunch is? ;)

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 _ **reviews** **, favourites and follows are wha** **t will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	77. Where You Belong

this kind of includes the last thing i have to tie up. major plotpoint coming up next week :)

 _edit, 6th june:_ finished up a loose end (oops, it was the bit about ivan that didn't paste correctly.) also added replies!

finally: i was a butt and kinda changed the name - it was supposed to be for a future chapter. fixed that!

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 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

 _The day before New Year's Eve._

Alfred and Matthew had their last bout of talks with Francis, but without Gilbert for some reason. Francis had said he'd been going to investigate a mining site in the north as they had reported some sort of new spike in rubies thought to be triggered by some magic, then before long he had said that he was on a train en route to Spades, much to the chagrin of the two.

The palace itself was in a flurry of preparation ( _again_ , Matthew thought), where they had been setting up for the celebrations tonight. He had gone down to the square yesterday, doing a spot of supervising work as they laid barriers and started setting up the square, and Matthew had chatted up a few people running the stores. He had left with a cheerful expression and a new flower placed there by a flower seller.

Alfred had come out as well with the rest of the Elite for around two hours or so, and were met with raucous cheers as Matthew was checking around the stands, which signaled their arrival. He stood with a young lady running a stall selling some foods, and watched fondly as Alfred bent down to talk to a little girl, and stifling a laugh as she called out to Arthur and wrapped her arms around his legs.

Lady Emma and Sir Alfonso seemed at ease with the people as well, Lady Emma giving people advice on what to wear with an animated expression and even more animated gestures – Matthew (well, the cameras included) even caught Alfonso help a baker lift some heavy loaves of bread. Alfred and Arthur were naturally entertaining a small crowd of children that the girl and no doubtedly their parents had called over.

Before long, though, Arthur had beckoned him over and took him to one side, and they exchanged a few words about Gilbert's arrival in Spades before they slipped back into their roles – but one thing that struck Matthew was how natural he seemed. He didn't think of it as a menial task, but rather an expression of elation was on his face as he held a little boy with fiery hair in a hug, not even minding as the boy put his hands in his hair and tugged playfully. Matthew caught Alfred's tender expression as he coaxed the child away from Arthur's hair, and didn't miss the softened glance Arthur gave him as Alfred kissed his hand gently and asked if any sort of damage had been caused – but as he knew his brother knew, there hadn't been and he just needed an excuse to flirt.

But he supposed that Gilbert would have done the same if it were the two of them, and noticing that it was nearly six, quickly finished his final checks, said a few sentences for the cameras and the upcoming Broadcast for tonight, said goodbye to his brother and the Elite, and began to prepare to welcome Gilbert into Spades. Yao didn't have him prepare a speech as his stay wasn't exactly supposed to be public other than a message on the Broadcast as thanks from Diamonds later that evening, so he took the time to try to calm his racing heart and perfect his appearance before rushing out the door in haste.

And that's why Matthew was awkwardly standing on a platform with a single servant in the cold, waiting for some yellow steam train to appear in the still – empty station. He knew Alfred had something coming up that he refused to name, and so he had volunteered to do it. Well, one thing was trying to reduce both Alfred and Yao's stress, but he also wanted to be the first one to greet Gilbert after so long.

"Are you cold, Your Highness?" the servant asked, tilting a little on her pressed shoes.

"No, miss, I'm all right," he said, trying his best to keep his tone from being dismissive. "If you want, you may sit inside the waiting booth…"

She definitely looked relieved at that, scurrying in and closing the door of the booth with a small noise. Then Matthew was by himself, waiting tersely and staring at the large, rimmed blue clock ticking down to eight o'clock. Alfred was going to do the unnamed thing at tomorrow, but he surely needed his help, and it was already seven fifty three…

However, with a loud roar like a sharp burst of noise, he could see a small yellow dot as if it was a drop of paint in a dull canvas, appear and get bigger and bigger, until it was on the platform and drowned out his lonely thoughts.

As it arrived, Matthew could faintly hear the door of the waiting booth open and his maid scurrying to her place behind him, but from the moment he heard that snicker, it drowned out everything else in his peripheral vision.

He tried to keep himself still as Gilbert, swathed in black and red furs, exited the car of the train. The snow hadn't treated him as well as the summer had – gone was his sweatshirt and flicking tail, to be replaced by a long, black coat lined with red fur with the tip of his tail peeking out of it. He held some sort of cane, with a crow's face carved as a head – and was wearing his ring. The matching amethyst gleamed in the winter sun.

Matthew sucked in a breath as their eyes met, pale red to violet, and the Joker couldn't help but send him a smirk before scooping up Gilbird's cage and nodding to his attendants, who held a yellow suitcase each, probably courtesy of Diamonds.

"Your Highness, the Ace Matthew," he greeted, leaning low and taking Matthew's gloved hand in his own. "It is a pleasure to be in Spades again." he slid off his glove, pressing a kiss to it, sending a rolling nimbus of warmth stemming from there.

"Th…the pleasure is all ours, Joker Gilbert," Matthew said, cursing his stutter. "Please, we must go to our carriage. It is getting cold."

"I hope you haven't been freezing out here," Gilbert muttered as their servants went forward to assist with helping out with the carriage and his luggage. "…Birdie."

Matthew turned a little red, but desperately resisted the urge to kiss his lover. "That nickname again?! Nevertheless, waiting for you was worth it."

"Let's get you warm and toasty later," he grinned underneath his breath. "I happen to know a few ways in how to do that."

"Cut off your flirting, Joker," Matthew snorted. "I'm not tumbling into bed with you so quickly. You're here for your brother and not for me."

"Who says, Matthew?" Gilbert continued, giving his hand a quick squeeze. "Why do I have to commit to just my brother? My lover is important to me as well."

"Francis has rubbed off of you too much, dearest," Matthew said softly, looking straight ahead as they approached the carriage. His mentor had always been the flirtatious type, and it showed no signs of stopping…"With the ways you have kissed me without explicitly doing so, and flirting with wild abandon. I wonder what else you'll try to do in these few days?"

"Try me," Gilbert said, and Matthew realized that it might have been a mistake as Gilbert ran in front of him like a child, jumped onto the carriage and offered him his hand, which Matthew, like the lovesick fool he was, took it.

With the servants being outside of the carriage, manning it, Gilbert grasped his face eagerly and Matthew pulled at his clothes. For the rest of the journey, which he had expected would be tame hand holding underneath all the fabric at the best, Gilbert kissed him with a hint of desperation and Matthew reciprocated all the fiercer, relearning the shapes and sensations of the boy that he so adored.

Until, of course, the windows of the carriage steamed up so badly that they resorted to drawing shapes, polar bears, and horribly cheesy messages that made Matthew laugh so hard that he doubled over.

* * *

"It's been a while, Gilb – uh, Joker Gilbert," Alfred said, trying his best to keep up appearances at the dinner table (failing miserably, obviously). "What's up in Diamonds?"

"Sorry I can't say too much on _how_ we're working, Alfie boy," Gilbert grinned, but ruffled his hair from the seat he was in. "But we're doing better with the winter than last year. Since the trade deal we secured with Hearts over the grain, we're able to avoid a famine this year."

"I'm glad to hear that," Yao said warmly. As Gilbert's senior, he had an air of authority as always, but there was more friendliness in his tone as he knew how close the youngest Joker was to the brother and Katya. "King Francis does know we are more than happy to provide food if needed like last year, yes? You are unfortunate to catch most of the cold from Clubs in recent years."

"Hm, Jack Vash has shared his concerns about that, but we'll definitely talk if we have to. We haven't forgotten the debt we owe since last year." Gilbert's tone had taken a formal tone, and the Elite could only shift around awkwardly in their seats, not sure how to join in.

"Well, Joker Gilbert," Matthew said, placing down his fork. "New Year is going to be upon us soon, I wonder if you saw the decorations we put up around the city as we passed by?" _No, I know you didn't as I was smothering you with affection on our way back to the palace._

"Yeah, definitely!" Gilbert said, with a knowing grin that betrayed what he knew to only Matthew. "Are you planning fireworks this year? I mean, with the Elite around, you should have something special, Al. Are you three interested?"

Arthur, Emma and Alfonso quickly sat up straight, Arthur wiping off the remnants of apple juice from the corner of his mouth.

"Um, yes, of course, Joker Gilbert," Arthur said, feeling a bit self conscious. "That is, if the prince graciously allows us to."

"I know he'll make a good party nonetheless!" Alfonso said cheerfully, nodding in Alfred's direction. Emma smiled prettily, and did the same, adding how excited she was for the event.

"Aw, don't overestimate me. But I'll definitely do my best, because Gil said so. Nah, I'm pulling your strings," he joked, and Matthew found the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile. "But yeah. This year is really important for all of us, I think."

General consensus echoed around the table, and for a few moments the party continued on eating in silence. However, before long, a butler came up to Jack Yao's side, saying a few things in his ear that no one else could really catch. It had to be important, though, as he was turning around and feverishly directing his gaze to the clock.

"All right, everyone, I've been reminded that the Broadcast takes place in around half an hour. If I can have everyone's approval, may I request dinner be wrapped up in ten minutes? It wouldn't be good to be tardy for an appearance. Joker Gilbert, if you wouldn't mind as a guest…"

"No problemo," he said lightly, stuffing his cut of bread into his mouth and swallowing loudly as he spoke. "'M going to get my official stuff right after this soup…"

Matthew couldn't help but laugh out loud at that, although the others quickly joined in. Fates, why was he such a _dork_?

* * *

"Hey, Matt," Alfred said right after the maids took their plates. The two brothers were the only ones left in the dining room after the Elite had left to get ready after Gilbert. Yao had taken off shortly, precisely twenty minutes before the Broadcast like he'd said he would, and came back down after five to warn them before dashing off again, probably to get his papers.

"Al?"

"Gil looks pretty good, yeah?" his brother said, placing his fork and spoon together neatly on the soup bowl – thank _Fates_ he had some semblance of manners, Matthew thought internally – before pushing back on his chair – never mind, Matthew groaned. "I mean, Diamonds winter's been ruined by Clubs ever since the war they had. Probably Ivan's doing, heh."

"Alfred, stop putting your feud with King Ivan in every single conversation we have involving Clubs," Matthew sighed, but nodded. "He's doing rather well, and I'm relieved."

"Look, I'm sorry about that," Alfred hurriedly amended. "But gah, Ivan just strikes me the wrong way, yeah? Those purple eyes, the way he tries to act all innocent and friendly…Matt, you just can't trust him. Once you turn your back he's gonna go insane."

"He's just a little frightening sometimes, but we all know that he doesn't mean to," Matthew tried, but the fierce expression on his twin's expression told him that the relationship between the King of Clubs and the Prince - well, soon to be King, hopefully - of Spades was completely unsalvageable. What had happened between them?

"Anyway, Alfred. I'm going to have to bring him down to see Katya soon. She worries."

"I can help you with that," Alfred offered, but Matthew quickly brushed him off with a pat to the shoulder.

"Hey, you have the thing to plan for tomorrow. I guess you have lots on your plate – unless, you tell me what you're thinking of doing, eh?"

"Uh," Alfred said awkwardly, turning a little red. "I was thinking, of, uh, you know."

"No, I don't know," Matthew said exasperatedly. "Spit it out, brother."

"Okay, okay – I was, thinking of uh, maybe asking Arthur tomorrow night, you know, New Years? I was gonna, uh, ask him to m-"

"Boys!" Yao had reappeared, now with a stack of papers in his arms, his ponytail swinging as he appeared through the door. "Thank Duchess you've finished your meal. Now go and get dressed in your formal wear, we're live in ten minutes!"

Matthew and Alfred exchanged a glance, and a little seed of disappointment rested in his head as Alfred never got to tell him what he wanted to do. But from what he _did_ say, it seemed like he was set on ending the Deciding soon.

The first thought that sprung into his head was offering his aid to his brother, but quickly remembered that Gilbert would be leaving as soon as the New Years and Hearts would be calling for him as soon as the harshest snows had stopped. He had to do as much as he could with their snatched time together…

And of course, if he were truly ending it, then he would be planning a wedding proposal as of now. To that, Matthew had no sort of counsel or assistance that he could give. Yes, Gilbert secretly gave him a ring months before, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. It certainly didn't mean a formal engagement or a wedding to come right after like Alfred and his queen's would be.

Finally, wasn't it quite a private matter? Matthew suspected that Yao was also told that he had something to do in the next day, on New Years Eve, but he trusted his brother enough to know there were not many secrets between the two of them. A wedding proposal should surely be the most intimate of affairs. Sticking his nose in, as Alfred loved to do all the time, would be bad for both of them.

Scraping back his chair like his brother had, Matthew folded his napkin and made his way up to the room. Broadcast night, and he wanted to go over his speeches before he could go anywhere near that set. At least Alfred was doing his Deciding segment again…

* * *

"Joker Gilbert will be helping on giving us insight into the issue of the Joker rebels. Even though their activity around our borders has significantly slowed down, in this time of winter we are still worried about the very real possibility of a strike. Thus, we advise everyone to please be aware and notify the palace immediately if you suspect anything or see anything. Thank you for your time," Matthew finished, to clapping from the audience that they had managed to gather and admit. Usually there would be a lot more, but since the preparations for the New Year had started, there would be a lot less people ready to sit through a whole Broadcast, even less if there wasn't a Deciding going on.

But since there _was_ , the room was still partly packed – there were mostly more younger people compared to older people, but still, Matthew couldn't see the back of the room in the harsh light.

He sat down into the seat between Yao and Gilbert; since he was a special guest and had dressed up for the occasion anyway they made a place for him. Matthew knew it was far too public a place to engage in any sort of romantic interaction, but they did share an occasional comment together. They did have a friendship in public like Alfred and Gilbert did, so there shouldn't be any suspicion born from there…

Still, now there was cheering and whispers among the crowd as Alfred got up from his chair, spoke a few words with the Elite, pausing to share a word and a hug with Yao before making his way to the stage with a small brown notebook clutched in his hands. He seemed a little more relaxed today than other days, and his stance was confident as he started to speak.

"Good evening, all citizens of Spades. As we have previously talked about in different segments of the Broadcast, the Deciding has been going on for quite a few months now, and we in Spades have also received the news of the Hearts Deciding ending."

Murmurs in the audience broke out, and Matthew silently willed his twin to continue speaking. He had a bad habit of trying to pick up what people were saying about them…

"That is to say, I now know that there will be a definite coronation and a wedding in the New Year." Mutterings now sprung up, and Alfred struggled a little to project his voice. "We will keep you all updated in the meantime…"

And that was it. With stark surprise written all over his face, Matthew managed to catch his brother's gaze before he walked back to his seat, but it was only for a moment and the flicker of emotion that _did_ pass through his face confused him. It was almost as if…he was waiting. Anticipating it. The expression on his face was bored…

Before he could think much more on it, though, he was ushered out of the Broadcast room and watched as people wrapped up the transmission. He turned to where Gilbert used to be behind him, but the albino boy was gone.

A sense of foreboding caused goosebumps to run up his skin, but the moment he turned around Gilbert was there, running his slender fingers across his shoulder for a heartbeat, giving him a longing gaze before he turned back to Jack Yao. Of course his mentor was showing him his lodgings.

They wouldn't be spending any time with each other tonight.

All other thoughts flying out of his head, Matthew morosely made his way up to his room. There was surely the issue of Alfred and what he was going to do flipping shit with his life, but the loss of Gilbert smarted. And that was the thought that resonated with him as he took off his glasses and buried his face in his pillows.

* * *

 _pastaaddict_ \- me, cackling beneath my notes: denial is the way to go

 _vivadragnire_ \- i appreciate your wait! i have lots of work since summer break's at the end of the month, so my teachers find it prudent to pile lots of essays on me. also - thank you very much!

 _hearthorse11_ \- oh my _goD_ you know me so well lol. no but seriously, i'm trying my best ;D and we'll have a centric chapter on both her and alfonso in the next...um idk but it's definitely on the plot line

 _shookethfan_ \- of the idk year i've known you i have never been unconcerned for your health lmao

 _russia says hello_ \- can i borrow your crystal ball because dANG.

 _spade sama_ \- ! buddy that's incredible. it's almost 230k words. thank you for sticking around, and i hope to see you around ;v;

 _n kukurichan_ \- first off, this review is a bloomin ~900 words. my god. but yes - tbh i would kill for alfred in my life lmao. so the feeling's definitely mutual! and i do _think_ that kiku would have told him now, but due to customs he's not allowed in order to protect hearts' security - and neither are lud nor feli. and all the way back, arthur didn't mention his name, so yes!

ooh, i feel that anna definitely knows more than she lets on to arthur…he would mortified if he knows how much she's seen (he + alfred are sometimes so distracted they kind of forge there are other people around them). and yes, i feel like that would be primarily part of her duties as a maid, but she does take it further. also - HAHA. as an author, that's my primary job. but it isn't just all bait, i promise.

oh, of course! anna can't really keep her tongue when it comes to the two of them, and i'm sure everyone would like the gossip! jordan probably meant it but didn't mean to blurt it out...

and arthur is hitting those levels after being exposed to a big teddy bear/dork/aph america/etc. his family seems to feel the same - and idk it's so satisfying that you got to remember the past events (i sound like my english teacher blast). and i don't know, i feel that his family is there to kind of keep him anchored. even though it's been a bit of a whirlwind, arthur's still rather levelheaded.

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 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	78. Is In My Arms

this chapter is gross fluff. i got to the scene where they meet up and just wrote...4k words

also! plot point. no more filler LMAO

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

New Years' Eve.

Alfred made his last trip to the blacksmith's that day after he went on a date with Emma and Alfonso in the morning. Somehow, he felt like he had owed them one for quite a while, so they went to the cinema installed at the lower north wing of the palace. It had been a pretty epic movie, one with lots of action and funny one liners, and Alfred found himself relaxing a little as they passed around popcorn and jokes.

After that, he waved goodbye to the two of them, and made his way to the west wing, finding him at his bench hard at work. It took a few knocks for him to notice him, and he was welcomed inside in a hurry.

"I've fixed up a few more options for you, based on your prompt," he said cheerfully as Alfred sat down on the small bench. The heat from the smelting furnace was definitely heaven in winter…

"Did you get the box I sent you?" he asked, shifting his legs a little more to give the blacksmith more space. "I'm sorry I couldn't give it in in person, we had to receive the Diamonds Joker yesterday night along with a Broadcast segment we had to do the other day…"

"No worries, no worries. I understand that you're very busy, Your Highness. I've put fifteen of them – I've asked a fellow Diamonds colleague to come down with the Joker. He's changed a bit of the colour in the glass that I've cut in a shape that would resemble the actual diamonds, just to save us some funds. I'm sure that Your Highness would want this to be perfect."

"Thank you very much for planning in advance," Alfred said, sounding a little bit breathless. How little did he know about the things that went on behind the scenes?

"It is my duty, Your Highness – and it wasn't really worth the effort. I was thinking something alongside these? You mentioned something about complementing the eye colour, so I decided to go with blue. They _are_ your eye colour, and the queen's eyes are green, so I do think they would complement each other?"

"I know they will," Alfred grinned, childishly excited and fidgeting on his seat. "I trust you, mister!"

"I appreciate it," he said cheerfully, and bustled to the back of the forge to retrieve a massive, sprawling velvet box. In it were nestled no less than fifteen of said rings, all catching the light of the fire in such a way that made them look astounding.

Alfred's breath caught. To imagine the one that he loves, wearing such an entrancing ring like that…call him cheesy or whatever, he thought it the best thing. He wanted to put them onto a pedestal, let everyone know how much he loved them. How much they _deserved_ to be adored.

"All right, Your Highness," he said, twisting open the close and pulling it higher so that the full splendour shone. "I've sorted them into compatible colours for your convenience…"

They were neatly sorted into three colours; three rows of five – one of yellow, the center row one of stained blue, and the last row was filled with rings of red.

"Impressive, hum?" The blacksmith said, taking in his expression of awe. "Well, go on. Pick one up and let's see."

Systematically, he went for the first orange one – it had a dark, ebony carved band, but had a slightly rocky and cool surface to the touch. He ran his finger over the orange glass, feeling the smooth cut of the gem. A golden tinted strip that was carefully polished so that it was almost like a mini band in itself surrounded it.

"What were you planning for the orange gems?"

"I thought at least one orange diamond…but these will be mainly crafted out of topazes and tourmalines since those are easier to get."

"These rings…mister, I don't really know what to say," Alfred stammered, twisting the ring in his fingers. "These are all so stunning…"

"Hm. Would you wear any of these?"

"I'd love to," Alfred said. "But I do suppose I'd want my fiancé to pick mine out for me…"

"Right, well, we'll worry about that later. But please continue to browse, and tell me straight away if you see something that really tickles your fancy, yes?"

* * *

The next two rings were relatively simple, set in a sterling silver ring, one surrounded by what were placeholder diamonds and one that was a little lighter compared to the other two, but had the orange gems in a row of three. The last one had the same dark finishing as the first but it had been smoothened and shone like a freshly washed apple. The gem had also been carved into a little heart shape but the fourth had the pseudo gems dotted all around the band, set firmly.

He briefly imagined the ring, placed amongst a stack of books that Arthur would have definitely got into reading if only he had more time to enjoy the library despite all the celebrations that had been happening recently, with the Christmas events and now the New Years…

"Do you want me to forge anything for the time being? Or do you want to look at the blue rings?"

"How long will it take you to carve the gems?"

"I believe they'll be done before dinner if I can be excused from it – the simpler ones, I can do faster. However, the fourth ring I might need to take until just shortly before dinner." the blacksmith pondered, putting on his forging gloves before continuing to speak. "I suppose, if you're wanting to do something for this evening, you can come after dinner to pick it up. I'll prepare a small box if you'd like."

"I'll send a maid to fetch you whatever food you'd like." Alfred amended, mentally reminding himself to send something a little better for his meal tonight. "But yeah, that would be a great help….and the box, too!"

The blacksmith nodded, amused, and picked up an unfinished project – a rapier, by the looks of it – and went back to work in the heat.

Alfred, on the other hand, started to investigate the blue rings.

* * *

The first one was very simple in its' beauty – a single golden band. The jewel was a lot more complex though, with the ring's golden tones being twisted and melded in between the deep blue and the tones of green present in the pseudo gem.

"Mister, what's this gem supposed to be? I haven't seen it before."

"It's supposed to be azurite," came the reply. "Mighty fine, the stuff. I thought if you were looking for a regal touch since your queen might not have a noble status or live in the Inner Circles, that this could work."

"It's stunning," Alfred whispered under his breath, turning it around in his fingers. "The green and blue is really somethin' else."

"Ah, but you see, I love to experiment with my gems," the blacksmith said. "So does my Diamonds colleague. He has a talent of drawing colours from a set of pigment charts, then holding it in his mind so that they match perfectly. He had a _lot_ of fun with your rings, Your Highness."

"I must compensate both him and you handsomely then," Alfred decided, slipping the beautiful creation back into the velvet folds of the box. "It is such an important project…"

"We'll discuss that later, Your Highness. But for now, please continue looking at them."

"I'd love to," Alfred smiled, picking the second one up.

It was embellished with what he used to see on his mother's jewellery – a circle of tiny sapphires that had to be half the size of a thimble, and a large, princess (at least, that's what the blacksmith said…) cut one in the middle. The hole was a little larger, large enough that Alfred could childishly peek through the hole , but he tried to picture it on Arthur's slenderer fingers. Maybe the heap of jewellery could be too much…

Then he found it. He honed in on the third ring, his eyes bright as he turned it over delicately in his fingers. It had that sterling silver band that some of the other rings had, but the design was a little more complicated – slightly darker blue pseudo gems embedded in the silver band positioned like a tiara with curves in the silver frame. But the crowning jewel – _I know I'm funny_ – was a lighter coloured blue diamond in the middle. It was perfectly exquisite without being too complicated. _Just like Arthur,_ Alfred marvelled.

"Your Highness? Are you all right?" the blacksmith asked, looking up from his work bench, seeing that Alfred had gone silent.

"Everything's fine – uh, everything's more than fine, actually!" Alfred said sheepishly, rubbing on the back of his neck. "I think I might have found something that's the perfect match."

"Oh? Can I see?"

"It's, uh, this," Alfred said, offering the ring to the blacksmith. He examined it for a few moments, then nodded with a tone of finality.

"Ah, this piece is wonderful. I was thinking on the simple and complicated spectrum, this seems to be rather equal even though I do think it's a more complex design than I'm used to. Are you pleased with that one?"

"Yeah, definitely…I mean, it really suits them." Alfred grinned. "I can see them wearing, you're right."

"Well, then, pop back after dinner and come over then. I'll replace the glass gems by then. Anything you want to change?"

"No, mister. I think it's perfect."

* * *

"Almost as if every time I think about him, he appears…" Arthur thought out loud, tapping his pen on the board of his desk.

…nothing. No loud, obnoxious knocks from the door, no 'Artie!' or 'princess' or 'sugar' or whatever stupid new name the prince had invented – not like he was starting to grow fond of them or anything – Alfonso had popped in earlier today, sharing some spare popcorn that he had gotten from the cinema, apparently. Not even little Hero had come yipping to his door.

He'd been having a quiet day today, especially after dinner. Alfred obviously had a lot of work, so damn much that he couldn't even take time out of his day to find time to spend with him _or_ be at dinner – the fact that it was New Years Eve troubled him even more. He hadn't even seen him the whole day, was he…avoiding him?

Shaking his head, Arthur got up from his desk. There hadn't been a reply from Kiku for quite some time; he was sure that his friend had received his message but could be tied up in some paltry state affair. He knew Kiku wouldn't leave him hanging like this…

When the door opened, he couldn't help but feel a pang of relief as Anna burst in, all red cheeked and eager as she brought in two hangers and kicked the door firmly behind her as he followed her to his closet.

"Right," she sang, lifting the covers from them, revealing two garments. "Word down there is that the prince has taken out Lady Emma and Sir Alfonso this morning for a double date – possibly for the last time in a while. This means," she babbled as she bustled about. "He's got something big for you. He _has_ been known to do dates where he just wants to spend time with someone, but I know this isn't it. So. I got to finishing your dress."

"Anna, I thought...didn't we say it wasn't a priority?" Arthur said, feeling a little self conscious but terribly thankful. "I – you must have been under incredible pressure."

"I dunno, New Years is a very special time of the year, so I was thinking you'd like to do something extra sweet," Anna said, and waved away his concerns with a elegant flick of her hand. "Voila!"

 _Oh, Fates_ , Arthur mouthed internally as he caught sight of the outfit – it wasn't everything terribly feminine or something that held emphasis on curves. Layers of blue tulle, each lighter or darker than the next, draped over each other like rolling waves. Next, he slipped on a pea coat that was dyed black – relatively simple, thank goodness, except for the traditional golden buttons, secured with a small pearl after another at the center. It wasn't a fancy outfit, thank goodness, but it definitely worked wonders. _It's something else._

"So?" Anna asked, barely able to disguise the excitement in her voice from outside the bathroom. "Come on, do a turn!"

He did, rather uncertain about the soft material swirling around his legs until he felt his maid give him a squeeze of elation, quickly backing away with a 'sorry!'

"N-No, please, there's nothing to be sorry about," Arthur said, embarrassed. "Your creation is absolutely amazing."

"Thank you, Sir Arthur," she said, beaming. "It really looks good on you. The blue really matches, right? I tried to make it as fitting towards you as I could."

"Yes, it does." Arthur said, taking her hands. "And it fits perfectly. Thank you…but I'm not sure if he's- the prince is even available tonight. He hasn't turned up at dinner at all…I wonder if he's busy-"

"Spare me five moments," Anna said, a crafty look blooming onto her face. "Haven't spared you any heels, Sir Arthur, please wear the best blue shoes you can find. I hope you haven't forgotten them."

She dashed off, leaving him to wonder where in Duchess's name he had left them…

* * *

Alfred's chest rapidly moved up and down as he sped straight to the blacksmith's after dinner, where he had been taking it in his study. The princess's room next door was fine – not enlisting Matthew's help this time was all too hard. He'd redone his tie, checked his appearance as in what seemed like twenty billion times, popped in to say Yao. Even running at this speed for ten minutes took a toll one him…

"Ah, there you are!" the blacksmith exclaimed, pulling on his working gloves. "I've been meaning to thank you for the dinner as well, it was terribly delicious, Your Highness."

"My bad for being late, and that's great!" Alfred panted, "But is it okay if I know whether it's done?"

 _What a strange boy he is, with such casual language as a prince_ , he thought, but nodded, fishing for a velvet box that he had stashed away carefully.

"Right, you can open that up and give it a polish. I hope it's to your liking?"

"Yeah, definitely," Alfred said, turning it around in his fingers. It flashed him a comforting gleam. "I hope he'll like it."

"I know he will, Your Highness."

* * *

Arthur bunched his hands into fists against his skirt, the material light against his skin as he waited tensely outside the corridor to the first floor bedrooms. Anna had popped right back in after she had went outside, delivering a message for him to go there when he was ready. He had finally found his pair of flats with her help, then had ran as fast as his new clothing would allow him.

Just that moment, what he recognized as Alfred's maid was outside the door. She took in his appearance with a hint of surprise, but quickly mentioned that Alfred was already waiting for him at the prince's study – he assumed that it wasn't the bedroom in order to stop people from getting unscrupulous ideas – and with baited breath, Arthur knocked twice on his door.

It creaked open almost immediately, and Arthur waited for the bark and paw steps of Hero to greet him as he had before. But no, he could only hear footsteps before Alfred's voice rang out, asking him to 'c-come in!'

Arthur saw him perched on his balcony, but the moment Arthur closed the door he whipped around and his very blue eyes fixated on him. Alfred's expression lit up, and before Arthur knew it Alfred had pulled him into a hug. Arthur's hands rested uncertainly on his chest, taken aback, but enjoyed his warmth all the same. _His heart's beating so fast…I wonder why?_

"Y-You look stunning," Alfred murmured, detaching himself from Arthur and placing a kiss to his hand, running his damp lips against his knuckles in his usual fashion. "I hope you're not cold tonight."

"You clean up nicely as well," Arthur said, straightening his tie. He simply couldn't deny how dashing he was in a suit. "How are you?" His tone softened almost naturally when they were together. Alfred seemed all right and his usual self; perhaps his worries were unfounded?

"Hey, just a lot of work. But I'm sorry I couldn't, uh, see you today. I missed you real bad," Alfred grinned sheepishly. "I was hopin' to make up for it tonight?"

 _When he's nervous, his accent does show up a bit more_ , Arthur thought internally as he nodded. _It's cute, but at the same time…_

"What were you thinking about, Your Highness?"

"Follow me," Alfred said, walking to the door that led to the princess's suite. "Could you shut your eyes for a bit?"

"Alfred, what in the name of the Fates-" Arthur protested, but shut his eyes anyway.

"Shh," he whispered, and Arthur felt his arm encircling his waist, bringing him forward. After he heard the glass door slam shut, Alfred asked him to open his eyes, which he did.

Arthur's eyes widened – he had been met with perfection. The princess's suite had been made up; light blues and dark blues with hints of green such as the canopy over the bed and the pale green nightstands - just to Arthur's taste. In the corner, to his delight, he spotted a vase filled with blue roses, and Alfred nodded once, allowing him to go. Even though, yes, the gardens were filled with them, he'd never ceased to be impressed…

"Alfred! The balcony!"

The prince grinned bashfully, tugging on Arthur's arm to bring him to the front. "Surprise…?"

Candles, strewn across the landing of the balcony as some hung on hooks and others were on poles, shone in the night sky. As the two of them made their way up to the spot that was marked out, fireworks exploded in the sky, jolting Arthur's tender heart even more. It was New Year's Eve. So this was what he was planning.

 _It's definitely perfectly cheesy,_ Arthur thought as he leaned out from the railings in awe, feeling tears well up in his eyes at the sheer beauty of the scene. _But he really does mean well._

 _And I love him all the more for that._

Alfred watched, his heart pounding in his chest as Arthur leaned out in front of the balcony. He swore in that moment that nothing in Cards, in the _world_ , would be as beautiful as he was in this moment. He slipped his left hand into the pocket of his suit, feeling the harsh velvet of the ring box.

"Arthur," he said, blushing madly as the other boy turned to face him with a surprised face, his mouth an o. "I, uh…I'm really sorry. About today, ya know? Here you are, making a huge effort me for wearing a dress-"

"That's not as much of a concern as you should be busying yourself with." Arthur said, shaking his head with a hint of exasperation yet playfulness. "And if you really wanted to make up for it, you're going to have to wear a full ball gown next time!" Even though Arthur felt quite comfortable (and the pea coat he absolutely loved), it would be rather cute to see him in that sort of attire as a prince.

"As you wish," Alfred stammered, resting his gloved hands on Arthur's jacket, leaning on his shoulder and placing his chin where torso and neck met.

"You're so affectionate tonight…" Arthur remarked, taking Alfred's hands and lacing them around his waist. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, no, it's just…" he broke off, pulling out the watch, then back to the royal square below. "Hey, Artie, look!"

The two of them bent over the railing of the balcony, and realized that they were doing a New Years countdown.

"Ten, nine,"

"Arthur, I…" Alfred said, now sounding very nervous. Arthur turned to face him, surprised that his face was beet red. Fireworks briefly illuminated his flushed expression, and the sight made him bite his lip. What in Fates' name could have caused him to think so romantically?

"Seven, six! Five!"

"I had to spend the day away from you because you know me, I blurt out things," he said.

"Blurt out what? Alfred, what's the-"

"Two!"

"I wanted my New Years' kiss to be with you," Alfred blurted, pulling Arthur into an embrace. The way his fingers laced uncertainly around his cheeks made Arthur's heart and head fill with such adoration that he felt that he'd burst.

"One! Zero!"

And in that moment, Arthur scrunched his hands in Alfred's suit jacket and kissed him to fireworks and cheers, feeling the other boy freeze before reciprocating passionately, sharing a kiss that shook his very foundations.

* * *

"Did you think you'd have this kind of celebration?"

"No," Arthur laughed, fending off half heartedly another kiss from Alfred. "Oh, come off it, you idiot! You're not a puppy."

Alfred had been peppering his face and neck with kisses after they both had left the cold of the balcony and into his study – they'd been perched on the loveseat and had spent most of their time warming up.

"Aww," Alfred said, giving Arthur his very best puppy dog eyes, coupled with quivering lip. "You know you love it."

"Ah..." Arthur said, and finally relented to those big blue eyes. "I suppose I do, love."

"Tonight, I…I realized something, Arthur," Alfred said, and Arthur looked back up to where their hands were linked.

"Hm?"

"It was hard to hold myself back from you today," he confided. "It was so tough to spend time away from ya when I knew you'd be hurt since I wanted to try to spend some time with Emma and Alfonso before the New Year. I think you know why."

"…!" _Is he…doing what I think he is? What I hope he is? Is he finally finishing the Deciding?_

"I don't want to spend any more time away from you," Alfred said, his face flushing defiantly. "And I'll do anything in my power to prevent that."

"Alfred…I can't have that, either. Spending time away from you is always hard for me, that I've come to notice." _He's being honest. I'll do so, as well._

"Forgive me for being so, uh, crass, but…there is something I could do. To make sure that we'd never really have to be parted."

Arthur's breath caught, and he leaned in closer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. When he withdrew, his eyes were tender. _Duchess, please give him the courage…_

"Tell me, then. I'd love to do it."

Alfred's right hand left Arthur's clasped one, going for his pocket. Arthur's eyes widened, and he felt an elated sob rise up from his throat.

"Arthur, I-"

"Your Highness!" Just then, a loud and urgent sounding knock came from the door, leading the two of them to jump apart. Alfred's expression was one of total defeat, but he got up anyway, making sure Arthur was close just in case something happened.

"Your Highness! Have you seen…" he stopped in his tracks, noticing Arthur. "Ah. Sir Arthur, just the person I was looking for."

"Is there an issue?" he asked, all thoughts going to certain people. "Are my family all right? Is there a problem?" _Gods, had Erin's cold taken a turn for the worse?_

"No, sir – apparently, the Queen of Hearts has managed to invite you to his coronation. It's been discussed with the Jack of Spades…"

And just like that, Arthur's world was thrown into absolute disarray again.

 _The Queen of Hearts. Kiku…_

* * *

PSA: i love ruining lives

* * *

replies

 _hearthorse11_ \- yes. **yes. _yes_ ** it is. i swear leigh bardugo is out to claim my soul

 _vivadragnire_ \- haha i'm glad you are! don't worry, i'm not finished with prucan yet.

 _pastaaddict_ \- don't worry! they'll make their comeback soon.

 _russia says hello_ \- i hope this chapter did deliver on what you were expecting!

 _CFAA (FFNet read your username as an url lmao) -_ oh my god, you're amazing. i update every week so i hope that's enough :)

 _n kukurichan_ \- kiku finally stopped waiting lol. it wasn't at the best time though...and anna definitely likes to see her liege happy - although she doesn't question it and loves to tease him. i really appreciate your comment with the kirkland family, i think i've been taking a few liberties with their characters and i'm happy you enjoy them. ^^

actually, now i read back i think i might have hit lots of your hunches since i love hinting haha. please don't break any bones...

* * *

 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	79. That's Why I Love You

...this is a Plot (TM) chapter - this is why it's 5k words. OOPS

also everyone has the basic right to murder me after last chapter - but pls wait until after this chap ;)

/ dodges pitchforks

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

Arthur folded the trunk of his blue suitcase – palace provided, naturally. It was the day after New Years, and with everything else that had been whirling around his mind he knew he'd be sitting in a daze without Anna helping him.

Letting his fingers graze over the tulle of the dress he wore yesterday, he let his memories drift back to the romantic evening that he and Alfred had shared. Wanting to have his New Years kiss with him…it seemed to be a sentiment they both had. Arthur hugged himself tightly, allowing himself to be lost in the thoughts of him. With the words that they had exchanged, he was sure it was a proposal, but he hadn't seen Alfred since.

To be fair to him, they were both escorted back to their rooms. Arthur had tried his best to stay at his side, but unfortunately a queen had priority over a crown prince and he was whisked away.

"Sir Arthur, is this enough?" Anna asked, handing him one more scarf. "No, kid, don't stuff it in your suitcase. You can't wear it; I suppose it'll be cold outside. I'm not sure why the Queen of Hearts would call for you – do you know them?"

"Yes, I do, they were my roommate at the holding facility." Arthur said, sounding a little exasperated. His barbed tongue was enough to make her wince.

"I'm sorry, Anna, I...just have a lot of things on my mind."

His maid tilted her head with a hint of concern. As a matter of fact, she seemed…almost _disappointed_. "What happened?"

"Last night, Arthur said, his tone cautious as to not worry her. "As you know, the crown prince and I spent some time together last night, and it ended…"

"Badly?"

"No, no! Well, yes, but he was very romantic and it wasn't anything to do with him. I…near the end of the evening, he looked like he – he was saying some very passionate things, you know…"

"Passionate?" Anna said, arching an eyebrow. "Sir Arthur, you don't mean-"

"No, no, no!" Arthur said, hastily amending. "Not in that way! I'll just say that he was very sweet, and it seemed like almost a proposal."

"By the Fates," Anna gaped, "This sounds exactly like those cheesy stories where they keep the main characters in agony by ruining their lives in perfectly orchestrated fashion."

"I don't know…" Arthur said, trailing off. "Maybe the Fates, or some other being has something out for us. Never mind. But what it is, is the fact that I don't…I _can't_ go without saying a word to him."

Anna looked troubled again, but a guard – the very same one that had burst in and interrupted him and Alfred's time together last night, interrupted her.

"Sir Arthur, are you ready? We'll have guards accompany you; there are several maids around the Hearts council I believe." An auburn haired guard informed him, then took the moment to check his watch. "Ah, seems like you'll have half an hour to be ready down at the foyer, so please use this time to tie up any loose ends."

"Thank you, sir," Arthur said. He already knew where to go.

* * *

Meanwhile, Alfred, feeling quite a bit fed up, shook his head and faced Yao again. Matthew wasn't here today as he was helping with the preparations; as he was friendly with Gilbert he had volunteered. Alfred suspected there was another motive, but since his brother was an Ace it was probably to show off how good Spades was as a host.

"Why can't I go with him?" Alfred asked, his face paling.

"Alfred," Yao said, sounding as if he'd heard this for the hundredth time whilst they were working – it was only twenty three – "You're a crown prince. There are other strings attached to you that Sir Arthur doesn't."

"There aren't any dangerous things over there," Alfred argued. "I can defend myself, you know that!"

"Of course I do, boy," Yao said serenely. He'd always gotten frustrated when he couldn't have what he wanted; when he was only a young Jack and both Alfred and Matthew's parents were alive, he'd used to admire how they'd managed to calm him down. Even though he had taken up the role of caretaker for both, it still occasionally intimidated him physically. Mentally, however, it wasn't as taxing… "But we're talking about a possible rebel attack. They're not near the border, but Fates knows what they can do. Nevertheless, we have to be cautious."

"But why is he allowed to go?"

"As I said, the council views that he nearly isn't as liable as you," Yao said flatly. "Additionally to that, we cannot refuse an invitation from the Queen of Hearts. And as a simple Jack, I cannot override that decision."

"Queen of…Hearts?" Alfred said, taking a moment. "He knows the queen personally?"

"I did ask Sir Arthur before he retired for the evening last night," Yao said. "Apparently they were very close and shared a room in the holding facilities. Now he's been crowned queen, Ludwig and Felci have allowed him to invite Arthur, I suppose."

"…but why not to the formal coronation?"

"It would be odd, since you said that the Deciding would be over." he reasoned. "I don't think the Hearts kingdom would want to embarrass you just in case you'd eliminate him. It would also be rather hurtful to Lady Emma and Sir Alfonso for him to be singled out by another royal in this way, and I am aware that is the last thing that you'd like to do."

"U…um, yeah, definitely." Alfred said. "I was kind of dreading the ending of the Deciding before we even started it."

"Oh? Why didn't you tell me, then?"

"I didn't want you to worry," Alfred affirmed.

"Alfred, little one, as your guardian that _is_ my job," Yao said, patting him on the shoulder. "Well, now I'm interested. Go on."

"I'm not _that_ little anymore…" Alfred said, but sounded rather self conscious nevertheless. "But, um, I wasn't sure that I could find someone that I truly loved here. And now that I've found them, I…was really scared that they wouldn't want to be queen."

"Let's see it as it is now – he clearly cares for you." Yao said, bringing them back to the subject. "But yes, I'll help you set up a formal process we can do to end it soon. For now, however, he doesn't have as much responsibility riding on his shoulders."

"Not yet, anyway," Alfred muttered, blushing a little. Last night's opportunity was perfect, and Arthur seemed to love it – in that moment, he knew that they felt the same. And _of course_ it had to be interrupted.

"Oh?" Yao asked, looking up from his port. "Was that what you were so frustrated about the other night – last night? A proposal?"

"Ye…yeah," Alfred said, faintly embarrassed. "You know about the Broadcast, and ending it…"

"The proposals are usually televised, are they not?" Yao said, a small smile on his face. If the usually cocky and brash Alfred was embarrassed by something like this, it usually meant a sweet proposal.

His boy was finally growing up.

"Yeah, I know…but I wanted us to have something special just for ourselves. Artie – Arthur likes stuff to be private with us, and I wanted to do it for him. But I've gone and ruined my fuckin' chance."

"Alfred," Yao chided, but his tone wasn't really sharp. "Even though I'm all right with you not using formal language, you should really keep your swearing to a minimum."

Alfred grumbled, but apologised anyway.

"However," Yao continued, "If Arthur truly loves you, it won't matter. In fact, I _could_ possibly give you special permission to speak to him before he leaves at two for the train to Hearts."

Alfred's eyes lit up like little twin stars, and Yao stifled a laugh. My, young love had made him like some overzealous pup. It was reassuring to know that he'd never really changed.

"C- _Could I?_ "

"Be back before five," Yao chuckled, turning back to his paperwork as Alfred thundered out of the room. At least it gave him more time to think about what was really going on in Cards as of present.

* * *

Katya folded over the cloth of her robes carefully, trying her best to avoid the creases on her outfit. Across her, Gilbert sat anxiously, his pale lips pressed together.

"Gilbe, dear, surely you must know this is treason," she said softly, reaching for a cup of her tea. "You know what happened last time that a Joker and an Ace entered a relationship."

"I do," Gilbert said, deflating as all semblance of smirks or grins fell from his face. "Trust me, Katja, I do."

"You would be considered bias towards Spades," she said. "I worry that they would dismiss you from your position."

"What?" Gilbert blurted, panicked. "But wouldn't that mean death? It is the only way Jokers can be destroyed."

"If they see fit." Katya said. "But tell me, Gilbe…how long have you and Matthew been romantically interested in each other?"

"…can I have some water, please?" he said, after a moment. Since he wasn't in Diamonds, he had no way of performing magic without special permission.

Katya nodded, and lifted her robe off of her tail, the magically built nullifier activating with a burst of invisible magic that they both felt. For actual combat, it was covered and therefore not in use, but for tiny tasks she preferred to use it just in case of some horrible effect.

Holding out another teacup she had in her left hand, she filled the cup with tea then put her hand in front of it. The liquid flickered in and out of existence. The cup itself started fading before the tea started turning completely clear, distorted to water.

"I hope it tastes all right. Spades do not ask too much of my services," Katya said, with a click of her fingers the cup had warped to Gilbert's hand. "So I do not perform too much."

"You speak like Ivan too much sometimes, it's not even funny," Gilbert said out loud, but quickly regained his composure to his partner. "I'm…I'm sorry, Katja, it looks pretty good."

"None taken, I was once of the region," she said softly. It was rather obvious that Gilbert did have a bad taste in his mouth for Ivan – although it was not as much as the one for the crown prince of Spades. "But back to topic, when did you start being in a relationship."

Putting away the cup in his lap, Gilbert took another deep breath. "His sixteenth birthday party."

"That would mean right after your brother's coronation," she said, her tone worried. "Oh, Gilbe, what have you done?"

"I couldn't help it," Gilbert said miserably. "But I just saw him, and the moments of friendship, of the way I couldn't take my eyes of him…we tried, I swear!"

"Did you…at least try to stop it?"

"I _said_ , we did! I stayed away for months, trying to make him forget me. But it didn't work. We… _I_ was too weak to fight against it."

"You can't," she said, sounding defeated. "You cannot fight against love." Katya repeated. "It is unstoppable. It ruins countries and ruins men in its wrath. Nothing can destroy it."

Gilbert held his head in his hands, his face burning with shame.

"I'm leaving for Hearts this afternoon," he rasped. "If there is anything you can do for me…give me and Matthew one more afternoon. Please, Katja!"

"I won't," she whispered, cupping her hands together. "I can't, Gilbe - it would only break your hearts. But I promise to give you two space. We will have to work this out after you come back from Hearts. Take him down here before you leave."

"…I love him, Katja," Gilbert sobbed, feeling tears gather at his eyes like dewdrops. "Endlessly. I can't let him get hurt. Please, when I am away…protect him the best you can? If anything happens regarding our relationship, let me take all the blame, all the flames. If _anyone_ asks, it is me. I have done every fault, and he is completely innocent."

"…" Katya's face was frozen with defeat.

" _Please_!" he choked, running to her and sinking pathetically to his knees. "I would give my life for Matthew, and I have been like this for three years. If anyone deserves to be punished, it will be me. I cannot bear it if anyone harmed a single hair on his body."

"Gilbe, don't!" she wept, lifting him from his position. As she did, she realized that he had gotten thinner compared to the last time she had hugged him in greeting; suddenly his eyes seemed more sunken, more tired. He had been hurting for the boy that he could never love.

"I will protect Matthew however I can. I swear by the Fates."

"…Thank you," he choked, burying his face in her shoulder. She had been there when Ludwig could not, someone he could call and talk with, someone he could depend on when he was not enough. To know that Matthew would be safe…his heart was content.

"Go now," she urged, ruffling his hair in a fashion that she knew he liked. "You do not have much time left."

* * *

Matthew's pen quickly worked across the pages of the new piece of legislation he was studying. Ever since King Ivan's quick visit during the rebel attack, he had been planning out a new revision for the trading deal with Clubs. It was unfortunate that they did not have a Joker, but Queen Elizabeta was more than happy to work with him and he was relieved for her support. Nonetheless, it was hard to support the whole plan by his own…

All thoughts of oil or textiles rushed out of his head when he heard a knock on the door – it _had_ to be Gilbert! With a cry of 'I'm coming!' he tilted up his large glasses and practically flew to the door and into Gilbert's arms.

"Gil," he cried with elation, burying himself in the Joker's shoulder with laughter, the same kind that sent Gilbert's chest rumbling and his fingers tangling in his own hair. "Gil!"

"Matthew," Gilbert sighed happily, raising Matthew's face to meet their eyes, violet to red. "Birdie."

"They said you were going to Hearts along with Arthur," he said, shaking his muss of golden hair. "I feared you wouldn't come see me!"

"Why wouldn't I?" Gilbert grinned, bashfully running his hand through his snow white locks. "I…Matthew, you've been the first and last thing on my mind."

"Oh, hush!" he gaped, turning scarlet. "Francis has been teaching you tricks!"

"Nah, Franny boy just thinks I'm trying to annoy the Jack of Clubs," Gilbert said casually, jumping up and floating, his tail flicking playfully.

"…Jack Roderich doesn't really deserve that treatment. Goodness knows what Queen Elizabeta would do to you if she found you taunting him again like with the last Meeting…"

"She's gonna clobber me, that's for sure," Gilbert said, but directed a wink at Matthew. "But hey. At least I get an excuse to go to the infirmary and _accidentally_ get lost in your room."

"That's your absolute favourite excuse, and I won't let you use it any longer, Joker Gilbert!" Matthew sighed, but chuckled nonetheless. "Anyway. You better-"

Just then, the sound of a door slamming shut echoed around the hallways to the left. It was probably not as dramatic as Matthew felt it was – probably only a maid finishing with cleaning a guest room – but nevertheless, it instantly reminded him what sort of position they were. The way Gilbert was holding him, the way he himself was angled in such a way…

…It would be instantly suspicious.

"Gilbert…" Matthew said, detracting from his lover, a worried glance on his face. He felt Gilbert touch his arm, concerned, but he pulled him inside his room, watching for any intruders. He fixed his violet gaze firmly onto the corridor, but no one and nothing came out of it.

"Gilbert. Alfred's room is next door, and I just probably heard a maid moving in and out. If he comes in at any second, we…"

"You're right," he said tersely, but the touch on his arm trailed to his hand, linking it. "Hey. I know the place."

"Give me a moment." Matthew said, leading him into his room and into the study, where he took out the ring that he had been given months prior. Gilbert's expression lit up, bursting with happiness as Matthew untangled himself from him and slipped it on.

"I'm still wearing your Cross," he said teasingly, pinching his nose to bring him back to reality. "Now come on, Gil. I'm assuming you don't have much time?"

"Y…Yeah," Gilbert stuttered, red lighting up on his pale cheeks preoccupied with how the light reflected off the gem.

 _You dork,_ Matthew thought internally. _You haven't changed a jot, despite everything._

 _I'm sorry, Birdie_ , Gilbert wracked in his head, watching his blissfully unaware fiancé. _If I could protect you even more from the inevitable storm…I would._

* * *

"I can't believe you're going so soon, and to Hearts!" Alfonso exclaimed as soon as Arthur (with Emma in tow) had arrived in his room. "Come on, sit down, you two."

"I can't either," Emma said, but she didn't seem nearly as cheerful as she had compared to the past few days.

 _Maybe because it's of me,_ Arthur thought regretfully as they sat in a small circle in front of his small fireplace, something that he didn't have in his own room. Nevertheless, Alfonso didn't have his own balcony and neither did Emma, so it was sort of nice to spend time in each other's rooms since they were all so structurally different.

But that wasn't his main concern. Arthur quickly realised that he didn't want to lose his friends if he did win this Deciding, which the end did seem closer and closer. He couldn't imagine an environment with the loss of Alfonso's wisecracks and Emma's constant beam, which she seemed to have lost as the competition grew on. Arthur knew that Alfonso had a strong, resistant spirit behind that smile, but he was still concerned about Emma. For all he knew, she loved Alfred as much as he did. Putting himself in her shoes – he had been there for months but would not have to face it as reality – she might have to.

"So, do you know anyone in Hearts?" Emma asked, leaning forward on her legs, her lace skirt falling down to her shins. "Didn't Jack Yao say that there was going to be the actual thing after the wedding here?"

 _She used to sound so confident that it would be her wedding,_ Arthur thought internally, and by the look Alfonso exchanged with him it seemed that he thought the same. _But now…_

"Ah…I suppose that it's because I had a friend that went to the Hearts Deciding. I think it's because he's now queen."

"Woah!" Alfonso exclaimed, and Emma let out a gasp. "That's so cool! You've had friends in high places before it even started."

"I…I don't know, he hasn't had the time to mail me back…"

"Maybe it's because he has qu…queenly duties to take care of while he's there," Emma said, stuttering a little on the _queen_. Arthur felt that he knew why, but felt too guilty to let her know that he – and knowing Alfonso, him too – had caught on.

"Yep, that sounds about right to me," Alfonso said, touching her hand with his in a comforting gesture. "Man, that's so cool though. Will you tell us about him?"

"Um," Arthur said uncertainly. Now that he considered Alfonso to be one of his closest friends, it would be rather rude of him to say that Kiku had been his best friend ever since childhood. "Er, I've known him since I was a child. Since my family fell into bad fortunes, they managed to send me to a holding facility – goodness knows how I got in, but he was very impressive. He was astounding with magic from the moment I knew him."

"Imagine," Emma sighed, pushing back her brown hair. He noticed that it had grown out within the months they had been here, and she really looked like she had changed. "Finding it easy with magic."

"Hey, I'm just good with looking after horses," Alfonso joked. "Wonder why Alfred's kept me in this competition for so long? He's probably going to hire me as the stable hand the moment afterwards."

The three of them laughed, but Arthur internally kept that in his mind for a little. If the two of them were so resigned to leaving already…he didn't want them to feel bad, either.

"No, he's just keeping me around to make sure I won't blow up any more kitchens."

"Aww," Alfonso laughed, "Probably to make sure he can keep your strawberry tart addiction in check."

"It's not that bad, is it?" Arthur blurted, and the two of them shared a laugh.

Emma conjured up a smile, but internally she was absolutely crushed. She respected Arthur and all, but to know that he had been the one to steal Alfred's heart…

…it dismayed her so. And even the mysterious Fate that she had heard speak to her had disappeared, all those months ago. Where could she turn to now that wouldn't make her look desperate?

* * *

Alfred pelted down the corridor like he had last night, his heart rattling inside his ribcage as he knocked twice in quick succession and barely restrained himself from bursting into the door when Arthur's maid answered it.

"Hello, Your Highness," she said, the surprise in her tone palpable. "I suppose you're here to see Sir Arthur?"

"Uh, yeah, you'd be right!" Alfred grinned, bowing a little which made her stiffen a little in shock. She was supposed to be doing – no, not _she,_ Arthur's maid Anna – it to him! But he didn't really care for customs at this point. Surely wanting to see someone so urgently was seen above the prince…but who cares.

"All right, now just give me one moment..." she said, pausing, before hollering at the top of her lungs an "Arthur!'

"Right – he's in the shower, Your Highness, if you'd excuse him…"

"Anna?" came Arthur's voice clear over the sound of rushing water. "Is there something you need?"

"No, no!" she said, keeping her tone cheerful as she spoke but still maintaining a good, loud volume. "Your sweetheart's come to send you off."

Alfred flushed darkly, but didn't correct her as he had tried to do on previous nights. She was right, and he had to treat Arthur as a sweetheart. Better than he was treating him right now.

"Uh, when Art - Sir Arthur comes out, could you give us some time alone? I'd really appreciate it…"

"Anything, Your Highness," she said, bowing a little. "Sir _ARTHUR!_ " she hollered again, making Alfred wince a little. "I've got cleaning duty and left your clothes inside the bathroom like I've always done. Prince Alfred's going to make himself at home."

"Wait, I didn't mean-"

"Patience, my dear monarch," she said, daring painted on her lips. "He's been wanting this but not wanting to admit it."

Alfred could only watch her go in awe.

* * *

"No, it really means a lot to me that you've come over," Arthur said, folding out the crease of his pea coat. "After what happened last night…I'm so sorry that it happened. The interruption, I mean. The rest of the night was perfect, I assure you-"

"Hey, there's nothing to apologise for," Alfred grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. "If anything, I should be pissed at the general for interrupting."

"Don't fire him, he was simply doing his job." Arthur quickly affirmed. He didn't want someone to lose something else because of him…

"Hm? Oh, no, I won't, heh, of course not!" Alfred said. "I'd feel really bad. But now you're going…the heroic stuff I wanted to say kinda rushed out of my brain. I think I used all of it up yesterday…"

"I doubt it, love." Arthur snorted. "You'd come up with some romantic drivel no matter what."

"That's not a bad thing, right?" Alfred asked, smiling bashfully. "But, yeah. You're leaving for a bit."

"It's only one week. I'll be back home – in the castle, I mean - before you know it. For that time being on, I trust you to have a brain."

"Are you saying I don't?" Alfred spluttered in false indignation, but hugged Arthur tightly, tucking his head underneath his own. "Honestly, Artie, I'm going to miss you."

"Me, too," Arthur said, pausing for a moment before running a slender finger around his neck, curving around the shell of Alfred's ear and into his hair, hoisting himself higher so that they were eye to eye.

"Alfred."

"Arthur?"

"Can I ask you one question?" he asked, breath baited.

"S-Sure."

"What would you have said, last night?" he breathed. "If he hadn't come to interrupt us, if I weren't leaving tonight. Would you have ended the Deciding?"

Alfred swallowed, his mind casting back to the ring in his pocket. No, not now. Arthur would have so many things on his mind; a wedding proposal which he would have to come back to answer to would be doubly confusing.

But honesty. He had promised to Arthur, and Arthur had promised to honest with him as well, and not hold back.

"What would I have said?" he echoed, closing his eyes.

"I would…I would have asked you to, to, uh, marry me," he said, lip wobbling, half sobbing, half laughing.

 _I knew it,_ Arthur thought internally, but it didn't stop him from bursting into a smile and throwing his arms over Alfred's neck, causing them to topple over in the sofa they were on.

"Wha – Arthur?!" he spluttered, but Arthur wasn't done.

"You know what?" he whispered, joyful tears sparkling in his eyes.

"W-Wha?"

"I…I would have said yes," Arthur said, his eyes welling up. "Y-You asked me to be honest, and you're being honest now. But yes, you know I would."

Alfred exhaled once, gently touching Arthur's face with his hand before pulling him flush against his body, his lips seeking out what his eyes could not admire for themselves.

"I'm leaving." he said tenderly, his warm fingers pulling Alfred's face upright to face him again. "I must. At least, for now. Will you wait for me?"

"You've waited for me for longer," Alfred insisted, propping himself on top of Arthur, elbows on both sides of him and dog tags swinging from his neck. "I'll wait for longer if you need me to, princess."

"I, um, think I'll surely be ready by the time I'm back from Hearts." Arthur affirmed, winding his fingers in Alfred's tie. "But yes, that's all I need from you now. Please, look after yourself."

"I promise – and say hi to that friend of yours, yeah?" Alfred said, gently untangling himself from their embrace. "Right, I'll escort you down where they'd probably be missing you, although not as much as I would."

Arthur nodded, feeling a little embarrassed at his rather patchy flirting, but privately didn't complain as Alfred scooped up his two luggages with ease and followed him like an overly devoted butler.

* * *

"Are you sure you'll be OK?"

"Yes, love, I'll be fine," Arthur affirmed for what felt like the thousandth time. He had just said his goodbyes to Emma and Alfonso for awhile, and tried his best to cheer up her (Alfonso had joined in, thank Fates he could still count on him), and she had left a little more cheerful.

He had waved Matthew goodbye, secretly promised that he'd look after Gilbert – who had already gotten in a carriage of his own and left a little earlier due to security reasons – and thanked Yao for his care so far. Naturally, though, Alfred had asked them to give the pair a quiet moment, and so he was there, cossetting him right before he left. Typical of the idiot…

"I - I just, you know how proposals are televised, right before the official announcement?" Alfred blurted, but kept his voice quiet just in case some nosey person burst in.

"Do you…now?

"…? No, no! It's not going to be romantic at all, heh."

"I believe New Years Eve was rather romantic, Alfred." Arthur said, but hugged him, sensing that the biting winter chill had gotten a little less cold with him at his side. "Nevertheless. I know you'll do your best, no matter what."

"And you too," Alfred declared. Unbeknownst to Arthur, his heart was hammering at his chest like a blacksmith's on an anvil. Decisively, he pulled Arthur towards him, pressing his lips close to the other boy's ear.

"You always do your best for me. _And that's why I love you._ "

 _…_ _I've waited too long. I need you to know that, just in case something happens._

Arthur's hear seemed to stop beating at that moment, turning around to respond but Alfred had dropped his hand, burning red ears barely visible against the dark brown of his fur coat, leaving him at the steps of the carriage.

"You-" Arthur gaped, but Alfred only offered back a grin and nodded, acting like he hadn't said something _that was as far fetched as that, Fates it had been so long – the idiot just walked away? Like it was nothing? Excuse me-_

 _And did he just say he loved me?!_

Arthur boarded the carriage and nodded dumbly when a porter offered to take his luggage, looking at Alfred who was standing dopily at the front of the golden gates, watching him as well.

The door shut and the carriage lurched, and Alfred mouthed something to him before Arthur pressed his hand up to the glass. He could only hope that his gaze – nothing else he could do physically could get across his emotions – was enough to tell Alfred that he loved him, too.

* * *

Emma buried her face in her knees, weeping for all that had been lost between her and Alfred. Next to her, Alfonso gently patted her in the back, but looked sadly outside the window.

"This is where it ends...huh," he said quietly to himself, his breath choking.

 _I thought I had a chance…_

* * *

when i typed The Phrase (TM) i felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. one to go

* * *

replies

 _sam -_ you old as hell compared to me though, you'll be fine haha

 _guest_ \- -tony stark voice- i'm sorry

 _hearthorse11_ \- me, dancing away from my problems: SOON SOON

 _CFAA_ \- i live to serve. i hope this made up lmao

 _vivadragnire_ \- ooh yep. maybe not exactly the way you'd thought though...

 _russia says hello_ \- some people (me) want to watch the world burn (me). paTIENCE

 _pastaaddict_ \- it's like their very existence (aka yours truly) has something against them. what a shame...

* * *

 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	80. Warm Reception

falls into your peripheral vision

I AM **ALIVE _,_** i shout to the groans of the audience and mutters of "hurry up and die already"

* * *

i'm so sorry! basically, i had two weeks staying home in JP - wifi egg didn't let me even go _on_ FFNet, then europe where i mooched off free wifi and blistered my feet walking around palaces, then two weeks back in JP studying my arse off (really, filling my fic notebook, which i did.)

i suppose one could say i had a good summer lmfao

also! i had written around 2k before i left on my flight, so i had to cut some parts of the scene i tacked onto the end, which is a lot more interaction than anything. additionally, i had to cut some sections as my word document was _not_ taking it. but unfortunately, i've had to spill over into a fourth document. darn it all

one more thing before my long A/N is done, i say to boos and calls of 'GET ON WITH IT', this chapter is pretty long for the amount of words i had to cut. so enjoy and forgive me m(_ _)m

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

 **finally: please do not be alarmed if you cannot review this chapter! if you reviewed my A/N, you cannot review again on the same chapter sadly :(**

* * *

Inside the windows of the carriage, Arthur rubbed his bleary eyes and sat up a little straighter. Even inside, he could feel the cold winter chill – but the carriage was empty, save from the low chatters from the guardsmen outside and the _clop_ of horses' hooves against pavement, although it did sound a little smoother compared to the limestone of Spades – a little more like the grey granite that was in Hearts.

He jolted awake, gripping the curtains yet careful not to rip them as he peered outside of the small, tinted window. Arthur scanned quickly for any blue, but was met with accents of scarlet, from deep violet to pale pink all over – the small flags hanging around the painted lamplights, the tips of the lances of the soldiers outside, the velvet rope fencing off their route.

 _No, wait,_ he thought. _That's just for security. They don't have dyed ropes in Spades._

Just then, the carriage jolted to halt, and Arthur pushed his half awake foot underneath one of the seat holders, managing to keep himself steady as he carefully tried to pry open the windows as he heard guards moving behind him.

Arthur failed miserably.

"Welcome to Hearts, good sirs," he heard a man say. "And, I presume, a royal?"

"Umm…" Arthur said to himself, wringing his hands. Right, with this sort of security it was baffling if they weren't transporting someone of high status. If Alfred had partly…well, minus a ring, partly proposed to him, would that mean that he would be the princess and therefore queen soon enough?

"He is here on orders of the Queen of Hearts, but is part of the Spadian Chosen," one of the guards said, her voice warm. "It's just very nice to be back here; the Spadian winter can be absolutely bleeding horrible sometimes."

"Of course," came the reply. "It's probably those rebels, bringing their bad luck down here from the Drift to the mountains. Clubs' cold has only fallen down here this year. It's horrid that you'd have to bear the brunt of it…"

"It would appear so," she said. "But, nevertheless, they're not around after the Trials, where they-"

"Ohy!" one of the other soldiers barked out, causing all conversation to stop. "In case you haven't concerned yourself with it, we have to get an esteemed guest to the Hearts Palace who could very well be our queen within a few days. Show some respect and stop gossiping!"

The two soldiers jolted and Arthur could hear their boots against the granite before the carriage moved again and they were back on the track.

A few minutes later, he heard raucous cheers and peered outside the window, perplexed.

To his, well, mostly pleasant surprise, there were admirers and people dotted all around the velvet rope, shouting and calling his name. There were a few signs sprinkled around, and with the calls of his name and the title 'Queen of Spades' on some of their lips. Arthur was astonished that he even _had_ supporters outside of Spades. He was concerned that he wouldn't be popular enough for the masses to be chosen by Alfred, but now…

The carriage stopped again, and one of the soldiers carefully unlatched the door. When Arthur asked exactly why, he merely gestured to the crowd.

"Sir Arthur, I'm assuming that you would want to go outside and meet them?" he queried, tipping his head to one side. "They're a very energetic crowd."

"Oh, yes, definitely," Arthur smiled, hearing the cheers only grow louder as he was out of the carriage. "If you don't mind, could you tell the Hearts palace that I'll be a little late?"

"Duly noted, Your H – oh, I apologise," he said quickly, a little embarrassed. "Consider it done. But please, be careful."

Arthur promised that he would be, and waited for a guard to follow him into the crowd.

* * *

The first person Arthur greeted was a fair haired man with a boater hat, that bowed to him and almost bumped his head coming back up on the velvet rope.

"Sir Arthur," he said, holding onto his hat. "What brings you to our beautiful kingdom today?"

"Um…" Arthur said, thinking if he should lie in order to keep the posterity, but here in Hearts it was common knowledge who exactly was the new Hearts Queen, so it wouldn't make sense. "As a child, I was a very close friend of the queen, and so I was invited to come attend and spend time with them."

"That's remarkable!" the man exclaimed, seeming very excited. "It's almost as if you're the queen already for Spades. I know you'll do very well!"

"I'm…I'm very flattered," Arthur stammered, flushing a little. "With your faith, I'll do my best. If I get chosen."

"You will," he said, tone reassuring. "May the Fates bless you!"

As soon as he had withdrawn, Arthur decided to slowly walk amongst the crowd, his rather strappy boots treading lightly on the uneven floor as he paused occasionally to chat to a sign holder and exchange a handshake and hug with the terribly excited ones that had popped in just to see him.

When he was around halfway and could barely see the highest turrets of the Hearts castle, a little girl waved so excitedly at him that he just had to stop and bend down as he caught sight of her mother giving him her approval.

"Hello there," he said, carefully taking one of her hands in his own. "It's nice to meet you Miss…"

"My name's Nicole!" she said, clasping one of his hands in between her own. "It's so nice to meet you, Sir Arthur! My papa says stuff at home about you. So does my mommy."

"Nicole, dear…" her mother said, seeming a little embarrassed. "I apologise, Sir Arthur – it's nothing bad that we say, I promise. We all adore you."

"I'd love to hear it, please." Arthur said, nodding to the little girl. "Go on."

"They say you look very pretty a lot!" she giggled. "And they're right. No wonder the prince likes you so very very much!"

"Umm…" Arthur stammered, embarrassed. "I – I hope he likes me for something else other than my looks."

"Oh…" she said, almost as if she'd insulted him. "Of course not! Prince Alfred really does like you. Don't you see how blushy he gets around you?"

"Sometimes, yes!" he smiled, humouring her. "Well. I just want to make him happy, and do the best I can for everyone in Cards. But thank you, miss." He leaned down and placed a small kiss on her tiny hand, getting a squeal and his head being nearly crushed. Oh well, the things he'd do to maintain being a gentleman.

"Be careful, dear," her mother chastised, and Arthur stepped a little back as she picked up her daughter. "I apologise, Sir Arthur. We've been following the Spadian Deciding even more ever since our own ended, and she loves to sit down and watch the entirety of it. You're an inspiration, truly."

"Oh, I see." Arthur said. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I…I'm really thankful for your whole family supporting me. It means the world that you approve."

"Much obliged, Your Highness," she grinned. "It's an honour meeting you!"

"I'm not quite." Arthur said, a little sheepish as he could feel most of the crowd's expectant gazes on him. Even with Alfred's proposal, he didn't want to put him in an uncomfortable position…

"My, if you could see exactly how Prince Alfred looks at you sometimes – no, all the time! – you can see exactly how devoted he is to you."

And with that, a guard tapped Arthur lightly on the shoulder, signaling that it was time to walk. He waved, a little dazed, to Nicole and her mother, and thanked anyone in the general proximity before letting himself be ushered away.

* * *

"Please, notify the Primary Suit that the Spadians have arrived," the guard said as their carriage hurtled to the brass gates of Hearts. "Along with Sir Arthur on request of the queen."

"Duly noted," came the reply, and Arthur shifted in his seat as he heard footsteps leading away from them.

"Sir Arthur?" the guard said, knocking on his carriage door. "Are you all right in there?"

"Never been finer." Arthur replied. "Er, is there a set protocol for this?"

"Nothing you should worry yourself with," they affirmed. "I believe that you'll be escorted in. Ah, here they come."

With a _click_ , the latch to the carriage doors was swung open and Arthur walked out into the bright daylight that graced Hearts's winter skies, and he took a little moment to appreciate the sheer beauty of the sight.

But that was before he heard a very familiar voice call his name from the steps of the palace.

"Arthur! Arthur, is that you?"

He whirled around; heart thumping as he saw the small silhouette of Kiku waiting on the steps. Foregoing any sort of social concern he had retained, he sped through the lines of guards, boots crunching shamelessly on the gravel as he ran to meet his best friend, elation etched onto his features as they met in a hug.

"Goodness, Arthur, you look so _different_ now," Kiku exclaimed, a smile on his serene features. "You have grown a royal tinge to yourself with that attire and expression."

"Says the person who's a royal themselves!" Arthur retorted, but took the moment to bow. "But really, it's nothing but thanks I have for you inviting me over. I was told that it was a rather private occasion."

"That is what the Primary Suit seems to have seen fit for us in these times," Kiku said, taking Arthur by the shoulder and leading him into the palace. "Nevertheless, we are safe here, I assure you."

"What have you been doing these few days?" he asked.

"It has nothing but hectic, but…there is something, or rather some _one_ important that I'd like to show you before we can help ourselves to refreshments." he said.

"The Primary Suit?" Arthur said, placing his hands behind his back in nervousness.

"Oh, yes, they are very important - of course." Kiku said, a hint of a smile lingering on his mouth. "But I would like to think that you would be a touch more familiar with them."

* * *

"How is he doing today?" Arthur asked, his voice kept a little lower to avoid disturbing Heracles's rest.

"He has been healing as well as possible, like the other soldiers which I am very thankful for," Kiku said, but his gaze was all for Heracles as his smooth hand ran themselves over his brown hair. "Honestly, in the state which we found some of the soldiers I feared that they might not have all made it, but there are no casualties so far. But of course, it is only early days."

"When did they come here?" he said.

"The evening of the twenty first," came the reply. "I was actually supposed to have a mock coronation on that day, but the palace was so busy caring for the influx of patients that we decided that we'd rather devote time to that. So, instead of that, I have been researching and watching clips of past coronations to help me get a grip."

"It sounds difficult," Arthur whispered. "But I'm sure that you'll find it very easy."

Kiku gave a little laugh, shaking his dark hair. "Arthur, I am so honoured that you think so highly for me. But in honesty, I have been nothing but a nervous wreck for these past weeks. I know that the coronation is in five days, but I still cannot help but feel that I have not prepared enough…"

Just then, Heracles shifted in his bed, turning onto his side with a groan that startled both boys. Kiku instantly made a soft noise with his tongue, moving both hands down onto his shoulders to straighten him again, pausing to press a kiss to his tanned cheek. He let out a small snore before going back to sleep, a hint of a smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

The tender display stayed with Arthur the whole evening, even when he was terribly intimidated with meeting King Ludwig, Jack Feliciano and Ace Lovino, eating a rich dinner that seemed to be normal fare for him nowadays, and sharing tea and laughs with Kiku until the streets outside the palace had quieted and the lights had dimmed inside the palace.

"Ah, Arthur..." Kiku said, as his usual, formal way of greeting his best friend good night. "I apologise, we could have stayed up a little longer talking but alas, with Jack Feliciano's pregnancy, King Ludwig is more than eager to make sure he does get his rest. Even in Hearts, male childbirth does carry risk. But you seem relatively tired."

"No, no, you're right." Arthur said, running a finger over a thick eyebrow. "By the Fates, I'm knackered. And I'd love to catch up but I suppose we all need our beauty sleep."

"Duchess knows I am going to need it." Kiku joked, embracing his friend once more before closing the door. "Get some rest, Art."

"You too, Kiku."

And for that night, Arthur fell into a dreamless sleep, letting everything on his mind fall like the light snow outside.

Maybe a break was what he needed.

* * *

"You look well rested," Kiku smiled as he greeted Arthur in his bedroom the next morning. "I believe that we only slept after twelve last night, so I have forgotten breakfast in my absentmindedness. I have called for breakfast to be delivered this morning."

"Oh, umm…g-good morning, Your Highness," Arthur mumbled, still groggy from his sleep and a tad disorientated. Where was he, if not in Spades? Facing Kiku, his numbed mind put together a kind expression in the eyes and hair as dark as ravens to be Jack Yao.

"Hm? Art, it is me, Kiku. Did we not agree to forgo the honourifics after we met?"

"…OH, oh," Arthur stammered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm so sorry, Kiku. I didn't mean to, really. It's just been the fact that I've been in Spades for so long…"

"How many months has it been?" Kiku asked, pausing to open the door and welcome the maid, bearing two plates of freshly cooked food as well as a teapot and two cups with saucers into the room, which she placed on the nearest table. "Around six or seven?"

"Yes, I believe so." Arthur said, now fully away. He propped himself up on his bed, facing his best friend in his rather formal outfit – a warm looking robe instead of the long pants and shirt that he used to wear back in the holding facility. "But to be fair, it's much more an affair of the heart. The Fates chose you – and you _are_ a royal now."

"Ah…" Kiku said, smiling embarrassedly. "I hoped, quite a bit, that me becoming Queen of Hearts would not change too many things between the two of us. Am I asking too much of you?"

"Well, if it's OK with you." Kiku said. "You've been my best friend ever since the holding facilities, even though I've met so many wonderful, new people in Spades. I don't want anything to change between us too much."

"Then it is settled," Kiku said, and they both held an expression of relief on their faces. "Although I have seen you on television with, for example, Sir Alfonso and…Leon, I am delighted to tell you that I have also found friends of mine – Sir Toris and Lady Sophia have been very kind to me."

"Lady Sophia? Didn't you mention that she was to be one of your advisors?" Arthur asked.

"Yes." Kiku said. "And with that, I will dare to say that I have found true contentment here. King Ludwig and Jack Feliciano – although the Primary Suit and I call him Feli – treat me as if I am part of their family."

"What are they all like?" Arthur said, his tone curious.

"Well, the Ace Lovino is always good company, but Ludwig prefers me to be the one to discuss things with him when it comes to issues that we cannot both deal with. For some reason, they both resent each other a little…" Kiku said.

"So you're like a mediator?" Arthur said.

"Somewhat, yes," Kiku confirmed with a short nod, his hair falling over his face for a moment. "But I do not do it so often as I have not been crowned - with the coming child the whole palace are anxious to have it out of the way, which is why I asked you to come so early after the New Year. But other than that, the only other problem is the rebels, and the winter has been good to us. Enough about me though – how is Spades?"

"Cold." Arthur groused, both of them sharing a laugh after that. "Besides that, there's been talk of actually ending the Deciding as public expectation has risen ever since you won yours."

"Sorry," Kiku said, but it was all in good fun.

"I mean, it hasn't been too rough. The Jack Yao is a very kind person, and he really does look out for us and Prince Alfred and Matthew. I don't think I thank him enough, truly." Arthur admitted.

"I am just very thankful that he gave me permission to let you come for the coronation, even though me being Queen of Hearts could have played a role even so," Kiku said. "Surely, I thought it would be difficult, what with the Deciding and Prince Alfred saying that it was ending. How is Matthew, by the way? I noticed Gilbert come by as well."

"Um, he did stay in Spades for a little but I was kind of caught up in my own preparations to really take notice." Arthur said.

"Well, I suppose Gilbert surely would have found some time amidst Joker business to be with him. No matter though, how are things with the crown prince himself, may I ask?" Kiku smiled, not even attempting to hide his curiosity. "Surely, there must be something beyond the snippets of what we see in Hearts. I mean, we are both rather private people, yes?"

"But of course…" Arthur said, a little embarrassed. "Alfred knows that about me. Not a lot of what our relationship is about is made public thanks to his efforts, I would say."

"No honourific with him but one with me?" Kiku teased. "My, my. Do elaborate!"

"He's – well, you know how I sent you letters about how I used to think that he was the pinnacle of perfection and that I was undeserving?" Arthur said.

"Goodness, I would have to say that those were one of the most frustrating times I have had for a while, Art. How could I?" Kiku said gently. "Of course. That is worrying, though – are his true colours truly that bad? Has he finally revealed his real character and it has turned out to be very poor?"

"No, no!" Arthur said hurriedly, seeing the concern in his friend's eyes. "Alfred has just…he's helped me, um, feel more comfortable in my own skin. He's still as lovely as the day I met him, but I think that I've managed to accept for myself that's he's _human_. I think that I was afraid that the part of him didn't exist."

"I suppose this means that you were just too much – too _smitten_ with him at that time to realize that you could have been romanticizing too many things about him and putting yourself down," Kiku soothed. "That is natural, as it is your first relationship, but I have to ask – have your feelings really changed?"

"E-Erm..." Arthur stammered, his cheeks reddening. "I – er, will have to say that they've only intensified but I've learned to manage them better. Up to only a few days ago, I could only dare to dream of declaring outright to Alfred that I truly loved him. But now…"

"Did something in particular trigger this change of heart?" Kiku queried. "As in a particular event – was there someone threatening your relationship with him lately?"

Arthur shook his head, embarrassment flooding his face.

"No, I…Kiku, you must promise to not tell a soul."

"Ooh," he smirked, recrossing his legs in an elegant fashion that Arthur could only hope to replicate one day. "This _will_ be interesting."

"On – on New Years Eve," Arthur began, stuttering a little due to his nerves, "He got very busy with his work and I thought something bad had happened that would have inspired him to leave the three of us Elite. About New Years Eve – I'd love for you to describe yours, really-"

"It was nothing short of bizarre, Arthur, but please do continue telling me about _your_ New Years," Kiku prodded, gently but firmly as he could sense that he was embarrassed but was too eager for the retelling of the surely romantic evening.

"He…Fates, Kiku, he _proposed_ to me!" Arthur whispered fervently, as if it was a secret but also something he himself could not believe. "He…he had his hand in his pocket – we had just – he, Alfred, said that he had wanted to share his New Year's kiss with me. Then, umm, we sat talking for a while after that, and then he was g-going to, but then a messenger or something burst in and the moment was ruined."

"Oh, by the Fates Arthur, I am really sorry," Kiku burst out. "That messenger must have been the one to tell you of my invitation. I never intended to ruin your night so horribly!"

"Well, I suppose that it did affect us somewhat in the end." Arthur smiled wryly at him in response, quick to reassure him that it was not his fault. "By then, I was ushered back to my room for preparations, but right before I left for here, he said something that I'd thought he'd never say so early, not even in my wildest dreams. But – Kiku, he did!"

"Ah, so," Kiku said. "He said that he'd die for you, then?"

"…? No, no, that's not it," Arthur chuckled, but paused as he saw Kiku's perplexed expression.

"Er, OK, so let me guess – everything he has done so far is a lie and he has been in love with someone else since day one! He is a doppelgänger of the _real_ prince that just happened to fall in love with you? Or a old childhood friend that just _had_ to see you!" Kiku's face was full of determination, but he even could quietly admit that his theories could have been a little far fetched. "And then he fell in l-"

"W- _What_?" Arthur spluttered, and they both suppressed a bout of laughter. "Kiku, those have to be stories from trashy novels! Umm, I'll give you a hint – it's something that I've wanted to say myself for quite a while now – and something I've hoped for the longest time that he'd really mean."

"Do _not_ _tell_ me," Kiku sighed after he came to his own conclusion. "Prince Alfred simply told you that he loved you? Surely, that cannot be-"

"Yes, that's it!" Arthur cried, but paused slightly at Kiku's slightly amused yet exasperated expression.

"Erm, Arthur, surely you do not mean that this is the first time he has even mentioned being in love with you? That is – extremely hard to believe, even with the smallest bits of footage of the Spadian Broadcast. How come…?"

"Oh, er, is it really that hard to believe?" Arthur said embarrassedly, to which Kiku nodded.

"Yes," he said seriously. "If he has not shown that he indeed does care for you-"

"Shown? No, I mean, he has. It's just that, well, it's difficult for those three words to come to us. I think he has tried to say them before," Arthur said, casting back to the night where Alfred's voice had stopped and he had tried to comfort him, knowing that it could be forced. "But it wasn't the time and it didn't feel right enough for the two of us then. I know he was comfortable this time, which is why…I didn't fear it any more. Duchess, Kiku – I regret it so badly that I didn't say it back."

"W-Why did you not?" Kiku spluttered, perplexed. "Art, it is extremely hard to imagine you not wanting to reciprocate or at least acknowledge the statement. If it is so dear to the two of you…"

"It was right before I left for Hearts." Arthur lamented. "We wished each other well and right when they closed the carriage doors he told me – it was such a bittersweet feeling, and it was like he was so close but so beyond my reach at the same time."

"I do believe the bug of misfortune has bitten you – or it is just me," Kiku said, his fingers scrunching on Arthur's rose hued duvet out of nervousness. "That truly was horrible timing. But perhaps, confronted with the fact that you would be leaving, it did grant Prince Alfred some courage to finally tell you using the three words."

"I…If you put it that way," he said, hoisting his legs up where they were in the blankets so he could rest his hands and chin on his knees. "It would make sense. To be honest, I really couldn't tell who would say it first _if_ we did have a wedding."

"He has shown you how much exactly he loves you before though, yes?" Kiku said, tipping his head to one side.

"Well, of course." Arthur said, his eyes becoming tender which caused Kiku to smile fondly. "We've had issues and fights, yet he always talks them out with me. I know that he's not perfect as he's shown me his flawed side, but I thought I was going to be over my head but he's as scared as I am of being in such a position. Sometimes he's not as confident in himself as I can tell that he deserves to be, and I wish he could see himself as I do…"

Just at that moment, there was a knock on the door and both Arthur and Kiku turned to face in the direction of it, Arthur lifting his head and Kiku placing a foot on the bedroom floor.

"Sir Arthur!" a feminine voice called from behind the door, and Arthur began to rise from his bed but Kiku gave him an almost imperticible shake of his head and rose to greet the person instead. "Sir Arthur, this is your room, yes?"

Her eyes were strangely searching the moment she was invited into the room, and quickly zeroed on Kiku for some odd reason that he could not place, but reacted with astonishing speed.

"Sir, I received a me – oh! Your Highness!" the servant cried, and bolted into a curtsey so quickly that Arthur blinked in disbelief. "W-What brings you here, my Queen?"

"Sir Arthur is an esteemed guest of mine," Kiku said smoothly. "But he is also an extremely popular member of the Deciding, as you may recall."

"Of course, of course, Your Highness!" she spluttered, face turning red as she peered behind Kiku to catch a glimpse of Arthur. "I would not expect you to be in here without – without good reason!"

"Undoubtedly," Kiku replied swiftly, "That would be foolish. Nevertheless, may I ask whether the breakfast I requested earlier be delivered as soon as possible? I am sure that Sir Arthur must be tired after his _trip_."

"N-noted, Your Highness. Please, h-here is the letter for Sir Arthur," the maid said, holding it out and scurrying away as soon as Kiku plucked it from her gloved hands.

The words were strangely firm for someone who Arthur had known for most of his life to not be harsh unless he absolutely had to, and it was a question from him that greeted Kiku as soon as he returned back to the bed which he climbed on instead of sitting elegantly to the side.

"I apologise, Arthur," he said, placing the white envelope on the pillow next to him. "Naturally, with my coronation and a new face in the Primary Suit people still are quick to suspect even though I have received approval from those concerned directly to power. It was the same with Feliciano – and you saw how prying she was when she came into the room. It was suspicious because she saw you with me in a bedroom, which is somewhere that might not have been too appropriate to meet. I had to remind her that I could be trusted, and I have already entrusted myself to Heracles. It was not a good position to put you in."

"You shouldn't be apologizing for something that's not your fault…" Arthur said. "Still. It must be very taxing for you."

"Even more so when I am married," Kiku said, knocking a fist against his forehead. "I fear mostly for Heracles as he will be subject to court gossip – much as I suspect that Alfred will fear for you when you marry."

"It…it still seems so far away," Arthur mumbled into his clasped hands. "As if it's a dream. As if nothing's really happening."

"I still remember the first few letters where you subconsciously told me specific details even though you told me that you disliked him," Kiku said teasingly. "I do keep them, you know. The ones involving his arms more so-"

"K-Kiku!" Arthur spluttered, tossing off the blankets in shock. "I…goodness, I don't know what I was even _thinking_ , what sort of bumbling idiot could have invaded my mind back then, I,"

"You must have already subconsciously fallen for the prince then," he mused, adopting a mock scholar pose. "Settling for just friends with the prince is very hard, Arthur. Everyone in our holding facility alone must have had a crush on him sooner or later, may it be from day one or not."

"Even you?!" Arthur exclaimed, surprised. "You do have a point with that, though."

"Before I met and was acquainted with Heracles, obviously," Kiku said. "it just, really, served as keeping my hopes up for what would happen if the holding facilities released me for a Deciding. And while it did not necessarily work out that way…I still would say that I enjoyed my time there, as well as meeting you. And when I came to Hearts, everyone I met has been mostly accommodating with me, except for a few like that maid. I am also hoping to get back into regular contact with my estranged family."

Arthur – or anyone else, in fact – did not know anything much at all about Kiku's family, other than the fact that they were a prestigious family living in the Inner Circles of Hearts society and occasionally attended court.

Judging from what Kiku described as his oriental bloodline from his family, it had been maintained even after the mass epidemic had struck Cards that decimated a third of the population, some countries harder hit than others. Kiku's family had fled, much like other families, from Spades, one of the hardest hit countries, to nearby Hearts where the population was originally low but quickly grew to be the second most populated country in Cards after the epidemic – but they still managed to retain influence in the Inner Circle.

Kiku himself had only known a life of formality – as tradition within his family, his extended family lived together in a sprawling estate together, meaning that there was so many cousins and siblings that no one was particularly given plenty of attention. He was confronted with the choice of attending _yet another_ university or going to a holding facility as he was the one out of all his relatives to be in the age bracket. Wanting to differentiate but still more or less be as well taught as his relatives, he settled for the latter.

"I'm just so relieved that the Fates have been so kind to you and Heracles." Arthur said, nodding.. "When I saw his mother on that day with the rebels, I…I didn't know _what_ to think."

"I cannot tell you how relieved I am that he is recovering," Kiku spoke, warmth flowing at the mention of his sweetheart. "If the rebels would ever storm the palace or a battlefield, I fear that I could not use all of my strength to protect my country or Cards because of the fact that they have brought our soldiers and my love home."

"You know, I used to be a tad envious of your relationship with Heracles," Arthur confided. "But now, I'm not sure exactly what to think."

"I believe you and Alfred have come to care for each other as much as Heracles and I do," Kiku soothed, taking one of his best friend's hands in between his own. "But as you have only been lovers for a shorter time, it is nothing but natural to be confused in those feelings."

"I hope so, I…I really do care for him, Kiku," Arthur confessed, feeling heat inch onto his cheeks and dust the tops of his shoulders.

"Would you simply – _tell_ him about your feelings?" Kiku coaxed, giving his friend's hand a little squeeze. "Surely, he must have sensed your true emotions for him. Even I can tell by the way you talk about him your body language speaks volumes."

"How so?" Arthur blurted, not exactly sure that he wanted to know.

"Well, I have read it in your letters, seen it in the Spadian Broadcasts, saw it for myself even when we had the meeting before the Elite. So much time has passed, but with everything now, I can only see it more – your eyes soften, your cheeks redden, you bite your lip sometimes." Kiku listed off, ticking off a finger for each thing.

"Do I…" Arthur trailed off, but nodded. "Of course, I'd deny it as I usually would do, but I suspect it's hard with you."

"I will take that as a compliment, Art," Kiku grinned. "But yes, even though you haven't told him, I am convinced that he knows subconsciously."

"Fates, I hope so," he muttered, but scratched the side of his cheek. With all this talk about Alfred – he was supposed to not think about him for this week, but it didn't seem to be the case…

"Do you think I should let him know as soon as I get back?"

"Arthur, my friend, did you not tell me a while back that Alfred would not be holding back any more?" Kiku questioned, a knowing smile dancing on his lips as a knock resounded on the door again.

"Neither should you."

* * *

tbh this is my longest chapter so it counts as a super long apology (?)

thank you all for the long wait! i missed everyone :)

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 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	81. Intrigue

pops in

so this chapter's a bit more filler unfortunately - but the coronation is next chapter so please look forward to that!

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 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

The next few days were but a flurry of preparations around the palace, something that Arthur was relatively used to back in Spades.

However, he had to shamefully admit to himself that he preferred all the hustle and bustle to be centered around his best friend instead of him – the downside to this was that he did not get to spend much time with Kiku as he was constantly being dragged off to clothes preparations, fittings and the sort.

So most days, he was content with simply wandering around and exploring the Hearts palace, usually accompanied by a butler or a servant that took him on a small tour as requested by Kiku.

The gardens in Hearts were not as lavish as the ones in Spades, but Arthur noted that there was a different tinge and smell to some of the flowers compared to Spades – whereas the scent was a bit cleaner, like dewdrops after a rainy day, Hearts was a bit more earthy. Arthur simply couldn't resist cutting one when his guide wasn't watching and slipping it behind the pages of a book he brought to the palace…

But other than that, he had been on his best behaviour. He could tell that of course, with every visit comes the possibility of a difficult guest, but most days Arthur was happy to curl up in a warm pile outside the fireplace in the library, which was a slight taller than him, with a book and a cup of hot chocolate until dinner, where he would try to not be too terribly intimidated with the King and Jack.

One thing that did bring him comfort was the way that Kiku slotted in almost perfectly with them. King Ludwig had referred to him immediately with a bow of his own, one that Kiku reciprocated, but _still_. Jack Feliciano, oddly enough, looked as enthusiastic as they portrayed him in the media – but was nothing but kind as he toasted to them with a huge cheer – toasting the visitors every single dinner, no less - then they all tucked in heartily to their dinner. Whereas dinner in the Spades palace was a relatively quiet affair, the Hearts dinner table was full to bursting with laughter and chatter. So much that Arthur could barely keep up with who was with whom and who held favour…

However, the issue that caught his attention the most was the Jack's protruding stomach. _He must be nearing the end of his gestation_ , Arthur thought as he twisted the fork in his right hand. He had thought, at least from the last pregnancy that he had witnessed, that a carrying person would be gaunt and exhausted all the time. But strangely enough, Jack Feliciano's face was radiant – he seemed so at ease save for the fact that there was a large bump greatly hindering his movement.

"Ah, Sir Arthur!" Jack Feliciano said cheerfully, giving Arthur a little wave. "How are you feeling now you're in Hearts? As wonderful as in Spades, right?"

Several pairs of eyes cottoned onto Arthur, who tried to drop his fork on his eggs benedicts as elegantly as possible.

"Um, yes, it's absolutely stunning here." he said, wincing a little at how his voice wavered. "It's a lot warmer here, I would say."

The nobles and courtiers laughed at his response, and Arthur felt the corners of his mouth prinking into a smile as the Jack followed suit, and Kiku grinned at him encouragingly, but it quickly faded into embarrassment as he quickly realized that the court could be laughing _at_ him, not with him.

"Ah, I would think that the Clubs has more against you then just the weather," one of the courtiers snorted, but quickly sneezed into his napkin for some reason.

"…" Arthur didn't _quite_ know what to say. Was the feud with Alfred and King Ivan that well known?

"Lady Maria, please," King Ludwig said gruffly, and for a moment Arthur could not figure not how in the name of Fates Alfred wasn't intimidated by this man who could probably snap the table in half by looking at it.

But then, Alfred could essentially do the same…

"Don't frighten him. This land won't be touched by war for a while, unless the rebels suddenly become aggressive."

"Wonder why they aren't?" a noble to his left wondered out loud. "If they truly wish to repeal the First Law…"

"I thought all they needed was publicity." another said, taking a sip of her water. "What could they possibly gain by attacking powerful countries they have no chance against?"

Kiku and Arthur shared an uncomfortable glance.

"Perhaps it's to victimize themselves?" Arthur said quietly to himself, to which fifty eyes snapped to him. He blanched.

"Hmm? Sir Arthur, what do you mean by that?" the King said, looking intrigued. "That sounded like a point. Coming from another country, we'd love to hear your view."

As the murmur from the table died down, Arthur twisted his fingers together and hoped he wouldn't say something that would lead to his assassination.

"Your Highness, you said that they would not stand a chance against any of the four countries. It must be common knowledge, yes?"

"Undoubtedly," Ludwig said. "They only have had a reputation of annoyance, especially in these months."

"Their goals are to repeal the First Law and be recognized…if they can victimize themselves enough, they can cast the Primary Suits as oppressive monarchs to the people. And with the people's support, their rebellion will become a lot more formidable."

"That could be the reason why there have been no reported attacks on civilians," Kiku confirmed – as Queen, it was naturally his job to manage the military. "Perhaps, if they were to win over the people's favour…"

"What does he know?" another person to his left hissed. "The boy's just come over for the Queen's coronation, he does not know anything-"

"Adrian, you are mistaken," Ace Lovino said dryly, arching an eyebrow. "Sir Arthur here is part of the prestigious Elite in the Spadian Deciding. You could very well be speaking to the next Queen of Spades here."

"If he's getting married, you should be focusing on that as well." one of them muttered, and Lovino bristled, his expression angry for a heartbeat before he composed himself, fist scrunching around his napkin. Jack Feliciano looked concerned and leaned over the table, mouthing a few words that Lovino dismissed quietly.

"About your idea, though, Sir Arthur," Lovino continued. "I am…intrigued. Do you have any ideas on what we could do?"

"Gather the people's support – but we already mostly have it," Arthur said quietly. "And…talks."

The steady thrum of chatter filled the room as King Ludwig turned to face his Jack, Ace and Kiku, and Arthur decided he just really wanted to finish his dinner and head back.

"Words," one of them snorted. "Words won't win this war."

"We have not entered talks with them, ever," a noble said, but his expression was in very cautious agreement. "But if we can show to the public that we are willing to cooperate, it would reassure them. I am sure that they are tired of the conflict in the palaces as well."

"Your Highness, where are they now?" someone asked.

"Near our shared borders with Diamonds." Kiku picked up quickly. "A slightly larger number were on an extremely quick move since last night. I've alerted both Diamonds and Spades lest they divert their attention as they obviously _want_ to be found for publicity, if Sir Arthur's theory is correct..."

"Perhaps we shouldn't have given you so much flak your first week at court," one of the courtiers said, sickly sweet. "You seem to actually be doing your job."

A fork dropped to the floor, and Arthur paused to realize it was his.

* * *

"How are you enjoying the court?" Kiku said later that following evening in Arthur's room.

"Not really," Arthur laughed, pushing his hair back awkwardly. "Honestly, when I started talking I thought I had condemned my life or something."

"Well," Kiku said, looking away. "Coming into the life of royalty is pretty treacherous if you ask me. As you heard, they did doubt me in the beginning. But I am fighting, I assure you."

"I know you're strong," Arthur said, tugging free his tie. "I hope that you and the rest of the Primary Suit have sweeter conversations. I could not be more thankful when Ace Lovino defended me."

"Oh, you must not worry about that," Kiku said. "Everyone has been so accommodating, it was mainly court life speaking. Since you are only here on invitation, they might have viewed you lesser than them. And Ace Lovino is actually a very sweet man underneath his cold exterior. He reminds me…a little bit of you, really."

"Does he?" Arthur remarked.

"He was rather prickly when I first met him, but he has been friendly ever since," Kiku said cheerfully. "But he has been treated badly by the court as of late; they are anxious for him to marry someone. Lately, however, they have mounted the pressure on one particular suitor."

"Not even he is free from that scrutiny?" Arthur said.

"No one truly is," came the reply. "Save Ludwig, as they view him to have ultimate power as it used to be. But Lovino has been rumoured to have an interest in courting Antonio. That is not true, though. He is just tired of this whole 'romance' thing overshadowing his work – recently, he managed to secure a trading deal with Diamonds that would enable a fifth of our large population to have more support with filling their dinner tables. But no, all the court pesters him is marrying him off, so to complete the Primary Suit."

"That's horrible. Even tonight, they cut in asking whether he'd be focusing on that. He must be a very noble man, and even as Ace that is a large burden."

"I have tried to do my best to reassure him, but it does get intimidating sometimes when I see someone far more experienced than I be denounced like that. And it's before even the coronation…"

Arthur wasn't sure what exactly he could say, so he took his friend's hand in his own like he did the second morning he came to this unfamiliar palace, providing his friend comfort in the unknown.

* * *

The next morning, right before they were both were scheduled for another fitting for the coronation, they were interrupted as they left the breakfast room.

"Y-Your Highness!" A soldier was there, clothed in the red armour of Hearts. "King Ludwig and Ace Lovino have requested an audience with you and Sir Arthur below."

"An audience?" they both wondered out loud, but wasted no time in walking down, save Arthur who was a little behind as he tried to readjust his mussed tie.

"Your Highnesses," Kiku said, bowing as low as he could as Arthur quickly followed suit, before he felt a gloved hand tap his shoulder. Ace Lovino.

"Queen Kiku, Sir Arthur," they said, exchanging an unusually cordial glance.

"I apologise for my intrusion at last night's dinner," Arthur said quickly, hoping to slap a band aid over a possibly already gaping wound. "It was not my place-"

"Nonsense," Ace Lovino cut in, and Arthur could tell that he was smirking. "It was a conversation. It wouldn't have done you any good sitting down and looking completely embarrassed. But still, takes some guts."

"T-Thank you for standing up for me yesterday," Arthur said, doing yet another quick bow. "It meant a lot."

"Please, it was nothing," Lovino said. "I've been on the receiving side of those fangs more than once. No one deserves to be alone with them."

"Lovino," Ludwig said quietly, but nodded. "Yes. It appears with someone new they are bolder to act. But you handled yourself well last night, and you did make some good points which is deserving of praise and action. We're asking to act on them tonight."

"Tonight?" Kiku asked. "I believed that they were making progress, but so steadfast…"

"They seemed to have split and tried to send parties forward to see which got the farthest. A springboard, if you will."

"This'll mean that there could be an attack," Ludwig said. "Probably tonight or tomorrow morning. But then the group could be smaller – should we sound the alarm."

"Alert all of them for the hell of it," Lovino snarked. "They want their publicity, they've got it. We can try to get a talk with them if their group is smaller. After that, we'll proceed with the coronation, so we all have to go to some damned dress fitting in time for the attack. Is that OK with you, Kiku? You as well, Sir Arthur. It would make sense for you to remain with Kiku just in case they come earlier."

The two boys nodded, and Ace Lovino acknowledged Ludwig once before heading for the door. Arthur turned on his well pressed shoes, opening the door for both him and Kiku to leave, but as soon as the two of them were out the door Ludwig asked Arthur to stay behind.

"Your Highness?" Arthur blurted. "Is there something="

"Sir Arthur, I believe we will be talking about a rather private subject, so I wished to wait after the two of them were gone." Ludwig said, beckoning to two arm chairs. "Please, sit."

* * *

"May I ask…what has happened in New Years in Spades?" Ludwig asked.

"What – what happened?" Arthur said, his tone confused. "Erm. I didn't spend too much time on festivities and focused on preparing for the trip. Other than that, the same type of celebration…"

"Alfred told me something a little while ago," Ludwig confided. "That he was looking to end your Deciding."

"Yes, he did say it was to be over around the New Year. Perhaps it's even over now." Arthur said, trying to keep his voice light, but the possibility struck his chest. What if…

"…Duchess, Sir Arthur, please don't look so stricken." Ludwig said. "I highly doubt it after how Alfred has been behaving these few months."

"He's been in contact with you?" Arthur blurted, to which he nodded _yes_.

"Prince Alfred completed his apprenticeship with me last year," Ludwig said. "We've been friends ever since. However, did nothing really extraordinary happen during New Years?"

"Um. Well, there is something, but I'm not exactly sure if it is my place…" Arthur said, thinking back to the botched proposal and the New Years kiss. He allowed himself just another thought of Alfred's smiling face, his tender eyes and blushing face, before shaking himself out of Spades.

"No, please, I do not wish to intrude on your privacy," Ludwig amended quickly, pushing back a strand of his slicked back hair. "It was just…I was intrigued as to whether you are already queen."

"Already queen – no, no, Alfr – Prince Alfred hasn't formally ended the Deciding yet, no," Arthur said, a little embarrassed. "I hope I didn't give the impression."

"Ah, I thought simply by the way you carried yourself yesterday and today, there was something a little more regal than I would have expected – from my own experience, that is." Ludwig said, with something akin to a grimace like smile on his face. "Still, I would not be surprised if I were talking to the future Queen of Spades. The soldiers, Spadian and Hearts alike, reported that you took time to see to crowds. That is a quality all royals treasure. Good luck, Sir Arthur."

"I'll treat Prince Alfred right," Arthur said, and he felt his tone become a little more gentle, a little less apprehensive. "He deserves only the best. Your Highness, I want to assure you that I won't abuse him or his affection."

"I see that my best friend is in good hands," Ludwig said, relief in his tone as the two of them made their way to the door. "Thank you for that, Sir Arthur. However, you must remind him that naming a child Orange is still not a good idea."

And so with that, Arthur mentally fainted.

* * *

 _Back in the palace of Spades, where Jack Yao has just received a message from the Jack Feliciano._

"Good evening, Feliciano," Yao said. "What brings you here to the port? I do hope you're getting some rest for the infant."

"Alfred, it's _really_ not a good reason to be eavesdropping," Matthew said disapprovingly. "Would you be happy if you found out I was listening to all your gossip with Ludwig."

"Come on, Matt!" Alfred whined, tugging his jacket a little closer around his shoulders as he strained to listen to his guardian speak.

"I just want to know what's going on over there, to see if Arthur's OK. You know the report with the rebels…"

"I believe that Hearts can look after themselves," Matthew said dryly. "Now, stop pining and go back to work."

"You're no fun," Alfred pouted, but did as he was told. After all, Yao always buried himself in his work as a distraction. Since the process was coming to a close, he wanted to finish up the week's report and clear the board before finishing the note.

It was a little thing, really – nothing too drab or nothing too lavish as Alfred knew Arthur liked things with more sentimental value than pomp.

It was a small pocket watch, embroidered with blue roses around the rim and tiny Roman numerals marking one to twelve. The finishing was golden, and a small chain was fastened to it with a pearl, like the ones Alfred knew Arthur liked to wear on his jackets and clothes to give a little regal flair to it.

The gift, wrapped in a box that was blue like robin eggs, was ready to be delivered, but Alfred was a little nervous. What if he didn't like it? What if he didn't find it exciting enough? He really wanted to impress his sweetheart this time.

Alfred went into Matthew's room first as they were both _still_ talking about the possibility of a secret organization method that the rebels had created on multiple attacks ("Hey, Matt, maybe they're going to hit Clubs again-") and how dire their chances of being hit in the next months ("ALFRED. Your petty feud has gone too far.")

"You better get some good night's sleep unlike yesterday," Matthew said sternly. "Not like last night. Just because your beloved is a few hours away doesn't mean I'll let you slack."

"Aww, and I thought I was the older brother," Alfred grinned, but patted Matthew's shoulder in thanks. "I will, man."

"It was only by a few minutes!" Matthew retorted with a snort, and slipped the door shut.

"Gah, I hope this note won't be too cheesy," Alfred thought out loud as he turned the small card he had attached with the parcel.

 _Counting down the hours until I can see you again. Be safe, my princess._

 _I miss you bunches,_

 _Alfred_

* * *

 ** _I was thinking of starting a Discord chat for this fic + beyond. Was wondering if anyone was interested? If so, tell me :)_**

* * *

replies

 _vivadragnire_ \- yep! it feels great to be back.

 _pastaaddict_ \- i swear arthur's going to whip out a pen, write 'i love you' 600 times then mail it back to spades. there job done

 _gatita yaoi_ \- oh i see! maybe because it was much more two scenes sewed together that it didn't really have much time for polish. thank you for the criticism though!

 _emotions_ \- i mean the more giripan in one's life, the better lmao

 _n kukuri chan_ \- ...i bought twenty doujinshis if that counts! and for the fans, i was actually thinking about the fandom and how aph england is so friggin popular, so then i took that angle and ran with it. and arthur and kiku have been each other's only person looking out for each other ever since their childhood, so i think that bond would stay strong even as they are separated for the first time in around 10-15 years! also, about the jealousy thing, i don't think arthur was jealous of the _person_ per say but rather wanting a sort of loving relationship like theirs? and no, they're not married. that's something i'm saving ;D

for the last section though, since kiku's family is so numerous and hearts is so densely packed (they have the largest population), they wouldn't have land they could give to everyone. wanting to fight for individuality but staying in the system, which i feel would be something japan would do, i thought he would take that course of action. a holding facility is sort of to train viable people with potential to be able to be part of a primary suit one day, but then they would look for aspects such as looks as well as magic potential and intelligence, etc. hope this clears up some things, please ask me if you're still uncertain :) my world building was kind of shit so i need to work on that!

* * *

 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	82. Thinking

right i know i said that this one was going to be the coronation but the chapter's already very long and it's 2am + i'm on the brink of passing out lol.

i know the plot for the next section, so things _are_ definitely going to be moving on!

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

"Good morning, Sir Arthur," was the first thing Arthur heard that morning instead of Kiku's teasing cajoling for him to wake up. "It's eight o'clock now…"

"Unf?" Arthur mumbled, rubbing on his eyes tiredly. At least he didn't feel like the dead because he didn't stay up too late last night compared to the others where he talked with Kiku. But he didn't talk with Kiku last night because-

"The coronation," he gulped, pressing a closed fist to his mouth. "Have I missed it?"

"No, Sir Arthur," the maid insisted, looking a little confused. "The ceremony is at noon, but we've elected to do a drill for preparation for the rebel forces. Queen Kiku has requested your presence down in the gallery on the second floor of the south wing. Please, let me lead you there."

 _That's terribly specific_ , Arthur wondered to himself, as he quickly got dressed in a simple jacket that was a neutral beige colour. _Perhaps they have a secret door back there?_

The whole palace seemed to be alive with something that was a mix between apprehension and excitement, and he could hear snatches of conversation as they made their way briskly down the hallways.

"Who are these people? Trying to ruin a coronation," two servants hissed to each other. "I know. By the Fates, who knows when we'll have another one like this. A Queen, no less!"

"The Elite from the Spades Kingdom said something about talking with them," another huffed, adjusting her shoulder pads. "As if words won't make them stop invading the palace. It's too hopeless…"

"You don't say, Andrea," the brown haired butler said next to her. "I mean, it does make sense on paper, but then with their numbers I doubt that we'll have a moment to shout a truce before those tyrants run us through with an axe or whatever they use in battles nowadays."

"Ugh, and I was going to be standing guard today, near the new queen at the ceremony," she replied grumpily. "He's so handsome, don't you think?"

"I already have a family of three…" came the exasperated reply. "And a new queen needs more than beauty to be good at their role."

"Fates, you _must_ be fun at parties." she huffed as Arthur and the maid moved on.

"Why can't they just repeal the stupid First Law?" A child asked, holding a small serving plate and skipping alongside a butler. "Uncle, you've gotta tell me."

"Everyone in Cards has to share magic, as your father's told you," the butler replied, bending down to pat her head. "Those Joker people need much more compared to us normal folk. Remember?"

"Something about jeans," the little girl piped up. "Mama told me that too! They were like sponges, right?"

"…Along the lines of that, Mae," he replied. "But yes, _genes_. Whereas normal people who weren't born with a skill for magic, the Jokers needed more to stay alive. Even later, when the Jokers started turning people to take them as apprentices when the Fates started accepting them, this power kept on going."

"One more thing about them though, Uncle – wasn't there something odd abo't their skin?" she said.

"It's their skin," the butler answered her. "They're usually pretty pale. It's their sort of magic that does it to them. But yes, the reason we can't is because the Primary Suits need that power to defend us from the other countries. That's why we can't have them out and about in our magic rich lands, because they would soak it all up again."

"Is that why we made the Drift?" she asked.

 _The Drift_? Arthur asked himself mentally, taking a moment to pause. He remembered it as being the only place where the people of the Jokers were exiled after they were discovered to all keep abnormal amounts of magic in their bodies, weakening the countries as a whole.

The year before the mass exile was when the then Queen of Diamonds passed away, as a recessive defect found most commonly in Diamonds had been found in her genetic makeup that needed a certain amount of magic in her body to sustain her life, much more than most – but the rare mutation was caused by her half-Joker mother. The reason why it had been most prominent in Diamonds was because of the high population of the Joker people – unlike the other four kingdoms, they were considered wild cards and to not belong nor relate to a fixed kingdom. After a wild drought in the summer devastated their neighbours, the Hearts, many fled to Diamonds, increasing the burden on the country, a symptom that ultimately proved fatal to the queen as the amount of magical energy needed to sustain her life was simply not enough.

Her brother the King, stricken with grief, started a law to banish all people who carried even a single gene in their blood that would cause this mutation into a distant island where their magical energy would operate separately to the large continent of Cards, as he did not want what he thought as a 'faulty' group of people to settle anywhere as justice. The reasons why it passed were lost to history, but it was named the First Law and it wasn't until the two Jokers were birthed due to a point in time, decades later after the Queen of Diamonds' passing, where a war raged across the continent between Diamonds and Hearts.

It first started over a simple territory disagreement over a port very close to both their borders, and then escalated when Diamonds sent forces to attack the area. Hearts retaliated quickly, and they fought for eight months before Clubs fought with Diamonds. Spades, already hateful of their northernmost neighbours, immediately came to Hearts's aid, establishing the modern alliances within Cards. For seven years, the war raged on.

Desperate and ravaged by cold, Clubs formulated a plan to bring a mediator back to the shores of Cards in the form of a refugee from the Drift, as it was called the place of the Jokers' exile. The refugee became the First Joker and from then on, he operated alone with the peacekeeping of Cards until he took on a companion, a young mage with a talent of leadership – the first to be changed instead of being born as one. This was what spurred the tradition of having only two recognized Jokers in the land at all times; without recognition of magic anyone in Cards had their powers locked away.

"Yes, little one," her uncle said softly. "That's why we can't just recognize them. We would all collapse."

* * *

"Thank you very much," Kiku said cordially to the maid as soon as the two of them entered the gallery. "Please, find your group immediately as it is twenty minutes past eight and we are due at nine, miss."

"Noted, Your Highness," she said quickly, dipping her head once and crossing her feet into a little curtsey before scampering outside the room.

"Good morning, Arthur," Kiku smiled. "I hope you did manage to catch breakfast?"

"Not really, no. I was just late last night thinking about things." Arthur admitted awkwardly. "But why aren't we going to a safe room if there's going to be a rebel attack?"

"…well, first of all, this gallery is one of my favourite places in the palace, and the second is that Ace Lovino and I are going to attempt to kick start a discussion with a rebel group." Kiku said levelly.

"Really?" Arthur said, but looked doubtful. "But from what I've heard while coming up, there are doubts about the plan. Conceived by a person that only has ties to royalty through his best friend."

"And the Prince, soon to be King of Spades, is deeply in love with you," Kiku countered. "But that does not matter when it comes to ideals. Perhaps bizarre ideas are needed for a stalemate that we do not want to see end in violence."

"There won't be anyone else coming…right?" Arthur said. He did not want to admit it out of fear of stepping out of line, but he was concerned for the Jack and his unborn child.

"Some guards, but that is all," Kiku reassured. "Hera – I mean, everyone else is secure for now. I hope this will work…"

"You don't have to be ashamed of worrying about him." Arthur said, his eyes flicking back from a painting of a dock and a lone boat to Kiku's tight eyes, furrowed eyebrows and pursued lips – too carefully composed. "It's natural. So, should we meet Ace Lovino back in the foyer again?"

He gave a little, knowing chuckle, and let his feet glide over the red carpet. Kiku tapped the floor with his sandalwood shoes three times, and a little _pop_ appeared underneath the carpet, two metres from where Arthur was standing under the painting.

"Of course not, Art – like the people we are, we will travel in _style_."

* * *

 _All right,_ Arthur thought to himself as he sidestepped yet another cobweb, _this is a relatively safe staircase. Stylish…I don't think so._

But it was always humbling to see how Kiku operated here as if he had been in the castle the whole life – how he never hesitated when turning over a dubious corner whereas Arthur looked back and forth at every twisted way, how he lifted his robes and edged across a stone while Arthur clumsily tried to imitate his movements even though he was wearing slightly more appropriate shoes for dungeon crawling.

Perhaps it could have been his slightly more prestigious start in life, but he had definitely come a long way from the magic potent roommate Arthur had always known as a best friend.

However, just as Kiku had said – that didn't mean everything had to change. Underneath all the layers of refinery and poise that Kiku now exhibited a little more than he had used to, he was still himself, and Arthur didn't have to worry about the Queen of Hearts and losing his friendship.

"Is everything still all right back there? You have gone very quiet…" A little too late, Arthur realized that Kiku had come to a complete stop and only their breaths were echoing off the walls of the secret passageway. "If you are not comfortable with this, I can always let you go back upstairs and let me and Ace Lovino to handle it…"

"No, no!" Arthur said quickly, placing a hand on Kiku's shoulder to show that he was still following him. "This was my idea, and you know that I'll take responsibility for it."

"Well, all right," Kiku said as he kept on going, but a small burst of warmth erupted in his chest.

After he and Arthur were separated for the first time since they were assigned to be roommates, Kiku had been thinking of his friend as regularly as he knew his other friend did. Was Arthur OK in this new, unfamiliar environment? Since he knew that it was all up to the prince to choose the princess and would be queen, he knew that the process could stretch out for months longer than Hearts's Fates would even dare to wait for so long.

But as soon as Kiku - and his fellow Chosen, naturally – continued to watch the Deciding over in Spades, he could see Arthur. First it was a small interview talking about how he felt – the embarrassed smile and side glances during the interview, as well as a silence that had been most of his character in the earliest days since they had known each other, revealed to Kiku that he was feeling a little insecure, and that did cause some concern.

Kiku tried not to mention it too much in their correspondence, but he did have his doubt until they met at the meeting on the summer solstice. At first, he was greatly relieved that Arthur seemed to have settled down somewhat with his new friends, but as soon as Arthur elaborated on his relatively complicated relationship with the prince, all those disconcerting feelings flooded back…

He had always had the fear of not being able to fit back into his old life – as a queen, things would change very quickly indeed. Kiku had initially resigned himself to losing Heracles, but confronted with the possibility of not being able to salvage Arthur and Matthew's, to a lesser extent, friendship would be a difficult blow. He had privately wondered whether he could cope, but now Arthur felt and sounded all very comfortable in his proximity to the crown, Kiku allowed himself to let most of his formality drop when it was just the two of them together, like old times.

Although, he did find it funny to see Arthur so jittery around Felci and Ludwig as his current self was so at ease with them – but Kiku remembered that his past self would have been exactly the same so he never fully teased Arthur on this, even though he was tempted to right after their first meals together.

"Kiku?" Arthur's curious voice broke him out of his reverie, and he whirled behind, green eyes meeting brown. "I think we've walked left for a bit longer than what I would consider normal."

Kiku blanched, and he paused for a moment before skimming his slender fingers against the left wall of the muggy tunnel. The air was different here – but not the grassy, earthier smell that he was looking for. He closed his eyes.

At this rate, Lovino would be alone…

"Art, I need a little space," he said, his voice echoing in the dim light. "I will search for a mass of magical energy, that way we can find Ace Lovino. Er, ten steps please?"

"Ten steps?" Arthur said, hands sketching alongside the stone as he carefully made his retreat. "Kiku, how will you-"

It quickly turned out that Kiku was not almost-Queen in all but name.

With a call that was both high pitched yet minute, something akin to a series of tiny bells knocking against each other, Kiku's shut eyes opened for a heartbeat, searching and curious. Not the right…he retreated a little, catching on a higher magical signature, but that was only a clump of the servants – probably the kitchen. Taking a sharp turn right from there, he felt Feliciano's presence pulsating and warm. Surely in the best safe room they had to offer, in the north wing.

 _The meeting room's on the northwest,_ he told his conjured magic in his head, the mess of energy soaking it up. _Go!_

* * *

When Kiku's feet seemed to start moving by themselves, Arthur followed cautiously, doing his best to maintain the prescribed distance. His best friend was acting so…off, as if there was something else past his own brain that was guiding him. Kiku's feet shuffled around uncertainly at moments, but at others he was pacing quickly, fixated at a set point like one who had just found a bounty of treasure.

"Kiku?" Arthur asked as they turned to the right again, following a two sided fork in the path. His best friend was still going swiftly. "What's going on-"

"Arthur!" Kiku cried, whipping around – confused once more. "Oh, thank the Fates. I worried that I was going too fast. I believe we're here now. I shall go up first in case of any trouble up there. But there is no commotion…"

"How did you do that?" Arthur blurted, his mind swimming with questions, but Kiku only smiled.

"I will tell you later, my friend, I promise on the Fates," he replied. "But for now, we have lives to change."

One rung after the other, Arthur felt his way up to air as a click of a hatchet revealed the face of Ace Lovino.

* * *

"Thank the Fates you two arrived when you did," the Ace said the moment Arthur got both of his feet out of the door. "I was about to shove the carpet back on top."

"I got a little caught in thought," Kiku said, but the two of them shared a laugh as they took a seat around the large oak meeting table. "But Lovino, how is the situation?"

"Tiring, as usual," he grounded out. "They seem to be traveling in a pack, from the number you ran out last night. So maybe they're sending them in fleets? Sir Arthur, what do you think?"

"What do I-" Arthur stammered, then quickly pulled out his shirt that surely looked like a right disaster after the fiasco in the tunnels. "Oh, um, Your Highness, I don't have a specific idea in mind. It was just...the idea of communicating with the rebels."

"…Right." Lovino said, then edged out of his chair. "And I'm not inclined to believe that your head is a hell of an empty space. It's not happening, kid. Use that head and give us something."

" _Think back to the holding facilities,"_ Kiku mouthed (at least, that was what it looked like to Arthur. But it did make sense – they had a few tactical based lessons in their holding facilities, but it was so long ago…)

But _this_ was what made a queen. Battles had to be won, and it was their job to find tactics, to find the way to win them. Now, something about them being in a group…

"It means that they will be smaller, right?" Arthur said, seemingly to himself, then his eyes shot to Ace Lovino's, a hybrid of chocolate and amber meeting jade. "The groups will be smaller than any of your men combined. So – essentially, we basically make them in a position where they can't refuse."

"Surround them? Ambush them when they come within proximity of the palace?" Lovino said thoughtfully. "Hm. Perhaps, though combat would make us look bad."

"We might not need to, Lovino." Kiku spoke up. "We could surround them, disarm them and bring them in. Ludwig and I will do it-"

"Kiku, you have a coronation tonight," Lovino said, and let the smallest of smiles drift onto his face. "As your last duty before becoming queen, I request that you take Sir Arthur here to Felci and stay there with them. I need both of them to be in a safe condition. Do you understand me?"

Kiku faltered a little, but nodded at this request, thinly veiled as a command.

"There is one thing I must ask of you – please see if there is any way to record or tape the room where you are having the meeting. The both – we all deserve to know."

Lovino's expression was bemused as he walked back to the table, kicking over the carpet as he went past.

"Consider it done, kid."

 _I want to help too_ , Arthur thought internally, but let himself be led back to safety, away from any sort of action. The feeling of not being wanted left a hollow feeling in his chest the whole journey to the safe room.

* * *

zzzz

also thank you to em, one who speaks in youtube urls, for betaing this for me lol

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replies

 _gatita - yaoi -_ ahah thank you! this was completely from scratch so i'm happy it went along better.

 _CFAA_ \- he's not gone just yet! even though a lot of this is about arthur he's still there.

 _pastaaddict_ \- you're right in a sense - you have to be careful whose toes you step on.

 _vivadragnire_ \- discord's basically a large chat group - we can talk about fic related shenanigans and other things there.

 _russia says hello_ \- i mean, even in the canon verse they're super formal towards each other even though they're canonly friends, so i wanted to bring that side of them to this verse as well. and muahaha.

 _livandra_ \- yes they are! nearing the end now :0

 _hearthorse11_ \- mhmm - it's on my profile if you're interested dear!

 _n kukuri chan_ \- i hope this chapter really clears up some misconception! my worldbuilding really needs work oTL. but then they would seek to use lovino much more as a barganing chip than care about his actual feelings - i usually see lovino with antonio lots and i thought it would be a good change for lovino to not be romantically attached, at least for now, as i think it does suit his more independent character (in contrast to feliciano). but yeah, the thing w/ ludwig is alfred probably put him up to it! germany and america really have an unspoken bond in their characters that i love spoiling; whereas arthur and kiku love to be formal ludwig is secretly relieved he can 'let his hair loose' with alfred, so i think their friendships kind of function as foils for each other?

and there's no reason to be embarrassed? everyone's messages (longer the better LMFAO) always make my day.

* * *

 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	83. Breathless

**FINALLY**. the coronation i apologise it's taken so long! we get a spot of plot + some fluff near the end. :)

(lmao this is short until i ruined it with this note rip)

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

Once guards had herded Kiku and Arthur into the safe room and the doors were shut firmly, everything went quiet.

The room was dimly lit perhaps due to the depth of where it was located inside the palace, and was furnished with an extremely bare-bones design in mind, with steel beds and plain blankets and pillows and grey walls. The space gave out an extremely industrial feel, not at all welcoming in the cold weather, which it seemed to radiate.

Feliciano was fast asleep, no doubt tired about all the commotion and the preparation for the relatively confusing day. The way they treated the threat of rebels was akin to a tiny mishap, not something that could claim lives. And on the same day of the coronation, as well!

"I can't help but feel so useless," Arthur said bitterly. "It feels wrong that it's my idea but I'm not going to do anything past suggesting it."

"Art, you might want to keep your voice down," Kiku's voice was gentle as he chided him. "I believe that Feliciano needs a rest."

"I don't want to leave the burden upon Ace Lovino and King Ludwig," Arthur said. "What if the plan doesn't work?"

"Arthur, with these things – you are not just considered a queen, but a leader. You do not know what is going to happen." Kiku said. "What makes queens and leaders who they are is how they adapt with a situation. To learn to grow aside it. You suggested a fine idea, now you must trust others to do their part. Please, can you do this for me? For all of Cards, if we can secure peace?"

Arthur's breath stilled, mouth tensing in dissent but he let himself mull over Kiku's words.

He was greatly inexperienced, after all. He wouldn't know what exactly to say in front of such a volatile crowd, and if he said something poor or out of character, it would reflect badly on Spades and Alfred. Arthur didn't want to imagine a possibility of Alfred being blamed for something that was wholeheartedly his own fault.

"It is…oddly quiet this time around," Kiku murmured, leaning against the steel frame of the bed, pausing for a moment and getting onto it, Arthur following suit. "Perhaps it will be easier compared to last time. Hearts has not been attacked in large numbers like Spades, possibly because we do not have a Joker in our residence. Diamonds has also been targeted more brutally as they have Joker Gilbert under their sponsorship."

"Maybe," Arthur said, but pressed his hands to his fists in tense waiting. The last time an attack had happened, Alfred's back was sliced up with lashes from his advisors' punishments, and he wanted to leave out of fear… "Hey though, Kiku, you might want to get some beauty sleep. Your coronation will happen tonight if everything goes well."

" _Pfft_ ," Kiku snorted, but crawled onto the bed next to Arthur's, just like old times. "I am already beautiful enough. As radiant as a queen can be."

"I know, I know," Arthur nodded in confirmation, tugging the blanket around his head. "But you'll be falling over your feet in exhaustion anyway."

"I am still worried about Heracles," Kiku murmured, his brown eyes blinking in the poorly lit room. "I know that they must have put all the patients and soldiers in safe rooms, but I cannot help but wonder and worry."

"If I was in your position, I'd do the same. So don't feel guilty about it." Arthur said.

"I am impressed how you have managed to not gush about the prince, because if I were in _your_ position, I would be talking a lot," Kiku said, with a sly smile that hinted at him trying to purloin information. "Imagine Prince Heracles, the most eligible boy in all of Cards, stunning and handsome with Kiku, a boy from a holding facility, both of them madly smitten with each other. On the other side of the country, Queen Arthur with his sweetheart returned to his kingdom by a group of rebels."

"Kiku!" Arthur laughed, trying to cover his blush. "That's a completely bizarre swap of our - situation, so to speak. Still, what if…? I would be over my head with worry, obviously. Those wounds…always cause some kind of concern."

"I would just talk about him, if I was in that situation, whenever we had the time," Kiku grinned. "Describe him at arm's length, talk about how his eyes glimmer and how he holds me and how his _arms_ feel like-"

Just then, Feliciano turned over in discomfort, his and King Ludwig's child rolling with him like some beach ball. He let out a small sigh, then went back to sleep.

"Oh dear," Kiku said, wincing a little and sinking his head back into his pillow, wrapping his stiff sheets around his chin. "Well, Arthur, I will use this conversation later on to have an excuse to gush about Heracles before you leave in a few days."

"Now that you say it, this has been the fastest week of my life." Arthur joked. "Never mind that, come over and gush about him, whether it be a swap or not. Take a break, Kiku."

"You too, Art."

* * *

The sunset filtering off the curtains of the prep room flecked Arthur's surroundings as he sat on a chair, turning the cufflinks of his tailored suit in his fingers.

It was hard to believe that only mere hours ago that there was the imminent possibility of a rebel attack. The palace hadn't seen any sort of damage, save from the two hours that were claimed to be lost. There was just one component left, though, and it was that King Ludwig and Ace Lovino were nowhere to be found.

Both Kiku and Arthur still found solace in the fact that Jack Feliciano had not been alerted and did not seem afraid or paranoid, cheerfully staying with Kiku throughout the whole preparation process for the coronation that was at six. Five o'clock had come and gone, and now…

"Sir Arthur," a woman asked, her hair scraped neatly into a bun, "Have you been briefed on the coronation process?"

"Um, a little," Arthur admitted, finger going up to his slicked back hair which made her visibly wince. "I'm going to be sitting in the third row, two to the left?"

She pulled out her clipboard and squinted at it before nodding, tilting up her glasses before walking away.

"Five minutes, everyone!" the woman barked as she strode away. "I want the queen outside and ready by ten to six."

"Arthur…" Kiku's faint voice came from outside the screen. "I do not feel like the beauty sleep was enough…"

Arthur simply smiled, and pulled at the sleeves of his suit before crossing his legs and sitting.

* * *

Kiku's calm eyes fixed upon the end of the hallway of the throne room moments later, his chest quivering but not willing to show his nervousness.

This was the moment he would put his old life behind him, as Kiku of the house of Honda in the Inner Circle, but rather Queen Kiku of Hearts.

"I'll come and see you right after the coronation dinner," Arthur whispered in his ear – looking refined in his black suit, neutral and not accentuated with the colours of a Kingdom – probably to fit in with the rest of the guests. It was a small audience of nobles from all of Cards, except the Primary Suits – they would come again to pay homage in another ceremony mimicking this one for safety purposes. "You'll do great, Kiku. I know you will. Just…chin up, there."

Kiku smiled a little, feeling the nerves in his stomach lessen after his best friend's little tease. "Yours will come very soon after this, I bet. I will fight tooth and nail to be there – at both the wedding and the crowning."

"It's not like anything's been set in stone, you're going a little too far," Arthur said, blushing a little. "Nevertheless. You look wonderful."

"I am sorry, Arthur, but I use my eyes," Kiku said evenly, carefully keeping his gaze straight as attendants straightened his long robe. "But I do hope I do not look like an utter mess."

"If you're an utter mess, what are we all?" Arthur retorted, but snuck a gloved hand underneath his scarlet robes to give his hand a quick squeeze. "I'm in the third row. Also – I checked up on Heracles, he's currently resting in a room on the same floor as you. Put in a good word."

"Oh dear, Art, did anyone else see? I have no intention of defacing my _ii-mage_ ," Kiku joked, but let out a little laugh all the same. "But thank you."

"May the Fates bless you, Your Highness," Arthur said, doing a little bow and going off to his place.

If Kiku had been the young, impressionable child he had been with Arthur, he would have run after him, perhaps. Made a little noise, asking him to remain with his side for as long as humanly possible.

But with the faith that his best friend, and the rest of Hearts, and the Primary Suit had placed on him, this was his first step into the world of royalty. And he couldn't let them down now.

"Your Highness, when you hear the music begin, please step forward and follow procedure," an attendant spoke, bowing deeply.

As the music swelled up and the attendants parted so that Kiku was

alone, his scarlet cape, the banner of Hearts, fanned out behind him as he took careful, calculated steps towards the new throne of the Queen.

King Ludwig, Jack Feliciano and Ace Lovino, standing in a small trinity around it, all bowed their heads to him as he came up the steps as a show of respect. Kiku's heart lifted just for a moment – he knew that they were safe after the threat of the rebels, but just seeing them made him all the more relieved. His immaturely pressed shoes toed the line of the final step and bowed, closing his eyes as Ludwig stepped forward, placing the queen's crown on his head.

Lovino was the next one to come forward, his eyes animated as he presented the scepter and the royal orb, as well as a signet ring with an alexandrite gem. He was bound, 'married', to the Kingdom from now on, Kiku thought to himself as Lovino helped him slip it on, being the youngest member of the Primary Suit. Feeling the red gems studded along a strip across the orb, and the golden curves that met underneath a magnificent jewel – the jewel's support, as he would now be for Hearts. Lovino beckoned for him to rise, then gave him a very small smile as reassurement, and then resumed his place.

Feliciano followed in his haste, beaming from ear to ear – a leather bound book stained with red, where he would take his oath upon the country whom he will serve. He bent his head, carefully tilting it just so his tiara wouldn't tip over, and closed his eyes, his heart thumping in his chest.

He tried to clear his head of thought as Feliciano recited the age old words with a steady voice, weaving words that told of courage and devotion to their people, and a lifetime purely of service.

"Will you, Kiku Honda, accept this life that the Fates have deemed you noble enough to embark on?" Feliciano began.

To which Kiku replied, "I do."

"Will you also accept this task of protecting not only the people of Hearts, but of all Cards?" Feliciano said solemnly.

Kiku's eyes met with his, and he nodded once again.

"I do."

"Now, you must place your hand on the book and repeat after me the vows that you will pledge to the Fates and to this world. I, Kiku Honda…" Feliciano began.

"...I, Kiku Honda…"

* * *

"I am humbled to acknowledge the country and all gathered here tonight as your new Queen," Kiku said, his voice clear through the silence that rippled through the crowd gathered outside the palace.

Arthur waited behind him, his hands behind his back as he listened to the Queen of Hearts give his first speech to the people – really, a ten minute affair that Kiku had thrown together hastily after the dinner and thirty minutes with Heracles, who he had made sure would be in a room directly a floor underneath him, the closest they could possibly be to each other.

He tuned out for the most part of the speech, having heard it while Kiku did his utmost to remember, and let his eye catch onto the small sliver of sky he could see from behind the balcony. It was already night, and the winter breeze had sharpened significantly.

He would be going home tomorrow, back to Spades.

…back to Alfred.

 _I've almost spent the whole week not thinking about him_ , Arthur thought to himself, because he couldn't be certain that anyone who picked up on the morsel of information wouldn't spread it around to great effect. _But why now…_

The moment hit him the moment raucous clapping came from both around him and outside, people cheering Kiku's new title and 'Long live the Queen!'

 _I…I miss him._

"It means the world," Kiku continued, a little louder to be heard above the cheers, in the corner of Arthur's peripheral vision. "It means the world to have the people, as well as the Fates, deem me fit enough to rule this noble country. I swear to all and those who believed in me, that I will do my utmost!"

Arthur caught a moment of his exhilarated face as he bowed to his people once more, and he and the rest of the Primary Suit waved goodnight to the subjects that Kiku had been waiting for so long to formally serve.

"May the Fates serve you, my queen," the crowd behind the balcony said fervently as Kiku came inside first, and Arthur went on his knee to honour him, the rest of the room following suit.

* * *

"If you do not mind me staying until ten," Kiku smiled sheepishly, "Dinner was exhausting. Apparently, I mean something more to the courtiers simply because I am now queen. I am desperate to be in the company of someone who I know will always have my back."

"That won't change," Arthur smiled, and let his mouth linger on the rim of his teacup. "You have to write to me when I'm going home tomorrow."

"Time feels so brief when I am in your company again." Kiku admitted. "It feels like only yesterday you arrived, you carry yourself well in court. You even managed to tide them over tonight!"

"Well, it was mostly King Ludwig's efforts!" Arthur protested. "With such a way with words, it is nothing but his and Ace Lovino's accomplishments that might have started discussions that might be held later at a Meeting."

"The summer solstice is a ways away, Art," Kiku said, his expression thoughtful. "But it was a thought of _yours_. Without it, my coronation might not have taken place at all."

"If you put it that way, then…" Arthur said.

"I am sorry that we have to keep you in the dark," his best friend replied, taking Arthur's free hand between his own. "But there are some things that Ludwig and Lovino have both agreed on – both _agreeing_ to each other, mind you – that there are some things you cannot take home. I promise you that it is nothing bad though. Hearts and Spades have always had a strong bond."

"If I'm lucky to be queen of Spades one day," Arthur hesitantly began, to which Kiku stifled a laugh, "I guess that bond will be rather strong."

" _When,_ Arthur, _when_ ," Kiku chided. "Please do not tell me that you are taught another language in Spades? I do not believe it gives you an advantage with Prince Alfred."

Arthur laughed with him at the mere idea that the Chosen learned another language to just impress Alfred, but there was a knock on the door just as he formulated a reply in his mind.

"No, _Queen_ Kiku, I'll get that," Arthur hastily amended, getting up from his seat and opening the door to a very flustered servant holding one very blue item, and one very red bouquet.

"Oh! Sir Arthur," they exclaimed, their face flushed. "I was hoping that you were in your room tonight. This – this is for you…"

"For me?" Arthur blurted, surprised as Kiku got up, curious to see what the whole commotion was about. "Um, where's it from…?"

"The kingdom of Spades, sir," the servant replied. "It came while we were having dinner, and I thought it the best to wait…"

 _Alfred_ , Arthur's heart ached as his arms took the bouquet and the parcel and the servant left with a quick bow. _It surely must be you…right?_

He didn't even want to know how disappointed he'd look if it wasn't from him…

The flowers were a bouquet of bright red carnations. Inside, there was a note tucked into the blue wrapping.

 _I hope you're having a good time over there, princess. If ya know what these mean, you'll know whatever I wanted to say when I wrote this._

 _Alfred_

"Arthur, they mean 'my heart aches for you'." Kiku said, with a little smirk on his face.

"I…oh," Arthur whispered to himself, and in that moment his fingers closed on the card and his nose caught the sweet scent of the carnations, he let himself surrender to the infatuation that was love. "They're – they're breathtaking."

They were just normal carnations, but Kiku could clearly see how his best friend had lit up in anticipation when the messenger had said it was from Spades, and Arthur's expression softening immediately when he figured out whom it was from. It was not the sort of gift it was for him, rather _who_ was the sender.

 _Ah, how romantic indeed_ , Kiku thought to himself as Arthur admired the flowers. _When Heracles and I were still courting in our first few years, he would always climb up the tree nearest to our shared apartment and give me little things – once even sneaking a cat into our room…_

"There are more," Kiku said hurriedly, noticing that Arthur's gaze was still fixed on the printed card. "There was a box…"

"More?!" Arthur exclaimed, his cheeks growing incredibly hot, but he had already tucked the carnations into one arm and was crossing the room again.

"You have only been gone a week, and you get two presents? My, my," Kiku teased, leaning on Arthur's shoulder to get a peek. "Now I _am_ intrigued. Perhaps a wedding ring?"

"I thought it was custom to be given it in person," Arthur commented, knocking his chin against Kiku's coronation ring. "But I have no idea…"

Nestled in the box that was blue as robin eggs, was a stunning pocket watch that could only have been handmade. With what seemed to be tiny, hand painted blue roses skirting alongside a rim, two spades on the tip of the hands, it ticked in the awed silence of the room. Roman numerals, one to twelve, formed the centrepiece of the treasure, and a little golden chain fastened to the watch with a pearl finished it all off.

It was unlike _anything_ Arthur had ever seen before – for the second time that night, he was lost for words.

He slipped the chain around his neck, and for a heartbeat could feel Alfred's warm, calloused fingers stroking his skin before he placed it on, one hand cupping the watch in astonishment.

"By the Fates…" Kiku murmured, spellbound as well as he leaned down to look at it more closely. "It is most beautiful, Art. If he went to such lengths for you…"

"I can't believe it," Arthur said, half sobbing, half laughing. "What an idiot…I'll give him a right talking to tomorrow."

"I hope that it comes with something good straight after," Kiku said, knowing all too well his friend's hot and cold personality. "Ah wait, there's but another note…"

Arthur read it, his skin flushed and his breathing shallow.

 _Counting down the hours until I can see you again._

 _On the tiny lil' chance you're doing the same, I hope this is gonna work!_

 _How's Hearts? I hope it's a tad warmer since our cold's been shifted here this year. It's not always this cold, and…I hope you'll stay to see it for yourself._

 _Be safe, my princess._

 _I miss you bunches,_

 _Alfred_

"You idiot," Arthur breathed, pressing his lips to the corner of the note. "Idiot, idiot, idiot…stop making me miss you so much."

Kiku's expression softened, and he said a quiet 'good evening, Arthur', leaving Arthur to his own undeniable bliss and to see his own beloved.

"Good evening, Kiku," Arthur replied, hugging his friend before holding his presents close to his chest. In a fit of fancy, he went to his balcony and leaned outside, peering at the night sky – filled with stars that he knew Alfred loved.

"Goodnight, Alfred," Arthur said tenderly, wishing that _somehow_ , Alfred could hear him. "I-I love you."

* * *

 _Miles away, where hearts are joined_

"Goodnight, Arthur," Alfred called out, underneath a sky of his imaginary green stars. "I miss you – and I love you, too."

* * *

"Alfred, stop shouting lines from _Romeo and Juliet_ when it's two in the morning," Matthew grumped, dragging his lovesick brother's collar by the hand. "Arthur's going to be home tomorrow. If you have eye bags, that's going to be…weird for all of us."

"Come on, Matt, this guy was right," Alfred moaned, "Parting is such bittersweet sorrow…"

"You don't know the half of it," Matthew groaned, thinking about Gilbert for a moment before continue to yank his brother. "Now, _sleep_. Or you're going to do all my work while you stay up…"

" _ADIEU!_ " Alfred shouted before nudging the door closed with his boot.

"Alfred, I swear…"

* * *

lovesick arthur and lovesick alfred are so different in their own endearing way. they're both dorks, honestly

 _also - quick note with what happened with ludwig + lovino, it's strictly classified information so arthur isn't technically allowed to know yet as he is not a royal, but that might change...;D but kiku does know what happened. i'll be sure to elaborate it on the next chapter, it just got relatively long and i didn't want to disturb the snippet._

* * *

replies

 _pastaaddict_ \- ohh yes, it did. i put a little morsel here that kind of implies it, i hope it was enough!

 _CFAA_ \- haha definitely! my fingers seem to be typing faster now we're near the end.

russia _says hello -_ aww that means a lot to me! this fic's been carrying on for years on end so i can't believe it's still ongoing sometimes lmao. and be careful what you wish for, i say as i rub my hands together evilly

 _amberwolf_ \- i really appreciate it too! well in plot terms, i would say in the new few chapters. this fic's almost complete!

hearthorse - i'm super proud of you buddy ;D

* * *

 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	84. Homecoming

oops well this is late

also. we have 40k reads now what in god's name? thank you all oh my lordy

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively. disclaimer for disgusting fluff and 5,794 words**

* * *

"It's been a rather quiet week down here in Spades," Jack Yao said, holding his microphone carefully at a comfortable distance, turning to face the audience in the basement, filming the Broadcast. "I would like to thank the citizens of Spades, as well as those who have joined us here in our studios tonight as it is still extremely cold, due to the winter having blown down here from Clubs."

"Today, we'll have our usual Deciding coverage, as well as updates on the rebel movement, finishing off with a section of events that will be happening in the palace during this month of January. Firstly, we'll have our very own crown prince Alfred start things off my briefing us on what's been going around since our latest progress report!" he continued, stepping behind the stage and patting Alfred on the shoulder as he made his way to the front of the stage to cheers.

The stage had been shifted a little ever since he had made the official announcement to end the Deciding process, and it had been spruced up with deep blue curtains lined with golden tassels, with more plush armchairs dotted around the set than the usual fare – of course, in case of a last minute announcement.

However, Alfred chose to stand up as he always did, exposing himself in front of the crowd but still retaining that mask of perfection when attending to official duties.

"Good evening, all citizens of Spades," Alfred said, managing to keep his voice from wobbling as he could tell that there was more than just the people of Spades tuning in – he knew Ludwig and Feliciano were well versed in the process, Queen Lili always had an interest in these sorts of proceedings as it was not commonplace to have the Deciding in Diamonds due to their more traditionalist approach of taking marriage. And the citizens as well…

"I'm sure most of you remember my announcement about the completion of the Deciding a while ago," he began, to small claps after his awkward pause. "Well, I want to assure you that this won't change, and it'll end within this month. However, as many of you know, Sir Arthur is currently in the residence of Hearts, because he was invited to attend his friend Queen Kiku's coronation this week. I'd like everyone to be in the palace when I make the announcement to be fair."

"There are some good news – Sir Arthur is arriving home tonight, and I will be ready to make the official announcement around two days from today," Alfred continued, clutching his microphone in a tight gesture that he tried his best to cover up. "I'm really sorry for the wait. But I hope that I can live up to everyone's expectations."

Clapping and cheers followed him as he returned to his seat, and he let out a puff of air that he realized he hadn't been holding as Matthew tilted his head a touch to acknowledge him as he stood up, taking Alfred's place in his segment.

"If it weren't for your nerves this afternoon, I wouldn't have suspected any more," Yao said, giving his hand a squeeze. "You did well up there, Alfred."

"T…thanks, Yao," Alfred said, allowing the smallest of smiles to creep onto his face, hoping that the cameras wouldn't pick up on it just yet as Matthew gave his speech with fluidity. "I kinda needed that tonight. With so many people watching, I…"

"That's not going to stop any time soon just because your Deciding is ending," Yao said flatly. "As royals, we are constantly in the spotlight. As you and your princess become king and queen within the next six months, that public pressure is only going to increase. This is where you have to be strong, Alfred, not just for yourself but for our queen, as they will be under severe scrutiny when the time comes."

"Uh, I'll do my all for them," Alfred said, giving a clumsy thumbs up. "Thanks a lot, Yao. How d'you know so much about this?"

 _The King of Clubs, who you so despise_ , Yao thought internally, but simply shook his head in cheerfulness. It was a chapter of his life that he was forbidden to reflect on any longer, not with both his boys needing him so much. The possibility that there could be an affair between the unwedded Prince of Clubs and the newly elected Jack of Spades, simply because of a dance that they had shared.

The lengths they had to go to deny what was true…

"…Yao?" Alfred's voice cut into his thoughts.

"Oh? I apologise, Alfred, er…it is just an art of observing the other royals and past events." Yao said, nodding once as if to reassure himself and Alfred at the same time. "I imagine you can ask for advice from the King of Hearts, you two being so close."

"Yeah…" Alfred said, turning back to watch his brother on the stage, "I hope so."

* * *

"No, Matthias, I'm not letting you go out like that, man," Alfred said, folding his arms. "It's fuckin' freezing out there."

"Hey, royal, I thought swearing wasn't cool," Matthias said, pulling awkwardly at his thick jacket. "You letting me go home an' all for a bit is more than enough. I really thought I was gonna have to explain to Lukas how I couldn't make it home this season, with all the rebels n' all…"

"Not when I'm with you," Alfred insisted. "You better go tell Lukas in person that you're home for the holidays. Berwald's going home as well, because he hasn't seen his husband and son for a while. Since I'm gonna to end the Deciding soon, we've got plenty of people."

"But in a carriage, Al?" Matthias protested, pointing indignantly to a dark blue carriage waiting outside the palace gates. "Ber hasn't gotten sleep for the last three days, but I'm fit as a fiddle!"

"You won't be, _pal_ , if you're walking home in this weather," Alfred said firmly, patting his friend on his back with an almighty _thump_ as they always used to do to each other. "It's three o'clock, Fates knows it's gonna be horrible two hours later. Lukas is probably gonna yell at me, prince be damned!"

"…" Matthias chewed on his lip, and Alfred knew instantly that he had hit a soft spot. Ever since he met his fiancé, Matthias couldn't resist anything to do with him – he even admitted to Alfred that if he had met Lukas earlier, he wouldn't have signed up for the post of palace guard to ease his worries.

"For Lukas' sake," Alfred said, leaning back on his heels in self-satisfaction.

Matthias looked like he was going to burst out of frustration, but simply scrunched his nose after a moment, squeezing his coat tighter around himself as he stared at his boots.

"…Fine, man, you always get me there!" Matthias grumbled, but was full of nothing but grins as he gave Alfred a hug and another powerful pat on the back that made Alfred wince a little but thanks to the several layers he was wearing, the impact did not mar his scars too badly. "Oh, uh – sorry, did I hit too hard?"

"Nah – I'm not getting soft, Kohler," Alfred grinned, pushing it away. "Come on, you gotta go. Lukas can't yell at nothing. And remember the presents, for Fates' sake – you left them behind last year on purpose, man. Not cool."

"We all have a choice in this world, buddy," Matthias said, and picked up the presents, feeling a little self conscious. "And Lukas does a good job yelling at the patrons of his bar throughout the New Year. See ya, man. I'll bring something back for you."

"Don't sweat it, Matthias," Alfred called after him, waving goodbye. "Pass on that message for me, yeah?"

"It means the world, Alfred!" came the _loud_ reply. "Happy New Year, and take a damned break for once!"

* * *

The steps to the Blue Fjord were obscured by snow as Matthias Kohler and Berwald Oxenstierna's matching pairs of snow boots, as well as a pair of paws, crunched up the walkway towards the pub, where the night was already calming down from business.

A pub that enjoyed relatively good patrons and a better-than-average service, the Blue Fjord had been running in the Bondevik households for generations, and Lukas Bondevik was only the latest one to inherit the place.

"No, sir, you can't chat me up like that," Lukas said evenly as he poured another drink of bourbon. "That's twenty five gold. And no, sir, I'm not looking for a night out. I'm engaged."

"Say, Mr Bartender," his patron said, slapping down the dollar bill and change, rifling in his bag drowsily that made Lukas' hand start towards underneath his serving counter for the knife he used to chop up fruits and other condiments. "Uh, have you gotten on in the betting yet?"

"Betting?" Lukas said, raising an eyebrow in curiosity, his fingers retracting from his weapon. "What for, sir?"

"Aw, you've gotta have read the news," he said, speech slurring a little. "There ya go – you got a pen or something…"

"I'm not interested in pilfering my little earnings into the…Deciding odds," Lukas said, reading it out. "Apologies, sir. You might be better off asking around the table near the window. They've been prattling on about it ever since happy hour ended and everyone's dispersed. Now can you please leave the counter since you've got your drink?"

"All right, blondie, all right," he mumbled, slipping himself off the bar chairs. "But you're just missin' out…"

"Just keep it down!" Lukas called after him, taking the money and stuffing it down his apron before getting a towel and wiping down a beer glass.

It was just past eight after happy hour had ended at seven and most of the Blue Fjord's customers had cleared off for the day, probably to do some last night shopping or odd job before they returned home, and the most of the chatter around Lukas' bar had died down to a quieter service that ended at two in the morning for January.

A sound presented itself behind the counter, and Lukas let out a small sigh, turning on his heel to face the intruder.

"Tino, I _told_ you to go home at six," Lukas sighed, opening the door to reveal his friend, a cheerful man wearing a too-long blue jacket and a slightly chubby face accentuated with a white hat, carrying two trays underneath his arm. "Doesn't Arvis need taking care of? Hana as well…and so soon after his birth, I-"

"Oh? No, no, I told him before he came home earlier today that I'd be working here tonight," Tino said cheerfully. "Arvis is starting to be weaned and starting to eat solid foods, so I know he'll be fine. And you know that Berwald's as good with the two of them as well as I am."

"…wait, he's home?" Lukas said, perplexed. "I thought…I thought they weren't allowed to come home for the New Years. You know, with the fiasco with the rebels and the Deciding…"

He would never admit it, but he felt a twinge of longing for Matthias, Lukas thought as he grasped his towel in his hand.

Knowing the fool, he'd insist not coming home to protect Alfred. It was comforting that he and the crown prince were so friendly, but that friendship could only go so far in his safety. And he was so committed to his duty as a guard as well…

"Hi, honey!" A familiar, coarse voice made both men whip around in shock to see Matthias Kohler standing in the doorway, with Berwald, Arvis and Hana in tow, with a huge smile that seemed like it would break his face if it was any larger. "I'm home!"

Lukas gaped, the hand clutching the towel releasing it, letting it fall onto the floor as Tino pulled him out of the bar area. Tino bent down, pulling up his and Berwald's son in his arms and hugging his husband, while Lukas just stood there where Tino had left him in stark shock.

"I must be drunk out of my mind," Lukas murmured to himself, watching Matthias brush snow out of his hair and taking three large steps to his side, pulling the bar owner into his arms, all the while laughing as loudly as he always did.

"Ber, I thought I told you to stay home?" Tino scolded him, although halfheartedly. "This is no weather for a dog and a young child…"

"Kept him warm th' whole way, 'nd Hana as well," Berwald said, but he looked cheerful. "Kohler was coming home t'night, 'nd I thought it fitting…"

"…did something happen?" Matthias asked, softening his knees to see Lukas' expression. "Lukas…I know this sounds stupid of me, but I wasn't going to leave – until Alfred mentioned that you were gonna be lonely, and I thought…I was so _selfish_ , putting off seeing you for my duty…"

"…" Lukas didn't say anything – he _couldn't_. Here was this idiot he had for a lover, so committed to his duty that he wouldn't return home for a lonely Christmas spent over at Tino's and wondering desperately what had happened to Emil. And his friend – the literal crown prince! - had mentioned Lukas himself as a reason Matthias should have come home, and he had gone straight away. How…what…

"You…you're a fool," Lukas choked out, touching those gloves that scarcely felt like his own, inhaled the smell of Matthias in the mornings, his beaming expression that never died down… "T-Took you long enough."

" _Aww_ , Lukas!" Matthias cooed, clasping him tight and burying his nose in his hair. "Al said if I didn't come home, you'd have no one to shout at! I can't let you go with that in the New Years, right, honey?"

"Don't call me that," Lukas huffed, but felt a rosy emotion bloom in his chest as he raised his finger so that their matching rings _clinked_. "If you _ever_ pull this again, I'm going to the palace to yell at you. The Blue Fjord can wait."

The two reunited couples stayed together for a grand total of two minutes before a patron, sniffling a little, asked Lukas and Tino to 'please get me another whisky, I can't take this…', which meant Lukas had to reluctantly untangle himself from Matthias – not like he enjoyed it or any rubbish like that…

* * *

"Oh, I thought you both looked familiar," the man with the betting papers from earlier commented, speaking to Matthias and Berwald sitting on the table opposite. "Must be those boots."

"Yeah, uh, they're still palace fare," Matthias said cheerfully, taking a sip of his pint.

"The palace?!" the man exclaimed, leaning forward. "Hey, boys…you know much about the Deciding?"

"He does m're than me," Berwald nodded towards Matthias. "V'ry close with the prince."

"…uh, say that again, sir?" the man replied, looking a little intimidated. "It's just, the accent…"

"S'rry," Berwald amended, looking a little embarrassed. "Kohler here is v'ry close with the prince. Friends."

"By Duchess, that's perfect!" he said, digging in his bag for the same clipboard. "So, uh, me and a bunch of pals were doing some betting on the winner of the Deciding, seeing as His Highness was talking about it on the Broadcast last night. We've got a handful of odds from lotsa people…"

Lukas kept his watchful eye on Matthias – even though his fiancé had a pretty high alcohol tolerance, he'd surely be either interested in it or offended that it involved betting on his friend's life. Tino was half counting out the profits from the night with Arvis playing with Hana on the comfiest chair that Lukas would occasionally call bed.

"…three's not really a crowd for these things, right?" Matthias said slowly, staring at the paper, pausing at three names on the paper – _Arthur Kirkland, Alfonso H. Carriedo, Emma Peeters._ "Are you sure it's a good idea?"

 _Well, he's still sober to know not to start a fight_ , Lukas thought to himself as he shelved away the last of the pints. _With Berwald around, he should be fine…_

"Hey, it's just that this kind of stuff doesn't happen all the time. My daughter and I thought it was kind of a fun venture. My girl, she's mad about the Deciding, you see," he said, smiling crookedly. "And you know, as her old man, many folks say I'm too soft. She told me that she knew who the prince was going to pick, and I went with it."

"Aww," Matthias grinned, and Lukas could see him visibly relax as he wiped the little beer moustache on his face. "Hm. Who's she rooting for?"

"The blond kid, uh, Sir Arthur," the man said. "She gets all melty whenever the prince talks about him. Asks me if I'll let her have her own Sir Arthur one day. Good for her, the odds are looking relatively skewed in his favour at sixty percent, from all the people I've been round asking."

"Kids, huh?" Matthias said. "I mean, there's a lot of stuff that definitely says that. He's never sounded uncomfortable when he talks about him."

"Er, we were just thinking, with the announcement yesterday, the prince namedropped Arthur being at Hearts…" the man said, twisting his pen between his fingers. "And waiting for his homecoming because he wanted to pick him. It's all up in the air, but I think it's likely, because a candidate leaving for a little while is a bit odd."

"Al – uh, Prince Alfred wouldn't have let him come back if he didn't want him back for a reason," Matthias said. "I won't ask him stuff about it since it's his own life, but I think you have a point, man."

"S…sir," the man said, turning to Berwald with a slightly apprehensive expression. "Er…er, what do you think?"

"…G'd," Berwald said, nodding once. "Sounds reasonable."

* * *

While the three of them discussed the happenings around the palace for the remainder of the evening, Lukas finished cleaning up the workplace and spent some time with Arvis and Hana.

"His hair's a lot more auburn than either of yours or Berwald's, Tino," Lukas remarked as Arvis grabbed onto his thumb and twisted. "Was it from yours or his?"

"Arvis looks like his grandfather on Ber's side, definitely," Tino said, his expression gentle as he pried his child's tiny hands from Lukas' thumb. "The eyes are Ber's, but at least he looks like he's gotten my face structure, or I'd be a touch disappointed."

"The nose, as well," Lukas said, his tone softened. "You must adore him, though."

"Oh, definitely," Tino said, rocking his child in his arms as Hana burrowed underneath Lukas' apron. "But…Lukas, I meant to ask, but weren't you interested in a biological child of your own recently?"

"…not any more, I'm afraid," Lukas said, doing his best to keep his tone even. "After what happened with Emil, I…I suppose Matthias and I aren't comfortable with introducing another member into our family without his safety."

"Right, no, that's reasonable," Tino said, his voice deflating almost instantly. "Was there any note from him?"

"I doubt he's allowed to send messages as he's in hiding," Lukas said flatly, pulling the wriggling Hana onto his lap and smoothing out his apron. "I did give him the family trinket from that one visit during autumn, but other than that…"

"I'm really sorry, Lu," Tino said quietly, shifting Arvis' weight onto his right arm and patting Lukas' hand with his other. "I shouldn't have brought it up, I…"

"…honey?" Matthias' concerned voice made Lukas lift his head. "I'm sorry, when I was going off on a tangent with the guy, I forgot to give it to you. It's from Emil."

"You never cease to surprise me," Lukas breathed, clutching the blank envelope as if it were his lifeline. "You must..."

"I'm sorry, Tino, but I gotta read this bit real quick," Matthias said, edging between the two men. "If you'd want to, you can go sit with Oxenstierna…I think he's kind of creeping the guy out right now.

"No, um, that's fine," Tino smiled, shifting Arvis back into a comfortable hold and making his way to where Berwald and the man were sitting, having a very mute conversation.

 _Dear Mama and Papa,_

"Why does he still call me that?" Lukas complained, but it was without substance as Matthias rested his head on Lukas' knee, mimicking Hana. "And I thought I taught him better…"

"You're getting all teary though," Matthias remarked, sticking out his tongue as Lukas ran his hand through his wild hair in response.

 _How is it, over in the Blue Fjord? Mama,_ \- "Emil…" – _I'm not sure if Papa can make his way back home for Christmas, but I'm sure that he'll make it back for New Years, with the Oxenstierna's baby and all._

 _Winter here in our little room Leon and I call home for now is coping well for the season…_

* * *

Alfred unpinned his list of things to do from his corkboard, putting the plastic tack into Matthew's box before getting a pencil and scratching out ' _give emil's msg to matthias + lukas'_.

"…" he paused, going down his list to the last item that still stood unfinished at ten in the evening.

Dinner had just concluded after a relatively hectic day – after the Broadcast, Alfred had taken out Emma and Alfonso on a group date out to the archery range, and they had spent an afternoon together (failing) with the targets until their fingers were numb and their cheeks were rosy red with the cold.

Matthew had gone to sleep fifteen minutes earlier, but Alfred felt like a child that had gone to an ice cream parlour for the first time – he couldn't go to sleep without knowing Arthur was safe, without holding Arthur again after so long…

"...come home, princess," Alfred murmured, rummaging into his bottom drawer for the unopened ring box, turning it over with his hands. "I need to know you're safe."

Pausing for another moment, he lit the first candle. He had somewhere to go to…

* * *

"Thank you very much," Arthur said, the attendant extending their hand so they could help Arthur back onto the floor. "No, no, I'll be getting that up to my room myself…"

"Please, Sir Arthur, that's our job." the butler said, smiling. "May you remind us who your maid is?"

"She's Miss Anna," Arthur said, but he already realized that his thoughts were somewhere else on the first floor of the palace. For a selfish heartbeat, he hoped that Alfred was not asleep as he felt that he couldn't wait another eight hours just to see him… "If you could let her know, that would be plenty."

"Yes, Sir Arthur," the butler said, and took his two suitcases into the palace where Arthur followed suit, pulling his cloak tighter around himself and rearranging his scarf. Spades was a lot colder than Hearts, definitely…

Arthur took the steps up to Alfred's room nervously, hearing the chatter boiling around the palace already.

"Sir Arthur's back!" one of the maids whispered to another, their eyes bright. "Oh, do go tell Jordan-"

By the time he had made it up to the first floor and the surprised guard had let him through to the royals' rooms, Arthur was certain half of the palace knew he was back. He knew he should go to Emma and Alfonso's, but…

The door to Alfred's bedroom was wide open, and Arthur gingerly leaned in, eyes desperately searching for a trace of the boy he loved, but…

…there was nothing. Two candles dimly lighted the room, and Arthur could see that his bed was empty, the fireplace unlit and the heater switched off. His dog, Hero, snuffling to himself in a corner, although someone had

"What if he's with Matthew?" Arthur wondered quietly to himself, and took the candle resting on the desk, careful to pull away his scarf before he did so. He went to the partition separating the two brothers' rooms, but could only see the outline of Matthew fast asleep, no on else.

"…" Arthur sighed, his mood deflating in an instant. Where was he? At this time of night, somewhere warm perhaps? But then the romantic idiot would find somewhere else to-

"Bless the Fates," Arthur said, resting his face in his hands as the prince's location came instantly to him. Somewhere freezing for this time of night…

Taking the candle holder with him, he wrapped his cloak behind himself and quickly descended down the stairs, hoping that Alfred wasn't freezing to death outside in the gardens.

* * *

"Alfred?" Arthur whispered, pushing back a messy clump of his hair as he pushed in deeper into the gardens.

 _No reply,_ he thought despairingly as he weaved his way through some cleanly cut hedges. _He must be in the outhouse…_

Making a path across a hedgerow dotted with tiny blooms of flowers, Arthur's figure was dwarfed by a section of trees as he made his way through the gardens in search of the one he loves.

As soon as he approached the fountains though, snow had started falling from the sky, and Arthur was forced to slow down a little to keep the tiny flame burning so that he could see where he was going.

"You idiot," Arthur mumbled fiercely to himself, advancing on the outhouse, but as soon as he got there it was empty.

The swing moved forlornly by itself, spurred only by the wind, and Arthur had to place the candle on the floor wearily, taking a little breather on the seat.

The memories that flooded back the moment he had stepped back into this little room – when he and Alfred had became friends, had an argument, another reunion…

 _There were a thousand times where I fell in love again,_ Arthur thought, tucking his heels and rocking on the swing. _This shed was homage to so many of them._

Another place where he fell in love with Alfred, time after time. The whole gardens had been bursting with emotion from the first time they had stepped into it together, but did something in particular mean a little more to Alfred, more so that he would choose it as a waiting spot…

 _Wait, the bench,_ Arthur thought immediately to himself, picking his candle holder and pushing the door open. _Where we had our first kiss._

 _Fates, don't make me regret this later, Alfred…_

* * *

"Aww man, this is kinda uncool," Alfred grumbled to himself, stuffing his hands inside his pockets.

He thought it was gonna be totally romantic if Arthur found him on the bench, but that was when it was past _ten_ and now it was ten thirty…half an hour of freezing his butt off wasn't fun at all…

And it was pitch black out here! He had tucked little Hero into his bed where it was nice and snug, and here he was sitting down – and seriously, it was snowing again?!

"OK, I can't wait any more," he decided, wrapping his fur coat around himself and getting up from the bench, trying to see if Arthur was anywhere near the vicinity, but…

There was a small light, at least – meaning someone was looking for him? It must be a guard, sent out by Yao if he wasn't fast asleep like Matt…

"Hey, uh," Alfred began, squinting his eyes against the snow. "The light-"

He could see green eyes in the darkness, briefly illuminated, and Alfred's heart soared. Could it-

"Alfred," Arthur's voice, soft and breathless, came to him, and Alfred's face fell into his dopey smile. "Alfred!"

"Arthur," he whispered, his feet taking him where he had always wanted to be, and Arthur placing down his light and running to him, his scarf billowing out behind him as they met halfway, with a sort of ardent desperation as Arthur clung onto his jacket, crying his name into his shoulder and Alfred burying his lips in Arthur's hair – _roses…_

"You idiot, what were you thinking?" Arthur laughed, taking in Alfred's slightly mussed appearance. "It's freezing out here…your hands are cold, you must take my scarf, I…"

"Hey, Arthur, I-" Alfred said, shaking his head, but Arthur had already wrapped it around his neck with a smile. "T-Thanks."

"How…have you been, darling?" Arthur asked, resting his arms on Alfred's, not daring to let go. "It's felt like so long."

"I dunno, it felt too long to me," Alfred grinned, tilting his head. "But I really missed you, sugar. I thought about you for a lot while you were gone. Did you get your present?"

"I did," Arthur smiled, "I…I love it. I wouldn't think you'd be wanting to do such a gesture so late into the process…"

"Forget about the process for a moment and think about us, and only us," Alfred said, running a thumb over Arthur's cheek. "I gave it to you not because I wanted to flatter ya, but because I wanted 'cha to have it. As I said, I just couldn't get you out of my head."

"…I have to admit, I wouldn't allow myself to think about you for the duration of the week," Arthur said, biting his lip. "With my friend – um, Queen Kiku's coronation, I thought it best to clear my head…"

"Why though?" Alfred asked, now curious.

"You're too distracting for your own good," Arthur admitted, looking away with a touch of embarrassment on his features. "I…if I allowed myself to think about you, I feel that I wouldn't have devoted myself to the rare opportunity of seeing him."

"Is that a good thing?" Alfred breathed, brushing his nose against Arthur's face, bringing him back to face him.

"Well, I, um…" Arthur fumbled, chewing on his lip again before answering: "Yes, I suppose."

"I, uh, wrote to your family again," Alfred said, flushing a little out of self consciousness. "For asking permission to marry you. The last time I asked was months ago, and I guess it didn't feel right."

"I can't believe you," Arthur whispered, his fingers trembling as they wrapped themselves on Alfred's face, "I thought you were going to change your mind once I left."

The night of the proposal rushed into Arthur's mind full force, and with Alfred's blue eyes staring directly as him, Arthur could melt.

"How could I?" Alfred said, his voice tender as he tightened his grip against Arthur's waist, relishing in the softness of his hands against his face. "I couldn't, at least not to the person I love."

"I missed you," Arthur gasped, rising a little on his tiptoes and parting his mouth, feeling Alfred's presence wreathe around him as he grasped at his jacket – the desperate need to be close burning in his soul. "More than you'll ever know…"

The kiss was numbing after having gone without each other's contact for such a long while at such a crucial time for the both of them, and there was a hunger, a _desire_ that had not been there before as Alfred held him close.

"I'm…I don't want you to go, ever," Alfred said fervently between kisses, already losing himself to the taste of Arthur. "Don't leave me, please…"

 _I know this is real, from the bottom of my heart,_ Arthur thought as Alfred embraced him in that snowy night, oblivious to anything and everything around them. _I love you, more than words can convey…_

Alfred's kisses were so sweet that they made Arthur's mouth sour, desperately wanting and _needing_ more as the two lovers reluctantly parted, Alfred resting his head against the crook of Arthur's neck.

"You're cold," Alfred panted, feeling a certain lightheadness that only came after touching the one he adored after a period of pining. "I have to get you to your room. We'll do the whole 'ending the process thing' tomorrow. But I…I need you."

Arthur's eyes softened – he remembered all too well that Alfred had his own insecurities. "Alfred. I'll come over and see you first thing morning, and we'll sort everything out…together."

"T-That means a lot, princess," Alfred said, his expression fond as he ran his fingers through Arthur's hair. "I missed you somethin' crazy."

"I can see you missed your language skills as well," Arthur teased, but let himself fall into the arms of the boy he loved.

* * *

"Don't tell anyone about our plans for tomorrow, okay?" Alfred said at the entrance to Arthur's bedroom, where his two suitcases were stacked neatly on top of each other. "I don't want to upset Emma and Alfonso. You can talk to them in your own time, if you'd want to…"

"I'll talk to them tomorrow since I don't want to rouse them from their rest," Arthur said, hoping that his eyes could not express his desperation to be with Alfred for another moment. "But for now, we must retire for the evening. Good…goodnight, Alfred. I'll think of you in my sleep."

"…if I could stay with you, I would, but I don't want people keeping the heat on you," Alfred admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. He bent down, lifting Arthur's hand to his lips, and kissed it, his hand trembling as their fingertips touched once more. "Your hands…your hands are warm."

"Only because you made me come in sooner," Arthur said tenderly, kissing his cheek and lingering for a few moments, his lips brushing against the tan surface of Alfred's skin. "I…I suppose that one _could_ say that you were my hero."

"Hell yeah," Alfred grinned, but paused. "Arthur, from tomorrow…we can be as happy together as we want to. That means – I won't be holding back any more."

"Don't be," Arthur said, but he still blushed at the suggestiveness of his words. "I won't…either."

"Goodnight, my Arthur," Alfred said, watching Arthur go into his room with a handsome smile on his face. "I'm already waiting for the moment we can finally be together."

"Goodnight, my Alfred," Arthur responded in tow, holding onto his fingers until the last second. "I…I already want to see you again."

Their fingertips disconnected as Alfred tore himself from the door, his cheeks burning and his nose buried in Arthur's scarf, while Arthur turned blissful circles around his room, picking out Alfred's bomber jacket and burying his nose in the collar, taking in Alfred's scent.

"I love you," he murmured into the fabric, hoping that Alfred could somehow hear him. "Every single part of me wants to be with you, however differently I make it out…"

* * *

 _Arvis - Ladonia_

* * *

feels like forever since we had a new aph character introduced...funnily enough sufin's child isn't peter for...reasons ;D

* * *

replies

 _CFAA_ \- aren't they super endearing aaaa

 _hearthorse11_ \- aw man, i hope you're doing OK - and thanks!

 _pastaaddict_ \- watch him become less and less smooth as the years go on lmao

 _russia says hello_ \- yeah! he's such a dweeb i think he'd do that

 _vivadragnire_ \- there's a very nice orthodontist i know his name is aph romania

* * *

 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	85. Let Me Be Your Someone

things i'm not going to talk about: the time here

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

 _In a place where things are not quite real, but not quite illusionary at the same time…_

 _A dream, of some sorts._

Your heartbeat is still for a moment, Matthew.

Your violet eyes snap open, your chest heaving as you heave off your bed and get to your feet, not even getting changed as you pass through your door out, past Al's, down past the kitchens until you're in the foyer, your glasses askew on your face.

I run in the snow, my heart hammering as my boots crunch as I step onto it. My jacket is dark against your skin as I hold you, but your expression is terrified as you wrest your grip for me, and I let go of you. Your mouth forms the letters of my name as you shake your head, and you are close as I embrace you again, but the shadows behind you writhe.

You cry out in fear, staggering backwards with your hands outstretched, and I push you behind me in response as the shadows engulf the two of us.

"Gilbert!" you, my birdie, shout, and I turn around to face you but the darkness yanks you away, and I reach out for you desperately but I feel a claw on my back and everything is numbing pain…

* * *

Gilbert's heart was slamming inside his ribcage from the first moment he drew in a tortured breath that morning, his shirt drenched with sweat and his mind reeling.

Matthew. Something, something…he hadn't had a nightmare in a long while, but the terror that was etched onto his beloved's face was so _real_ …

"Kat," he heaved, pushing off the bed, just like how Matthew had in his convoluted nightmare. "I need to write to her-"

 _Hold up_ , his awareness accosted his train of thought as his gaze honed on the chrome yellow suitcases that were Diamonds fare. _You're stopping over Spades for the next three days. Find Matthew then, Beilschmidt._

* * *

The last day of meetings in Hearts began, and Gilbert was forced to slouch through meeting after meeting of the Hearts court berating him about his change into the Joker state.

"Why couldn't you have stayed and helped your brother as queen! Then we wouldn't have to fund the Deciding in the first place…" one of them complained, capping his pen lid. "We've gone over budget by eight percent thanks to that."

"Ask the Fates," Gilbert said tiredly, lolling his head to one side.

"You must take this seriously, Joker Gilbert," another shot back, her eyes furrowed in frustration. "A hoard of amplifiers for the damned Joker rebels – the Jack of Spades neutralized only one out of what could be hundreds! Are you _sure_ , with your nature and Joker Katya's…"

"There is nothing we have in common except our genes," Gilbert said, crossing his arms and snorting a little – being _serious_ wasn't in his trickster nature. "And those genes were bestowed upon us by the Fates – they changed our genetic makeup. Joker Katya and I are only doing our job here. We're trying to prevent war, not start it."

"…everyone," Ludwig said, his voice stony. "We are here to discuss the information that the discussion with the rebels, not the Joker, have given us. Please, if you must ask Joker Gilbert a question, you may submit one in paper to me during the break."

Gilbert and Ludwig exchanged tired glances as the members of the court sat down, muttering apologies to the king but not to _him_ , because it was obvious that even from Gilbert's not-so-long reign as queen, he had no more power here than he had as a Joker.

"I do hope though, Your Highness," one of the courtiers said, casting a sharp glance to the newly crowned Queen Kiku. "That you did not share all of our information with the Spades boy. Even if he did…suggest the idea, it would be inappropriate for someone of his stature."

"That, Mr William, would be at the discretion of the King and I," Kiku said, and Gilbert noticed his fingers closed on a sheet of paper he had been taking notes on. "I assure you that there is nothing that cannot be shared between a trusted friend and a trusted ally, which, not to mention, may be Queen of Spades in a matter of days."

 _He's even better than I was,_ Gilbert thought to himself as the newly crowned queen straightened his back and folded his lips into a thin line as the courtier clumsily tried to reiterate his point into what he thought was a more dignified sentence (it wasn't for him, personally). _Even bothered to learn the court's names. He's not one to be messed with…_

"Well, the next topic on the agenda is the issue of the Jack's official duties during his gestation," Ludwig said, glancing at the dimly lit screen of the port. "Right. Anyone have any ideas they want to offer up?"

"Let Felci have a break entirely," Gilbert groaned, pressing his eyes closed with his hand. He could _feel_ the surge of protest throughout the room before holding up his other gloved hand. "OK, OK. I think he can do some things, but nothing more than state visits and endorsements. And for the love of the Fates, keep those amplifiers from Diamonds away from him."

"…Why do you say that, Joker Gilbert?" A woman asked, raising her spectacles in a non-patronizing member. _Duchess - someone was showing a morsel of respect here._ "I understand your points about the Jack taking a rest, as he is supporting this nation's heir, but…the amplifiers?"

"Upsets the magic in our bodies," Gilbert said. "Makes it very unstable, because these could be both amplifiers or nullifiers because they haven't been fixed to one, and they could have been either before they were neutralized through weakening of their magical properties."

"Do you propose we destroy them entirely?" one asked, flicking his pen on the surface of the wrist. "Some are made out of precious metals, and it could be useful…"

"Honestly, I don't know." Gilbert said. "I guess the Primary Suit here could hold a quick Meeting with the others just to confirm. But – we still don't know what's going to happen to the magic of the kid growing inside. Could either be changed to be very weak…or very strong – and neither are good."

The members around the table conferred quickly with this morsel of new information, and the Primary Suit made a small cluster by themselves while he sat alone, tapping his foot on the floor. Even though the room filled with noise, it felt stiflingly quiet.

 _"_ _Gilbert…"_

Matthew's voice, again. What was-

"There's a spare room on the right wing we could use," someone piped up, their pen tapping on the surface of the desk. "If we could shoehorn the pile into there, and wait until things have stabilized, we could arrange for Katya and the other kings to assist breaking it down. Especially with the Jack's condition…"

Gilbert was hardly listening to their ministrations. Something wasn't right. He never dreamt about people or hallucinated, and this wasn't just born out of pining for Matthew, as he had seen him only a week earlier. Nothing sounded more ominous than that – it wasn't _normal,_ flat out, even for a Joker…

Something had to be happening in Spades.

"Joker Gilbert?" another piped up, eyes fixated onto his own. "Is there an issue? Your paper is becoming…awfully crumpled."

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing, really," he said, unclenching his fist, and keeping his head down. "You – everyone can just keep on going."

Ludwig's gaze darted to his, tinged with worry, but couldn't speak up. There was something…odd about him tonight.

 _Perhaps it's just hard for him to cope, coming home for the first time in awhile._

* * *

"Tell King Francis that we send our best!" Feliciano said cheerfully, zipping Gilbert's dark overcoat over his casual hoodie to shield him from the cold. "But are you sure about this? Too many zippers aren't always healthy…"

"I'm gonna say neither is carrying a baby," Gilbert joked, but bent down and placed his ear lightly on Feliciano's stomach, feeling his niece or nephew kicking around. "But hey, what do I know? Felci –just take care of my kid brother for me, OK?"

"Gilbert," Ludwig said, coming to stand aside his husband. "Can I have a word? Feli, please excuse me. I'll come meet you at six in the foyer, if that's all right?"

"Oh, definitely," Feliciano said, his tone understanding as he bowed, pushed his hat back up and left the scene.

"What's up, Lud?" Gilbert asked, genuinely confused. Had he stepped out of line (again)?

"It was last night's meeting with the council," Ludwig said, serious as ever. "You seemed less focused than usual."

"Gee, thanks," Gilbert joked, but paused. "Look, it was nothing, OK? I just…it feels weird, to be home in such a long time. Doesn't feel right, especially since there's been a new queen elected."

"I'm sorry about that-" Ludwig began, but Gilbert shook his head as if to say _don't worry about it_. "Um. That is to say, what do you think of the new queen?"

"Queen Kiku's helluva better than I ever was," Gilbert admitted, rocking back on his heels. "Organized, can deal with court life, and the four of you in the Suit seem close. Hearts is pretty much set, as far as I'm concerned."

"So that's not really what the problem is," Ludwig said, and Gilbert huffed, pushing his hands into the pockets of his overcoat. "Brother, I can tell when something else's bothering you. You can trust me. Is Francis all right? What about Vash and Lili?"

"No, they're all fine and dandy," Gilbert said dismissively. "It's plenty warm in Diamonds. But - OK, fine, don't laugh at me, but I had a nightmare."

"I don't _ever_ laugh," Ludwig dead panned, but pressed his lips together in a thin line. "Coming from someone of your status, that's never good. Who was it about?"

"Hey, don't put it that way! But uhh, I'm not sure exactly," Gilbert said, rubbing the small of his back – doing his best to not give away his lie. "But they looked like they were blond to me."

"That…narrows it down by forty percent of everyone royal in Cards," Ludwig sighed. "Well, that's something. What happened, exactly? In the dream."

"Saw someone," Gilbert said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "They were scared, I went out to help them, they – look, brother, it's not an omen or anything like that. It's just too _bizarre_."

"-well, if you put it that way, I shouldn't worry." Ludwig said, but his expression was still thoughtful. "It does not seem like something out of the ordinary…"

"Yeah, that's the spirit!" Gilbert grinned nervously, ruffling his brother's once-perfectly slicked back hair. "Hey, Lud. Your big brother's got it all under control, aight? You can depend on me."

"All right, all right." Ludwig said, bending down to awkwardly pat Gilbert's suitcase. "Still, you must be careful out there, brother. It's been relatively peaceful recently, but that can change in a heartbeat. Look after yourself…and whoever else you see fit."

 _D – Does he know about my relationship with Matthew?_ Gilbert thought internally, tensing a little. _Is there anything more that he knows but I don't?_

"Make sure I get a good niece or nephew, in that case," he said, continuing to smile in a cocky fashion. "Look after Felci, Lovi and the new queen, yah? Don't yell at them too much. Also, I love you, Ludi."

"Your Highness?" a butler said, bowing to the two of them and scooping up Gilbert's suitcases. "It's time to go back to the Spades kingdom, your train is awaiting you, Joker Gilbert."

"Thank you, Gilbert," Ludwig said, brushing away his cape to give his brother a hug, a bittersweet feeling resonating in his body at his brother's leaving after such a brief visit at the New Years – meant to be spent with family. "I'll see you soon, I promise."

* * *

Arthur's morning started with two large heaps of warmth on his bed as soon as he came to.

"Oh man, good morning, you!" Alfonso said, his expression energized as Arthur rubbed his eyes and surveyed the twin piles that were Emma and Alfonso. "See you finally got back from Hearts!"

"It's nice to see you again," Emma beamed. "How was it? Did you not want to leave?"

"Oh Fates, you two, I was only gone for a week," Arthur said, but he was smiling as he got up, rubbing his eyes. "Still – I did miss the two of you."

"Aww, Art," Alfonso said, ruffling his hair. "You're gonna make my manliness go away."

"Not like you _had_ any in the first place," Arthur teased back, to the laughs of the three of them.

"Okay, okay, the two of you can do your grr manly fighting later," Emma said, waving her hands lightly. "But I dunno. Alfred said that the Deciding's finishing _this_ week, so…I just want to spend time with the two of you. Seeing that we might not all be here afterwards."

"But I thought the rest of the Elite were going to be an adviser or a person in waiting?" Alfonso asked, tipping his head to one side. "At least, if I could stay here with court life I would."

"Alfred said it's ending…this week?" Arthur asked, trying his best to act perplexed.

 _I can't tell them,_ he thought to himself. _I've come to rely on their friendship for so long, sabotaging it now would be ruinous._

"Spades has already been prepping for the ending of the process ever since our last Broadcast, yep," Emma confirmed. "They've decorated the Broadcast room, started getting out decorations, all that stuff. The whole palace is on standby for the announcement."

"Hey, spending time with Alfred's been swell this week, and I'm really sorry if you want to have him along, but Emma and I were thinking about a group outing, just the three of us." Alfonso began hesitantly. "We just thought – it might be the last time in a while, like she said…we don't know who's staying and who's leaving for sure."

"No, I'd absolutely love to!" Arthur said, an enthusiastic expression on his face. "I just came back, and because what you're saying is true, we've got to spend as much time together as we can – Alfred can wait. Do you have any ideas?"

"Oh, uh…nothing grand really. Em was talking about the courtyards…" Alfonso said, exchanging a glance with her. "It snowed really hard last night, so we were thinking of going with that."

"Did you play in the snow in your holding facility, Arthur?" Emma asked, propping her elbows on his duvet and resting her head on her hands, her short, curly locks brushing her fingers. "As a kid, I played a few times but I never was allowed for too long. I was a chronic snow eater…"

"Wait, that's the reason they won't let you in?" Alfonso gasped, genuinely shocked. "Snow is…cold water but more frozen! I remember scooping handfuls into my mouth as a kid!"

"Come on, haven't you heard about yellow snow before?" Emma retorted playfully.

"What's yellow snow?" Arthur asked – a little disappointed he couldn't share in his non existent experiences (as reading books indoors and drinking first the provided, then Kiku's hot chocolate. It sounded a tad boring…)

"Snow which someone's peed on," Emma replied, to which at the same time Alfonso said: "Snow with lemon flavouring on top."

"Neither sound very appetizing," Arthur blanched. "I'm already no good in the kitchen, so I don't think you can rely on me for sweet treats…"

"Come on, Alfonso! We don't _always_ have to eat," Emma chided, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Well, come on then, lazy bones! We'll get a warm breakfast and then head out at eleven. Meet you two in the foyer?"

The two of them agreed, and Emma left the room, a spring in her step as Alfonso and Arthur watched her.

"She's holding up pretty well," Alfonso said, brushing over his newly cut hair behind his shoulder. "I'm proud of her."

"I'm honestly relieved, but – I'm thankful for you as well, Alfonso," Arthur said, letting a smile pass his mouth as he cuffed his friend's shaggy hair with his fingertips. "You've cut it."

"Yeah, well, I thought maybe the fancy ribbons and things started to outgrow me," Alfonso said, pausing before letting out a little sigh. "I don't know. I started to not…feel myself, anymore, wearing them all the time."

"I'm…I'm sorry," Arthur said, hesitantly letting his hand fall down from his hair and onto his hand. "I should have done something, Alfonso."

"Hey, don't stress over something you can't control and something that's not your fault either," Alfonso said, shaking his head sheepishly. "If anything, I'm proud of you, heh."

" _Pfft_ ," Arthur said, blinking in amusement. "What did I do now?"

"Not only," Alfonso said lightly, leaping off his bed. "Did you manage to charm the prince to absolutely adore you, but your friend's now a queen and you can handle it all. That's something formidable."

"If I were half as graceful as Queen Kiku, maybe the people would approve of me?" Arthur said, but Alfonso shook his head, a rueful expression on his face.

"Unless the scenes we watched on television was fake, I doubt it," Alfonso said, rocking on his heels. "Hey. I'm OK, but keep on being gentle to her, yeah? She's been through a lot."

"I will – and I'm sorry," Arthur said, feeling a little guilty. "I didn't want to hurt both of you like this."

"It has to happen to everyone except one, and going into this competition everyone knows that," Alfonso said, tugging on Arthur's hand to pull him up. "So. Let's make the most of what we have now."

* * *

After breakfast, they did indeed spend the afternoon enjoying the snow, Anna meticulously dressing Arthur so he felt that he was to be a snowman himself – but loosened up when he realized both of his friends were dressed similarly.

For an hour or two they built makeshift forts and had battle royales, then went two against one. Arthur needed some time to grasp the basics of hurling snowballs and making sure they did not disintegrate halfway on their journey in the sky, but he felt with Emma's determination and Alfonso's unbreakable spirit, he could do anything.

When the sun started to die down around six, and the three of them patted down their last snowmen, a servant brought out a small tray of food colourings and bowls, and Arthur and Emma got to try a snow cone for the first time. Alfonso had already doused his portion, and ended up forgoing the flavours entirely and stuffing handfuls into his mouth as he said he had done in his youth, and the three of them ended up laughing as they made their way back into the castle, all soaked.

* * *

"I'm sorry for the wait!" Alfred called as he jogged after Arthur, who had already turned around the corner right after dinner had concluded. "I thought you'd be cold after the three of you were playing in the courtyard."

"Goodness, I hope we didn't look too foolish," Arthur laughed, hugging Alfred's bomber jacket closer to his chest. "I must have made a right fool of myself."

"Huh? Hey, no, it was super sweet," Alfred said, winding his fingers in Arthur's scarf. "It made me really happy, you know. To see the three of you still be really close during the Deciding. It tears at people, and I was kinda scared of it happening. But I haven't taken you out in the snow, not really – at least, for tonight."

"Do you have something planned?" Arthur asked, letting a touch of flirtation make his way into his voice.

"I made sure the lights in the gardens are lit for tonight," Alfred murmured, reaching into his pockets for a pair of gloves. "One for you, one for me?"

Arthur's expression softened, and he slipped a blue glove onto his right hand while Alfred put his on his left hand. Arthur paused for a moment, hesitating while his fingertips skirted around Alfred's hand before he took it. Almost as if Alfred could tell what he was thinking about, he slipped their joint hands into his coat's pocket, giving Arthur's hand a little squeeze as they walked out into the gardens.

"Um, Alfred, I've been wanting to ask you this for a while, darling," Arthur began.

"Hm? Yeah, go ahead, sugar. Anything at all," Alfred replied, tilting his glasses a little higher on his nose.

"If…if they were here," Arthur said slowly. "Do you think your parents would approve of me? Our relationship?"

Alfred paused in his footsteps, stumbling around to face him, an expression of surprise on his face.

"Uh, wow…I didn't expect this, did this come from somewhere specifically?" Alfred asked.

"Nothing in particular, really," Arthur said. "It's just that you've asked my family for my hand twice, and you've met them, but in contrast I've only met Ace Matthew and Jack Yao…"

"I mean, there's not that much family left to meet, being born into a royal line," Alfred said, trying to instill humour in his suddenly deflating voice. "Matthew and I lost Mom and Dad when we were sixteen, and Matthew was forced into the Primary Suit because we only had a Jack at the time, so I can't really imagine the stuff he went through."

"Cards law says that a kingdom need at least two members of the Suit to fully function," Arthur said, thinking back to the hasty appointment of Joker Gilbert to the throne when the Hearts Jack had died.

When he was chosen by the Fates to be a Joker, he had quickly been usurped as Feliciano had become Jack after winning Ludwig's Deciding, his brother Lovino following to be appointed Ace afterwards.

"Yeah, so there was that as well. But as royals, we usually live long, so Mom and Dad's death was weird. My grandmothers, for example – the one as King died during the Deciding War when she was defending Spades, and her Queen died of sickness thirty years later, when my dad took over from her. I just don't know why they were the ones to die early," Alfred said, his voice muted.

"My parents died young as well, remember?" Arthur said, realizing he had brought up a sensitive topic that would be difficult to backtrack from. "My mother died in childbirth, giving birth to my sister Beth. She was ultimately stillborn, and the doctors said it was due to stress and malnourishment, something I still can't get out of my head."

"…" Alfred's sound of shock caught into his throat. How poor had Arthur been before he went to the holding facility and started providing for his family?

"But for my father," Arthur sighed, rubbing his forearm as he dredged up old, tattered memories that he was happy to keep tattered. "My father – the doctors said he contracted a lung infection, but in the end we couldn't get enough money for medication and to feed a family of seven with two young children. He gave up his life so we could eat that winter, so by the time the spring came along Allistor could start working straight away, along with Erin as they came of age to start in the workforce. I've never known a man as noble as him."

"Arthur, I'm…I'm really sorry," Alfred said quietly, taking a few steps forward and holding his hand again. "Your family – I trust they're better now?"

"Yes, thank the Fates," Arthur said, his shoulders relaxing for a touch. "They had a Christmas tree for the first time – and it's thanks to you."

"No, you've helped them as well," Alfred replied, kissing Arthur's nose. "You told me you went into a holding facility as soon as you could?"

"Fates knows how I got in, but that's true." Arthur confirmed, flushing a little at the contact. "Now, I'm being surrounded with good food, wonderful friends and a comfortable life to last me and my family. It's all you, Alfred. There may be things I wouldn't' change about my life for the world now."

"Your unlimited access to the gardens and strawberry tarts?" Alfred teased, but his blue eyes were tender.

"Well, I suppose," Arthur said, humouring him as he took his other hand into his own, glove against glove. "But meeting you above all else."

" _Aww_ ," Alfred grinned, flushing a little. "But it does scare me, heh – if Matt hadn't pointed you out for me at the start, we might not have ever met. And I don't wanna imagine something like that happenin' now."

"As you said, there was no way I could have imagined meeting someone I'd allow myself to care for as much as I do now for you," Arthur confided, his expression shy as the two of them made their way down near the patio. "And as I recall, I did care for my family and even saw joining a Deciding my duty, but my motivations shifted e-embarrassingly fast to staying with you."

Alfred's face fell, but only for a moment. _UH, MAYBE…maybe it's his hot and cold personality…but…_

"Was it so embarrassing to fall for me so quickly, or…?" he asked.

"Pardon? Goodness, no – oh, Alfred, I'm sorry," Arthur amended quickly. "I didn't – don't regret it, and I won't. But I was ashamed of _myself_. You know how long it took for me to admit that I had more than platonic feelings for you."

"…I mean, now I see it, you're right." Alfred said sheepishly. "I thought I was – I used to think constantly that I was unbearable, and I didn't get why all these people seemed to like me a lot. I'm tryna change to be a better person throughout this process, and I've gotta say, you've helped me a lot."

"You've changed me…you've changed me for the better as well, love," Arthur said, to which Alfred unclasped their hands and wrapped his arms around Arthur's waist as if to say _'are you sure about that?!_ '

Arthur had confidence issues, Alfred had them as well – he was just better at concealing them compared to him. _Yes, Alfred…I'm doubly sure._

"Yes, definitely – how many times do I have to tell you, idiot! But, um, we're getting off topic." Arthur remarked, staring into what seemed like the endless twin pools that were his eyes. _By the Fates, I can't believe I just thought that was a good figure of speech to use…_

"With everything these few months, do you think your parents would let you…would let you be with me as the new King and Queen of Spades?" Arthur continued. "Would their decision really matter if they didn't like who you chose?"

"Actually, not really. At least from hat I've heard from the briefing Yao gave me before I started the process." Alfred said, tightening his warm grip on Arthur's waist. Arthur rested his hands on his arms – something he _still_ couldn't stop thinking about – and tipped his head up. The height difference was absolutely _perfect_.

"Technically, the Deciding's all about choice the prince or princess makes. At least, that was the hope when Spades adopted the system from Hearts way back," Alfred said, continuing. "It was a few years after the Virus came and left Spades, leaving it with only two thirds of their original population. Hearts had use the process after their queen eventually succumbed to the illness that mainly targeted females, and their people were both angry and afraid. To keep their country's morale up, the idea of an everyday citizen becoming a royal and accepted by the Fates was a more than fancy idea. But again – back to your original question. I'm sorry I'm boring ya with this history lesson."

"No, I did the same thing in the beginning!" Arthur laughed, and rested his head against Alfred's firm chest for a moment. _I can feel his heart beating faster…what is he so excited for?_

"Hey, so. My parents always wanted the best for me. Since I was a kid, I knew I had to go through a Deciding eventually. At first I complained and tried to push Matt to do it instead of me, but they said they'd have to have me give up the prince title and the crown, and as selfish as it sounds – I didn't want to." Alfred said, his eyes fixated on the boy in his arms.

"No, it doesn't necessarily – you're just ambitious." Arthur said. "Power, if used with good intentions, is wonderful in the right hands."

"Mmm," Alfred said, and he lifted Arthur's ungloved hand from on top of his arm, brushing it to his lips in a tender show of affection as they stopped near the grove of fir trees. "I know that Spades is gonna do well with you ruling – just by hearing that, I trust you. And I know that's what my mom and dad would have wanted."

"Their sons to be happy?" Arthur said, curling his fingers against Alfred's hand teasingly. "And a stable kingdom?"

"This is kind of embarrassing, but…my parents wanted Matt and I to marry for love above all else," Alfred confided. "I want to honour their wishes. Someone who I know I can trust deep down, someone that I'll love more than myself – and someone who feels that way."

"Let me be that someone," Arthur whispered, pressing himself as close as he could to Alfred as possible. "Despite all, I've found myself to adore you more than I thought ever possible. You can have me for a lifetime and beyond – as long as you do the same for me."

Alfred's expression dissolved into pure happiness, and he nodded, raising his hand to kiss Arthur's hand once more before reaching for the ring box, pausing when he felt Arthur's fingers on his chin.

"Alfred," he said with baited breath. "I want it to be a surprise. I'll pledge myself to you even without a stunning ring. I don't need trinkets, I…I, Fates, Alfred, I just want all of you."

"You'll get all of me whenever you want now," Alfred murmured, kneeling to brush away some snow that had fallen on Arthur's hair, his fingers trembling as he did so. "Will you marry me, Arthur?"

"Y-Yes, I will," Arthur sobbed, wrapping his arms around Alfred's neck. "I will, you idiot…!"

* * *

"I'm too nervous for the announcement tomorrow," Alfred said, rubbing his eyes. "And I'm too tired! Arthur, can I stay over for tonight?"

"Stay over for – _stay over_?!" Arthur blurted, his face flushing red. "What do you mean by-"

"I meant like, uh, sleeping together!" Alfred grinned. "Look, I'll sleep on the lil' couch loveseat thing if you want-"

He let out a high pitched scream as Arthur tossed one of the pillows at his face, his cheeks scarlet as he started yelling profanities at him. "SLEEPING – TOGETHER?! HOW- _HOW IMPROPER_ -"

"I _MEANT_ ," Alfred howled, dodging the melee pillow, "NO FUNNY STUFF! JUST CUDDLING AN' ALL-"

"WH-oh, _that's_ what you meant," Arthur said, releasing his pillowcase and pausing for a moment. "Goodness, you should have told me…"

Alfred gave a little, exasperated sigh, but watched expectantly as Arthur got into the bed, and followed suit as soon as Arthur patted the space next to him, a hint of tension simmering in the air as it always did with young lovers.

"If you try anything…" Arthur mumbled into Alfred's chest, his warmth comforting in the dim room. "I'm going to wish you never set foot in this world."

"Aww, princess, that wouldn't be fun at all," Alfred sang.

"Just go back to sleep," Arthur said, muffled as he pulled the covers over the two of them. "Duchess, your onesie is absolutely ridiculous…no taste…"

"Hey, I have good taste in sweethearts!" Alfred countered, and he could _feel_ the rouge dusting Arthur's cheeks.

"G…goodnight, Alfred...lovely," Arthur said, kissing his cheek and feeling the hint of stubble near his chin. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Arthur, my princess," Alfred breathed, holding Arthur closer, taking in his familiar scent of roses. "I'll see ya tomorrow."

It wasn't until Arthur's fists curled onto his chest and his breaths became deeper that Alfred could find sleep, holding the one he loved.

 _No harm in not waking up…_

* * *

or _is there_ , alfred? ;D

also, gilbert, i keep on making you suffer i'm sorry buddy

* * *

replies

 _pineappledannish_ \- aww thank you lovely x

 _CFAA_ \- muahaha, i haven't been paying them much attention as well as the nordics as they were kind of thrown in, i wanted to give them some screen time as well .3.

 _IMSCREAMING_ \- may i prescribe a throat lozenge

 _pastaaddict_ \- maybe you know me too well...

 _vivadragnire_ \- maybe, maybe not lmao. thank you!

 _russia says hello_ \- ohh yep, i've always liked the idea of a perspective change so it was sweet to go to another popular _Hetalia_ group to see what they're up to while our main pairing frolicks around in fluff land. also what does 'something happen' smell like?

 _WinchesterStilinskiKitsune_ \- thank you v much aaaa! that's actually a very good idea, i'll definitely look into it. perhaps as a standalone set of drabbles?

 _livandra_ \- ack that means a lot. i hope you'll be swept away by this one as well!

 _hearthorse11_ \- it's OK man, i've always got you with a crate of tissues whenever needed!

 _guest_ \- oh hell you bet i'm happy lmao. thanks a bunch!

* * *

 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	86. Don't

touch serious chapter.

replies will be next week!

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

"Um…good morning, Arthur," the voice of Ace Matthew travelled across the light atmosphere of the early morning as his fingers trembled against the doorknob. "I was wondering if you were – OH MY _GOD._ "

Matthew let out a screech, springing away from the doorknob at the sight that greeted him as soon as he had opened it.

"Clothes, clothes, _CLOTHES_!" he shrieked, covering his eyes as Alfred clumsily got up from the bed, trying to catch his bearings.

"Mph…sor- _ry_ ," he mumbled, shuffling into the bathroom, sleepily reaching for the zip that had loosened to around his waist, leaving his upper torso completely exposed. Pawing around Arthur's room, he held up a pair of loose pants and a white shirt.

"Sugar, can I borrow this for a sec?" he asked, turning back to press a kiss against Arthur's forehead.

Matthew could pinpoint the exact moment Arthur's eyes softened, and the way he nodded and reciprocated the gesture spoke volumes about their relationship.

"Until when?" Arthur said jokingly, folding his arms. "You've already taken my scarf…"

"But you've taken my jacket," Alfred grinned back. "About the kiss…when I lose my morning breath I'll give you as many as you want."

"T…tch, I didn't mean that, idiot," Arthur _humph_ -ed, but grinned all the same. "All right then. Be careful in there…"

Matthew and Arthur – after when he tore his gaze from Alfred making his way to his bathroom, naturally – exchanged embarrassed glances then burst out laughing, Arthur wrapping the blanket around his head in embarrassment.

"Had a nice night, eh?" Matthew teased, coming to the edge of the bed and nudging him on the shoulder, keeping one heart to his chest to calm his heartbeat.

"Of – of course not, Matthew, ah…" Arthur stuttered, blushing madly when he caught sight of Matthew's suggestive expression.

"Well, judging by the general unkemptness of your hair and my brother's sleepwear the way it is, I think my suspicions have some ground." Matthew grinned, folding his arms with a hint of satisfaction.

The two of them heard humming, followed by the sound of rushing water inside the bathroom, and struggled to hold in their laughter – Alfred wasn't exactly the most talented of musicians.

"Don't make it sound so sinister, it's nothing like what you're suggesting. We didn't want to break the unspoken rule before the official announcement, and the two of us aren't that…confident in those matters just yet." Arthur confessed. "Ack, this is so embarrassing…"

"I'll be your brother in law very soon," Matthew smiled warmly, taking in his hand. "And soon there'll be some support in helping me confess to Alfred about the affair. Of Gilbert and I-"

"Of course, but-" Arthur began, but was interrupted with Alfred's presence, his eyes shocked and disbelieving.

The humming and the sounds of the shower had stopped.

"What…affair?" Alfred said, his voice deathly quiet. He had Arthur's nightclothes – that were a little shorter for him – but the hand around his towel had loosened, dropping it to the floor.

Matthew's face paled, and Arthur's heart dropped into his stomach.

 _In the name of the Fates, please, don't_ -

"Have you...have you two been having an affair with _each other_?" Alfred said grimly.

"What? No, no, of course, not!" Matthew exclaimed, but Arthur could easily see the distress in his expression. "Did you think that _we-_ "

"Matthew." Alfred's voice was hard. "We have to talk outside. Now. No, actually, _fuck that_ – we're talking here because Arthur obviously knows what's happening, right?" he said, anger punctuating his tone that sent fear shooting into Arthur's heart.

 _This can't be how it ends. For him to hate me after finding out how Matthew and Gilbert are together, and how I hid their relationship…_

Arthur opened his mouth, but the prince didn't give him a chance, his cold gaze fixing squarely on his brother.

"I swear, I knew. Those small letters you snuck in for his little yellow bird. How you were always extra busy come Saturday, the way the two of you would come late together after Meetings. That damn Iron Cross necklace you always wear! Of course it had to all connect for someone." Alfred said, his chest heaving.

"How – _when_ , exactly, did it start between you two?" he continued, his blue eyes taking on a dangerous sheen.

Matthew swallowed tightly. "Our sixteenth birthday party."

"I knew it. That was why you were so damn distracted! You barely gave anyone else's gifts a look, but when Gilbert appeared with that little present box of his What was that - was it the Iron Cross?" Alfred demanded.

"Yes, it was," Matthew said, almost inaudibly. "It was his symbol of him promising himself to me. He said that King Ludwig gave his own to Feliciano to promise himself to him no matter what."

"Duchess, I should have seen it coming. We all should have. What were you _thinking_ , Matthew! You shouldn't be making this mistake, especially since you're you!" Alfred said. "A Joker and an Ace, _together_?! You've read all those legends about how dangerous that is. They were our bedtime stories!"

"You don't know, Alfred!" Matthew lashed out for a moment, eyes locking onto his brother's. "Your own fucking love story has always been so easy, and you come in and criticize me-"

" _If_ it was so easy, Matthew," came the icy reply, "I would have chosen Arthur months ago. I would have decided and ended this."

"What do you mean?" Matthew said. "You _are_ choosing him-"

"That's no longer part of your business," Alfred snarled. "Now move out of the way. I'll talk to you again later."

Matthew's face flared with apprehension, but he reluctantly retreated back to the hallway leading to Arthur's room. Arthur slowly approached him, Alfred's face following his brother, but before he could say anything Alfred spoke.

"Is this the reason you stayed? For my brother, instead of me? Do you have _any idea_ what you've been keeping all these months?" Alfred's voice was cold, and Arthur realized that he could barely recognize it compared to his usual voice.

"Alfred, they're – they're in love. Please, just let the two of them explain, they're just as in love as we are. You've got to only see them for a day, I swear-" Arthur said desperately, moving a little closer to his side, not daring to look into his eyes.

"Are we?" Alfred said, his voice defeated as he lowered his chin to meet Arthur's green eyes. "Arthur, were we ever in love? What – how much was it to stay in and protect my brother instead of staying here for me? H-How much of what we are is a _lie_ …?"

"None of it," Arthur whispered, his fingers trembling as they gestured to where they usually found themselves, against Alfred's knuckles like last night where they had been in the garden. "None of it was a lie, Alfred. Before I got to know you, I was here for my family and him, but everything's changed since then!"

"I've spent a day with them already," Alfred said, words laced with jealousy. "The evening of our sixteenth birthday. After we blew out the candles on our cake. Ludwig offered to dance with me after they gave the presents out, and everyone knew that we wouldn't think twice because he was committed to his duty of holding his Deciding later that fall. But Matthew took Gilbert out onto the floor, and by the way they looked at each other, the way they held each other as they danced around."

He exhaled, holding the bridge of his nose, his feet glued to the floor. "Any fool could have seen that they were falling in love, right there and then. Just…just like that, I'd lost my brother."

"Alfred," Arthur said. "Not every love story's is simple, like those in fairytales. Just look at us-"

"Eight months, Arthur," Alfred said, his tone pained. "Eight months, and we still have so many things between us. Those three words are almost like a taboo for us. It's a constant, painful reminder that we're still holding back from each other."

 _I love you_ , Arthur pleaded internally, saying what his lips could not move to say, to cry out, to shout. _More than you could ever know between words._ "Don't – please don't let this come between us. I swear, it's you t-that I'm here for you. You're why I'm still here-"

Alfred's blue eyes seared his, cold and distant.

"Of everything you've said to me so far, the pain of that possibly being a lie hurts the most, Arthur Kirkland." his expression shifted, taking on a face full of hurt, but it quickly hardened.

Back into his mask that Arthur had tried so hard to ease off.

"Matthew!" he ordered, in that cold, emotionless voice that Arthur was terrified of. "We're going to Yao. Now. Arthur, you're staying there. I'm not letting you leave."

"Alfred? Alfred, please, you can't-" Arthur gasped, feeling everything inside him crumple. "If we ever meant anything to you, let me-"

Arthur heard him exhale once, a tortured breath that seemed to last a lifetime but felt like a heartbeat's worth at the same time. The doorknob twitched for a moment.

And then, that moment ended with Arthur collapsing against his door, tears falling down his face as he covered it with his shaking hands.

They were no longer warm.

"What did you do to him?" Matthew demanded, his heart pummeling against his chest as Alfred took brisk, harried steps towards what was certainly Yao's study on the second floor. "Alfred, answer me!"

"Miss," Alfred said in a hard tone, catching the attention of the nearest maid standing by near a bust of some Spades queen Matthew couldn't remember. "Put the whole palace on lock down. Get to the kitchens and make sure they spread the word there."

"P… _Pardon_ , Your Highness?" she sputtered, disbelief etched onto her every feature. "The whole palace suspended – is there a rebel attack?"

"Something unspeakable's happened," Alfred said. "Now go!'

With a wordless nod, she pelted off, but as soon as Alfred tried to catch hold of Matthew's wrist his brother tore himself from his grip.

"Alfred, _answer me_!" he shouted, worry etched onto his features. " _What did you do to Arthur?"_

"…" Alfred's mouth was still for a few moments before he spoke, his expression speaking volumes of anguish and fury and love, so much that Matthew could tell that whatever semblance of a mask he had once worn was completely torn from his face.

"Do you think," he said, voice suddenly shrinking to a whisper, "Do you think…do you _think_ I would harm the one that I love? After you vouched for him? I know what he did was for your sake, Matthew. But he broke my trust, right from the very beginning. I don't know _who_ to trust any more."

"You can still trust me," Matthew said, letting a hint of a plea slip into his vice. "And Arthur. And Yao. Alfred, do you seriously believe what we're doing is wrong? We're trying to _prevent_ war, not start it!"

Matthew felt his eyes water underneath his glasses, and didn't stop to catch his brother's expression before he continued.

"Mother and Father said that they wanted us to care for someone first above all, not marry another for political gains or something else. Isn't that what we're doing? Staying with people that we love?" Matthew whispered, desperately hoping that his plea would not fall on deaf ears. "Alfred, come on. You know that what we're doing is only human."

The two of them stood together for a few tense moments, before Alfred laughed. Not in humour, but something more diluted, almost as if were something choking him, threatening to drown him entirely. Matthew could only watch as Alfred coughed the sound away.

"Matthew, I…" Alfred said, his tone flat. "I don't want to do this. I'm not as experienced as you, but I'm trying. I don't know how to handle this situation. I'm _doing my best_. I'm trying to reduce the damage from the fallout that'll happen when they find out about your relationship – no, your illicit relationship. But when you tell me, on the _day_ I was going to marry the person I love that everything I have with him as been a lie, what else am I supposed to do?"

"Trust those who know more about it than you do," Matthew said, fingers tentatively curling for his brother's hand. "Al, you know as well as I do that the love he has for you isn't a lie, and it will never be. You don't have to be alone in solving this problem. You have me, Yao and Arthur, as well as Ludwig, Gi-and, and your other friends. You don't _have to be alone_ , and you never will."

"I wish that was true," Alfred said bitterly, but turned away, brushing away Matthew's hand. "I'm seeing Yao before anything else happens."

"What about-" Matthew began, but stopped as Alfred's footsteps ground to a halt.

"Don't." Alfred said, his voice cracking, betraying the grief that was burning in his soul. "Don't say his name, Matthew. It's over."

"It's – _what_?" Matthew gaped, grabbing his arm and forcing Alfred to look him in the eye. "You – you _know_ as well as I do how much he loves you!"

"Does he?" Alfred sobbed, blinking his eyes fiercely. "He's never told me that he loves me, with those three words. I don't know anymore, Matthew. And the worst thing is that? I can't just love someone like that. I can't just chop and change. You may think I'm lucky to marry whoever I want to-"

"You are!" Matthew shouted, gripping his brother's jacket in rage. "You don't ever have to feel fear when you're with the person you love. You _k-know_ when you're going to see them the next time! You know that they're safe. You can see them every day if you so wish. But me? The moment I'm found out, I'm accused for a crime that only makes me human!"

"Matthew, you don't-" Alfred replied sharply, but Matthew was too overcome to even listen to him anymore.

"What?" he wept, his fists tightening. "You can just run another Deciding, again and again, and find another Arthur. But once the troops you'll send out find Gilbert, there…he's gone. There won't _ever_ be another Gilbert for me. I'll be forced into some loveless marriage, and live with the fact that I sent the person I love to his death. I can't live with that. No one can."

Something in Alfred's features changed – his eyes darkened, turning almost blue-gray in the white light, and he pried Matthew away in a gesture that was both forceful yet cautious, running his hands through his hair.

"Just because I'm a prince and I can run a Deciding doesn't mean whoever I marry is disposable," Alfred said letting out a long, tortured exhale. "Even if I run another hundred Deciding processes there won't be another like him. There won't ever _be_ another person that makes me feel the way I do when I'm around him. No one will be able to fill my heart in the way Arthur does, no one will have his voice or tell me off or make me laugh. And to find this out, that he helped you with your secret even though he promised that I could trust him…you don't understand how _crushing_ it is, to have the one person that I love more than myself essentially betray me."

"It was with good intentions," Matthew insisted. "Don't take your anger out on him!"

"If it was that simple, I already wouldn't have," Alfred said bitterly. "But you don't really know what you've done. You haven't just ruined two lives, you've ruined at least four, and the safety of a whole continent. Just remember it before you judge what they're going to do to you."

"What - th-they…?" Matthew said, shocked.

"I'm not so… you surely don't think I'm so _heartless_ that I'd want to hurt my brother and one of my best friends, aren't I?" Alfred whispered, brushing away tears that were cascading down his cheeks. "You're still my brother. I'll still defend you to my final breath. But Fates knows what'll happen when the advisors get wind of this. Don't – for my sake, and for Arthur's sake, tell them he had _any_ part in this, and try to keep the damage as little as possible, even if it means unbearable sacrifice. D-Do you understand?"

Matthew's expression fell, and he let his face fall forward, his loose curl bouncing in his face as shame filled his features once more. In a matter of minutes, they would intercept Gilbert's train when they found out.

And everything would be over.

" _Do you understand_!" Alfred cried, shaking his brother's shoulders. "I know it hurts. I can't do anything about it. I have to at least tell Yao. Please, don't…don't hate me for doing what's right."

Matthew could only stare dully at his brother's face, and felt like he was moving through molasses on the way to his guardian's study.

 _Gilbert…_

* * *

 _Why won't_ _ **this**_ _one go away, again?_ Yao asked himself, trying his best to not roll his eyes. _She's been hounding me ever since breakfast._

Yao was currently cooped up in his study as he did on most days, especially in such extreme cold that hadn't been seen in Spades for over fifty years. His pen hovered over the pile of seemingly endless paper work, but he had to stop as soon as this advisor had trooped into his room, a thin plastic folder in her hand and began to chatter his right ear, his left ear and all perceptive senses off the chart, so much that he couldn't concentrate on the pieces of legislation he had to sign…

"And the retail sector's not being as active this Christmas season, which is unfortunate," she continued to ramble. "With it being homeland affairs, this must be down your alley, right, Jack Yao?"

"Yes…Aileen," Yao said, taking a moment to peer at the small, purple pin attached to her jacket. "Yes, it is. However, if you want to talk about finances, you must seek out Ace Matthew since economy is right down his alley."

"Oh, but Jack Yao," she continued as if she had not heard the remark at all. "I already _have_ all the numbers, but I was just wondering about the trend within Spades that has caused this decrease-"

"Couldn't you find it within your results?" Yao asked, desperately holding back a laugh. "The…set of numbers you must have found would have suggested some correlation."

"I can't seem to find what they are without some numbers that only the Primary Suit have…" she said, leaning forward with a prying expression that made him press his lips into a thin line.

 _If she's implying what I believe her to be…_

"A group of advisors – not like I'm included, of course – at the very top are concerned about the Primary Suit's possible lack of trust, to say," Aileen continued, crossing her legs. "And I don't want these rumours, so to speak, spread further, so if you let me have some information that you haven't shared with most and I can present them, then, well…"

"All right. I'm sorry, Aileen, but I'm not sure exactly what sort of 'confidential' information you believe that the three of us – two, officially – are hiding from you, but-" Yao began to reply a little harshly, but was interrupted with a set of three knocks on the door.

Those three sounds on his door were Alfred's signal.

 _Ah, is he going to end it now? I suppose it's been fine time he ends this, as he's been wanting to for a while…_

"Prince Alfred, Ace…Matthew," Yao said, pausing as he took in Alfred's tight face, Matthew's anguished expression. "What brings you two here?"

"Ah, Your Highnesses!" the advisor said, standing up with an unreadable expression on her face. "What a treat?"

"Can you excuse us, please?" Alfred said, his voice low, not really facing her per se. "It's a matter that's between the Primary Suit's ears only."

"…Well I never, my Jack!" she exclaimed triumphantly, and Matthew and Yao exchanged a look of mutual desperation, although Matthew's eyes said something else. "It seems that there _is_ something that you are hiding from us, correct?"

"You _do_ understand, Aileen, that the relationship we share is far beyond the bonds co workers share, yes?" Yao said, his voice stony as he cast a warning glance at Alfred.

The damage was done; now she'd refuse to leave.

"Naturally, but they shouldn't be something so drastic that you'd have to force one of the _top_ advisors to leave, yes?" she pressed on, putting her folder on her lap. "So, please carry on, you three."

"…" Alfred didn't say anything as he moved to Yao's side, Matthew following closely behind him, but the expression in his face said it all.

It was fear in volumes he hadn't seen in the young prince's face since childhood. It must have been so bad that he didn't want to say it in the first place, but with _an advisor_ in the background, let alone a top one.

"Matthew. Do you want to-" he said, taking a surprise turn towards his brother instead. "I don't want to. You know I don't."

"…no, it's only right," Matthew said, stepping forward and releasing a shaky breath. "Yao…I'm sorry. I've failed you. I've failed Spades. I've failed Cards."

Yao tried to acutely ignore the very invested advisor, and focus on the needs of those he actually cared about.

"What do you mean?" he said, surprise shooting into his heart, coupled with a bolt of dread. Matthew didn't play around, he never did. "Matthew, you know you can trust me with anything."

A small, imperceptible shake of his head told Yao everything again.

 _Not in front of the advisor. Please, only you'd understand._

Matthew blinked, his lashes staying shut for a moment too long as he parted his lips again.

 _Forgive me._

"The Joker. Gilbert." he began, throat catching on the name, and kept on going as if it physically pained him. "I…I have been having an illicit relationship with him, since – since, since. For three years, now."

 _Illicit relationship…? Fates. Matthew, Matthew, you…_

"But of course it is!" the advisor screeched, the shock of it making Yao jolt. "A relationship with Diamonds' Joker! Ace Matthew, what were you thinking – the court _will_ hear about this! All the people-"

"Aileen!" Yao shouted, fixing her with a glare, the strongest he could muster as all this information whirled around in his head. "Sit down this instant."

"There _must_ be some sort of retribution for your liege's traitorous actions!" she said, getting out of her seat. "Do you not intend to punish him for his horrific actions. You should be shamed, the two of you – _all_ of you!"

"I will sort this out with my _own_ wisdom," Yao said. "Alfred, make sure that she does not leave this room before I find out about the whole situation. Matthew. Is this true?"

"Y-Yes," Matthew whispered, and Yao could feel the tears lacing his voice. "I…I had to confess to Alfred. I couldn't hide it any longer."

"You do know what a relationship between an Ace and a Joker means, right?" Yao said, trying to somehow calm a very distressed Matthew down.

This confession was extremely brave of him. And to be called a traitor and having an affair as a horrific action was something Yao still feared.

 _This could have been me,_ he thought as he placed a shivering hand on Matthew's shoulder. _It could have been Ivan, torn to shreds by his brutal court. It could have been the two of us._

"What do you think we should do now?" Yao said, feeling his heart in his ribcage beat, the sound ringing in his ears.

"An appropriate action that I think must be taken now," the advisor said, drawing herself up and tilting her chin haughtily, "is that we seize the Joker himself and bring him to Spades and inflict punishment."

Matthew made a pained gasp in his throat, something relatively minuscule but so pent up that Yao could feel his agony in that moment. Something tenfold that he had felt when Ivan was torn from him in his last visit.

"Aileen, I do not believe seizing him will do anything for our already cool relationship with Diamonds, and will not do anything for our strained relationship with Clubs with attacking a key member of their closest ally. I suggest that we _bring_ him, not-" Yao said, but she had already gone on a tangent.

"Well, do that, then! Whatever we need to do to bring face back to the disgrace that is this situation to Spades. No one is getting off lightly in this situation. We may have to go to war if necessary." She said, hysterical in her movement. "There is no way that there will not be huge fallout after this."

Matthew's hand fell onto the desk, and Yao noticed his other grasp at a sort of black cross that he wore on his neck.

An _Iron_ Cross – a distinct curved shape, the silver outline, the black center…

He briefly thought back to the last Meeting, the last he had seen their Hearts allies. King Ludwig had been as polished as usual, always at Jack Feliciano's side, who wore an Iron Cross – King Ludwig's heirloom that he had given to Feliciano during his own Deciding, one that he made Feliciano promise to keep even if the Fates deemed him unfit to rule Hearts.

Joker Gilbert was King Ludwig's brother, and had had a short reign as Hearts queen before Feliciano had succeeded the throne as Jack and therefore provided the bare minimum of two in a court. He must have had another Iron Cross, one that he gave to his lover…

 _This is real, isn't it?_ Yao thought, the sickening feeling filling his stomach. _And I didn't see it. I couldn't help it._

 _What kind of guardian am I?_

"We'll apprehend him on the train, then," Aileen said, her right hand curling around her left hand, which now formed a fist. "The Joker and his entourage should be around two hours from the Spades station."

With that, she flounced out, and Alfred watched her go as the door slammed in his face, his whole body tense.

The instant her heels stopped clacking along the marble of the Spades palace floor, Matthew broke down, dissolving into sobs as he clutched the cross against the palm of his hand.

"It's over, it's over, oh Fates he's gone," Matthew hiccupped, choking against his own tears. "No, no, no…why did I have to do this? Why did I have to hurt him? They'll beat him up and try to frame him, they will…it's all my fault…"

"Matthew. Listen to me," Yao said, cupping his elbows in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. "I will contact King Francis and the Diamonds Suit about the situation right now. We must get all the aid we can. And King Ludwig deserves to know. You understand why, yes?"

"We haven't done anything wrong," Matthew sobbed, curling on himself. "I'm not a traitor, Yao. Neither of us are. We…we don't want to start a w-war, we're just…we're just _human,_ and all we've done is love each other. There aren't any dangerous children, it's just us and-"

"Matthew. Matthew, come here," Yao said, gathering up him in his arms as if he were five again as Matthew howled in his arms, pressing the sounds against his knuckles as tears streamed down his face. "Listen to me. I'll – We'll do anything to make this better. I swear on the Fates."

Alfred stood silent near the door, his blue eyes taking in all the destruction that had happened in the space of a morning.

* * *

The train chugged along the tracks as Gilbert folded his blank paper and stared outside the window. No words were coming forth, he'd have to deliver them from his mouth instead of a note. Why? Because that wasn't as awesome in his eyes…

 _Just an hour_ , he recited to himself, shuttering his eyes. _Just two hours until I can be in his arms again, telling him jokes, his fingers in my hair…_

His scarlet eyes flew open moments later as a commotion erupted behind his cabin door, and jumped as he felt the train come to a halt. A few more footsteps, and a entourage of around five Spadian soldiers stood outside his door, their expressions grim.

"Uh – has something happened? Train breaking, or…?" Gilbert asked, gingerly standing up. "Has something happened in-"

"Joker Gilbert," one of them said, producing a pair of handcuffs, the dim sunlight catching on one of them. "You are being apprehended for the charge of an illicit affair that is illegal according to Cards law. We are taking you straight to Spades."

"What the fuck?" Gilbert growled, not holding back his profanity as if it were a way to disguise his fear. Had they found out about him and Matthew? "All of you, get back-"

 _Have they done anything to him? Is he all right?_

 _My vision._

"If he's restraining arrest, the advisors said that we could use force," the soldier said, swinging the handcuffs. "Apprehend him."

Three of them nodded, and one of them went straight for his torso, lashing out with his knee and scoring a direct blow that sent Gilbert reeling. Gilbert whipped around, reaching for his arm, but another had already joined in the fray, grabbing two of his arms and yanking them tight against his back. Gilbert shouted out, the pain searing, and kicked out. He heard a shout of pain – not knowing who it was at this point – and heard the click of handcuffs.

Adrenaline shot through his system and he tried to shove them off, feeling for a moment like his brother and not the scrawnier, shorter version of Ludwig, but as soon as he scored on a target he felt the handcuffs tighten around his wrists painfully, and he was jerked to his knees. He felt the kick of a boot on his cheek and he spat, but that only gave him another blow that sent everything reeling and the red velvet of the cabin blurring, blurring into softened violet eyes.

Then nothing.

* * *

 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	87. Dereliction

appears

well i'm so glad everyone enjoyed the new chapter, i say as i duck tomatoes. i hope everyone loves this one as well! i exclaim as a shower of pitchforks soar through the air and stab the ground in front of me

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also: i would ask that this chapter's title actually matters haha. please search it up if you don't understand it - it's just one of my favourite words in the english language.

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

The light that filtered off the silver frame of the window was the harsh sight that assaulted Gilbert's senses when he came to.

A brutal winter in Spades had created a colder environment than in Hearts and Diamonds for this year, and so as his eyes fluttered open the air was freezing and he could swear that he breathed out a steam cloud as he got himself upright, toes curling and arms scrabbling to his sides as he leaned against the bed frame and-

" _Ack_ ," Gilbert groaned, his throat protesting at the sudden sound as several sharp pains made their presence known as he moved his abused body.

Welts and bruises had contaminated his ghostly pale skin from shades of deep purple to a garish red. As he released his hands, he got a good look at them – his wrists were marked, and as he ran cautious fingers up his face he could feel more tender marks alongside his jaw and cheek. A deep cut that was sloppily bandaged near his cheekbone, and when he took a look at his legs, propped up on the cot, he tucked them underneath the blanket almost immediately, material coarse under his tired fingers.

"Well," he said, his bruise on his cheek and jaw protesting as they moved, "They did a number on this old thing, didn't they?"

 _Where am I – the train, the noise. We stopped…_

"You're awake," a voice said abruptly, jolting Gilbert from his hazy reverie. It was a Spades soldier, somewhat like the ones that had beat him up in the carriage of the train. He couldn't tell if it was the exact sort of people that had done it, but still. " _You_."

"Yeah, me." Gilbert croaked out, trying to make a joke but his injuries causing the move to fail.

"How can you _speak_ like that?" the guard gaped, her hands tightening into fists. Gilbert subconsciously asked himself why she did not have a weapon – perhaps they didn't want him to be beaten into a pulp while he was asleep. "Do you know what you've done to Ace Matthew's honour!? Tainted! They're outside trying to salvage his reputation! You must surely know."

"…I don't know," Gilbert began slowly, forcing a smile back onto his facade. "I haven't been outside ever since your cohorts beat me up in the train. I'm still a royal, missus. All Jokers are born from royalty. Who says I don't have something to protect as well?"

 _What a pathetic front, but it's believable._ Gilbert thought to himself as her expression contorted into fury. _If I get them to take all their anger out on me, maybe they won't touch Matthew. I'd rather the heat be on me than him-_

Abruptly, a scraping noise from outside his pasty, painted door brought Gilbert into an apprehensive state, his bruised hands curling into fists. Who was on the other side of the door?

He hated the possibility of the first name that rushed into his mind; he hated how much fear was driven into his heart at the _thought_ of it.

After what happened in the train, this was surely no guest room.

This was a prison.

A moment later, the scraping turned into footsteps against the familiar marble floor of Spades, and Gilbert's heart leapt at the same time it tried to shirk away against the back of his ribcage.

To both his relief and tension, Alfred's immaculately pressed suit was the one that made its entrance into Gilbert's room. He was holding a foldable metal chair, and by the way his footsteps were slow and how he quietly sat into it instead of collapsing on it like he usually did, Gilbert knew that he wasn't a friend any more in this moment.

"Miss? I'll take over from here," he said to the soldier. "You are excused."

"Yes, Your Highness," she said, her voice venomous as she glared at Gilbert again. "Make him pay what he's done to our monarch."

"…" Alfred didn't say anything, but waited until she left before he unfolded a chair and sat down in the middle of the space.

The two of them sat in the room in silence for a period of time Gilbert couldn't even tell how long it was exactly. There was only one thing on his mind, and it wasn't his punishment or how exactly they were discovered. It was about Matthew's safety. He knew since it was his own country, he wouldn't be as harshly punished as he himself would. That little fact alone was consolation enough, but…

He needed answers. And the one closest to him was sitting right in front of him, with his hands clasped together between his legs. and his expression unreadable. After being friends with him for so long, Gilbert didn't know what to say to him that didn't mean: "Hey, I don't care why or how I'm in this prison thing but is Ma-"

"I know what you're thinking," Alfred said, his voice low. Gilbert's chest fell, and he let his jaw fall shut, wincing a little at the pain. "I don't think you even know why you're here."

"Look at me, Alfred," Gilbert said tiredly. "I wasn't brutally beat up for diplomacy. I know what's happened. But never mind that. How is Matthew?"

"…you don't have a right to ask me about him anymore." Alfred replied, carefully keeping his gaze on the floor. "It's no longer your business."

"…" Gilbert paused, but he wrung his hands in nervousness. "Just tell me that he's fine, Alfred."

"He's not." Alfred said, and Gilbert's eyes shot up to see him advancing towards him, eyes burning with an emotion he couldn't read. "He won't ever fucking be again. And that's all because of _you_!"

He felt Alfred's hand move, felt the wind whistle as it came towards his face. Against everything he wanted to do, Gilbert flinched, waiting for the blow, the violent throb of agony that was going to sear across his bruises and stain his skin scarlet…

It never came.

Gilbert only heard Alfred's heavy breathing in the quiet room, could feel the smallest of heat stem from the closeness of the palm of his hand. He didn't dare to move until Alfred stepped back, and until he felt the moment had calmed down somewhat he spoke again.

"Alfred. I'm begging you. As a friend. I don't care what happens to me. _Has anyone hurt Matthew_?" Gilbert said, his voice ragged.

"They're considering enacting punishment. The court. They're having a discussion right now, without us royals." Alfred said flatly.

 _Punishment. Capital punishment-_

"N-No…!" Gilbert forced out, his throat closing up in distress as he surged forward. He couldn't even control himself anymore – he felt Alfred flinch underneath his hands, but he was holding his jacket. Suddenly, he felt too tired to shake him. To even lay a hand on Alfred anymore.

"What are you-" Alfred spluttered indignantly, but Gilbert couldn't stop now.

"Hurt me," Gilbert said quietly. "Hurt me all you want, Prince Alfred. Beat me up again. Seize everything I have. Cane me. Stab me. Hang me. _Torture_ me. Just…just don't hurt Matthew. Let me take anything that you've got for him. He doesn't deserve it."

"Gil," Alfred said, staring down at his pitiful form. "I…I'm sorry."

Gilbert nodded, his jacket sagging from his shoulders as he withdrew, his body trembling. "So you decided to send your brother to the harvest."

"What? Gil, look-" Alfred said, and Gilbert squeezed his eyes shut. His friend had started to sound like his old self, and he was going to break down. He couldn't. For Matthew's sake, he-

"Would you punish Lud?" Alfred questioned, and Gilbert shook his head mutely.

"You know nothing in the world would make me turn against my brother," Gilbert said. "Are you trying to justify hurting the one I love? Because you know nothing will."

"I'm human, Gil," Alfred said. "I wouldn't. You know I wouldn't want this for any of us. Yao and I – we're doing our best. But you know in the eyes of the court and in the eyes of the people, this is serious. We haven't had a case like this for hundreds of years, ever since-"

"The pair from Hearts and Clubs. Funny how it's from Diamonds and Spades this time." Gilbert said, but let his scarlet gaze drift back onto his friend's face. "There aren't any kids, Al. I'll sign an agreement guaranteeing it. Just…make sure Matthew's safe. That's all I need."

* * *

The whole palace was eerily silent as it remained on lockdown. The advisors were hosting a discussion about Matthew and Gilbert's fate, but Matthew didn't even know if they'd let Carlos inside. Yes, he was an advisor, but everyone knew he and Carlos were very close. They might exclude him thanks to bias…

"I've contacted both Hearts and Diamonds, Matthew," Yao said, his gaze troubled as he made his way into the room. "But I have done all I can now. It is up to the Fates to see this through."

"Thank you, Yao," Matthew said brokenly, resting his head against the wall of his mentor's study. "You've done more than enough."

"Look," Yao said, walking a little closer to him. "I'm sorry that we couldn't get the advisor away yesterday. If we could have done so, we could have resolved this a lot earlier. I'm thankful you did come clean at the end, about this relationship. I don't want to think about what might have happened if…"

"…oh," Matthew said softly, closing his eyes.

A pregnancy. An improbable child he and Gilbert would never raise for it to see the sunlight, or feel the breeze against their skin. To hold both of their hands in their own, to never be given piggy back rides or have tales told to them. A person borne out of their love, with Gilbert's hair and Matthew's eyes, and Gilbert's smile and Matthew's gentle nature. Nothing that was created from the love that they shared would be allowed to live.

"Granted, I trust your judgment," Yao said. "And I trust in Joker Gilbert to not go too far, but it did cross my mind. Why else would you be confessing this to me? But Alfred told me why, and how he found out. There is nothing I will chastise you for, and it is because the court will do anything in their power to secure this land from any fears, even if it means throwing people underneath a will that they know to be unfair."

"We just love each other," Matthew said, fighting back the tears as Yao sat down next to him. "No strings attached…"

"I know, I know," Yao said, pressing a kiss to his wheat locks as his liege rested his head against his shoulder in grief. "Being punished for someone that you love, just because society says it is unjust. It must hurt, every time, you see Joker Gilbert leave, yes?"

"Every instinct I have tells me not to let him go, but I'm powerless at the very end," Matthew said, his voice coming out like a sob. "And now I will have to watch him shoulder all the burden for something that was mutual…"

"It's not fair," Yao said softly, his eyes clouding over with forbidden memories he still kept clasped in his heart. A memento of a passion he and Ivan never managed to lose. "Why should we be punished for something that is merely human? Society may be secure, but it's cruel, Matthew. I'd hoped you would never have to face this for yourself…"

He paused before Matthew pulled him into a hug and he muffled his cries into his chin like he had when they were all younger. When everything was easier.

But the words Yao had spoken…it was as if he had felt his pain - almost as if he had experienced it _himself_.

Matthew wracked his brain for any sort of clues – whether he had seen Yao linger too long at the side of anyone in particular that did not have a lover. Something out of the blue – odd, even - something that went past the normal bonds of monarchs. A person that would only see Yao and vice versa, no one else…

"Y-Yao," Matthew hesitantly began, taking a breath and detaching himself from him, "Have you ever had an a-"

"It's me, Alfred," his brother's voice came over the door, and any thought of that conversation evaporated as Matthew rushed to get it. He had just been back from Gilbert's holding cell, and he wanted anything and everything about his beloved's condition…

"I just came up to see him – we only have half an hour, but I'm giving him five minutes to prep." he panted, and Yao nodded, closing the door.

"How is he?" Matthew nearly cried. "Is he all right? What did he say?"

"Nothing but fear for you, Matt," Alfred confessed, running a hand through his sweaty hair. "The moment I came in, he was being tormented by a soldier. The moment she left, he asked about you."

"Did they beat…?" Matthew asked, letting the word hang in the air like a clump of brambles.

"I-I don't know where they got their orders from," Alfred said, his face tense and unyielding. "Not from me. You remember how I said to not use force? Well, someone went and screwed that up. I've tried to get him a bit of care, but he's been through a rough time. I almost…I almost struck him, but to see him in that state, I…I couldn't do it."

"Did he look as bad as you did when you were caned?" Matthew echoed, his voice rippling off the walls of Yao's study like a chorus of pebbles. "I know you let Leon and Emil free because you felt their pain. After the rebellion."

"Caning…?" Yao's voice came over his subconscious, and Matthew felt like a weight had been lifted from his and his brother's shoulders. Yao didn't deserve to be kept in the dark, and the advisors didn't deserve to be spared from his wrath. This had to come out into the open. "There was another can-"

"Alfred. Show him your back." Matthew said. "Show him what the advisors will do to Gilbert, and to the others who will rebel against them."

His brother nodded, and Matthew watched Yao's expression closely as the scene unfolded. First his winter coat, his white shirt and then his undershirt. Then it came off, exposing his torso to the elements.

Even now did Matthew wince. His condition was kept secret even from the nurses and the doctors – Alfred had assured him that night that Arthur had helped him with his wounds, but even after Matthew had gave him some extra aid and considering Arthur had deft hands, they had scarred. On top of the other lashings the advisory court had inflicted upon him, just for daring to speak out against them.

Yao let out an audible gasp, shock etched onto his every feature as his mouth parted and he rushed forward, looking at the wounds as if he could hardly believe that they were real. He started towards them and the moment Alfred flinched Yao pulled back as if he had touched a naked flame.

"…Alfred. Why didn't you tell me…about _this_?" Yao said, but it was not anger nor disappointment etched into his words. It was a feeling of bitterness, a feeling of grief. An establishment of recognizing that he should have done better.

"I was afraid what they'd do to me again," Alfred whispered, putting his clothes back on. "They haven't been afraid to do it whenever I did something they viewed as insolent."

"When was the last time they even-" Yao breathed, holding his head in his hands.

"The latest rebel attack. The one where we found him and S-Sir Arthur in the safe house near the garden," Matthew said, his voice catching on the name. He heard Alfred make a pained sound in his throat, and decided not to push him any further. "It was a rough night, and had they not arrived Alfred would have been wounded further."

"This must end." Yao said firmly, helping Alfred back to his feet and placing his hands on his shoulders, making Alfred forget that there was even a height difference between them. "Alfred, Matthew. The two of you have been so strong in the face of tyrants. Alfred, when you finish your Deciding you, as king, will usurp all of this…this _treachery_ that has been committed against you and your brother. But for now, you must fight. Make sure that your queen is notified of all these things. You have to talk to them before the verdict for the revelation that was discovered last night is passed down. Fill them in on what you know now. Do you understand?"

 _He can't choose_ , Matthew wanted to tell Yao. _I've ruined them. Put this burden on my shoulders than his. He…I have no excuse. I've destroyed his relationship with what is his soulmate. Let me do it instead._

He didn't catch what Alfred had said in response, but before he knew it he and Alfred were saying a shaky goodbye to Yao and running down to the hallway where he knew his heart was.

Going back to the one that he'll love, above all.

Come what may.

* * *

Yao waited for the two of them to go and see Joker Gilbert, and then rested his head in his arms and let himself cry.

He was seeing history repeat itself – first with him and Ivan, then now Matthew and Gilbert were facing their biased judgment. Something not even he could fix as the power of so many can overwhelm one.

And Ivan, Alfred's most prominent adversary…what would his little boy say? Keeping so many secrets from him – that would ruin their bond forever.

Letting the advisors hurt Alfred and Matthew – the ones he promised to his parents that he would _protect_ – with a horrific set of canings and a punishment so disastrous that Yao didn't want to imagine it…

He had failed. As a Jack, as a leader, as a royal, as a lover, as a father.

"Forgive me, Alfred, Matthew, Spades, Cards… _Ivan_ …" Yao choked out, his blurry eyes catching on the sunflower perched on his desk. The last name, so tortured and yet so precious. "Forgive me."

* * *

Alfred's heart hurt the moment they opened the door and Matthew ran in and threw himself at Gilbert.

Matthew started crying almost instantly, taking in the severity of his wounds – Gilbert offered a crooked smile, letting his fingers lose themselves in Matthew's hair, but Matthew was having none of it as he held Gilbert as if he were made of porcelain, carefully touching his bruises on his face.

"I'm…sorry, Birdie, I couldn't quite clean up," Gilbert said feebly. "I'll take you someplace nice with good desserts next time."

"You're fooling yourself with that," Matthew sobbed, his lips ghosting over every bruise, every cut that marred the Joker's skin. "I don't have any use for sweet desserts, nor for any fancy suits. All I want is you."

"I'm so sorry, Matthew," Gilbert got out. He tried to rise but his legs wouldn't support him, but Matthew's hands were supporting him the moment he left his bed. "Th-they're not making you look bad out there, right? They can't be. I'm the problem here-"

"What fool told you that?" Matthew said, holding Gilbert's face to his own, their noses brushing even though Matthew was a slight taller. The height difference wasn't usually prominent, but Alfred could see it clearly now – Gilbert's hunched stance, the way Matthew supported him so naturally. "Love isn't a problem. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. _I love you_. You didn't force me. We fell in love together."

Gilbert chuckled, a grating, dried out sound that sounded like a record on a gramophone. "You know I love you, Matthew. I'd try to take the heat off you any way I can. These scars…when I look at them, _liebling_ , I am happy they're on my skin and not yours. You're too pretty to be covered in scars."

Alfred's heart broke at the words they were exchanging. The phrases.

 _I love you_.

Why did it come so simply for them? Alfred could see it in every movement they had, the way Gilbert's body curved towards his even in agony, and the way Matthew sought to protect him in his every movement. The words had come as easily as a fish swimming in water.

So why couldn't it have come so easily from Arthur's lips? From _his_ own? Alfred pursued his lips together as he took a chair from the corner as the two lovers embraced. In many ways, he was jealous. How stable their relationship was, how they already knew each other inside out…

 _Alfred,_ the voice from his memories inside his head spoke, and Alfred nearly cracked at the sound of Arthur's soft voice again. * _If you were flawless, well…let's just say that there would be less to love. I'll love your flaws, because they're a part of you._

 _Would you love me now?_ he thought to himself, twisting his finger in his hand. _I've hurt you so much within the past few hours. Would you look away from this and have me as I am?_

He closed his eyes for a heartbeat, imagining Arthur's anguished face, his thick eyebrows furrowed with emotion as Alfred opened the door – the barrier separating the two of them.

 _I'm sorry. Will you let me change? I'll get better with time, I swear. Let me learn. Let me grow…alongside you. For the rest of our lives._

"Alfred? Alfred, we have to go," the panicked sound of his brother was what jolted him from his wishful thinking. "There's someone coming down the corridor…"

"…OK," Alfred said, gathering up his things and waiting at the door – watching Matthew give Gilbert one last kiss.

"I love you, Matthew," he heard Gilbert say. "Stay safe. The Iron Cross will protect you when I'm not there."

"Please, don't do anything reckless," Matthew replied, his voice utterly heartbroken. "You know my heart always – _mmph_ – belongs to you. I love you…"

Alfred couldn't bear to see the expressions, the longing, anguished gazes his brother and his friend made as the two of them walked away into an uncertain path that would ultimately change them forever.

* * *

"Yes, that's _fine_ , Kiku," Lovino said almost teasingly, giving Kiku an approving nod. "Just because you're relatively new doesn't mean we don't trust in your instincts. You're his friend, and from what damn Ludwig's told me, your friend might be Queen of Spades pretty soon. Sharing intel's part of an alliance. Go on."

"Ah, sometimes I do not feel like I deserve the amount of trust you put in me, Ace Lovino," Kiku stammered, but his face was pleased as he put down the flip on Arthur's letter telling him what had come out of his plan for the peace talks with the rebels. "Just because we are friendly…"

"…does not guarantee that I am good," Lovino said, doing a re-enactment of Kiku's voice that made him laugh. "Kiku. First of all, _drop_ the honourifics, please. In Hearts, we're a family. Second of all, you're managing the court very well, even when they're pestering you about the process that made us all stronger. If you can do that – you've won my respect. Trust me. Feli cried for his first three meetings in a row."

"But Feli seems so natural in the role…" Kiku began, but trailed off the moment Ludwig came into the room and stood, Lovino following suit.

"Is there any news on Feliciano's condition?" Lovino blurted, holding his ground but clearly distressed about his younger brother. "The doctors have been saying that he might go into labour but I don't know, it's all your fault-"

"No, Lovino," Ludwig said, but his tone carried a degree of haste in it as he left the door open. "Please, the two of you need to see this message from Jack Yao. I've told Felci about it but he can't be worrying about it in his condition."

"Jack Yao?" Kiku echoed, placing Arthur's letter in his wide pockets. "What's-"

"Something. Something's terrible happened in Spades," Ludwig panted. "My brother and Ace Matthew are to be convicted and given a grave sentence. Please, they're asking for our help…"

* * *

*this appears in chapter 40. you're welcome.

* * *

replies

 _CFAA_ \- i officially apologise for toying with your emotions but they will be toyed with even further / runs

 _hearthorse11_ \- because i write fanfiction ;D

 _gast_ \- well at that point, matthew had already started to confess to yao and since they have punished him before, i would say it's sort of a 'deer in the headlights' reaction where he feels completely helpless because a. he fears the fallout from trying his best to forcefully push them out, and b. they simply wouldn't want to leave and if they were (somehow) forced from the room they'd spread incriminating rumours that yes, the primary suit are turning against us, etc.

 _russia says hello_ \- to be fair this fic is probably the length of jupiter's circumference...arthur's not feeling happy anymore though.

 _overworldly_ \- fun fact: it DID happen in the original but i thought it was kind of crass so yeah, no.

 _pastaddict_ \- i live to serve!

 _vivadragnire_ \- here's some more **prucan** to top the week off, just my treat! you can have some extra angst/suspense in this chapter if you'd like.

 _infinite hope_ \- i'm really happy it still made an impact even though everyone knew it was coming lmao. and everything getting solved - working on it...

 _AnimeLover_ \- in layman's terms, i've done my job...and thank you. i consider that a compliment LOL

 _n kukuri chan_ \- service as in...church service? oh god no that's the worst place haha. and for the first point - i don't think they did, no. arthur had all his clothes on and alfred didn't - so i'd say he's more of a tosser/turner in bed HAHA. and i think alfred's in a very difficult position - i mean, with this revelation comes wi/ the fact that the person he loves has essentially kept secrets from him, so i don't think he'd be OK with it at the space of the moment. and for your third point - i would feel that alfred's a much more...impulsive person and would get hurt very easily, not thinking things through until much later. i'm not sure if many caught it, but by the time alfred didn't have much choice as matthew had already gone to yao - and he knew all of them would be condemned if something got out. for someone so inexperienced, i don't think he handled it too well. i hope this chapter clears up some things about the last one ;v;

* * *

 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	88. Anamnesis

oh um yesterday was my birthday woo

throws confetti

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

"Matthew." The advisor in the middle of the group said, turning to face him, their purple badge gleaming in the light. "Tell us first."

"What should I tell you?" Matthew said dully, blinking twice. He hadn't seen Gilbert since the trial – of _some_ sort, if you could call a biased, unfair procession a trial – had started, and he had been ushered to a small interrogation box completely alone.

He couldn't even catch Carlos' eye…

"Of course, what else are we here for today?" the advisor said, to sounds from laughs to murmurs all around the room. "Your forbidden affair with the Joker Gilbert, of course. You are a more reliable witness, so we see fit to interrogate you first and foremost."

Matthew clamped down on his tongue, carefully preventing himself to speak out of fury before he nodded once. "…I see."

"Well, let's get the ball rolling!" they exclaimed, pulling out a small sheet of notes. "We've compiled what we think's been going on in this relationship, judging from the latest record of such a traitorous relationship. First – your meeting?"

 _Latest record? You mean one that was almost a hundred years old and involved children. While it wasn't forbidden._ Matthew nodded slowly, determined to give them the most bare bone of details. "Do you mean to ask me when it happened?"

"Of course, of course, yes," they said, nodding almost impatiently. "Go on."

 _I'll give you as little as I want to,_ Matthew thought coldly as he began to reminiscence the first time he had felt his initial attraction of Gilbert simmer in his blood. _I…It's been a while since I remember the scene…_

* * *

 _The scene is set on the evening of Alfred and Matthew's sixteenth birthday – Alfred downstairs entertaining the guests while Matthew has chosen to momentarily keep away and spend time with himself._

 _Not for long, though…_

" _Why didn't the Fates_ give us more time with you, Mother, Father?" A slightly younger and newly anointed Ace of Spades Matthew leaned outside of the balcony near the west wing corridor, watching the night sky on the night of his joint birthday and coronation.

The King and Queen of Spades had perished only two months ago. The other three kingdoms – Hearts, Diamonds and Clubs allowed them a month of mourning before either Matthew or Alfred had to step up to the role of being a royal. Alfred, even when they were only kids, had secretly confessed to Matthew that he had wanted a Deciding from the moment he had heard of such a thing.

So naturally, Matthew had come to the office halfway through the month and asked him if he could be crowned as Ace, taking up the second required slot so that Alfred could wait until he was eighteen or nineteen, depending on the economical situation of Spades at the time, to have a Deciding.

Yao had thanked him and so had the rest of the kingdoms for making such a bold decision so quickly, but Matthew had felt numb when he was accepting the praise. There had been rulers younger than him, but sixteen was still relatively fast for a monarch to succeed a role.

Fortunately, Alfred still had time to find a queen, someone he could love through the Deciding. Matthew didn't have any stress at all to marry any time soon, even though there was the eventuality that he would marry within the social circles of nobility. He knew his parents would be proud, but sometimes it was quiet without his father's hearty laugh and his mother's jokes about her hair colour – a hazel brown, different to all three of theirs.

"Oh, that's where you went," a voice came from behind him, and Matthew whipped around – to see the Queen of Hearts Gilbert right behind him, a smile hanging off his lips. "Your brother was asking around the chocolate fountains."

"Y-Your Majesty," Matthew stammered, bowing quickly to the queen. "I'm sorry, I didn't think anyone would see me here…"

"Pfft, I'd like to think that I'm better than the nobles who sometimes forget you're in the room because of your brother being the prince," Queen Gilbert laughed, tucking his hands in his pockets. "Sorry, I know we've been acquainted with each other for a while but I didn't get to pop in and give you a Happy Birthday. Don't tell old Francis, yah?"

"…There's no issue about that, I really do appreciate it," Matthew said, pausing for a moment to remember what connection Gilbert and his old mentor Francis had had before suddenly remembering their close friendship. "And I don't think…I don't think my old mentor would necessarily take my word over his oldest and best friend."

In most tales that had spread around Cards, there was a pair – even a trio in most stories – that had arisen about the Queen and King of Hearts and Diamonds, Gilbert and Francis – having a very close friendship after meeting during a very tense political climate between their waging countries. Some stories extended this to a general serving in the Hearts, Antonio, but almost all stories focused on the fact that a war had been waged during a Deciding process, something that was borne out of desperation as Diamonds had gone hungry after a bitter winter.

Hearts at the time was holding a Deciding at the behest of their Queen as she wanted a father – or prince consort – for her newly borne infant Ludwig and his older brother Gilbert as their father had succumbed to pneumonia earlier that winter. Diamonds perceived this as the country flaunting their wealth, but soon came to regret waging war as Clubs and Spades, in a rare moment of unity, condemned the action and blockaded Diamonds. In the midst of this, the Ace of Diamonds, caring for the two year old heir Prince Francis, fled to Hearts, asking for protection.

Since Hearts at the time were flourishing but still the newest country and therefore without an advantage of a long standing ally, grudgingly agreed on the terms that they would not help fund the rebuilding of the Diamonds after the war had concluded. Gilbert and Francis, the heir to the Diamonds throne, were raised in close proximity and became friends above all current grudges held by the people of their opposing countries.

Of course, eventually Prince Francis went back to Diamonds the autumn of Ludwig's fifth birthday, but the stories have never stopped detailing how the pair (or trio) met up with each other at any opportunity Cards gave them, bolstering the concept of bonds between kingdoms.

"Well, if you count Antonio," Gilbert said. "It sucks that they leave him out because he's not a royal. But yeah, they're both my best friends. And he still thinks of you as his cute little liege."

"Fates, that's absolutely embarrassing," Matthew winced, but smiled all the same. "All the same though, I'm relieved the three of you have retained your friendship. But why seek _me_ out specifically?"

"Hmm? Oh. Because I know what it's like to be lonely sometimes," Gilbert said, looking out in front to the lavish Spades gardens that had not gone without some wear after the month of mourning. "Overshadowed by your siblings, forgotten by everyone else. I wasn't made king for a reason, you know. The moment Ludwig was born they said he was a better child. Stronger. More formidable. Not a scrawny runt like I was."

"Oh. I'm…I apologise," Matthew said, turning his gaze over to face Gilbert. Come to think of it, he wasn't as muscular as his brother Prince Ludwig was, and looked more slender than built. "But…hey, not everyone's just looking for strength."

Gilbert grinned, facing him at the same time. "Christ, kid, that makes me feel a lot better about myself. It's not about the beefcake, it's about what it would taste like, huh? Sausages, maybe."

"I wouldn't have imagined the Queen of Hearts to speak like this at all," Matthew admitted, snorting at the comment. "Me, I'm a more sweet tooth of a person, admittedly. Pancakes and maple syrup."

"I wouldn't have expected the ultra responsible Ace of Spades to be telling me all about his food preferences," Gilbert teased back, but nodded. "Hey, me too. Pancakes are the best, honestly. With a hint of salt from the butter, creamy, thick…Fates, _yes_."

"You _did_ worry me there for a second." Matthew said, laughing a little. "The first time I told Princess Lili that I preferred pancakes, she looked absolutely mortified. I asked her about what was wrong, and she admitted to me she liked waffles instead. I think Francis has painted a target on my back ever since."

"Yeah, well," Gilbert said, sighing a little. "Fran's a lot more protective of a father than I expected. Granted, it's not a bad thing after what happened to her mother with those stupid amplifiers, but…Lili's all he has left of Jeanne. It's hitting him hard. But it's pretty adorable how much they love each other."

"Of course!" Matthew exclaimed, looking back out into the night sky. "The way he was helping her up the steps today like she was three again reminded me she's only twelve, bless her soul. She'll be a queen at fourteen if she wants, but I'm not sure…she fits so well into the role. It makes me want to have children of my own."

"Kids, huh?" Gilbert said, letting his gaze linger on Matthew before looking away. "Those little bundles of joy. Who would you have them with, if you had the chance?"

"Me? I don't know yet, no," Matthew said softly, leaning on the banister. "I-I haven't thought of anyone in particular. Someone who's different from me, maybe. Someone who knows how to stop being uptight around children. A little more experienced, perhaps."

Gilbert's mouth parted as he looked at Matthew again, but he closed it, letting the moment last a little longer.

His violet eyes were almost luminescent in the darkness, lashes thick as they looked out into the gardens. His hands were empty, tucked underneath his arms against the banister, and he could see his hair lit up dimly by the light from the palace.

Dare he say it…the Ace was strangely beautiful.

* * *

"I see, I see. So nothing more than a cordial relationship when the Joker was still Queen of Hearts," the advisor said, scribbling down what little information Matthew would let himself give. "Fascinating."

Matthew pressed his lips together and nodded. There were so many things he wanted to mention from that night, but they would be only his and Gilbert's to share.

"All right, all right. First kiss?" the advisor said, continuing down their convoluted timeline.

Matthew gawked. "H-How does this have any part in solving the case, sir?"

"Very well," they said. "OK – what about first date? First separation? First state visit?"

"None of those are particularly relevant either." Matthew said frostily. "I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to provide you details of what I'm not comfortable to reveal about my private life."

"…very well, very well," the advisor said, their tone ruffled. "What _do_ you want to reveal to us that helps us get a general gist of your motivations behind this…treacherous union?"

"Since we're on the topic of _firsts_ , our first rejection," Matthew dead panned to gasps around the court.

"Curious that it happened," the advisor said, pushing back another piece of paper to reveal a blank sheet, their pen tapping against the table. "Go on."

* * *

 _It is the autumn of the year after Matthew and Alfred's sixteenth birthday, eight months after he and Queen-now-turned-Joker Gilbert have begun to see each other, romantically or not although Matthew both loathes and wishes it was the former. (It is_ _ **definitely**_ _romantic, in Gilbert's mind.)_

 _In Hearts, Prince Ludwig has narrowed down the process to five people – two boys and three girls – for his Deciding, and the atmosphere there is tense. Joker Gilbert – however still officially part of the Hearts royal family until his brother's Deciding has concluded - decides to embark on a state visit to Spades to give his brother space, and with that he has come to Spades to solidify their alliance…_

 _The sun is warm on seventeen year old Matthew's back as he runs down the steps leading to Gilbert's arms as he buries his face into the Joker's shoulder._

"Hey, Birdie," Gilbert laughed, his new nickname after the incident where Gilbert invited him to the Hearts menagerie and found all the birds enamoured with him. "I missed you too, you know. Things got a bit too hectic for a half Queen, half Joker, so I wanted to make a small stop here if that's fine?"

"Of course it's fine, I'm here," Matthew smiled, taking his hand. "The conditions in Hearts seem to be too hectic for even your otherwise level headed brother. I can't imagine the sort of pressure that's on his shoulders right now."

"Well, you're going to be me and Alfie's going to be him in what? Two years?" Gilbert said, leaning across the wall of the grand staircase, his eyes softened. "Hearts is always gonna be somewhere where you can go to before he starts whining about girl – no, boy – ugh, what gender is your brother into, again?"

"I'd think you'd better ask him," Matthew said, and the two of them walked into the Spades castle, slowly separating as to not rouse rumours about the two of them.

Usually, around other people, conversation about his brother ran rampant:

"Is it true that your brother plays the piano? I haven't had the chance to hear it from him yet – I want to see him do it in the Broadcast you have in your country, right? Right!" a noble had squealed next to him at a state visit one day, knocking back a flute of champagne while doing so.

Matthew's reply was that "I'm sorry, sir, _I'm_ the one who plays the piano…Prince Alfred – well, my brother - has an interest in the guitar…"

Similarly, one day he was going out on an excursion with Carlos and two guards, and caught the gossip of two ladies strolling down the street.

"Ahh, his dog is so cute! I saw him in the post again this week, along with Prince Alfred's brother taking him out for a stroll. What's its name, again?" one woman had said gaily.

"The dog? Hero, of course," the other said, sounding a little annoyed. "And you claim to be a fan of the prince…"

"…they're more interested in Alfred's dog than me," Matthew joked to Carlos, to which his friend snorted at as soon as the women were out of earshot. "Ouch."

And one particularly embarrassing incident where a foreign representative had come over and *boisterously greeted Alfred with a warm hug…

…just to have him forget Matthew's name…

So normally, yes, Matthew would be a little hurt by his comment. But the way Gilbert followed him around like a cocky puppy was nothing short of sweet, and he tried his best to fight off his smile as he eagerly watched Matthew turn a corner and follow him right off the bat.

But then, he fought that smile. He had to. Gilbert was to be a Joker. And as an Ace, he had a duty to uphold to the country, even though…

 _What about your own heart_? A small voice piped up inside of him, knocking at his ribcage as if it were a brick wall. _Don't you owe it something as well?_

"No," Matthew said out loud as his feet followed the cracked pebbles to the secret well stationed near the back to the west of the gardens, a set of staircases that led underground to the well. "I don't, not really. At least, not in this case…"

"Umm…Matthew, but we go here almost every time we _do_ meet," Gilbert said, standing at the door of the entrance. "What do you mean you're not sure where we're going?"

"Huh? Oh – oh, I was just talking to myself," Matthew said, pausing for a moment. "That's my fault, I'm sorry. I _do_ , Gil. It's all right, I made sure it was still lit for today before you contacted me over the port yesterday."

"Aww," Gilbert beamed, and Matthew could feel his hand interlace with his own. He paused for a heartbeat, but let his fingers wrap around his colder hand. "I knew you wouldn't forget about me."

"I couldn't if I tried," Matthew said softly, straightening his checkered waistcoat with his free hand.

The two of them didn't share words with each other again until they had reached the half dry well, fallen into disuse after the Virus and paranoia of it spreading through water that came from the large port that encircled the territory closest to the Hearts, the main source of the well's water. The palace changed to a small river during the epidemic, closer connected to the sea that encircled the right side of the less affected country of the Diamonds and closer to the castle.

As soon as Gilbert's well pressed boots landed on the jagged surface of the floor, Matthew had only moments to react before Gilbert's hands were touching him – at first it was shy and timid as his hand gently reached up to cup his face, but as the two of them grew bolder in only each other's company, it fell into kisses that were both light and sweet.

"Gilbert," Matthew sighed happily as Gilbert's lips covered his face, little laughs of joy rumbling in the Joker's chest as his hands reached to encircle Matthew's mid section.

 _I know I must tell him, but Fates…let me have this a little longer._

"Loosen up, Birdie," Gilbert sang, leaning a little lower to touch his nose to Matthew's. "We're alone now. There's nothing binding you anymore. You know you can be yourself around me."

The two of them sat at the worn lip of the well, shamelessly re-acquainting themselves with each other's softer points. Matthew's hand placed behind Gilbert to support the two of them while his other was put near his hip as Gilbert took 'all hands on deck' very literal and cupped Matthew's face in two hands, pressing kiss after kiss on the lightest of his freckles before touching his lips to Matthew's own with little dips of his chin, something that he found very cute.

"And – _hmm_ – I thought you were supposed to be the experienced one," Matthew panted between embraces. "You _have_ improved a lot, Gil. I'm – _nnh –_ proud…"

"Anything, heh, for you," Gilbert said, giggling against Matthew's mouth as his lover.

 _Or was it suitor? Crush? Admirer? Are there any words to describe what he truly means to me, in this moment?_

Whatever it was, Matthew was important to him, more so than his brother - however fun he was – would ever be to him. They had sat in his study after lonely nights, and it was almost as if he could sense his neglected mood after every state dinner, and would chat to Matthew until he felt better, whether the chat stopped at ten or two in the morning.

 _Gilbert…_

"I'm sorry I can't always see you, lovely," Gilbert murmured, drawing back to take a look at Matthew's face. "I've gotta look like a right mess every time I come over, and you're always so radiant…what am I gonna do? Bring a tie?"

"I…I'm sorry," Matthew mumbled, and got off the well and started pacing, his feet lightly touching the ground before he moved on.

"…Matthew? _Liebling_? What's wrong?" Gilbert said, his eyes alarmed as he cupped Matthew's elbow. "Did I…did I say something?"

"D-don't call me that…" Matthew whispered, flinching as soon as the pet name was whispered. It came from a foreign language, one that was only spoken in the small brewery packed regions of Hearts, one that had come from a now defunct country where the current Hearts royal family had descended. " _No_ , Gilbert. You…I…"

"Tell me," Gilbert insisted, using the tender voice he only used with Matthew, making him close his eyes. _Don't make this any harder for us than it has to be…_

"We can't see each other anymore," Matthew burst out, his lower lip wobbling as he said. "In a matter of what? Days? Weeks? Maybe a few _hours_ , when the Fates recognize your brother's choice for Jack and his partner, t-they'll make you a full Joker. And you know what they say about Joker and Ace relationships."

"…oh," Gilbert said, and Matthew could feel his whole body deflate – his eyes dulled and his shoulders drooped into a state of misery Matthew could barely watch without feeling absolutely _miserable_. "No, I…I'm sorry, as well. I shouldn't have kept with this courtship after the Fates found me as Joker. It's my fault for f- _forcing_ you into this relationship, I-"

"No!" Matthew shouted, and he turned to face Gilbert, his eyes flashing behind his glasses. "None of it was. From the moment of our kiss behind the stairwell when our brothers were having the birthday dance to when you surprised me at Christmas with those insanely large flowers…I loved you, then. I still…I _still_ do, even though I know what will happen if they find out. You never made me. I gave myself to you because I truly cared for you, and you did the same, Gil. S-So…this is why I want to stop it. Before anyone else gets hurt. Before I find out that I can't stop loving you, no matter h-how hard I try!"

"It hurts, as well," Gilbert said gingerly, reaching for Matthew's hand and pressing it against his chest. "When I'm away from you. If I have to leave you behind forever, forget the one person I love…I'd rather defy the Fates' wishes and not be a Joker."

"What?" Matthew gaped, his hand curling around the fabric of Gilbert's shirt. "That's – no, it's not possible. You can't endanger your _life_ for that…"

"What I meant is that, I love you too much," Gilbert said, smiling wanly. "If you were to separate us – I suppose it's fine if you're happy about it, but – would you really? If it would make you happy, I'd leave. Right now. You'd never see me again, if I can help it. But if there's just one corner of doubt in your heart…don't do it. For your sake. For ours."

Matthew's lips parted, and at that moment Gilbert moved forward, touching his mouth to his, striding to his side with two steps that felt so small yet infinite at the same time. It was desperate, but Matthew felt the love behind the simple movement.

He couldn't fight this. Not by himself. He couldn't reject the sense of _belonging,_ the absence of loneliness they both shared.

"I love you," Gilbert confessed, blushing a little – unfortunately it stood out on his incredibly pale skin, a sign of his Joker transition. "Queen or Joker, Ace or Prince, I love you because you're Matthew. Just…just let me keep on doing it if you feel the same, all right? If you don't…tell me before I make you do something you don't want to."

…but did he even want to?

Matthew's hand lowered to link with Gilbert's hand, releasing a shuddering breath that he was holding as he looked into the Joker-no, he looked into his beloved's eyes, fighting back a laugh as he embraced him again, tucking his chin on his shoulder.

"You know me too well," he said under his breath. "Promise me…we'll get through this together?"

"How else? The two of us barricading ourselves in each other's rooms while tapping out reassurances to each other? Matthew, I think not," Gilbert joked, but hugged him a little closer. "I'm always here for you, Birdie. When I'm done, your awesomeness won't have the word loneliness anymore. And I'll never be done."

"I love you…I love you too, Gil," Matthew said in a hushed voice, tilting his head just a slight so he could feel his scruffier, more unkempt hair clashing with his own. "You have me, and I have you. Whatever's going to come, we're facing it together…right?"

"On my honour," Gilbert beamed, and Matthew fought back a laugh on the way his head bobbed excitedly, letting his fears dissipate…even for a moment.

Standing next to him, next to the well, buried underground, he knew that he wouldn't truly feel loneliness like he used to.

* * *

"So your…courtship was initiated when the Joker was still Queen of Hearts, correct?" the advisor said, lifting their pen above the paper with a quizzical expression. "The two of you expressed concern about your relationship when it was discovered that the Fates had elected to choose a second Joker to accompany Joker Katya, who had been reinstated as the sole one. Do you have any knowledge why the Fates did this in particular?"

"I know as much as you do," Matthew said dimly, blinking twice to remind himself that this was reality again, that it was only his memories that were bringing him joy. "I do not know of the Fates' intentions during the period where Joker Gilbert began his transition from Queen to Joker."

 _I can't mention that you would cast the Fates out, and cast your Joker role out for me,_ he thought as he fiddled with the spade shaped cufflink on his clothes. _That…it meant the world to me, when you said that you would defy even the gods for our love._

 _That nothing would come between us._

 _And it will be tainted, like every other memory we shared, if they found out._

"The…Iron Cross," the advisor continued, "One that was seen frequently in Joker Gilbert's possession at public events…one day it just disappeared from his public photos, am I correct? Apparently, it now belongs to you. Yes or no?"

"It does," Matthew said. _How can they claim to be judges when even the things they say aren't in a fashion of a court_?

"Well, you know the drill," the advisor said, pen poised and ready to write. "Go on. Tell us how you obtained it."

Matthew gritted his teeth and soldiered on, filtering the moments from his memories that were his and only his to keep.

* * *

 _The land of Cards is lightly dusted with the snow of the winter for the Spades twins' coming of age. This year, there has been heavy snowfall in the Clubs, an unusually dry season for Diamonds, a light year for Spades and intervals of snow that cake the hills of Hearts._

 _Since the conclusion of the now King Ludwig's Deciding ending with the royal Jack Feliciano being inducted into the Primary Suit, the now Joker Gilbert has been elected into the Joker lifestyle completely, along with Joker Katya, elected previously. A battle for them during the Meeting at the Summer Solstice has meant that successful bids for Gilbert to return to Hearts, as Decidings are one of the top reasons to have extra protection, and for Katya to be under the pension of the Clubs as they have not had a Joker under their roof for five years in a row._

 _But there is something that Joker Gilbert left behind in Spades...someone he cannot forget…_

"No, I'm not going to plan with you, Alfred," Matthew sighed, folding his arms. "Lighten up, it's Christmas. I doubt that the advisors will let you run it this year anyway. Maybe next year?"

f"I don't know, I just…" an eighteen year Alfred said, straightening out his jacket. "Stuff, really. I was thinking, with the Hearts family visiting and all…"

"Look, I know you're nervous about Ludwig visiting and everything," Matthew said. "Just don't tell Feli about your _puppy crush_ you used to have on him, all right?"

"I-Wh-Wh-" Alfred spluttered, and Matthew snickered at his brother's fumbling, folding his arms in triumph.

 _But to be fair to him, he's not the only one who has a thing for a brother born in Hearts…_ he thought to himself, a smile tugging on his lips as he thought about how Gilbert would be making his way to Spades as well, given that it was a year after the Deciding and the council anointed him for another year to 'protect' Jack Feliciano.

"Come on, Matt, why do you remember even the littlest things?" Alfred groaned. "OK though, look – it was forever. Him and Feli are very cute. He's just my best friend. Don't say anything to him about it. Please?"

"I was just _teasing_ , dear brother," Matthew grinned, giving him a playful shove. "It's called payback. Anyway – that's the carriage, I think…"

* * *

 _Later – much, much later in Gilbert's bedroom, an Ace pets his miniature bear Kuma to sleep and tiptoes out of his room, abandoning his no nonsense slippers to make his way barefoot onto the marble._

 _The sting of the winter against the tiles makes him jerk, but his swift steps soon numb his feet to it and he is running, eyes darting for any sign of other people in the dimmed castle – but alas, there is no one to his elation._

 _Past the Prince of Spades' adjoining bedroom, skidding past the Jack of Spades' room where not even he is burning the midnight oil, up the freshly carpeted steps into the second floor, where he eases past the doors where he has made sure there is no guard standing duty tonight, scuttling across the oak that makes up the King and Jack of Hearts' shared room, all the way to the Joker's, where he pries it open…_

 _And blissfully cradles him as Joker Gilbert falls into his arms, like their hearts have promised the other time and time again._

"The state dinner took too long, didn't it?" Gilbert moaned as the pair gently closed the door and embraced each other. "Fates, if we had stared at each other longer, Ludwig would have punched me."

"Your brother isn't that cruel," Matthew chided, holding his beloved tighter. "Both my brother and I find him in good favour."

"Aww, and I thought _I_ was your favourite Beilschmidt brother," Gilbert complained, his lips flattening into a pout that reminded Matthew of a duck that came to rest in the ponds during the spring. "Lud's already married, come on…"

"Is that you accusing me of being unfaithful, by chance?" Matthew whispered in his ear flirtatiously. "How ironic that the famed Joker playboy is chastising me for being friendly while papers mount gossip about his questionable relations with _both_ – oh my, _both!_ – the Queen and Jack of Clubs…"

"You know Liz likes to take this kind of vengeance when I'm anywhere near her husband," Gilbert wailed, burying his face in Matthew's shoulder. "Now I'm being bullied by the one I really love…"

"Hush, let me have my fun," Matthew purred, cupping Gilbert's pale face in his own. "I missed you too, lover boy."

"Only if I'm _yours_ ," Gilbert sang, sticking out his tongue. "And now I gotta give you a kiss."

"Duchess, we are absolutely disgusting," Matthew said, making a wisecrack. "Come here, you."

"Don't need to ask me twice," Gilbert beamed, holding Matthew so close that their noses scrunched together, their lips smushing together in a messy mix of tongues and saliva (oh, no) and Matthew shut his eyes reflexively because he was just so close…

But it was so perfect in their own way that Matthew couldn't help but smile, wrapping his arms around Gilbert's neck as the other tilted his head a little higher, letting the two of them relax for a little longer in each other's presence.

After they parted from each other, Matthew's hand lingered on Gilbert's, and there was a strange atmosphere simmering between them. Something…a little stronger than love, but not exactly…

 _I know our relationship is the exact opposite of this, but…I feel so safe around you. So secure._

Matthew's mouth parted again as Gilbert attached his lips to his throat, moving them in an action that was not quite kissing but something more sensual – akin to suckling as he held an extremely embarrassed Matthew closer to him.

"G-Gil…!" Matthew gasped, his hands instantly going to the back of his head, tickling the silver hairs that were there as if to try to quell his own goosebumps. "Wait, I…no, we can't-"

Apparently, that sent off a landmine that sent Gilbert shooting back two metres to back up against the bed and elicited twelve 'sorry! I'm sorry!' in a row, complete with a relatively terrified expression.

"…Gil? What's wrong?" Matthew said, frozen to the spot and still wondering how on _earth_ he managed to scuttle away so quickly. "Was it something I did-"

"You didn't like it!" Gilbert said, his voice nervous. "I didn't want to hurt you…"

"What? No, I…it was just a bit unexpected, that's all…but," Matthew said, cautiously walking towards Gilbert and letting himself relax with every other step. "Were you thinking about s-"

"Yes, yes, yes I was, don't be mad," Gilbert blurted, embarrassed. "I-I…it's been quite a while since we've started dating, and I thought you might like it….don't be mad, OK…"

"How could I get mad at you wanting to do something for…for me?" Matthew laughed, rubbing the small on his neck in bashfulness. "Well…have you gone to the Fates in Hearts, then? Because you know our bodies don't naturally let us have children."

"O-Of course not," Gilbert said, his blush standing out fiercely against his skin, "I didn't know if you'd like the idea, and it's Christmas so it might be freezing if we're freaking _naked_ , you know, and it's not like I'm very good and everything and you know me, I get really embarrassed talking about, uh, for-ni-cation but I thought you'd like it! I'll do my best for you so I was just offering, you don't have to say no-"

"What if, what if…" Matthew said, looking from underneath his lashes, the sight titillating as he caught hold of a corner of Gilbert's dress shirt. "I _didn_ 't want to say no?"

Gilbert swallowed, the sound echoing throughout his room like a drop of water falling into a pool. "I…I…I'm not that experienced…"

"I don't think it really matters," Matthew said, smiling a little. "If I wanted to, though…I think I would want to do it with you first."

"I'm glad," Gilbert said, returning the smile. "If…if you wouldn't mind…"

 _Oh Fates how the fuck do I tell him I'm a virgin what the hell he just sprung this on me but he's so cute…I can't say no to that face. I knew it would come eventually, but since we're Ace and Joker and kids are a big no no I didn't know it would be so soon..._ Matthew panicked internally as he slowly began to unbutton his lover's shirt.

 _But it's with him…and I know he won't hurt me. Above all, I trust him._

"A…Arms up," Matthew mumbled, and the moment Gilbert's shirt came off the two of them met for a kiss, holding each other as if nothing else in the world mattered when the two of them were together.

Maybe that was just how the way things were.

* * *

 _With daybreak brings sunlight…_

 _And birds chirping that disturb a certain pair of lovers.**_

Matthew's violet eyes blinked slowly, raising his head from where it was lying on Gilbert's slightly sweaty chest, his eyes laden with fatigue.

He pressed his lips together, stained with morning breath and the taste of Gilbert's skin, and observed the view.

Gilbert looked almost at peace, with the blankets tossed haphazardly over the two of them after their…well, tiring night, his tousled hair being transformed into bedhead and his Iron Cross rising and falling as he breathed…

 _Fates, now I can see how I fell in love,_ Matthew chuckled to himself as he brushed his fingers against his lover's temple affectionately, almost like the pats he knew Gilbert loved. _Maybe we could never wake up, and I could freeze and live in this moment in my memory forever-_

"G-Good morning," Gilbert croaked out, his throat dry and exhausted from last night. "Hey, Birdie, you're up early today."

"Good morning, sunshine," Matthew murmured, the sheets sliding from his shoulders as he rose to kiss him. "Are you OK after last night?"

"Aww yeah," Gilbert said, a shit eating grin plastered onto his face. "I got laid. With the most awesomest person in all of Cards, I gotta add!"

"Most and 'awesomest' cancel each other out

* * *

, lover boy," Matthew teased. "It wasn't anything I've ever felt before, Gilbert. And I…that means a lot to me."

Gilbert propped himself up on one elbow, winding his fingers in Matthew's soft hair. "It's my pleasure. Heh. Geddit?"

"I can't believe you," Matthew groaned melodramatically, his face softening from Gilbert's close presence as it always did. "First you tell me you want us to have sex, then you act like a complete dork…"

"Don't act like you don't love it," Gilbert sang, but paused for a moment before sitting against the bed frame. "Hey, wait. Hold still for a moment, handsome."

Matthew scoffed, but watched with surprise as Gilbert undid his Iron Cross, the little silver balls catching the sunrise as he draped it over Matthew's neck, the charm feeling a little cold on his bare chest.

"Keep it, yeah," Gilbert murmured, shifting a little behind and admiring his work. "Duchess, you look hot. But it's more than that, honestly."

"I-I can't accept this…!" Matthew gasped, taking it in his fingers. "It's wonderful, Gil, but it's been in your family since-"

"They've forged hundreds over the years," Gilbert said brightly, nodding enthusiastically. "Look - my brother gave it to someone – Feliciano – that he might not have been with, because we Beilschmidts believe in love above all. And I know that I love you. My bad, Matthew. I should have given it to you sooner, that day by the well…"

"No, it's…oh, it's the most wonderful gift," Matthew breathed, feeling that it was a piece of Gilbert that he had with him all the time – protecting him and being by his side when he himself could not. "I don't know how to repay you."

"Just…keep being yourself and feeling the same things for me like you do now, because I love you for _you_ ," Gilbert said, grinning. "Hey. I know it's cheesy, because I mean it."

"You know I love you, you dolt," Matthew said, the words slipping out as naturally as the breaths he took. "And I don't think I'll stop anytime soon."

* * *

Matthew let out a breath that he realized he hadn't been holding as he told the thinly disguised story.

He had said that Gilbert had given him the Iron Cross in a gift box in a secret meeting…

He had to lie. No one knew what had truly happened the night Gilbert had given him his Cross, and no one except the two would know – they had agreed on this fact the morning after.

The backlash that he would receive, the paranoia that would rise up in the hearts of the people once they found out that Gilbert and Matthew have had sex, a word that Gilbert was still too shy to pronounce…

Even though that there had literally been no chance of conceiving on either end, they would take it. They would argue that they were trying to have a child by making love that night, and…and…

"Thank you, Ace Matthew," the advisor said, jolting him out of his tightened reverie. "Please give the c – the advisors of Spades to discuss what you have told us. We thank you for your time."

Matthew didn't say anything. He just slipped off his chair and walked outside into the hallway, waiting for any sort of sounds or actions that would suggest human behaviour.

Then he broke down.

* * *

*mentioned in chapter forty…again lmao

**this has literally nothing to do with romeo and juliet. the reason i put this disclaimer is a friend who i asked for a touch of inspiration linked me to the dicaprio film and said it reminded her exactly of it…

* * *

 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	89. Vulnerary

_SO_ i did a little vignette this week that i'm quite proud of (shocker), it's called **bloom** and you can find it on my profile :)

shameless plug aside, our favourite tsundere returns.

* * *

 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

Alfred's shoes echoed off the marble of the Spades palace as he made his way through the empty corridors, one hand on his clock.

They would start interrogating Gilbert at six pm, and he had to be there to watch.

The reason he was staying wasn't because of the orders they had been assigned, rather, he wanted to protect Matthew from all the accusations that they would level at Gilbert. He wanted to give him some reassurance that at least he and Yao, two of the most powerful people in Spades with several Primary Suit allies all over the continent, were firmly on his side.

Even though the palace was on lockdown because of his brother's impromptu trial, it felt like everything was muffling his senses around him.

First his brother's predicament, then his friend's, Yao's terror for him, and Arthur-

His chest crumpled at the thought of him, and he broke into a run as if he could outrun his memories of the boy he loved.

 _I put you in that room for Fates knows why,_ he thought to himself, shuttering his eyes. _But I know what it was._

 _It was a pathetic excuse of a way I tried to protect you from what I knew would be dangerous._

Alfred paused at the hallway where he had gone through so many times – and all those memories flooded through his head.

The many 'goodnights' he and Arthur had shared. Taking Arthur back to his room after another walk in the gardens. Where he'd say goodbye to Arthur with the unspoken promise of _I'll see you tomorrow._

But now, Alfred didn't even know if it was possible.

Did Arthur even want to see his face…?

He could see the light underneath the door as he gingerly approached it, and he straightened his tie for a moment before quickly tucking his hands into his pockets and pausing as he heard the door creak.

Half of him _begged_ for it to be Arthur, with his iridescent green eyes, furrowed thick eyebrows and teasing smirk, his hands soft as he entwined them with Alfred's. But on the other hand, it was terror – that Arthur would be filled with hatred, apprehension, fear – that he could never go back to how they were before. How Arthur couldn't stand his behaviour to the point where he couldn't love him anymore.

To his surprise though, it was his maid, Anna, adjusting her skirt for a moment before closing her door. She took three steps into his general direction and gave a start as soon as she saw his figure at the end of the hallway.

"Y-Your Highness," she said, but her voice was subdued as she bowed once. "I did not expect to find you here."

"Miss Anna, I'm…I'm sorry for scaring you," he began awkwardly. "Uh-"

"Pardon me, my prince," she said wanly, tilting her head to the direction of Arthur's room. "I'm _not_ the one you should be apologizing to."

Alfred flinched at that, and Anna caught his gaze with a gradual tilt of her head, the brown in her bold gaze catching the bright light streaming in from the windows. At this point, she surely must have known the consequences of saying these things to a royal, but Alfred knew he needed to hear them himself.

"Your Highness, I do not know what's happened between you from the time where the two of you were in his room to now. But he's absolutely distraught. He hasn't left his bed to do anything except shower and relieve himself. I've had to coax him to eat and drink, but never mind that. That's all my duty. If…" she said, and took a staggered breath that told volumes about how _close_ she was to unleashing a fury of emotion against him; "If you have even an ounce of humanity in you, I'd suggest you go see him."

"Miss Anna, I…" he mumbled, but she had already began to pick herself up and seemed to be moving on.

"That is, Your Highness, your choice." she said quietly. "If you choose to banish me from the castle on the grounds that it is not my place to speak, I will comply. However...you have been a good prince, not just to my liege but also to your people. I trust you to make the right choice."

"Sometimes I don't think I deserve that trust," Alfred said, twisting his fingers in between each other, but the movement was far from fluid, feeling more like rocks grinding against each other. "I'm not experienced in these things, Miss Anna. I didn't know what I was doing – and even if I did think what I was doing was going to help him, I was wrong. And what you've told me about Sir Arthur's only made me face what I have to. And for that…I thank you."

Her expression relaxed somewhat, but her fingers darted out and clutched his in a tight grip, looking straight into his – Alfred appreciated her fearlessness in that moment.

From a young age, people told him things that were sugar coated and soft to protect him from criticism, but mostly to curry favour with the royalty and his parents. As he grew more prominent to his role, he was given barbs and jabs from the advisors to how to doubt himself – but someone unbiased like Anna giving him the blunt truth was nothing short of what he needed right now.

"I can see it in your eyes, but if you really want to apologise," she said firmly, gesturing to Arthur's door once more. "Make it right. If you want to make things better, you have to learn from your mistakes. Some things you have to learn the hard way."

With that, Alfred nodded solemnly, tucking the words into his soul before bidding her a farewell – however, she caught his gaze with a shift in motion. Anna looked almost… _panicked_ , compared to her earlier stance.

"If…if you're too late, Your Highness, you can't change his mind." she said, and the grip on his hands tightened. "...that's all I can tell you. I can sense what he's about to do, but…"

And with that, she was gone, leaving Alfred stunned and alone in the hallway. He continued onto his trip that was only a few footsteps but felt like an eternity to him.

He paused in front of the creamy painted door, his fist trembling as it rose to knock it. Alfred was about to, but a sound from behind it made him jump.

It was the sound of tears.

* * *

Anna had just left the room a few moments ago, citing that she had to go to get him some new towels. She had been nothing but kind to him from the first days he had been here, but it didn't feel as if things were all right as he was left back by himself.

The empty, hollow hours after Alfred had found out about Matthew, Gilbert and the secret that the three of them had been keeping from him had been filled with nothing but despair.

He had ruined it.

Alfred might as well have said that it was over between the two of them. With all the things he pointed about their love affair over the duration of it. Comparing it to Gilbert and Matthew's relationship, it…

 _Eight months, Arthur. And we have so many things between us._

Arthur's stomach clenched, and his hand traced the wall next to the bathroom, unsteadily following it until he collapsed against the door, burying his face into his arms.

"I shouldn't have lied to you," he said thickly, shutting his eyes tightly as if he could black out everything that was happening right now. "Right after the New Year, when you told me that you loved me, I should have told you. I promised you that you could trust – you could _trust_ me above all, but now I've gone and _fucked it up_ and…and-"

The lump in his throat got too large for him to breathe with and he released the strangled vibration into his skin, the sound wilting like the roses in the gardens, the same ones he and Alfred used to walk amongst. When they were still happy together.

 _I have to leave._

The thought sparked so quickly in his mind that it shocked him, and Arthur lifted his gaze from the blue carpet that covered the ground.

The last time it had happened, he wanted to let Alfred make his choice faster – but now looking back at it, it was stupid. Even though in his inexperienced mind, he could subconsciously tell that Alfred loved him, and he knew he himself wouldn't let go of their love for a very long time. At the time, the two of them still doubted each other…

"Nothing gold can stay," Arthur whispered to himself, looking at the watch on his bedside table. That meant so many things – the watch, the ring that Alfred had said he had made just for him, the palace, Alfred's hair catching the sunlight, Alfred's tan skin, Alfred himself, the golden boy of Cards.

His smell still lingered on his pillowcase; it still warmed him on the days he wore his bomber jacket, Arthur still felt himself subconsciously wanting his touch on the quietest of days.

But lying to him was something that he knew Alfred couldn't forget. He knew the two of them trusted each other from the bottom of their hearts, and Alfred had taken his masks off and was himself with Arthur, but Arthur had taken that trust and shattered it into pieces the moments he kept silent about the affair.

Even if Arthur knew he loved Alfred, that didn't matter when Alfred didn't love him any more – and Arthur couldn't blame him. To have faced so much pain from the people in his life that were supposed to protect him, from losing his parents to the pressure of being a prince, it must have been relieving for him to finally get to do something for himself, not for the sake of others. Arthur had been ecstatic about the possibility that Alfred could have found happiness with him, but-

Arthur had torn his happiness to _pieces_ , and he deserved what was coming to him.

…even if it meant losing Alfred's love, which he knew he already had.

Arthur curled in on himself again, almost as if he were crumbling underneath the weight of his guilt, and it was a moment before he picked up on the footsteps outside his door. It was only a matter of thudding, skittering heartbeats to recognize that it was Alfred's shoes tapping on the floor.

* * *

Embarrassingly enough, the simple idea that he was here set Arthur into tears. What was he going to do? Execute him? Punish him? Whip him? His shaking legs barely could support himself as fear wracked his body.

 _I know you can come inside if you want,_ Arthur sobbed into his hands, almost as if he could feel Alfred's fingers closing against his doorknob. _You can just open the door, if you wished. And you'll know I'll open it for you. I can't run forever, especially not from you._

Instead of his doorknob opening, he heard two knocks on the door – small but reverberating around his room. Arthur waited with baited breath for Alfred to open the door, but he never forced it open.

"Arthur," Alfred began, his voice trembling, and Arthur bit his lip at how his voice cracked on his name. "A-Arthur, it's me."

"…" Arthur remained silent, but in his mind he was saying so many things.

 _Are you all right? Are Gilbert and Matthew all right? Did the advisors hurt you? I'm so, so, sorry for not telling you the truth, even though I promised you the night I came back from Hearts. Can you – can you ever forgive me?_

 _I love you._

"Please, I need to see you," Alfred continued, and Arthur made a noise that sounded more like a sob than anything. "I…I knew what I did was wrong. Will you – _can_ you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

 _I don't deserve you,_ Arthur thought internally as every cell in his body howled for Alfred's touch, his voice, his smile. _You locking me in a room because you wanted to protect me from the backlash is nothing compared to what I've done to you these past few days._

"Arthur…let me change," Alfred said, his voice thick, and Arthur pressed his lips against his shaking fist to muffle his cries as he got to his feet. "I messed up. I can't take back the things I said to you, but I can prove it to you that – that-"

Arthur gingerly opened the doorknob, and his knees almost gave way as he saw Alfred's anguished face beyond that door, his blue eyes filled with a sadness Arthur knew he had inflicted upon him, and it felt like a spear in his heart the moment Alfred's face softened when he saw him.

"…Arthur," he murmured, and Arthur broke at the sight of him, feeling himself sway but Alfred had supported him in an instant, arms cupped around his waist and pulling him close, their eyes meeting for a moment. He felt his eyes watering merely at Alfred's scent, and he had no choice but to turn away for a moment, feeling the guilt in his chest breathe with him. "Please, can we talk?"

Arthur watched him, the way his arms were uncertain around his own like they had never used to be before, the way his eyes pleaded. He could see the damage he had caused in one person alone; what had happened outside…?

"Alfred…" Arthur said, not trusting his body to not turn himself into something else entirely. He placed his hands gently against his chest, maintaining a distance between them, but there was nothing forceful about it. "What…what happened?"

"They hurt Gilbert," Alfred said flatly. "When we told Yao, an advisor was in the room and he refused to leave. Everything came out into the open that night. From there it snowballed, and now…now Matthew's being interrogated by the advisorship on how they came to be. Whatever pathetic attempt I tried in making this better hasn't done anything for anyone."

"Have you come to warn me of something…?" Arthur said, almost immediately regretting the words with the spark of hurt that alighted in Alfred's eyes.

"Do you think I would?" Alfred said, his dog tags swinging as he lifted Arthur's hands from his body, but as soon as his hands lost his warmth, Arthur's heart ached at how gentle the movement was, saying more things than their words could ever express between them. "You know why I _can't,_ Arthur. They'd have to go through me if they wanted to hurt you."

"Don't," Arthur whispered, and he was there again, his fingers touching Alfred's face, tracing over the tan skin, hoping it would quell his thrumming heart. "After the caning, I know I'd never forgive myself for what I did to you. And for that reason, you know you shouldn't be letting yourself settle for someone like me. I betrayed your trust. I should have told you the moment I knew I was going to Hearts."

Alfred's lips parted to speak, but Arthur had shut his eyes and already committed himself to saying the most torturous words he could force out of his throat after these arduous, confusing months of getting to know the person he knew he was irrevocably in love with.

"That's why you should let me go."

"...what?" Alfred exclaimed in stark shock, but Arthur pushed on, desperately wishing Alfred didn't look at him because he would collapse, give way to what his selfish emotions were demanding of him now.

"L-Let me go," Arthur repeated, the unwilling words filling out the emptiness of the room. "You shouldn't be committing yourself to someone who you know you can't trust. Y-You know Alfonso and Emma and you can trust them wholeheartedly."

"What are you saying?" Alfred's voice was hushed, and it felt like yet another dagger was being driven into Arthur's heart, twisting until it was embedded into the deepest crevice. "Are you-"

"I can't stay!" Arthur wept, and turned to face him, closing his eyes and let himself cry the moment he felt Alfred's warmth encompass his tired, _tired_ being. "You don't deserve someone like me. Even though I had a duty to them, I had a duty to you, first and foremost, from the moment we had our first kiss. And I've ruined that."

"You never wanted to hurt me," Alfred said mutely, and let his fingers gingerly touch Arthur's blond hair. "I've heard what my brother's said, and Gilbert as well. I believe them. You didn't tell me just so you could protect them. And even though it hurt, I know you had noble intentions. So I think we can talk it out instead of needlessly punishing yourself."

"But I hurt you," Arthur said, but he allowed his body to lean into Alfred's a little more. "And I can't forget that."

"Who's to say I didn't do the same to you? That day when I locked you in here," Alfred said gently, and Arthur felt himself give in to the tenderness behind those words. "I wasn't thinking straight, but it still doesn't excuse what I did. Your maid – Miss Anna – said if I were to really apologise, I'd learn from what I did. And I want to…but I can't do it alone."

"I asked to leave, once," Arthur said, hesitating before he continued. "After the caning. But now so many things have changed, and I don't want you to regret your decision. I – I don't want _both_ of us to regret it."

"Arthur, you know it's never been about the process," Alfred admitted, his tone shy as he said it. "It's always been about you. I want you – I want us to have as much time to heal as we can. Together. If you can start forgiving me…"

"I'm at fault as well," Arthur said, and after a moment of silence that was neither longer muffling nor terrifying he took Alfred's hand, the beginnings of a smile on his face. "…thank you for giving me a chance. For giving us a chance."

"I'm young, Arthur, and I'm far from perfect," Alfred said solemnly, but Arthur couldn't help the burst of hope blossoming in his chest like a bouquet of flowers as he lifted their joined hands to his warm mouth like he used to. "I want to grow with you, as people and as a pair of lovers."

Arthur, keeping their hands entwined, pulled Alfred to his bedside table where he cupped the clock Alfred had gifted him in his hand, and held it out to him, his eyes trusting.

"…can you help me put this on?" Arthur said, his voice shaking as he slowly turned around, exposing his nape. "If…if that's fine."

"Of course," Alfred murmured, and unclasped the pearl holding the chain together. It was cold against Arthur's skin, but his eyes softened at how beautiful Arthur looked wearing it.

Maybe…just maybe, the two of them could heal not only themselves, but the wounded spirit of the Spades palace after they solved this problem together.

Arthur lifted his arms and pulled Alfred into a hug – nothing too overtly romantic nor affectionate, but it was a reassurance. To tell Alfred that he was there. Not only with him, but _for_ him. Alfred let out a choked sigh of relief, and held Arthur tighter, thanking the Fates that he still got to smell his earthy scent and feel his hands against his skin.

Then a small _tick, tock_ resonated against his chest, a movement so unexpected that the two of them parted from their embrace.

"…Alfred?" Arthur asked, tilting his head. "It's coming from your ch – no, not your dog tags, your _clock_ …is something wrong?"

Alfred's fingers scrabbled for it immediately, brushing away his dog tags and peering at the interface – the hands ticked six on the dot and all the warmth rushed away from his veins.

"Gilbert's trial," Alfred said, tucking the clock into his breastpocket. "Arthur, I…I don't want to leave you. But I have to be there for Matthew. Please, for safety's sake, don't leave the room. I don't know what's coming, but it's not good."

"How do I know _you're_ going to be all right – and Emma and Alfonso?" Arthur said urgently, following him to the door. "I can't have you getting hurt…!"

"It's because I know I have something to fight for," Alfred said gravely, pausing hesitantly before kissing Arthur's forehead, a minuscule moment that spoke volumes about how desperate he was to try to fix the situation. "Emma and Alfonso are in their rooms as well, I've requested for them to do the same. But you know why I can't have them hurting you in particular."

"Come back safe," Arthur said, and cupped his face for one, tortured moment before Alfred reluctantly moved away and Arthur watched as he moved downstairs to Fates knows _what_.

 _I'm such a coward,_ Arthur thought as he curled back against the door, his head tilting back and pressing against it. _I couldn't say 'I love you', even with the threat of danger looming over our heads…_

 _I hope you know, Alfred. Because after all that, I…_

 _I still do._

* * *

Matthew's eyes were swollen as Alfred ran into the room and quickly took a seat, and he faced his brother as soon as he sat down.

"Alfred," Matthew said weakly, and closed his eyes as if he could shut out the chatter of the advisors and the thrum of the room. "I'm so tired."

"…" Alfred turned to him, and Yao sitting to Matthew's right, his hand holding his liege's own. There was so much to say, but he felt that he couldn't when they were going to-

"There he is!" someone in the audience cried, and everyone turned to face the front, where a beaten up, emaciated Joker staggered to the stand, his eyes hollow but searching – and there was no doubt in anyone's head who he was searching for.

Alfred heard Matthew audibly sob, and took his brother's other hand in his own, feeling shell shocked as his friend weakly helped himself into his seat.

Could he – _anyone_ heal from this?

* * *

i'm really sorry - it completely slipped my mind last week to do replies, so i've worked extra hard on them this week! they'll be up by monday. :D

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 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


	90. Jolt

that feeling when it's 12am but you drank tea so you feel OK, oops

footnote:i've had the important videos playlist à la youtube since10:39pm

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 **as always, i do not own the selection nor hetalia. these belong to kiera cass and himaruya hidekaz respectively.**

* * *

Gilbert's eyelids flickered twice as soon as he was met with the harsh light of the room, but as soon as he realized exactly where he was, his eyes flew open almost instantaneously.

How pathetic was he in this moment? A royal, with friends and related to a King of Hearts, severed completely from his place in the world. At least, it seemed that the punishment had sated them for a while. Even though it was excruciating to the point where he knew that he'd never forget it, he desperately hoped that Matthew would be unscathed.

His bloodshot eyes – matching his own albino eye colour, funnily enough – scanned the audience, not caring where his feet rested as he all but collapsed onto the hard wood of the chair. Gilbert craned his neck, trying to see if he could catch a glimpse of violet eyes, but three rings of a bell made him droop and attempt to face forward.

They were saying something about order, keeping the crowd down, but Gilbert could only hang his head, and nod stagnantly when he was called to. The throbbing pain in his ankle was too much, and he could feel his open wounds all over his body, wincing every time they brushed against his jacke-

In that moment, barely magic in his mind, his eyes latched onto a pair of violet eyes. Excited, he leaned forward to only realize that it belonged to another person sitting seamlessly in the stands, their expression without much nuance. But it had awakened a feeble light in his head.

The advisors continued to drone out something he couldn't make out as he screened the vast room, mirrors reaching to the ceiling and all, for a pair of lavish violet eyes tucked behind round glasses and black frames.

Gilbert felt as if he was completely disconnected from the hour or mess of seconds he took to find Matthew's face. He knew somewhere, in the back of his mind, his brother would be distraught. Fran would be trying to get to Jack Yao. Toni would be pressing the Primary Suit for questions if they could answer. People would be coming for the advisors of this country, but not before they had their little flirt with power. Gilbert knew he and Matthew were being played as pawns, and he wanted himself to be the card crumpled up at the end of a frustrating play, not him.

He blinked his tired eyes, partially bloodshot to match his pupils, before they gravitated towards Matthew sitting, his expression distressed in the front seats, his hands turning tensely around in his lap and his gaze fixed firmly on Gilbert's chair, making him feel very small. He couldn't say something, but what could he do to reassure him?

Matthew paused, his fingers disappearing into his blue waistcoat and past his shirt as he fished out the Iron Cross, bringing a crooked half smile to Gilbert's lips. The outline of the Cross glinted against the fading sunlight - as it did that fateful morning - whilst Matthew pressed it to his lips, the action speaking more than they ever could exchange in that moment.

 _Touch it anytime you need it, and you're gonna remember I'm always there, hanging on your neck,_ Gilbert had told him in a tender moment that seemed a thousand nights away.

Now, the touch represented despair. It described the grueling times that they were going through right now.

But they also meant hope.

 _I would defy even the gods for our love…_

Gilbert swallowed, and raised his trembling hand to his lips, pressing his ring finger for the promise ring he had to leave in Diamonds to affirm the message, to try to bring some semblance of comfort to Matthew despite his crumpled appearance.

Then the advisors called him to the stand – _tch, as if he wasn't forcefully dragged there already_ – and he stood there, not a man, nor someone complete, but a broken Joker.

* * *

"And you have significant ties to the Kingdom of Hearts, is that correct?" the advisor asked, their pen tapping on the surface of their desk like it had been with Matthew.

Gilbert said something that was almost unintelligible in the din, and the advisor prompted him for another answer that led to him choking out a _yes_ , to which the advisor pressed him about individual members.

 _Right. Are you not kin with King Ludwig in Hearts? Yes, if you are you surely must know what sort of reputation one holds with someone of that stature. If you were to corrupt the law, you surely would know that this has the potential to ruin his reputation as well as the others in Hearts as you used to be the Queen of Hearts as well. What do you think about the newly elected monarch?_

 _Did I hear that right? Did you say that you believed the new Queen to be more competent than you are now? Well, perhaps that Queen Kiku hasn't breached the law in such a manner as you have, leading to you sitting here in disgrace today, we as a collective should be spurred on to agree with your opinion. Even though he is new, this means that this brings a new face in Cards politics, one which will hopefully reform the continent. Nevertheless, we are getting ahead of ourselves. We must continue with the next issue._

The words were obviously cutting for Gilbert as his answers got quieter and shorter, but to Matthew they felt like flames lapping against his ribcage as his spirit seemed to break with each goading question he was forced to answer. As the rambling got longer and the answers shrunk to a few monosyllables per question, Matthew felt as if the room was weighing heavily on Gilbert's shoulders alone.

The two of them had had this argument before. Of how he wasn't going to let Gilbert take all the blame for their relationship. And it wasn't like he was blaming himself, falsifying that he had forced Matthew into a relationship, because even a cocky idiot like him knew that it was possibly one of the worst lies one could conceivably tell.

Alfred knew, Yao knew. Anyone remotely close to Gilbert – Francis, his friend General Antonio, King Ludwig, Jack Feliciano, Ace Lovino, possibly even Queen Lili and Jack Vash from his servitude in the Diamonds – not to mention Joker Katya. All of them could give a concept of Gilbert's nature, and that was not to force love, like all the things Francis had told him during the training in his kingdom. Even if Gilbert tried to condone himself, Matthew simply wouldn't let him. He'd make Alfred stop time, even.

The small gesture that the two of them had exchanged when they were first reunited, although through a small window that felt as thick as the pancakes that the two of them had bonded over, meant the world. That Gilbert still hadn't given up. That he was still somehow, inside that tortured, maimed body of his, striving to do something other than survive. And it was that cold flame that Matthew had fallen so seamlessly for.

And now they were going to do their best to destroy it, for any semblance of power that they longed for.

Matthew kept his eyes locked onto Gilbert's throughout the whole fiasco, desperately hoping it could bring some sort of peace to him even as his hands trembled and his heart thrummed underneath his pallid skin.

* * *

They had come to a decision.

After a whole day of contemplation, grilling and general horror towards the accused that Yao had not experienced in Spades for years, a group of five to six advisors were standing in front of the first stand, their purple badges proudly pinned to their lapels. Naturally, this marked the fact that they were the highest band of advisorship in the castle.

Did this mean they were the ones that abused Alfred…?

A surge of nausea rose up his throat, and he pinched his nose and took two breaths to fight his instincts. He had to be strong for the boys – they both needed him at their most vulnerable moment.

"The kind of scene that had been laid out for us today, ladies and gentlemen," an advisor said, her hair pulled back into a bun and her expression serious. "has showcased a serious problem put in the continent of Cards, evidenced by a highly illicit affair. If we do not secure an affidavit or a confirmation that it will not become the horrendous affair that ravaged the continent before this type of relationship will become outlawed. We will be sure to spread the word of their punishment around Cards to make sure that the other kingdoms know and learn from this infraction."

 _It's more than just 'an infraction',_ Yao thought bitterly to himself as Matthew curled against his side, lips pressed together so tight that they were paling. _You forget that we're dealing with lives, not just monarchs._

 _Moreover, who's to not say that you are to be at blame for something as well? You've hurt the next King of Spades – not to mention my own liege. When this blows over, you'll have hell to pay._

 _And I'll be the one making you._

"However, as both testimonies have…to a degree, sustained the fact that there has not been any lasting damage as a result, we are _mercifully_ coming to a lighter sentence for both parties involved," she continued, placing a heavy emphasis on the word _mercifully_ , her eyes owlish as she looked around the room. "Surely, if we can find a way to monitor them, we can let some sort of semblance go forth that these sorts of relationships can be accepted, albeit with close monitoring."

"…what?" Yao said under his breath, and exchanged a perplexed glance with Alfred. "Are they-"

"No, it can't be right," Alfred muttered, leaning forward. "They wouldn't have beat up Gilbert for them to suddenly turn empathic. That makes no sense. I don't trust them."

"Maybe what they've done has quenched their thirst for power," Yao mused, but hated the idea that Joker Gilbert was their punching bag. "But I don't think they would stop here. They were trying to manipulate your Deciding as well, Alfred."

"In lieu of this…compromise, we will require Ace Matthew and Joker Gilbert to sign a binding clause to promise that there will be no magically unstable children. That is the first step we must take to ensure the safety of all of Cards." the advisor – another one, but with the same purple badge – announced to applause. Yao daren't look at Matthew's expression.

There was something much more malicious underneath that façade of allowing their relationship to exist. Yao knew that he couldn't trust them, after what they had done to a crown prince and a Joker.

And he wasn't about to.

* * *

Gilbert looked at him, his eyes lingering to how Matthew's hand trembled even as he signed the papers. He didn't blame him for hesitating – it had been the source of their talk the first time they had met.

Matthew had admitted that the person he had been talking about before was someone that he didn't exactly know who. He sometimes felt that it was someone who could be dependable – not him, because in his own eyes he was not dependable at all. He admitted that Jack Yao had had to tie up a few loose ends and do a bit of polishing of his work here and there. He didn't feel adequate.

That was the first time Gilbert had kissed him.

It was a rush of exhilaration that had gone to his head, and fear didn't strike until a few moments when Matthew had not met him. He began to try to withdraw, dreaming up embarrassing excuses falling from his lips as he babbled on as Matthew called the guards on him or something…

But all of those rushed out of his head the moment Matthew threw his arms around his neck and kissed him soundly, causing him to stumble and almost break the bookshelf. Despite the exorbitant fee he would still have to pay even though he was queen, it was the happiest moments of his life.

And then he had stopped being queen.

Matthew put down his pen and let out a deep exhale, taking a glance at Gilbert for a heartbeat before stepping backwards. Gilbert could tell that what had conspired in the room wouldn't let them be in contact with other until they had fulfilled the stupid requirements.

But that meant they could be together…at a price. None of those cute kids he knew Matthew wanted. They would be watched – _surveyed_ , and things would never be the same. But if it were to guarantee his safety, he would do anything.

Relief poured into Gilbert's veins as one of his cuts pulsed a little, making him feel the sting. He silently thanked the Fates that they were on his shoulder and not on Matthew's. It would break his heart to see him even more hurt than he was now – he didn't deserve the beating. Above all, he knew he would protect him even with his life.

And that was why he picked up the damn pen and signed the damn paper and read those damn terms, over and over until his eyes blurred over with what was either confusion or tears.

His bruised fingers wrote a feeble mess that was now his signature, and the moment he put it down it felt like a huge weight had been released from his shoulders.

But why did he still feel so apprehensive…?

* * *

"As we can see, the two royals of Cards have signed the documents," the advisors announced, showing the paper as if it were some sort of trophy found after a fishing competition. "As we all know, this means that if they do dare to break this rule, we will be forced to enact a stricter punishment."

Matthew kept his face down, burying his face in Yao's shoulder as it seemed to be the only semblance of something that kept him from bursting into the tears. He had given in to Gilbert and Alfred's tormentors, as well as his.

But it was for Gilbert's sake. The way he had looked at him the moment he walked in screamed _Thank the Fates it wasn't you._

Matthew was the reason Gilbert wore those horrific scars, mentally and physically, on his skin. And now he was still willing to do anything for him – and Matthew knew in his soul he would do everything.

 _I'll fight them when my brother's King_ , Matthew thought as if he could say it to Gilbert in that moment. _I'm not going to forget nor forgive what they did to you. But don't think these scars we have on our bodies are forgotten. They've helped us stay together. And I know I won't stop loving you._

 _Alfred_ , he said to himself, to his brother who would never hear him in that moment. _I should have told you. If you could forgive me, please let me know. Just don't take it all out on him._

 _And Yao, help me learn. Help the two of us learn. If you can't forgive me, help me change. Thank you for being here for me. Without you…I don't know what I'd be doing right now._

 _…I'm so sorry, Arthur. What I did to you was unforgiveable._

"We'll get through this together," Yao said, grasping Matthew's right hand. In a moment that felt almost unreal, Alfred's other hand reached out for his left, so that the three of them were linked. "You know we're here for you and Joker Gilbert, Matthew."

"…thank you," Matthew said, but the voice came out like a sob, thinking about how Gilbert was stranded in a foreign country, his brother worrying about him over in Hearts, with no support at all. "Can you – ever forgive me for what I've done?"

"Oh, Matthew," Yao said gently, patting his hair in a way that seemed almost too familiar to his childhood. "There's nothing to forgive."

But between Gilbert's injuries and the crushing defeat that they had just been forced to sign, Matthew couldn't help but doubt that was true.

* * *

"Before we can conclude today's instrumental session, there is one more condition before we can finish," the advisor said, and Gilbert bit his lip, the apprehension rising in his chest. He could see Matthew holding hands with Al and Jack Yao, and it made him relax a little to see that he was being supported, but at the same time he felt a pang in his chest.

 _Lud…where are you? Stay safe. I can't have anyone else getting hurt but me…_

"As a precaution, we have elected to perform a little…trial, of some sort," the advisor said, letting their gaze trail to Gilbert's – as if to gloat in their victory. "As we're not very sure whether this relationship is as volatile as the one that happened before this law was put in – and for good reason, I must add – the top advisorship have agreed unanimously on this trial."

"What does it involve?" a member asked, his chocolate eyes questioning. He was wearing a silver patch – meaning that he was the main advisor to a member of royalty. "And why has the top advisorship not been alerted until now?"

"We were…concerned about your bias towards him, Carlos," the advisor smoothly retorted. "And to judge Ace Matthew fairly, we cannot have any biased in favour or against him."

 _Bullshit_ , Gilbert bit back, but felt that another stone had been removed from his back. This advisor actually was someone Matthew trusted, and Carlos looked immensely troubled as he slowly took his seat.

"Anywho. This trial, which the advisor has just brought up, involves a handful of…tests, shall we say?" the advisor said, letting out a little laugh that made Gilbert's teeth grind in fury. "Yes, well. Excuse me. We have elected to follow the same steps to test for factors that were raised in alarm of the last Ace Joker relationship. They will be tested on their physical ability, their actual bond, and their magical potential. If we find that it is too large and unstable, we will be forced to take a more serious action."

Instantly, Gilbert knew it was a trap. They obviously knew what sort of magic Matthew could do; as an Ace they wouldn't have paid that much attention to him until he had come of age. Matthew had told him himself that he didn't have much magic power, and preferred to keep it that way as he was praised for his critical thinking instead of his magical abilities.

They wanted to hurt them with these 'tests'. Break them. Wreck their bodies and tear their magical energies from them until they stopped breathing. It was nothing but thinly disguised torture.

Instinctually, Gilbert started formulating a plan.

If there had to be someone coming out from this nightmare, it would be Matthew.

No matter the cost.

* * *

so you thought it couldn't get worse? ;)

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replies

 _vivadragnire_ \- yeah so this is why i disappeared from tumblr haha. this is another trial though...

 _venivediperivi_ \- ahh thank you much, that really means a lot! yep, the two of them are absolute plonks sometimes, unfortunately.

 _CFAA_ \- (oops i did it again)

 _infinite hope_ \- it's still mindblowing people would rec my fic, honestly. pfft somedays i feel that my scenes are a bit flat and are rambly/lots of dialogue, etc, but i think i'll be going back to this comment a lot to remind me my writing's improving in the sense. thank you 3

 _hearthorse11_ \- and back to the original program. please forgive me

 _pastaaddict_ \- to be honest, gil's strength is really admirable and it's one of my favourite traits to write about.

 _outsoldsuits -_ what good work? lmfaoo

 _russia says hello_ \- it's OK, i have tissues always free of charge

 _suzianaviolet_ \- hey, welcome to the party! i hope this is a bit of a pleasant surprise as i update on saturdays instead. thank you very much as well ;u;

 _n kukurichan_ \- ayyy you're back, how are things? to touch on your first point, i kind of wanted to present gil and matthew's relationship as a 'foil' to arthur and alfred's - they're still very hesitant with each other, holding back (i love you but no homo). but as we can see prucan know each other and love each other very deeply, and they're much more knowledgeable about each other than USUK are right now. and the second point is about how they really _crave_ that power - i tried to reference it in this chapter! for three, i really missed arthur actually, haha. he's on alfred's mind a lot all the time so i think it would only be right as alfred's desperate to put things right between them. also, you're right. every single person in spades is not having a good love story...oops...

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 _ **reviews, favourites and follows are what will keep me writing, so please go ahead and leave them!**_


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